Beads of perspiration rolled down Beckett's forehead and the back of his neck in the cold autumn night, soaking into his shirt collar to make little pockets of damp cold fabric that made his hairs stand on end. Taking out a kerchief from his jeans pocket, he wiped them away in annoyance, tossing the maltreated fabric to the side once he was done. Sitting on the roof of his companion's cabin in a spot by a babbling stream, set up in a remote location somewhere between Tygart Water Treatment and Horizon's Nest, Beckett tried to keep calm even though every fibre in his body was raging, and he felt that familiar fury that made him see nothing but red when he was a raider with the Blood Eagles. He did the calming exercises his companion, Meredith, had shown him which helped when he felt like the world was spiralling out of control: slow and steady breath in, slow and steady breath out, repeating several times until he felt his mind clear and his heartrate slow back to normal. What was supposed to be non-complicated mission had gone sideways in the bat of an eye, almost costing Meredith her life.
"Pull yourself together Beckett", he muttered under his breath, clenching his jaw and taking a deep breath in to steady himself, "She's gonna be fine…you've both been through tougher situations…she's a fighter and will pull through this too".
Just below him, one of Meredith's vaultie friends, Coulter, was working on stabilising her condition. In the Cultist ambush she'd been the hardest hit, suffering deep lacerations to her midsection, broken ribs, including two vicious stab wounds that were done with a dagger tainted with radscorpion poison; in all the chaos, Beckett didn't even recall how they got up to the cabin.
"They must have tracked me down after I hoofed it man", he remembered Sage comment as they carried her up the hill, "I'm sorry Beckett, I didn't mean for Mere to get hurt".
If Sage hadn't been with them at the time of the ambush, Beckett knew they wouldn't have stood a chance. After Sage helped him carry Meredith to her cabin, he ran off in search of someone who could help treat her wounds as neither of the men were qualified enough to deal with the kinds of physical trauma she was inflicted with. Deep down he knew he couldn't blame Sage too much… it wasn't his fault that he was like this, flitting from one absurd cult to another; but there was a part of him that was angry at Sage for joining the Mothman Cultists. Beckett clenched his jaw tightly, feeling another wave of rage passing through him; all he wanted to do in this moment was go to the Cultist's main camp and burn them all to the ground.
A recent newcomer from the impenetrable Vault 76 of Appalachia, Meredith had only been out of the safety of her Vault-Tec underground home for about ten months, though even in such a short period she and her people made waves in Appalachia. A naively optimistic twenty seven year old who knew nothing of the dog-eat-dog life above her, Meredith was sold a bullshit story from her Overseer about "retaking Appalachia", as if it actually belonged to anyone besides the mutated monstrosities and the fanatical cultists and raiders that dominated the swamps, the barren and charred mining lands and mountains. No, this was not a safe world for humans anymore; the only way people survived in this hellish environment was as ruthless scavengers and raiders. Beckett himself knew as much, yet even though he attempted to explain this to his new companion since she rescued him from the Rollins labour camp those six or seven months ago, the woman had a mind and opinion of her own. Stubbornly optimistic and with a fierce conviction that there was still hope for humanity, Beckett was hard pressed to argue with her; in fact, the longer he sheltered at her cabin the more he found himself being inadvertently lulled into thinking that she was starting to make some sense. But it wasn't her naivety that got her into trouble this time; it was a Mothman cultist party that ambushed them after they had freed his brother Frankie from the Blood Eagles underground hideaway in Watoga. Beckett always wondered whether their ilk held grudges as much as the raiders… now it looks like he had his answer.
The sound of footsteps approaching the door beneath him roused Beckett out of his thoughts and back to the present. Giving his head a shake and wiping away the tears that threatened to roll down his face, he cleared his throat and slid down the roof to the porch.
"What's the word?" he asked, wasting no time as his heart felt like it was beating inside his throat. It took all of his energy to keep himself from fidgeting with his arms – he tended to do that when he was concerned or anxious.
"She'll pull through", Coulter exhaled in exhaustion and took off his blue medical gloves, running his fingers over his short buzz cut hair, "But she's going to need extra care over the next 24 hours to get her out of the woods completely. I've given her antivenom and blood thinners to stop any blood clots forming from the radscorpion toxin, but that means her wounds are going to take longer to heal".
The news brought some relief to Beckett and he felt his shoulders relax as if an invisible weight had been lifted off his shoulders, "Thanks Coulter… Can't tell you how glad we are you were in the neighbourhood".
Coulter gave him a curt nod and a smile that flashed brilliant white teeth, a stark contrast to his dark skin tone, "I'm only glad I was able to make it in time. If I'd been even half an hour late…", he shook his head.
Beckett got the idea.
"Can I go see her?"
"Yeah. She's asleep so…don't expect much of a conversation", Coulter added.
Beckett steeled himself before walking through the door into Meredith's cabin, knowing that now more than ever he needed to be strong…for her.
The inside of the cabin was charmingly decorated and organised, the walls painted in an appealing canary yellow colour that normally gave the space a warm and inviting feeling, especially in the golden hour of the day when rays of light flooded the living room space…but not today. There was a small fire stove to the back wall on his right, a couch with two attractive armchairs in the middle and a set of stairs going up to the bedrooms on his left. He took the short flight of stairs two at a time and, raising his gaze from the wooden hallway floor, caught sight of her lying peacefully in her double bed through the open archway into her room. Hesitating for a moment upon seeing her, Beckett recalled the hundred times he'd passed through this very hallway and caught curious glances inside of her reading, sitting at her desk writing notes on her terminal, having a snooze on her bed, and one time he accidentally walked into the bedroom while she was changing. The feelings of that memory of her, their eyes connecting as they both hesitated, caught in his throat and made his heart race.
