"So it's all settled then?" Snape said, as they walked along the grand corridor of Malfoy Manor.
"Yes it is" replied Lucius Malfoy, as they rounded a corner "we just need to clarify it one last time with the Dark Lord".
"If it's done, the Ministry's ours" returned Snape knowingly, as he opened the door to the dining room.
"It's only a matter of time, Dumbledore's already dead–" Lucius stopped mid-sentence as both of them entered the dining room, and to the utter surprise of both of them, took in the entire scene.
Voldemort was sat at the head of the long, dining table, his hands on both of it's edge as though it were as thrown, and–that wouldn't have surprised the two Death Eaters if it hadn't been for none other than Bellatrix Lestrange to be crouched at his foot, nail polish on either side of her.
Malfoy and Snape walked a little forward a bit reluctantly, and witnessed such a thing which they dared not mention to anyone else.
Bellatrix was painting the Dark Lord's nails!
Severus didn't know whether to laugh or not, he would have never–ever–believed it possible for–for the Dark Lord to get his nails painted!
None of them had seen them come in. Lucius and Snape looked at each other, and were ready to run away from the room as fast as they could, when the darkest wizard of all times looked up and addressed them.
"Ah, Lucius, and Severus, how do my nails look?" and he held out his hands, and showed them the painted black nails on the whitish skin. It was quite hideous, but of course, they couldn't say the truth, or they as well be dead. Snape had never been more relieved by the knowledge that he could do Occlumency than he was now.
"It looks brilliant, My Lord" he lied smoothly.
"Doesn't it? I painted them all by myself. Do you like it, Master?" Bellatrix asked, looking dreamily up at Voldemort.
"Yes, I do like it Bella" he replied, and Bellatrix glowed. Severus thought that was rather pathetic.
"Now, I've work for you both" said Voldemort lazily, and Lucius and Snape readied themselves for whatever important task they were to receive, but then–
"I want you both to get me bright green robes, and high heels. And tell Narcissa to bring me her makeup bag".
Lucius' mouth fell open. Snape nudged him, and he closed it back. He cleared his throat and said "But about the Ministry, My Lord–"
"Just do what I say" Voldemort hissed back irritatedly. Lucius gave Snape another look before he hurried out of the room to get his wife's stuff.
Snape looked around the room, and transfigured a curtain into a bright green robe. He sighed. If he had known this was what he had to do, he would've jumped from that tower with Dumbledore that night.
By the time Lucius got back with the makeup bag, and the owner herself, Voldemort was dressed in the green robes.
"Oh My Lord, you look so handsome" Bella cooed, staring at him with such an expression which made Narcissa wanting to slap her sister.
"Narcissa, do my makeup" Voldemort ordered.
"My-my Lord, are you sure–"
"Did I stutter?" Voldemort said coldly, glaring at her. "I must look presentable before I go to kill the Minister".
Narcissa went grudgingly to do as she was told, she dared not defy him.
It took a while for her to finish the makeup, but after it was done, she didn't know what in the world costed her to hold her laughter back.
Yellow and orange eyeshadow on the white skin, with the little touch of pink blush on the cheeks, it was hideous to look at. She thought she heard snickering behind her. Fuck Lucius and Snape, they weren't the ones who did anything. She held up the mirror in front of the Dark Lord and he looked in it.
"Ah, you made me recall my school days" said Voldemort softly, tracing his lips. "I used to get a lot complimented on how I was the handsomest in my year. But after the transformation, I don't look anything better than a crumpled egg".
Narcissa gasped, Lucius hid behind Snape to hide his laughter, and Bella cried "My dear Lord, that isn't true! Whoever told you that shall be killed!"
"Then you'll have to kill me, because I said it" said Voldemort, his eyes flashing.
"Er–" stuttered Bella, smiling nervously "of course not My Lord. You're right, you don't look so good right now".
"Excuse me, do you mean to say that I'm ugly?" screamed Voldemort, advancing on her.
"What? My Lord, oh no!" cried Bella, looking mortified. "I mean, you were handsome back then, but you're still good looking enough".
"Exactly" Voldemort said, satisfied. He turned to look at the other three in the room, and they straightened themselves just in time.
"You" he said, pointing lazily to Snape, "do something with your hair, it looks as though it hasn't been washed for ages".
Snape set his jaw, and behind him, Lucius doubled up with silent laughter. Narcissa elbowed her husband, even though her own lips were twitching.
"Look who's speaking" Snape muttered, hoping Voldemort wouldn't hear. But he did.
"How dare you?!" shrieked Voldemort. "Just because I don't have hair doesn't–doesn't–" he stopped, drawing a sharp breath. He pointed his wand at Snape and flicked it.
Narcissa shrieked and toppled on her gown, Lucius caught her just in time, staring at horror at Snape's head. It was shaved. Bellatrix was laughing like mad, and Snape put up his hands to his head and uttered a soft cry.
"My Lord!" he gasped.
"That's what you get for bullying me" said Voldemort savagely.
"I wasn't bullying you, Master!" Snape protested indignantly.
"Whatever, now come on. We have errands to run" said Voldemort, losing interest.
"But, how can I go like this?" cried Severus.
"You can black paint your head" suggested Lucius, struggling to control his laughter. Snape gave him a very ugly look.
"Fuck yourself" he said.
"Language Snape" Lucius drawled.
"If you can have that!" Snape cried, and he vanished Lucius' hair too, by pointing his wand at him.
What happened next was an uproar. Lucius shrieked, and lunged at Severus, Narcissa tried to stop them, Bellatrix cried with mirth, and Voldemort raised the mirror to check himself, ignoring his current surroundings.
"C'mon" Voldemort hissed, and checking himself one last time in the mirror, marched out of the room, leaving Snape and Malfoy trying to strangle each other, Cissy pulling her husband back by the hem of his robes, and Bella rolling with laughter on the floor, clutching her stomach.
A/N: No, pls don't ask me from where I got this idea from. I– *laughs like hell*It was from a convo I had with my bestie, and yeah.Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, and that I was able to make you laugh. Do comment!See you soon.~Nat