Chapter 65: Stained Glass (Madison Beer)
My phone was buzzing in my hand, but I ignored it, Britt could wait. I fixed my hair in the mirror that hung next to the door and then I pulled the door open. I remembered at the last second that I was practically naked in just my t-shirt but then I just didn't care.
You show up at my door at this hour, don't expect me to get dressed up for you, fuck it.
Frankie stood there with a plastic smile on her face, but I didn't return the gesture, instead I pulled the door open further.
"Come in, Francis."
She looked surprised that I was letting her in. I watched her as she stepped in, looking around our home. In that moment, I was happy that I had cleaned every inch of the place. Having a clean home always made me feel a little invincible. She had some fucking nerve showing up here but I'm smart enough to know that this was optimal.
Britt wasn't here to get in the way and Mami/Quinn weren't here to talk me down. No matter what happened, I was in control of someone for once.
"Brittany isn't here." I said to her as I shut the door. She whipped around and looked at me skeptically. "She's out of town for the weekend on a last-minute trip."
"And you still let me in?"
"Of course, I did, this is MY apartment and you knocked on MY door at nearly midnight when you had to know I'd be home, so it was only proper to let you in. Would you like something to drink?"
She looked completely thrown off as I looked her over waiting for a response. She was okay looking, tanned skin...naturally red hair and hazel green eyes like Quinn. In some circles, she'd be considered a knockout with that dancer's body, so I could see why B was attracted to her, but I was hotter. On my worst day, I was an 11 she was merely a general 8 and you never leave your 80 for your 20.
Here she was, Brittany's 20.
"Tea?" She asked, and I nodded, beckoning her with my finger as I walked into the kitchen. Marco always told me never to turn your back on an enemy unless you wanted them to think you were off your guard and that's exactly what I wanted.
"Herbal, okay?" I asked her as I filled the tea kettle.
"That's great, thanks." She looked completely uncomfortable. My phone was still buzzing, Britt was probably losing her shit. I looked at the screen and saw that it was Quinn now, which meant Britt was bringing her into this which was probably a terrible move on her part.
"Yeah?" I said, fully expecting it to be my wife.
"San? Fuck...Britt wait-" Q shrieked and then Britt was in my ear. "Did you let her in?"
"Yes, Daddy." I purred in her ear. Frankie was staring at me, but I just turned away from her and reached up to pull out mugs for us both. I could feel the t-shirt raise across my bare ass and from the gasp from behind me, I knew she'd seen. "Is something wrong?" I asked, as I put the mugs on the table and then put tea bags in them.
"Santana, don't be vindictive...she's actually a nice girl."
"Calm down Britt Britt, Francis and I are just getting to know each other. I thought you'd be happy about that."
"Well I'm not."
"Tough shit, Britt. I'm going to hang up now."
"I told you I ended it and I was serious! Please believe me!"
"Mmmhmm. I love you too, baby. I'll call you in a bit."
"Santana!" She yelled, "Don't hang up on-" I ended the call and put my phone back down as the tea kettle began to whistle.
Finally, after putting the mugs on the table, I brought the hot kettle over with a bottle of honey. I sat across from Frankie just as Britt always did with me. Frankie seemed amused by all of it as she watched me with lust in her eyes...something that I was used to from most people who had seen my bare ass.
I poured the water for her and then myself, before running my fingertip over the rim of my cup slowly. Her eyes were on me and I just smiled at her. This was my domain, I was in control. There was nothing that Britt could do to stop me. I felt a calm wash over me as I sipped from my mug and just waited for the girl to speak but instead she was just sitting there, staring into her mug not speaking. I was tired, it had been a very long day and I wanted to get this over with so, fuck it...I spoke first.
"Why are you here Francis?"
"Did you do that on purpose? Showing me your ass?"
"I like how direct you are...and no, I sleep like this and you showed up at my door around my bedtime. I had no interest in getting dressed just for you, I'm sure you enjoyed the view." She blushed, and I grinned. "I'll take that as a yes. So again, I ask...why are you here? What is it you want?"
