'You never did tell us and we never thought to ask, but why didn't Maddie go to school in Cyprus, when she seems to have settled in here and is loving it?' Ruth asked Ellie, having left Harry and Paul discussing life after the army, while they were walking along the shoreline, with the recently acquired family dog of dubious parentage. Maddie skipping along in front of them, with all the appearances of a child who didn't have a care in the world and since Ruth had last seen her, appeared to have grown several inches.

'It's not something that as her mum I'm proud of, but Paul was away on exercise for the first few weeks and nobody wanted to listen to me when I suggested that Maddie was being bullied. The division in rank that comes with army life doesn't apply to the children of army personnel, or at least it shouldn't, but it only took one child where Maddie was concerned, before it turned into a group who were singling her out as fair game.'

Ruth who up until then had imagined it had been their own personal choice that Maddie be home educated, was so shock by this revelation that the only words she could formulate were, 'how was that even possible and why didn't her teacher know what was going on?'

Questions which Ellie had asked herself at the time, but having failed to get answers that made any sense, had decided that whoever the children were, that they'd talked their way out of it, sounded better than they'd lied when they were only five years old.

Telling Ruth that 'it had been a week later that Maddie started to invent reasons for not going to school, her tummy hurt, her head hurt, but it really came to a head when she locked herself in the bathroom one morning and refused to come out. That after a lot of persuading and with the promise of a hot chocolate if she did, she'd told Maddie that she didn't have to go to school that day, but that she must do some drawing instead while she herself got their lunch ready. What of? Maddie had asked her, so she'd suggested that she draw her a picture of her friends. It was then that she told her that she didn't have any and burst into tears. That this was the moment when she and Paul had made the decision, that no matter how ill equipped they were to take on the task, they were going to educate her themselves.'

'Which makes it even more remarkable that you took Harry and me in,' was just one of the many thoughts that were buzzing around Ruth in head, but the only one she felt capable of verbalising. Her imagination running wild at the thought of Maddie being bullied and nobody taking any notice of Ellie. Her question, opening the door for Ellie to explain the why's and wherefores that had led them to inviting Harry to stay and at the same time, moving the subject away from the small girl who had caught up with her dog and was throwing him a ball to retrieve.

'We never planned it to be long term, or that after such a short space of time, we'd be visiting each other's houses as though we've known each other forever with both Paul and Harry retired. But Paul's a good judge of character and it didn't take him long to realise that Harry was in danger of caving in. A fellow soldier who he genuinely liked, was how he first described him to me. Someone who with each day that passed, he found he had more and more in common with. It's a lonely life when you reach the top of the tree as we both know and Paul had needed to isolate himself emotionally just as Harry had to get the job done. That Maddie liked Harry from the off and by extension you when you were discharged from the hospital was just the icing on the cake. So, by the time that Harry agreed to look after Maddie, in exchange for what we were doing for both of you, we were absolutely certain that if I went back to work, it would be in the knowledge that Maddie was in safe hands.'

'Why didn't you say something at the time?'

'I could ask you the same question, but you were in a worse state than Harry was. Bridget being brought in as last-ditch attempt to help you get over the trauma, never mind your physical injuries, meant that by the time you were ready to leave, with no thought that we see you again, there didn't seem to be any point. You and Harry were happy, as was Maddie and the rest as they say is history.'

'And now?'

'Wait until it comes to bedtime. I hope that you're French and your energy levels are still up to scratch, because she might be quiet now, but Maddie's got a new book that she wants to read to you and energy to burn.'

Which was fine and Ruth was looking forward to hearing about Maddie's new school from the child herself, but it wasn't until they were walking back and she was trying to imagine how children as young as five could be so unkind, that she'd plucked up enough courage, to tell Ellie what she imagined Paul was hearing from Harry. The decision that they'd made after Harry had explained his one to one with Barry. Something that had not only turned the clock back years, but made her wonder how some relationships and theirs in particular, were able to withstand anything that was thrown at them, when they'd been built on what had been an improbable roll of the dice.

