OKAY. This is a new story, it started out as a one-shot but I ran with it.
It's rated MA for language, self-harm, abuse, and sexual content (later).
XOXOXO
Chapter 1
Sofia
The light hurt my eyes as I stepped outside.
It was hotter than the weatherman had predicted, but I kept my brown hoodie on as I shuffled along the sidewalk to school.
It was the first day of my Senior year, and I was not looking forward to going back to my overly crowded, poser filled highschool.
I had managed to keep to myself all last year, and I only had to stay invisible for nine more months before I could get out of this damn town.
No friends means no strings attaching me here.
God knows I'm not sticking around for my family.
I stood at the stop sign and waited for carpool parents to stop and let me cross the street.
Parents that care about their kids...I wonder how that feels?
I sighed as I finally got the go-ahead to cross into the parking lot.
Boys in big pickups revved their engines, and girls squealed as they hugged each other.
Disgusting
I pulled my hood over my head and quickly dashed into the high school building, where I was met with a sickening THWAP as I collided heads with another human.
I fell hard on my butt and closed my star-filled eyes.
Great
Great start, Sofia
"Sorry!" I heard a boy apologize in a thick southern accent, and I felt a hand on my arm, which I pulled back protectively.
Don't touch me
"Don't worry about it. I don't need my brain. It's just high school," I mumbled, moving to my knees and using the wall to heave myself up the rest of the way.
"It was nice bumping into you," the boy chuckled, amused.
I'm glad you find it funny
I sure as hell don't
"Sure. I'll wear a helmet tomorrow," I snapped, rolling my eyes, and began to walk away.
"Hey, wait! What's your name?" the boy swung around me to block my way.
I sighed, annoyed, "Sofia. Can I go now?"
"Sofia," he repeated, "I'm James,"
I don't care
"That's nice. Bye,"
I tried to get around him, but he followed me.
"Can I walk you to class?" he asked hopefully.
I inhaled deeply and faced him.
He was at least a foot taller than me, his wavy hair was dirty blonde, his eyes were an abnormal shade of golden-green, and he looked like an underwear model.
He is way too attractive to be talking to me
"I'm sure you can find better things to do with your time. I have to go find my locker," I stated flatly, hurrying away from the apparent figment of my imagination.
You're too young to start going crazy, Sofia Benton
I found my locker and shoved my backpack inside.
My first class was homeroom, and I knew we weren't going to do anything mentally stimulating.
None of the classes here were.
I walked into the noisy classroom, looking for a seat in the back, but was pulled into a chair as I walked down the aisle.
"Sit with me," James smiled brightly, and I groaned.
This again?
If he exists, he's stupid.
I pulled the sleeves of my hoodie down around my fingers and hid in my hood like a turtle.
Take the hint, dude
I'm not interested in whatever it is you're doing
"What other classes do you have this year?" he asked, ignoring my protective stance.
I handed him the schedule from my pocket without looking up.
"Hey! We have a few other classes together!"
His excited tone made me look up.
What's this guy's problem?
Stop talking to me
It's not worth it
"And why is that so exciting? Are you new or something? I'm not the welcoming committee, you know," I glared at him, grabbing my schedule from his hand.
"Yeah, actually, I am. I just transferred here because the football team is better than my old school's," James explained.
Godamnit, he's a football player
Fuck those guys
I'm sick of them messing with me
"Is this some initiation dare?" I snapped, "It's not funny,"
"What are you talking about?" he asked, tilting his head to the side slightly.
Don't act all innocent, asshole
"Look, Football, I don't know what your game is, but I'm not amused,"
"I'm talking to you because I want to. There's no game," James smiled, "You seem cool, I want to get to know you better,"
"There's nothing to know. You're wasting your time," I scowled, getting up from my seat and rushing out of the room.
I ran down the hallway to the bathroom, grabbed a handful of paper towels, and slammed a stall door as I sat down.
He needs to leave me alone.
I retrieved the blade from my pocket and pulled up my right sleeve.
Long purple scars covered my arm, but I found a space near my elbow.
The sound of the blade entering my skin gave me goosebumps, and the pain sent bolts of electricity to my brain.
I took a deep breath and found another section of new flesh to sink my blade in.
I watched as the blood ran down my arm to my fingertips.
This pain was my escape.
I don't deserve friends or caring parents.
I deserve to have the life drained out of me, one cut at a time.
I started to feel light-headed, stopped, put the blade back in my pocket, wrapped paper towels around my arm, and washed my hands.
I watched as the sink turned red and smiled.
I know I'm a freak, but what do I care what any of these assholes think of me.
I opened the bathroom door and gasped when I saw James leaning against the lockers waiting for me.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm good, football," I replied passively, "Why are you here?"
And why the fuck do you care?
