"What a fuckin' shitty day." Wolf mumbled to himself. He gulped down his beer and wiped his lips with his wrist.
He was sitting at his favorite bar in the city of Rexia on the planet Macbeth. Rexia was run by the criminals of Lylat, it was a bustling hub where mercenaries and outlaws can come to gamble, drink and spend their dirty money. The Cornerian government had no presence within this city, allowing people like Wolf to freely visit. The bar was called The Alley Cat, named after the bartender who was as the name suggested. The Alley Cat was never in the best condition, with dilapidated furniture and flickering neon signs. Hell, the billiards table was missing a ball or two. But the booze was good, which was good enough for Wolf. The place was filled with others who had come to forget the day with alcohol. Some were sitting at the bar, and others were playing pool or throwing knives at a dartboard. Normally, Wolf liked to come to this place with Leon and Panther to celebrate a successful job, but tonight was different. The job they just went through was an embarrassment, and Wolf got a headache just thinking about it. It was a simple job, how could they fuck up so badly? He needed some alcohol in his system.
Wolf took another drink of his beer and pulled his phone from his pocket. There were two missed calls and a few texts from Leon, asking him where he was and when he was coming home. Wolf didn't bother replying, instead turning his phone off and putting it back into his pocket. He grabbed the bottle of beer and downed the rest of it. "I want another." Wolf said in a low, gravelly tone.
"Sure thing." the bartender said and grabbed another bottle of beer from the shelves behind him and set it down in front of Wolf. This was Wolf's fourth beer. The bartender here didn't care whether his patrons were too drunk or not, as long as they wanted more he gave it to them. The law had no effect here, and what happened to his patrons afterwards didn't concern him. "Wolf, where's your friends?" The bartender asked.
"None of your fuckin' business," Wolf replied, "And don't say my name." The bartender didn't even bother apologizing, just went on with what he was doing. Wolf grabbed the bottle and drank about half of it in one go, before slamming the bottle back down onto the bar. It was clear that he was drunk as fuck. Wolf scratched his claws along the top of the bar. He attempted to scratch his name into the wood, but the result was incomprehensible, due both to his drunken state and the scratches that the bar had already sustained. Wolf took another drink, and the bartender set a bowl of beer nuts in front of him. Wolf slammed his hand into the bowl, grabbed a handful of nuts and tossed them into his mouth. Before he was finished chewing, he raised his beer to take another sip, spilling some on his tank top. Wolf didn't bother wearing his signature mercenary outfit. Instead he just wore a white tank top and a pair of black sweatpants. He didn't care that he looked broke. Besides, he didn't want to attract any attention.
The door to the bar swung open and a large skunk entered. He sauntered over to the bar and took a seat next to Wolf. The skunk was a big guy, almost wider than he was tall. Wolf did not appreciate the guy sitting next to him, being too close for comfort. The skunk's fat was almost brushing up against Wolf. Why did he have to sit here? Wolf shook his head and grabbed the bottle. He tried taking a sip, but spilled some more on himself.
"Woah, slow down buddy." the skunk said in a playful tone. Wolf turned his head and stared at him with his singular eye.
"What did you just say to me?" Wolf said with a look of pure hatred.
"I said slow down buddy... You spilled some on yourself." replied the skunk.
"Don't talk to me. I'm not your buddy." Wolf stated.
"Sorry...I was just trying to be friendly."
"Why did you sit your fat ass next to me?"
"Okay sorry...asshole." The skunk muttered under his breath.
Wolf looked over at him with pure disgust. "Well are you gonna fucking move or not?"
The skunk looked directly into Wolf's eye. "Nope."
"Do you know who you're tal-"
"Yes, everyone know who you are! You ain't shit. Those little Starfox guys kicked your ass." This statement filled Wolf with rage. He yelled and tackled the skunk off of his seat. The skunk landed on his back, with Wolf on top of him trying to choke him. Thrashing around, the skunk was able to turn over and get on top of Wolf. At first pinned by the skunk's weight, Wolf was able to free himself with a good kick to the gut. Both returned to their feet. Everyone turned and watched, but no one intervened. Even the bartender watched with a smile on his face. Wolf charged at the skunk and hit him in the stomach followed by a solid left hook to the face. The skunk was pushed back and rubbed the blood from his mouth. Wolf ran at him again, but this time the skunk was able to use his hand to catch Wolf's punch and promptly punched him back. Wolf stumbled back, his drunken state taking a toll on his coordination and inhibitions. He sloppily charged at skunk who simply stepped aside as Wolf ran past him and fell to the floor. "Looks like someone had too much to drink," the skunk laughed, "should have listened to my advice."
"Fuck...you." Wolf said with slurred speech. Wolf noticed that everyone in the bar was watching them, some even held their phones out to record the fight. Normally all the attention would make Wolf rethink what he was doing, but the alcohol in his system erased any common sense he had. "You stupid piece of shit!" Wolf exclaimed.
The skunk lowered his guard and laughed. "Okay buddy, you brought this on yourself." He turned his back towards Wolf.
"What? You idiot." Wolf took advantage of this and approached the skunk.
