A/N: This is New Moon through mid-Eclipse from Edward's perspective. These characters are not mine and all belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is her story and much of her dialogue wrapped in my interpretation of Edward's narration.
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porkiswayne, Clawer96, JerinAnn, kylabb, ToujoursPurSlytherin, Rebadams7, BruSwan, Guiltypleasure82, Amanda Pall, ReeceK, Faded_moon0206, MrsKent, and my guest reviewers!
I know some of you are missing Volume 2. I'm swamped at work right now and I have drafts to go off of for Volume 1, so those are easier to get out right now. I will get back to Volume 2 when I have a chance to catch my breath.
A/N: Alice's perspective.
Alice: Another Path (New Moon)
Edward's future was a mess. Vague and nonsensical with images and flashes that seemed not to tie into anything at all. I couldn't see. But that's because I wasn't using my eyes.
Edward had skipped town running from Bella Swan's blood. He was back for the moment, but already preparing to leave again, wanting to do the right thing.
It was an icy morning and Edward was, as was his new usual, acting strange. He got out of the car and immediately leaned against it, staring out toward the road. Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie each gave him side-eye before setting off for campus. I stayed, watching him.
When Bella's truck came into view, he watched it with a hundred questions in his eyes as though her approach was a rare scientific phenomenon. He took a deep breath as she parked, bracing himself.
For the briefest moment I saw a future where he went up to talk to her, but it fizzled before I could even focus on it, so I watched his face instead.
The girl was doing nothing interesting. A quick glance told me she was carefully making her way along the ice, clinging to her truck.
But you'd never know that watching Edward's face. Like I said, I hadn't been using my eyes.
His features melted out of their brooding mask and he smiled. It was one of those smiles. The kind that was so painfully mushy you wanted to look away. Except that I couldn't. Because I'd never seen Edward smile like that. And the light didn't leave his face when his brow furrowed in confusion... His bright eyes were intrigued. Fascinated.
Oh!
Wrapped up in the girl, Edward didn't notice my thoughts which must have been very loud at the moment given that I'd just realized he was in love with her! Holy shit!
In context - the context being that he loved her! - there was a little reason to some of the grainy visions. In one fuzzy image, I wanted to believe, with all my heart, that I was seeing an intricate white lace veil, shimmering white satin...
He made a firm decision to go talk to her and the result was jarring. What had been an imprecise snarl only a moment ago abruptly settled into two distinct and separate futures. And yes, that was white lace - down one avenue of the future, anyway. On the other side, the lace was black.
This was Bella Swan's funeral.
I'd hardly had time to make sense of the two futures when they were wiped clean again.
"NO!" I gasped, seeing the van that would kill her in a matter of seconds... Taking with it not only her life, but also the beautiful future I'd just glimpsed.
Well, Edward saved her.
Yada yada yada.
I took advantage of the time he was at the hospital to really sort things out. The two futures were back again. What would he think of them? As soon as I considered sharing what I'd seen, I decided against it. He would fight it, pull away from her. A futile exercise in the end, but still annoying. Annoying because I had a future with her, too, and I was eager to embrace it. Bella and I were going to be best friends. Sisters. So long as he didn't kill her.
Plans spurred by Jasper's anxiety and Rosalie's... irritation temporarily muddied up my visions again. We met as a family to hash it all out and guess who hadn't figured out he was in love? Guess who didn't take it well?
I think we'd all imagined at one point or another what it might be like if and when Edward finally found someone. None of us imagined it would be like this. That it would humble him to the point we actually started to miss his usual know-it-all self.
I tried to help and... maybe my methods were a little bit... dishonest.
Edward had failed. He couldn't stay away from Bella and here they were coming up on the crossroads of the meadow.
I'd been working on something for a couple days when Edward and I found ourselves on the side of the road. He was a mess, having just pulled over after nearly losing control of the car.
"Give me something that will work!" he roared at me, unable to accept that she would either die or become one of us. "Tell me another path! Show me how to stay away - where to go!"
He wasn't satisfied with the odds - so what if it was more likely that she became a vampire than die? How was that better?
So... "I've seen a third way, Edward. If you can get through the crisis, there's a new path out there."
"A new path?"
"It's sketchy. But look."
Okay, it was really, really sketchy. Edward, Bella, and I in Charlie's living room. Edward and I the same while Bella was a few years older.
Edward's shoulders relaxed some.
"It's not very probable, but I thought you'd like to know it was there. If you two get through the crisis, this is out there."
"Thank you, Alice," he whispered fervently.
The thing was... it wasn't real.
I'd been practicing. Living in the false vision and almost willing myself to believe it was true so my thoughts wouldn't give me away. I felt guilty lying, I did, but without the lie she was more likely to die. Without the lie, it was more likely he would leave her.
Once the business with James went down, once Edward saw the video, I knew he would leave her. But that imagined path was slowing him down. The longer he stayed, the deeper he got. The deeper he got, the harder it would be for him to stay away when he finally left.
