Perfectly burnt Pancakes

Gaara woke on his day off with three things completely off. One: He was neither wrapped in nor snuggled up against his husband, who also had the day off. Two: His normally smoke-free dim bedroom was now blanketed in a thick coat of foul-smelling smog. And the last final thing, the fire alarm was screaming bloody murder so loud that the neighbors will probably complain later in the afternoon. With a sigh, Gaara begrudgingly got up from bed, grabbing a nearby magazine on his way out. The noise outside was deafening, and the smoke was ten times worse. With a couple coughs, he waved the magazine in front of the alarm until the noise stopped. Looking at the smoke, it wasn't black like a fire which only meant one thing. Gaara made his way down the hallway, following the smoke trail to the kitchen. There stood Neji in front of the stove, reading his IPad with brows furrowed and a full frown. Long brown hair tied in a bun which was never a good sign. He was tapping his finger on the counter repeatedly, which he only did when he didn't understand something. The source of the smoke was directly in front of him, vomiting white smog profusely into the air.

Now Gaara loved his husband. He was extremely intelligent, accidentally hilarious, brutally honest, overly polite, and disturbingly determined. But if there was one thing, one tiny little flaw that Gaara wished he would just give up, it was cooking. The man couldn't cook. Every attempt at cooking resulted in a busted appliance, the fire department being called, and an irate landlord. No matter how hard Neji tried, and by god did this man try, it ended in disaster. Gaara offered, no, more like pleaded, to do the cooking for the both of them. He honestly didn't mind, not to mention it saved a smoke-induced headache but nope. Neji insisted that it was unfair to place all the cooking on him, and he would learn. And while he learned Gaara would slowly die from smoke inhalation.

Before going into the kitchen, the redhead walked to their balcony opening the doors to vent their poor apartment. He thought about grabbing the fan he specifically purchased for when Neji detonated a smoke bomb but decided against simply due to laziness.

Gaara slowly walked to his clearly frustrated husband, wrapping his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. He tried to look at what could possibly be in the pan, but the billowing smoke made it impossible.

"What was it this time?"

"Pancakes."

Gaara noticed his brow furrow further and his frown deepen. It made the redhead grin just a bit. Neji always got frustrated at the simplest things. Not many things bridged past his understanding, but as soon as it did, instant anger or frustration. Despite the hilarious fact that his husband was currently maulding over some pancakes, Gaara attempted to ease it by giving him a light peck on the cheek.

The frown softened just a bit. "I followed the directions."

Gaara's grin turned into a smile, "Until?" Because there was always an until.

"We are out of eggs."

Here it goes. If they were out of an ingredient, Gaara had told him multiple times not to look up a replacement and make something else. It never ended well.

"And baking powder," Neji continued.

That one made Gaara slump on his shoulder. "What did you do?" It can out almost like a whine. He didn't know if he wanted to know what abomination was in the smoking pan.

"From what I read, you can replace an egg with tofu, and it works fine. Baking powder can be replaced with vinegar." Neji scrolled through the Ipad, which had several tabs of 'How To Cook Pancakes' on it.

Gaara tried. Oh lord, he tried his damnedest to not laugh, but god damn it, this man was ridiculous. "Neji, what the fuck," he chuckled into his shoulder.

"The tofu made it lumpy. The recipe said the batter should be smooth, so I put it in the blender."

"Please stop," Gaara laughed harder. Oh, this man was going to put him in an early grave.

"Then I admittedly got impatient, so I turned the stove up too high, and they burned."

Gaara released him, grabbing the pan in question and taking it to the sink to fill with water. He took note of the three black lumps of charcoal glued to the pan. "Neji, you made tofu and vinegar pancakes. Those would have burned without the stove turned on."

"It made sense logically. I did add extra sugar just in case of the vinegar stood out. Maybe that was my mistake." Neji once again started drumming his fingers against the counter.

Attempting to cook was his mistake, but Gaara kept that one to himself. Besides, he was right. Logically yes, you could replace an egg with tofu and baking powder with vinegar. But logic didn't always mean a good idea, and Neji sometimes didn't understand that.

Gaara rested his hand on top of Neji's to stop the tapping. "Maybe wait for me next time?" Though this was ultimately the result, whether Gaara was there or not, he didn't discourage him. He was improving slowly. Even though the pan was probably a lost cause, they at least still had a stove.

"I was making them for you," Neji grumbled, setting the iPad to the side moving to grab a mug from the cabinet.

"You know I don't mind." Being woken up early was way better than waking up to the apartment burning down.

"You also don't have many days off." Neji sighed back, pouring some coffee into the mug. He carefully added the right amount of cream and sugar then handed it off to the redhead. Despite not drinking it himself and his complete inability to cook, Neji could make one hell of a cup of coffee. He seemed to notice Gaara's addiction to the stuff after they moved in together, creating a habit of preparing some for him every morning. It was sweet. Or he got tired of Gaara complaining about shitty coffee shops in the city.

Gaara gladly accepted the cup giving it an inhale. "Smokey," he grinned, earning him a glare that he definitely deserved. "Let's sit outside until this clears." He chuckled, taking a small sip.

"I should clean first," Neji sighed, looking down at the disaster he made. There were three big bowls, almost every big spoon they owned, all the ingredients, the blender, and two other pans that Gaara just noticed looking across the counter. Not to mention the wet and dried batter thrown every which way. For such a neat man, Neji really could make a mess.

"It'll take hours to clean all of this. Besides, that pan going to need to sit in battery acid for the next thirty years before whatever that is comes off." Gaara looped his arm around the taller male pulling him toward the balcony with no resistance. "You want your book?"

"I can…"

"Go sit. I'll grab it." He stepped away to go to their room. Now that he thought about it, he was glad Neji almost burnt down the apartment this time. Having to try tofu vinegar pancakes with extra sugar probably would have killed him. Then his poor husband would starve to death or at the very least have to move back in with his cousin. Once Gaara made it back outside, Neji was already sitting on the small bench that barely fit the both of them. His hair was taken down from the bun, but he was still tapping his fingers on the arm. Gaara set the book down on his lap and placed his mug down on the small table in front of the bench. He waited for Neji to pick up the book and find the right page before sitting, snuggling up next to him.

"You'll get it eventually. Don't stress," he sighed as Neji gently placed an arm over him.

"I'll try again next weekend."

"And I'll buy an extra fire extinguisher."

"You know maybe I should get up and clean." Neji grinned.

"No, I'll stop," Gaara whined, clinging tighter to his waist, pushing his face further into Neji's side. He was way too comfortable for any type of movement and was enjoying the clean air. He heard Neji chuckle and flip a page.

This was the way Gaara should have woken up this morning. Face deep in the most comfortable pillow he's ever had. He took in a deep breath only to stop and snort out another laugh.

"Hmm?"

"You smell like burnt pancakes."

Neji laughed," Should I change clothes?"

"No," Gaara sighed. "It's perfect."

Here's a random idea that popped into my head because I've been stressed out of my mind. Normally, I wouldn't have time, but I decided to throw all responsibilities out the window and write this. I wrote this in like an hour, so there are probably mistakes but whatever. Hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day!