Hey guys! My name is Clara Sophia. I originally posted this story on AO3, but decided to post it here as well and I really hope you like it. Let me know :)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

Alec Lightwood wasn't used to alcohol.
Really not at all.
He didn't even like the liquid, it had an awful taste, no matter what he'd tried.
Furthermore, it was like his whole body was absolutely unable to tolerate it the few time he'd tried to drink.
And he fucking knew.
He avoided it all the time...but yeah, not this one time. He'd needed it this one night.
And maybe, he drank a little bit too much.
However, to his misfortune, he realized it a little late. Honestly, Alec just realized it, when he opened his eyes the following morning, groaning in pain as he recognized the sunlight flooding into the room, squeezing them shut immediately. His head was currently killing him.
How much did he drink last night? He'd lost count at some point, and, obviously, his memory as he tried to remember where he was.
Putting his arm over his also hurting eyes to protect them a little from the sun, Alec tried to open them again, a little more careful this time. Carefully roaming his eyes over the silky sheets which surrounded him, he became more confused with every passing second.
Where, by the Angel, was he? Nothing in this room was familiar to him.
Panic slowly but steadily rising in his gut, Alec took in his surroundings, realizing with a silent gasp, that he was stripped down to his boxers.
And. Someone. Was. Holding. Him.
That was all it took for him to completely freak out. He couldn't, just couldn't stop the panic spreading through his whole body.
Throwing the sheets away, Alec almost jumped out of bed, not hearing the confused groan that occurred from behind him. He just wanted to get away from being touched. He would just get hurt, Alec knew it, and he couldn't bear more pain.
But Alec didn't make it as far as he wanted to come. His whole body suddenly started trembling in fear and panic, his legs gave out, and he all but collapsed to the ground, heavy gasps escaping him as he tried to breathe.
"Hey...hey...Alexander?" A person suddenly asked soothingly. Alec, his eyes wide open in panic, recognized a pair of feet stopping in front of him only seconds later.
"S...stop, stop. Don't, please," Alec whimpered in between gasps and tried to crawl away from the person. "Don't touch me, don't hurt me," he almost sobbed, beggingly. He squeezed his eyes shut as his heavy gasps increased. He felt like he would pass out at any minute.
"Hey, I'm not going to touch you, Alexander, it's fine. Just let me help you, okay? " Alec couldn't really focus, it felt like the words came from far away, and the person had to repeat them a few times until Alec could concentrate enough to understand them.
"Ho...how," Alec rasped, desperately in need of help, but not knowing how to manage it.
"Just copy my breathing, alright? You're panicking and need to calm down, Alexander. I don't want you to pass out. Listen to my breathing, darling and let me help you," the person told him soothingly, and Alec nodded frantically, trying his best to copy the breathing of the person in front of him.
It took them quite a while until he'd calmed down enough, and the man patiently gave him all the time he needed. Encouraging and soothing him with his calming voice without touching him. Alec was more than grateful for this in just that moment. He'd never been able to get out of this panic attack all on his own.
"Th..thank you," Alec all but stuttered a while later, as his shoulders slumped in embarrassment. He felt utterly exhausted and vulnerable. If it were to him, he would lay down right here on the ground and sleep.
"It's okay, darling, I'm glad that I could help you. Though I won't lie and say you didn't scare the shit out of me," the man admitted honestly. The melodic sound of his voice alone calmed Alec, and he believed him, even though he wasn't able to smile just yet at these words, knowing the man just tried to cheer him up a little.
"I'm sorry. I...I," he tried to explain, but the words wouldn't leave him. Alec wasn't good with words. To be honest, he was the most awkward person you could think of, but ten times worse. At least in his own imagination.
"No need to be sorry, it's fine."
Alec only nodded in response, his eyes now focusing on the pair of feet in front of him. Feet with painted nails, he realized then. But Alec couldn't find the strength to be surprised, for he was just too drained from the earlier fear and panic.
"Alexander? Am I allowed to sit down next to you?" The person asked after a moment, and once more, Alec only nodded weakly. If he'd take his distance, it would be okay.
"Just don't touch me again," he whispered brokenly, honestly wanting to get comforted by getting touched, but not being able to take it right now.
"I won't, not as long as you don't want me to. I promise," the person said, sitting down beside Alec carefully, putting an acceptable distance between them. Alec relaxed a little bit more. He didn't know why, but he trusted this man. He adjusted himself on the ground, leaning his back against the bed, so they were sitting next to each other.
Bending his head a little, he carefully took a look through his almost black hair at the incredibly good-looking man beside him. Even with his also black hair sticking in every direction and the colorful sleep pants he was wearing, he was adorable. He smiled gently at him, with worry written all over his face. He was absolutely beautiful, though. Asian, with an almost golden skin, which was shining in the sunlight. He definitely did sports, Alec realized, as he observed the firm, well-formed abs. He could've watched him forever.
Blushing, Alec averted his eyes.
It was wrong, thinking that way, he was a freak, and Alec wasn't ready yet for the person to find out.