Along came her birthday. The next disaster.
He stayed with her a long time that night, but that didn't give me hope as it gave the others. We gathered around the table, Edward and Jasper absent. While the others hashed it out, I held my head in my hands running through a thousand scenarios.
Esme was the most passionate that night. She clashed viciously with Rosalie in a way I'd never seen. Rosalie, who had never been more supportive of Edward's decisions in her entire life, eventually dismissed herself in a huff.
It was a couple hours before I spoke.
"We can't stop him," I murmured.
Carlisle turned to me, his eyes trusting, but pained.
"We can't stop him, but we can keep him away longer, if we're not strategic about this."
"What do you mean?" Emmett demanded.
"The more we fight with him, the more stubborn and resolved he gets. The longer he'll stay away from her."
"We have to try," Esme breathed. "We have to try to talk sense into him."
Carlisle squeezed her hand.
I shook my head sadly. "It won't help, making him feel like he's on trial."
"What if..." She took a deep breath. "What if it was just Carlisle? Just a conversation. Not - not an argument. Just..."
Carlisle looked at me questioningly.
I processed that, looking ahead again. "I don't know that it will help... but I don't think it would hurt, either."
"Okay," Esme said her choked voice bright with forced optimism. "Okay. Carlisle." She patted his hand. "You can do that, right, sweetheart?"
Her hope hurt him. Pressing his palm to her face, he answered, "I will talk to him. But you know him. You know what Alice sees."
She nodded and ducked her head, pressing it against his shoulder.
"So, what now?" Emmett asked grimly.
"We pack," I sighed. "He'll come home and he'll be surprised. It won't be what he expects and he'll feel like he's lost control."
"Are we trying to drive him crazy?" Emmett asked skeptically.
"Maybe. I don't think he'll need that much help, though."
Edward threw us a curve ball of his own. He was leaving us, too. But that wasn't the part that pissed me off. It was the fact that he wouldn't let me say goodbye to Bella. My best friend...
It made me nervous Edward would be hunting Victoria on his own, but I could see it was better in the long run. It forced him to keep moving and the moving seemed to deplete him faster. Potentially months faster.
In a flash of brilliance, I set up a little challenge for him, too. I told him he wouldn't make it six months when really I'd seen him making it as much as eight or nine. He would strive to prove me wrong and set the bar lower than he was capable. I let him weaken further, not giving him a heads up about Bella's change in work schedule.
I wanted to leave it at that and just let things run their course as I had advised the others, but I could see he was going to stall out at the airport. I took the opportunity to point out that she wasn't going to move on. That she would wait for him. Though he brushed me off, I knew, deep down, he heard me. That my words would count when he was at his lowest.
I underestimated just how much trouble he would get himself into.
I took my eye off of him for a couple days, reeling from what I'd uncovered about my human past in my old hometown, only to find he'd broken down in the heart of Dallas.
Jasper knew something was up with Edward, but he'd grudgingly allowed my secrecy. My anxiety got to be too much, though, and he refused to let it go.
His eyes turned into saucers learning Edward, in a state of madness, had set up camp in hostile territory. "Get him out," he demanded. "Or I'm calling Carlisle and Emmett and we'll do it."
I'd been giving it an honest effort, trying to help Edward find Victoria, but she was slippery. It had already been hard to see her - I didn't know her well - but at some point she just... vanished.
I couldn't see any other way to get Edward out so I lied to him again. Led him down to Brazil where I knew he'd be safe.
And he was... for a while.
Over those six months, I did my best to keep my promise and block out Bella. I had mixed success. After intently watching her and Edward's future for the better part of a year, it was like she was a part of me now. It helped that I didn't really want to see her all broken apart. It was healthier to keep my eyes set on the future when we were all together again.
But sometimes things intruded. Bella, in a daze, approaching drunk strangers in Port Angeles. Bella parked in the middle of the street on a blind curve, sobbing.
Technically, she was doing better than Edward, but it wasn't any easier to watch. She was human and breakable. And she he hadn't chosen this.
With time I wasn't seeing her as much but when I did, she looked a little better.
It was harder for the others to wait patiently. They couldn't see the other side, vivid and intact, as I could. They simply had to take my word for it. Emmett cheated a few times, trying to call Edward, but the others were religious about not making contact, trusting my advice.
Only Jasper had any idea how truly bad Edward was doing. The dangerous situations he kept putting himself into. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett... they wouldn't have let that go. They would have disrupted the process.
And it was getting close. Edward was wavering. Possibly within the week.
I insisted we spend spring break in Denali. I wanted to be close to Forks if he was going to break. Not wanting to give anyone false hope, I didn't explain my reasons, but I could tell they suspected something. Esme in particular. She was always watching me, waiting for a sign.
