Merlin could not usually see auras. Nor could he always see smells or hear colors. But today was different.
Now he was in the kitchens shouting that he was a wizard. Kitchen staff was trying to hit him with various utensils.
"Merlin! What are you doing?" shouted Arthur.
"The colors told me to talk to the food!" replied Merlin, because the colors had in fact given him this noble mission.
"Cut it out!"
"I can't, my lord of crowns. I must preach wisdom to the sustenance of the castle." Merlin turned to the cabbage and muttered something about coleslaw.
"Then the colors have certainly chosen the wrong emissary." Merlin didn't hear Arthur's derisive statement. "Come along, Merlin, lest the cooks carve you with their blades, or I do." He grabbed Merlin by the scruff of the neck and dragged him from the kitchen.
Merlin threw his arm around Arthur's shoulder. It was a good thing, too, because a moment later, Merlin lost his footing. He stumbled over his feet and dropped like a sack, but for Arthur's shoulder, he did not fall to the cobblestones.
"Keep your feet, will you? And wipe that grin off your face."
"I'll certainly try to, crowny."
Why are you calling me crowny?
"Because you're the little king, or have you forgotten that, lord of prats?" muttered Merlin.
"What are you on about now, Merlin?" Arthur asked. And why are you still smiling?
"You wear a crown, my lurd. Crowny crwony crnwoy. Smiley Merlin is best Merlin." Merlin was babbling at this point.
"Gaius! Something's wrong with my manservant."
Gaius turned around. "What seems to…" he hesitated, taking one look at Merlin. "Ah. That."
"So you know what's wrong? That's a relief. I need my servant chipper and more useful than he is now, which is saying something, since he's dreadful, honestly-"
"No, excuse me, my lord. I have no idea. He seems to be… Drugged perhaps?"
"I can see the unicorn! He looks like a horse, and he says you're a dollop head," Merlin dispensed his wisdom unto the room. "I'm a wizard, look!" Then he pointed to the broom cupboard and scrunched his face up real hard.
Gaius' face morphed into one of apprehension and of fear. Don't do it, Merlin, he prayed.
"Don't worry, Gaius," said Merlin with a smile, and the broom cupboard door exploded.
"What on earth just happened?" shouted Arthur.
"Nothing, milord," blurted Gaius.
"His eyes are glowing gold."
"No they're not."
"They are," Arthur stood firm.
"Yes they are!" said Merlin. "See?" Then the kitchen table caught fire. "I had some mushrooms earlier. You want some? I think they let you see thoughts."
Gaius slapped his own forehead.