Chapter 52: Tired (Adele)
I want to say that I was in disbelief but all I could do was stare down at my sore and bruising wrists as I tried to reign in my rage. Our marriage so far had been nothing but a disaster so maybe it was actually a good thing that it wasn't real.
Quinn had been right, I should have married Brittany, just like I shouldn't have married Marco. With him it was forced, with hers, it was desperation. I'd hoped being tied to her would keep me sober and sane but neither of those things were true. So, we needed to do things differently. She obviously needed something I couldn't give her and if I wanted to feel even a fraction of normalcy, I knew that what I needed was her in whatever way, even if that meant I had to sacrifice my own happiness.
My family and Q would just tell me to leave her, but I couldn't do that because I knew in my heart that Britt being here kept Marco at bay. He was still my husband and the part I hadn't told her was the papers I hadn't signed had an expiration date that I had flown past. To divorce Marco, I'd need to talk to him and that's why I had been avoiding it and ignoring it. Now though, she knew and that meant if I wanted her to be mine alone, I needed to be divorced.
She was technically my mistress, I had no right to who she fucked but she was acting like I did, so I would too.
Britt was leaned against the sink, her face blank as she considered my question. What did she want out of this?
After a long moment she came over and knelt in front of me. She took my bruised wrists in her hands and kissed each one. Then she looked up at me so sweetly that I could cry but instead I was waiting.
She wouldn't get any more of my tears if her goal was to tear apart our little family and break our wedding vows...real wedding or not. In my heart she was my wife and I was hers.
"What if I do want all of that stuff?"
"Tell me what you want specifically, Brittany. This is your one chance to bargain with me, don't waste it."
"I want to be able to keep talking to Frankie...maybe some sexy time over the phone. It's not like I can have you right now. I also think I want to go on that tour but more than anything, I want your devotion to me. I want to be the only one for you."
"That's a fool's bargain, B. You want to have someone else plus have me, but I can, only have you, how is that fair?"
"Is any of this last few months, fair? I mean, haven't you slept around enough?"
The blow was so low and so unexpected that it had me winded.
"Wow, that hurts. Do you really think I'm whore?" She shrugged.
"You slept with people for money, that's true. I didn't call you a whore. I just figured you've had enough of sleeping around and I know I haven't. Maybe people didn't pay me, but I've slept with a lot of people. Boy and girl. Right now, I don't want all that. I just want you and one other girl until you and I are a real thing."
"Fine B...until those papers are filed and I'm really yours. You can have what you want." I felt resigned as I agreed to this ridiculous arrangement. "But I'm serious, I don't want any more of these bruises...during sex it's no big deal but on the regular, I'm not here for it."
"Okay and you'll stay faithful to me?"
"Always and only you, B."
"Then that's what I want until we are official, I need some time to just do my own thing." she said as she dropped more kisses to my wrists.
I was breaking inside because I was just tired of my life, I felt myself sinking to a dark place...past cocaine and deeper to feeling like everyone would be better without me...but I could never go there. I had survived worse than this besides, I'd miss me too much.
"Okay." I whispered, "Can I-I just ask one thing?"
"Yes."
"If you're going to do that on the phone with her, you don't do it in our bed. You go to the guest room and you lock the door. I don't want you rubbing it in my face."
"Okay...anything else?"
"I just want to keep this between us. It's hard enough knowing that I'm not enough for you...I don't need to feel like a fool in front of everyone too."
"I can do that and you're not a fool, you're amazing."
"Well I don't feel amazing."
"I'm sorry."
"Just promise me that you won't stop loving me, B...please?"
She sat on the floor looking at me with the softest expression and shrugged.
"Once you are done with him, I'll be all yours proudly so...but I will never stop loving you. I will always love you the most, Ana."
That night, I left the dishes on the table and her on the floor, needing to go lick my wounds.
And when I climbed in the tub with a cigarette this time, I didn't lock the door or take my phone. I took my journal and wrote until my hand cramped and half the pack was gone.
Not once did Britt come in, but I could hear her closing the guest room door and felt my heart sink.
She was locked in that room, moaning and I knew right then that this was the worst thing I could have done for my own sanity. I turned on the shower and turned on some music to drown it all out, wishing that I was anywhere but here.
I went to bed as soon as I was dry and surrounded myself with pillows. Just for tonight, I needed comfort that Britt couldn't give me.
My tears kept coming as I cried myself to sleep as I stared at the video of my baby boy smiling.
"You're all I need in this world, mi'jo. Just keep living and growing. I love you." I whispered to the screen before surrendering to my exhaustion.
I woke up feeling so heavy and alone, but I pushed through the motions of getting ready and making breakfast for us. Britt was more bubbly than usual as she danced along to the music that was bumping in the kitchen. I hadn't seen her this happy in a really long time.
No longer did she have to hide anything, not her bipolar or her thing with Frankie and it seemed that she was enjoying her freedom while I felt shackled to addiction and a wife that didn't want only me. Today, I would ask Sal to draw up new divorce papers, with the hope that Marco wouldn't try to contest them now that he was getting out.
I couldn't make any moves until then.
Britt rested her arm on my shoulders as we walked onto the field and I decided to see just how much of our bargain was in play.