"Hey Boss…" he sighed at the sight of her. Meredith was out cold, tucked under a blanket with her arms out by her side and an IV drip line attached to a vein at the top of her wrist. He pursed his lips as he pulled up a chair to sit beside her, a pained scowl settling into the fine lines in his forehead and around his eyes. Taking her left hand in his and feeling the warmth of her skin, he watched her chest rise and fall with every breath. Dark circles had formed under her almond shaped eyes, her closed eyelids preventing him from seeing the depths of her attractive bright blue-hazel coloured gaze. A serene expression on her pale rosy face, lightly speckled with attractive freckles around her nose and long ash blonde hair that cascaded past her shoulder blades like a waterfall, Meredith was unlike any woman he had come across in his life; hell, even her name was unusual to his ear, like a herald to better, safer times. Compared to the people who lived above ground, she carried a youthful complexion and, even though Beckett was only two years older than her, the stress of having to live in uncertain and dangerous times made his features appear as though he were past his mid-thirties.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you… I shouldn't have let my guard down", he whispered into her hand, a sensation of guilt washing over him. If it hadn't been for him abandoning his brother to join up with a bunch of raiders, none of this would have happened.
'Some brother I turned out to be… Can't even keep my own family safe', he thought to himself.
To add more guilt to the already sky high pile, just before they'd left to get Frankie out of the Blood Eagles Meredith confessed that she carried feelings for him; feelings that even he had noticed had begun to develop between them as they spent more time together. In that critical moment when she confessed, he'd been so engrossed in the task ahead of them that he brushed past her heartfelt sentiments.
"Uh, look, Boss… I was kinda hoping you weren't gonna bring this up… I know things between us have been…developing…over the past couple of months; but I can't think about this…about us right now", the words came flooding back to him. Though at the time he didn't pay any attention to the downward twitch in her forced smile and the glimmer in her eyes that had been jaded, it was all he could think about now.
"Oh… alright. I understand", her words played back in his mind, "I just…wanted you to know, is all".
And to that response all he could muster was a half-hearted "Thanks" and a pat on her shoulder; the memory of which made him wince.
"Your vaultie friend… Coulter… says you're gonna be Okay", he murmured, leaning closer to her, "Sage is real worked up about getting you… getting us involved in all this; he would come and apologise himself but I uh… I got mad and told him to make himself useful by keeping watch… in case any more of his old friends show up", he exhaled, rubbing his exhausted eyes that were beginning to sting. Hesitating for a moment, his gaze softened as he focused on her rosy features, "You really saved me…you know that? And I acted like such a jerk to you before we left, so immersed in my own problems that I didn't see what I had in front of me".
A knock on the archway behind Beckett startled him, making him turn abruptly to check who was interrupting.
"Sorry, didn't mean to disturb you", Coulter held up a hand apologetically, "You've been in here a while, wanted to check if you're doing ok".
"Yeah… Yeah, all good", Beckett nodded emphatically, wondering how long Coulter had been standing there and how much of his conversation he overheard.
"You should get some rest. Mere won't be awake for a while; I gave her some strong painkillers to help her sleep".
"I'm fine, really", Beckett stretched in the chair, feeling his spine click in a few places.
"Alright, suit yourself. I'll be downstairs on the couch catching some shut eye if you need me".
Beckett nodded absentmindedly in response and turned his attention back to Meredith once he heard Coulter settle downstairs. Hours passed and Beckett found himself nodding off in the chair by the time Sage dragged himself back through the cabin's front door sometime in the middle of the night, almost making Beckett jump out of his chair. The news he brought back wasn't good; he'd scouted further ahead and found a Cultist camp gathering followers to find and eliminate the three of them.
"Shit", Beckett swore under his breath, his mind swimming. They had barely come back from that ambush, now a whole flock of maniacs were getting ready to attack them before dawn, "We got no other options, we gotta leave".
Sage nodded in agreement and helped Beckett wake Coulter so the three men could prepare whatever supplies and ammunition they could carry with them.
"Where we gonna go man?" Sage asked in a hushed voice while he and Beckett were hurriedly making a makeshift gurney to move Meredith on as she was still out cold and in no condition to walk.
"Foundation, it's the only place that's safe", Coulter answered next to them.
Beckett felt his stomach sink at the mention of the home base for the settlers; he'd had one or two run ins with some Foundation folk a while back when he was still a Blood Eagle. Now he just had to hope that there was no one there who would recognise him.
With the light of a half-moon outside somewhat lighting their path ahead and their packs loaded with as much supplies as they could carry, the group of four quietly departed Meredith's cabin with Sage and Beckett carrying her on the gurney they constructed with sturdy branches and cloth…hoping they wouldn't run into trouble on their long trek to Foundation.
'Warm…too warm', were the first thoughts that slowly trickled in Meredith's mind. A deep sleep had consumed her since the cultist attack not long…wait…how long was she asleep? An hour? A day?... More? In the hazy fog her mind began trying to piece together what happened.
'We were coming back from…Watoga'.
'And then what happened?' something in the back of her mind pushed her to remember.
'I… Tried to fight them off… One of them stabbed me…kicked and punched me when I was down', the images began revealing themselves as if through a fog, 'Beckett called out my name and there were gun shots… Sage was there?'
