「 CHAPTER 1 — Blank Page」
Rin knew the end before it arrived, recognizing it in quiet that she knew well, and resigning herself to what may come.
After years of silence, Rin grew to despise and understand the meaning of quiet. An absence of sound wasn't purposeless. There was more to be found in fleeting glances, muted offerings, and soundless acts than words could convey. Her exile in her own village was brought upon by speechlessness wrought in fear. In meeting Sesshomaru, she said nothing while his silence and the occasional clipped phrase spoke volumes.
To Rin, he was wounded. Perhaps as much inside as he was out.
Yet still, he asked her where her wounds had come from, even with the grievous ones he sported healing day after day. It amazed her how someone could convey so much yet did so with as little words as possible. With her life returned, she found it in herself to talk — sing, laugh, weep, argue, and live.
Watching others and their actions as much as she listened to their words, absorbing and compartmentalizing, then moving on with one step in front of the other. Separating intentions from prejudices took time and patience. Nevertheless, while Rin shied from humans, she knew one day she would have to face them.
And she was aware when that day had finally come.
Crickets chirped in the tall grass, firewood crackling and burning with a thin plume of smoke trailing off into the star-studded sky. Rin sat in the dirt with her back supported by A-Un, curled around her with their heads resting upon their front paws and ears pricking at every sound. With the insects singing, the firewood burning, and Jaken's hushed murmuring, the sounds of the village oft in the distance drew Rin's attention and she glanced toward the smattering of huts past the rice paddy fields glistening silver in the moonlight. Her eyes softened as she allowed her gaze to wander along bobbing amber lights and the silhouettes of humans nearly indistinguishable aside from their sizes.
Children, as Jaken had pointed out so graciously a half hour ago, lived in the village in droves. If she tired of waiting then perhaps she should bother one of them instead of him, he quipped, but it was his eyes that confused her the most. And he hadn't looked at her since. Taking to mumbling and pacing about the patches of grass around their campfire, worrying his staff between his hands and sparing the occasional bemoaning glance toward the village.
A-Un huffed irritably, the fur at the end of their tail fluffing out. A warning Jaken either ignored or hadn't noticed over his fretting. When the two-headed dragon opened one eye, their steady breathing interrupted by a low rumbling growl, Rin laid her hand on their side with a soft pat. A-Un snorted and shut their eye, relaxing once more as another chill breeze swept past them. Whistling through the grass and rustling her hair, a light shudder eased as A-Un's tail rested lightly in her lap. Their heated scales warming through the fabric of her kosode and welcomed as she snuggled beneath, patting them gently.
Curious and concerned Jaken would worry himself into a hole, Rin's lips twitched downward into a frown. "You seem nervous, Master Jaken," she said softly.
"N-Nervous?!" Jaken stuttered, eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets as he twitched upright and puffed out his chest, stamping the end of his staff into the dirt. "What would I have to be nervous over?"
Though he held his head high, Rin could see the creases in his brow and sweat forming along his crown. Her brows knitted in concern and a quiet snort from aside drew her attention to A-Un. The two-headed dragon looked on at Jaken's posturing with half-lidded eyes flicking toward Rin.
She spared them a smile and shrugged half-heartedly. "That's what I would want to know," Rin said, ignoring Jaken's visible flinch and quick glance toward the village. Worry had already made its home within her stomach. Something cold easing up from the soles of her feet that not even the fire or A-Un's scales could soothe.
"Did Lord Sesshomaru have something important to talk to Lady Kaede about?"
It was part of why they were in the field, of that she was sure. The daiyōkai bid Jaken to find firewood before leaving without a word, walking along the dirt trodden paths intersecting between the rice paddy fields. Their waters almost seemed ablaze, drenched in scarlet reds reflecting the cloudless sky. His white hair almost silver in the afternoon sunbeams, haloed in a dull sanguine. Villagers tending to the fields stopping to watch him as he passed, murmuring to themselves with quiet glances toward the short grassy hill where they made their camp. When Jaken returned, Rin half-expected him to lord over how the humans shouldn't have even deigned to spare their lord a glance.