"Are you better now?" The man asked caringly, observing Alec's face carefully. It was just then that Alec realized that he had been crying during his panic attack. His eyes felt swollen, and he felt a wetness on his cheeks. Wiping away the moisture with still slightly shaking hands, Alec nodded once more in response.
"A bit...I think," he managed to answer then in a hoarse voice.
"May I get you some water, darling?"
"That...that would be nice," Alec whispered exhausted, feeling like a burden to a complete stranger. "I will leave then...," he added.
"Oh, you don't have to, Alexander. I want to make sure you're okay before you leave. And you're clearly far away from being okay. Are you in need of a pain killer as well?"
Alec observed the man carefully, wanting to know if he meant what he said before he nodded once more.
The man gracefully jumped to his feet then and left the room for a moment until he came back with two glasses of water and a pill for Alec, which he took gratefully.
They fell into silence then, at least for a little while, before Alec slowly began to drift off, as he felt the exhaustion overwhelming him.
"Alexander, don't you want to lie down on the bed and rest for a little longer? You clearly need it, and I don't mind. I won't touch you if you feel uncomfortable with it."
"What's your name?" Alec asked silently, ignoring the person's earlier question for now. He would get back to them when he knew some more.
"Magnus. Magnus Bane."
"I don't remember anything...did I...did we..uhm," blushing, Alec gestured between them with one of his hands. If that were the case, he would probably never get over it. It wasn't right, doing things like that. Wasn't natural.
"Oh, no, darling. Don't you worry. I would never take advantage of you in such a vulnerable state you've been in last night. Though I have to admit that we cuddled a little. You needed someone to hold you and asked me to. But, believe me, that's all we did," Magnus answered honestly, and Alec believed him without any doubt.
"Okay," he whispered, slowly rising to his feet. Magnus followed his movements and rose to his feet as well.
"Where will you be while I rest?" He asked, almost embarrassed about this question. Alec was at a stranger's home and not in the place to ask these questions.
"Depends on where you want me to be, Alexander. If you want me to leave the room, I will. I just want you to feel comfortable, so feel free to tell me what you want."
Once more, Alec watched Magnus in awe. Was this man even real?
"I'm a complete stranger," Alec whispered.
"Well, I don't mind," Magnus shrugged, smiling gently at Alec. "You need someone who takes care of you, Alexander, and it would be a pleasure for me to help you feel better. At least a little bit. And, once more, I won't take advantage of you, you can trust me, darling."
Alec listened to Magnus, observing him carefully. He'd never met a person like him, and Magnus was right, he needed someone to take care of him right now.
"Okay, thank you, Magnus," he whispered, the emotion evident in his voice. Alec didn't deserve that, he knew. But, for one day, or at least this moment, he wanted to feel safe. And Magnus just managed to make him believe that he was safe with him.
"Don't Alexander, it's alright. Honestly." Magnus smiled at him once more, and Alec nodded.
"Can you stay...I mean...if it's okay?" He asked then, awkwardly, averting his eyes once more, fearing Magnus' rejection. Alec wasn't used to people being kind to him, apart from Jace, Izzy, and Max.
"Of course. If you want me to. Let's just add some boundaries so you won't panic again when you wake up later," Magnus suggested, walking to the side of his bed, he'd been lying earlier. "You don't want to get touched, is that always the case?"
"It's just...it was so unexpected. I was afraid...but it's okay...I'm good now."
Alec wasn't okay, far from it, he knew that as he sat down on the bed once more. Probably would never be. But he wanted someone to hold him, just for today.
"Alright, let's just say, for the moment, you've been touched enough?" Magnus asked gently. He wasn't making fun of him, Alec knew that, so he nodded again. "I'm sorry, I'm not good at that...at explaining," Alec said embarrassedly.
"Alexander, don't apologize. I don't question anything. If you want to talk about it later, you have my full attention. But right now, you need to rest."
Alec nodded in understanding, but also gratefully that Magnus wasn't pushing anything.
"Can...can you...just...canyoupleasestaywithmeforawhile?" He all but stuttered then, his back tensing in fear of Magnus' reaction.
"Of course, darling, if you feel comfortable with it," Magnus assured, not questioning anything here, which Alec was more than grateful for.
So, Alec didn't hesitate as he lay down once more, after placing the glass of water on the nightstand. He let himself get soothed by Magnus scent, which, he realized now, surrounded him. Sandalwood, mixed with his natural scent. It was calming, and Alec didn't need long to drift off to sleep.

Magnus, on the other hand, didn't manage to get back to sleep after what had happened. Too occupied with his thoughts, he just laid there, watching the younger man beside him sleeping. Alec's expression was, luckily, more peaceful now. But then, something caught his attention. Magnus hadn't realized it first, being too concentrated on calming him down, but when Alexander turned around a little, and the sheets slid down his shoulder, he saw them: lots and lots of bruises on his upper arms, chest, and back. They were vanishing, turning green and yellow, but still, it was apparent that Alec had been in a fight.
What had happened to this handsome man? He didn't seem like a guy who liked getting into trouble.
Alexander was having a hard time, that was obvious. He'd seem so lost last night. And Magnus couldn't stop remembering the time they had met.