"I think I'm going to the library while you practice, B." Her body stiffened but she didn't grip me up or talk in anger, instead she was sweet.
"Give me the rest of this week, baby. I don't want to be distracted with worry because I can't see you. Competition is on Saturday and then there's a break in practice for two weeks. We can sleep in and relax. Please?"
I nodded, it was Wednesday...I could handle just a few more days.
"Okay, B. Thanks for communicating that to me...good luck figuring out the hole in the routine."
"Yeah, I know...any ideas?"
"I do...if you want them."
"I do."
"It's going to sound nuts, but I think if you take away the bases from Q's section, have them support the other two sections, you could do that cross-flyer flip thing that we used to do on the trampoline...remember?"
"You think it could work?"
"I do but you need the most acrobatic flyers to do it...maybe get a mat from inside just in case."
"That's brilliant, baby. I'm going to tell Sue, enjoy your book."
She kissed me hard and I gripped her shell top missing the feel of that uniform against my skin. The kiss deepened and then I heard the shriek of the bullhorn and pulled back.
"NO FORNICATING ON MY FIELD!" Sue barked, and I chuckled, slapping B on the ass before heading for the bleachers.
If we continued this way, I could deal with this arrangement. So far, she seemed to be the same old Britt Britt, that I had fallen for.
Our arrangement was untraditional, but it also wasn't permanent.
I'd spoken too soon, I waited for her after school and watched them perform the routine that I had suggested. They managed it successfully only half of the times they practiced it.
"It's going to be a late night ladies, I have this field for another hour and I want your blood, sweat, and tears. Lopez?"
I popped my head up.
"Yes coach?"
"I need you on the field, walking around giving notes. You are my second set of eyes."
My body was exhausted, but I knew that Sue just wanted to keep me busy. As I passed her, I pushed her bullhorn down and looked her in the eyes.
"Thanks, I was getting antsy."
"As long as you're sober, you are a Cheerio and my captain is down for the count. It's time for you to step up."
"I won't let you down."
With my help they went from getting it right half the time to only fucking up twice. Sue actually complemented them as she dismissed them...well sort of.
"HIT THE SHOWERS LADIES, I ONLY HATE YOU A LITTLE BIT RIGHT NOW."
As I walked towards her, she gave me a nod.
"Can I count on you to do that for the next few practices?"
"Of course, coach." I'd be here anyway, why not let her use me to bring home another title which I knew for a fact would make my wife and my best friend feel like their time had been worth it.
Britt kissed me and asked Sue to keep me distracted while she got clean.
So that's how I ended up helping Sue figure out strategies for Saturday's competition.
Having me there with her, willingly had her showing me the softer side of her and while we looked over the strengths of all the Cheerios she kept looking me over, but she didn't say much.
"Just ask me." I finally said to her when I caught her looking at my wrists for a third time.
"Those bruises on your wrists are from B?"
"Brittany got out of control but I know about her disorder now and made sure she understood that I wouldn't put up with it."
"Good. She gets rough with you again, let me know and I'll handle her."
"That's not necessary."
"She's Q's second and the only senior left on the team. She's a role model and when she's medicated, she's a great one. Her anger is a distraction we can't afford. I'm glad she told you."
"Me too."
"She knows she's not allowed on my field without being level. I'm concerned about the next two weeks when she's not on my field. Can you handle that?"
"Yes, coach. Now that I know what I'm up against. I can handle anything."
She went to respond but the door opened, Britt was standing there grinning at us.
"Ready, baby?"
I nodded at Sue and followed my wife out of Sue's office, happy to have escaped her questions. I knew though, that she'd find a way to finish our conversation.
For the rest of the week, I was a model student and was on time or early to most of my classes and when I saw my candy man in the hallways and he would wink at me, I would look the other way. Being strung out on whatever he was pushing, was not how I wanted to finish off high school. Everything was feeling great and Britt was starting to be more caring towards me.
I was skeptical though...when something feels too good to be true...it usually is.
Friday morning, Britt was extra anxious. I woke up to her completely naked, trying to quietly perform the routine in our bedroom.
I just laid there watching her move and smiled, enjoying the free show.
"Wanky." I said as she finished, and she gave me a bow. "Please say my punishment is over, I need some of that." She blushed and came over to the bed, pulling the blanket back and kissing me.
She hovered above me and smiled wickedly.
"Punishment is over today...you've been so good this week. You want me to ride your face as a reward, baby?"
"God, yes."
My hormones were on overload as she knelt over my face, her scent was strong, and I chuckled as my stomach growled. She lowered herself and I wrapped my arms around her thighs, keeping her in place as I sucked her clit into my mouth.
Her hand buried in my hair and she looked down at me, still grinning as she slowly began to rock on my tongue.
I put in my best work as I sucked and licked in rhythm with her movements.
And then I moaned when she reached back and pinched my nipple.
"Fuck, yes...that's so good." The alarm was blaring next to us, but she just kept rocking and I kept sucking, knowing that the harder she pressed down, the more likely that my lips would be swollen by the time we were done. I dropped one of my hands from her hips and pushed my fingers inside of her. She squealed, and I felt like a rock star. "Oh GOD!" She screamed as she came, soaking my face and shuddering above me.
