Chapter 7: The Sharpest Lives (My Chemical Romance)
I had closed my eyes for barely a second before I was shaken awake.
I sat up and immediately regretted it, my head started throbbing but I knew that I couldn't ignore Marco.
"Just do your thing, let me sleep." I grumbled as I opened my legs.
He chuckled and then lightly smacked my thigh.
"Not now, I need you to get up! You start work in a half hour."
"Huh?"
"At least you showered, that makes this easier."
"What are you talking bout?"
"I know it was too much tonight, I got jealous but for what I need you to do, I need to get over myself. I'll make it up to you tomorrow Princesa but tonight, I need you to look alive."
I was disoriented as Marco ripped me from the bed and started to dress me.
I just sat there and stared blankly over his shoulder as he slipped on my shoes.
"Marco, baby, where are we going? It's late. Can't we just cuddle or something? I don't even have a job…what job would even be open this late?"
I knew that I was rambling just as bad as he was but aside from being an emotional drunk I also couldn't shut myself up when I needed to and he seemed just as frantic as I was.
"Well, Ana, since you took it upon yourself to drink a whole bottle of vintage wine I didn't get the opportunity to tell you. Mr. Evans owns a strip joint on the upper east side. Very upscale, high class and you just auditioned for the job tonight."
I looked at Marco and shook my head.
This was not something I planned on EVER doing.
Marco raised his hand and I flinched back.
He smiled softly and pushed my hair back.
"A promise is a promise, querida."
"Marco, please, I can't ever be a successful lawyer if I am stripping. You know that. Please don't make me do this!"
I begged and pleaded with him and it just resulted in him laughing at me.
"Oh, no worries sweetheart, you won't be stripping publicly. You are VIP, you will only do private dances and but mainly serving as an escort. You'll go home with a few lucky high rollers and be theirs for the time they pay for."
My head was clearing as I stared at him.
"So a prostitute?" My voice came out firmer than it had been in the two weeks I'd been here. It reminded me of the old Santana...the one I became without him. He looked me in the eye sharply but didn't hit me.
"An escort. There are actually rules, they have all been STD tested and will sign an NDA. I know your folks don't believe in birth control but I gave you that shot back when we first got here."
"Shot?"
"You were passed it out, I know you hate needles. It should keep you covered until August."
"What?!" I was glaring now, arms crossed over me. The alcohol was making me bold.
He put his hands on my arms and pulled them apart.
"Oye, I will allow you to keep half of everything that you earn. Think of it as my gift to you for being a good girl and doing what you are told!"
"How much are you charging?"
"$500 for a bj, $1000 for the front, $2000 for the back."
"Is Mr. Evans paying you for tonight?"
His eyebrow raised and then he brought his hand to my throat and squeezed just enough for me to gasp.
"You drank his payment...so tonight what you make is my half."
He playfully patted my cheek and then pressed his lips to mine.
I felt my stomach lurch and I ran wildly to the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before I lost my dinner. I could taste remnants of semen mixed with wine and that only made for me get sick again.
"Alright, get up, brush your damn teeth and let's get moving. I've had enough of the dramatics for one day."
I stood shakily to my feet and pointed at him.
"I have one rule, I refuse to break it."
Now his arms were crossed as he glared.
"Only men. Men are just for pleasure, women are for love. I don't want to give myself to any woman that isn't Brittany. You know I love her and that hasn't changed. So if you want me to do this, men only. Deal?"
He looked hurt but then nodded.
"Deal."
We stood in the bathroom and he watched me as I did my makeup.
"Is this necessary?" He asked, his hands on my waist.
"Yes. It's all infallible, no smudging...don't you want me to look good when I make you money?"
"Not too good, they don't want to fuck their wives. Go with a pink lip not a red."
I met his eyes and could see that he was serious.
My hackles were raised but he didn't care.
"Can you get me a drink at least?"
"The wine wasn't enough?" His eyebrow arched.
"Please, Daddy?"
He was putty now, checkmate. I went back to my makeup as he left me alone for the first time since he dropped the bomb on me.
My phone was right where I left it and I wanted to be able to check it, maybe B had called me back but then he was back with more than I had asked for.
He brought a mirror with lines of powder on it and a tumbler of brown liquid.
"A drink and something that will make your first night a breeze."
"Is that coke?" I asked, turning to him as he laid the mirror down on the vanity.
"This is going to be the kind of job where you throw away that attitude and bend to the will of others. You'll need to be malleable."
"I can't get wrapped up in that, Marco, Sue will kick me off Cheerios, no doubt about it."