"Britt is jerking me around, one minute she's all in, ready to leave you and the next, she's quitting tour and preparing to marry you a hundred thousand times...I'm dizzy trying to keep up. I just couldn't deal any longer. I figured if I came here while you were home, she'd have no choice but to be honest with both of us."
"What makes you think that she's lying to me?"
"Isn't she?" She raised an eyebrow and I nearly pissed myself with laughter, but I held back, she was like a cheap knock off version of me.
"According to her, she told you it was over...did she not?"
"She did but her words and actions are complete opposites. She came to me today when I told her I was ending it, like she couldn't handle being dumped...suddenly she NEEDED to fuck me." I thought of New York and now she continued fucking me despite me ending things. At least she was consistent. "She kissed me first and insisted that I let her fuck me one last time."
I wanted to believe that she was lying but she was describing my wife down to the letter. She was telling me that B initiated this shit and now I was inclined to believe her. I maintained my composure...keep it cool Lopez...it's a marathon not a sprint.
"What do you really want out of this, Francis, she's finally gone why don't you just leave."
"Because I want Brittany if she is being real with me because I do actually love her."
"Why her? I'm sure you could go find someone else to fuck around with, you're marginally hot...why Brittany?"
"At first it was because she's a good fuck but now I think we might be something more if she wants us to be."
I smirked at her and then nodded, still trying to be calm. She was sprung, and I got it. I remembered being obsessed with Britt and I was starting to feel sorry for the girl.
"Here's how it's going to go." It killed me not insult her, more flies with honey...right? "I want you to go on that tour and forget about my wife or I will make it, so you never dance again."
See I'm calm...no?
"Is that a threat?"
"No puta that's a promise."
Why can't she just accept my politeness?
"She told me that she loves me."
"I doubt that."
"Ask her yourself. All I know is I like her maybe even love her and you just keep trapping her, she told me you're pregnant again." I felt rage. It had been like five hours since I told her, and she had already run to Frankie, maybe it's not this girl that needs the lesson, maybe it's Brittany. "My phone just went off...wonder who it is..." she pulled out her phone, looked at the screen and then smirked as she slid it over to me. "See if I'm lying, these are just from these last few days but there are tons more!"
Hey miss u-B-Lo
I love u and I'm sick about it-B-Lo
U r the only reason I want the tour n e more-B-Lo
We have 2 end this...I just wnt more time-B-Lo
She saw what u texted this has 2 stop-B-Lo
Yes I still luv u. We just can't do this. Go off on tour so I can 4get-B-Lo
Y r u in Lima...u have 2 go-B-Lo
Stay until this afternoon...1 more round;)-B-Lo
It really is over-B-Lo
U shouldn't have come here. My heart hurts-B-Lo
If u love me as much as I love u please let me go. Ana is my life, I love her more. Y is this so hard? I want u both...please leave? :(-B-Lo
I sat there scrolling through the messages and the pieces fell together, Britt's behavior on and off the medication, her expression on the bleachers when she saw that I read her text from Frankie, the way she broke down earlier.
A light went on in my head.
This had to be settled once and for all, I needed to have a low stress pregnancy, and this was a major point of stress.
"Can you excuse me for a minute?" I said to her, feeling the tears coming and she reached out for me, her hand touched me and I felt the spark. An energy exchange.
Our eyes met, and I gave her a small smile before getting up, leaving her sitting there while I shut myself in our bedroom.
Immediately, I was pacing as I waited for Britt to answer the phone.
"Baby?" She said sounding, pitiful.
"Where are you?" I asked, trying to be calm.
"At your sister's. Everyone is having drinks in the kitchen but I...I just wanted to talk to you so I'm in the bathroom. Is she still there?"
"You love her." I said, not asking and was met with silence. "We aren't together, Brittany, just tell me."
"I do but not like I love you. There's just something about her that draws me in, but I want you."
"You're single though, that's why I'm not mad right now."
"Wait, you're not mad?" She sounded hopeful and it pissed me off. I wiped my few tears away and settled something in myself.
"No, just like I don't expect you to be mad when I fuck her."
"What?" She choked, a whimper coming out.