When I decided to stay back from the big hunting trip our cousins had planned, everyone else wanted to as well. That was big for Emmett who could normally talk of nothing but bears when we were in Alaska. Carlisle, not wanting to be rude, quietly pressured us to go, but only Esme was persuaded.
The four of us who had stayed behind were in Tanya's living room. Emmett had a basketball game on. Rosalie was gossiping, telling Jasper what Tanya had shared about Laurent. Apparently he'd spent several months here only to disappear without a word.
Emmett kept looking at me. It seemed he'd taken on Esme's habit in her absence.
"Just ask me, Emmett."
He grinned sheepishly. "How's he doing today?"
"The same."
"And tomorrow? Any... plans?"
"Oh yeah, he's coming home tomorrow."
"Wait, really?"
Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head.
"Do you really think I would just sit on that news?" I demanded.
He shrugged and looked back at the TV.
I watched the uniformed figures run across the screen, trying not to see Edward suffering. I'd had enough.
And then I saw her.
"Alice?" Jasper felt the horror arrive in a swift flurry.
Bella kicks off her shoes. Her toes curl around the edge of a perilously high ocean cliff. Bella... smiles?
What the hell was she doing?
"No," I breathed. "No. No, don't!"
"Alice?"
"What is it?"
"What's he doing?"
Bella raises her arms straight out, lifting her face to the rain. And then she jumps, screaming as she falls.
"No," I sobbed.
"Alice? Alice!"
"Alice! Give us something," Emmett boomed.
"She's - she's not coming up. She won't come up..."
"Esme?" Rosalie asked frantically. "Is something wrong with Esme?"
"No... No..."
"Then who?!"
"Bella. It's Bella!" I snapped.
"Alice what - ?"
"Shh," I hissed.
Where was she?
Come up, Bella! Fight, Bella! "Come on, Bella," I moaned.
The waves. The massive curling waves slamming into the rocks. And my best friend. Human, breakable, and weak trapped below.
She didn't have a chance.
I tried looking further out, but she wasn't there. Maybe Charlie -
"Oh God!" I clapped a hand over my mouth "Oh God. No!"
Charlie at the hospital, his face blank as he listens to the doctor. Charlie at the funeral home selecting a coffin. Charlie in an ancient suit at the cemetery.
I shook my head coming back to the present. Jasper's arm was around me, Emmett was kneeling in front of me, and Rosalie was standing at the furthest end of the room, her arms crossed over her chest.
"I have to go."
They followed me to the guest room where I hastily stuffed essentials into my purse.
"Alice, you need to tell us what's going on," Jasper said, trying to make his voice as soothing as possible.
I forced the purse zipper closed and the pull tab broke off in my hand. I turned from the dresser clutching the bag in both hands.
"Bella jumped off a cliff," I answered, my voice climbing hysterically. I swallowed and tried to make my tone even. "Bella jumped off a cliff. Into the ocean. And then she drowned."
There was a moment of stunned silence.
"Are you sure?" Emmett whispered.
"She's not coming back up, Emmett!"
Jasper leaned his forehead against the doorframe. "Fuck..." It was almost inaudible. He was blaming himself. So strong was his guilt that it radiated off of him and onto us.
He was two steps ahead of me, already considering the next tragedy.
Edward.
"Well, we need to call him," Rosalie said stiffly.
"No!" Jasper and I said in unison.
"They're right, babe," Emmett agreed, his eyes strangely empty. "I don't even now how he's gonna..."
"What? Don't you think he has a right to know?"
"Leave it alone, Rosalie," I ordered, pushing past her to get out the door.
"Where are you going, Alice?" Jasper demanded, on my heels as I descended the stairs.
"Leave what alone?" Rosalie was following me, too. "You can't just make that decision, Alice. Don't you think we should at least get Carlisle's - "
"Carlisle will agree with me."
"Alice?" Jasper interjected, grabbing my arm. "What are you doing? Where are you going?"
"I'm going to Forks. To help Charlie."
He shook his head. "Alice, we promised - "
"What does it matter now, Jasper?" I shouted at him. "Do you think he's really going to care about that once he hears..." My voice was swallowed up by another sob.
"Alice, stay here," he pleaded. "You're not in a good place."
I pulled my arm out of his grip and he didn't fight me. "I'm going."
I beat Charlie to the house and that was probably for the best. My emotions were chaotic and I wasn't sure what sort of comfort I could be just yet.
Upstairs, Bella's room was oddly neat. I curled up in her bed, pulling the covers over my head, and breathed deeply. My breaths turned into gasps and my gasps into sobs. Her scent was so thick it was almost like she was here with me again.
The flight had given me time to consider everything I would grieve and it all buried me now. The worst part was, I couldn't figure out how to tell Edward without killing him, too. And Esme...
I was so overcome I didn't think much of the roar of Bella's truck. I heard it, but knew it wasn't Charlie - I would have seen him coming.
