Force Dyad

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noun: dyad; plural noun: dyads

-something that consists of two elements or parts.

Chapter One-First Contact

Ben knew before his mother spoke that she was going to send him away; the sparkle of his tenth birthday was quickly extinguished. He watched sullenly as her eyes moved slower and became down-cast, skimming the floor, unable to meet his devastated gaze. It was also evident in her voice too, which was quieter, with a meekness that wasn't usually part of her speech pattern.

"It's for the best, Ben. In time you'll come to see that."

Ben walked back to his room, with his head bowed, and the inky black strands of his shoulder length hair falling into his eyes. He knew it was pointless arguing. Once Leia Organa Solo made up her mind there was no changing it. It was her unwillingness to capitulate that made her such a good senator-as a mother…. Ben curled up in a foetal position on his bed and let himself cry like he was a small kid again. His world had shattered and he didn't know if it would ever be right again. When the wracking sobs subsided, he went to the fresher to wash his face with cool water. The hollow eyes reflected back at him from the mirror frightened him and he fled back to his bed and hid away for the rest of the afternoon.

When the stars came out to play and the evening took on that aroma of the night, Ben finally woke up again from his sea of troubled dreams. His hair fell in tousled waves around his sleepy face. Drowsy and only half-awake, he looked blearily around the room. Rubbing his tired eyes with the insides of his palms, he swung his legs out of the bed, wondering why neither of his parents had come to check on him. They were both home for once-the only present he asked for was to have all his family around him on his special birthday. He hadn't been able to supress the joy and sparkle in his eyes the morning he woke up to find they had given him what he wanted. His excitement and happiness had lasted for most of the daylight hours as all the adults cossetted and spoiled him with their love and attention. Ben had never known anything like it in his life. He almost let himself believe that he really was the centre of his parent's universe, that the voices in his head were wrong, and they really did love him-until his mother delivered the bad news that was going to change the course of his life.

Despite their best efforts to build a normal life for him, his parent's led busy lives in their active professions. His father, a smuggler before joining the Rebellion, was unable to stay in one place for long, while his mother became occupied with routine senatorial duties- a respected senator in the New Republic, the government that arose after the Battle of Endor and that had served the Empire a final defeat during the Battle of Jakku around the time of Ben's birth. Even though his mother did her best to come home every night to tuck him into bed, often she was too exhausted even to do this much, her mind too preoccupied and distracted to listen to her young son's attempts to engage her attention.

Feeling routinely ignored and increasingly lonely, Ben had taking to acting up from a young age in an attempt to claim their attention, even if it was in a negative way. Being so Force sensitive meant that his tantrums were more intense than a normal child's and he often saw a look of fear and anxiety in his parent's eyes as they tried to deal with his increasingly dark moods. How often had he overheard them, whispering together in dark corners, as they voiced their concerns about how to deal with his rages. The way they spoke about him made him sound like a monster. Often Ben would retreat back to his own room in tears after listening in to one of their discussion. He was a bad, bad boy. It was no wonder no one could really love him. He would often try to be better, but being continuously ignored made him slip back into old habits.

And now his mother was giving him the ultimate punishment…she was sending him away.

A shaft of light flooded his room as the door slid open, breaking him out of his melancholic thoughts. Ben saw the shadowy figure of his father on the other side.

Han hesitated for a minute when he saw that Ben was awake. "Hey, kid." He said gruffly. "Are you having trouble sleeping again?"

Ben shrugged his thin shoulders carelessly. Han sighed as he approached the bed and perched awkwardly on the edge next to his troubled son. "It'll get better, kid." He said in an attempt to be reassuring. He paused again as he looked at Ben's bowed head.

Not for the first time Han wished he had a better rapport with his only child. It had been a lot easier when Ben was a small boy-back then his son had idolised him, there had been a real fatherly bond between them-often young Ben would follow him around, playing with his lucky gold dice. He had built up a close affinity with those closest to him, such as Han's first mate, Chewbacca, who cuddled Ben when he was toddler. Han looked back on those days fondly. Ben used to delight in kicking Chewbacca's legs and pulling on his fur, to which Chewbacca responded by holding Ben close. Han remembered the way his son affectionately referred to the Wookie as "Uncle Chewie," who mentored him as he learned how to fly a speeder and fire a blaster. During target practice, Chewbacca and Ben would fire stun shots at a haphazard dummy made of rocks. Ben also showed great affection toward Lando Calrissian, who he referred to as "Unca Wanwo."