'Good, what else?'
'I…don't know… I feel too warm. Need to wake up', she thought, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of sweat soaked clothes sticking to her damp skin. It was a struggle to wake herself, her eyelids felt as if they'd been weighed down with lead and her body didn't move when she commanded it to, but slowly and surely she began to rouse. The first rays of bright light stung her eyes when she opened them to peak around, releasing fresh tears to sooth the pain.
After allowing herself a moment to adjust, Meredith blinked awake, squinting in the bright light that seemed to surround her.
'This isn't the cabin', were her first thoughts when she glanced around at the foreign room set up. They seemed to be in one of those old-world trailer cars that had been converted into a bedroom. There were sounds of people milling about outside, chattering amongst each other, hooves scraping dry dirt and snorts of a brahmin further away.
'Where's Beckett?' Meredith thought as she propped herself on one elbow with effort and absorbed her surroundings through squinting eyes. From the look of it, it was early morning and there wasn't a cloud in sight outside, the radiant light from the sun washing over her from the large open window above her; no wonder she was feeling too warm for comfort. Looking around her, she realised she was the only occupant, and was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of urgency. Where was Beckett and, for that matter, where was she?!
"Beckett?!" she croaked, but her voice didn't carry far. Flinging her blanket covers away, she mustered enough energy to sit up and try again, "Beckett!"
The sound of light rushing feet answered her call and a young boy's face peered through the open doorway; it took Meredith a moment for her eyes to focus and recognize that it was young Davie Taylor, the son of Elsie and Derrick Taylor.
"Davie… You… where's Beckett?" Meredith asked still unable to get used to the gruffness of her voice; it sounded like it belonged to another individual, not her own. Simply trying to sit up was a chore in itself and was making her head spin.
"I'll go get him", Davie answered excitedly and without another word turned on his heel and sprinted off in search of her companion.
Meredith breathed a sigh of relief as the adrenaline started to wear off; it appeared that they were safe, for now… but why come to Foundation? She didn't have long to wait to get her answers as Beckett rushed back to the trailer, the sight of her awake and stirring softening the fine lines around his brow.
"Here, let me", he rushed to her side placing one arm around her waist and the other on her collarbone to keep her upright, letting her use his body as support, "I'm not sure you should be trying to get up just yet Boss".
"What happened? Why are we in Foundation?"
Beckett exhaled and smoothed the hair on the back of his head as he tried to find the best way to explain that they had to leave her home as the Cultists were planning on attacking them in the middle of the night.
"Uh, well… After we were ambushed… we carried you back to your cabin. Sage was able to find one of your vaultie friends, Coulter-"
"Coulter?" Meredith interrupted him, her brow furrowing in confusion.
"Yeah. He patched you up…you've been out cold since yesterday evening", Beckett answered, "And as for why we're in Foundation, well… Sage scouted ahead and found another Cultist party getting ready to make a run on our location before dawn. We packed up as much as we could carry and carried it and you to Foundation in the middle of the night".
"But…my home…", Meredith shook her head, an intense need to go back urging her to try to get up and out of bed.
"Hey, hey, easy…slow down", Beckett wrapped his arm around her waist to stop her from getting on her feet.
"All my things are there, the resources we've been scavenging and collecting for months, including my things from the Vault…they're irreplaceable Beckett!", Meredith protested but it was no use, Beckett wasn't going to let her exacerbate her already weak condition.
"You're in no shape to go running back to camp", he answered in a serious tone, "Nothing there is worth more than your own life, Boss!"
'That's where you're wrong', she thought, her sense of desperation increasing. There were irreplaceable items that were left behind there, personal items she took with her when she left the Vault those many months ago, including photographs and items from her parents who had sadly passed away shortly after they all ventured out of the Vault…
Hot tears well up in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks when she tried to blink them away, trying to hide them from him.
"Hey, look at me", he craned his head to gain her gaze back, not relenting until her already reddening eyes reluctantly turned back to him, "We're gonna go back, I promise. But for now, we need to wait until you are all healed up. By then those maniacs will be long gone and things'll get back to normal".
Despite her desire to go back to the home she'd built for herself in the mountains, Meredith knew she couldn't argue with his reasoning; they were in a precarious situation out there all alone, especially now with having provoked the Blood Eagles by removing The Claw from their ranks. There were now two factions in Appalachia that they knew of who wanted their heads for meddling with their affairs.
"Alright…", she agreed, settling back down on the firm mattress despite the sinking feeling in her heart that he home was being destroyed as they sat together.
Days passed and with each new morning Meredith got stronger and felt more like her old self. Scars were beginning to form from her injuries which, over time, would begin to fade to thin lines of shiny skin. A little over a week passed when she was fully back on her feet and Beckett was confident that enough time had passed for the Cultists to presume they had succeeded in their task. However, once they got to the stream all that was left of Meredith's cabin was ash with only the bare and blackened skeletal structure of her once charming home as evidence of her time spent there. Sifting through the debris they were able to find some salvageable items, but Beckett came across the most precious of them hidden underneath a collapsed support beam; it was Meredith's keepsake box. Apart from a few scuffs to the dark wood's high shine polished surface, it was in decent condition and all the items inside were untouched by the flames. He pocketed it inside his black leather jacket, planning on restoring the box to its original condition before giving it back to her as a surprise. When they were finally satisfied with their salvage, they headed back to Foundation.
"I can't believe it's gone…" Meredith mused in a hushed and sombre tone that made Beckett's heart sink; it evoked a memory of when they first met after she sprung him out of that cell in Rollins.
