Chapter 32:For the Love of the Money (The O'Jays)
By the end of the day, I was exhausted and while I was supposed to stay at the house with everyone until the reading of the will the next day, I couldn't hang.
I dropped off Britt and Q at their houses and went straight home without saying a word to anyone. I felt anxiety until I was in my own space with the deadbolt on the door and the curtains drawn.
This was the exact opposite of any other Friday night that I had ever had. Usually I was jumping at the bit to get the heck out of the house but right then, I was fully fed up and if I was going to have to deal with the will reading tomorrow then I needed to regain my sanity.
Are you ok?-Q
No.-S
Should I worry?-Q
No. I just need to be alone.-S
Say less. I'll distract your other half-Q
Thank you!-S
Are you mad at me?-B
No. Just need rest. Alone.-Santana
Oh-B
You're enough. Right now, I am not. I love you.-Santana
Call me if you change your mind.-B
I will.-Santana
I was just about to turn off my phone when I got a call that I could not ignore.
"Yes, Sal?"
"You're not going to be happy about this but the reading of the will needs to be pushed back until the investigation into the shooting is closed."
"What? Why?"
"There's red tape to go through."
"How long?"
"Three weeks."
"What?!" I felt so unhinged.
"I have availability the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I will make sure all things in Atlanta are settled by then."
"Okay, thanks for doing this Sal."
"Thank you for understanding. Be well, Santana."
Even though I hadn't set foot in my place in a few days, it still smelled stale and the food I had left in the fridge was starting to smell.
I could feel the itch in my skin and the need for something that I hadn't touched in over a month now. Who was I kidding? I couldn't be home alone with coke on my brain.
"Hey." B said, her voice sounding flat when I called her only a half hour after telling her that I just needed to be alone.
"Hi. Um...what are you doing?"
"Sitting here with my parents...we are talking about things."
"Oh. Well go do that...it's more important."
"Thanks."
"Just know that I am calling Quinn instead. I called you first because you are my future wife and I love you. I will support you in any way that you need but it is unsafe for me to be home alone right now. Do you understand?"
All traces of attitude vanished. "You're craving...I can have this talk another time if you don't feel okay to be alone."
"No. Your parents are amazing people, who love you so fucking much and they deserve your attention and your love. I will call Quinn and I will be okay."
"Let me know when she is there, please?"
"I will."
"Good. I love you and thank you for sticking up for my parents even when I'm being a butt head."
"I love you."
"Take care of our baby, Ana and be kind to yourself."
I was holding back a sob, but I just nodded as I sat there bouncing my feet, trying to focus on Monty swimming in his little aquarium.
Once I hung up with B, I immediately called Q.
"Yo, what's up?" She said, sounding hype.
"Worry." I said.
"I can be there in five minutes. What do you need?"
"You. I feel like I'm losing it...there's so much snow in this town...I could find it so easily."
"Santana...is there any...snow in your apartment?"
"No."
"Stay right there, I'm on my way."
"Can you um...stay on the phone with me?"
"Yes."
By the time that Quinn was at my door, I had paced my whole apartment 22 times, counted the floor tiles in the kitchen 52, and I had thrown out every bit of smelly food from my fridge.
She tried to use her key as she breathed heavily in my ear, but the door wouldn't budge.
"San, the deadbolt!"
"Right...hold on." I walked from my bedroom making it the 23rd time I had paced and then unlocked the door.
Quinn looked at me nervously, checking my eyes for what she wouldn't find and then pulled me into a bone crushing hug. She pulled back again and then dropped a kiss on my lips.
I smiled at her as I stepped out of her embrace and walked to the kitchen, grabbing my discovery and putting it on the counter between us.
"What's that?"
"I don't know how it got here but I didn't touch it."
"You promise that you didn't even taste it?"
"Yeah...I paced instead."
"And this is everything?"
"That I know of, I swear." I felt new tears after hearing myself lie to her.