"Then don't get hooked. I've been doing it for years but only when I want to...you'll be here for only a few weeks really, there's no way you become a coked out whore."
"Gee thanks, Daddy."
He didn't like it this time, he gripped my throat and pressed his lips to mine before stepping back. It was a move that was quick but lasting.
"If you'd rather be sober for the night and feel everything, I can accept that, Princesa."
"No thanks."
"That's what I thought."
He took out a rolled up bill and then bent over and snorted a line.
I watched and waited for some after school special moment to happen, like he would overdose or something but he came up smiling and then the look of malice was back in his eyes.
"Your turn."
I took the tumbler first and washed down my nerves as I looked at him before holding out my hand.
He gave me the bill and I followed his example.
The rush was immediate and the feeling was familiar. The lightness, the hunger, and the sheer happiness I felt reminded me of every time I saw Brittany smile. If this was all it took to feel like Brittany was with me always then I could do it. I just missed her so much.
Before he could ruin this moment of happiness, I snorted the second line and when I went for the third, his hand came around my wrist.
"That's enough for now."
I dropped the bill and then looked at him. He smiled at me and suddenly I had the urge to fuck him, a first definitely.
"You're hot, you know that?" I said and he raised an eyebrow. I leaned in and kissed him hard, my hands dancing down his suit and pulling apart his belt. "I need you...please?" I begged.
My makeup was pushed to the floor as he lifted me onto the sink and pressed into me.
I couldn't get enough as I allowed the happy feelings of Brittany was over me.
"More, more, please?" I begged him as I scratched as his back.
"I like you like this...shit...if I had known." He was rambling now and I was experiencing my first hallucination...those crystal blue eyes and that wicked smile she would give me before strapping up and drilling into me.
"Fuck! Yes! Faster, YESSSSSSSSS." I hissed against his neck as I watched her.
We fucked until the timer went off on his phone.
I was shaky on my feet as he took off my soiled panties and put them in his pocket.
"You won't need these, Princesa." And I just laughed and looped my arm through his.
"Let's go make some money, Daddy."
The strip joint was in an old hotel and there was no main stripping floor like I had thought.
Old rooms were turned into private suites, with beaded curtains instead of doors to the rooms.
I walked arm in arm with Marco after letting him fuck me in the cab, while I practiced being silent. My legs were barely holding me up and the buzz was starting to wear away a bit.
"I need more." I whispered to him as we walked into an old honeymoon suite that had it's own bar and sitting room. "Is all of this for me? You shouldn't have." I purred into his ear.
"It is and so are they."
In the sitting area just outside the bedroom sat seven men, all dapper and patient as they looked down at their phones.
"All of them?"
"Just see them as what they can give you, Princesa, combined you are looking at $7000. Of course you owe me for tonight so instead of your $3500, you'll get $3000."
I felt my eyes go wide. "And they're clean?"
"Yes."
"Can I get some more courage?" I asked and he smirked at me.
He pulled me into my own private room, very burlesque and tasteful. There on the bed was another mirror. Marco pulled out a baggie and poured out four even lines.
"You get one line per two guys...and since there are only seven out there...that last guy will be me. Got it?"
"Where will you be?"
He pointed to a chair in the corner. "Right there, all night just in case anything goes south or they try to get more than they paid for."
I ran my hand over his arm.
"So you're the muscle?"
"Mmmhmm. Are you ready?"
"Let me have one of those and then I will be."
He held the mirror up and handed me a bill.
I snorted like a pro and he smiled.
"Good girl."
And this time the turn in my stomach didn't come. I wanted to jump him...and he knew it.
"Send the guy in...I need it...please?"
He licked his lips and then kissed me hard.
This would be light work, I had been fucking around for years back in school with less experienced guys.
Marco was limiting me to a select group of guys with money and rules.
God forgive me and help Brittany understand that this is me trying to survive.
And profiting off it.
With three lines down and one guy to go, I didn't take the last line...instead I mounted him and rode him until he passed out.
Marco kicked the guy out of the room and then pulled out a change a clothes for us.
"Let's shower."
I followed him into the bathroom and let him wash my body from head to toe.
"I love you." I said to him and he actually looked me in the eyes.
"Don't lie to me, Princesa."
"I do, Daddy...you take such good care of me."
I caressed his face like I did with B and he was swooning.
"All I needed was for you to give me this side of you, if you can be a good girl like now...this will be an easy summer."
"And a profitable one?" I asked as I combed my fingers through his curls.
"Yes." He sunk his fingers into me and I fell against him. "Don't make a sound...you have to practice being quieter...show me what a good girl you are." I looked up at him and bit down on my lips not making a sound. "Very nice."
