If you recognize it, then I probably don't own it

Chapter 5: Imprint

"Are you okay, Jake? Dad said you were having a hard time…is it getting any better?"

His arm hand curled around mind, "'S not so bad," he said, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.

He walked slowly back to the driftwood bench, staring at the rainbow-colored pebbles, and pulling me along at his side. I wondered if it was so he could hide his face more easily. He kept my hand in his.

"You didn't tell me, how is everyone? Aside from being a butthead, how is Sam—and Emily? Did Quil—?"

I broke off mid-sentence, remembering Quil's terrified expression about being next.

"Ah, Quil," Jake sighed.

So it happened—Quil joined the pack.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

Jake snorted, "Don't say that to him."

"What do you mean?"

"Quil's not looking for a pity party. Just the opposite—he's jazzed. Totally thrilled."

This made no sense. All the other wolves had been so depressed at the idea of their friend sharing their fate. And Quil had been just as terrified as becoming one of them before he even knew he what they were. "About what?"

Jake titled his head back to look at me. He smiled his it's-all-good-smile and rolled his eyes.

"Quil thinks it's the coolest thing that's ever happened. Part of it is finally knowing what's going on. And he's excited to have his friends back—to be part of the pack" Jake snorted again, "Shouldn't be surprised, I guess. It's so Quil."

"He likes it?"

"Honestly…most of them do," Jacob admitted slowly. "There are definitely good sides to this—the speed, the freedom, the strength…the sense of—of family… Sam and I are the only ones who ever really felt bitter. And Sam got past that a long time ago. So I'm the crybaby now." Jake laughed at himself.

There were so many things I wanted to know. "Why and you and Sam different? What happened to Sam anyway? What's his problem? Aside from with me."

"That's a long story." Jake laughed.

"Tradesies!" I insisted with a grin, "I gave you a long story, and you have to give me one. Besides, I'm not in a hurry to get back."

He looked up at me swiftly, hearing the double edge of my words. "Will he be mad at you?"

"Probably," I admitted, "He really hates it when I do things he considers risky."

"Like hanging out with werewolves."

"And wearing socks on wood floors—I'll break my neck tripping."

"So don't go back. Sleep next to me in my bed."

"That's a great idea," I said enthusiastically, "And when he comes looking for me?"

Jacob stiffened, and then smiled bleakly. "Would he?"

"No doubt in my mind."

"My idea's sounding better all the time."

"Jake, please, stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop being so ready to kill him. It drives me insane! You know how I feel about you and him. I don't want either of you to die—or be hurt."

"Is he ready to kill me?" Jacob asked with a grim smile, unconcerned by my frustration.

"Yes, he is!" I yelled, "And the only reason won't is because he knows that hurting you will hurt me! Which you don't seem to care about at all!"

"Yeah, right," Jacob muttered. "I'm sure he's quite the pacifist."

I ripped my hand out of his and shoved him away. Then I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them.

I glared out toward the horizon, fuming.

Jacob was quiet for a few minutes. Finally, he got up of the ground and sat beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders. I shook him off.

"Sorry," he said quietly, "I'll behave myself."

I sucked my teeth at him.

"Do you still want to hear about Sam?" he offered.

"Yes."

"Like I said, it's a long story. And very…strange. There's so many strange things about his new life. I haven't had time to tell you the half of it. And this thing with Sam—well, I don't know if I'll even be able to explain it right."

I nudged him with my elbow, "Keep going."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the side of his face pull up in a smile.

"Sam had it so much harder than the rest of us. Because he was he first, and he was alone, and he didn't have anyone tell him what was happening. Sam's grandfather died before he was born, and his father has never been around. There was no one there to recognize the signs. The first time it happened—the first time he phased—he thought he'd gone insane. It took him two weeks to calm down enough to change back.

"This was before you came to Forks, so you wouldn't remember. Sam's mother and Leah Clearwater had the forest rangers searching for him, the police. People thought there had been an accident or something…"

"Leah?" I asked. Leah was Harry's daughter. Hearing her name sent an automatic surge of sadness through me. Harry Clearwater, Dad's life-long friend, had died of a heart attack this past spring.