Fuck.
"Where did you find it?"
"Quinn...stop it...I didn't mean to say that."
"Where?" She asked again as she took off her coat and hung it on the rack. I sighed and turned away from her, knowing she'd follow me. Instead of going in my bedroom, I opened the closet and pulled my cheer bag off the top shelf. It still had the dust from the cabin on it.
"Inside pocket." I said and then I leaned against the wall.
She knelt on the ground and scoured the bag like I had fifteen minutes ago, then she pressed her hands flat on the bottom back and forth until her hand stopped right at the crease where there was a little tear, one that I discovered when I searched it.
I looked away from her as the tears came.
"San...tell me again."
"Q...I didn't use, I wanted to, so I searched, and I found what I was looking for."
"Okay." I watched her as she stuck her finger in the tear and then with all her strength she ripped the bottom of the bag. I rubbed my hands together at the sight.
"I...fuck."
"We need to get you to a meeting."
"No...please...I was good. I swear! Fuck...please, Q?"
"Get dressed, we're going."
"What about the coke?" I asked.
"It will be gone when we get back, trust me."
"Okay."
When I got back to the apartment, Mami was waiting for me and true to Q's word, the bag was gone. I had expected B to be there too, but Q said she hadn't answered.
"Hey." I said and Mami just pulled me into her arms and held me.
"I am so sorry, Ana."
"No, I should be...you don't need this right now."
"I am a mother, I don't get to pick and choose when you need me...I've learned that."
"Where's the bag?" I asked stepping back from her and walking back towards the hall.
"It's gone, Ana." Britt said as she came out of the bedroom.
"B...I'm sorry."
"What did I tell you about apologies when it comes to this?"
"Right...okay. So, what now?"
"Now, you let me lead." She said softly to me as she caressed my face. I'll be staying here for a few days and your mom agreed to stay in the guest room.
"No...I don't want anyone to sacrifice for me."
"Too bad!" Q said as she kicked off her shoes. "I'll be sleeping on the couch too. You need your village and we are here for you."
I leaned into Britt and was crying my heart out.
This was best, and Q had kept the circle small, no sisters or girlfriends...just my mom and my future wife.
If this is the response to telling her to worry, I appreciated it because the real source of me learning to love comes from the way that Quinn has always loved me.
Unconditionally and without malice.
I hope B was seeing that now.
Burying my father should have been the end of my mourning but I hadn't been able to fully deal because there was a storm brewing between my sisters, my mother, and me.
When I broke it to Mami that the will reading had been moved back, I told her that I couldn't handle being the one to break it to my sisters and she promised to take care of it.
I had mistakenly put all of this on my back and my near relapse showed me that I wasn't strong enough for this. Not right then. Having Britt in bed with me, holding me...reminding me that she loved me was more than enough to keep me grounded.
Her parents had pushed aside their anger and frustration because I was like a daughter to them, they were putting me first in my time of need and I would move heaven and Earth to return the favor.
We laid in bed two nights later, after my sister's had angrily gone back to their homes, cursing my mother for trying to keep them from their money.
"Why do your sisters not like your mom, I don't get it? She's really nice."
"Damariz and Brenda have tolerated Mami for my father's sake, but they have never been fully kind to her."
"But why?"
"My parents met at Columbia. She was a law student from Ohio and he was a med student from Puerto Rico. They fell in love instantly. He had just divorced his first wife and prayed for a second chance at love and then just like that, they met at a mixer and the rest is history."
"Okay but what does that have to do with your sisters?"
"Well at the time that he met Mami, Brenda and Damariz were a few months old, it had been his ex-wife's last-ditch effort to fix their marriage. Papi says that he married her when he was still a teenager after he got her pregnant with Sandra and then immediately after, they had Celia."
"Wow."
"Yeah, for a time he didn't believe the twins were his because their mom was cheating on him with some other guy. He refused to leave his daughters though, he took Sandra and Celia to New York with him."