"Where should we meet up after all this? Do you have some sort of place where you're squatting?" he recalled saying, desperate to get anywhere away from the Blood Eagles though acutely aware he had no place to call his own.
"Yeah, of course. Meet me at my camp – it's a little cabin East of Kanawha lookout. You'll find me by the stream", she'd said; and now, several months later, he found a home for himself with her.
Meredith poured everything into that house of hers and it took a lot of time and patience to bring it up to the standard she was happy with. He remembered when he first arrived at her cabin; it was two stories tall, with a nice porch in the front and a larger one in the back offering. All around them were tall trees that offered a welcome shade during warmer weather and gave off a pleasant and refreshing aroma on rainy days. There was something about that location, the sound of fresh and natural source of flowing water, that made Meredith feel calm and at peace. Now all that remained were charred ruins of both house and trees.
"We'll build another one", he reassured her, placing an arm around her shoulders.
Her skills in not just building a sturdy home, but also putting together his own bar in less than a day really impressed him; the skills and knowledge she had gained during her time in Vault 76 made her invaluable in Appalachia. He made it a priority to scout out the area around Foundation for a new home for them to build. Given the fact that they were wanted by Blood Eagles and the Mothman cultists alike, it would be better for them to find a location somewhere within a short walking distance to Foundation.
Not long after they returned and while the sun was still above the horizon, Beckett excused himself and took a stroll down the road from Foundation; as he made his way downhill, his attention was attracted to the faint sound of running water nearby. Following the sound away from the road, he found its source - a small stream with clear water that seemed to run from the top of the mountain, around a bend, under a bridge and into Spruce Knob Lake. There was even a hiking trail nearby which lead to a sheer cliff face with a breath-taking view.
'Meredith's gonna love this place!' he thought excitedly, already picturing where the new house could be placed.
It took some goading on his part to convince her that it would be wiser to build her new home close to foundation rather than in some obscure, out of the way brush in the wilderness, but as soon as he showed her the spot he had in mind Beckett could see the spark of enthusiasm and excitement in her eyes.
As for the materials and manpower needed for the building project, Beckett put his whole weight into the build effort, from doing much of the physical labour to cutting favourable deals with the scavengers for supplies and with the workers at Foundation for the timber to be sourced and cut to specification. Knowing that if it wasn't for him rudely bumping into Meredith's life, her cozy cabin in the mountains would still be there and she'd have a much easier and simpler time without his troubles hanging over her head. Despite her insistence that he wasn't to blame and that, if given the choice to do it all again she wouldn't change a thing, the nagging remorse of what she'd been put through made it hard for him to believe her; so much so that, once he'd helped her build a new home, Beckett was certain that he would pack his things and leave. It was the only way he thought he could keep her from further harm.
A month passed and the house was finally finished, and upon gazing up at its finished structure Beckett couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment and relief.
"She's a thing of beauty", Meredith commented beside him, eliciting a knowing sideways glance from him behind his dark sunglasses.
"Yeah…she is", he answered back as his eyes lingered on her and not the house.
Once again it was a two-storey house, light blue in colour with wood panel walls on the outside and a white porch that ran around the whole of the house. Nicely decorated with potted plants and planters, a long bench to sit next to the main entrance and wooden stairs leading up to the front porch. Inside it was nicely decorated with a deep red couch and two comfy armchairs facing a fireplace built in the wall on the right, with a flight of metal stairs on the left that led to an open plan bedroom. They were lucky several merchants that were passing through into Foundation had some furniture from Whitesprings to sell and now, with an almost fully furnished interior, Meredith's new house looked more like an upper class home than a charming little cottage like she had before. The best part was the house was next to the main road so Meredith was sure to get travelling merchants stop by on the regular. There were still certain things that needed finishing, like planting the vegetables in the garden in the back and setting up a workshop in the large shed on the side of the house, but nothing that required heavy lifting. For the time being he and Meredith were putting up with sleeping on separate mattresses on the floor in the bedroom until the next shipment of steel and wood came in to Foundation the following day so they could finish building the bed frames, but Beckett wasn't planning on staying. He'd packed his things in his duffle bag ready to go in the morning.
Knowing that Meredith was safe and all set up in her new home, he felt confident that with his departure come morning she would finally be able to live the life she'd always imagined after leaving the Vault. He remembered listening to her talk at length before the crap hit the fan with Frankie and the Cultists, about how she planned to help build a community of other vaulties and survivors, share her knowledge of construction and engineering so that Appalachia could be rebuilt to its former condition before the Great War. Part of him honestly thought she was nuts – who could possibly rebuild all those towns and cities that had not just been ravaged by war, but by the monsters that it produced? He remembered having to stifle an outburst of laughter when she first told him at how ridiculous it all seemed, but now… if she could build up a whole house in a month's time, maybe there was hope yet for the rest of Appalachia.
When he finally woke on the day of his departure, the morning was gloriously sunny. Beams of light flooded through the windows, giving the space a warm glow as Beckett got the last of his things together. He noticed Meredith's mattress was empty and assumed she'd gone out in the back to work on her garden. Heading down the stairs he heard the quick shuffling of a pair of boots on wooden floors outside and the familiar sound of hammering.
