You would think that being a spy would be quite an exciting affair, but in reality it's unbelievably boring. Just ask Hawks, who's on his way to have a yet another alley meeting with Dabi. Those meetings used to be a lot more fun when sex was involved, but since Dabi broke their "sex pact", that was no longer the case.
You may think 'Why would Dabi break such a deal?', and that's a great question, a question to which Hawks does not have an answer to. Because in Hawks' mind it was perfect, he got a way to healthily relieve stress and learn more about Dabi (plus he actually enjoyed himself with Dabi), while Dabi also got a stress reliever and a way to figure out if Hawks really is a spy.
Nevertheless they still had jobs to do so the meetings didn't end along with the sex pact. They just became a lot more awkward and apprehensive. Last time Hawks brought food to the meeting, cause he skipped lunch, he also brought extra for Dabi. That was kinda their routine before, so it didn't feel weird to do it again, plus Hawks just genuinely wanted to do something nice for Dabi. The villain was obviously having a hard time with something but wasn't sharing anything with Hawks.
'It's not like I'd report his problems with the commissioner, that shit would stay between me and him.'
So Hawks wanted to feed the villain at least one meal in case he forgot to do so himself, but Hawks obviously missed some signs. Since Dabi straight up left when Hawks offered him food. Turned around and left. No information was exchanged, no excuse was given, nothing.
They later exchanged the information over the phone, which was how Hawks expected this meeting to go as well. And thus, he was very surprised when he got a text from Dabi asking why he wasn't at their meeting place.
Arriving 12 minutes late, Hawks didn't bother with pleasantries and got straight to business. It's not like Dabi cares, he didn't even bother to ask why he's so late.
Immediately after the short meeting Hawks was about to turn around and leave, but he stopped when he heard Dabi sighing behind him. Turning his head to face him Hawks goes "Is everything alright?"
'Why are you doing this, you know he wouldn't be doing the same for you'
"Yes birdy, everything is alright." Dabi responds in sarcastic tone, "The league's essentially homeless, all of the recruits these past few days have been nothing but worthless attention seekers, I've ran out of smokes 3 days ago and my seller is nowhere to be found, oh and you know,the fastest man alive was just a bit late to a very important meeting. So yeah, everything's just peachy."
On a normal day Hawks would rise to the bait and extract more info, but tonight something about Dabi's tone and general vibe was off. "What do you mean by, 'essentially homeless' ?"
"Means our hideout was destroyed by the earthquake." Dabi answered while tinkering with his nails. He was obviously itching for a smoke, his trembling hands gave him away.
'Fine, just this once.' A feather discreetly detaches itself from Hawks and it takes a few bills from Hawks' pocket before flying in the direction of the corner shop which Hawks frequents at. (The workers there know how to handle Hawks' last second shopping sprees.)
'Back to the League'
"Listen, I would let the League stay at my place, but" Hawks has to exaggerate since Dabi was starting to look somewhat hopeful, "My apartment is bugged," the hope turned into confusion real quick. "I'm also pretty sure there are some cameras around the place too."
"And just, who bugged your apartment?" Dabi didn't believe Hawks for second.
"I'm guessing the commission, but who knows, I might have a nemesis."
"I'm your nemesis."
"Great, that just means I don't know who's listening to me 24/7."
Dabi still looked like he didn't believe shit Hawks was talking to him. "If you don't believe me about the bugs, fine. I don't care. But for the love of food, do not. I repeat Do Not, go to my apartment. '' Especially not with the league, cause it's dangerous and you will give your location away." Hawks was very stern with this. He will not let the League get caught, not when they are the only way he could possibly fight the commission.
"Fine," Dabi looked sincerely for once, "I'll stay away from your place."
The feather with the pack of cigarettes made it back to Hawks, where, under the cover of the night, it attached itself to the bottom edge of Dabi's coat. The feather was carrying all the weight so Dabi noticed nothing.