"Wow."
"Yeah, so they have resentment. He didn't even meet them until Mami urged him to find out the truth, at that point they were toddlers and they looked just like Sandra and Celia."
"And you."
"Well yeah, I was a baby at the time and there was no denying that I looked like them."
"Mami says that I always reminded Papi of his first wife and that's why he tried to punish me with his fists when he heard rumors around town. He basically thought I was a whore and he was out to fix me."
"Little did he know that he was the one making you go look for love."
"Yeah...he did play a part in that."
"That really sucks, that still doesn't give them a reason to be mean to her."
"I know that my sisters see my mom as a home wrecker, but I know for a fact that she isn't that type of person. Mami was the driving force behind Papi's success. His first wife convinced him to quit med school, but my mom stood by him and supported our family while he finished."
"And she made him get to know your sisters."
"She did, and he visited them a lot. I remember him being there instead of with me."
"I'm sorry, baby." She said pulling me close to her as I sighed.
"It's okay, I'm really more worried for Mami than me. Thankfully she still has the love of Sandra and Celia. They were old enough to see things as they happened with their own eyes and have always embraced me from afar."
"You all seemed okay at the funeral."
"That was acting. Trust me, if you could have seen the glares that Brenda was throwing me...they were vicious."
"Really? You're their sister though."
"I mean, Damariz has tried over the last few years, like when I was recovering from my boob job and she let me stay with her, so she could monitor me. When I needed them to be sisters, they have been apart from Brenda. She is Papi's baby with his first wife and I am his baby with his second, it's like a competition that only she is participating in."
"Do you think now that your dad is gone it will change?"
"I don't know B, to this day I don't like to be in a room alone with Brenda for too long after she trapped me in a closet and called me garbage face when I was eight. Sandra says that I can trust my sisters, but I know that this is the one thing that we can't agree on. Money changes people."
"Easy for you to say."
"I know, I'm spoiled and that's not really my fault. It's thoughts like that, me being ungrateful and malcriada that make Brenda and Damariz hold an extreme hatred for my mother and me. For the most part I can handle it even though sometimes I can't stand the way my mother can be, she is still my mom. I am her only child. I am her flesh and blood and I won't stand by and let her be attacked by anyone."
"Good and I will be here to back you up just in case anyone gets crazy."
"Thanks, B. I might take you up on it although, the will reading will happen while you're gone. What if I break afterwards?"
"You won't...as long as you reach out to your village like you did the other day when you felt like everything was falling apart, you'll be fine."
"Okay."
"And I will get back here as soon as I can. I promise you."
"So, you need another week then, Ms. Lopez?" I loved that even though on school records I was Santana Vega, Figgins called me by my maiden name.
"Yes, I have the reading of the will this week. It's a short week anyway with Thanksgiving, I just need to know that it won't count against me since this pushes me to three and a half weeks."
"Currently your gpa has only slid down a half a mark from 4.5 to 4.4. A few more days won't hurt your grades. I will mark it as excused."
"Thank you!"
"Take care of yourself, Ms. Lopez. Your presence is missed around here, I think you kept these promiscuous cheerleaders in line. They will be here waiting for you to whip into shape."
"I'll work on that. Thanks, Principal Figgins."
"You're welcome. I will keep you in my prayers."
The reading was just two days away and I was trying to stay centered. Mami had been staying back and forth between her house and my apartment every few days to keep an eye on me when Britt had to report back home. At first, I was grateful for the constant vigilance but once I got over that craving, I felt like I was okay enough to function.
Britt and Mami weren't so sure...barely allowing me to breathe between the two of them. Q had taken a step back in a major way, trying to give B the space to be my other half but when she stopped by, it was obvious that she wanted to just curl up in bed with me and comfort make out with me.