'Another early start to the morning eh Boss?' he mused, moving to the stone fireplace to his left; there was something that was missing from it. Taking out her keepsake box that he salvaged about a month ago from the burnt remains of her old cabin and restored to its original condition, Beckett placed the highly polished and smooth dark wooden box with a handwritten note from him on the mantle where it rightly belonged. He hoped it would be a pleasant surprise for her and that now it might remind her of him occasionally. With a heavy sigh he readjusted his duffle bag over his shoulder and was about to turn to leave when the main door opened and Meredith barged in dressed in her denim work jeans and shirt, her toolbelt strung loosely around her curved hips.
"Oh! Morning… Hope I didn't wake you", she exclaimed in surprise upon seeing him.
"Nah Boss, I was out like a light", the corners of his lips curved up in his signature smile, though the look in his eyes betrayed his true mood – luckily it was hidden behind his dark sunglasses.
Upon further inspection, Meredith noticed his filled duffle bag slung over one of his shoulders, "You going somewhere?"
"Uhh… Yeah. I uh… I think it's about time I take my leave".
Meredith stood by the door almost frozen by his response, "You're leaving?... W-where? Why?"
"I just think it's…time for me to move on", he almost mumbled his reply, finding himself stumbling to find the right words. The truth was he didn't want to pull up stakes and rebuild someplace else, but he cared too much for her to stay and potentially put her life in jeopardy again, "I uh… I know you've got things you wanna do with your life and having me around, well… I'll just be in the way. But uh…before I go, I have one last thing to say. You know… since I've been in Appalachia, I've run into all sorts of people and, um... Most of them wouldn't bother to help even if you were dying at their feet. But, you…what you've done for me…for my family? I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay you".
"How we truly feel about each other is payment enough", she said with a forlorn look, "Beckett…why does this feel like goodbye? I thought… I thought you cared about me, or was I wrong?"
"I do care about ya Boss, that's why I gotta go…to protect you".
"That's not protecting me, Beckett", she answered with a sceptical look in her eyes, "If you're doing this because you don't feel the same way about me and want to protect me from that truth, then don't hide behind excuses. You should know by now that I don't appreciate it when someone tries to bullshit their way out of a situation. I'm not ashamed to say that I care about you, but if you don't feel the same way, then just say it".
Her response took him by surprise; sure there was more moments of flirtation between them as they spent more time together over the past several months, but he didn't think she was this serious about him… Afterall, how could she want to carry on pursuing him knowing how violent and fucked up his past was. Still, he couldn't deny that there was something about her that made him feel…different…like he wanted to be a better person, a better man. He couldn't deny that her mere presence made his heart flutter, the sound of her voice was the most pleasant and soothing he'd ever wanted to hear, and whenever she was away running her own errands or completing one of his missions he couldn't help but feel like a part of him was missing. His mind would fret over her, wondering if she was safe, and if she was thinking about him as much as he was about her… The last thing he wanted to do was have her be dragged through the mud because of his past; but there was a selfish part of him that simply wanted her, wanted to know if she truly wanted him despite his misgivings.
"I'm uh… well, I'm not really sure how to respond to that", he stammered, trying to find the words to express himself, "Look you see uh… I-I-I've never had anyone that wanted to get this close to me. It feels strange…and, it uh, it… it scares the hell outta me. I mean I-I couldn't even keep my family intact, how is a relationship with you ever gonna work? I mean… You know… What if I mess things up? I know… I know I sound crazy. But for once, it's not the chems talking. Does… does this change your mind about things? About us?"
Meredith sighed and moved a few steps closer to him, "I'll be honest… it…scares me as well, but I'm willing to give it…to give us a chance. I've had plenty of time to think things over, the only recurring thought that comes through my mind when I wonder if I should even tell you how I feel is that if I don't…I might just regret it for the rest of my life. We'll… we'll take it one step at a time…like everyone else does".
Her answer made Beckett chuckle nervously, "Well…good to know I'm not the only one who feels that way, and uh, I dig your honesty. So…uuuuhmm… I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I've actually…never been in a relationship with someone before", he replied, shifting awkwardly on his feet when Meredith didn't reply but instead gazed at him with an amused expression on her features as if there was a small part of her that enjoyed watching him squirm when he didn't know what to do, "Maybe I'll just shut up and let this work out naturally. Yeah…yeah that's probably best".
"Wait… you've never been in a relationship before?" Meredith asked with genuine curiosity.
"No, never", he shook his head, "The way I lived my life…even before I was chem-blasted out of my mind, there was never any time. Anytime someone tried to get close, I assumed they were trying to steal something from me, so I pushed them away. Given the way things are now, thinking that way was pretty stupid, eh?"
"So… How would you feel about being in a relationship… with me?"
"I mean… I've never really had someone who cared about me before, so this…this is all new to me…uh, not a great start there. Uh… I-I mean, yeah! It's great! I'm happy, you're happy…wait… are you trying to tell me something?"
Meredith approached him until she was so close that he could smell the scent of the fresh soap she used to wash her hair that morning. Even though Beckett liked to think of himself as a tough ex-raider, as someone who was hardened by the seriously messed up things he'd done and seen in his life, he found himself frozen in place by her…a woman who stood almost a head shorter than him. A tingle ran up his spine and he could feel his body shiver as he waited in breathless anticipation of a rejection he did not want but felt was a real possibility; the truth was he wanted her…he craved for her. Nothing and no one had ever shown him kindness and care the way Meredith had, and he wanted more. She was like a drug that invaded his thoughts and made him feel wanted, needed, invincible… an incredible high like he'd never experienced before, and he never wanted that feeling to end.