I was breathless as she climbed off me and stood on shaking legs.
"Was I good, baby?"
"Yesss...so good. Shower?"
"Okay, B...anything you want."
"Good girl, I want you on your knees giving me more."
I didn't even think twice about turning her down. Last night she'd come home from practice and locked herself in the guest room for three hours...breathing hard and moaning. I'd gone to bed soaked and pissed off. So, this morning, I was going to give her everything she needed...hoping it would be enough that she didn't need to have phone sex when I was so willing.
But then, we were in the shower and she was fucking herself on my face, grinding on me and demanding more fingers until she came screaming out that bitch's name without even realizing that I'd heard her.
I let her kiss me after that and then I made excuses, rushing her through our routine because I knew that Sue would be extra psycho the day before the big competition. I felt a wall go up between us, that only I could see while Britt went on being her happy self and I played the part of her adoring wife. Making us a quick breakfast and clinging to me like I was a fucking life line.
All while she thought of Frankie.
Meanwhile, I was going to stay focused because all the temptations were still there, but I resisted.
When Sue saw me that morning, she arched an eyebrow at us and I tried to quickly fix my face.
Once all the girls were on the field, she put the mega phone to her lips and said, "Ladies, Santana here has whipped you into shape in just three days. She won't be going to Pittsburgh with us tomorrow, so show her what you got. There's no practice tonight, so make sure everything you do now is perfect, or I'll change my mind."
I sat on the bleachers and watched the practice, ignoring my buzzing phone knowing that even if she was deep in routine, Britt would notice and since she was a base, I didn't want her to drop anyone.
Being her flyer, I loved how secure I always felt when she was holding me up. She had a no drop record and I didn't want to mess with that.
The routine was nearly perfect, and I pulled my phone out to record it, when they ran it a second time, so I could figure out how to make it first place worthy.
A notification came down and I nearly threw up in my mouth.
Morning Princesa, Daddy's home-unknown
Early Saturday morning, I laid curled up in my wife's arms, as she sung sweet songs to me and I felt like I could lie there forever at peace with her. It almost seemed like we were back to us. Back to being Santittany. We were laughing and staring into each other's eyes. I felt anxious about her leaving me for a full day, but I was going to spend my time with Quinn, helping her get settled at home.
I hadn't told Britt about Marco texting me because I didn't want her to worry about that while performing today. She kept smiling at me and I smiled back. Last night, we'd gone to see Isaac and then came home and passed out.
There was no phone sex with Frankie, just her holding me all night long.
"Are you excited about today?" she whispered in my ear.
"Yes! If she gives me the all clear, then I can start running again."
"And fucking?"
"Yes, maybe that too. I miss getting my mack on with my old lady." I chuckled.
"Hey! You're older than me remember?"
"I was joking Britt."
"I know!"
"What about you, are you nervous about the competition?"
"Nah, I'm going to rock it. I wish you were coming with us."
"Are you worried about me being here alone?"
"It's just one night how much trouble could you possibly get into?"
Had she not met me?
The alarm went off and Britt was up and moving. My phone started buzzing and I should have known who it was.
"Yo!" I said as I got up.
"Pick me up, I need to go see those bitches off."
"Sure thing."
I put on one of those old black tracksuits, dressed for the day and was about to knock on the bathroom door but then I heard the breathy moans.
"I miss you too, baby...yes...I'm doing it...I'm so close."
How had she gone from being mine to hers so quickly.
"Britt?" I called out and I heard her phone thud...then her gritty voice.
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to pick up Quinn, I'll meet you by the bus. Don't be late."
"Oh, yeah, okay. There and back, Ana."
"I know Britt."
Quinn had me help her dress in her fucking Cheerio sweats before basically plopping her heavy ass in my back seat with the top down.
I was in a mood as I drove us back towards the school. Thankfully, Q didn't live very far. A full block away I heard the bull horn and wondered how Sue was able to get away with that freaking screech.
"What's wrong, San?"
"None of your business." I muttered as we pulled up near the bus. Sue was giving a pep talk to a group of sleepy Cheerios and then she saw Quinn and she perked up.
"See that dedication, broken leg and your captain has still come to see you ungrateful babies off!" She started clapping enthusiastically for Quinn and the Cheerios followed suit not wanting to hear Sue bitch for the next four hours.
Britt came over to the car and pressed her lips to mine, rubbing at my neck as she nibbled on my bottom lip. I moaned and then Q let out a loud grumble about grossness and decorum.
When my wife pulled away, she was grinning all silly which meant she'd taken her medicine. Great. "You'll update me throughout the day, right, you'll tell me where you are?" She asked.
I nodded. "Yes."
"Good, are you staying with Quinn tonight?" I shrugged, and Quinn cut in.
"Yes! You may trust her to stay out of trouble, but I don't. I need someone to help me around and Santana has nothing better to do."
"Good. Have fun, baby. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Be good." She said, smirking.
And I resisted the urge to toss that advice back at her.
This was the agreement until my divorce was final...it had of course hit a snag named Marco Aurelio Vega...but after today, I was hoping that snag would be ironed out.
I had plans of my own, I just needed to shake Quinn for a few hours.