I always hugged her so tight when it was just the two of us because I missed her comfort way more than I had realized. Sometimes, I wished I could love her like I loved B...she gave me a level of love that I just couldn't let go of and I was doing my best to give it right back to her.
This was one of those moments.
She was headed to Ohio State this morning with Judy but had time to come hang out with me before Mami got here. When she came inside, I shut the door and then shoved her back.
"What is going on?"
"Why don't you comfort make out with me anymore?"
She turned red and then shrugged.
"Because it keeps the peace between me and B...plus I'm trying my best to be faithful to Rachel."
"Just one kiss?" I asked, and she bit on her lip.
"Fine but you better keep it to yourself."
"My lips are sealed now hurry up before Mami gets here."
She rolled her eyes and then grabbed my face, kissing me deeply enough for me to grip onto her jacket. Something about her kiss had changed, there was an electric between us and when I pulled back, I could tell she felt it too.
I felt like I was going to start panic sweating if she didn't wipe that star struck look off her face.
"Wow...that...shit...um...was better than ever. You've been practicing with another girl...I think...no...I'm totally jealous right now."
"We can't do that again...okay?"
"Okay...yeah...I mean we keep doing that, I might be in trouble. No more kisses."
"Good, now what did you make for breakfast...I'm starving."
"Cafe con leche y pan tostado."
"Coffee and toast...really?"
"Your godchild will not allow me to keep anything down but bread. I have gone through two loaves already this week."
"But it's Monday."
"Exactly."
"Well then...I guess pan tostado it is."
Britt and I fucked like rabbits until it was time for her to leave, Q had left me wanting more and I needed to wipe her kiss from my mind, so I focused all my love and attention on B.
She met me with even better kisses and so many orgasms that I was still sore the morning after she left.
Any confusion that Q had left me with over whether I had chosen the wrong blonde was washed away by the silliness and adoration that B had paid me.
She kissed me a hundred times before I had dropped her off with her parents and then took my overnight bag to Mami's house. I just thought it would be easier since the will reading was happening there, rather than spending a night alone anxious and alone.
Mami and Sandra were planning on making a joint Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, hopefully bringing everyone together the day after the reading but I had a funny feeling that there was no way that we would be breaking bread together after everything is said and done.
All night Tuesday, I sat with Mami and talked about her next steps. We talked so long that I fell asleep next to her for the first time in forever.
When we woke up on Wednesday morning, my stomach had officially popped. I was sixteen weeks and the little nugget was making itself known. I woke up to Mami rubbing my little belly and praying over me.
I put my hand over hers and kissed her forehead.
"Te quiero tanto, Mami."
"Te quiero, mi'ja."
We were holding the reading of the will in Papi's study which still smelled of him, so much so that I half expected him to come walking through the door any second.
As I sat in the same spot that I had sat during one of our last conversations, I thought of all the things that had happened in this very room.
He'd beat me more than once, exposed me as an escort, taught me to play chess...and married me off. We had such a tumultuous relationship and yet here I sat, missing him.
I sat at the very edge of the sofa, closest to the window next to Mami and Sandra while the rest of my sisters sat on the other couch that faced us. If I looked across, Brenda's eyes were staring right back at mine, so I just kept looking at my lap...not wanting to have a stare off.
This shouldn't be happening, what stood out to me was Papi telling me in this very room a little over a month ago that he'd just changed his will to exclude Marco and it made me feel like he knew this could happen.
And that's when the tears started to come. I wiped at my eyes and tried to hold back my sniffles, if he ever wanted to prove just how much he loved me...doing what he had at the last minute proved it.
Mami wrapped an arm around me and gave me a hug before pulling away again. She was on edge, sitting ramrod straight and was trying to keep it together.
Salvatore Amato has been my father's lawyer since his first time being sued, they have been best friends and confidants for most of my life. He was the same man who bailed me out of jail and got my charges dropped when I crashed into town hall, drunk at 15 years old and it was me, that he contacted after Papi died. Sal was like my extended family and he had zero relationship with any of my sisters, so when he came in the room he only hugged my mom and me, offering his condolences and kissing our cheeks before taking the seat at the end of the couches but that was as far as his intimate greetings went.