His voice changed, becoming heavier. "Yeah. Leah and Sam were high school sweethearts. They started dating when she was just a freshman. She was frantic when he disappeared."

"But he and Emily—"

"Be patient, Mir." He said. He inhaled slowly, and then exhaled in a gust.

It was weird to imagine that Sam had ever loved anyone before Emily. I vaguely remembered Leah mentioning Sam last year when I had first moved to Forks. It was just that I had seen Sam with Emily, and I couldn't imagine him with her. The way he looked at her…well, it reminded me of a look I'd seen sometimes in Jacob's eyes (when he thought I wasn't looking). And Edward's eyes all the time when he was looking at me.

"Sam came back," Jacob said, "but he wouldn't talk about where he'd been. Rumors flew—that he was up to no good, mostly. And then Sam happened to run into Quil's grandfather one afternoon when Old Quil Ateara came to visit Mrs. Uley. Sam shook his hand. Old Quil just about had a stroke." Jake paused to laugh.

"Why?"

Jake put his hand on my cheek and pulled my face to look at him once again. He was leaning toward me, his face jut inches away. His palm burned my skin, like he had a fever. His lips grazed mine, gently… imploring me to understand.

"Oh, right." I said, blushing. It was odd, having our faces so close. Our lips touching gently, every time we exhaled or spoke. "He was burning up."

Jake laughed again. "Sam's hand felt like he'd slammed it on a stovetop after being told not to."

He was so close, I could feel his warm breath.

"I shouldn't have told you that," I said softly, my lip till grazing his.

He smiled and leaned back, moving hand to mine, and entangling our fingers.

"So Mr. Ateara went straight to the other elders," Jake went on. "They were the only ones left who still knew, who remembered. Mr. Ateara, Billy, and Harry had actually seen their grandfathers make the change. When Old Quil told them, they met with Sam secretly and explained.

"It was easier when he understood—when he wasn't alone anymore. They knew he wouldn't be the only one affected by the Cullens' return"—he said their name bitterly—"but no one else was old enough. So Sam waited for the rest of us to join him…"

"They had no idea… they didn't think werewolves existed here anymore. They didn't coming back would start it again."

"It doesn't change the fact that it did."

"No it doesn't." I agreed.

"I wish I could be as forgiving as you."

"I'm not forgiving, Jake. I'm just growing up."

"I wish I could," he mumbled quietly.

"What?" I reacted without thinking.

Jake chuckled. "One of those strange things I mentioned."

"You can't grow up." I said blankly, "You're not aging?"

"Nope." He popped his lips on the P.

"I hope you get wet dreams forever!" I growled at him.

Jacob squeezed my fingers between his, "What's wrong with not aging? None of us are."

"I am the only one whose future is in the shitter. I am the only one who gets closer to dying with every breath and every day. And you get abs forever? Where's the justice!"

"If you'd let me finish—" he put his other hand in mine—"I will get older…someday."

"So you won't have abs forever?"

He gave me Jake trademarked it's-all-good-smile, "No I'll have them forever. It's just when we get enough control to quit… When he stop phasing for a solid length of time, we age again. It's not easy. It's gonna take a really long time to learn that kind of restraint, even Sam's not there yet. 'Course it doesn't help that there's quite a huge coven of vampire's right down the road. We can't even think about quitting when the tribe needs protectors. But you shouldn't start cursing me, anyway, because I'm already older than you, at least physically."

"What hell are you talking about?"

"Do I look seventeen, Mir?"

I glanced up and down his mammoth frame, trying to be unbiased and unattracted to him. "No. I guess not."

"Because we reach full growth inside a few months when the werewolf gene gets triggered. It's one hell of a growth spurt. Physically, I'm probably twenty-five or something. So there's no need for you to freak out about you being too old for me. For at least seven years."

Twenty-five or something. The growth spurt where he'd shoot up and filled out right before my eyes. How he'd looked different one day to the next.

"So do you want to hear about Sam or feel my abs?"

"Abs." I said out of the corner of my mouth.

Jake's eyebrows shot up, and he looked as if he was trying to decide how to go forward.