As Wolf got closer the skunk dropped his pants and lifted his tail. Wolf stopped dead in his tracks.
"OH SHIT!"
Leon paced back and forth in the bridge of their home base. "Panther, I'm worried about Wolf. He hasn't responded to any of my texts." Leon said. Panther walked up and put his hand on the chameleon's shoulder.
"Look, I'm sure he's fine. He's probably out clearing his head after that job." Panther stated trying to comfort Leon.
"He usually tells us where he's going. He doesn't just leave like this." Leon looked at his phone again to see if he replied, but alas, Wolf did not.
"Listen, after today, he's just probably out drinking. Stop worrying about it, he's a grown man."
Leon took a deep breath. "Okay...you're right." the chameleon said while putting his phone back into his pocket.
"Let's go do something in the rec room, get your mind off it."
"Okay." Panther turned around and walked out of the bridge and Leon began to follow. "Hold on, I'm gonna call him one more time."
Panther rolled his eyes, "Ugh...fine." Leon took his phone out again and called Wolf. They waited while it dialed, but there was no answer. Leon sighed and put his phone away. "Let's go." Panther and Leon walked out of the bridge and down the corridors to the rec room to find something to do while they waited for Wolf to return.
"Do you not care about our boss at all." Leon asked with a tinge of anger in his voice.
"Yes I fucking care about him! There's just nothing we can do about it!" Panther yelled. They both stopped walking. Panther turned to Leon and looked him in the eyes. "Listen, I know about you and him. I understand. But honestly, it's probably good that he's not here."
"How so?"
"Because he'd be taking his anger out on us."
"It wasn't anyone's fault, it was a collective mistake."
"Doesn't matter, he's still gonna be pissy. Let's just wait for him to calm himself down. He'll be home soon." Leon sighed and nodded his head in agreement. They both continued to walk down the hallway.
"What did you mean when you said you know about him and I?" Leon asked quietly.
"You know what I'm talking about."
Wolf burst though the doors of the bar, clutching his nose and coughing. He tripped and collapsed onto the sidewalk. A crowd of people exited behind him, disgusted by the smell. They made sure to avoid the stinky wolf who was laying face-down on the concrete. Wolf tried to use his hands to get himself up, but as he took his hands off his nose, the smell assaulted him. He began gagging and threw up on the ground in front of him. He laid back down into the puddle of vomit and blacked out. A few moments later he snapped back to consciousness upon hearing his phone ring. It had fallen out of his pocket and was on the ground beside. He slowly moved is head to the side to see who was calling. It was Leon, of course. Wolf could not muster the strength to answer the call and eventually the phone stopped ringing. Taking another whiff, he vomited again, adding to the puddle. As he laid on the concrete, multiple people passed by him. He could hear them making remarks, but couldn't tell exactly what they were saying. It took a few minutes for the world around him to stop spinning, then he was able to regain control of his body. He sat up onto his knees and looked at the vomit in front of him.
The smell was stuck in his nostrils like burning rubber. Wolf lifted his arm up and sniffed it, causing him to almost vomit again.
"What the fuck?" he said with a weak voice. "Bastard sprayed me!" Wolf got up off the ground and picked up his phone. He needed to get home and get rid of this smell. Avoiding the public was his number one priority, he did not need any attention right now. Instead of taking the sidewalks, he turned into the back alleys. Wolf knew from memory which direction he needed to head in to get to the lot where his Wolfen was parked. Thankfully this place was not too far from The Alley Cat, and he'd be able to reach the lot without crossing any main roads. The stinking wolf traversed through the dark alleyways, his lack of sobriety making it much more difficult. Finally he reached the place he was looking for. He paused before making his way to the front entrance. "I'm not going through the front smelling like this." Wolf walked around the lot and found a part of the fence that was broken, allowing him to get through without being seen or smelled by anyone. After making his way to the other side of the fence, he made his way to the spot where his Wolfen was. Normally you have to pay before picking your spacecraft up, but that just wasn't going to happen. Wolf got to his spot and patted his pockets to get his keys. At first he couldn't feel them, which caused him to panic, but he realized they were in his back pocket. He pulled them out and pressed the unlock button. The Wolfen made a small noise and the cockpit latch opened up. Wolf climbed up onto the wing and then into the cockpit. Upon sealing the cockpit latch above him, the skunk smell got strong. "Oh man, I fuckin' STINK!" Wolf put his hand on his nose again, which barely helped at this point. It was, without a doubt, the worst thing he had ever smelled. And he reeked of it.
Wolf flipped the switches to start up the Wolfen. After starting the engine, he turned on the VTOL and raised up into the air before shooting up out of the Macbeth atmosphere. Thankfully, the StarWolf base was located on the outskirts of Sector Z, not too far away from Macbeth, which was good for Wolf as he could not stand sitting in his cockpit for long. Wolf flew through the sector, before reaching his base, which was hidden among an asteroid field. Upon approaching the base he opened up the hangar doors and landed his Wolfen inside.
Panther and Leon were sitting on one of the couches in the rec room flipping through the channels on the tv. Suddenly a sound came from their communicators, indicating that someone had entered the base.