He smiled at my sisters and then began to go through the papers, shuffling them and clearing his throat. Even without looking at them, I could tell that this was putting my sisters edge because it solidified in their minds where they stood in comparison to me and my mother.
For my sisters, me and Mami were the people that he chose over raising them up.
"Do you need anything, Sal?" I asked him, and he just gave a curt shake of his head choosing to jump right in instead.
"We are here for the reading of the last will and testament of Aden Mateo Lop..." before he could finish his sentence the door opened and in walked my husband in all his frigging pompous glory.
"You weren't invited, Marco." Mami said before I could.
"I know, Gladys pero, I needed to be here for my wife. You understand that, Aden taught me to be a good husband, so here I am."
I hadn't seen Marco since that horrific night in September that had changed my life and hearing his voice made my skin crawl but when he leaned in to kiss my lips I kissed him back and when he went to place a hand on my tiny baby bump, I let him.
My stomach was turning as he took his hand off it and I wanted to throw up, but I just took a deep breath and tried to stay calm.
I could see the shock on my sister's faces, hearing about Marco was one thing but seeing the all-encompassing power that he has over me first hand is another. When he was around, I became incapable of all actions and thought because he had trained me well.
With him there, my mind just didn't work normally.
There weren't any seats left and I was just a moment from getting up and offering him my seat, but he walked to the back of the couch and stood directly behind me and I went stiff when he rested his hands on my shoulders.
I bit down on my bottom lip and tried to hold in my whimper but then he squeezed, leaning in against my ear.
"Stay quiet, Princesa."
My brain was on autopilot as I sat there, absorbing the way his thumbs were pressing painfully into my upper back. I could feel Celia glancing at me from the other couch, but I just put on a smile and tried to breathe deeply.
The reading of the will continued but it was hard for me to concentrate on anything but the hands that rested on my body.
It was as if something was taking over me, it was like Marco was possessing my soul and I was allowing him and embracing it for some reason. Mami knocked me back to reality with a nudge and I realized that I had dropped my head and closed my eyes.
When I looked up, I realized that everyone was staring at me and that I had missed something.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" I said, clearly knowing that whatever I missed was something substantial.
"Santana, your father has named you as the executor of his entire financial estate. He has placed a clause that allows you to distribute the money as you see fit."
I sat wide eyed, feeling angry and stuck, of course he did. Way to overdo it, Papi. It would have been so easy to give it all to my mother but obviously that wasn't what Papi wanted. He didn't want them coming for my mother, so he set my sisters against me. Even in death he was creating a war.
"Fuck..." I muttered under my breath.
This was not good.
"What was that Santana?"
I tried to nudge Marco's hands off, but he was holding onto me tightly.
"How much is the financial estate worth?"
"Well he has left his physical possessions, the house in Atlanta and this one to your mother and Sandra along with his savings. His financial estate after your mother and sister's share is worth 21.7 million dollars including his steadily growing investments."
The room was in an immediate uproar.
I thought about how much my sisters Celia and Brenda were working their asses off to survive while me, Mami, Sandra, and Damariz were better off.
It just didn't seem fair.
"Does that include my trust fund?"
"No, as of your 18th birthday that money was transferred fully under your name and ready to use once you start college."
"Did he say why he set things up like this?"
"No. I asked him to reconsider spreading the money more equally among his children, but he insisted that this be the way that things happened."
"Was this will done recently?"
"October 1st, the day before he left for Atlanta."
"And it's solely up to me?"
He simply nodded, and I let out a sigh. This was not the kind of power that I needed. What was Papi thinking? I'm a drug addict for Christ's sake. I dropped my head and closed my eyes searching for some answer that would keep the peace.