"Ugh, you can't take a joke." I squeezed his fingers with mine. "So once Sam understand what was happening and he didn't feel alone anymore. You said there were cool parts. And why does Sam hate them? Why does he think we should be hate twins?"

Jacob sighed and untangled his fingers from mine. "This is the weird part."

"I love weird stuff." I pushed some hair behind my ears. "Did I tell you about this werewolf I know?"

He grinned, "A werewolf? You'll tell me later. And you're right. Same knew what was going on, and everything was almost back to normal. Well, not normal, but better." Then his expression tightened, like something painful was coming. "Sam couldn't tell Leah. We aren't supposed to tell anyone who doesn't have to know. And it wasn't really safe for him to be around her—but he cheated, just like I did with you. And she was furious that he wouldn't tell her what was going on—where he'd been, where he went at night, why he was always so exhausted-but they were working it out…or at least trying. They really loved each other."

"Did she believe him, like I did with you?"

He shook his head. "No. That wasn't the problem. Her cousin, Emily Young came to visit from the Makah reservation one weekend."

"Emily and Leah are related!" I gasped.

"Second cousins. They're close, though. They were like sisters when they were little."

"How could Sam…?" do exactly what I was doing.

"Don't judge him yet. Have you ever heard of imprinting?"

"Imprinting?" I repeated, "Like when a baby duck sees its mom for the first time?"

"Kind of. It's one of the really good things we get. Well, not everyone. In fact, it's the rare exception, not the rule. Sam heard all the stories by then, and used to think they were legends… we all did. He never dreamed he'd…"

Jake's eyes strayed to the ocean. "Sam loved Leah, he did. But when he saw Emily, that didn't matter anymore. Sometimes…we're not sure why…we find our mates that way." His eyes flashed back to me, his face reddening. "I mean…our soul mates."

"So…it's love at first sight?" I asked carefully.

Jake nodded, his beautiful dark eyes analyzing my reaction. "It's a little bit more than that. More absolute."

"Sorry. What's absolute about it?"

"Love at first sight? But more powerful. It's not easy to explain. It doesn't matter anymore. You wanted to know what happened to Sam, and now you do. He hates the vampires for changing him, for making him break every promise he made to Leah. For making him break her heart. For seeing the accusation in her eyes, and know that she's right. He hates them for making him hate himself."

He stopped talking abruptly, as if he'd something he wasn't supposed to.

"How does Emily deal with all this? If she and Leah were…sisters." Sam and Emily had been two pieces of a puzzle that were so close to fitting, but just didn't fit perfectly. Had Emily been okay with betraying Leah, did she even feel like she was betraying Leah.

"She was really angry, in the beginning. But I don't what changed her mind. Maybe it's hard to resist that level of commitment and adoration." Jake sighed, "And then, Sam, could tell her everything. There are no rules that mind you when you find your other half. I mean you know how she got hurt."

"Yeah." The story in Forks was she had been in a nasty car accident. Supposedly, her car had been t-boned and her car flipped into the woods. Branches and glass were supposed to have carved her face and body. But I was in on the truth.

Werewolves are unstable; Edward had said. The people near them get hurt.

"Well, weirdly enough, that was sort what made him and Emily resolve things. He was so horrified at himself, and so willing to throw himself under a bus, and so full of hate for what he'd done…he kind of went overboard making her feel better. Like cleaning everything top to bottom, cleaning her stitches and changing her gauze, making her food, driving her appointments and stuff. Paid for her medical bills too. He was shattered…then, she thanked him for helping her. She was talking to him. And they realized they had everything…"

Jake didn't finish his thought, and I knew the story had gotten to personal to share.

"That sucks for everyone."

"Yeah, and Leah got the worst of it." He agreed, "She puts on a brave face, she's going to be a bridesmaid."

I gazed away, toward the jagged rocks that rose from the ocean like the tips of fingers on the south rim of the harbor, while I tried to think of something to say. I could feel his eyes on my face, waiting for me to say something.

"Did…did it happen to you?" I asked, finally, still looking away. "This love-at-first-sight-soul-mate thing."

"Yeah…" he said softly. So soft I barely heard him. "Just me, Sam, and Jared."