We waited for the bus to pull away before I turned to look back at my friend.
"Funny thing, Q."
"What's that?"
"You never told Celia about your leg."
"I didn't want her to worry."
"Yeah, that's what she figured when I talked to her yesterday."
Her eyes went wide.
"You didn't!"
"Oh, I did. She's coming by for lunch today...you know, since Rachel is in Chicago with the glee club."
"Bitch."
"Hey, I'm doing you a solid."
And then the puzzle was put together in seconds in front of my eyes.
"What are you up to?"
"I just need some alone time."
"For what?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Fuck no, you've given me zero reason to."
"Look, I'll be gone three hours tops. I just need to meet with my lawyer."
"For the divorce?"
"Seriously, B promised not to tell anyone."
"I'm not just anyone...of course she told me."
"Yes, for the divorce."
"Fine but I swear if you come back blitzed out of your mind, I'm telling Britt."
"Deal."
I spent my morning with Quinn and Isaac, he was so happy these days.
My little reason.
Quinn got to hold him, and she was instantly in love with him.
"Please don't do anything stupid today, San." She said to me and I nodded as I brushed my fingers through my son's dark curls.
"There's so much going on right now, Q. Right now, I'm trying to save my marriage and make it to graduation in one piece. Even if I stay sober, I'm still going to rehab for a whole month before we leave Lima. To make it there, I need to take care of business today. Isaac is my priority and making sure he comes home to his happy parents, is paramount."
She kissed his hairline and then whispered something to him before looking at me again.
"Two hours tops."
"Not a minute more."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry to put this on you Q but there's no one I trust more."
"Just, be smart."
We went from Isaac to my doctor's office. She took blood and urine samples again before doing an exam. She seemed both surprised and delighted to see that my test all came back normal.
"Santana, I am so proud of you right now."
"I'm doing my best, doc."
She pressed on my stomach and it didn't ache like before. There was some numbness but that was it.
"Well your stitches are gone, and your incision looks good."
"And the infection?"
"Gone. Next week is the six-week mark, you are clear to resume normal activity but with care. Don't over stress your body. Okay?"
"What about running?"
"No marathons but jogging is fine."
"Thanks doc."
We sat in the car and I immediately pulled out my phone.
All clear-Ana
Really? I'm so fucking you tomorrow!-Britt Britt
Yay!-Ana
Still on the road. Have fun. I love you-Britt Britt
I love you.-Ana
I clutched the manila envelope in my hand and then used my key to get into the house. For so long when I came here is was quiet but when I walked inside, I froze immediately.
There sitting at the table was Marco, Nico, and Carmen. All eyes were on me as I shut the door behind me. Then Marco stood and opened his arms.
"There's my little wife, how are you, Princesa?"
His hug felt different, less forceful and I didn't fight him. Right now, I wanted to play nice. All I wanted were these papers signed so that I could move on with my life.
When I looked past him, Carmen and Nico were at the table squabbling quietly. Marco let me go and I walked over to the table to greet my friends.
Nico hugged me tightly and then said against my ear.
"You shouldn't be here, my love."
"I'll be quick," I say. "Just stay close."
When I hugged Carmen, it was like hugging a version of myself. She pulled back and looked at my face. "You're sober." I nodded.
"Nothing major, five days."
"Bueno. One day at a time. Five days is progress. Now...step back, let me look at you." I stood back, and she held my fingers and twirled me around. "You do not look like you just dropped a baby, girl!" Then she froze. I stood there staring at the ceiling while she looked at the fading bruises on my wrists.
"Leave it." I said, pulling away from her and turning back to my soon to be ex-husband.
He looked at the envelope that was tucked under my arm and then back at me.
"What's that, Princesa?"
"Divorce papers."
"Not the same ones I filed because I retracted those when you didn't sign." He arched an eyebrow as he placed our existing marriage back on me.
"These are new, filed just this week. I've already signed them, look over them...I was fair, and I included what you asked for."
"Let's go to my office." I looked back at Nico and said boldly.
"If I'm not back in twenty minutes, come check on me." I watched Nico set his watch and then I turned to Marco with my biggest smirk.
Whatever reason Nico was here, I knew that he'd drop it to put Marco in his place. Him falling in love with my friend had endeared him to me and vice versa. Carmen looked concerned, but I blew her a kiss before following him down the narrow hall to his office.
Even though this room was half the size of Papi's old office, I could tell that it was made to look like a replica. Marco's obsession with my father was borderline psychotic.
He sat down behind his desk and then held his hand out for the folder. When he put on his glasses and looked through the paperwork, I thought all was going well but then he laughed.
"Why should we split properties, Princesa?"
"I went by monetary value. I want the house in St. Mary's. You owe me that house so aside from that...your penthouse is worth the same as this house." I said, trying to keep my cool.
"Okay, I'll give you that but why do you want my penthouse? Why not this house and I noticed that your house in the West Village isn't included in this."
"Fine. St. Mary's house then and no spousal support." I tried to bargain, and he looked at me with his head tilted.
"Okay, that deal I can work with...but I'm going to need something else if you want me to sign these papers."
"And what's that?"
"You."
"You're kidding?"
