Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter universe (by J. K. Rowling).
A/N: Umm. Hi? This isn't what I normally read or like to write, but you know, the mood struck me, plus Professor Snape's thoughts that night in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire have been making me curious for some time now.
I hope you enjoy, and please review! Also, don't let my rather . . . sad, dark, angst-filled? . . . fic ruin your mood and your day (as I once let a tragedy-type fic)! And this isn't my best—or is it?—so please go easy on the criticisms! Just kidding . . . or not.
2021.5.26.
Title: If You Are Ready . . . If You Are Prepared . . . (May 2021)
Was he ready? Was he prepared?
Finally back in his rooms, Severus laughed bitterly, his eyes on the dying fire in front of him, slouching slightly in the comfortable armchair, a tumbler of firewhiskey cradled in his hands, his limbs no longer twitching from the aftereffects of the Cruciatus Curse—the Dark Lord hadn't been pleased about his tardiness, and then he had used it again in an attempt to determine his truthfulness.
Of course he was prepared; he had always known the Dark Lord would be back, after all, and had trained himself in Occulmency and Legilimency (though he would not be using the latter) as well as advanced spells, going as far as to invent a couple new ones (which he had neglected to mention to Dumbledore, as they were a bit . . . Dark).
But he wasn't ready. He had been terrified (though of course no one could have known it) as he Disapparated in front of the castle gates and Apparated at the Dark Lord's feet. He had been terrified through the Dark Lord's questioning and the first test of his Occlumency abilities. He had been terrified until he had returned safely to Hogwarts and spoken to Dumbledore, assuring him of his place as a spy.
Despite his fear, he would carry out his duties as Dumbledore's spy well and ensure the Potter boy's safety from the Dark Lord and the other Death Eaters. He owed as much to Lily, his childhood best friend and the only person he had ever cared about (aside from his mother).
It didn't matter what Dumbledore said. The Dark Lord might have cast the Killing Curse, but he, Severus, was the reason he had been there to cast it.
Severus knew that.
And now he suffered the consequences. But Severus would not complain. He deserved it.
Bring it on, war. Severus Snape was prepared to take whatever it threw at him; Severus Snape was ready to accept the consequences of his actions; Severus Snape was working on readiness to be a spy, though for now, it was enough he was prepared to be one and consented to being one.