"See he's home." Panther said to Leon.
"Yeah but where was he?"
"Let's go find out." Panther and Leon got up off the couch and exited the rec room. They took the hallways to the leading from the rec room to the hangar bay. As they approached the last corner they started to smell something bad. Panther sniffed the air. "What is that smell?" As they turned the corner they encountered Wolf and were blasted by a wave of stink. Both of them burst into coughing fits and fanned the air in front of them. "Eugh what the fuck Wolf?"
Leon looked worried. "Wolf...why are...why are you so...stinky?" the chameleon asked while trying to make it seem like the smell wasn't bothering him.
Wolf stood in the center of the hallway with a sour expression on his face. "I got skunked." Leon and Panther stood there confused, and held their noses. "This fucking skunk sprayed me." Wolf stated. Panther started to chuckle and Leon elbowed him in the ribs. "Yeah I know, I smell like shit."
"How did this happen?" Leon asked, still baffled by this whole situation.
"I was at the bar on Rexia. Drunk as shit. This asshole skunk comes and sits next to me. He annoyed the shit out of me and I started fighting him. Last thing I remember was him pulling his pants down." Panther burst out into laughter and Leon hit him again. "Shut up Panther, before I go lay down in your bed."
Leon spoke up. "Sir you can sleep in mine, if you don't wanna stink up yours."
Wolf laughed and shook his head. "Leon have some self respect, damn."
"Sorry sir. But wait, don't all skunks get their scent glands removed at birth?" Leon questioned.
"Guess this fucking guy didn't." Wolf responded.
"I would say that most of it would be on your clothes, but you made the mistake of wearing that tank top." Panther said, starting to take the situation more seriously.
"Yes, yes I did." Wolf stated, bluntly. The smelly wolf took a step towards his teammates, and in turn they took a few steps back. "I'll try not to get too close to you guys."
"That would be preferable." Leon said. "Let's get you to the showers, shall we?"
"I'm not sure if a shower is gonna get rid of that. What was it that got rid of skunk smell?" Panther asked while trying to remember what it was.
"I honestly forgot, it's not like this is a common thing anymore. I'll look it up." Leon said. Wolf began walking forward some more, and Leon and Panther walked backwards some more.
"Right well outta the way, I'm gonna go shower." Panther and Leon stepped to the side. As Wolf passed them, they began gagging from the smell. They followed Wolf to the communal showers, making sure to stay a good few feet away from him. As they walked, Leon pulled up his phone and began looking up the solution to getting rid of skunk smell.
"It says here that tomato juice can get rid of the smell." Leon said while reading from his phone.
"Okay, Panther, Leon, go see if we have any. I'm gonna get in the shower." Leon and Panther walked away in the direction of the kitchen to look for tomato juice, while Wolf entered the showers. The shower room was a large bathroom consisting of multiple showers stalls. Wolf walked past multiple stalls before stopping at the one he prefers, the second one from the left. Wolf began taking his stinking clothes off and draped them over the side of one of the stalls. He walked over to the back of the room where the towels were stored, grabbed one and returned to his stall to hang the towel on the hook. Wolf opened the door, turned on the shower and walked back out as he waited for the water to warm up. As he waited he sniffed himself and retched. "Why do I keep doing that?" Wolf asked himself. After a few seconds he reached his hand and felt the water, finding it to be a satisfactory temperature. He walked into the stall and shut the door behind him. Grabbing a bar of soap he got to work on scrubbing his fur. He made sure to cover every square inch of his body.
Panther took a huge breath upon entering the kitchen. "Ah fresh air!" He exclaimed and took another breath. Leon sighed and got to work opening the many cabinets to search for cans of anything involving tomatoes. Their supply levels were low, as it had been a while since they made a run to buy or steal more. Being outlaws always made it harder to acquire such supplies, they cant simply go to a grocery store and get whatever they want. There seemed to be nothing in the first cabinet. Leon looked behind him to see Panther looking at his phone.
"You mind helping?" Leon asked with annoyance.
"Yeah sure." Panther responded. Panther set his phone down on the counter and moved over to one of the cabinets. Leon shut the one he had already searched and moved on to another one. Leon and Panther dug through the cabinets, examining the labels on all the cans, finding nothing with tomatoes. "Yeah I'm not finding anything." Panther stated and closed his cabinet.
"Me neither. Well shit." Leon said.
"You gonna break the bad news to him?" Panther asked. Leon shook his head and walked to the door and left. Panther didn't bother to follow him.
Wolf continued to scrub his fur with soap and lather himself in shampoo. He heard the door open and could tell by the footsteps that it was Leon. The chameleon hesitantly approached the stall that Wolf was showering in. He made sure to plug his nose while passing by Wolf's clothes that were sitting on one of the stall doors. He reached Wolf's stall and leaned against it.
"W-Wolf." Leon timidly spoke.
"Yeah?" wolf asked.
"We um... we don't have any tomato juice."