"We are still married, Princesa and you've been running around playing make believe with that little bimbo. It's been months since I've had some quality pussy...so come sit on my lap and let me fuck you then I'll sign."
I shook my head.
"No."
"Que?"
"Sign first and then I'll let you fuck me."
He smirked and nodded, "Will you need a bump to get through it?"
"I shouldn't...it's been five days."
"Just a bump, to relax you."
"No thanks."
"You may want to call off your guard dog out there, it's going to take me longer than the ten minutes we have left before he barges in here."
Going well. 20 more minutes-Santi
Ok but that's it, my love-Nico
20 minutes and you come save me. Got it.-Santi
That's my girl-Nico
I stood to the side of his desk and slid my pants and panties off. He looked at me licked his lips before signing both sets of papers with his edits scratched in. He put them back in the envelope and handed them to me. I put them on my folded pants and then climbed on his lap.
He was ready for me and I tried to ignore how wrong this felt.
But then Britt's words came back to me.
How can you cheat on someone who is married to someone else?
I yelped when he gripped my ass and then put my hands on his shoulders.
"They just cleared me today, Daddy-o...I'm sensitive...if you have a caring bone left, I'm begging you to be gentle."
"Okay, since you asked so nicely. Sit."
I groaned as I sat down slowly, feeling him stretch me uncomfortably.
He was moving my hips for me, looking me in the eyes with not a drug in his system. I rested my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me as we rocked together.
"I missed you, Princesa. I hope she knows what she's getting...I've trained you so well."
"She knows."
"She's a good lay." He said, probably hoping to get a rise out of me but I already knew.
"Isn't she? Did she show you how good she is with her tongue?"
He groaned and slapped my ass.
"Is that what happened with your wrists, she's so good you let her hurt you?"
"She fucked up...fuck."
"Don't let her hurt you. Otherwise you should have just stayed with me." He grumbled as he kissed my neck and then he hugged me tighter to him. "I did love you, Princesa. Too much."
"This is it." I said as I pulled back and looked in his eyes as I moved my hips the way he liked. "I'm serious."
He nodded and then kissed my lips. I responded because I knew it would make this end faster and after a while of making out he couldn't be slow anymore as he went harder. I bit into his shoulder as I came, and he growled as he did.
Once he was done, I climbed off him and used my panties to wipe off any fluids that he left behind.
As I got dressed, I watched him create lines on his desk and it made my mouth water. Just a bump couldn't hurt. I stood there watching him, even after dressing and getting my envelope. Knowing me all too well, he left just the smallest bump. Half of a half of a line.
"Parting gift." He said. "Come on, Princesa. For the road."
And I nodded, leaned over and sniffed it up.
Just a buzz...no more than a pain killer.
When I walked out of the office right behind Marco, Carmen was sitting on Nico's lap with her head buried on his shoulder.
"Is she okay?" I asked him, and he just looked me up and down.
"She will be. You okay?"
"Yes...Carmen, I'll call you later."
But she didn't answer me...which meant she knew about the bump and she was disappointed.
She once told me that I never wanted to let her down, that it would break her and now it had.
Fuck.
When I got in the car, I saw that I had a missed call from Q and then I looked at the time. Turning on the car, my head feeling clear for the first time in a while I immediately hit the Bluetooth.
"Call Q!"
"Calling Q."
"Where are you?"
"I'm about to head to your house."
"Good because Celia and Rachel are both here."
"What?!"
"Yeah, the glee performance is next Saturday apparently."
"Whoops."
"Yeah...get here."
"I need to stop at my lawyer's office to drop off the papers and then I'll come to you."
"So, you saw him?"
"I did."
"Are you high?"
"I wish."
"What does that mean?"
"It means, Q that my tolerance for drugs is so high that the very small amount I just snorted did nothing for me. It was a waste of my sobriety being broken."
"Are you going to do more?"
"Nah. I'm going to just forget it ever happened. I should be buzz free by the time I get to you."
"Good and he signed the papers?"
"Yes."
"Great, I'm going to call in an order at Breadstix, pick that up too."
"Ay, ay captain!"
My sister was the coolest of the cool about Rachel coming and being all over Quinn and Rachel didn't even make Q feel like shit about it.
It was the weirdest dynamic that I ever had dinner with.
Around the time that Celia decided to head back to Chicago and Rachel, left feeling like her territory was secure, we got the call from one of the Cheerios.
Quinn was sitting on the couch with her foot propped up, staring straight at me as her face got flushed. I was on the edge of the recliner waiting for the news on how my routine went.
I had been messaging Britt for hours with no response.
"No, she's sitting here looking right back at me. Hey, keep this under wraps...if people think it's Santana, let them think it. Yeah...yeah...well congrats Jordan. Thanks for the heads up."
When Q ended the call, she bit her lip before just blurting it out.
"Brittany is having very loud sex in the hotel room and everyone thinks that you snuck on the trip."
"Are they sure it's her?"
"Yes, they said she went into the room with some girl in a red wig...do you know who it could be?"
I sighed and threw my head back...how could I be mad at her...I literally just fucked Marco.
"It's Frankie...I should have expected that she'd go all the way to Pittsburgh to see Britt."
"Why are you so calm about this?"