"Dad?" Ben's low voice pulled Han out of his reverie. "Why do I have to go away?"

Han reached out and tenderly touched the back of his son's head. "You make it sound like a banishment. You'll be with Uncle Luke. He'll be able to offer you the guidance we can't right now. It will be okay, kid. You'll see."

Everyone kept saying to him that all will be okay, but he still felt anxious. It set off an electrical storm inside his brain that, quite honestly, was painful. It felt different from a headache and felt the same as intense sorrow, perhaps as a sort of frozen panic, with nowhere to go. So, though Ben tried to appear calm, his sad eyes were pleading with Han to intervene and speak up on his behalf. But even though his internal voice was crying to his father- "Help me!"-Han showed no reaction, leaving Ben to stew in his silent turmoil, his soul left in unbearable pain for the perceived lack of real love.

"I actually came here to look in on you before I left." Han revealed.

"You're going away already?" Ben was completely devastated. His father had only just come back home.

"A job's come up that was just too good to turn down." Han continued huskily. "Anyway, you'll be heading out with your uncle tomorrow anyway. And I've never been one for long drawn out goodbyes."

Ben knew his father leaving was his fault. There were so many things he could, should have done differently. All this, coupled with his perceived failures as a son, dominated his mind. He thought about his actions and words, dwelling on every minute little thing he had done wrong as he tried to determine what made him so unlovable. Festering guilt rendered his mind ineffective, and he closed his eyes in despair as he tuned out his father's voice and sank further into melancholy.

As his bad dreams lingered, dancing in the way that dreams do, Ben arose to the sound of crying. As his feet hit the cold floor, he looked around his room in confusion, trying to find the source of the noise. What he saw astonished him. In the middle of his darkened room, bathed in a strange dappled light, was a baby's crib. He stared and stared at it, wondering where it had come from. Maybe he was still dreaming? This wasn't like his usual nightmares. He was hesitant to approach, worried about what he might find inside the cradle. Eventually curiosity won out over fear as he edged closer, holding his breath as he peered over the edge.

Ben took breathing for granted until the day the baby stole the air from his lungs. He exhaled shakily as he reached out with his hand and watched the new-born's tiny fingers curl around his little finger. The baby peered through brand new eyes at what must be such a strange world after life in the womb. Her legs kicked in a tiny jagged motion, finding nothing but air. When she stretched her other hand, it barely rose above her head and Ben thought how strange it all was. She was getting agitated again, her eyes scrunching as she began to cry. Was he supposed to pick her up? He wanted to, but was scared to break her. She was like a little doll. The longer he hesitated, the more fretful she became. The poor little thing was scared and all alone. Ben could relate to that feeling. His hesitation disappeared as he carefully picked her up and cradled her against his shoulder. This was a new person, she was so tiny, so vulnerable, and he was already filling up with love for her.

Ben walked around his room for ages, soothing the fretful new born, until she was dozing on his shoulder. Exhausted, Ben cradled the back of her head as he placed her carefully back in the crib. She seemed peaceful now. He looked at her tiny toes peeking from under the thick blanket. He couldn't believe how tiny new humans were, how vulnerable, how awe inspiring. She was like a little ray of sunshine in the darkness. He liked that analogy.

"Rey." Ben mumbled as he tucked the soft blanket around the baby to keep out the cold. "That's what I'm going to call you. Goodnight, my little Rey of sunshine."

As Ben crawled back into bed, his last thought as he drifted off to sleep, was there was no way his mother could send him away now. Someone had to look after the baby. She would be too busy. He slept peacefully for the first time in weeks, certain in his mind that he was going to be able to stay now….

But when he woke up, he found that both the crib and the baby were gone.

A/N-thanks for reading!