Love No More
The characters/world of Boku no Hero Academia belongs to manga artist Kohei Horikoshi.
Izuku stared once again over at the laughter of a group of teens surrounding his Kacchan. Sero Hanta, Denki Kaminari, Mina Ashido, Eijiro Kirishima. All of them were with Katsuki Bakugo, laughing about something and Katsuki just shaking his head at their usual antics. He had that usual trademark scowl of his, but around them, he was open. Especially with Eijiro. Ever since a year ago he caught them having a private moment that he didn't have any right to seeing, and saw EIjiro confess his feelings to Katsuki, and Katsuki pretty much just slammed his lips against the redhead and shared his first kiss with the boy. It had really hurt him, like a knife in the chest. That was the day that Izuku's particular flowery disease that mostly affects teenagers during their adolescent years began to grow much worse.
And he's hid it from everyone. He did not want anyone to see that he was slowly suffering and drowning under blood and cherry blossoms. Because they would then learn that the person he was in love with would never return his feelings because he was dating Eijiro Kirishima, Class A's resident sunshine child (nicknamed by Mina).
He really hated the sight before him.
He hated that Katsuki had people who he called his friends whereas he wasn't considered one in his eyes.
He hated them for easily breaking down the blond's barriers whereas he would get nothing but scorn, ridicule, or hurtful words.
They don't even know what kind of man Katsuki really was before UA. How he would always just want to be his best friend, but he would get nothing but hatred, barbed words, and scornful glares.
EIjiro had no idea that he was basically dating his childhood bully. A bully who Izuku was so much in love with despite the hate he'd receive from the young man. It was rather tragic.
"What are you looking at, Deku? What ya want?" Katsuki rudely stated, breaking Izuku from his internal thoughts.
"Hey, you wanna join us, Midori-bro? We're going to play some video games," said Eijiro, grinning that sunshine smile of his.
"Yeah! It'll be fun with more players," said Hanta.
"Ugh! Why do you gusy want shitty Deku for, huh?" Katsuki rudely called out to them.
Mina giggles. "C'mon! Midoriya can join us and have fun, right?"
"Fuck no! I'd rather go to my room," Katsuki said with a scowl.
Izuku's heart was finally breaking.
The pain in his lungs were constricting.
He could feel the bile threatening to spill up from his throat.
He could taste the metallic tang that was his blood and the barbed-like texture of the petals threatening to blow chunks.
"Why…?"
Katsuki glared at Izuku.
"What?" he rudely called him out. "The fuck you muttering about, Deku?"
"What is it about them that you'd hang out with them but not with me? Huh?"
Katsuki narrowed his eyes. "Because you're annoying!"
"Hey! C'mon, Baku-bro, be nice," said Eijiro, trying to play referee. "We're all friends, right?"
"Yeah right, with Deku?"
Izuku felt the final barb of pain pierce his heart.
"… All I ever wanted is to just be able to smile to you and you'd smile back. All I want is just to have a normal conversation that doesn't end with you yelling at me," Izuku said, his voice growing louder.
"Bakugo, dude," whispers Denki.
"What's wrong with me, huh? Why do you hate me so much? Huh, Kacchan?"
Because the entire class was in the common area but scattered around, the attention was bring drawn to them. But now, Izuku didn't care anymore.
"All I ever wanted is for us to have the friendship we had when we were little! Long before your stupid Quirk manifested!" he screams at Katsuki.
Katsuki got up from his seat.
"The fuck you say, Deku?" he growls.
"Ever since you got your Quirk… you stopped being nice to me! I fucking hate it! I fucking hate it!" he screams even louder. And everyone else were shocked to hear Izuku swearing. "You stopped being my friend when I never wanted to lose you. I was your childhood friend, your best friend! We grew up together because our moms knew each other since high school, and I over a year since we started going to UA I was easily replaced by him!" He pointed harshly at Eijiro. "Why the fuck does he get to be called your best friend when I knew you my entire fucking life? Huh?"
His voice was rising, and so was his anger.
"I fucking hate it! I hate that he and the rest of them can easily come to you and sit down next to you and yet when I try to you turn me away with glares and angry words, or threaten to blow me up! I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT!"
The tears started falling from his eyes.
Katsuki marched right up to Izuku, glaring. "Deku-"
SLAP!
Izuku had harshly slapped Katsuki across the face.
"SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I HAD IT! I FUCKING HAD IT WITH EVERYTHING! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I CONTINUE TO HURT MYSELF TRYING TO GAIN YOUR APPROVAL! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I CONTINUE TO DELUDE MYSELF INTO THINKING YOU'D EVER LOVE ME LIKE I LOVED YOU!"
It was quiet now in the common room, everyone staring at the two of them.
"I'M TIRED OF BEING HATED! I'M TIRED OF STANDING ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN! I'M TIRED OF WANTING YOUR APPROVAL! I'M TIRED OF WISHING FOR YOUR LOVE! I'M FUCKING DONE!"
He was going to scream more, but then a burning sensation welled in his throat, as he started hacking and coughing, backing away from Katsuki as spittle flying from his mouth until finally he spits up… orange and black tiger-striped cherry blossom petals. Petals stained with blood. Those around him gasped.
"Oh my god… are those flower petals?" whispered a horrified Ochako.
"He's got Hanahaki," Momo stated dreadfully.
The anger that Katsuki had, simmering to a boil when Izuku's yelling got him more and more riled up, bled away like a popped balloon seeing the petals Izuku spit up after his brief choking/coughing moment. He was shocked. He's heard of Hanahaki. It was a weird type of disease that infected individuals. Often it's more common in adolescence. Many are even unaware that they have it until it manifests in the form of petals being coughed up.
The angry eyes Izuku had still simmered, a glare still potent to project how much his hatred bled through him.
"Fuck… guess now you all know." He laughed cruelly at himself. "I've hidden it for so long… for a year now. I started having petals spit from my mouth after the day you told me to jump off a roof… Bakugo. Though it didn't really hit me until I saw you with Kirishima."
The lack of the usual affectionate 'Kacchan' put Katsuki's mind into a tailspin. Others stared, having heard what Izuku had casually stated.
"I was hoping… somehow… you'd say you love me… that you'd want me back as your best friend, but now I finally understand that will never happen. I've been replaced by a bastard who dyes his black hair red."
"Midoriya, you shouldn't-"
"Shut up, Ashido," Izuku coldly cuts her off.
Eijiro frowned, not liking this at all. He felt hurt hearing all of this, but he didn't like Izuku telling one of his friends to shut up.
"Hey, Midoriya, you have no right-"
He grabs Eijiro's wrist and the teen winced in pain when Izuku squeezed. The teen cried out a bit when Izuku actually fractured his wrist without even using his Quirk.
"Shut up, Kirishima. Just shut the fuck up and stay out of it!"
He lets go of Eijiro and glared at Katsuki. Eijiro backed away quickly, holding onto his injured wrist with tears welling up in his eyes.
"I'm done. I'm done with everything. I'm done hiding my Hanahaki. I now know I'll never be loved back by you… so I'm going to go ahead and tell my doctor I want the surgery."
Momo gasped.
"Midoriya! Wait! If you take the surgery to cure Hanahaki that way…"
"I know. I'm well prepared to lose my emotions," he said, his voice sounding dead. He then looks at Katsuki. "Go ahead, Katsuki Bakugo. Stay with your friends. Stay with the boy who replaced me. Because I no longer care anymore. Because from this day forward, you are dead to me."
Izuku turned around and walked away from everyone.
"Deku! Wait! Don't you fucking dare take that stupid surgery!" Katsuki shouted at him.
"You no longer matter to me, Bakugo. And Kirishima, have fun taking the love of my life from me."
And up the stairs he runs, right to his room, and locking it so no one can enter. He made sure to lock the mezzanine door before going for his phone and opening his contact list. At the very bottom of the list was a contact entitled UNKNOWN in all capital English letters.
He hits the call button on his phone… and waited for the call to connect…
He coughed again, as flower petals spilled forth. It was his worst one yet, even with the medicine he had been taking to offset the more grievous symptoms.
"Hello?"
Izuku finally stopped coughing, and took a moment to get air in his lungs.
"This is Izuku Midoriya calling. I'm finally ready to take the surgery. The person I am pining for will never return my feelings to me."
"It's been a year, Midoriya-san. If you are ready, I will need to get parental consent."
"I'll tell my mom and have a date scheduled. But the sooner, the better. I'm done suffering, doc," Izuku whispers at the end, as tears fell down his cheeks.
An hour later, Izuku had left his room, dressed up warmly for the chilly autumn weather. The moment he was spotted, Ochako rushed up to him.
"Deku-kun! Where are you going?" she asks, very concerned. Her girlfriend Tsuyu was also concerned for the green-haired teen.