There was no way that he was doing this just to make me love him, no, Papi was a calculating and frugal man, if he didn't divide this equally himself, there was a reason for it.
I was trying to do the math trying to figure out a way to split the money off, searching for a way to be fair to my sisters, when I heard the first strike against me.
"See I told you Sandra! She is an ungrateful little bitch; all that money and she's upset about it!"
Brenda was seething and frankly I didn't blame her, even if her anger was misdirected. She had no idea how this was making me feel but she was choosing to think the worst. I looked to Damariz who was staring daggers at me too, just when I thought we were doing better, even she was going to go along with punishing me for Papi's decision, they were turning on me just like Celia said that they would.
I was beginning to get angry and I could just feel the bitter words behind my teeth but then Marco ran his fingers through the hair just above my neck and began to rub it softly.
A chill went through me, that action meant more than I would ever admit out loud. He still knew my body and it still reacted to him, relaxing at the touch. He'd discovered that spot on my neck one night when we were in bed and I was screaming out in pain and then suddenly I was purring.
I hated him for knowing how to control me, even if right then when it felt like the world was caving in over this money, I was somewhat grateful for it.
"Don't attack Ana, she wouldn't just stand by and be selfish. You two never gave her a chance. She isn't the person that you think she is. She is our sister...has she ever done anything to hurt us? Uh...no because she isn't as vicious as she likes to pretend that she is. Stop being bitches to her." Celia said to them and it made me love her even more. She was standing up for me and backing me and it made me feel like I had another ally. It was in that moment that I realized what it is about my sister I have always loved so much, she reminded me of Brittany especially right in that moment.
"Can I talk to my wife alone a moment?" Marco said, now firmly squeezing the back of my neck, gone was the gentle touch.
Despite the tension in the air everyone turned to him and in unison yelled out, "NO!"
"You do love me!" I said but then I yelped when I felt his hand squeeze the back of my neck a little too tightly and I knew immediately that I would find a bruise there in the morning.
"Let go of her." Sandra growled and even though he was furious, after a moment he let go.
I leaned away from him immediately and rubbed at the back of my neck. My hair had been down, covering what he had been doing but now there was no hiding the pain as I whimpered.
"What the fuck, Marco." I grumbled, and he growled. Sandra stood to her feet and he backed away from me. I was glad that they were witnessing firsthand the weakness that Marco brought out in me that made me feel trapped and very small. "I can't do this right now, we'll get it squared away but I just need a little time, is that okay, Sal?"
"Of course, stop by my office or call me at any time."
"I will. Happy Thanksgiving." I shook his hand and then with tears in my eyes, I excused myself from the room. No one said a word as I left the house, got in my car and left.
My neck hurt like a motherfucker, he was getting reckless abusing me in front of my family and I couldn't be in that room another second.
Let them deal with him, let them see that Santana isn't the fucking spoiled brat with an easy life.
Fuck them and their high horses, in that moment I was SO done with all of them.
I wished that I could go to Britt because I knew that she would hold me for as long as I needed to, but I had to settle for Q, who was being extra cautious with me. I hit the Bluetooth on my car and practically screamed out, "Call Q."
"Hey, how'd it go?"
"I fucking need you right now, Q...can you meet me at my apartment?"
"Yeah, of course...I'm on my way. Are you driving?"
"Yes, look it went bad and I can't lean on B because she's in Chicago and I know you said that we needed to change the way that we comfort each other...I just...please?"
"I'm in the car, I will see you soon."
"Thank you."
I drove as fast as I could away from my sisters, Marco, and Mami. I felt like they had all let me down, even Mami who had sat there quiet as a church mouse allowing me to be attacked and very well saw Marco squeezing my neck.
Even she had let me down.
When I pulled up to my complex, Q was standing there in the parking lot waiting for me. She looked flustered and I hated that I did that to her.
She was wringing her hands up until she had me in her arms. I absorbed the hug for only a moment since I had way too much anger in me to hug her back properly.