She stood at his feet and reached a hand to pull back his dark shades so she could look into his dark brown eyes, "If you haven't caught onto the message I'm trying to give you yet, then I'll just got ahead and spit it out now, plain and simple - I'm in love with you Beckett", she answered, her hazel blue eyes sparkling in the bright morning light, "Now that there is no doubt on how I feel about you, are you willing to give us a chance?"
As if on cue with her request, his duffle bag slid off his shoulder with a thud onto the hardwood floor. All he wanted to do was launch himself, the desire for her that he'd been trying to keep in check all this time now suddenly feeling like it was growing out of control, a wildfire that was given permission to consume him from the inside out…but he still stood frozen in place, shivering with yearning, waiting for her signal. It wasn't until she reached up and gently stroked the side of his face that he felt his quivering body ease and a sigh escape his lips. He acted on instinct and with one arm pulled her to him in an embrace, locking his lips with hers in a slightly uncomfortable and overpowering kiss that he realised must have been unpleasant for her.
"Sorry… I'm sorry", his arm let go around her waist and he pulled away slightly, not wanting to hurt her, "That was uh… I hope I didn't hurt you".
His reaction was met with a playful giggle, "I'm not made of glass Beckett, but um… not gonna lie… We're gonna have to work on your technique".
At first he felt a wave of embarrassment: who was he kidding, a guy like him – completely inexperienced when it came to relationships, an ex-raider and addict, with a do-gooder woman like her? Then again… he'd seen stranger things happen in Appalachia.
"… Sure thing Boss", he chuckled awkwardly, grinning as his ears turned hot as coals, "I won't argue with that, but uh… since I hardly know anything about being in a relationship, I'm afraid you're going to have to take the lead and…show me what I gotta do".
"I have a feeling you're going to be a natural", Meredith cocked an eyebrow, a look in her eyes that he'd seen a fleeting glance of in the past when he walked in on her changing those many months ago, "And you don't have to call me Boss y'know, just Mere".
"Sure thing Bo-…. Mere", he caught himself mid-sentence, making her grin, "Hey, uh… before we carry on, I have a surprise for you". She hadn't noticed what he'd placed on the mantle of the fireplace yet, so he retreated gingerly to it and hid it behind his back, making sure she didn't see what it was.
"What you got there?" Meredith asked curiously, cocking her head to the side in curiosity.
"It's a surprise. Well… it's something I found back at the old cabin…when we went to check it out after you'd recovered", he revealed the shiny wooden box in front of her.
Her almond eyes widened in surprise and a bittersweet smile spread on her lips, "You… you found my family keepsakes?"
"Yeah", Beckett nodded, gently handing it to her, "It was scuffed when I came across it, so I restored it by hand. I-I know how much it means to you, now it's as good as new".
"You did this?" Meredith asked in surprise, studying the box that appeared in even better condition than she'd last remembered seeing it. Knowing that Beckett wasn't that skilled as a handyman or repairing anything other than a weapon, the fact that he'd taken the time to do this properly meant a lot to her.
"Yup", Beckett answered feeling pleased with himself, his gaze darting from her to the box and back, waiting to hear her reaction, "I uh… wanted to give it to you sooner but… well, I figured I'd wait until we got this place up and ready".
"Thank you, Beckett. This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me", she replied, lovingly clutching the box in her arms and standing up on her tip toes to give him a peck on the cheek before moving to set it on the shelf of the fireplace.
'Not bad Beckett, this relationship thing might not be as hard as you think', he thought proudly to himself, his chest puffing up ever so slightly while his whole body felt light as air.
"I kinda have a surprise for you too", she motioned for him to follow her outside. For a moment he wondered what surprise she could possibly have in store for him; it wasn't until he followed her outside and saw a brand new and improved bar sitting pretty on the porch to the left of the front door… his bar!
"You…you made me a new bar?!" he exclaimed in disbelief, going round the back and circling it with eyes as wide as saucers. The whole set up she'd built for him was incredible, with shelving underneath the bar top for his drinks, and even a small refrigerator at the very bottom to keep his drinks cold.
"Well, yeah", Meredith answered as if it was only obvious, "I know how much you liked the old one I set up for you, so I put together a new and improved one. Do you like it?"
For the first time in his life Beckett was at a loss for words; instead, he turned around and embraced her tightly, lifting her off the ground and giving her a spin as she whooped with laughter in his hug before setting her back down and giving her a passionate kiss.
"Holy crap… this is… I don't know what to say", he added breathlessly, his ecstatic expression switching from her to the bar. All this time she must have worked on it in secret, sneaking off in the early morning to finish it so quickly for him. It explained why for the past several days her bed was empty before he woke.
"I figure we'll be having a lot more foot traffic now that we're in a prime location", Meredith commented.
"I'm gonna have to find a steady supplier if we're gonna keep up with demands for drinks to keep folks coming", he replied with a smile, his strong arms wrapped around her hourglass waist, "You know, you didn't have to do this for me".
Her eyes glanced up at him with a look that told him she knew him better than that, "You're the one who's been saying you need to get a hobby. And you've always wanted your own bar, so… hopefully this one doesn't get burned down like the last one did.".
"Hmm, I suppose you're right", he murmured thoughtfully, feeling himself getting lost in her gaze and wondered if he should try again to kiss her. After a long moment of silence he began second guessing himself and doubt started to creep in; what if this was a mistake, what if he hurt her…what if the things he did in his past came to collect on his red, red ledger? Before he could pull away, Meredith raised herself on tiptoes to meet his parted lips with hers. So soft, warm and inviting were they that a simple intimate act like a kiss quelled his racing mind and replaced it with a singular thought…a need to have her.
