The upholstery of a luxurious sofa creaked, the sound echoing through the quiet apartment as Jesse St. James's weight collapsed, exhausted, onto the sofa. His fingers slid through the short curls of his freshly cut hair when a tired sigh escaped his lips before an arrogantly satisfied smile graced them.
It had been a long morning of training. And as much as he tried to deny himself, Jesse knew how much he missed all the adrenaline that a choir competition could provide. The spotlight blinding his eyes, the unmistakable sound of a standing ovation after an impeccable performance, the brightness of the trophy illuminating his face ... He sighed again, wistfully this time.
For most of his life, Jesse had everything he wanted. Of course, most of what he achieved was due to his hard work and the obvious talent to which he was blessed. He was the best at everything he set out to do. The most talented singer, the most dedicated dancer, the most beautiful and the most desired. His high school years were glorious and he had no doubt that fame was something he was destined for. Jesse had met many other talented artists, all of whom maintained a thick cloud of insecurity within them, he was the exception, of course. Jesse didn't knew the feeling of wanting something that was not within his reach and failure was something he thought was destined only for the less talented losers, it never crossed his mind to become one of those losers.
Jesse's smile became bitter and somewhat derogatory. If his 18-year-old self could see the share of failures he had accumulated over the past two years, he would surely freak out. No one could blame him for that, his tendency to drama was part of what made Jesse st. James the rising star he was. But now, he was no longer that overly dramatic teenager who took vocal adrenaline to four consecutive national championships. Jesse is now an adult man. And with his adult life, something he was not prepared for hit him: the harsh reality.
Upon leaving Ohio for the big L.A., Jesse believed that it would only be a matter of time before a major producer had a glimpse of his magnificent voice and brought him to stardom. But L.A. was not Ohio. And Jesse discovered that he was no longer the golden boy, the star that stood out ... He was just another arrogant boy with a huge talent among a million other equally great talents. And as if it was no longer humiliating enough not to get a job even in those bars where the waiters sing, it was mortifying for former vocal adrenaline star to discover that he was being expelled from college for failing most subjects. It was clear to him, the glory days were over.
And now here he was, back in Ohio. Restarting the cycle. Where it all began. Back to Vocal Adrenaline to take them to another national victory. Not as the star this time, but as the coach, but it didn't really matter, as much as Jesse felt a need for the spotlight, his thirst for victory was what moved him since winning his first competition. That was what he needed to feel like himself again; regain your confidence and finally be able to make your dreams come true. Dreams ...
"Adreamis something that fills up the emptiness inside."
The memory hit him like a punch in the stomach, sucking all the air out as the pain throbbed inside him, causing the void that existed inside Jesse to grow until there was nothing left. And that emptiness hurts. More than the neglect of his parents and the contempt of his brother and sister, more than the failure of his academic life. That void inside him was shaped like Rachel Berry.
"I'm your boyfriend. I want realize all your dreams."
It's easy to get lost in those memories when they came fresh like that, as vivid as if they had happened a minute ago. Rachel was walking beside him, curled up in the curve below his arm when he said those words and he had never been so sincere. However, Jesse never had the chance and it was heartbreaking to know that now he could only watch from afar while her dreams came true, without him being part of it.
Jesse wondered if Rachel thought about him sometimes. If she missed him. Because he missed her ... He avoided thinking about her and failed most of the time, but it was difficult for a lonely young man not to hold on to the memories of a time when there was something really warm in his life, something really good. No one has ever seen beyond the arrogant mask of the protagonist of the vocal adrenaline, he never allowed anyone to get close enough to it. Always playing a character, without breaking the script for even a second. No one ever saw him as he really was, so Rachel arrived, with that smile that could brighten the darkest day and the voice that could fill an entire stadium. He always wondered how a voice that size fit in such a small body. She disarmed him completely since they sang together in that music store for the first time, making their barriers collapse and showing off the real Jesse. He knew he had fallen in love with her right there when the first notes of Hello from Lionel Ritchie came out of his thick lips, joining his voice and enveloping him in a spell that even now, almost two years later, he didn't was able to get rid of.
Shaking his head to get rid of the thoughts, Jesse fumbled in his pockets for his cell phone to order his lunch. Turning on the device that had been off since the rehearsal began, Jesse froze as he stared at the screen.
7 missed calls from Shelby Corcoran
He frowned. It had been over a year since he heard about Shelby. She used to send emails almost daily and called frequently, but as soon as he stepped out of the Carmel auditorium for the last time, Jesse avoided contact with anything that connected him to Ohio, especially his former coach. Of course, that was a lame excuse, the truth was that Jesse still deeply resented what Shelby had forced him to do with Rachel. So it was a surprise that she tried to contact him, especially with such insistence.
His curious side wanted to return the call, but decided not to. Dropping his cell phone on the coffee table, he turned on the TV, put it in the Ohio News and walked to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water without paying attention to what the reporters said.
Returning to the living room, Jesse's eyes landed on the screen and suddenly, the whole room seemed to revolve around him. It was scary how his whole life could change in a second. How a simple sentence of a few words displayed on a screen had power over his entire life.
Jesse's fingers tightened painfully around the glass to keep it from slipping out of his hand, his knuckles turning white with the squeeze. He felt his knees go weak, no longer supporting the weight of his body. He took a few steps back to steady himself and ended up leaning against the cold wall. His breath came out in loud gusts as he repeatedly read the sentence that made his whole world fall apart.
Shooting at Mckinley High: shooters take students hostage.