I felt my stomach drop and my heart shatter into a million pieces. Shards launched themselves in my throat, behind my eyes, my ears, all over. He couldn't be mine, ever… there was no mystical connection between the two of us, there never would be. Our relationship might have been twisted at the root, but there wasn't an us. Just a twist of confusion…nothing more.

He was quiet too, and the silence felt unbearable. I didn't want to hear what he was thinking…if he was thinking about her. But if he had this perfect girl, and he loved her, and she was his soulmate… I wanted. No, I needed to know what made her so special. And why he still kissed me…unless he was just trying to make Edward crazy. And only spending time with me fulfilling his promise to protect me from Victoria. If he would completely fuck off when they got her.

I took a shaky breath, "What's she like?"

He gave me an odd look before turning back to the harbor. "She's…smart, funny"—he licked his lips—"Really impulsive, but it's kind of nice, 'cause she's not boring." I could hear him smile as he spoke, "She's…she can drive me insane sometimes, but in a good way…she's so focused on not needing me that she kind of, I don't know, she doesn't let me clean up her messes. It's nice that she's so responsible. Stubborn to hell and back, though."

The shards dug in, cutting me from the inside. "Is…she pretty?"

He sucked his teeth, "Mir."

"No, Jake, I want to know. I need to know if she has a snaggletooth and I can't make any snaggletooth jokes about her. I don't want to be surprised when I met her."

"You want to meet her?"

I shrugged, the shards twisting. "If you want me to." I smiled weakly at him.

He let out a large sigh, "She's…the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

I wanted to cry over losing him. But the way he described it, he wasn't mine to lose. Only hers to gain.

"What about Jared?" I was quick to change the subject. "How did it work out for him?"

"No drama there. It was just a girl he'd sat next to in school every day for a year and never looked at twice. And then, after he changed, he saw her again and never looked away. Kim was thrilled. She'd had a huge crush on him. She'd had his last name tacked on the end of hers all over her diary." He laughed.

"Did Jared say you could laugh?" I frowned.

"I guess I shouldn't laugh, but it's funny."

"Some soulmate."

He sighed, "Jared didn't tell us anything intentionally. Remember, I already went over this part."

"Okay mind reader." I mocked.

"Just like your vampire." He glowered back.

"Edward." I reminded, "But it doesn't explain how you know all the stuff about Sam and Emily."

"The same way I know about Jared and Kim. It's not like Sam would have told us if he'd had a choice. Actually, that's another thing Sam hates, all of us do." He said bitterly, "It's awful. No privacy, no secrets. Everything you're ashamed of, laid out for everyone to see." He shuddered.

"It sounds awful."

"It is helpful sometimes when we need to coordinate," he said grudgingly. "Once in a blue moon, when some bloodsucker crosses into our territory. Laurent was fun. And if the Cullen's hadn't gotten in our way last Saturday… ugh!" he groaned. "We could have had her!"

I flinched. As much as I worried about Jasper or Emmett getting hurt, it was nothing like the panic I felt at the idea of Jake going against Victoria. And it was combined with a new fear…when he got her…because Jake would get her… would I even see him again. Or would his soulmate—whoever she was—not let him see me. Would she dominate all his time? Would he even be allowed to be my friend? And Jake wasn't indestructible like Jasper and Emmett. Jake was warm and human. Mortal like me. I shuddered.

Jacob looked at me with a curious expression. "But isn't it like that for you all the time? Having him in your head?"

"He wishes."

Jake's face contorted in confusion.

"He can't hear me, not really," I explained. "Only bits and pieces and only some times. Like a word here and there. I'm the only one like that, for him. We don't know why though."

"Weird."

"Yeah. Probably means there's something wrong with me."

"I already knew that." Jake muttered.

I couldn't help but laugh at that.

The sun broke through the clouds then, a surprise I hadn't been expecting, and I had to narrow my eyes against the glare off the water. Everything changed color—the waves went from grey to blue, the trees from a dull olive to a brilliant jade, and the rainbow pebbles glittered like jewels.

We squinted for a moment, letting our eyes a just. There was no sound except for the waves, the soft grinding of the stones against each other under the water, and the cry of the gulls overhead. It was an oasis in time.