Yet he said nothing.
Only telling Rin to settle by A-Un while he prepared the fire then ushering her close to it. He was quiet. Far too quiet. Tending to her requests of being hungry without question, little grumbling aside from the murmuring and off glances toward the village.
Afternoon faded. Dusk falling over them in muted worries and half-spoken realizations.
Rin waited for him to tell her it was none of her business. To sit patiently and wait for their lord to return so they could leave. And yet, Jaken did neither. Staring pointedly at the dirt between his pointed toes as if it were the most interesting thing in the world, an almost white-knuckled grip on his staff. Rin opened her mouth but the words were choked out of her as A-Un's tail wound itself around her waist, warm scales doing little to ease the dreaded chill settling over her shoulders.
She wasn't sure when she'd fallen asleep but a gentle nudge to her shoulder roused her slowly. Rubbing her hands at the corners of her eyes, she sniffled and stared blearily at her toes. Only allowing her gaze to shift upward when she noticed Jaken nursing a lump on his head and a rock about the size of her fist sitting nearby. Which had to have meant —
Looking up, her eyes widened.
"M'lord," Rin chirped, dragging herself up to her feet after shuffling from beneath A-Un's tail. "Welcome back!"
For a moment, he said nothing but his golden eyes were sharp with an unspoken emotion that untwisted the knots in her stomach. He stared at her for a moment longer then looked ahead, stepping past A-Un's tail without looking down and wandering through the tall grass. Jaken picking himself up off the dirt as their lord passed by and quickly bowing his head til his forehead touched the dirt. Turning away from A-Un with a light pat, Rin hopped over their tail and padded over to Jaken, crouching down to touch the lump lightly.
Jaken groaned lightly, then confusedly, looking up with a eyes a touch watery than usual. "Rin?"
With a soft smile, Rin cradled the back of his head and patted gently. "It's alright, Master Jaken." Despite his sputtering, she knew that she shouldn't keep Sesshomaru waiting and trailed after him with her hands clasped behind her back and toes digging into the soil with each step. Their campfire was a smudge on the horizon by the time he slowed to a stop, and Rin spared a glance back, feeling much like Jaken had.
Nervous and unsure, but accepting of something.
As Rin was lead into a wooded dell, carved out between thickets of trees and lit by moonbeams misting over the grass, she noticed Sesshomaru almost seemed ethereal. A far cry from the injured being she'd seen almost a few months ago. His eyes were trained on something in the distance and though the night was nothing short of peaceful, he seemed almost upset or perhaps resigned. Rin shuffled forward and peered up at him curiously before trotting ahead, spinning on her heel to face him. A brief miscalculation of how quickly she moved almost making her topple backward til she wheeled her arms to remain upright. Sparing a glance up at him to see if he caught her blunder, the faintest upward twitch of his lips made her eyes widen but it was gone almost as quickly as it came.
His eyes narrowed then slipped shut, and her hands twisted into fists. "It is best for you to learn how to live among humans, Rin."
Canting her head to one side, now confused, Rin asked. "Why?" She lived a great deal of her life away from humans or shunned by them. While it might have been lonely, she was certainly better off in her own opinion. And coming from him with his own prejudices seemed strange. "You don't speak to humans often, aside from the ones who're friends with Inuyasha, Kohaku, and me."
As she ticked off the names on her fingers, Sesshomaru huffed. "There are reasons for that. You, however, are different than I."
Rin almost flinched.
He is not someone a human child should follow.
The air was scalding and humid that night, her heart beating wildly as she listened to the monk speak. His raspy voice begging her to turn back. Hand, cold and clammy, as it grasped her own until she yanked herself free. Sesshomaru's visage was growing distant and though she called for him to wait for her, her feet were rooted to the ground despite the soil and foliage being burnt away.
Humans and demons live in different worlds. You know I'm right.
He'd spoken those words with such conviction. Her lips trembling as she recalled Jaken's snide remark.
By the time the lord's empire is created, you'll be long gone.