For once Hawks could say that he trusts Dabi to keep his promise, they've had a civil conversation and Hawks spoke up about all of his concerns and Dabi seemed to have listened to him, truly, and Dabi would never intentionally put himself and the League into a dangerous situation so maybe-
Dabi is a suicidal asshole.
It's 11pm and Hawks is just now leaving his office. He would've stayed for a bit longer but everyone's on earthquake watch, so it's for the best if he gets as much sleep as possible now, since he won't be getting any once the earthquakes start again.
Hawks realises something is wrong once he sees his living room light, someone is in his apartment.
Hawks flies at max speed at his apartment building and he sends feathers to open a window, which he flies through, and to turn off the lights. He lands silently just in front of the window, his visitors are in obvious distress if the panicked "AAaaaGGGGGHHHHGHGghgghghGHGh"s are anything to go by. It takes Hawks' eyes a moment to adjust to the change in lightning but when they do he finally sees,
the League of Villains sitting in his living room. Dabi who was alone on a sofa, Shigaraki and Spinner who were sitting side by side on the floor beneath Dabi, Twice and Toga who were on the sofa opposite of Dabi with a bunch of magazines between them and Mr. Compress and Kurogiri who were detached from the group and were hanging out in the corner of the living room.
They would've probably been lounging around but they've gotten a wake up call from Hawks, and are now frantically trying to make sense of what has happened and to turn the lights back on.
Hawks silently move around them and goes for the light switches on the wall. 'Better turn those on before Dabi remembers his quirk.'
"Dabi, your quirk," came an exasperated command from Shigaraki.
"Shit," was the only thing Dabi could come up with before he lit his palm on fire.
'Probably gonna have to take an aggressive approach to this, would be easier to explain to the commissioner tomorrow.' Because Hawks is 100% getting called into a meeting tomorrow.
"OY!" Hawks shouts as he slaps the lights back on, and he waits a second for the League to adjust their eyes (he's not an asshole), "Don't burn down my apartment." He holds prolonged eye contact with Dabi.
"What do you want from me?" Hawks takes a very defensive position and is preparing to fight as he looks over the group in his living room that are shocked at his actions.
"I'd like to know why was your home bugged?" it was Shigaraki who asked in a confrontational way.
"Bugged?" Hawks was playing dumb and they all knew it.
"Yeah, all those listening devices that I, oh so graciously took down for you," Dabi answered and pointed to the coffee table which had a shit ton of burned listening devices and cameras on it.
"Oh," that was genuine shock coming from Hawks who used all of his feathers to check every nook and cranny of his apartment for any bugs that Dabi may have missed. Even more surprisingly there were none to be found.
That got Hawks thinking,
'How th am I supposed to explain this to the commissioner, the league breaking in, that's explainable. But this shit.
Won't bring me to my grave, nahh cause that'd be easy.
This shit will land me yet another session in the training room.
And just what am I supposed to say when they ask about "How did Dabi know about the bugs and cameras?"
How tf am I supposed to act when they bring it up? Cause like I'm not supposed to know about the bugs. But I can't act too dumb and I certainly can't be angry about them, so I guess I'll have a neutral opinion bout them.
That shit gets boring real quick, is there no other way to play this?
I mean unless I'm willing to sacrifice my head for this, then no.
UGH are you serious? You know what, maybe I am willi-
How about we deal with one situation at a time. Remember Shigaraki still asked about the cameras and shit. He also wants to know what's going on, at least you can use this as a way to gain more of his trust without giving up too much information.
He's smart and he could figure out the truth.
Not if you're smarter than him, don't act like the commission didn't teach you how to respond in this situation. They know nothing about you, so do what you do best and play them like fiddles.
Fine.'
"Damn," Hawks states as all of his feathers return to him, "You got all of them."
"Obviously, I don't do things half-heartedly, Birdy."
"Back to my question," Shigaraki ordered, "Why?"
'Time to see if the commission's training is paying off'
"Well, let me first see who was even spying on me." Hawks said casually as he walked over to the coffee table and grabbed a burnt camera to examine it up close.