Jacob and I settled closer to each other, he was so warm. After a second, I shrugged out of my rain jacket. He made a little sound of contentment in the back of his throat, and rested his cheek on the top of my head. I could feel the sun on my skin—though it wasn't as warm as Jacob. And then I felt guilt, here we were in our little oasis, next to each other, as he had some girl waiting for him…some perfect girl.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked me.

"Her…" I said.

"The red head?"

"No."

"Oh…" He let out a breath, "I wouldn't worry about her."

Probably because she's so much better than me in so many other ways.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

He chuckled to himself. "I was remembering that moronic movie you took me to. And Mike Newton puking over everything."

I laughed, too, surprised by how much time had passed. So much had changed that night… it was the last night before Jake and I had learned the truth about his heritage. The last oddly pleasant memory now.

"I miss that," Jacob said. "The way it used to be so easy… uncomplicated. I'm glad I've got a good memory." He sighed.

I tensed at his words as he accidentally triggered a memory for me.

"What is it?" He asked.

"About that memory of yours…" I pulled away from him so I could read his face. At the moment, it was confused. "Do you mind telling me what you were doing Monday morning? You were thinking something that bothered Edward." Bothered wasn't quite right word for it, but I wanted an answer. Edward wasn't livid either, but he was perturbed? If that was a real word.

Jacob's face brightened with understanding, and he laughed. "I was thinking about you and me. Didn't like that much, did he?"

"You and me? What were we doing in your memory?"

Jacob laughed, with a harder edge, "I was remembering one of the times we slept together. How you looked under me…and on top of me. I like those memories, whether we were in my room or yours. I bet you don't even realize how much of a goddess you are no matter position you're in. And it wasn't my fault that he left. So I figured I'd show him what he missed."

I smacked his shoulder, "Jacob Black, you fucking bastard! How dare you! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"Well, it wasn't like you didn't enjoy yourself when it happened. And I haven't had that much fun in months"

I smacked him, this time across the face.

"You're being a piece of shit bastard—" I got to my feet and he caught my hand as I tried to walk away.

"I'm sorry, Mir," He said looking at our hands. "I didn't mean to upset you…I just wanted him to feel bad. I won't do it again."

"I'm still leaving." I tried to tug my hand free.

"No, don't go yet," he protested, his hand tightening around mine. "I mean it. I'm sorry. I swear I won't do it again."

I sighed. "Good."

"Come on, we'll go back to my house," he said eagerly, "And I'll show you this car I'm rebuilding."

"Actually… I really do need to go. Angela Weber is expecting, and I'm sure Alice is not happy that I haven't reappeared yet."

"But you just got here!"

"I know," I agreed, staring at our shadows. The sun was directly overhead casting our shadows just beneath us. How had time passed so quickly? I looked back at him.

His eyebrows pulled down over his eyes. "I need to see you again," he said in a hurt voice.

"I'll come back soon," I promised.

"Tomorrow," he insisted.

"When I can. And if you can't be nice, I won't come back at all." I threatened and promised. I tried to pull my hand free once more.

He refused to let go.

"Mir, I promise I won't do it again." His face was concerned, sincere, like he knew he made a huge fuck up he needed to fix.

"And I promise to come back, but if you do that shit again—I don't care if you need a fucking yardstick for your weird fucking werewolf vampire dick measuring contest. It's irrelevant. You're Jake and he's Edward. You both hate each other, and you're not gonna use me as a fucking weapon."

His eyes narrowed slightly, "You know I'm bigger."

"Is that my fucking point?" I shouted, exasperated.

He raised his eyebrows, measuring my expression with curious eyes. Finally, he shrugged.

"I agree to your terms. You're Mir, I'm Jake, he's whatever, and I won't use you as a weapon to hurt him. Because that just hurts you." He smiled at me, the warm it's-all-good smile I loved so much.

I felt an answering smile spread across my face as I saw the sincerity in his promise.

"I really missed you, Jake." I admitted.

"Me too," his smile widened. His eyes were happy and clear, free for once of any anger or bitterness. "More than you know. Come back as soon as you can."

"As soon as I can," I promised.

…

Happy NEW YEAR! I can't believe Jake imprinted. I wonder on who!