Chapter 54:We All Want Love (Rihanna)

When we got to Quinn's house, I gave the keys back to Ian and told him to go get ice and that if he scratched my car I was going to sue him. He looked scared enough to drive like a grandma again, which was more than okay with me, even if I had given him shit for it.

I laughed to myself and grabbed my AUX cord, before heading inside. I was way early as I helped Quinn up the stairs to her room, so she could get changed and chill for a bit before the madness began.

I left her there and headed straight down to the basement to get things ready. Her house was split level, so the basement was underground in the front but opened to the backyard in the back. I pulled open the patio doors, so the pool was in full view and thanked the gods that Judy was in San Francisco with Frannie for Memorial Day weekend.

Q had insisted that it was still a little too chill for the pool, but I wanted people to have the option. As I looked at it, I thought of all the fun me, Q and B had in this pool. We had countless sleepovers and so much girl talk. Our first kiss was on the side of that pool and I found myself getting a little misty eyed.

Britt should be here with me making more memories before we had to be parents full time. We should be partying like we used to do before Marco came back into my life but here I was, all alone. Sniffing back the tears, I internally scolded myself and focused on what I was doing.

I set up the stereo and then put the music on shuffle, I wanted to go big and have a blast. My real life could be on pause for just a little while longer. Britt and I were essentially taking a break for the weekend, if she wanted to go sow her while oats or whatever the fuck she was doing, she could. We'd agreed, and I had broken the deal. I'd fucked Marco instead of suing him like I should have.

Breathe, Lopez.

I pulled out my phone, feeling a little shaky.

Yo! let's make tonight epic! Bring the booze and just few cool peeps!-Santana

Say less. Seniors only. Yes?-Fuckerman

Yes.-Santana

Cool, c u soon-Fuckerman

I texted the biggest gossip on the Cheerios and told her that there was a party at Q's, knowing that she would take care of the girls for me.

The party was definitely on!

After I was sure that the party would be able to kick off from the moment people walked in, I ran upstairs, grabbing my bag from the living room on my way up to Quinn's room. My body still ached but I was feeling better. Thankfully!

In my entire friendship with Quinn, I have never needed to knock on her door before entering but I'm thinking that maybe I should start. When I swung the door open and Rachel was in nothing but her panties, straddling Quinn's waist and making out with her, as she lay flat on her back, my jaw dropped.

Who knew Quinn had it like that?

This was a fabulous way to recuperate from a broken bone, why hadn't I thought of that?

This should have been how Britt was with me...even if I had given her stitches!

Some girls just have all the luck!

"Damn hobbit...if I had known that you were hiding that body under those ugly sweaters...shit...get it Q!"

I got matching glares as I laughed.

"San! Seriously? Go!"

"Okay, okay!"

I shut the door and left them to it.

Disgusted and intrigued at the same time, I headed to the guest room instead of watching any longer although it was pretty hot.

Thankfully I had showered at home, so I didn't have to waste time. I changed into my bikini that I had worked hard all month to look good in again and threw a short red summer dress over it but when I looked in the mirror, I was immediately annoyed with Britt again, as I noticed the bruises wrapping my hips and thighs. I covered my bruises with a layer of concealer and then took a step back to make sure that I had gotten everything.

I was so over having to cover bruises...even sexual ones. This was not how things were supposed to be...not with Brittany. We couldn't stay like this. Things had to change. My tolerance was nearly non-existent but again, we were on a pause. She'd given me permission to do what I needed to do.

So, I needed swallow all my shit and keep it moving.

I put a light layer of make-up on my face with a little lip gloss before finger combing through my summer curls. When all was said and done, I looked and felt like a new woman! I double checked my reflection and was satisfied that I was looking fucking amazing and definitely fuckable, although, I didn't want to be fucked.

"Damn...how do manage to be so damn hot! Wow, Santana, you sure you want to stay off the market?"

"Fuck off, Puckerman!" I turned towards him scowling playfully.

"I noticed that being your baby daddy gives BMW privileges...I guess I knocked up the wrong head Cheerio."

"I would have kicked your ass if you had knocked me up and I would never have let you drive my chick magnet. Ian is just amazing and I love him more than you."

"Don't let the wife of yours hear you say that."