"You heard me, we are both single and you went on earlier about us being even, but I don't think that's true. I haven't fucked anyone out of lust but you. Comfort sex, yes and as a negotiation, definitely but pure lust...nah...but now I get to see what that wow factor is."
"Please don't do this."
"I'm single, Brittany. I'll do what I want."
"Please, baby?"
"Bye, Britt Britt."
I stood in the doorway of my bedroom, taking a deep breath and then walked back to the kitchen...she was looking down at her phone and then her eyes met mine.
"What did you say to her?" She asked, looking concerned.
"That I wanted to fuck you to see what the hype was about." She looked amused.
"And if I don't want to?" There was that eyebrow again.
"But you do want to." I purred.
"I do." She stepped closer and I could smell the tea on her breath, she was crowding my space now, her lips nearly on mine. "But you're a bottom...and so am I..."
"Oh honey, I'm only a bottom for her." I said before pulling her against me and crashing my lips against hers.
She moaned against my lips and let me lead her, it was new for me to be in charge and while I didn't want it all the time, I could make an exception. She tasted like sweet tarts...like Britt.
I had my hand wrapped around hers as I pulled her towards the bedroom. As we walked, I yanked at her shirt, only breaking the kiss to liter the hallway with her clothes and then Britt's shirt.
When I pushed her down on the bed, she looked up at me with what I guess were seductive eyes, but she looked scared of me and maybe she should be.
I hadn't fucked any woman other than Britt in an eternity. Since Carmen.
"Having second thoughts?" I asked her, and she shrugged. "You worried about what Britt will say, should we call her?"
Her eyes went wide but I grabbed my phone and hit video chat...Britt answered on the first ring. Her whole face was red as our eyes met.
"Santana."
"Brittany."
"What are you doing?"
"Making us truly even...did you want to watch?"
"What?"
"If you were here, I'd include you Daddy but since you're not, I figured you'd want to watch."
"Where is she?"
I sat on the bed next to Frankie and wrapped my arm around her waist and then held up the phone for Britt as I put my head on her shoulder.
"Hey Britt." Frankie said.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"You keep playing us against each other, Brittany. Your wife is fucking hot and I can't pass that up."
"She's mine and you can't just have her."
"But you see, Brittany, I absolutely can."
"Are you mad because I told you that I'd choose Santana?"
"No, I'm mad that you said that and then you fucked me to sleep before you left without a word. So, this is my goodbye, I'll close the loop with the woman you won't stop talking about while you fuck me."
"She does that to you, too?" I muttered and then I began to kiss Frankie's neck and she lifted her chin to give me better access.
"Baby, don't do that." Britt whined, which was totally unattractive. She'd heard about me fucking other people but seeing it was something completely different.
I went to pull away, but Frankie took the phone, "Don't stop." She said and then she was talking to Britt again. "I'm turning video off now, Brittany but feel free to listen."
Then she tossed my phone onto my nightstand as she laid back. I was straddling her waist now and she was running her hands over my hips.
"Ready?" I asked her, and she nodded.
"Yes, love...fuck me."
I was running my hands up Frankie's chest and grinding against her as she continued to grip my ass and pull me closer. When I bent down to suck a nipple in my mouth, she hissed and moaned. I heard a whimper and knew that Britt had stayed on the line.
"You like that?" I growled, and Frankie moaned.
"Ayyyyy...dios! Ayyyy" she moaned out.
"Stop it...please?" I heard Britt whisper, but I ignored her, even though I could hear her crying now. It almost felt cruel but then I had to remind myself all the shit she'd put me through over this girl.
I reached down between us and could feel how ready she was for me. "That all for me?" I asked before sucking her earlobe between my teeth.
"Oh God, yes!" She said as I slid three of my fingers inside of her. "Shit. Shit. Shit, So good, love, fuck me!"
My fingers were deep as I picked my phone back up and turned the video on, Britt was bright red now without a single tear on her face. She was angry. I perched the phone on my lamp, so she'd have a clear view of the bed and then I resumed pumping my fingers until she came around my fingers.
