Kurama smelled like rain. No, that description was too simple. He smelled like soft mud and dewy grass and electricity heavy in the air and ice cold rainfall all at once and even that didn't completely describe the way Kurama smelled, but Kuwabara was intoxicated by it.
He shook his head to rid his head of that thought as Kurama leaned over and placed a cup of steaming tea in front of him.
"It still needs another minute to steep," Kurama said. His words are quiet, almost whispering. It made Kuwabara shiver.
Kuwabara was absolutely not in love with his friend and former teammate, Kurama. He wasn't. They were just really close friends, and that was the end of it. He wasn't in love with anyone at the moment, not even Yukina. That flame died out a few years back when she started getting cozy with Shizuru. Like too many sleepovers, and he really, really needed to buy new soundproof headphones cozy. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would–at least his sister was happy. It had Kuwabara thinking that maybe the whole Yukina thing was infatuation, not love. Maybe Kuwabara was an oblivious idiot who had to sleep through three "sleepovers" to realize maybe–just maybe–Yukina was attracted to his sister.
So, yeah, Kuwabara wasn't in love with anyone, but he was especially not at all attracted to Kurama. They were just study partners.
When they both started classes at the local university, it only seemed natural. They studied together almost every day, a ritual that involved soft piano music playing from Shiori's old record player and Kurama brewing a new experimental tea for Kuwabara to try. It was awfully domestic, as Yusuke liked to tease him, but Kuwabara tried not to think about that because they were just friends. Although they were different majors, Kuwabara studied education and psychology and Kurama studied biology, it was nice to just have someone there to ground you, and make sure that you were, in fact, studying. Which wasn't a concern for Kurama but Kuwabara really benefited from the sessions.
Lately, however, Kuwabara was having an awfully difficult time focusing on his textbooks because somehow, even though he had known Kurama for the past six years, he was just now noticing how distracting he could be.
Long, messy crimson hair that still looked so soft despite its many knots, piercing green eyes that really focused on you, just you–Kurama was fucking hot. He was undeniably hot. Even his cool-headed, mysterious personality was hot. And Yusuke and Keiko and Touya and Jin had all mentioned how hot Kurama was in the past, so it wasn't weird that Kuwabara was getting flustered just thinking about it.
Plus, even if Kuwabara admitted that he liked Kurama, there was no way Kurama liked him back. Kuwabara was a realist; Kurama was a ten. Actually, he probably broke the whole number scale. He was like a twelve, twenty, hundred, thousand. Kuwabara was a six on a good day, maybe a five and a half on every other day, and that was being generous. It just wasn't meant to be. In fact, he scoffed at himself for thinking he was ever in the realm of possibility for Yukina. That was pure delusion. The thought made his heart pulse with pain. He really needed to start crushing on people who were on his level.
Kuwabara picked up the sky blue teacup and held it near his face, taking a deep breath in. The earthy scent of green tea already eliminated his growing chest pain. He took a small sip to avoid burning his tongue.
Kuwabara immediately brightened.
"It's good!" He took another sip before setting the teacup down.
"I'm glad," Kurama responded with a soft grin and flipped a page in his textbook, "I put Makai rose petals in this blend. I thought it would suit the green tea nicely."
"Makai rose? Is that what your rose whip thingy is made of?" Kuwabara had all but forgotten about the studying.
"I believe they're of the same family, but the roses in my weapon are something directly related to my abilities and spirit energy," Kurama said. Kuwabara watched intently as his slender fingers grasped his own matching teacup. He took a sip and returned it to the table.
"So if you were stranded on an island, could you technically eat your whip?" Kuwabara blurted.
Kurama was stunned with silence for a moment before he began to laugh. Kuwabara flushed a deep red, realizing how dumb he sounded.
But Kuwabara did love that laugh. It sounded so beautiful. It was like a running waterfall, or a shattering crystal, or some other metaphor Kuwabara couldn't even think of because Kurama was just so unbelievably perfect.
Holy shit he really needed to get over this crush. He was starting to wax bad poetry about one of his closest friends–talk about pathetic. Kuwabara joined in the laughter.
"Yes, I suppose I could if I needed to. Not sure how much nutritional benefit it would have though," Kurama smiled. He always looked at Kuwabara so genuinely Well, actually, he looked at all of his friends like that, but when that look was directed at Kuwabara could just feel his heart melt at the sight. Too bad he would never mean that much to Kurama.
All of a sudden, a deep pain swelled in his chest. It was like nothing he had ever experienced before, not even when Toguro plunged his hand into his chest cavity and almost killed him during the Dark Tournament. It was unbearable for only a few seconds before it started to fade slowly.
"Kuwabara?" Kurama asked. He sounded panicked. Kuwabara grasped at his chest, dazed. The pain subsided to a manageable level.
"Geez. Must've been heartburn or something."
"I'll get you some antacid," Kurama got up from his seat.
"It's no big, Kurama," Kuwabara interrupted, "I should head out anyway. I'll grab some at home."
Kurama checked his watch as Kuwabara threw his books into his bag.