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" Wolf yelled, followed by a punch to one of the stall walls. Leon tried to say something, but he didn't know what to say. Wolf let out an exaggerated breath and turned the shower off. He reached over the door and grabbed the towel that was hanging on the wall. Wolf wrapped the lower half of his naked body with the towel and unlocked the door. He stepped out to see Leon's meek face. Wolf looked rightfully pissed. "Can you tell me if the shower did anything? I lost my sense of smell." he asked. Leon took his hand off his nose and sniffed Wolf. Leon's nostrils were bombarded with the smell, which caused the chameleon to run to a nearby sink and throw up in it. Wolf's expression changed after seeing him throw up. Wolf smiled and chuckled. "I'll take that as a 'you still stink.'"
Leon rinsed his mouth out with the sink's water. "Well now what are we gonna do?" he asked after spitting some water out.
"Well I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed." Wolf replied.
"You gonna sleep in your bed?"
"No I'm gonna sleep on one of the couches. We should probably limit the amount of rooms I go in. No need for me to stink up the whole place."
"That would probably be best sir. Do you want me to get you some clothes from your room?" Leon offered.
"Just a pair of underwear." Wolf answered.
"Nothing else?" Leon looked confused.
"Yeah I don't wanna get this smell on anymore of my clothes."
"Very well, I'll go grab a pair." Leon left the bathroom and Wolf continued to dry off. Leon returned a few moments later with a pair of Wolf's underwear in his hand. He handed it to Wolf, and Wolf promptly dropped his towel to put the underwear on. Leon couldn't help but stare. After putting on the underwear, they both were about to leave the showers. Panther barged through the door holding his phone.
"You guys lo- oh eugh, am I interrupting something?" Panther said, horrified at what he saw.
"Shut up!" Wolf barked.
"Okay anyways, I was scrolling on one of my socials and I came across this." Panther held his phone out so Wolf and Leon could see. It was playing a recording taken from someone at The Alley Cat. It was a video of Wolf getting sprayed. Wolf looked furious.
"You're fucking kidding." He growled. "Where are you seeing this?"
"It's everywhere boss."
"How many views?"
"Tens of thousands."
"I'm gonna fucking shoot myself!"
"You should read some of these comments, they're hilarious."
"Not helping!" The video was getting closer to the point where Wolf got sprayed. They all watched as the skunk lowered his pants and Wolf charged at him. Everyone cringed upon seeing him get sprayed.
"OHH THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING." Panther yelled out.
Wolf grabbed the phone from Panther's hand and turned the video off and gave it back to him.
"I'm gonna kill the guy that did this to you." Leon spoke with malice.
"Not tonight. Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted." Wolf said. The three made their way out of the showers and Panther went one way while Wolf and Leon went the other. The wolf and chameleon walked to the rec room where Wolf laid down on one of the couches. Leon got on top of the backrest of the couch and laid down along it. "You know I'm not forcing you to be with me? If I'm stinky you don't have to be near me." Wolf said to his teammate.
"You're not, being here is my choice."
"Your loss." Wolf stared up at the ceiling. "Why?"
"Because I like being with you, plus you're kinda cute when you're embarrassed."
"Don't get used to it."
"I'll try not to."
Wolf adjusted his position on the couch. It was kind of cold since he was only in his underwear. They had blankets, but he didn't want to get his smell on them. Wolf moved his body so he could see Leon.
"Leon?"
"Yeah?"
"This sucks."
"Hey it could be worse, if Pigma and Andrew were still around, they'd be laughing their asses off."
Wolf let out a small laugh. "That's true, but Panther sure seems to think this is funny."
"In his defense, if it happened to him, you'd be laughing."
"I don't know, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemies. Except Pigma... and maybe that prick Fox. "
Leon smiled. "So your worst enemies?"
"Yeah I guess." Wolf went back to laying on his back. "I think I'm gonna try and get some sleep. Could you turn off the lights on your way out?" Leon slid off the couch and headed to the light switch next to the door. "Goodnight Leon." Wolf said in a calming voice.
Leon turned the lights out. "Goodnight Stinky." he taunted as he left the room. Wolf shook his head and sighed. He closed his eye and tried to sleep, but something was keeping him up. He wasn't sure if it was the smell or the humiliation of it all. Wolf opened his eye, grabbed his phone that was beside him and searched up the video of him getting sprayed. He spent the next few minutes reading the comments, his blood boiling with each one. After a solid amount of reading, enough to make him furious, he fell asleep.
Wolf's eye slowly opened and then closed again. He sniffed twice and the smell woke him up instantly. He recoiled in disgust at his ability to smell again. The stench did not get better over time. Wolf sat up and rubbed his eye. Suddenly Leon and Panther entered the room, both being caught off guard by the wolf's smell.
"Oh man, I forgot how stinky you are." Panther said with disgust while holding his nose.
"Yeah yeah, fuck you too." Wolf mumbled.
"So um... Wolf, you want one of us to go get some tomato juice? Leon asked.
"Yeah, Panther...you think you could do that for me?"
"Sure thing Boss. I'll be back in a bit. Oh by the way, that video of you getting farted on by that skunk blew up even more. The video is getting reposted everywhere. Even the official StarFox page reposted it with the caption 'Another case of Wolf O'Donnell failing to know his enemies.'" Panther said as he left the room.