I pulled away and trudged up the stairs, my neck and shoulders ached so badly that holding my head up was becoming a chore.
Once I was finally inside, I kicked off my shoes and collapsed onto the couch.
My little belly was usually a nuisance when I wanted to get comfortable but my most recent pillow fort was still in place. Quinn shut and locked the door. I watched as she let her hair down and kicked her shoes off, then she put both of our shoes onto the shoe rack that Mami had insisted that I get.
I liked watching her be so at home in my home.
"Come sit, Q."
She looked hesitant and then went towards the kitchen.
"I'm going to get us something to drink, water or juice?"
"Water."
I rested my head back on the couch and pulled out my phone to see a message from B.
Ur mom called, u ok?-B
I miss you!-Santana
IMU too.-B
Q is here-Santana
Ok-B
I love you-Santana
...
...
...
And then nothing. Great, she always did hate when I was alone with Q. They had squashed their beef and she never complained about me being alone with her again but that didn't mean it wasn't still bothering her.
Even if we did this less.
Q came into the room looking nervous, she put down a glass of water next to me and then sat in the recliner with a glass of wine.
"Did you alert B that I was here?" She asked as she looked at her phone.
"Yeah."
She held the phone up to me and rolled her eyes.
Keep ur hands 2 urself-Brittany
"Should I respond, that she's too late?"
"Don't you dare!"
"She's really got to stop, I'm so over you...I have another Lopez in my sights."
"Q...we talked about this!"
"I know that."
"You're still underage."
"The age of consent in Ohio is 16 and I turn 18 in two months."
"What about Rachel?"
"What about her?"
"You're still together, right?" I was incredulous.
"We are on a break."
I didn't believe her for a second.
"Listen, it is important to me that if you and Celia are going to be serious one day...that you be finished with anyone else. She is one of my favorite people on this planet and if you hurt her, I will choose her. She is my blood."
"But I've been your sister and sometime lover since forever!" Quinn was close to tears, but she was too fucking regal to let them drop.
"Exactly, so just know that I love you both and if it is meant to be, it will be but finish things with Rachel first."
"Fine. I'll back off, even if she doesn't."
"Thank you."
"So, tell me everything. Was it bad? Was there a fight?" Quinn asked trying not sound too intrigued with my family drama but failing.
"Yes, to all of that." I tried to roll my neck, but the ache was too great, so I just sat there and rubbed it, but nothing was helping. I flinched as I pulled my hair up into a bun, lifting my arms hurt too. "Fuck that hurts."
I went to speak again but Quinn had seen my pain, she put her wine down and leaned closer.
"What's wrong with your neck?"
"It's nothing...Marco just-"
"Wait, what? Marco is in Lima?"
Before I could respond she jumped up and came over to me, leaning behind me to see my neck. She gasped as she ran her cool fingers over my neck.
"Is it bad?"
"I'll get you ice, just stay there and try not to touch it too much. Tell me that your family didn't sit there and let this happen?" She asked as she rummaged through the freezer.
"They did, even your precious Celia."
"It's bullshit. What the fuck is wrong with him?" She said as she came back with a bag of ice and a washcloth. She wrapped the bag in the wash cloth and then hovered over me, placing it on my neck. "This looks like when he choked you, geez. Britt is going to freak."
"Oh God, she is...I am not ready to deal with that."
"I just can't wrap my mind around how he could do this to you San."
"Yeah, me either."
Frankly, I hadn't realized just how much my neck was hurting until the ice was there. She was kneeling next to me, holding the ice in place and I just leaned against her and closed my eyes, trying my best to block out my reality.
She placed held my face against her stomach and kissed the top of my head. In that moment, I was glad that I couldn't see her eyes because I knew she was emotional and I didn't want to start crying because I might never be able to stop.
"He left all of the money to me, except for his properties and savings account, the rest is mine...every cent. Now my sisters hate me!"