"Mere…I want you", he whispered between kisses.
A simper escaped her lips, fanning the flame that was already burning hot inside him.
"Then what are you waiting for?"
Lying naked on the mattress with Meredith by his side, her head resting on his chest as she dozed, Beckett stroked the loose strands of hair away from her face and lightly ran the tips of his fingers up and down her back and arms. She sighed softly in response, the corners of her lips curving ever so slightly in a satisfied smile. Their passion started off on a somewhat awkward note in the beginning and Beckett was embarrassed that he only lasted a few minutes at best before losing control, feeling like he was hit with a rollercoaster of pleasure.
"I'm sorry…", he remembered apologising, but Meredith chuckled and stroked the side of his face.
"You can make it up to me next time", she said playfully, to which he was more than happy to oblige.
It wasn't that Beckett was clueless when it came to sex, he knew the basic ins and outs of the activity, but what he initially struggled with was pleasing his partner. Back when he was a raider there wasn't that much opportunity for fooling around, though when there was it was mostly the men who got the most satisfaction from it. He never forced anyone against their will, but the few times he did engage with another woman it was simply for both parties to relieve a nagging itch that needed to be quelled. With Meredith it was different, more intimate and conscious rather than an instinctual "let's just get this outta the way" kinda deal. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he was nervous, and that probably played a part in the awkwardness at first; he remembered how his heart raced in his chest when he removed her underwear and saw her fully naked for the first time, how the sultry look in her eyes as she bit her lower lip when she gazed at him kneeling in front of her made his stomach do a loop and his member twitch in anticipation.
Though he'd only lasted a few minutes the first time, he eagerly wanted to learn what he could do to make the experience more pleasurable for her. She showed him how to kiss her, to trail his lips down her neck as his hand caressed her skin moving down over her chest, abdomen and between her thighs. He found that she liked to be teased as his fingers lightly ran up and down her inner thighs before moving to her inner lips, wet and ready for his touch. He remembered as she let out a soft moan when his index finger stroked over her clitoris, moving gently up and down and round in circles to keep her guessing. Then an idea sparked in his mind: what if he used a combination of moves, gradually inserting his middle finger inside her while his thumb carried on stroking her clit in circles. The combination was an immediately success as Meredith's breathing quickened and he felt the walls inside tighten and pulsate around his finger as he pressed on at a steady speed, relishing in the sounds she made until she came in a back arching, hair grabbing crescendo, calling out his name in ecstasy. He made a note to himself to remember that move.
Her pleasure reinvigorated him, engorging his member and he found himself ready to feel her embrace once more. Just as he thought he was ready for what was to come, he was surprised that the sensation was different after Meredith came; this time she felt tighter, warmer, and he swore that with every stroke her walls were caressing him back. He remembered how good it felt when he pulled her hips up to his while he knelt in front of her, holding onto her pleasingly plump derriere to keep her in place. The memory of the wonderful sensation of being inside her, stroking her clit with his fingers as he penetrated her made his heart flutter. The second time he lasted longer, roughly a quarter of an hour by his estimates, and it was certainly a more fulfilling kind of pleasure.
"Hmm… does this mean you want more?" Meredith's voice roused him from his reverie and he hadn't realised that, as he was recalling their passionate activity, his member had, again, roused itself for another session.
"I could go for a third round…if you're up for it" he grinned at her, chuckling as she trailed her lips up his neck and playfully nipped his lower jaw that sent a shiver down his spine
She sat up and straddled him as he lay flat on his back, allowing his eyes to saunter over her body, from one delectable curve to another. He gently but firmly ran his hands up her thighs to her buttocks, giving them a good squeeze before moving up to her ample breasts. The feel of her soft breasts in his hands made his member stand to attention, pressing between Meredith's lips. He was so close to entering her again, feeling the tip of his cock finding the easiest path of entry and it was a sensation that left him wanting all of her. Instead of sliding down onto him, Meredith pulled her hips away, a naughty grin on her lips as she shook her head.
"Mmm, not yet, there's other things I wanna do", she whispered seductively.
"Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?" he asked with bated breath, his mind wondering what other erotic things she had in store for them both.
Although she didn't answer verbally, the look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. Leaning forward to kiss him, pressing her soft skin to his, she started with his lips then moved down his chin, throat, broad chest, and muscled abdomen. His breathing quickened as he lay there trying to keep still, not knowing what was coming next. Her lips trailed down further past his lower abdomen and, when she reached her destination, Beckett let out a small gasp at the wonderful sensation of her lips wrapping around his hard cock.
"…Fuck…", he uttered in a tense grunt, trying to keep his hips from thrusting up as Meredith took him in her mouth, her tongue stroking the tip of his head.
Feeling quite pleased with herself when she felt a reciprocating twitch from him, Meredith let out a soft moan as she took him deeper before rising back up.
"That feel good?" she asked innocently, her eyes focused on his surprised expression.
"Oh baby…", he exhaled, his chest heaving with every breath. Meredith took that as a yes and continued, incorporating a mix of suction and playful fondling of his balls, feeling him tense up and spasm as she included an added sensation of stroking him with a free hand.
"Baby stop…stop or I won't last much longer", he pleaded, firmly grabbing the hand she had on his cock. Judging by his grip, Meredith could tell he was a stroke and a lick away from losing control and, although she didn't want to stop, she decided to pause to give him a moment to catch his breath and brought herself up to kneel beside him. Shifting position to lean more on her left hip, she reached out and lightly ran her fingertips down his chest and abdomen, trailing over his defined abdominal muscles, watching him with a hunger in her eyes as Beckett regained control.