The two heartbeats, the one low voice, must have belonged to someone unfamiliar - maybe family friends helping out - so I didn't really pay them any notice or worry about the fact that I hadn't expected them.
"OH. Holy, crap!"
I felt annoyed at this loud voice outside interrupting my grief.
The truck door slammed. The engine came to life. I was glad they were leaving already. I tuned them out again as they started arguing.
The truck tires squealed and the truck was on its way down the street, back the way it came. And then, after a minute or so, I heard the damn truck coming back again. Who were these people? What was their problem? Did they have no respect for the dead?
My annoyance vanished in a second.
I drift down the stairs, wait in the hall, watch the door slowly open...
I gasped.
Only one heart beat in front of the house now.
I waited in the hall, watched the door slowly open...
Bella.
She looked so nervous. Shaking, panting, fumbling in the dark for the light.
I just stared at her, my mouth hanging open.
She froze, terrified, her dull human senses somehow detecting me standing silent in the dark.
It took me a moment to figure out how to move again. Numbly, I flicked the switch.
Her eyes went round. It was as if she was seeing a ghost, too.
While she gawked, I tried to wrap my head around the fact that she was alive. Did she have some cousin that looked eerily similar to her? Who smelled exactly the same? Well, almost the same - it smelled like she'd been living in a barn.
She trembled for a moment and then launched herself at me, hugging me, putting her pulsing artery right up in my face.
"Alice, oh, Alice!" Was she a chain smoker now? Her voice!
"Bella?"
My eyes pricked as she fell apart in a storm of tears. What an absolute wreck. But at least I knew... this girl knew me. Loved me. Missed me.
It was really, truly Bella.
I held Bella in my lap on the couch for a long time, letting her cry it all out before I confronted her. "Would you like to explain to me how you're alive?"
The sobs tapered off as she slowly met my eyes. I raised my eyebrows when she didn't say anything.
She swallowed loudly, blushing a faint pink. "You saw me fall."
"No," I disagreed, really giving her a look now, "I saw you jump."
She pursed her lips and fiddled with the hem of her jacket.
"I told him this would happen, but he didn't believe me. 'Bella promised. Don't be looking for her future, either. We've done enough damage.'" Bella flinched and it took me a second to understand what she was reacting to.
"But just because I'm not looking, doesn't mean I don't see," I told her. "I wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear, Bella. It's just that I'm already attuned to you... when I saw you jumping..."
I explained how I'd rushed off, needing to do something. About never seeing her come up from the water.
"What happened?" I demanded. "And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you stop to think what this would do to him? And my brother? Do you have any idea what Edward - "
His name hit her like an electric shock and she cut me off. "Alice, I wasn't committing suicide."
"Are you saying you didn't jump off a cliff?"
"No, but..." She grimaced. "It was for recreational purposes only."
I didn't believe her one little bit.
"I'd seen some of Jacob's friends cliff diving," she said quickly. "It looked like... fun, and I was bored..."
I stared at her, remembering her face in the vision... that smile, that peace about her right before she jumped... the girl was lying through her teeth.
"I didn't think about how the storm would affect the currents," she rushed, still trying to convince me. "Actually, I didn't think about the water much at all. So if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?"
Jacob, again... Who was this and why didn't I see him?
She seemed pleased to have distracted me and went on hurriedly. "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't jumped in after me. Well, okay, there's no probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess he towed me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me. How come you didn't see that?"
Bella was so absurdly casual about it all. Like her near drowning was no more significant than a narrowly avoided fender bender. But I was too distracted to chide her.
"Someone pulled you out?" I checked.
"Yes. Jacob saved me."
Jacob... I searched back through the faces of Forks High School. There had been a sophomore named Jacob. And a freshman. But they'd been small boys who likely wouldn't have faired much better than her against those waves. Honestly, even a grown, muscled human man would have been no match for those waters...
Who was this boy? This boy who saved her. This boy who she spoke of with such familiarity despite the fact that I hadn't seen him once in my involuntary glimpses of her over the past six plus months. This boy with inhuman strength. This boy who evaded me...
Inhuman strength. She'd been near La Push. And there'd been something inhuman there once. Could that could explain...
I leaned in and sniffed her once. That hideous animal smell. Like a wet dog. Exactly how Edward and Rosalie had described it when they'd run into...
"Don't be ridiculous," I muttered to myself. I sniffed her some more. The scent was everywhere. Strong.
But it couldn't be. We hadn't come across any trails. And it hadn't been seven months since we'd left.
"What are you doing?" Bella asked, self-conscious.
"Who was with you out there just now? It sounded like you were arguing."
"Jacob Black."
Black. Ephraim Black, I remembered. Ephraim Black who formed the treaty with Carlisle. My theory was starting to seem more plausible.
"He's... sort of my best friend, I guess." Her face fell. "At least he was..."
I nodded. I was still turning around my theory but I was multi-tasking now. Best friend? Well, that... hurt.