She was aware. Aware that they were different from her. One day, if she was lucky, she would grow old and die peacefully. Hopefully amidst a field of flowers. And time wouldn't have touched them at all. She knew it from their silence and the way they looked after her, but she'd been happy and secure with her place in their lives and her own. Far too happy to confront the end prematurely. Now that it stared her in the face.
Now that she looked up to him, and saw the end in his silence.
She realized what Jaken's murmuring and A-Un's closeness was.
A farewell.
Whether Sesshomaru was giving her a chance to allow his words to sink in or collecting his thoughts alluded Rin entirely, his voice steady and calm as he looked down to her. "This isn't only for you to learn how to live among humans," he said, and Rin blinked up at him, puzzled. "It is a chance for humanity to regain your trust."
She almost wanted to laugh. Was that even possible? But a myriad of a faces flitted across her mind: the priestess Kagome, Kohaku, his older sister Sango, the monk Miroku, and Lady Kaede. Her skepticism cracked, hairline fractures joining together to whittle away at the resolve she'd had to never be one of another human village.
"Will you come back?" Rin asked quietly, the sounds of the forest drowning out her voice to her own ears.
"Do not expect me frequently…" Her head twitched upward at that, both surprised that he'd heard her and poised with a snappish quip on her tongue. His eyes narrowed at her and she clamped her mouth shut. "But I will return."
Relief stayed her tongue and scathing remarks, balled fists falling open. "And you won't forget me?"
As minuscule as his reactions were in their differences, he almost seemed offended at that. One brow raising about a millimeter from its usual place. "Do you doubt my memory?" He asked loftily. "Or your place in it."
Rin blinked owlishly, her hands clasped behind her as she rocked back on her heels, grinning widely. "Never."
When they returned to the campsite, Rin was unsurprised to see the slightly hunched figure of the greying priestess Kaede standing aside the fire. Jaken delegated moving A-Un over to a nearby tree and perked up at the sight of them. As Rin approached with Sesshomaru at her side, Kaede looked from the daiyōkai to her with a small smile and a curt nod. Rin glancing up to Sesshomaru before taking a step forward, halting when she noticed Jaken shuffling forward with his hands tucked in his sleeves, staff clunking against the dirt.
"P-Pardon, m'lord…"
Sesshomaru glanced at him from the corner of his eye and Jaken bowed his head lower.
"If I may…" Jaken started, and Rin could practically see the beginnings of a long-winded speech churning in his mind. She held out her hand to him with a little smile and Jaken startled, sparing a glance up to Sesshomaru before stepping closer, brushing aside her hand. Without a word, the daiyōkai treaded through the grass toward A-Un and sat down. The fire's embers burning low, casting shadows over his face and with his eyes closed, Rin spared him a smile then nudged Jaken into walking as they followed Kaede.
No words were spoken and Rin didn't mind it. Admiring the flooded fields, smoothed boulders along their banks and the height of the huts they passed by, she wondered how different it was from the village she'd come from. Few humans were walking about but the ones who were looked to them with surprise and slight contempt. Rin's hand finding Jaken's sleeve and clutching it tightly, and to her surprise, the imp didn't shrug her off or bat her away.
When they reached what Rin assumed was Kaede's hut, the old priestess gave them a backward glance then nodded, stepping inside. A savory scent of cooked meat and dried herbs wafting from inside and Rin's stomach groaned.
"You're hungry again?" Jaken huffed, his voice quavering despite the indignant look as he stared down his nose at her. "Honestly, humans are insatiable."
Rin covered her mouth with the side of her free hand, clutching his sleeve a bit tighter. "Well, you won't have to worry about that now, will you?"
Jaken's mouth fell open and no sound came forth. The two of them staring at one another for a long while in the dull glow of light seeping from the crevices of the doorway and the window.
"You'll be fine on your own," Jaken said, though whether that was to reassure her or himself, Rin wasn't sure.
She nodded nonetheless.
"No wandering off, or getting yourself into trouble, if you see something that might harm you then run the other way."
She let go of his Jaken's sleeve as his voice began to crack and tears welled up in his bulbous yellow eyes. Her arms wrapping around his trembling shoulders as she hugged him close, resting her cheek against his head.