"So you don't know who done it?" came another question from Shigaraki.
"No, but I'm about to find out." Hawks answered while still examining the camera, seemingly too nervous to look Shigaraki in the eyes.
"And all of them just appeared one day?" another fucking question from Shigaraki.
"No, They appeared bit by bit. I found them the moment they appeared but at the time I was still an inexperienced hero so I left them there as a sign of growth."
"Explain."
"The more cameras and bugs appeared the more I was deemed a threat. The week I became the No.3 hero, like 15 more bugs appeared." Hawks exasperatedly replied.
"And you just let it happen."
"Wasn't much I could do, this isn't a common experience, and if it is then no one's talking about it." Hawks put the camera back on the table and refused to meet the eyes of anyone in the room.
"And?" asked an inpatient Dabi. "Who's responsible?" asked a surprisingly patient Shigaraki.
"The commission."
"Are you a 100% certain?" it was Kuoigiri who asked this time.
"Yes," Hawks took the camera he was previously examining and showed the commission's logo, which was hidden by a thin layer of paint, to the group, "I'm 100% certain."
"Well, that's them alright." commented an unhelpful Mr. Compress.
"No shit." came from Dabi.
"Ok, ok," Shigaraki waves at those two to shut up, "That's all great, but once again. Why?"
Hawks shrugged his shoulders, "They don't trust me."
"Why?" urged Dabi.
"They've never really trusted me," Hawks reminisces, "They believe that a son of a criminal will never be able to be a hero." Hawks paused to let the information settle.
"I mean they were right but they didn't have to be such assholes 'bout it."
"What did your parents do?" Kuogiri asked very cautiously.
"Ohh. So," Hawks was 'caught' by surprise, "Like my mom was mainly a bitch and your typical alcoholic nothing special 'bout her but my dad was like an 'infamous' (Hawks did the finger quotes.) thief. For one he was more of a murderer than a thief, and he also got arrested years ago, ergo he was shit at his job."
Toga who was reaching for her phone asked, "What's your fathers name?"
"You'll find nothing if you search for him." Toga's face contorted into an overdramatic pout. Loudly sighing Hawks goes "Takami the tief." Toga immediately got to work. "The commission took down any articles about him years ago. Once I started to gain fame they had a meeting with me where they talked me into signing a NDA about him, they promised to keep his name off the radar so that I could 'Properly prosper' in this business."
Toga turned off her phone and placed it upside down on the table, effectively signaling her lack of information.
Hawks yawns quite loudly and goes, "Is there anything else you want to know?" he looks directly at Shigaraki while asking.
"No."
"Good, cause I'm going to bed." Hawks leisly strolls towards his bedroom.
"Already, Birdy?" Dabi the fuckface goes, "It's not even midnight,"
"Some of us have places to be in the morning," Hawks turns to face Dabi, "just to let you know, if I do get called into a meeting with the commissioner, I will be relying on you to come up with a reason to why Dabi, the big bad terrorist, would simply leave my apartment without setting it fire."
"I thought that it was your job to lie to that bitch."
"It is, but ever since you broke the promise of not coming to my apartment, because it's dangerous and stupid, you know have to deal with your consequences." Hawks replied smoothly, and that got on Dabi's nerves, the working ones.
"Try not to catch the couch on fire Dabi." and with that Hawks was off, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight" came the reply from everyone except Dabi.
-Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep-
Hawks awoke from his slumber due to the sheer annoyance from the repetitive beeping. Grabbing his phone from the nightstand he turns his alarm off, except the beeping doesn't stop.
'OH'
'Earthquake warning'
Jumping off his bed hawks immediately starts changing into his flight suit, years of practice mean that he go it it on in a matter of seconds. Feathers moving around his room grabbing his jacket, headphones, gloves, glasses and work phone, Hawks leaves his room ready for flight and he's managed to silence the beeping that was from his work phone.
He practically sprints to the living room and ends up slamming into a couch that wasn't there before, he also ends up effectively shocking everyone there.