"Because, Q...it's part of the deal. Until I'm no longer married to Marco, she can go fuck that bitch because we aren't really married."
"That's really fucked up."
"I know."
"Are you going to say something to her?"
I looked at my best friend and then shrugged.
"Do you know that I had to fuck him to get him to sign those papers today? What kind of hypocrite would I be if I gave her shit about this."
Quinn went pale.
"You didn't...San?"
"I did and it's over."
"How do you know?"
"I just do."
"Well on the bright side...they won."
"At least there's that...yay."
I thought things would change once the papers were filed and she knew about it, the agreement would be finished but then Sal called and told me that our divorce was approved and would be finalized thirty days out from filing. Which meant June 7th and when I told her that, she literally circled it on our kitchen calendar.
She came back from competition, like a fucking beast...jealous of Ian...jealous of Quinn and borderline abusive. Two weeks passed with her dropping hints about Frankie showing up in Pittsburgh until I asked her flat out.
"Frankie showed up to the competition, didn't she?"
"Who told you?"
"You have been hinting at it and all the Cheerios have been gossiping about your affair. What was the one thing I asked you?" I said as I stood toe to toe with her in the kitchen one night. Sounding very much like Marco.
"To keep it private."
"And you couldn't do that, could you?"
"Let me make it up to you."
And two weeks after I had sex with Marco, Britt took a strap on and fucked me deep right on the kitchen floor. She fucked me so good that I didn't have another thing to say about her and Frankie. After that we were back to having sex every chance we got. The aggression between us was still there and it still seemed like she had lost apart of herself in Pittsburgh, but I pressed on.
I started spending more time at Quinn's or with Ian at the hospital and each night I'd come home to her fucking herself over video chat with that bitch. Then they'd be done, and it would be my turn.
This time the aggression wasn't one sided, I left scratches on her back and she left bite marks on my neck and shoulders.
She was so into the way we were now that I couldn't deny her, even when I was tired or sore...even if I felt used by the end of it...I was just happy that she was paying me attention over Frankie.
The last Saturday in May was our senior brunch at Breadstix that was followed by a day off on Monday for Memorial Day. Britt had been off her pills for nearly a month now and I was paying the price for it.
She had been taking out her frustration with the little shit that I did that she didn't approve of, during sex. It seemed to be the way she kept herself from gripping me up. Only during sex could she hold onto me without me begging her to stop because I was willing to take it all even if it was painful at times.
I was pressed against the shower wall with my leg thrown over her hip, just before the brunch, as she fucked me with four fingers. I rested my head against her shoulder as she growled into my neck.
"You like when I fuck you like this, baby?"
"Y-yes! More...harder B...God! Ahhh" I felt my eyes nearly pop out as she shifted and got her whole hand inside of me. It felt uncomfortable at first but then she began to move, and I felt like I was going to fall to pieces. "Shit!"
"Mmmm...that's my little Ana, taking it like a champ...you keep taking it like this and I won't need Frankie so much while I'm home from the tour." My heart leapt a little...so this is what she needed...I could do this. "Is this too much? Huh? Can you take it?"
"I can take it all B...all of it...B! I-I'm c-c-cumming! Shit!"
"I want you to give me all you got...I gave Frankie five orgasms in a row...can you beat that?" she was taunting me but Santana fucking Lopez doesn't back down from a challenge.
"Yes...baby...ayyyyy...B!"
"That's two..."
"Harder B!" I screamed.
I groaned when she abruptly pulled out of me.
"In the bed, on your knees." she slapped my ass as I stood back on shaky legs. I wanted my wife back...but she seemed long gone.
"We're going to be late for the brunch, B." I whined.
"Fuck the brunch! We will show up fashionably late. In bed! Don't make me say it again!"
I pushed my aching body to climb onto the bed and get into position with my feet dangling over the side of the mattress just like she wanted and before I could even prepare myself, she was sliding her whole hand back inside of me.
"Fuck!" I moaned into the mattress, that did not feel good. She held onto my shoulder as she took me completely...deeper than before. I was screaming now as my tears soaked the pillow. My body was so close to climaxing. The only sound in the room was our grunts and the wet slapping sound as she pounded over and over.
"Mmmmm...harder! Faster!" I yelled because it excited her, even though I wanted softer and slower. "Ayyyyy!" I screamed as I came again back to back to back.
I was at four orgasms now.
"Show me why I should marry you for real, Ana!" she muttered into my ear. I began to push back into her hand as she pounded trying to make this happen faster. My orgasm came hard and had me seeing stars.
I was at five and was barely hanging on as she kept going, driving me to delirium.
"More B...yes! More! Just like that...mmmmm!" Six, beat that bitch! Even though I was tired and had passed the goal. I was panting and tired but was ready for more if that's what she wanted.
"You still want more?"
"I'm yours, B!" I could tell that Britt was worn out because she was slowing down and then finally, she pulled out of me. I collapsed to the bed, in a puddle of my own making.
"My hand hurt...sorry baby."
"It's okay B. We can try again later...ok?" I said smiling through my discomfort.
"With the strap on?"
"Whatever you want baby." I just wanted a fucking break...my body ached. "For now, let's get in the shower again but no funny business. Okay?"