It wasn't a bar, Magnus used to visit. He'd never been in there, to be honest, but this time though, he couldn't shrug off the sense of being needed there.
So who was he to question his gut feeling? He'd learned to trust him more in the past, and that was exactly what he did. Magnus walked into the dark, uninviting bar. He took a seat at the front, beside the only person who was there as well. The man seemed lost in thoughts, holding a glass of whiskey with both his hands. And the guy was, even from the view Magnus had, incredibly beautiful. He had almost black hair, which might be a little bit too long for Magnus' taste but suited him perfectly. Magnus couldn't see the man's whole face, but he liked what he saw. He was wearing all black clothes, which was a big contrast to Magnus' own colorful, unique clothing style to say at least.
"All alone here, darling?" Magnus asked the man, ordering a drink right afterward.
The man just nodded, not wasting energy to look up at him.
"Do you mind if I'll stay here, or do you need some space?" Magnus asked again, not wanting to make the man uncomfortable. There were more than enough seats empty, to be honest.
"You can stay," the man slurred slightly, risking a short look at Magnus, before focussing on his drink again.
"I'd love to. I'm Magnus, by the way."
"Alec," the man just answered. He didn't smile, and the way he sat there, with his shoulders slumped, his head hanging made Magnus' heart clench. Alec wasn't just lost in his thoughts, he also felt lost.
"Alec, from Alexander by any luck?" Magnus asked, trying to get Alec out of his lethargy. Maybe he could make him feel better, even if it was just for one moment.
"Yeah," Alec answered. "But everyone call's me Alec."
"Would you mind if I stick to Alexander. I kind of like that name," Magnus told him, smiling gently when Alec once more lifted his head a little to look at him, this time taking in Magnus whole appearance with the saddest, hazel-colored, eyes, Magnus had ever seen, before he answered.
"No...no, I wouldn't mind."
They had talked quite a while from then on, with Alec ordering more whiskey for himself. Magnus didn't dare to stop him from doing that.
Who was he to do so?
Sometimes people just needed a few drinks for whatever reason, but he wanted to make sure Alec made it home safely after they'd spent a few hours together.
"I can't go home...I don't...," Alec murmured in the saddest voice Magnus might have ever heard in his whole being.
"You can sleep at my place, sober up, and I'll bring you home tomorrow," Magnus suggested, not minding Alec's company at all. Honestly, he wanted to get to know Alec a little more. There was something about him.
"Okay, I can do that," Alec answered after a moment of overthinking Magnus' offer. He rose to his feet, or at least he tried to. Swaying, Alec got some hold on the bar table. Otherwise, he would've fallen straight to the ground.
"Hey, let me help you, darling," Magnus suggested, and Alec had nodded gratefully, yet not meeting Magnus' eyes. And so he put Alec's arm around his shoulder, his own arm around Alec's waist after paying for both of them.
Together they stumbled out of the bar, looking for a taxi that brought them to Magnus loft. Alec didn't break contact with Magnus all the way, leaning heavily against him. But Magnus couldn't mind more, to be honest, he liked it quite a lot more than he should.
They made it to Magnus' bedroom, and he helped Alec to get out of his clothes before he undressed as well. Alec had sobered up a little at this point.
"Do you need anything, Alexander?" Magnus asked carefully, meeting Alec's eyes, which were full of vulnerability. He nodded in response, blushing before he even had said anything.
"It's okay, I won't question it, and I won't blame you," Magnus told him encouragingly, waiting patiently for Alec's response.
"Can...can you hold me? I need...," Alec whispered ashamed, averting his eyes from Magnus' gaze.
"Oh...of course darling, if that's what you want and need, I will, of course, hold you," Magnus said empathetically, opening his arms willingly. He couldn't explain it, even to himself, but there was something about Alec.
Alec was fast to move into his arms, placing his head on Magnus' chest. He moved to put his arm around Magnus' waist but stopped immediately, already blushing again, his shoulders suddenly becoming tense.
"Do whatever you feel comfortable with, Alexander. It'll be fine. I won't take advantage of you. I've got you safe here," Magnus whispered, knowing Alec didn't have any attention besides desperately craving for comfort. And Magnus was more than willing to give it to him.
"You sure?" Alec murmured, still not looking at him awhile Magnus nodded.
"It's fine, I promise."
And finally, Alec made himself comfortable in Magnus' arms, almost melting into him, putting his arm around Magnus' waist.
"Thank you," Alec whispered, the emotion evident in his voice. Magnus couldn't stop himself from cradling Alec closer to his chest for a moment.
"You're more than welcome, Alexander, sweet dreams, darling. I got you," Magnus answered soothingly, already feeling Alec drifting off to sleep. He watched the younger man a little while longer before he also gave in to his tiredness and closed his eyes.

Watching Alec now made Magnus' heart clench once more. He desperately wanted to help him. Wanted to make sure Alec was alright to say at least. He would talk to him later, offering his help in the hopes that Alec would accept his offer.
"I hope I'm able to help you, Alexander," Magnus whispered, watching the younger man sleeping peacefully.