"I was worried about you; I wanted to make sure I didn't upset you,"
Who the hell is this guy?
"Nah, you're good," I assured him, patting him on the shoulder and wincing.
"What's wrong?" he asked, grabbing my hand.
I tried to pull away, but he pulled my sleeve up, and his face went white.
"Please let me go," I whispered, frantically looking around to see if anyone else was around.
Are you trying to ruin everything?!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
"You did this?" he whispered, taking a handkerchief out of his pocket and wrapping it around my elbow to stop the bleeding.
"Who even carries handkerchiefs anymore?" I snorted, but his face stayed solemn.
Get mad and walk away
Come on
Shoo
"You need to go to the nurse, fuck, you need to go to the hospital," he complained, pushing me towards the exit.
No. No hospital.
I'd never get out.
People like me end up in psych wards.
"No! You need to mind your own business. I'm fine," I pushed James's hand away.
We stood glaring at each other in the hallway, each of us waiting for the other to give in.
"Shouldn't you two be in class?" Mrs. Iris, the English teacher, asked pointedly.
Keep your mouth shut, football boy.
"Yeah. We were going back, Mrs. Iris," I replied. not breaking eye contact with the pushy boy.
"I'm not going to let this go," he stated, spinning me around towards homeroom and planting me back in the seat next to him.
You fucking need to
God, this guy is pissing me off...but why do I feel so excited?
No one has ever cared about me like this before.
The lunch bell rang, and I sat at an empty picnic table outside, pulled out my book, and began to read.
I never ate lunch at school, my mother hadn't set me up for free lunches, and I wasn't going to spend my money on nasty school food.
"There you are," someone said, but I was sure they weren't talking to me, so I ignored it, "Sofia?"
I looked up at the sound of my name and groaned when I saw James sitting across from me.
Seriously?
Didn't I get rid of you?
"You again? Haven't you got a pep rally to go to or something, Football?" I asked, returning to my book.
"And leave you alone? Not a chance," he said, biting into an apple.
"I'm not a charity case, and I don't need a babysitter. What I choose to do in my spare time is none of your business," I whispered, not looking up.
"Regardless, friends don't let friends self-harm,"
Friends?
Nice try, football
"Since when are we friends?"
"Since this morning. You ran into me, remember?"
"Almost knocking me unconscious does not automatically make us friends. You have an entire team of beefed-up friends. Not to mention the cheerleaders who are going to want to sleep with you," I mumbled.
Go be with your people and leave me to my book
I'm not part of your circle
And I don't fucking want to be
"Is someone jealous? Don't worry, Sofia, I'll be true to you," he smirked, and I hit him with my book.
He's such a flirt
Please stop
"So we're dating now?" I huffed.
"Are we? You said it, so it must be true," James rested his hand on mine, "I'd be happy if it were true,"
"You're weird. Go away," I pulled my hand back and placed it under the table.
"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, looking around for a sign of a lunchbox.
Yes
"Nope. The food here sucks," I stated, reading the same line of my book for the twelfth time.
He's bad for my concentration...
Quit caring about me so much
"Here, I have enough to share," he said, pushing his lunch bag towards me.
I raised my hand in protest, but my stomach betrayed me and began to growl.
I peeked inside, finding half a turkey sandwich and an orange, "You sure you don't mind?" I asked, pulling the items out, and he shook his head.
"All I ask in return is that you give me your number," he smirked, and I sighed, pulling my phone out of my pocket and unlocking it before tossing it at him.
Fine
I'll block your number anyway
"Yeah, yeah, thank you," I sighed, biting into the sandwich.
"You're welcome, Sof," he smiled, putting my information in his phone and taking another bite of his apple.
I never was one for nicknames, but hearing James use the variation almost made me smile
"James! You wanna go practice before lunch is over?" Hugo Thompson, the Senior quarterback, called over to him while flipping a football in his hands.
The sound of his voice makes me want to puke.
God, he's such a fucking tool.
"Only if my girlfriend wants to watch!" he called back, putting my phone back into my hoodie pocket, and waiting for me to reply.
What the actual fuck?
"No. I'm not your girlfriend, and I'm not interested in watching you toss an oblong ball back and forth," I rolled my eyes.
"Oh, come on, please," he begged, and I sighed.
His unique eyes burned into mine, and I found myself unable to say no.
Damn it.
"Fine, maybe I can get some reading done if you're otherwise occupied," I pulled my bag on my shoulders and finished off the sandwich.
"Hold up, Hugo!" James called and pulled me by the waist toward the field.
"Hey, hands-off," I squirmed away, but he just smirked and held my hand instead.
I hate people touching me, but the warmth of his hand is comforting somehow.
"Hey guys, do you know my girlfriend Sofia?" he asked, squeezing my hand as we joined the tanks on the bleachers.