I was rocking on her as I pinched her clit and she nearly lifted me off her when she came a second time.
"Britt's right, you do come easy." I said, and she winked at me.
Frankie was pinching my nipples which were already sensitive, so I laid on her and pressed my lips against hers. Suddenly we were battling for dominance. She wrapped her legs around me and flipped us, a signature Brittany move but I knew how to top from the bottom.
She was grinding down on me now but then I slapped my hands down on her thighs and she groaned. "Did I tell you to get on top?"
"No."
I leaned up, ignoring my healing ribs and gripped her hair until our lips crashed against each other's again. Then I was rolling us until I was laying on top of her again. I had stopped paying attention to the little whimpers from Brittany and was just keeping my eyes on the woman beneath me.
My fingers were back inside her again and she growled.
"More." She said, and I raised an eyebrow before shoving four fingers in and she lifted her hips, fucking herself against my hand.
"That feel good, baby." I said to her and I heard Britt suck in a breath. That hit a nerve.
"Yes, Papi." Frankie said, and I felt a shiver run through me.
I felt Frankie coming undone, walls clenching my fingers and I went harder, despite being exhausted, I persisted. I had to finish this, as much fun as this was it was crossing lines that I wasn't sure I could come back from.
I pulled her lip into my mouth again and bit down as hard as I could, and she screamed out as I pounded. She was still grinding on my fingers and was soaked
"Say that you're my bitch, Francis!" I whispered into her ear.
She remained silent, still trying to put up a fight so I slammed my fingers even deeper almost slipping my whole hand in as she gushed out her orgasm.
"I'm your bitch...fuck!" she screamed.
"Whose bitch?"
"Santana! I'm yours...only yours, yes Papiiiiii!" she screamed out.
"You like being my bitch?"
"Yes! God yes!" her voice was getting hoarse.
"You want to cum again?"
"Yes!"
"Are you finished with Brittany!"
"Britt...who?" she screamed out.
"Say it!"
"Oh god! No more B! You win! Game over! Ugh...right there shit I'm cumming again!"
"Don't forget whose bitch you are!"
"Oh ahh Ssss-Santana, I'm your fucking bitch...ugh...yes!" she came hard around my fingers, but I still wasn't done. I flicked her clit twice and she came again mumbling incoherently.
I pressed my fingers to her lips. "Suck." I watched with hooded eyes as Frankie ran her tongue over my fingers and palm. I pressed my lips to hers and then pulled away panting.
Exhaustion be damned I wasn't done. I was drunk off this power.
I looked down at her as she laid there spent, her eyes glazed over and then I smiled over at Britt.
She looked on in awe, there was lust in her eyes. I knew that she wanted me.
"Was that hot, Daddy?"
"Yes, baby." She growled.
"I wish you were here, I never came."
"And don't you dare come until I get there."
"You don't own me, Britt." I said, pressing my hand deep into Frankie again and she groaned. "Right now the only one who's getting owned is Francis."
"I just want you, baby. Just you. She's my 20."
"Tell her." I said and then I kissed Frankie. "Look at the phone, baby." I whispered, and she looked at Britt.
"It's done, I'll stop coming after you."
"Tell her who you belong to, Francis." I said, sucking her earlobe into my mouth.
"I'm hers now, Britt...fuck." She said as I flicked her clit. "I will only come back if she tells me too."
"Good girl." I said in her ear and she shivered as she looked in my eyes again, our lips met but I didn't stop looking at Britt. She was breathing heavy. "If you want me to wait for you, B...you have to wait for me...I own you too." I said, and she nodded.
"Okay, baby. Anything you want. I'm so sorry...I love you always and only you Ana! Forgive me?"
I stood up off Frankie and then offered my fingers again which she accepted without a word, I watched and so did Britt as she sucked my fingers into her mouth. It felt good to realize my power again. It had been a long time coming.
"I'm going to shower, Francis, say your goodbye to Britt, you two needs to either pick each other tonight or stop this shit. I don't want to have to do this again."