"Of fucking course!" Wolf groaned. Leon and Wolf were left alone in the rec room. The lizard walked over to the couch and sat on top of the backrest like he did the previous night.
"How you doing?" Leon asked with a tinge of worry in his voice.
"I mean... I still stink...and I'm hungover, but I guess I could be doing worse." Leon was about to put his hand on Wolf's shoulder but retracted it before it made contact.
"I'll be right back, gonna go grab something." The chameleon said as he got off the couch. He returned a few moments later carrying a piece of paper. "I drew you last night, before I went to sleep."
"Really now? Lemme see." Leon showed the paper to Wolf and it was a drawing of Wolf in his underwear with stink lines coming off of him. Wolf gave Leon a disapproving glare. "Seriously?"
"What it's cute?" Leon said to defend his drawing. It was not uncommon for the chameleon to draw, Wolf being his favorite thing to draw.
"Yeah yeah, just don't frame it okay?" Wolf said. Leon set the drawing down on a nearby table and sat on the couch next to Wolf. "You fine sittin' next to me? Does the smell not bother you?" Wolf asked with confusion.
"My sense of smell has never been the greatest. That being said, it does, I just don't show it." Leon answered. Wolf looked at him and smiled. The chameleon grabbed the tv remote and pressed the power button. As the tv turned on, an ad for one of the late night talk shows was playing. At first, Wolf and Leon payed no mind to it, but something caught their attention. The commercial played a small section of the video of Wolf getting sprayed. Immediately after the clip, the narrator announced that tonight's guest was Henry Stankovic, the skunk that sprayed Wolf O'Donnell. Wolf and Leon stared with awe at what they were seeing, their mouths agape.
"What. The. Fuck!" Wolf spoke with pauses between each word. Leon looked over at Wolf, unable to say anything. "I'm gonna shoot the fucking tv!" Wolf grabbed the remote and turned it off. "It's over Leon."
"What?"
"Our reputation in Lylat is over. I'm a fucking laughing stock." Leon didn't know how to respond. "How the fuck are we gonna find work now? You think our contractors are gonna want to give some to the guy who got sprayed by a goddamned skunk?"
"Wolf... our past actions speak loudly. We're some of the best in Lylat." Leon said trying to calm his boss down.
"I guess you're right. Let's just see how this plays out."
"We gonna watch that talk show tonight?"
"Might as well." A few hours went by and Wolf and Leon began to grow impatient for Panther to return from with some tomato juice. Leon pulled out his phone and called him. While it was ringing, Leon put it on speaker phone so they could both hear Panther. Panther answered the call. "Panther? Where the hell are you? You got the stuff?" Wolf asked.
"Yeah Boss, but I had a hard time finding this shit. Ended up having to steal them from some elderly woman's cart." Panther responded.
"You on your way home then?" Leon chimed in.
"Yeah I'll be home in a few."
"Thanks Panther." said Wolf.
"Yeah no problem." Panther ended the call and Leon put his phone back into his pocket. They waited about fifteen minutes for Panther to return. When he did, he brought two cans of diced tomatoes with juice and set them on the table near Wolf. The stinky wolf got up off the couch and walked over to the table and grabbed the cans.
"Only two?"
"That's all I could get."
"Let's hope it's enough. Anyways, we'll be back. Leon's gonna rub this stuff all over my body." The chameleon's eyes widened when he said that.
Panther made a disgusted face. "Oh um...have fun with that."
"Come along Leon." The chameleon got off the couch and followed Wolf to the showers. They arrived and Leon used one of his special utility knives to open one of the cans. Wolf stood over one of the drains and Leon got to work on de-skunking him. First, Leon poured a little of the juice on top of Wolf's head. It trickled down the sides of his head making it's way to his shoulders and down his back. Next, Leon dipped his hand in the can and pulled it out. He wiped his hand along Wolf's neck and chest. He stressed the importance of getting this area as it was where most of the skunk spray got into Wolf's fur. "Wish we had enough so I could bathe in it." Wolf spoke as Leon put his hand into the can again. He pulled out some more juice and got to work on rubbing it on the stomach. By this point, Wolf's fur was stained red. Leon wanted to only use one can on Wolf himself, saving the other can for Wolf's clothes, Wolfen, and the couch he slept on. But after seeing how much was left in the first can, Leon was going to have to be more conservative with the juice than he would prefer. Leon motioned for Wolf to turn around. He put a little on his hands and rubbed it along Wolf's back. Since his back was most likely not hit with any of the fluids, it was not necessary for too much to be used. That being said, it was better to be safe than sorry. Leon walked around to Wolf's front and set the can on the ground. He put both of his hands into and put them on Wolf's cheeks. Wolf winced at the feeling of cold hands on his face. The tomato juice was rubbed down Wolf's muzzle and on his nose. Leon took his hands off and the chameleon looked down.
"You want me to...?" Leon said as he gestured to Wolf's genital region. Wolf looked as if he was tempted, but shook his head anyways.