I learned right then how happy he was when I just let him take all the control and the stress of being on my guard faded.
Why couldn't I just do this all along?
Why fight?
He wanted me to be his and this ring on my finger signified that I was, so I just needed to let him have me.
If I just moved like I was on autopilot, turned off my mind and just did everything Marco told me to do, word for word, everything would be easier.
I don't remember much of my night after that, just more coke and more fucking until I was back in our bed demanding more of him and true to his word, Marco let me keep $3000 bucks.
I woke up the next morning thirsty and horny as fuck but Marco was gone.
So I rolled over and picked up my phone. He'd been so busy that he had forgotten to police my phone for once.
I had one voicemail and opened it right away.
"Hi baby, I'm sorry I missed your call. I was dancing and I cried like a baby when I saw that I missed it. I have been praying for you every day and can't wait to see you at camp. Please don't forget that I love you and know that I forgive you for just needing to survive. I think I get it okay. I forgive you and I love you always. Double pinky promise. If fighting him makes it worse, don't fight...I can't believe I'm saying that but I need you to not get yourself killed. Okay? I'm not going to call again because I'm afraid he's hearing this. Just...I love you so much. Okay? Bye."
I listened to it over and over again before finally deleting it.
The last thing I needed was to give him a reason to not trust me even more so I put the phone back where he left it and went in search of something to take the edge off.
Only I didn't know where his stash was, so a drink would have to do.
He'd opened up a world I didn't know, a Santana I didn't know and I wasn't sure I would ever be the girl that Brittany love again but I knew that I still loved her.
And what was most important was that he knew that she was my endgame, no matter what game we were playing now.
I showered and then got dressed in Marco's robe and sweat socks, not really wanting anything but him. My mind was tying him to coke and coke to Brittany faster than I thought possible. He reminded me of home, of her and I needed him more than I thought I ever would.
I was finishing off some toast and a glass of wine when the door opened.
The clock read noon but here he was, a smile on his face and malice in his eyes.
I smiled back at him and then he dangled a baggie.
Suddenly I was salivating.
"Miss me?"
"Yes."
"Show me." And I tried, I dropped to my knees but he lifted me back up, "Save that for our friend...what I want is you bent over that counter top...take off the robe."
He set up line after line for me and then waited for me to snort one after another. Four in a row this time and he then began to fuck me in every way that he could. I could feel her with me and just kept begging for more.
Needing more, needing her.
He was drunk off of my need for more and kept going until he physically couldn't anymore.
I rolled off the counter and down onto my knees again, not because I wanted to but because my legs wouldn't support my body.
"Since you can't seem to stay off your knees," He said, caressing my hair as I rested my face against his leg. "You'll be happy to know that work tonight will be right here at home. Mr. Evans and his son will be here for dinner and they are going to pay double to have their way with you."
"Double?"
"Your cut will be $7500, if you can do what they need you to do. You'll of course get to have your new friend too."
"I'll do it." I said and he chuckled.
"Good girl."
This became the standard. I would take as much coke as Marco would supply and he got a willing puppet to do his bidding. He liked me stoned because it was easier and less noticeable than beating me.
Mr. Evans and his son were the only ones that paid double for me and so I was at their mercy for most of my time. It was at those times that I had the most coke and tried heroin for the first time.
Marco began to develop stricter standards after I nearly overdosed, no pills, no needles.
So just blow, day in and day out. Brittany's face was my only hallucination, my true drug and the more I was flying high, the more I got to see her.
My pockets were getting fatter and my financial dependency on Papi was going to become nonexistent, which is why I broke my rule and allowed another woman to have me...she was gentle like Britt and spent the time worshiping my body. It was the only time I felt like I was cheating and afterwards I'd have enough blow and booze to knock out.
I kept making myself promises in my sober moments, which were becoming less than my high ones, promises to get clean...to be committed to Brittany and ONLY Brittany.
But I just had to get through this time.
I made contacts, I had favorite clients, one even let me fuck him with a strap...that was the only one that Marco didn't watch. He said it made him uncomfortable and I began to use that time to my advantage, taking bits of power back as I let my lust consume me.
When I got home each night I jumped on Marco and let him go at it all night long, until he finally decided to keep me this way.
Night after night we went on like this, he would come home, I would serve him dinner, service him and then he would shake a baggy in my face.
I began to enjoy my nights and sometimes even my days when a high power executive needed arm candy to take to lunch. I began to forget that there was a life waiting back home for me in Lima.
My life was in shambles and I saw no reason to fight him, so I just stayed high.