"I'll miss you too, Master Jaken…" Rin muttered, hearing the clatter before the hug was returned tightly. "Be careful so you're not left behind while Lord Sesshomaru is making his empire."
"W-Who said I'll be left behind?! M'lord would never leave his loyal retainer."
The sleeve of her kosode was damp with his tears and she closed her eyes tightly, staving off the few brimming at the corners of her eyes. Pulling away with her hands on his shoulders, she grinned widely.
"Then you'd better get going, huh? He might change his mind and think you want to stay with humans."
Jaken squawked her name indignantly and Rin laughed, feeling the pressure welling up no matter how much she tried to blink it away. His quiet laughter joined hers until they were leaning against one another, Nintōjo and their inevitable parting a distant memory. Sniffling and wiping away her tears, Rin stooped down to pick up the staff in both hands.
"Lord Sesshomaru gave this to you, right?" She presented it to him with a little smile. "You shouldn't leave it lying around…"
He grumbled quietly. The night filled the silence between them and the shade provided by Kaede's hut allowed the conflict to flit across their faces easily.
Jaken looked up to her and opened his mouth, starting loudly. "G—" He choked and Rin's brows twitched upward, wondering why he was making a face as if he were on the verge of death again. "Until —"
A frustrated growl interrupted another failed attempt at something and Jaken stamped his foot into the dirt, crushing a small cluster of wildflowers sprouting in the soil telling of the coming spring. Realization dawned and her chest clenched as she realized what he was trying to do.
Throwing her arms around his shoulders, she hugged him fiercely. "Goodbye, Master Jaken."
A choked sob and a squeeze to her shoulder was his only response. Together, they stood for a moment longer before she let him go and nudged him toward the path leading toward the outskirts of the village. Watching from the door of Kaede's hut as his small figure grew tinier and tinier along the horizon. Until she could no longer make out the yellow of his eyes looking back at her and his waving hand matching the pace of her own. The fire they'd made went out and she closed her eyes, wondering if this was how her lord — how Sesshomaru — had felt.
A short while spent in the humid night air and amidst the sounds of the night was broken as the hut's door slid open.
"Come inside, Rin," Kaede called, not quite an order but the concern in her voice was enough to snap Rin to reality. "You'll catch cold if you linger too long."
Looking back to her, muscles stiff with how long she'd been standing, Rin nodded. "Yes, Lady Kaede."
Concern deepened the older priestess's wrinkled forehead as she stepped outside, reaching out to lay a hand on her shoulder. Rin side-stepped it, wincing when Kaede's hand met open air. A look of recognition and understanding in place of anger and upset as Kaede spoke. "Ye may think this as punishment, Rin, but Sesshomaru has only the best of intentions for ye."
She knew that. Deep down, despite all of the ill will threatening to color this moment in venomous shades of betrayal and abandonment — she knew that.
"I'm just thinking about how good your stew smells," Rin sniffed the air with a satisfied sigh, holding out her arms and leaning onto one foot.
Kaede seemed to understand and nodded. "I've heard it tastes better," she said, ushering Rin inside with a little smile that was almost too knowing for her comfort. "There'll be more than enough for the two of us."
With one last glance over her shoulder, Rin smiled demurely then closed the door.
Author's Note
I wrote this all in one go, and I'm still surprised that I actually did it. So to everyone who is waiting for an update to It Takes A Village, rejoice because you won't have to wait much longer. This technically takes place before It Takes A Village but it's snippets of Rin's life in the village and how she grew up among humans and became the young woman we meet in ITAV. Somehow, writing younger Rin, I realized how sharp she was even as a child and how used to goodbyes and farewells she was.
Her relationship with Jaken is one of the sweetest for me to write because despite their bickering, they really cared. And Sesshomaru, while still being somewhat of an enigma, did his best with breaking the news. I believe Ungai's words really resonated with Rin because it made her realize that this may end someday but she's happy, so that's all that matters.
As usual, you guys can find me on Twitter, Tumblr, Tapas, Instagram, and Pillowfort at unlockthelore!
Thank you so much for reading.