Undeniably, I was jealous, but I could live with that. What agitated me more was what else this boy might be to her. Sort of her best friend? More than that? Less than that?
And why did her face look like that? Pinched with pain and regret. Was their relationship - whatever it was - truly over now?
"What?" Bella demanded when I was quiet too long.
"I don't know," I answered. The treaty bound me - I was not permitted to expose the wolves anymore than they were permitted to expose me - so I kept my theory to myself. "I'm not sure what it means."
"Well, I'm not dead, at least," Bella offered casually.
I rolled my eyes. How could she sound so blasé about this? Insane. The girl was literally insane. "He was a fool to think you could survive alone," I said, carefully avoiding Edward's name this time. "I've never seen anyone more prone to life-threatening idiocy." Perhaps that wasn't entirely honest given how Edward had been going about things...
"I survived," Bella pointed out stubbornly.
She did. Because of this boy. This boy with seemingly inhuman strength...
Would Bella have realized that? What a feat it was that this boy was able to rescue her under impossible circumstances? Was she the one keeping secrets?
"So, if the currents were too much for you, how did this Jacob manage?"
"Jacob is..." She blushed. "Strong."
I held her eyes and she started gnawing on her lip.
"See, well..." Her scratchy voice was too high. "He's sort of a werewolf," she said in a rush. "The Quileutes turn into wolves when there are vampires around. They know Carlisle from a long time ago. Were you with Carlisle back then?"
My jaw dropped. It was true! The wolves were back. After a deep breath, I muttered, "Well, I guess that explains the smell. But does it explain what I didn't see?"
"The smell?" Bella asked, self-conscious again.
"You smell awful," I informed her absently.
Werewolf. Was that Bella's word or the Quileutes'? How strange that they identified with this descriptor... "A werewolf? Are you sure about that?"
"Very sure," she promised, and then she winced making me wonder exactly what made her so very sure. "I guess you weren't with Carlisle the last time there were werewolves here in Forks."
"No. I hadn't found him yet."
What were the odds that the wolves would show up again now? It was just Bella's luck that they would show up when we were no longer here to protect her from them... But wait -
I looked at her, stunned anew. "Your best friend is a werewolf?" Bella knew they were wolves, monsters, and yet she was spending time with them. Forming deep bonds with one of them...
Bella nodded sheepishly.
"How long has this been going on?"
"Not long," she said defensively. "He's only been a werewolf for just a few weeks."
"A young werewolf? Even worse! Edward was right - you're a magnet for danger." Bella winced again when, in my shock, Edward's name slipped out. "Weren't you supposed to be staying out of trouble?"
"There's nothing wrong with werewolves," Bella grumbled, true anger touching her eyes. There was something else in her face. A protectiveness I hadn't seen before. What was that?
"Until they lose their tempers," I scolded her, shaking my head. "Leave it to you, Bella. Anyone else would be better off when the vampires left town. But you have to start hanging out with the first monsters you can find."
Wait until Edward found out. He'd be be horrified. I hoped the news made him feel at least a little bit ridiculous. Leaving because he was a monster only to make room for a more dangerous monster to weasel his way into her life.
"No, Alice," Bella objected. "The vampires didn't really leave - not all of them, anyway. That's the whole trouble. If it weren't for the werewolves, Victoria would have gotten me by now. Well, if it weren't for Jake and his friends, Laurent would have gotten me before she could, I guess, so - "
Could I have a heart attack? It felt like it. "Victoria? Laurent?" I hissed.
"Danger magnet, remember?" Bella pointed to her chest.
"Tell me everything," I ordered. "Start at the beginning."
Oh, this girl. Hiking in the woods by herself when Charlie had told her not to. When she knew some menacing creature was out in the woods. Keeping close company with a pack of mutant wolves - yes, their protection had been necessary, but that could be done from afar. And the cliff. The damn cliff.
And Jacob Black. A whole other sort of problem.
Ephraim Black's great-grandson - the one who broke the treaty last year. She'd gone down to La Push in January to get his help for some truck repairs and it seemed, though she didn't use these words herself, they'd been inseparable ever since.
"We got along well, so I started going down to see him every day. Or he would come up to see me. It was... nice." The corners of her lips turned up. "Jacob was easy to be around. I didn't feel like I had to... pretend...
"Then things got a little... weird. Mike Newton had been bugging me for a while about catching a movie, but I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, you know? So, I made it a group thing. And when I told Jacob I'd be busy that day he seemed bummed, so I invited him, too. Well, it was a bit awkward because only Mike and Jake ended up making it. The flu was going around.
"It turned out Mike had the flu, too. Right in the middle of the movie he had to bolt to the bathroom, so we ended up leaving early. We rolled down the windows on the drive home hoping the cold air would help Mike, but of course it made it freezing. But somehow Jake's skin was warm. Like really warm. I was sure he had a fever, but he said he felt fine."
