"You only ever realize how much you fucked up when things are already too late..."

Those words manage to make my mind go blank.

It was way past midnight. And as an asian boy with strict asian parents. Usually my father or mother would've entered my room by now. Catching wind of my illegal acts of pulling an all nighter.

But they were fast asleep.

And here I was. Chatting my friends.

I was part of a group chat called me and the boys.

A small group of six people. All who were my classmates and friends at school.

And we were all going through mental shits.

Depression was starting to catch up to us.

Our chat fell silent. Knowing my friends and myself. We're all staring at the screen. With sad frowns lacing our faces.

Lars was the semi black dude in our group of six. His skin color was a deep shade of brown.

Lars was a great guy. Funny and all that jazz. He once laughed at depression. Thinking it won't affect him.

But oh how the turns have tabled.

We all got depressed one way or another.

Always having existencial crisises at some point of the day.

I myself...

Have it worse than some of my friends.

"Leif you're so cute! Leif you're so good looking!" Words that my parents said to me when I was young.

My head got big. In reality. I was really smart. Already fluent in the english language at third grade.

English was my second language.

I could easily understand stuff.

But highschool came. I got into a highschool that was know for it's high academic reputation.

It was there that I became normal.

People more outstanding than me popped up like pesky moles.

I wanted to be the best. But I was pushed to the bottom.

It was there that I accepted that I'm not any smart ass. I was just a mediocre person.

I was humbled. And taught humility.

Found a few friends and laughed while getting into trouble together.

Going to the canteen despite having classes.

Heh...

I myself have become the greatest thief in the classroom.

The legendary ballpen thief.

Cause why should I buy ballpens when I can loot it unnoticed.

90% of the class' missing ballpens fell into my hands.

I didn't go loot their bags.

I looted their pockets.

A classmate would pass by me and I would smile.

A second later, the ballpen sitting at their breast pocket was already in my pocket.

And since I have one of my buddies with me.They're the ones that get blamed.

Ah good times.

But sometimes. I couldn't help but dream of becoming someone great.

Someone famous and loved.

My family and friends all love me.

But I wanted the masses to look up to me. And be inspired.

I wanted to be rich and famous.

And be handsome.

Buuuut I can't be handsome.

I have wonderful phoenix eyes. Having eyelashes that my girl classmates are envious of.

I had a good symetrical face.

And I wasn't fat or anything.

But I have big puffy lips. Thick lips women would kill to get.

And my body is..

Just thin.

And no matter how much I eat. I never get fat.

Two plates of food per four meals a day.

How am I not dead yet with all that gluttony?

I looked at my noodle arms and pinched them.

I'm bony. My arms thin yet having enough meat to not be considered malnourished.

Jesus.

How can I be a hot hunk if I have no muscles?

I can easily solve that by exercising.

But I'm lazy.

Sorry about that.

Yet the only thing I can't change. Is my height.

I'm a 17 year old boy. Yet my height is stuck at 5'4 inches tall.

"You stop growing after reaching 18 years of age." My sister's statement greatly horrified me.

I wanted to be tall, dark, and mysterious goddamnit.

Can't be helped.

Atleast I can play terraria.

With me and the boys.

Playing master mode on the seed for the worthy which makes even a slime, the weakest enemy. Two shot you if you have zero armor.

We all scream and rage together. And the map is now full of gravestones from our deaths.

I'm happy with that. Atleast we beat the moonlord together after days of tears and blood.

"I swear to god I play too much terraria. After I die I probably would get reincarnated into terraria." Lars messaged the group chat again to get rid of the gloomy mood.

I chuckled to that.

"What class would you take then If you do get reincarnated?"

"Bruh I wasn't done yet."

"I reincarnated in terraria as the moonlord. How do I get the terrarians to stop trying to kill me?"

Ah great. So we're talking about japanese novel titles now.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

Footsteps rang beyond my room's closed door.

Fuck!

I pressed alt tab at the speed of light.

Showing a second opened chrome in incognito.

A heart full of anxiety. I started closing opened tabs.

Monster Girl Quest Wikipedia.

Monster Girl Encyclopedia Wikipedia.

Terraria Zoologist was a mistake

The tabs were embarrassing. But I have good reasons why I was looking at those nsfw stuff!

And I pressed my computer's monitor. Making it look like it's shut down.

Click! Hurriedly turned off the lights.

And jumped into bed. Pretending to be asleep.

Creak~

The door swung slightly open.

I could hear the footsteps grow close and halt.

And I could faintly see through the thin blanket covering me. A tall figure looking down at me.

It was father.

He was the only tall person in the house.

Father stared at me eerily. His tall unrecognizable dark frame looked like a sleep paralysis demon from under the bed.

Please go away dad. I'm already asleep see?

I'm definitely not awake and is pretending to be asleep.

"Good child. Finally asleep."

He mumbled. Turned to leave as the door closed behind him.

It was the cue to get out of bed and continue procrastinating.

I was experienced in stealth. Stealing and trickery.

I didn't leave bed yet. I just laid there on my back.

A few minutes later. The door opened again.

"You really are asleep. Lucky you. I don't have to use the belt."

I sweated under the blanket.

Good lord. I just evaded a disaster.

That's the fifth time I nearly got punished this week.

Father left.

And I waited for a few more minutes and hopped back onto the pc once the coast was clear.

"Lars your internet still sucks right?" It was now tent. Tent sendjng messages in the group chat.

He was the musician of our group. Somewhat famous but we don't envy him.

He knows how to sing. Is rich. And could play a lot of musical instruments.

But he's a chill dude.

"My internet... Is a turtle... Goddamnit Tent." Lars raged.

Yeah these past few days we couldn't play terraria or minecraft due to Lar's sucky net.

Playing with one of us missing just feels empty.

I looked at the time.

1 am.

Gotta sleep then.

I turned off the pc after wishing them goodnight and laid down on the bed while covering myself in a blanket.

The door opened again.

It was father again.

What the fuck?

"My father senses are tingling. Someone's not asleep."

Shit!

I just fainted out of sheer shock and anxiety.

Everything fell into darkness.