'I don't know if you can remember Ros handing us a parcel on our wedding day and saying, it's nothing?' She asked Ellie, who like her was now enjoying the water of the ocean lapping around her ankles. The Atlantic, calm now, but when summer turned to autumn and then winter arrived, would come roaring in, making walks like this on the beach a real challenge. Not unlike the challenge that she was facing now, which having posed the question and not received an answer just a quizzical look, meant she had to continue. 'Well as it turned out it was far from being nothing. In the run up to being forced to leave London, I made sure that I got rid of anything that could link me to MI5, with two exceptions. My diary from the time when Harry and I first met in Baghdad and a photograph, both of which I intended to take it with me. But things accelerated too quickly, so apart from Harry's photograph, I sailed away with nothing other than my memories. One of our colleagues found the diary and rather than give it to Harry, they gave it to Ros for safe keeping. When Harry took it into his head to come and save me and subsequently retired, Ros must have decided it was time to hand it over. Along with all the paraphernalia that proved Harry had received a Knighthood. My only concern is that Ros might have read it, or if I'm being generous, was the reason that she insisted she came to Cyprus with Harry. Not that there's any way of finding out, or that it really matters now.'

'And?' Asked Ellie, as Ruth had obviously paused mid story and by the look on her face, was going to reveal something that had a bearing on the here and now.

'You have to understand that I was a lot younger than I am now and being singled out to go to Baghdad, was huge in itself.' Revealed a glimpse of the Ruth that she'd been then, not quite meeting Ellie's eye. 'It really was by accident, that we bumped into each other, but spending the night with Harry, pushed our liaison beyond the world of dangerous. More so, when he insisted that he walk me back to my hotel early the next morning and kissed me goodbye in an alleyway where anyone could have seen us. I really don't know how to put it into words, other than to say I was completely bowled over, captivated if you like and I know this sounds like a quote from an agony column, but it felt as though we'd been destined to meet. It was and still is, one of the most magical nights of my life. But it wasn't until I arrived home and here's where it gets interesting, that I thought about the possible consequences. We hadn't used protection and I thought what if I'm pregnant? Will I tell him? Will I even want to keep the baby? I wasn't as it turned out, but I'd written how disappointed I was. I freely admit that I pushed hard to be seconded to MI5 and as you just said, the rest is history.

'And Harry's read all this?'

'We took Ros's parcel over to the barn with the intension of opening it the morning. But after, well you know, I went to sleep. Harry didn't and for whatever reason decided rather than wait, to open it then. I'd been very explicit and I do mean very, in describing what we'd done and how he'd made me feel, right down to writing that if I was pregnant that I wouldn't have an abortion, just putting H as opposed to his name. My only regret now is that I didn't see his face when he read it. Anyway, when Harry woke up the following morning and I was still asleep, he took himself downstairs and talked it over with Barry. By the time that I came downstairs, he'd made up his mind that if I'd wanted a baby then, that I still did. That we should try.'

'And do you? Are you?'

'Let's just say if it happens, we'll both be happy and if it doesn't, we'll accept that it's not meant to be.'

Maddie arriving back with some seaweed that she wanted them to examine, preventing any further discussion about how hard they were trying and whether it's not meant to be had a deadline attached to it. Ellie thinking very in the first instance and no in the last.

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Harry and Paul were having a not dissimilar conversation, but it hadn't been preceded by the revelation that Maddie had been verbally bullied by the other children in her class or had reached the point of disclosure. Which meant that Paul was still listening to the events that had led up to Ruth being in Baghdad at the same time as Harry, whilst sitting in the garden, where unlike their wives, their only form of exercise, involved raising a glass of cold beer in toast to their reunion.

Until having freely admitted that they knew each other well enough, that they could say anything without comeback, out of the blue, Harry announced, 'I have some news.'

To which Paul replied, 'Ruth's pregnant isn't she.'