"I didn't realize it was so late," Kurama muttered, "Are you coming by tomorrow?"
Tomorrow was Saturday. He didn't have to grade papers or tutor anyone, and he didn't have any upcoming tests the next week. He didn't technically have to come to a study session. He looked at Kurama's face, and his heart clenched. He was an idiot thinking he could use a number ranking system on a man so fucking perfect.
"Sure, why not?" He felt his lips move, but with the blood rushing in his ears, his voice sounded muffled to him. They walked towards the door. Kurama hung in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe, as he gave Kuwabara his full attention. With Kuwabara in shoes, he had to tilt his head up a bit more to look him in the eyes.
"It'll have to be a bit later than usual, if that's alright?"
"That's perfect!" Kuwabara smiled, and Kurama, impossibly, matched it.
"Well, good night, Kuwabara. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night!" He waved and turned to walk home, Kurama's bright emerald eyes and calm smile burning in his memory. The deep pain in his chest returned. It was hard to breathe, and the urge to cough became overwhelming. Kuwabara stumbled.
He coughed, hacking up whatever blocked his airways. Even though only the streetlights illuminated him, he could still see deep red in his elbow crease. His heart stuttered for a second. Blood?
But when he moved his arms, the red fluttered to the ground. He reached to pick it up. Two petals. Rose petals covered in saliva. That came from his mouth.
"Weird…" He muttered to no one. Noticing the pain had subsided, he left the petals on the ground and continued to walk home.
Kuwabara made it back with minimal issues–a few coughs, some pain, but, thankfully, no petals. It must've been Kuwabara's mistake. He walked towards the living room where Shizuru and Yukina are wrapped into a blanket watching some B rated American horror flick. The two were so absorbed in the movie, they didn't notice Kuwabara coming through the door.
On the screen, a gory zombie staggered towards a busty, beautiful woman. The woman begged for her life, backing away slowly and shakily.
"Carter, please!" The woman in the film yelled, a bit too dramatically, "I know you're in there somewhere. I love you!" In response, the zombie moaned, groaned, and with a sudden burst of speed, attacked. A spray of "blood" or what was very clearly red food dye and water mixed together, covered the screen.
Yukina jumped, and Shizuru pulled her even closer, if that was even possible.
"This looks like a fun movie," Kuwabara muttered as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.
"Hey, Kazuma. How was Kurama?" Shizuru called. Of course, she noticed his return. Kuwabara couldn't sneak around his sister, not with her superior spiritual awareness. Kuwabara popped the top of the bottle and shuffled back to the living room. He sighed as he fell into the retractable chair opposite the couch Shizuru and Yukina shared.
"Fine."
"Just fine?" Shizuru teased, her tone light, "Usually you have a lot more to say."
"Shut up," he said. There was no bite to his words. The zombie on the screen lifted the woman's heart out of her body and messily ate it. More fake blood covered the screen. Even without seeing the context of the rest of the film, it turned Kuwabara's stomach.
"Don't be an asshole. I can kick you out. I own this house," Shizuru said, not missing a beat. She kept her voice upbeat but cautious. Her eyes didn't leave the screen, but Kuwabara felt like she could see right through him.
"No, you don't," Kuwabara rolled his eyes, "Dad still does. Even though he never pays the fucking bills." His words were sharp and bitter by the end.
"What if I forced him to hand over ownership without telling you?" Shizuru glanced at her brother.
"Nah," Kuwabara smiled slightly, "You would've threw a fucking rager if that happened."
Shizuru grinned, a laugh bubbling to her lips. She brought her gaze back to the movie, satisfied, "You know it."
Kuwabara laughed to himself and took a swig of his beer.
"I'm sorry about your family," Yukina whispered to Shizuru. For a second, Kuwabara had forgotten he was intruding on his sister's date. He looked into his beer bottle, the liquid inside suddenly looking very, very appealing. In fact, he thought whiskey seemed even more appealing, but he couldn't be bothered to pour himself a glass.
A group of teenagers screamed in terror on the screen.
"Hey, we talked about this. Don't be sorry. We all have trauma. Joking about our lack of parental support is the Kuwabara way of coping," Shizuru whispered back.
Kuwabara swallowed hard and finished his beer a little too quickly.
He suddenly got up, tossing the bottle into the recycling bin, and put on the brightest smile he could muster.
"I'm going to bed. Do we still have pancake mix in the cabinet for tomorrow morning?" Kuwabara didn't dare break his mask of happiness. If he convinced himself he would get up bright and early to make pancakes for his sister and her girlfriend instead of moping in his room until he met with Kurama, then, goddammit, he would do it.
"Yeah," Shizuru stared at him, analyzing his every move, "You sure you're okay?"
"I'll be fine after some rest," Kuwabara stretched and yawned, "Have fun with the bloodbath." He smirked and nodded at the movie. As if on cue, there was the quickening of high-pitched violins, a snarl, and several screams all coming from the T.V. Yukina jumped again, and Shizuru kissed her forehead. Kuwabara took his leave.