"I can take care of that." Wolf said. Leon set the opened can onto the ground and grabbed the unopened can and used his knife to open it. The chameleon walked over to Wolf's tank top and sweatpants that were hanging on one of the stalls. He poured some of the juice onto the clothes. He looked over at Wolf and smiled before exiting the bathroom. Leon made his way to the rec room and poured some of the contents of the can onto the couch. Finally, he made his way to the hanger and climbed up onto the wing of Wolf's Wolfen. as he opened up the cockpit latch, Leon held his breath. The interior of the Wolfen stunk heavily, which was obvious since a cooped up skunk-smelling Wolf sat in it. Leon poured the remainder of the can onto the seat and turned on the indoor fan. He left the cockpit latch open, and hopped off of the Wolfen.
Wolf finished cleaning himself with the tomato juice and returned to the rec room. As he sat on the couch, he felt something wet on his butt. The wolf looked down and realized Leon must have covered the couch with tomato juice. Wolf sprang up off the couch just as Leon and Panther both entered the room.
"Red always did suit you, Wolf." Panther mocked referring to Wolf's red-tinted fur.
"Fuck yeah it does." Wolf replied, with a sense of relief in his voice. "How long does it take for the smell to go away?" he asked looking at Leon.
"It probably shouldn't take too long." the lizard answered.
"Now are we gonna watch that talk show tonight?" Panther asked, crossing his fingers that Wolf would say yes.
"You know about that?"
"Of course I do."
"Whatever, yeah sure, we can watch it." Panther pumped his fist after hearing Wolf say that.
"Fuck yeah, I'm gonna get some snacks. Make some popcorn." Panther said like a toddler.
"Way to kill my good mood." Wolf growled.
"Hey it's what I'm good at."
A few hours had passed and it was just about time for late night talk show to begin. The three were set up on the couch, which was now dry. Wolf and Panther sat on the ends, with Leon in the middle. Like Panther said, he had some snacks and soda ready for this occasion. Leon held a bowl of popcorn in his lap, allowing the others to grab some. Each of the three had different expressions. Wolf was pissed, Leon was nervous, and Panther was excited. Wolf took a sip of his soda as the commercial break ended and the show began.
The crowd in the background cheered as the host of the talk show, Tim Mane, appeared from behind a curtain. The lion waved to the crowd and took his usual space on the chair next to the right. He waited for the crowd to quiet down before speaking.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen and all you viewers at home." Tim said and the cheering from the crowd erupted again. He waited for them to settle down again. "I'm sure many of you have seen that video going around of what happened to Mr. Wolf O'Donnell of the StarWolf mercenary group at a bar on Macbeth." After he said that, the tv screen that was situated between the couch and chair started playing the video of Wolf getting sprayed by a skunk. The crowd made a disgusted sound when the spray occurred. After the video played the host spoke up again. "Well tonight, we get to learn more about it from the guy who made it happen. Everyone please welcome our guest: Henry Stankovic." The fat skunk appeared into view with a large gin on his face and the crowd began cheering. Henry walked over to the couch and sat on it. "So Mr. Stankovic, how are you tonight?"
"I'm doing great Tim." Henry answered. "Thanks for having me."
"So, Henry, anything you want to tell us about what happened last night? How did this end up happening?"
"Well I went to this bar in Rexia, and I took a seat next to Wolf O'Donnell. First thing I see him do is spill some of his beer on himself."
"Sounds like he had a little too much to drink, yes?"
"Oh absolutely Tim, he was well, 'drunk as a skunk.'" The crowd laughed upon hearing Henry's joke. "He was super drunk. Anyways I told him to slow down. I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, it was just friendly banter."
"Friendly banter? With one of Lylat's most feared criminals?"
"Yeah well, I like to think I'm a friendly guy. I can talk with just about anyone."
"So what happened next? I take it he didn't appreciate you saying this to him."
"Yeah he was pissed. I tried to apologize but all he did was call me fat. But well we kept exchanging words, and eventually I pissed him off big time."
"What did you say?"
"I mentioned how he had been beaten by StarFox, which made him furious. He tackled me out of the seat."
"So the two of you got into a fight. Might I say, you did very defending yourself."
"Thanks Tim, but honestly it was the fact that he was so drunk that made it easy to fight him. He had no coordination."
"So what made you decide that you wanted to... you know... use your ability on him?"
"I think he called me fat and stupid too many times. So I let it rip.
"Now, your kind are supposed to have their scent glands removed at birth, am I correct?"
"Yes, see I was not born in a hospital like most people. I was born at home."
"Have you sprayed anyone before?"
"No, not that I can recall. My momma always told me not to use it, and I don't want to make her mad. I guess it was just something about it being Wolf O'Donnell that made me want to do it."
"That's interesting. So, what you did is technically a crime, but since there's no one to actually bring this to court, you got off."
"Yeah. I made amends with Jim, the bar's owner. At first he didn't appreciate me clearing the place out. Which by the way, I want to apologize to everyone else who was there last night. I'm sorry for making you have to smell that. But anyways after it happened I helped Jim get rid of the smell and paid for a bunch of the stuff. Plus with all the media attention, I'm sure his business will be booming. Everyone is gonna want to go there now."