"She isn't here to care, now, is she? Nope...I didn't think so!"

"Are you saying that I get my wing-woman tonight? Sweet! The party is starting to jump off,...oh and tell my baby mama that she should lock the door."

"Yea, I know, I walked in on them too. Am I the only one in the glee club that didn't know Rachel was so hot under those outfits?"

"Yep!"

When Puck left, I took a selfie and texted it to B.

What you're missing-Ana

She messaged right back.

Almost want to turn around-B

Almost?-Ana

Yeah. IMU-B

Prove it-Ana

I tossed my phone on the bed with my things and then locked the door, not wanting anyone in here with my shit. Thankfully, Q kept the key in in her room, so I wouldn't have to hold onto it in this skimpy two piece that I had bought to show off my body but cover my scar. That was still too personal to share.

My fingers ghosted over it as I thought of my baby boy.

I banged on Q's door and interrupted her moaning.

"What, Santana?!"

"Hurry the fuck up, you have guests to entertain in the basement."

"Yeah...you got it. Fuck, right there baby!"

I plugged my fingers in my ears.

"la la la la!" I yelled before heading down the steps.

The party was indeed already bumping, and the sun had barely set. People were grinding all over each other and were making out like some sort of orgy was about to begin. Everywhere I turned, there was groping and kissing, which made me feel hot. My hormones were still raging as I thought of my wife once again.

When people saw me, sober and smiling they winked or would high-five me like I was the President. It made me feel confident that I was still someone, even when I felt like I was at the bottom of the food chain these days.

Feeling a new burst of confidence, I made my way to the stereo, turned the bass higher and began to dance with Puck. We'd grown apart this year, but he seemed love me just the same. Olivia had dated him, lead him on and then dumped him in front of everyone after he defended me.

For that he had my loyalty forever.

As we danced, with room for Jesus between us he snickered. What felt like a lifetime ago, when I felt rejected by Britt, I had run to him instead of owning my shit. I was a different person now, more dedicated, devoted, and faithful even when my wife wasn't. She'd stood by me, waiting for me when I was with Marco in New York.

She had even still loved me after learning I was hooked on coke and had escorted. Even after I told her about my first night, how I had taken seven men one after another.

Right now, she was figuring herself out and her meds were out of whack. I knew that Frankie was a phase for her, just her rebelling so just like she had been with me...I would stay faithful.

At least when it came to Noah.

When I felt the large hand touch the small of my back, rubbing at my bare skin, I felt my resolve slip a bit. Britt had given me a pass...now I just trying to figure out if I wanted to take it.

I turned to him and melted when he was smiling down at me dangling my car keys. Crazy happy to see him, I pursed my lips and gave him my cheek to kiss.

"How's my whip?" I whispered against his ear.

"Perfect."

"Good job Papa bear!" I said leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"Are you ready to have some fun?" he smiled sweetly.

"Beyond ready! You don't mind if I steal my baby mama, do you?" Ian smiled at Puck as he grabbed my hand and Puck threw his hands up and nodded.

"All yours." Ian pumped his fist and then pulled me away towards the bar.

Holding his hand was bittersweet, I felt the love from Ian that I craved from Britt and it kept feeling like a knife in my chest was being twisted. I had to numb this feeling without coke, no matter what, no coke.

We walked out onto the patio that overlooked the pool and found the bar Puck had set up.

I steered clear of the tequila since it causes black outs and pregnancies (at least for me) and headed straight for the flavored rum, grabbing a whole bottle for me and Ian to share.

"I sense a drinking game coming on!" I heard Puck yell out from behind us.

Fuck, I knew this was going to lead to some shit, it always did. Luckily the crowd hadn't gotten uncomfortably large.

There were about forty of us all dancing and drinking but the moment Puck said drinking game, everyone rushed over to the bar to grab a shot glass or cup.

Great!

People were camped out everywhere some still making out, others looking like they were going to make babies right in front of everyone.

Gross!

There was strip poker in one corner, flip cup by the pool and someone was setting up a game of beer pong but Puck...he was sticking to never have I ever because when you have done as much as we have it's a surefire way to get trashed fast.

Just my luck.