"You doin' alright there Beckett?" she inched closer to him, enjoying the power she had over him.
He blinked a few times and took some deep breaths to regain composure before answering, "I'm… Fuck… I never felt this good. But…you're spoilin' me rotten here, darlin'. I wanna make you feel good too".
"Don't worry Beckett, I already feel good just knowing I got you squirming in my hands", she gazed at him with a sultry look in her eyes, her fingers making swirling patterns on the short dark hairs on his chest while her other hand trailed up his inner thighs and back onto his firm shaft when she decided he'd had enough time to rest. "Hmm, I wonder what'll happen if I do…this?" she said in a feigned innocent voice, steadily rubbing the length of his shaft in an up and down spiral motion.
"Fuck! Oh Fuck!", the words bellowed out of his mouth in a combination of surprise and amusement as her strokes threw him into a whirlwind of pleasure. His mind felt like it was melting, body tingled all over as he lost control and a delicious warmth spread through his insides from his groin as he reached climax. When it was all over, he gently floated back down to Earth, finding himself breathless from the overwhelming stimulation and clutching the edges of his mattress. Through a hazy gaze he caught sight of Meredith's smiling face leaning in to give him a deep and sensual kiss. He placed a hand on the nape of her neck and pulled her to him, wanting nothing more than to lay there naked with her. She laughed in surprise as she lost her balance and he felt the weight of her lithe body press onto his. With a devilish grin he wrapped his free arm around her waist and expertly flipped her onto her back, resting his head in the crook of her neck and breathing in her scent.
"Oh baby… Where'd you learn to do these things?" he asked with breathless curiously. Since they'd met he didn't think her to be this wild and ravenous minx in bed; in all the time they'd lived under the same roof she'd always struck him as the more serious and silent type. She was smart, smarter than anyone he'd ever met, with a stubbornness to boot, but he never would have guessed that there was this whole other side to her. It made him wonder whether she'd learned these moves from other romantic interests which, although he didn't like to think about, would have made sense.
Meredith's nose wrinkled slightly as she grinned, sporting a naughty look in her gaze, "There was this book… in the Vault…"
'Of course it was a book', Beckett thought; he knew she loved to read, but given that she gravitated more towards specialised reading material, he wouldn't have guessed that that would be a topic of interest for her.
"Go on", he prodded while propping himself onto an elbow beside her, wanting to learn more himself and wondering whether it was one of the items she took out of the Vault.
"Well… it's a book on intimate activities aaand it was off limits in our library… Well, off limits to anyone who wasn't 18 or older. But one night a couple of my friends and I, being curious and slightly mischievous 16 to 17 year olds, we decided that we wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I mean, there's not that much to do in a vault, so when word from the librarian's son got out about there being a book on fun and engaging activities for grownups, we decided to…take a peak", she shrugged her shoulders, feigning innocence, "So we snuck in one night and picked the lock of the shelf and…once we opened it…nothing could have prepared us for what was inside that book".
"So…what did you do? What was in it?"
"We, uh… read through parts of it before almost getting caught by the librarian", Meredith's gaze darted away as her cheeks flushed with the memory, "It, uh… definitely left a lasting impression on all of us. Most of us found it funny and couldn't help giggling as we read through all the details about positions and technique, but some of the others became… more curious about the whole process and…I'll just say… the Overseer had to account for a few more mouths to feed", Meredith blushed as she recounted her mischievous youth.
"Ohhh… I see…", Beckett's eyes widened when he realised what she meant, "So, uhm… I uh, I-I'm guessing that you…you - did you…you know…?"
Meredith chuckled and shook her head, "I knew better than that. Besides, knowing what would wait for us after the Vault opened, I didn't really want to get stuck with someone from the vault".
"Ah, you were hoping for a night in shining armour to come sweep you off your feet. Instead, you got stuck with an ex-raider", he grinned, remembering how they first met.
"Nothing like that. I just… didn't find anyone in the Vault that appealing".
Her answer only stroked his ego further.
"Wait, wait… soooo, have you… you've never been with someone, before me?" Beckett wondered out loud, feeling a strange sensation the likes he'd never felt before stirring within him.
"Well… No, I uhh... I had a fling, I guess would be the best word to describe it, with Coulter about a year before the Vault opened", Meredith answered.
Beckett gave a shake of his head and blinked in surprise, the ego he felt not a moment ago shattering into a million pieces inside his mind, "Uh, Coulter?... Seriously?". Not only a capable and skilled medic, Coulter was a confident and attractive man with a strong jaw and build, something Beckett knew many women were drawn to and he was lacking in – apart from his physically strong build, that is. Inadvertently he was comparing himself to Coulter in his mind and finding many of his own qualities lacking.
"That's all in the past though", Meredith answered, noticing that the revelation made Beckett appear a little uncomfortable, so she propped herself up to meet him at eye level, "It wasn't serious… I certainly didn't feel the affection I have for you with him. You're the first man I've fallen in love with Beckett, and I mean that".
All Beckett could do in response was smile and lovingly stroke the curves of her body. He was never really good with words and he wasn't about to start now, but what he was good at was using his actions as words.
"Sooo… you got any positions or techniques in that old book that you wanna try out?", he asked, prompting a wider playful grin from Meredith.
"Well… there's this one position…."