"That's nice, I guess everything ended well for you and the owner. Things surely didn't end well for Wolf O'Donnell."
"No it did not."
"Now, are you at all worried that he and his team might come after you."
"I'll be honest, yes I am. I know they aren't ones to mess with, heck they've killed people for less. I'm probably high up on the list of people they want to kill. So I'm gonna stay here on Corneria for a few weeks. I'm pretty sure I'll be safe from them here."
"That's good, last thing we'd want is for them to want to come after you. I'm sure that you'll be safe on Corneria."
"I hope so, Tim."
The show was coming to an end. "Now, it was great having you on the show tonight Henry. Before we're done, in the off chance that Wolf and his team are watching this, is there anything you want to say to them."
"Yeah." Henry looked directly at the camera. "How you smellin' buddy? I've got a lot more where that came from if you want some more." Henry laughed and lifted up one of his buttcheeks and pointed at it.
"GAAHH WHAT AN ASSHOLE!" Wolf yelled and threw his empty can of soda at the tv. His teammates looked at their furious boss. Leon grabbed the tv remote, turned it off and gave a heavy exhale.
Panther spoke up. "Well boss, at least you wont stink for too long, now that we applied all that tomato juice."
"Yeah Wolf, this wont be a problem anymore." Leon said and smiled in an effort to calm Wolf down. Wolf looked at his teammates and took a deep breath
Wolf spoke softly. "You know, to be honest, he seems like a nice guy. I was drunk and I probably deserved it." Wolf relaxed his shoulders and sat back.
"If you say so, boss." Panther said.
"I still want to kill him." Leon spoke with raw hatred for the skunk.
"Eh it doesn't matter." Wolf replied. "Not like we'll be able to get him." Wolf got up from the couch and grabbed the soda can that was on the floor. "Honestly, I forgot why I was drunk in the first place." Panther was about to remind him but bit his tongue. "Well anyways. Tomorrow is a new day... a much better smelling day. Wolf said with a smile as he gestured Leon and Panther to get up from the couch. "Goodnight guys."
Panther grabbed the bowl of popcorn from Leon's lap and got off the couch. "'Night boss."
Leon stayed on the couch for a bit while Panther left the room. Wolf sat back down and Leon stared into his eye. Without a word, Leon hopped off the couch and walked around behind it. Leon leaned in and kissed the back of Wolf's head, tasting the dried tomato juice. As he did, he smelled Wolf's skunk scent, but pretended like he didn't "Goodnight Wolf." Leon headed to the door and got ready to turn off the light.
"Goodnight Leon." Wolf said as the chameleon flicked the light switch and the room went dark. Leon walked down the halls and into his bedroom. The chameleon was already wearing his pajamas so he got directly into his bed and under the covers. He was concerned as to why Wolf didn't really smell better, so he pulled out his phone. Leon searched up how to get rid of skunk smell again and realized that he made a big fucking mistake. Fear shot from his eyes and he didn't know what to do.
Wolf was slapped awake by the smell of skunk. He sniffed himself. "What. the. fuck. Leon!" Wolf growled. "This shit didn't do anything." Wolf sat up and plugged his nose before the smell made him hurl up last night's popcorn. He was going to wait until Leon entered to demand an explanation, but the chameleon never showed up. Instead, Panther came into the room and gasped at the smell.
"Boss? Why the fuck do you still stink?" Panther asked.
"That's what I'm gonna ask Leon. Where the fuck is he? He's not the kind to sleep in."
"I'll go get him." Panther said and turned around to leave the room. The feline made his way to Leon's room and knocked on the door. "Leon, you awake?" There was no response but he could tell he was in there. "Leon? Can I come in?"
A faint voice spoke from the other side of the door. "Yes." panther opened the door and entered to find Leon looking as if he was amidst a panic attack.
"Hey, hey, hey. You okay?" Panther asked.
"I fucked up." Leon spoke softly. "Panther, I fucked up bad"
"How so?" Leon showed his phone to Panther and he began reading. "It was just a myth? Then why the fuck was it such a common thing? Didn't old kids' media always depict having to take a bath in it?"
"This kinda thing hasn't happened in like decades, Panther! All tomato juice does is temporarily mask the smell, it doesn't do anything to actually get rid of it."
"Where did you get that info from that said it did?"
"I didn't see the part where it said it was a myth. Oh man, I should've read more."
"Wolf is not gonna like this. Do you want me to go tell him?"
"No, I'm an adult. I need to admit my mistake."
"If you say so. Does that site say what the actual solution is?"
"Panther, I think we ran out of time. If you don't get rid of that stuff quickly, it doesn't really come out."
"Oh fuck. You're in deep shit, buddy."
Leon took a deep breath and got off of his bed. "Okay... I'm gonna go tell him." Leon walked out of his room and Panther followed. They slowly made their way to the rec room, dreading what was going to happen when they did. Panther tried his best to comfort the chameleon, but his efforts were fruitless. They reached the door to the room and Leon gulped before walking in. As soon as they entered, Leon was hit with a furious glare from his boss. "B-boss?...I have some bad news." Leon spoke timidly.