"Sofreaka, yeah. We know her," they all laughed, and I pulled my hood further over my face, "Nice joke, dude,"
Now James is going to call me Sofreaka...
I shouldn't have come here
I shouldn't have come to school
"Hey!" James barked, making them stop, "I'm serious. She's my girlfriend, and I'd appreciate it if you guys wouldn't make fun of her,"
"Stop it, Football, it's not worth it," I pulled my hand away, "And stop calling me your girlfriend,"
I ran off the field and found a spot behind the school to hide.
I want to go home
This place is a waste of my time
These people hate me
Maybe I should drop out
I rolled up my sleeve and saw James's blood-soaked handkerchief.
Why had he been so nice to me?
I probably screwed that up.
He won't talk to me again.
I pressed hard on the fresh cuts and cried out in pain.
You ruin everything!
I bet he hates you now!
I kept pressing them until my sight became blurry.
He's probably laughing with them about how crazy I am
"Stop it!" James yelled, grabbing my hand and pinning it behind my back, "Stop hurting yourself!"
"Leave me alone!" I cried, trying to wiggle out from under him but failing.
Why did he come back?
What the hell does he want?!
The joke's over
"No! You may not understand why I like you, but that doesn't change the fact that I do," he pulled me into his chest, "Those guys are idiots, I'll make sure they never talk to you or about you like that again,"
You can't like me
You can't stop them from hating me
You'll learn...
"It's fine," my voice was muffled by James's shoulder in my face, "I don't need or want you to protect my honor,"
He pulled me back and stared at me sadly, "Why not?"
Because I'm insane.
I enjoy inflicting pain on myself, and I'd rather not cause you pain
God, make something up, moron
"Because I want to leave after graduation. If I end up falling for you or even being your friend, you could make me want to stay." I shrugged, staring at his tight blue shirt.
"So, you don't want me around because you like me too much. Is that what I'm hearing?" James smirked.
Clever twist, Football
"I think you've taken one too many hits to that pretty head of yours, Football," I sighed, shaking my head.
"Now I'm pretty? You're so blunt, miss Sofia. Yes, I'll go out with you, geez," he laughed, running his hand over the back of his neck, "let me see your arm," he looked at it, the corners of his mouth turning in a concerned frown, "If you do this again I'm taking you to the hospital. Give me the blade," he held out his hand.
I fished it out of my pocket, annoyed.
The sentiment was sweet, but he'd get bored with me eventually
I'm not exactly sure how we got here, but I'd play along for now
I'm not going to let it get out of hand
Nothing can happen between us
The bell rang, and he helped me to my feet, not letting go of my hand.
"You're gonna get all the shit for dating Sofreaka, you know," I pointed out as we walked into the high school building.
"I can handle it. Or I can beat some asses. I'm good either way," he smiled coyly, waiting for me to get my books out of my locker before dropping me off at my math class, "Meet me in the parking lot after school,"
"Okay," I nodded, and he kissed my hand before heading to his next class.
I touched the spot on my hand that he had kissed.
In what reality does the cutting girl get the hot football player?
I stood on the ramp to the gym after school let out, looking out over the Senior parking lot.
Maybe I should start walking home
I'll see him tomorrow, I'm sure
"Sofia!" James jogged over to me enthusiastically and engulfed me in a bear hug.
"Too much enthusiasm, Football. Drop it down four notches," I grumbled as my back popped.
It amazes me how easily It is to let James touch me
"Are you going to call me Football forever?" he asked, laughing.
"Yep. That's your name now," I shrugged.
"Even when we're an old married couple? Still going to be Football?" he poked me in the side.
Wow, someone was optimistic
"Don't threaten me like that," I took a side step away from him, but he picked me up and jumped over the railing, "Put me down!"
He tossed me in the bed of his black Chevy Silverado and crossed his arms on the side so that we were eye to eye, "Can I give you a ride home?" he whispered, ignoring all of the looks we were getting from passing students.
"No, I only live down the street. I walk," I denied him.
I can't let James know where I live
He would probably want to come inside
Fuck that
"Not anymore, come on, let me take you home," he poked my nose, and I acted like I was going to bite him, "Or at least let me take you on a drive, we can hang out,"
I thought about it for a second.
I don't have work tonight, and I can finish my homework later
Time to push him away
I don't have a choice
"Fine. Let's go for a drive, but make it quick," I agreed, jumping to the ground.
"You know the area better than I do; why don't you drive?" James asked, dangling the keys in front of my nose like a cat toy.
"You really should consider not trusting people so quickly, Football," I smirked, grabbing the keys and sliding around to the driver seat.
James laughed and shook his head as he slid next to me.
He hooked up his phone to the stereo, and I started the engine.