Even though people were into other games they still took shots if they did something that someone called out. Things were easy going and I had only taken one shot so far...but then it changed. I heard Rachel yell from the top of the steps,

"Never have I ever fucked Santana Lopez!" I whipped around and gave her both middle fingers.

"Really Rachel! I thought we were cool?"

"That's for not knocking earlier!"

"Wait for me!"

Quinn came hopping down the stairs behind her girlfriend with a huge smile on her face. I had been perched on Ian's lap on the loveseat, Quinn plopped down next to us and Rachel handed her a shot glass.

"Alright...I didn't admit to it last year but I'm into full disclosure these days," Quinn said while winking at Rachel. Gross! "Ok, so who fucked Santana? Show of hands...wow...she's been busy! Okay, ok, Ready on 3!"

I sat there watching as half the room was throwing back shots including Quinn. God...had I really been with that many people? Britt had been justified in calling me a slut but these days I only wanted to be hers. I needed her to understand that.

These days, I wanted to be someone different...not just Marco's whore. I heard laughter from behind me and turned to watch as Ian threw back his shot and then quickly poured another before he growled out,

"As her baby daddy, it's my turn! Never have I ever fucked Noah Puckerman!"

"Fuck! Ian? Come on! Here fill me up!" I groaned.

"Me too, that's my baby daddy!" Quinn chuckled. After we got through all the who fucked whom, I was at least seven shots in and was feeling close to blacking out.

"Enough! I want to make this more interesting let's play spin the bottle!" Rachel yelled.

"Oh God! Not that again!" I said slapping my palm to my face.

People were off doing her own thing, while a smaller group of us (mainly glee kids) played spin the bottle like fucking teenyboppers. It was a good way to close out an insane year. Rachel spun first and landed on me and looked over at Q for permission.

"You deserve it I made out with your wife."

Everyone went silent and looked between us. I had tried to keep that from being common knowledge, but it was out there now. People looked at me and I felt my face get hot.

"Fuck you Quinn!" I said as I got up and pulled Rachel to her feet. "Let's see what all the hype is about...shall we?"

Everyone was hooting and hollering as I crashed my lips into Rachel's and immediately, I was shocked. Rachel took over the kiss almost immediately and sucked my bottom lip into her mouth and nibbled on it. I groaned, wanting her to take over. Maybe Carmen has always been right about me being a natural submissive. Maybe if I embraced it, I would have less problems. She bumped her hips into mine and I couldn't stop myself from moaning.

"That's enough, San!" I heard Quinn say but when I tried to pull away Rachel cupped the back of my head and rubbed my neck and I turned to putty. Did everyone know about my neck? I continued to hear the catcalls and whistles and found myself hoping that no one took a picture but I'm sure they had...

Britt was going to kill me, this was not in our deal. Just Q and Ian...but now that the liquor was invading my system, there was no telling what I'd be down for. We finally came up for air and I put my hands to my lip, I could feel how swollen it was from her sucking it. I felt high off her kiss and utterly turned on.

Then I looked at her face and remembered that she was a hobbit and was so very confused.

I sat back down on the floor and leaned back against Ian's chest. When I looked to my right, I could see that Quinn was glaring at me, but I just stuck out my tongue at her.

"My turn!" I leaned down and spun the bottle and when it turned right back to where we were sitting, I knew my ass was grass when B came home.

"Looks like fate to me." Q snickered.

"Don't be a bitch, Q!" I sneered at her.

"I'm a bitch and proud of it, now kiss your Papa bear over there!" she said winking. I was basically in his lap, so I just turned around, sitting on my knees as I waited for him to lean in. The moment Ian pressed his lips to mine it reminded me of my first kiss with B, that happened only a few feet away, where everything and everyone in the room disappeared.

He wrapped his arms around me and leaned against the couch, pulling me with him. I straddled his hips and kissed him way more intensely than I had kissed Rachel.

With Ian, I was the one in control and it was an addictive feeling, he was letting me lead him and I could understand how you could get power hunger over that feeling. He let out a small whimper when I nibbled on his bottom lip. I was kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

"Hey! Hey Santana, that's enough! If you get knocked up again, your wife is going to kick your ass!"

I raised my middle finger in Noah's general direction and continued to suck at Ian's neck now. I was drunk and horny, I could feel my needy, weepiness coming on and I didn't want to cry over B. She'd given me this pass and I was ready to take it.