I blinked twice as she casually describe this guy's skin.
"Normally Jake probably would have stayed for a while - it was still pretty early - but he thought maybe he did have a fever after all. Only he said he didn't feel sick. He said he felt wrong.
"I called Jake's dad Billy to check on him and he sounded off. I offered to come help, but Billy was insistent I stay away. I was going to bring Jake some soup the next day when I got sick."
Going down to his house to help care for him... bringing him soup? Would she have done that for Angela? Jessica? She didn't mention doing that for Mike...
Bella described how Jacob Black had avoided her prompting the solo hike in the woods.
"Well, I didn't expect to see anyone. I wasn't using a trail and I was a good five miles out from where I parked." My expression made her flinch. "Yeah... not the best idea. That was when I ran into Laurent. He just stepped out of the trees like he'd been there all along.
"I was terrified, of course, but also... it's so hard to explain." She paused, biting her lip. "There was some kind of satisfaction in seeing him. Like it had all been real. You don't know how hard it was carrying around everything, all these secrets, and being completely alone in that..."
I frowned sympathetically when her voice broke and rubbed her back.
She gripped my free arm in both hands and took a deep breath. "So Laurent looked almost as surprised to see me as I was to see him. He said he'd gone to Alaska and he'd grown close to Tanya's family, but the diet was hard for him - sometimes he cheated.
"And he said Victoria had sent him to get the lay of the land. She wants revenge for James. She wants to torture and kill me," she said matter-of-factly.
It took all my concentration to stop the vicious snarl building in my chest. I wrapped my arm around Bella protectively, as if Victoria was here now, and hugged her closer to me.
"He'd gone to your house. Said it smelled like it had been vacant for a while. I was trying to convince him that you guys still came around. That Edward" - she winced - "would be angry if something happened to me. Because Laurent's eyes were black. He was hunting when he found me."
Her face twisted tragically and the tears started again. It was only a whisper when she spoke. "He said I must not mean very much to... him if he left me unprotected. Something told me to try to convince him otherwise. But, you know, I'm not a very good liar. And besides, he said, no one would ever find my body."
The rage twisted in my stomach. So much so that I wished Laurent was still alive so I could kill him myself.
"He said it was better this way. He would make it quick. Victoria would never need to know.
"I swear, he was a second from killing me when the wolves showed up. I knew in an instant these must be the bears everyone was talking about. They were the size of bears - well, around." She drew a circle in the air with her finger. "But as tall as horses. Five of them. They terrified me, but I couldn't understand why Laurent was afraid, too. They were only animals.
"I remember thinking how grateful I was that Jacob hadn't hiked with me. Little did I know, he was standing not a foot in front of me."
I shuddered imagining her so close to one of those things, let alone five.
"They chased him and I ran, though it took me forever to get back to my truck, I was so shaken. Scared Charlie half to death when I fessed up to hiking and told him about the wolves."
I shook my head again, sighing loudly.
"I know, I know. He was starting to get really worried about me again, too, because I was waiting for Victoria to come through my window - or Charlie's - and get to that torturing and killing part."
She described vaguely how she'd made up with her friend, both of them in on the secret now.
"It helped, actually, because the wolves had been holding Victoria off. It helped them to know what she was after... though, they haven't caught her yet." Bella shuddered. "I've been spending as much time down at La Push as possible. Jake's been busy running patrols, so I've just been hanging out in Billy's living room or walking down at the beach by myself.
"And then today, I was just so restless. It'd been so long since - since I'd done something... exciting." She fumbled around, trying to find words that wouldn't make her sound insane, I guessed. "I was bored and Jake had promised to take me cliff diving, but something came up. I didn't see any reason why I couldn't manage on my own..." Her voice trailed off under my flat gaze.
"But," she said quickly, changing the subject. "I realized something. When Jake was carrying me away from the beach I saw something strange in the water. It looked like a flame and I couldn't make sense of it. But I think - I think it was her. I think it was Victoria. Because Jake told me he and Sam were following her when she took off into the water. That's why he came back. He was worried because I've been spending so much time on the beach. If he hadn't come back..."
Her heart raced under my eyes, narrowed in fury. Fury at Victoria. At Edward. At myself. It had come so close today.
Bella swallowed loudly. "It was a good thing Jake saved me because Charlie was already having a bad day. His friend Harry - he lived down at La Push, too - he died of a heart attack today."
Yeah, sure, any other day but today Charlie would have been okay losing his daughter. I wanted to shake her.
But at least I could make sense of the visions of the hospital, the funeral home, the cemetery. Quite the coincidence. It was all outrageous enough that I wondered if Edward might forgive me for coming back prematurely. Actually, once he learned about Victoria, he'd be glad I did. Except he wasn't going to be pleased I sent him to Brazil when Victoria was here... No, he would take that very badly.
"Our leaving didn't do you any good at all, did it?" I mused.