I hadn't wanted to go to the stupid brunch, it was a three-day weekend and with Isaac in the regular nursery now just a month after being born, that was where I wanted to be but no...I had to go...glee club was performing, and they'd roped me into it.
How fucking great!
I just wanted to be with my son, but B had asked to go and perform, with the cutest pout on her face, so I couldn't say no. I was standing under the water when I felt B pull me back against her,
"Britt! We're going to be late!" I whined but she just grunted and bent me back over.
How was she more insatiable than Marco?
"I want that last orgasm, I know you were almost there." she said, as she pushed on my upper half until I was completely bent over.
"Okay B...but we have to leave soon...okay?"
I tried not to sound too much like I was begging, not that it would have mattered.
I felt the water pounding down on my back as I held onto the edge of the tub with my head just inches from the wall.
She only used two fingers this time and it was only moments before I crumbled again. Like this, it felt better. More pleasurable. More like being in love but then she had to go and ruin it.
"That wasn't good enough, Ana." she said as she slapped my ass.
"I'm sorry." I groaned.
"You're not sorry yet!"
Fuck.
I knew that meant we were definitely going to be late. She had been saying that whenever I spent "too much" time with Ian. Last night, Ian and I had stayed until the end of visiting hours and then he took me out for pizza before I drove him home. The night before, I had spent the night with Quinn after working on a project. Britt had Cheerios drills and couldn't make it both times. Now I was going to pay for it.
"Don't move...I don't want to wait for later. Just a quickie!"
This was all a part of her game...fuck me into oblivion, so that I was nice at these stupid functions and I wasn't flirting too much with Ian or Q.
I was scared to see what happened for prom night, especially, if either one of them wanted to dance with me. Britt dug her fingers into my hips and slammed into me hard with the strap-on. I barely had time to breathe with her rapid movements. She was jack-hammering into me and I was trying not to scream, not wanting to encourage her.
"Are you holding out on me, Ana?"
"N-no Britt."
"Sounds like it, what I'm not as good as Ian? Not as cool as Quinn? Hmm?"
"I'm yours baby, only yours, no one fucks me like you do...ahhhhh fuck!"
"Am. I. too. much. for. you? Hmm? Maybe I should find someone else, I mean, if you can't handle it."
"Fuck! So good B! I wish you could just fuck me all day!" I groaned out.
I knew it was a stretch, but I knew what her response would be to my pronouncement.
"Too bad...brunch and then the hospital and then the sleepover tonight with Q and Rachel."
"Are you sure you can't fuck me any more baby? Oh...god! Harder baby! Like that...yes!" I screamed out. She finally pulled back and slammed back in. I came again screaming her name.
"Maybe, I'll find the time." she said as she smacked my ass again.
I came three times before Britt was finally satisfied that I had been dealt with. She left me alone to shower while she pulled out our clothes. I felt horrible with the way things were going since this whole deal because I wasn't getting anything out of this arrangement.
I was sore all the time and I was starting to feel like a piece of trash.
The more I gave of myself to Britt the worse I felt.
I found myself anxious for September to come so that I could get a break from her.
We ended up getting to brunch only thirty minutes late. I was so sore that I was dreading being around my peers and having to sit-down especially with her hovering over me all the time, at this rate, Frankie could have her.
I plastered on a huge smile, after promising Britt that I would be on my best behavior.
"San! You made it!" Quinn hobbled over to me in her boot. I smiled at her and immediately regretted it. B squeezed at my hand before I could say the hundred or so cripple jokes that were floating in my head. Even if that was just how me and Q were...but I got the message.
So, I was nice.
"Hey Q, how are you?"
Quinn noticed, and she didn't like what she saw.
"Fine, hey B would you mind if I stole San for a little while?"
"Sure thing...I wanted to go hang out with the glee club for a bit anyway...see ya!"
"Thanks, B!"
Britt bounced off in her mock aloofness and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"You look like hell." Q whispered in my ear as she pulled me off to a solitary booth.
"Then I look how I feel."
"Why is this only the second time that we have been alone in almost a month? What's going on with you? If I didn't know any better I'd think that Britt turned into Marco, I'm starting to worry. I'm happy that you have been clean, but does that mean you have to stop living? Is B acting like Marco?"
"As always Q, you really aren't far off from the truth."
Quinn sat in stunned silence and then reached out for my hand, but I pulled my hands off the table and dropped them into my lap and just shook my head. Even with her across the room, I knew that Britt was watching.
"I can't do that, not while she can see us. She thinks that we are too intimate for best friends...I mean she knows how intimate I was with her as my best friend."
"But we are just best friends. We weren't even serious when we had sex with each other. It's not happening again. We agreed."
"Doesn't matter...she is past the point of reason."
"Shit! You can't live like this...not again. Are you even happy anymore?"
"No...aside from Isaac...being around you is the best part of my day."
"Mine too!"
"I'm just trying to keep the peace with her. After fucking Marco for those papers, I feel guilty. She deserves my devotion."
"Is she still cheating on you?"
"It's not really cheating, I told you that."
"That's really screwed up...quick ask me something...she's coming over here."
"Um...so when's the cast come off?"