"What the fuck, Birdy?" asks Dabi, "What got you up this late?"
"Earthquake warning." Hawks replied quickly.
"WHAT?" asked Shigaraki from his place on the floor in front of a playstation (that isn't Hawks's).
"Don't worry!" Hawks had to shout over the noise and panic that grew from the group, when that didn't work he used his avian lungs and whistled a tune so loud and obnoxious that everyone stopped in their tracks.
Hawks looked at Dabi who was still laying on the couch not outwardly bothered by the news or the noise, Hawks had enough experience in reading Dabi's body language that he saw how nervous Dabi really is but is hiding it from the league. Presumably to not cause even more panic.
'That's kinda thoughtful.'
Hawks says to Dabi, "The bathroom that's connected to my room is the safest place in this apartment." he then looked at everyone else, "Go there, and stay there. You can lock yourselfs in if you want, there are emergency rations there but the earthquakes shouldn't start immediately, so grab your shit before they really hit."
The league looked around in unison before they broke off to raid the kitchen for food and the rest of the apartment for some entertainment.
Dabi who finally got out of the couch walked to Hawks before quietly explaining, "The last earthquake hit us pretty hard, the younger ones," He nodded his head to Toga, Spinner and Shigaraki (Who were the most frantic of them all.), "Took it the hardest."
Hawks took 6 of his feathers and gave them to Dabi with instructions, "Give them all one of these that way I'll be able to find them in case of emergencies. Snap one of these in half and I'll come as soon as I can."
Dabi nodded solemnly. Counting the feathers he goes, "There are 7 of us."
"Yeah." Hawks had one foot on the window sill, "You still have the feather that came with the cigarettes?" he asked.
Dabi nodded his head.
"I can still feel through it, so if you keep it on you I'll be able to find you."
With that Hawks jumped out the window and began the usual earthquake protocol.
It's been 4 days since then and Hawks has still to return. Now Dabi wouldn't say that he's anxious about the bird dying, no Dabi knows that his bird will live. He's seen the birdy on TV on every news
channel. It's just that he doesn't know if he'll remember the way back with how many times he's hit his head on rubble.
The area where Hawks lives wasn't near the epicenter so nobody was hurt and the only damage to the apartment was minor. By the end of day 1 it was estimated that their area was going to be free from any aftershock and so far that seems to be the case.
The league is still staying in Hawks' apartment, all of them waiting for the bird to show up before they take their leave.
"Dabiiiii," whined Toga for the umptheet time, "let me snoop."
"No." was all Dabi had to say. He'd already had this same conversation with Toga and Spinner and Twice at least 50 times in the last 3 days.
Dissatisfied with the answer she got Toga turned to whine at Shigaraki, "Shi-gi," But before she could continue Shigaraki also shut her down "Shut up, you know you can't snoop around his apartment." he explained without taking his eyes off the game he's playing.
"But why?" she turned and whined at everyone.
Finally Kurogiri came to rescue, "Because we are trying to build a relationship of trust between us."
"But didn't Dabi break that when he came here after he said he wouldn't come." Toga said, and fuck her for deciding to remember that little detail but not the rule of "no snooping/stealing". Dabi is once again reminded what menaces younger siblings are and how glad he is that he doesn't know about him.
"Exactly for that reason, we need to do more to get us on equal playing fields." Kurogiri calmly explained.
Toga scoffed at that, "Aren't we villains?" she asked.
"We're villains not assholes!" shouted Shigaraki from his place on the floor.
Toga was obviously still unsatisfied with the answers she was given but luckily for Dabi's sanity Kurogiri stepped in and asked her, "Do you wanna help me prepare our dinner?"
Food being more important than her curiosity (and annoyingness) Toga agreed and off the 2 went to the kitchen.
'Finally' thought Dabi as he reclined onto the couch and pulled out his phone, 'Time for some peace and quiet.'
