WRITTEN FOR QLFC, RESERVE LEAGUE
SEASON 7, ROUND 4
Beater 2: "Uh...no, thanks. No snip snip." Bob's Burgers
WC: 1034
"Your hair looks like a mess," Rabastan said, tugging on Regulus's hair as the latter bent over his cauldron. "You need a snip snip."
"What in Merlin's name is a snip snip?" Regulus asked before blowing into the cauldron and watching it turn royal-blue.
"A haircut," Rabastan explained, rolling his eyes. He leaned back and stated, "A snip snip sounds more fun, though."
"Uh...no, thanks. No snip snip," Regulus deadpanned.
Rabastan pouted and said, "Come on, Reggie. You should get a haircut. I heard a few girls saying that you should get a small trim every three months. It helps your hair grow better."
"My hair is perfect, thank you very much," Regulus snarked. He frowned at Rabastan and asked, "Shouldn't you be paying attention to your potion instead of talking about my hair?"
"Your hair deserves to be talked about—but only after it gets a nice haircut," Rabastan said, reaching forward to tug on Regulus's hair again.
It wasn't limp, but Rabastan knew it wasn't at its best either. He had always wanted to try cutting someone's hair, and now that he had a chance, he was going to grab the opportunity with both hands.
The only problem was that his best friend wasn't interested in a quick snip snip.
After Potions class was over, Rabastan followed Regulus to Arithmancy even though he didn't take the subject. He shamelessly pleaded with Regulus to let him cut his hair, but Regulus refused.
"I don't want your grubby little hands anywhere near my hair," Regulus stated as the reason for his refusal.
"My hands aren't grubby. Just because I don't moisturise like you do, that doesn't mean my hands are anything less than perfect," Rabastan grumbled, glancing down at his hands. He tried to subtly flick away the little dirt in his nails, but Regulus saw the action.
Regulus grabbed Rabastan's hand and pointed at his nails. "See? Your hands are dirty."
"I'm not going to trim your hair with dirty hands, Reggie," Rabastan whined, pulling his hand away. "I swear I'll clean them with all those products you use, and then, I'll give you a quick snip snip."
"Stop calling it a snip snip. It's getting old," Regulus said, rolling his eyes. "And stop following me, too. Don't you have a class to get to?"
"I'll skip it," Rabastan threatened, thinking just the thought of him skipping class would be enough to make Regulus agree to a haircut, but he was proven wrong.
"It's not like it's going to affect my grade, so why should I worry?" Regulus smirked at Rabastan. "Have fun sitting outside my class, Rab. Just so you know, I've got double Arithmancy today." He wiggled his fingers at Rabastan and entered the classroom.
Rabastan cursed under his breath and decided to go to Divination anyway. He didn't want to spend two hours sitting outside in the cold hallway.
The rest of the day passed by in the same fashion. Rabastan followed Regulus, begging him to let him cut Regulus's hair, but Regulus refused.
"No means no, Rab," Regulus said for the millionth time that day. He was trying to get dressed for bed, but Rabastan kept crawling after him, his hands clasped and his lower lip jutting out in a dramatic pout. When Rabastan tugged on the hem of Regulus's trousers and almost yanked them down, Regulus kicked Rabastan. "Stop it, Rab."
"Not until you let me trim your hair."
"No."
The moment Regulus turned his back on him, Rabastan leapt and knocked him onto the bed, crawling on top of Regulus and straddling his hips. Regulus cried out, "Hey, what are you—"
Rabastan used his left hand to hold Regulus's arms over his head, and he whipped out the pair of scissors from his pocket. He clenched his thighs, securing his prey. "Hold still and this won't take a while."
The door opened, and Rabastan glanced up. Kingsley Shacklebolt, their roommate, stood in the doorway, his bag slung over his shoulder and his eyes wide with horror. Kingsley stammered, "I...uh...Do you two need some...privacy?"
"What? No!" Regulus snapped, trying to buck Rabastan off but failing. "Kingsley, help me get him off!"
Kingsley put his hands up and backed away slowly. "I'm sorry, but I don't swing that way. I'm also into monogamy," he stammered, staring at a spot behind Rabastan's head.
"We're not shagging, you moron," Regulus cried, his face reddening with embarrassment. Rabastan grinned and trailed the scissors up the side of Regulus's face. Regulus snapped, "Rab, I swear to Merlin! If you cut off even an inch of hair, I'll kill you!"
Confused, Kingsley asked, "You're doing what?"
"I want to trim his hair, but he refuses to give me the chance," Rabastan explained, still pressed up against Regulus. He smirked and said, "This is the only way I can get him to do anything."
"Please, I don't want to know what you two get up to behind closed curtains," Kingsley said, walking over to his bed and sitting down on the edge of the mattress.
"We're not shagging," Regulus said, turning his head to scowl at Kingsley.
"I'm not judging. Just saying. If you are going to make this a permanent thing, I'd like it if you two gave me some warning." Kingsley put his hands up defensively.
Rabastan took the opportunity to cut off Regulus's hair.
The sound of the scissors snip-snipping echoed through the room, and a large chunk of black hair fell onto Regulus's shoulder.
There was absolute silence. The calm before the storm.
Then, Regulus screamed, "Rabastan! I'm going to kill you!"
Rabastan squealed as Regulus finally managed to flip them over. Rabastan dropped the scissors onto the bed and tried to slide away from Regulus, but Regulus grabbed him by his hair and dragged him back towards him.
"You like haircuts so much, don't you?" Regulus hissed, his eyes dark. A wicked smirk appeared on his lips, and Rabastan began to fear for his life. "How about I give you a haircut?"
"No, please! Reggie, no! You know I love my hair," Rabastan pleaded, but Regulus didn't listen.
And that was how Rabastan found himself completely bald.