"Not soon enough...hopefully I won't be hobbling into college like this."
"Hey Q...you think I can have Ana back?" Britt said as she hovered over me.
"Yea sure B. San, do me a favor, when you see Rachel, can you tell her where I am? I don't think I can make the journey."
"Sure thing Q." I winked and walked away.
As we walked over to the buffet, Britt leaned down next to my ear and whispered,
"Did that husky voice of hers make you wet?"
I pulled back in shock.
"Are you fucking kidding me right now, Brittany?" I whispered back harshly
Britt let out a fake chuckle, ignoring my question.
"Let's eat!" she said in her bubbly Brittany voice.
I found Rachel harassing the manager of the place about proper arrangement of microphones or something and pulled her away.
"Hey, Rach...my friend over there needs some sweet lady kisses."
Rachel looked over at Quinn sitting alone in a booth playing with a straw wrapper and dazing out the window.
"I guess you're right...thanks for the heads up." she said as she wandered over to Q.
When we sat down Britt had crinkled up her brow and was watching someone over my shoulder. There was only one person that made that face appear and I was afraid of what was coming. I had purposely sat with my back to the restaurant so that she didn't think I wasn't checking anyone out and here she was not even looking at me, obviously more interested in the rest of the room.
I kicked her under the table "accidentally" and then smiled.
"Still sore?" she asked raising her eyebrow.
I looked down at my plate not bothering to answer.
The rest of the brunch had been a snooze fest with exception of B finding ways to take digs at my friendship with Q. The glee club performed, and it was one of the first times in a long while that I felt genuinely happy. After we climbed from the stage and sat back down in our booth, Puck and Ian came to sit with us.
Puck sat beside Britt and was picking at what was left of her French toast sticks while Ian squeezed in next to me.
Bad move, Perkins.
I sat stiffly until he playfully began to poke me in the ribs making me laugh out loudly.
God, why was he doing this?
I could see the chill in B's eyes, so I tried to avoid them at all cost.
"Hey baby Mami, you okay?" Ian joked, I punched his arm trying to get him to stop, he just chuckled and took a sip of my orange juice.
I found myself wishing that he and I had become friends sooner because he was a cool ass dude.
"Nothing much, Papa bear. Noah...what's up with you, what do we owe the honor of you two young strapping gentlemen at our table? Hate to break it to you but we are married teen lesbians!"
"Well Quinn invited us tonight for a small soiree and I was wondering if I could catch a ride with you two since we are all headed to see Isaac after this?"
"Absolutely, you got it papa bear." I said leaning into him. He threw his arm over my shoulder and then looked at Britt having quickly learned that he had to always ask her things too.
"How about you Brittany you don't mind do you?"
"Nah...as a matter of fact, I'm going to cut out on the hospital and maybe even the party. My parents have been bugging me to visit them, plus, I need to finish my senior project. Babe can you drop me off on your way to the hospital, right?"
"You sure you don't want to go?" Britt nodded and then looked out the window. I turned to Ian, "I guess it's just the two of us. Since we are going to the hospital and then both going to the party do you just wanna ride with me all day? How did you get here?"
"That would be great...and I walked here, duh, you know, I do only live two blocks away."
"Right."
The guys got up from the table to go cause trouble elsewhere, so I took the opportunity to slide in the booth next to Britt. I didn't want this to get ugly later.
I knew that Britt was pissed, I could feel the anger rolling off her in waves, but she was good at masking her feelings. Cautiously, I leaned in and kissed her. I pulled back and looked up into her eyes and could see that she was fighting back tears. I leaned my nose against hers and put my hands on either side of her face to make sure she was only looking at me.
"Always and only yours, B."
"Okay." she said wiping her eyes.
"Don't cry. I'm sorry for whatever I did."
"Yeah...right!" she said blinking her eyes rapidly trying to stop the tears.
"Tell me how to fix this B, I won't drive him if you don't want me to. I'll go tell him right now."
"Look, Ana, I think I need to go to New York...it's a holiday weekend and I want to make the most of it."
"Okay. When do you want to leave? How much should I pack?"
"No. Santana, I'm going alone."
"A-alone? B? What are you going to do there alone? Who are you going to do?"
I felt the tears burning my eyes, but I would not cry here.
"Stop whining Ana, it's so fucking unattractive." she said.
I got up from the booth and grabbed my purse ready to storm from the restaurant when she ended up pushing me out of the way and walking to the door.
Fuck that!
I chased her all the way out to the parking lot and I grabbed her arm spinning her around to face me. I held her arm tightly, stared her straight in the eyes and kept my voice at a low and angry whisper.
"How are you going to fucking pay for it? Hmm? Don't think I'm going to bankroll your trip to New York, so that you can go fuck someone else!"
She looked at me and then yanked her arm away.
"I don't need any money from you, Santana! I don't need anything from you!"
With that, she stormed off without even looking back over her shoulder.
And I just stood there in the parking lot of Breadstix with the whole fucking senior class watching me get rejected by, Brittany.
I am sure that I looked completely pathetic standing there all alone, just watching her walk off, until I couldn't see her anymore, but I didn't care.
My heart was breaking.
I was so fucking sick and tired of the bullshit!
How had everything gotten so screwed up?