I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower before watching as Frankie talked to Britt. When she realized I was watching, she got this dreamy look in her eyes. The difference between me and Britt was that even if this girl came back wanting more, I would say no because despite everything that just happened, all I wanted was Brittany.
They ended the call and then Frankie was standing on shaking legs picking up her clothes. I followed her, and she had a smirk on her face.
"Thanks for going along with that." I said to her and she nodded as she pulled her clothes back on.
"You are as good a fuck as you are hot, I do wish you'd let me take care of you though." I shook my head as we made our way to the door because by all accounts, I was good because I was a professional but still...it fluffed my ego for sure.
"Nah, there's only one woman for me."
"Take care of her, Santana."
"What happened to Papi?" I asked as I pulled the door open.
"If you ever need me back in bed to prove a point to her, you'll be Papi again."
"Good to know."
Then she stood there in my doorway and let me watch as she deleted Britt's number, then erased the voicemails.
"It was obvious that she wants you more and I don't want to play second fiddle. It's a distraction."
"I'm glad you know your worth, Frankie. You deserve someone who puts you first."
"So do you, don't put up with this shit next time."
"Next time?"
"She has a wandering eye and I want so bad for you to get a happy ending but you'd have to tame her first. Just know that I'll never stand in the way again."
"I hope you're wrong about her."
She leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek, then she pulled back and looked into my eyes. "So do I and if I'm not wrong and you get tired of her bullshit, know that I would take her place and play house with you in a heartbeat."
As she walked away, swinging her hips, I smirked knowing that even if Britt's eyes wandered Frankie's way that nothing would come of it.
I had taken a big risk tonight but the look in Britt's eyes had changed when she watched a girl who had such power over her sexually be knocked down a few pegs by her pseudo wife. I was tired but content. Brittany was looking at me differently, I felt it in my soul.
When Frankie was gone, I locked the door and turned off the lights in the living room and kitchen before heading to my bedroom.
The shower was still going and since I was still naked, I didn't have to do anything more than step inside. Britt had wanted me to wait for her, but I was dripping, and I had needs. I rested my head back and fucked myself slowly as the steam from the shower soothed me.
My fingers were moving at warp speed as I thought of Britt punishing me for this very act, my hormones were pumping, and I felt exhausted from my day, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep if I went to bed horny. I washed my body slowly, thinking of my next move and wishing that it was Brittany who was holding me.
I didn't bother touching my phone since it was well after midnight and my body was practically begging me to rest. So I crawled into the bed and the smell of cheap perfume and sex met my nose, my stomach turned, and I was leaping from the bed. I didn't have the energy to change the sheets, so I went to the guest room and crawled into bed.
The sheets still smelled like my mother and whether it was muscle memory or my body giving in, I passed out almost immediately.
I was having an amazing dream, Britt was fucking me in a cabana on the beach and my body looked gorgeous. We looked sun kissed and happy.
Then she moved down my body, taking my bikini bottom off with her teeth and when I went to stop her she growled at me and then she was burying her face in my cunt, sucking my clit and thrusting her fingers inside me.
"Fuck." I groaned as I opened my eyes, it was still dark outside. The room was only illuminated by the streetlight and I was getting the best head in my life.
I moved my hands down between my legs and was met by a head. When I looked down sparkling blue eyes were looking up at me.
She pulled away and growled at me, "Mine." and then she went right back to work.
"Yes, Daddy...yours. Fuck me." I groaned.
That was all the permission she needed to add another finger as she kept up her rhythm. I had thought she'd show up in the morning, not being able to resist but from the looks of it, she'd come straight here.
I came, squirting and she cackled as she slid up my body, her fingers still working inside me. She pulled me against her rough clothes as she brought me to orgasm again.
"I needed to see you. You weren't in the bed, I thought you left with her but then I heard you snoring."
"I don't...fuck...I don't snore." I whimpered, and she smirked.
"Whatever you say, baby. If that's how I made you feel...nuh uh, keep those legs spread. Good girl." She said as I spread my legs open again, "I'm so sorry, I get it now. Your lips." She kissed me hard, nibbling my lips and then tracing the bites with her tongue, "Are mine."