"Wow, Ceily said they would."
"Yep. I have every intention of sharing it, I mean there is enough to go around but then Brenda called me out just like the bitch that she is. Marco showed up acting like a loving husband until everyone refused to allow him to be alone with me and then he did this. It just seems like I can never fucking win with these people, I am just so damn tired."
"I know honey, I know." Quinn said kissing the top of my head again.
"If you don't mind me asking, San, how much is it, I mean how much money does it take for your own sisters to turn on you?"
It didn't even phase me that she had the balls to ask.
"About 22 million but I'm convinced they would have done it for free."
She sank down next to me, her knee pressed against mine as she clutched the ice, her watery eyes were wide with shock.
"I mean, I knew you guys were well off but wow. Why did he live here?"
"You get more bang for your buck if you're a big fish in a small pond, Q. Look what happened the moment he went and became a big fish in a big pond, a motherfucker killed him."
"You have a point. He had a flair for the dramatics though, putting his daughters in a war with each other. There is enough to go around, why do they think you'd keep it for yourself?"
"If he had just split it evenly, there would have still be been someone upset. It's a lot of money and I want to help my sisters, but all of their needs are different, I don't even know where to start."
"So just be equitable and let them figure it out, I promise you that if you try to dictate the money and what it's to be used for there will still be resentment. You give them all an equal amount, even Sandra and if she decides to give up her share, then that will be on her."
I looked at Q and felt a heaviness lift.
"You're way too smart for your own good, Q."
"I know."
"If I do it your way someone will walk away unsatisfied."
"Sweetie, you need to go in there knowing that you can't please everyone and if you try you just might please everyone but yourself. You are not a martyr...fuck that."
"So...what should I do?"
Leaving me to decide just felt like a cruel joke.
"They don't deserve you, if it were Frannie, she'd keep every fucking cent. You are just a cinnamon roll wrapped up in barbed wire. That's why I love you, San." She kissed my cheek and then rubbed my belly. "And I love you too, baby baby."
Have I ever said how much I love her?
"Help me, Q."
"Listen San, this situation sucks, that's obvious. What you need is a plan."
"So, help me craft one, captain."
She rolled her eyes but then looked at me excitedly. I had spoken her nerdy language.
"You make sure that you and this baby are taken care of financially. You do everything that you need to do to set yourself up for the future. When you are done doing that, you divide what's left and give them each a cut. Let them decide among themselves who gets what. They are going to be bitter no matter what but that isn't your problem."
"I can tell you now that Sandra isn't going to take a cent and Damariz really shouldn't because that chick has money of her own...I will let them handle their money however they want."
"One more thing you should consider."
"What?"
"You have an addiction, San and while I love Brittany...you should probably make someone like Sandra sign off on really big purchases to keep you honest."
"Big like how much?"
"I don't know, you should talk to her about it. It's just a thought...like a safety net."
"I'll think about it."
After our deep heart to heart, we ordered a pizza and watched movies until the sun went down. I kept sending pics of me and Quinn fully clothed vegging to Britt, just to show her we were just being innocent.
U proved ur point-B
She said after I sent her the fifth picture.
She lives!-Santana
Srry-B
Enjoy your family. I love you!-Santana
I love you too! 3-B
Having Q there with me, keeping me sober and sane was a good distraction and I needed it after the bullshit from my sisters, but I knew better than most that reality can only be ignored for so long and I knew that my sisters were waiting.
I could be bitch and just say fuck them and walk away but I know in my heart that they would just make my life a living hell, so I had to play this cool and quick.
Around dinner time, Q stood up and told me she had a date with Rachel to get to, so I headed out with her, planning to go check in on Mami.
When I got to the house, it was deserted so I just decided to drive around for a bit to clear my mind.
I knew that whatever decision I made could be a make or break for my relationship with my sisters and that I needed to decide soon and stick with it.
I just hope that I make the right one.