She made a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. "That was never the point, though, was it? It's not like you left for my benefit."
It made me sick what he'd done to her. Obstinate bastard. He was so appallingly bad at being in love. An expert at crash and burn. Not that she didn't make an excellent co-pilot.
But it wasn't my job to clear the air, much as I wanted to. He owed it to her to do it himself.
"Well..." I finally said. "I guess I acted impulsively today. I probably shouldn't have intruded."
If I told Edward about Victoria, he would come home. Within twenty-four hours he'd be here. And boy did Bella need him. She needed all of us.
It wasn't that simple, though. He needed to break. He needed to come home for no other reason than that he couldn't stand to be apart from her for one more minute. Otherwise... would he break her again?
As I considered that, Bella's face went white. She dropped my arm which she'd been clutching all this time and both of her trembling hands locked onto the collar of my shirt.
"Don't go, Alice," she begged. "Please don't leave me."
"All. Right. I'm not going anywhere tonight," I promised, enunciating each word. "Take a deep breath."
She nodded a little to herself before engaging in some sort of minimally effective calming technique with her breathing. It appeared to be a ritual for her.
When her heart finally settled, I commented frankly, "You look like hell, Bella."
"I drowned today," she pointed out, dropping her hands from my collar and immediately taking my arm again.
"It goes deeper than that," I argued. "You're a mess."
She flinched, losing the defiant tilt of her chin. "Look, I'm doing my best."
This was her best? "What do you mean?"
"It hasn't been easy," she murmured defensively. "I'm working on it." I couldn't detect a lie in her transparent face. This was really her giving it her all.
That stupid boy. "I told him," I muttered.
"Alice." Her voice was exasperated. "What did you think you were going to find? I mean besides me dead? Did you expect to find me skipping around and whistling showtunes? You know me better than that."
"I do." Better than Edward, at least. "But I hoped."
She cocked her head stiffly, her lips forming a tight, bitter smile. "Then I guess I don't have the corner on the idiocy market."
Well, wasn't she just a sassy thing now? I hoped she gave him some of this attitude when he got back.
I froze, not expecting the abrupt shrill cry of the phone. Panic rose in my chest. Why was I missing things? What was wrong with me?
Bella didn't notice my fresh wave of anxiety. "That has to be Charlie," she said, clumsily getting to her feet. Her hand closed around mine and I let her pull me to the kitchen.
"Charlie?" Bella said into the receiver.
"No, it's me." It was the agitating voice from earlier - the one that had disturbed my grieving. Jacob Black. There was no friendliness in his tone. No tenderness. That was good, at least.
Bella's reaction was not as comforting. Her eyes brightened, then closed. "Jake!" she breathed in acute relief.
"Just making sure you were still alive," he said coldly.
"I'm fine," she insisted. "I told you that it wasn't - "
"Yeah. I got it. Bye." The line went dead.
Dick.
Bella sighed and dropped her head back in defeat. "That's going to be a problem," she told the ceiling.
I could see what was happening here. That my sudden reappearance was threatening the fragile beginnings of the life she was rebuilding.
I squeezed her hand. "They aren't excited I'm here."
"Not especially," she admitted. "But it's none of their business anyway."
I put my arm around her and she drooped, resting her cheek on the top of my head.
"So what do we do now?" I mused, so many threads of the future weaving this way and that in chaotic formation. Another path. Another path brewing in my imagination... "Things to do. Loose ends to tie."
"What things to do?" Bella asked curiously.
I would give her no false hope. So until I had Carlisle's buy-in... "I don't know for sure..." I answered honestly. "I need to see Carlisle."
She went past white this time, her skin taking on a greenish hue. "Could you stay? Please? For just a little while. I've missed you so much." Her desperate voice broke.
Disturbed as I was by her hanging out with Jacob Black, obviously he meant something to her. How much, I wasn't sure. If he was what she wanted, didn't my continued presence put that at risk?
Plus, it had been one thing to violate my promise to Edward when I thought she was dead. But sticking around now, visibly at least, without telling him Victoria was around felt suicidal.
"If you think that's a good idea," I muttered reluctantly.
"I do." She smiled, willfully ignoring my wariness. "You can stay here - Charlie would love that."
"I have a house, Bella," I reminded her.
Her face fell tragically.
It looked like I was moving in, then. "Well, I need to go get a suitcase of clothes, at the very least."
Had she been a vampire, she would have tackled me. As it was, her enthusiastic hug smothered me with her scent.
I angled my head away from her. "And I think I'll need to hunt. Immediately."
"Oops." She dropped her arms and stepped back.
"Can you stay out of trouble for one hour?" I asked, anxious.
I closed my eyes and held up a finger halting Bella's miffed retort.
Bella showers. She heats leftovers while making a bed on the couch for me. I arrive mid meal and Bella abandons her food -
No, that wouldn't work. She was so thin.