I nodded and then her hand pulled away and smacked down, coming into contact with my clit and I squealed, keeping my legs open. "Again." I said when she looked at me tentatively.
She brought her soaked palm down again twice.
"All of you belongs to me and I don't want to share you ever again."
"Okay...I'm yours."
"And I'm yours, only yours."
"Promise." I said, tracing my fingers over her chin.
"I promise you, Santana. I'm yours, proudly so." Her words had me tearing up and then I was pulling her on top of me.
"Fuck me, B...make love to me like only you can."
"Say less, Lolli."
I laid there with my fingers lazily rubbing my clit as I waited for her to come back.
The experience of fucking in a different room made me feel like we were sneaking away somewhere. I was mid moan when a candle flickered in the darkness and then I saw her in that fedora from Britney Spears week, a tie on with one of my blazers with her favorite strap on adorning her hips.
"Go faster baby." She said and I moved my fingers faster, on the verge of falling off the edge and then she came closer. "Don't cum." She said and I let out a frustrated grunt.
"Why?" I grumbled.
"Why what?"
"Why Daddy." I groaned and she climbed on the bed and pulled me until my legs were nearly pressed above my head. She slid into me and I yelped. "Fuck!"
"I don't want...anyone...to come between...us again." She said as she stroked into me. "Understand?"
"Yes Daddy."
"It's you and me."
"Yes Daddy."
I was sweating and anxious, as I kept rubbing my clit but I had to make one thing plain.
"No more Frankie." I said to her and she didn't hesitate this time.
"No more Frankie."
"You're mine."
"Yes baby, I'm yours."
"Only mine?"
"Only yours, always."
"I'm so close." I groaned.
"Let go, Lolli...don't hold back anymore. Take what you need."
I rubbed harshly at my clit and met her thrusts, grunting and growling as I topped from the bottom.
Her eyes glittered in the darkness as she watched me fall apart.
We fucked until sunrise and then as I began to drift off, she kissed my face a hundred times to keep me from falling asleep.
"I need to head back, Quinn is stalling for me and my mom is close to having me committed for being so irrational lately. I need to go back."
"Okay, B."
"What are you going to do today?"
"I'm going to stay home and rest. If I'm up for it, I'll have Ian come pick me up, so I can see Isaac, since you took our car."
"You could drive my truck or your dad's car."
"No offense, B but that is a death trap and I refuse to drive it and I am way too emotional to get into Papi's car. It's cool, besides I need to tell Ian this baby isn't his, the sooner the better. He'd take it better without you hovering and-"
She kissed my lips to shut me up and I moaned when her damp fingers brought me to a quick orgasm. I looked up at her with dazed eyes as I tried to catch my breath.
"I'm sorry about all the stress I caused you...especially knowing how hard your last pregnancy was."
When she said that, it dawned on me that yes...I was pregnant.
I didn't really feel any different, just insatiable.
She was holding me against her, that strap on digging into my belly as she kissed me.
"B?"
"Yeah?"
"She was a good lay." I said and her eyes went wide.
"I know."
"Did you hear how she screamed for me?"
"Yeah, it was super hot."
"Yeah it was but that's it...we're done with her. I'm serious."
"I know. It was hot but it hurt too. I don't want to feel like that ever again."
"Me either."
"Does this mean we are together for real?"
"Ask me again when you get back from Chicago."
"I will."
The sun was barely in the sky when I walked Britt down to the SUV, she had a skip to her step and a silly grin on her face. I was sore in all the right places and feeling a bit peppy myself.
Britt turned on the navi and then winked at me before pulling out of the parking lot.
I watched her until she turned the corner and then turned to go back inside.
Only, I wasn't alone.
"I thought she'd never leave."
I'd seen my old BMW in the parking lot, the one that Marco had taken and never given back...no one had noticed it was gone but me and when I saw it as I kissed Britt's face and sent her away without a word...I knew what to expect and felt like I could handle it.
The last time he'd shown up here, I'd been stupid enough to let him into my apartment but now, I didn't budge. I stood there in the parking lot, leaning against Britt's old rust bucket of a truck and looked my ex husband in the eyes.