Dabi's favourite pastime is annoying his birdy and just because Hawks is out there doing his hero work doesn't mean that he gets a free pass from Dabi.
overpriced heating rod
ur place suks
its so boring here
dont u have a life
i looked in ur closet
nd am disaponted with ur sex toys
with all ur money u couldve bought urself something better
no.2 hero, no.1 piece of ass
im sorry
i wasnt aware that u were going to look in my shoe box
i might have bought better stuf just for u
overpriced heating rod
dont worry birdy
i got the best toy uve ever had
no.2 hero, no.1 piece of ass
oh oh o
is that a present u got me?
overpriced heating rod
yeah
its my dick
(Dabi never claimed to be original, just bored.)
no.2 hero, no.1 piece of ass
thats it?
overpriced heating rod
what?
u dont like ur present
no.2 hero, no.1 piece of ass
i always like ur dick
m just too hungry to eat it properly
overpriced heating rod
giri been cookin for the last 4 days non stop
trust me
uve got enoug food to last weeks
no.2 hero, no.1 piece of ass
fuck
that sounds soo god rn
did he make chicken?
overpriced heating rod
obvi he made chicken
no.2 hero, no.1 piece of ass
yay
Fatigue began to catch up to Dabi, who found himself drifting off.
That was until Hawks strutted into the living room in nothing but a pair of low waist light grey sweatpants that were lop-sided on the masterpiece that Dabi calls Hawks' hips, Dabi could even see the happy trail that went from Hawks' belly button all the way down...
Bringing his eyes up (It took some willpower but Dabi got there in the end.) Dabi saw that Hawks was drying his hair with a towel and was talking to Shigaraki about something.
"When did you come back Birdy?" Dabi asked uncaringly that he was interrupting their conversation.
"Like half an hour ago." Hawks answered as he took his towel and placed it somewhere with his feathers. Dabi couldn't be bothered to look, not even to satisfy his curiosity, not when his bird was finally back.
"I just got out of the shower like 10 minutes ago." Hawks was still answering his question. Suddenly remembering something, Hawks chirps before asking, "Is there really food?"
'Birdy must really be hungry if he's choosing to ignore that chirp.' Dabi thought in concern.
"Yeah." Dabi sat up, "Toga and Kuroigiri just went to make something but I'm sure there's chicken you can eat." Dabi watched as Hawks began to practically shiver from excitement, or cold, it really is too cold to not wear a shirt.
Before Dabi could comment about Hawks lack of dress Toga burst into the room asking something about dinner.
"Hawkie!" she cheered, "You're back!"
"I am." Hawks matched her energy, "What's this I'm hearing about food?"
"Ahh, yeah." Toga cleared her throat and then she promptly yelled, "Dinner's ready!"
After they got over their temporary deafness Spinner asked, "Already?"
"It was just leftovers from yesterday." Toga answered before returning to the kitchen.
As villains without income, they've all gotten used to eating leftovers and cold, bland food. Dabi wasn't expecting Hawks to throw a fit over it, but he also wasn't expecting to not even take a second glance at it. He just went with them, as happy as ever and didn't complain about a single thing when Dabi knows that Hawks could be eating 5-star meals everyday.
'Also when the fuck did he put on a sweatshirt?' Dabi did a double at Hawks' (now) clothed chest as the man followed Toga into the kitchen.
The rational side of Dabi's mind told him how it was probably just that a feather brought the shirt over and Hawks just put it on, but Dabi still thought it was weird how he didn't notice it. He was paying attention to Hawks and all, yet he still didn't see any feathers or shirts moving through the air. He didn't know what to think about Hawks' uncanny ability to be so quiet. So he filled that information for later and he also followed Toga to the kitchen.
The original plan was for the league to leave after they saw that the bird came home safely but since the food was already served they left after they ate and cleaned up.
Well, most of the league left, but not Dabi. When the others asked why he was staying Dabi just said some shit about recruitment and they left him there without too much fuss.
Not that Dabi was complaining, he couldn't. Not when his pretty bird was already on his knees ready to give a proper apology to a fight Dabi had already forgotten.