"I'm going to see my mother. Since tomorrow is Sunday, we don't have to worry about school. Don't worry, Ochako, I have your number and you and Tsu have mine. I'll call you later when I get to my mom's house."
He smiles sadly.
Ochako hugs the teen.
"Please… reconsider…"
When she lets go, she sees him staring over at the self-named Baku-Squad. He was staring intently at Katsuki, who looked up and catch Izuku staring at him. Izuku looked away as he opened the door.
"See you tomorrow."
And the door closed shut.
Ochako frowned.
"Tsu… I'm so worried…"
"I am too, Ochako…"
Izuku never returned for the next six weeks. No matter what they did, none of their calls reached Izuku. They all were redirected to voicemail, and text messages remained unanswered. Throughout it all, Katsuki was the most affected by Izuku's disappearance. Until the bell rang on a Monday morning, and everyone looked over hearing the door open.
In stepped a completely different Izuku Midoriya. His eyes now were dulled, no longer full of life. He was not smiling anymore. He showed zero emotion. It was silent in the room as Izuku walked to his desk and sat down and took his notebook out.
"Midoriya…?"
He turned his head to the person who called out to him.
"Yes, Todoroki-san?" he asks.
No one liked how dead Izuku's voice sounded now.
"What happened?"
"I have my Hanahaki removed. I'm all better now. Though now I'm suffering from breathing problems due to the light scarring of my lungs, according to my surgeon who performed the operation. But it's a small price to pay to get rid of a deadly disease. Do not trouble yourself over me now."
The door opens again and in steps Aizawa.
"Good morning, sensei," Izuku politely spoke to the man.
"Midoriya? I was told of what happened to you." Aizawa was quiet for a long tense moment. "You're not supposed to be in class for two more weeks."
"I wish to start catching up, sensei. I will not participate in Heroics 101 during these two weeks. If you would inform me of my homework assignments, I shall get them completed and turned in."
Aizawa stared.
"Very well, Midoriya," he finally relented. "Come see me after school ends for your assignments. Any notes you need, ask your classmates."
"Of course, sensei."
"Deku!"
Katsuki couldn't handle it anymore, as he turned around, and he grabbed Izuku by his shirt, hoisting him from his seat.
"What the fuck is the matter with you, huh? Why'd you get that stupid fucking surgery!" he shouted.
"Bakugo! Stop that, now," ordered Aizawa, but he was ignored.
Izuku's rather melancholic stare unnerved the blond.
"My doctor told me that my unrequited love was never there for me. They did not love me, so I was going to die. I chose to take the operation so I can continue living. Sure, I no longer have emotions, but my life is better now. I can still fulfill my role as the next Symbol of Peace. That is all that matters, Bakugo-san."
He stared at the hands grabbing his shirt.
"Could you please release me, Bakugo-san? We are interrupting sensei."
Katsuki roughly lets go of Izuku and he stormed out of the classroom.
"Bakugo!" shouts Aizawa.
"FUCK YOU!" he screamed back at Aizawa as he ran down the hall.
Izuku merely straightened his shirt, and re-fixed his tie, which half the class now noticed it no longer looked unkempt and messy.
"I am sorry for that, sensei."
And Izuku sits back down without another word.
Aizawa sighed wearily.
Katsuki ran into the restroom, panting heavily. His hands slammed down on the counter top, as he screamed himself hoarse. He hated it. He hated what had happened to Deku now.
Why!? Why the fuck!? Fucking shitty Deku! You… How could you do this!?
Tears ran down his face. He choked on his sobs, as his thoughts spiraled into dark ones. Memories resurfacing of all the times he would always yell at Deku, or curse him out, and worse were the older memories of him growing up and always beating up Deku or scarring him with his explosions. He looked up and saw how miserable he appeared. With a scream, he smashed his fist into the mirror, cracking the surface. He hated the monster that stared back at him.
"Pray to God for a Quirk in the next life, and take a swan dive off a roof!"
Then suddenly his throat began to itch and he started coughing. He coughed and coughed until it subsided once he finally had spit up whatever got lodged in his throat. He stared down at what it was he hocked up.
"… What the… fuck…?"
Lying innocently in the sink was a single white cherry blossom with a small green stripe along the center.
The tears renewed as he started crying again.
But soon his crying began to turn hysterical.
He was dating Eijiro. Eijiro was his lover.
And yet the single cherry blossom in the sink told him otherwise.
It was rather tragic in a twisted way.
Wanted to do quick BKDK Hanahaki with Unrequited Love and Doomed Love. I wrote this up in fifteen minutes.