I arrive, discretely slipping in the front door. Bella finishes her meal and drinks an absurd amount of water. When her dishes are clean she finds me in the living room...
No one comes for her tonight. Nothing lurks in the shadows around the house.
I opened my eyes, trying to block out the more painful twists of the future after that.
"Yes," I answered my own question. "You'll be fine. For tonight, anyway." I winced.
"You'll come back?" Her small voice teetered on the edge of hope and despair.
"I promise - one hour."
She checked the time on the kitchen clock, ready to hold me to my word. Or perhaps she just wanted to know at which point she should panic.
I laughed. Holding my breath, I kissed her cheek and darted out the backdoor in search of relief.
Okay. So I'd really muddied things up today.
My head grappled with the tangled threads as I hunted the closest prey I could find.
Edward was still holding on and I couldn't let him come back here prematurely. He had to be decimated. He had to fail.
But Victoria... the wolves...
It wasn't safe for Bella here. It was good I'd come back. It was our obligation to protect her.
If I told the others, though... would they tell Edward, bringing him back too soon?
And then there was the matter of what Bella wanted.
Jacob Black. Who was this guy to her really? She'd never spoken of any of her friends that way... Had Edward been right? Had she moved on? I mean, she wasn't doing well... obviously Edward still meant something to her, but still, this other guy...
Was he somehow better for her? Would Edward consider this monster suitable?
Watching Edward stubbornly refuse to change her, I knew I'd become stubborn, too. Stubbornly refusing to consider that a human life was better for her... but I loved her and I had to consider that if this boy was important to her...
I shuddered. No. Edward needed her. Our whole family did. We all crumbled without that missing puzzle piece. And she'd held on to him so tightly. I could see that in her eyes.
So... I could leave, promising her I'd see her soon, while secretly watching over her and guarding against Victoria. I'd tell Jasper she's still alive...
Bella's eyes are dead. She goes to school, she goes to work, she screams at night. Charlie's sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. His face is wet with tears... Jasper and Carlisle are not pleased - they still don't know about Victoria - and they think I'm spending all my time with Bella. Edward finds out and I have to go into hiding...
No. I wouldn't hurt her like Edward did. I could "visit." Every weekend while still continuing to watch over her. And I'd tell everyone except Edward what was happening...
The information about the wolves and Victoria changes everything. Of course Bella must be protected, but there's no way Jasper is letting me do it alone and Emmett would not miss his shot at her. Carlisle and Esme will also want to rush to Bella's aide, but they will insist on telling Edward, even when I explain why we shouldn't tell him. Plus Charlie's confused... I'm visiting every weekend from LA? Edward finds out and I have to go into hiding...
Okay. I could take Bella away. I'd tell Jasper I'm doing more research on my family...
Charlie is devastated. Bella is nervous and confused. She's still sad... Is it because of this Jacob? Edward decides to return to Forks. I have to call him to give him a heads up... and then I have to go into hiding...
But if I didn't rush into anything... if I went with a just-wait-and-see approach...
Another path.
Carlisle and Esme return from their hunting trip and learn that Bella is dead. They're devastated for Bella and they know this is bad for Edward. I let Carlisle marinate in his anguish and then I call. I tell Carlisle what I saw if we had told Edward Bella was dead and Carlisle believes me. I tell him Bella's alive, but if she stays human, it's only a matter of time. She will die someday, and then so will Edward. I tell him that Edward will return, but he will refuse to change Bella...
So, I tell Carlisle that I intend to change her. He's rightly afraid for my control... he considers changing her himself. He's torn, though. Edward will not forgive quickly or easily if we change her behind his back but at the same time, he would be happy...
Rosalie can't know. She'll tell Edward, so we keep her and Emmett out of it.
We call Edward. Our family is in trouble. He rushes to the address we give him... an isolated house somewhere.
He's confused when he gets to the house. He can't hear our thoughts, but our scent is here. He rushes through the door, worried something has happened to us...
And she's there.
Bella bites her lip, studying his frozen form.
His eyes are wide, horrified.
"Hi, Edward," she says in a small voice.
Swallowing, he finds the words. "Bella?" he breathes. "What happened to you? Who did this to you?" From the anger flashing in his eyes, he has a guess.
"This was my choice," she explains carefully, trying to protect us. "I wanted this."
His face is hard. "Where are they?" he demands.
Pain washes over her face. "They stepped out for a moment."
He softens and steps closer. "What's wrong?"
Her ruby eyes are full of anguish but she grits her teeth, collecting herself. "You still don't want me," she finally whispers.
Stunned at her conclusion, his mouth falls open. He shakes his head sharply until he can find the words. "I want you, Bella. I've always wanted you." He takes her into his arms and it's a very long time before, breathless, they break apart again.
He needs some time - time they make good use of - but eventually we're able to return without violence and we're one big happy family again.
This.
A/N: Up next... a little more Alice. Thanks for reading!