As I reached my hands under Ian's shirt, I could suddenly feel myself being hoisted up in the air. Ian was in a daze, smiling as he watched me be lifted.

"Put me down Noah!"

"I said that you needed to stop. You need to cool off!"

When his words hit me, I realized where we were headed and tried to grab anything I could to stop him. I was screaming at him, but he wasn't listening.

"Oh God...no! Please! Noa-"

Before I could breathe in and hold my breath, I was hurtling through the air into the deep end of the pool. I sunk like a stone, the cesarean had cut across the muscles in my stomach and I hadn't fully gotten my strength back there yet. When I tried to swim to the surface, I had sharp pains shooting across my abdomen. Not expecting the pain and spasms, I gasped out in pain and ended up swallowing a ton of water.

I felt like I was dying as I choked and struggled to get to the surface and then everything was black, and I was floating.

Maybe I should have taken it as a sign.

My nose and throat were burning as I coughed up water and began to vomit. A soaking wet Ian was knelt over me with a look of panic on his face when I came to.

"Hey, Mami, you okay?"

"Yea..." I coughed out.

"Good...no better way to clear a party then someone nearly dying...wow."

"Yea?"

"I'm glad that you're okay."

"Party's over?"

"Definitely."

"That sucks, it's not even dark yet!"

"Yea but they were mostly underage so if the cops showed up nobody was trying to get caught. Luckily I saved you."

"You saved my life?"

"Kinda..."

"Remind me to buy you a car."

"Sure thing! You okay?"

"Yes. Can you help me up?"

"Right sorry!"

When I was finally on my feet, I noticed that Quinn was cursing out Puck along with Rachel who had her hands on her hips and was getting in on the action.

"So, are we all that's left?" I croaked, my throat aching.

"Yea."

"That sucks, after today, I really needed to relax...you know?"

"At least you're still alive. Isaac didn't lose his Mami which is a win."

"You're right."

"Are you sure that you're okay?"

"I think so, can you come upstairs with me? I still feel off."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"I don't care about that right now. I just feel light-headed and need to change and so do you."

"Fine but only to make sure that you're not passed out."

I grabbed his hand and led him past the arguing and up the two flights of stairs to the guest room. He seemed nervous, but I just ignored it.

Ian was stripped down to his trunks with a towel over his shoulders as he sat on the bed watching me. I went into Q's empty room and grabbed the key to the guest room before heading back to unlock it. Once we were inside, I closed the door and dug some clothes out of my bag before stripping all my clothes off in full view of Ian.

He pretended not to watch me as I stood there naked right next to him continuing to search through my bag for my shower stuff. I didn't care enough to be shy now and could feel a headache coming on.

"How long did it take me to come around?" I asked as I rubbed at my temples.

"I jumped into the pool the moment you didn't pop back up and immediately started CPR when you weren't breathing."

"Shit...thank you."

I finally grabbed a towel out of my bag and then walked into the bathroom. Feeling unsteady still, I turned back and caught his eyes practically glued to my ass. I cleared my throat and smiled at him.

"You coming, creeper?"

"In there?"

"Yes."

"To uh...shower?"

"Not exactly, can you just sit in here with me? I really don't want to be alone with the way my head is feeling."

I was feeling needy and usually this would be Q but with her all crippled and angry at Puck, I happily settled for Ian. I hung up my towel in the rack and turned on the water and let it heat up. Ian sat there watching me as I shut the door and locked it.

He gulped hard and turned pink as I stood there waiting for the water to heat up.

"Are you always this comfortable walking around naked?"

"I've got nothing to hide, so yes, I always have been like this especially around certain people."

"I feel honored then...is that um the scar?" he said pointing towards the hairline below my stomach.

"Yea...that's it."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Only when I try to swim apparently." I chuckled. He looked fascinated. "You can touch it if you want."

He looked up at me to see if I was fucking with him but then I grabbed his hand and put his fingers against the scar. There was just something about Ian that made me feel safe...made me feel loved. I wanted Britt so badly to be the one touching me, to be the one fascinated with me.

I knew that I was toying with his emotions and pushing past a barrier, but I just needed the love.