Harry's poker face, briefly face failing him by saying not yet. Before he gathered himself together again and said, that, 'he hadn't felt any sense of guilt, during or after what he was also describing as a night to remember because it had been consensual. That if he was being honest, which he was, then he'd been flattered. The only difference being that he hadn't considered the complications that might have followed. That when Ruth turned up on the grid all those years later, capable in a way that suggested he had to persuade her to stay, it had been as an analyst, or that's what he'd told himself. Two years later and not only was she the best analyst that the section had ever had, but she was filling his waking hours with a need that he was failing to hide. On the brink of doing something about it, that he'd hesitantly asked her out. Only to find out a few weeks later that she'd sacrificed herself to save him and when she been taken away from him, his world had fallen apart.' Most of which Paul of course knew.

'That Ruth's diary hadn't shocked him. If anything, it had made him understand why Nico had played such an important role in Ruth's life and that after they'd got over the, did we really do that aspect, he and Ruth had discussed the implications of having a child now. How it would impact on their every waking moment, would they'd concluded, be outweighed by the pure joy at having a child of their own.'

All of which was more than enough for Paul to raise his glass in the hope they'd got what they wanted.

.

A conversation that might well have been revisited as soon as dinner was over by all four adults this time, had it not been for Maddie, who now that the school holidays had started, didn't need to go to bed at a set time, so was telling Harry and Ruth about her school, the meals that they ate at lunchtime, which were apparently delicious and generally stringing things out. Until finally running out of energy and with her eyelids drooping, she asked Ruth, 'if she would come and read to her?'

To which Ellie replied, 'please' followed by 'hands, face and teeth first remember.'

Maddie nodding and then climbing on Paul's lap and giving him a goodnight kiss. Before she headed for the stairs with Ruth in her wake. Ellie and Paul, picturing a similar scenario where another small girl, or boy in their case, would be doing the same to Harry. As was he, if the way that he was gazing at a disappearing Ruth was anything to go by.

Which was why, 'we won't be offended if you go and rescue Ruth, Maddie will have her stay there all night if she gets half a chance.' Ellie told Harry, when Paul glanced at his watch and said, 'it was time they all went to bed.'

'In which case, I'll see you both in the morning,' said Harry who had been clock watching far longer than Paul, climbing the stairs ahead of their hosts and arriving outside Maddie's bedroom door. Deciding that knocking wasn't necessary, so walked in unannounced. Only to find Maddie fast asleep with Barry alongside her, who having done his job as far as Harry was concerned was back where he belonged and Ruth fast asleep in a chair. Jumping as the saying goes out of her skin, when he attempted to wake her quietly. Which meant that by the time they got back to their own room and climbed into bed, it was far too late to have a discussion as to how their almost parallel conversations with their hosts had been received.

Until the morning, when Harry the first to wake up in a house that wasn't his own, but knowing he could treat it as such, went downstairs in search of a cup of coffee to energise himself and to make a cup of tea for Ruth.

Not altogether surprised that Ruth had told Ellie what she was describing as, 'everything' as opposed to him who had told Paul just enough for him to understand what had happened in Baghdad and their decision to try for a baby.

Ruth more than surprised, when he told her that Paul had suggested she was already pregnant, merely by the look on Harry's face. The same expression that he had now, but as they were in an adjacent room to their hosts, unfortunately received the answer of, 'no darling.'

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Something which received the same answer, but to a different question, when having driven up the coast with a picnic lunch stowed in the boot, they were walking across the beach with Maddie skipping between them and she asked them, 'if they were going to live with them again?' A reasonable enough question from a girl who had spent several months in their company, on a not dissimilar beach in Cyprus and was happy that they were around.

A no, which she accepted for what it was, with or without the carrot of her coming to stay with them again in the winter when the snow would be on the ground. Something that they'd already discussed with her parents, but this time to spend Christmas together and with the boys. By which time there might or might not be another member of this combined family that they'd created, on his or her way? The only yet to be answered question.

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Thank you as always to those who have read and reviewed this story. A one off chapter as a follow up is already formulating which I'll post at Christmas if requested.