Wolf crossed his arms. "Well... spit it out!"
"So well um... the tomato juice thing was just a myth. It actually doesn't really help. And apparently you need to act fast, which we did not. The time it took for you to get home was enough for the oils to stick to your fur. I'm afraid there's not really anything we can do that will completely get rid of the smell at this point."
"Fucking great! Just fucking great! YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB LEON." Wolf snapped.
"Boss... I'm so sorry."
Wolf turned away from him. Never in the time he knew Leon did he fuck up this badly. Leon has always been methodical and never makes mistakes. Wolf was pissed at first, but after a few seconds he realized that he shouldn't blame him. First of all, this situation was unexpected and difficult for them to deal with. Second of all, it was was his own fault for getting sprayed by a skunk. He should never have left his teammates the way he did. And he should not have turned to alcohol as a way to cope. Wolf thought long and hard about Leon. The chameleon had always been there for him, and he always enjoyed his company. Wolf remembered last night when Leon had kissed his head, and the night prior when he called him Stinky to make him smile. The lizard loved him. And he loved him back.
"Boss, what should we do?" Panther spoke up trying to ease the tension.
"Leon? How long does this smell usually last?" Wolf asked.
"It can last a few weeks, even months." Leon stated hoping that Wolf wouldn't yell again. Instead, he exhaled from his nose as if he were amused. Wolf turned his head around and looked at his two teammates.
"Well...guess you guys are gonna have to live and suffer with your stinky ass boss." Leon and Panther were confused at his change in attitude. "In the meantime, we're gonna have to find some work."
"That's...fair." Leon spoke.
"Hey Panther...can you give me and Leon some time alone?"
"Uh, yeah sure." Panther exited the room. Wolf motioned for Leon to come sit next to him. The chameleon slowly crept up to the couch and took a seat. He looked scared out of his mind, which was unusual for the fearless person he typically was. Wolf looked at him and smiled, which did not make the lizard feel any better.
"Is there anything you want to say to me?" Wolf asked.
"Wolf... I'm so sor-"
"No, not that. Something you've been wanting to tell me before this whole thing happened? About us?"
"Us?" Leon didn't understand what he was implying.
Wolf smiled. "Do I have to spell it out for ya? I can tell you have feelings for me." Leon tried to respond to him, but nothing could escape his mouth. "I just wanted you to know that I share those same feelings."
"You do?"
"Of course." Leon leaned in, but as he did he got a whiff of Wolf and moved back.
"I'd kiss you, but I don't want to throw up in your mouth." Leon stated, jokingly. This caused Wolf to laugh. "Hopefully we can...explore these feelings when you smell better."
"Yeah in like a fucking month!"
Leon looked down. "Probably more than that." he said. Wolf sighed and shook his head.
"Leon? I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I shouldn't be taking this out on you or Panther. You were only trying to help, and it was my fault in the first place. I shouldn't have left you guys, and I shouldn't have gotten into a fight with a skunk. Honestly, this has been a real show of self, I need to improve. For one thing, I'm gonna avoid alcohol for a while. Second, I need to appreciate you guys more. You and Panther are family to me, and I need to show it. It's gonna take time, but I will improve."
Leon simply smiled. "I love you Wolf."
"I love you too."
On the other side of the door, Panther was listening to them. The feline smiled when he heard them say that they loved each other.
Two weeks later.
It was tough to live this way for the past two weeks. Wolf figured that his teammates suffered the most, having to live with someone who smells so bad. StarWolf had been labelled a joke, and they needed to correct that. They used to be the most feared and reviled in Lylat, and they worked to bring that back. Finding work was tough, as the contractors were less likely to give jobs to them after the incident. After completing the leftover jobs that they were willing to give them, they scrounged enough money to keep on living. But it was never enough for them. In their quest to make their name a feared one, StarFox got tipped off and were given the location of StarWolf's next contract. The three Wolfen's sat in the vast expanse of space, waiting for what was to come. Wolf's cockpit still reeked heavily of skunk musk, since it was such an enclosed space. He didn't really mind the smell, besides he still stunk of it. Finally, four Arwings arrived at their location, but StarWolf was ready for them.
"Well if it isn't StarFox." Wolf spoke with a thirst for revenge.
"Well if it isn't the guy who got sprayed by a skunk." Fox jeered, causing his team to laugh. "How was it Wolf, smelling like that?" he asked.
"'Was?' I still do." Wolf replied.
"Wait seriously?" Fox asked as the rest of his team erupted into laughter. Wolf planned to use this to his team's advantage. Allowing their lack of seriousness to be their downfall. Wolf switched back to his team's channel.
"You ready to get these clowns, boys?"
"Yes, boss!" Leon and Panther said in unison. Wolf looked directly into Leon's eyes. The chameleon blushed, but then put on his serious face, rewarding himself a nod of approval from Wolf.
A/N: I really enjoyed writing this story, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. It was fun to turn a silly concept into something a bit serious. Any reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for reading.