As soon as he was in his room, Kuwabara ripped his clothes off, leaving nothing but his boxers, and flopped into his bed.
The petals were bothering him. He couldn't deny that he definitely coughed those up, but why? He didn't remember swallowing any roses, especially not whole.
He was suddenly reminded of the Makai rose tea that Kurama had brewed for him. Kurama wouldn't purposely poison him, but maybe coughing up petals was some weird side effect since he was human? Did that even make any sense? Kuwabara knew, logically, that he shouldn't be stressing over something so small, but that cough was painful. His chest still hurt. He'd pushed away Kurama's worries, but the truth was he probably was right to be worried.
His heart felt warm remembering the last bits of conversation they had that night. Kurama wanted to see him on an off day. He went out of his way to ask Kuwabara to come by even though he had something planned earlier.
An evil little voice in the back of his head told him he asked out of obligation. Kurama didn't really want to hang out with him, he was practically Kuwabara's tutor. Kurama was just a nice guy, of course he would want to continue helping a friend who needed as much help as Kuwabara did. Kurama must actually pity Kuwabara for being a complete idiot.
He felt the chest pain creep back like a fire, and it was suddenly blazing. He curled in on himself in his bed, holding back tears.
He was a hindrance to Kurama, just like was a hindrance to Team Urameshi back in the day. He was useless, worthless, and everyone, especially Kurama, just tolerated him, and he knew it. He was bothering Kurama by hanging out with him.
He coughed and coughed and coughed and when he opened his eyes, there were three saliva-slicked petals in his elbow.
He had to call Kurama tomorrow morning. Just to make sure it wasn't the tea.
The next morning he called Kurama while mixing pancake batter. The phone rang only once before Shiori picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hi this is Kuwabara. Can I talk to Shuichi?" He was careful to use Kurama's human alias as soon as he heard Shiori's voice.
"Of course, Kazuma. Give me a second." Moments later, the phone was picked up again.
"Kuwabara?" Kurama said. For a moment, Kuwabara was frozen with nerves. His brain kept flashing images of the rose petals in the crease of his elbow.
"Hey Kurama do those, uh, Makai roses have any…weird side effects I should know about?" He finally managed to say.
There are a few seconds of silence. He poured more milk into the pancake mixture to thin it out.
"No?"
Kuwabara swallowed hard, "So me being human and drinking that tea wouldn't make me sick or anything?"
"Unless you were allergic to it. Then, you would have a normal allergic reaction," Kurama spoke slowly, "Kuwabara, are you alright?"
Kuwabara couldn't have been mistaken. He had rose petals coming out of his mouth last night, at two different times, but he had been relatively fine since then.
"I must be coming down with something. I had a bad cough last night, but it's probably a cold. Uh, sorry to bother you."
"It's no bother, Kuwabara. Are you sure you're alright? I can stop by your place." He felt warm hearing Kurama's soothing voice. It almost sounded like he cared, like he was really worried. The warmth in his chest quickly turned into pain.
"I'll be fine, Kurama. Thanks anyway," he stifled a cough. He stopped mixing the batter.
"Anytime," the honesty and weight of that word had Kuwabara almost doubling over, "Feel better, Kuwabara."
He choked out a "Thanks, bye" before hanging up and coughing. The pain was so intense. He could barely choke back air between the unrelenting coughs.
Kuwabara ran to the bathroom, feeling something rise in his throat. He kneeled over the toilet as the coughing worsened. He had never felt this sick before.
"Kazuma?" Kuwabara heard his name being called despite the fuzzy ringing in his ears. "Oh my god. Yukina!"
He kept his eyes shut and just continued to hack up a lung. He felt his sister's hand against his back.
Somewhere, amongst the violent coughing, he heard small footsteps and saw a flash of blue. Yukina.
"Oh no, Kazuma!"
Finally, after what felt like years, it stopped. He could breathe normally again, but he felt something rustle in his chest when he did.
"You really coughed up an entire fucking bouquet, huh?" Shizuru said, rubbing his back, "Is it a Makai thing?"
Behind the watery haze of unshed tears, Kuwabara opened his eyes. Red, red petals covered in blood.
"We should go to Genkai's," Yukina said. Her voice sent a shiver down Kuwabara's spine. It was cold and clinical and very different from the Yukina he was used to.
He felt Shizuru's hand tremble on his back, "I have a few appointments I squeezed in, so we'd have enough for the electricity bill this month. You'll go with Yukina, right, Kazuma?"
Kuwabara laid his head against the cool porcelain of the toilet seat and reached over to the handle to flush the mess down the drain. He felt the familiar drop of his stomach when Shizuru mentioned taking clients just so they could live like normal people. Her hairdressing job was only barely supporting the two of them. He wished he had the time for another job other than his teaching assistant job which paid pennies, but Shizuru had insisted he focus on his studies. He watched as the petals and blood were swirled away and replaced with clear water. It was like he hadn't coughed up bloody rose petals at all.
"Yeah," he breathed, "Sorry. Guess that means no pancakes for breakfast."
Shizuru almost hit him for saying something so stupid.