"How long have you been sitting out here?"
"Awhile, I got here around the same time that she did. I needed answers but she got to you first. So I waited."
"For hours?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"You left me hanging. I said I wouldn't interfere and I meant it but I'd at least like to know."
I put a hand to my stomach and bit my lip, my hips were sore and my body smelled like sex but none of that had to do with him for once. He was standing at a distance and had his hands in his pockets.
He looked docile but I knew his brand of manipulation and torture all too well...only this look was one that seemed sober.
"Yes." I had been vague on purpose to see if I could get him to bite but he just nodded.
"And it's mine?"
"Your DNA, yes."
"That's kind of amazing don't you think? We have had sex hundreds of times and the very last time, you get pregnant."
"Yeah, I thought the same thing."
"I'm keeping my word. Is there a plan though? Will she be raising it?"
"Not sure. I just want to do things differently this time. I want to say, that this will be my drug free pregnancy but I got high at the end of May before I knew so, the kid will be mostly drug free."
"About that..." He said rubbing at his forehead looking pained and then looking back at me again. "Getting you re-hooked on drugs during your pregnancy was one of the worst things I could have done. Your son is beautiful and he deserved a fighting shot. I regret that night and hurting you like I did. For you to still come to me after that, willingly give yourself to me whether it was for the divorce or not...you are the strongest person I know. I hurt you time and time again, Santana and for that, I'm truly sorry."
"Wow...um...thanks but I don't think I can forgive you for any of it...and are you admitting that you've seen Isaac?"
"Yes. I was still legally your husband when you gave birth. You were on my insurance still, so the bills went to my lawyer. I was legally permitted to see him. I knew you'd never let me on your own so, I went. Don't trip it was only once because I needed to see if he was mine. I don't plan on doing that this time...so I had to ask."
"You need to stay away from my family, Marco."
"I know and I will...I guess, some part of me always wanted your family to be my family. I know now though, that you love her more than she deserves. She hasn't been good to you but you still love her. Make her earn your love every day." He looked hesitant and then he kicked a pebble on the ground before looking back at me. "You should know that I'm going back to jail...it's not official yet. The trial hasn't started but I know a lost case and between the Mormon and Mr. Evans turning on me...it's pretty much a done deal. I'm headed back to Manhattan today and you probably won't see me for awhile."
"That's probably for the best."
He flinched. "I deserved that. Can I ask something of you?"
"No." I said and then his face dropped and he nodded. He was making it so hard to hate him and I hated myself for it. So maybe because I was carrying his spawn, I decided to relent. "What is it?" I sighed.
"Be selfish, Santana. You project an air of selfishness but you're not even a little. Now that you are pregnant again and working to be sober and independent. Be as selfish as you can be."
"I...I don't know how."
"You do. You've had a front row seat to some of the most selfish people on the planet. Learn from us. Put yourself first, you have earned that right and if you need anything at all, call Nico. He hates me but he loves you. He will protect you and your children with his life. There are still people in New York who see you as nothing but an overpriced hooker. So be smart, be wise and never forget that you come first."
I let out all the air I was holding in from gasping at this man who had ruined my last year.
"Why are you being this...I don't know...normal?"
"Rehab...if you throw yourself into it. It changes you."
"I hope so."
A cab pulled up into the parking lot and he waved to the driver. Then he took the keys out of his pocket and handed them to me. I looked at them and saw that there were four keys where there once two.
"What's all this?" I asked as I watched him grab his suitcase from behind Britt's truck.
"I revised our papers before I signed them...did you not read them before filing them?"
"No."
"What have I taught you about that?" He looked like he was ready to lecture but then realized he had no time for that. "St. Mary's house and the penthouse are yours to do with what you wish. I have a buyer for the West Lima house, once it's sold my lawyer has a directive to put the money in a trust for you."
"Why?"
"It's what I owe you. I stole a lot from you last summer and not just money, so consider it payback. I emptied the house and left your stuff in the car. I'll be in touch."
"Is that a threat or a promise?"
"When it comes to us...probably a little of both. Cuidate." He said before leaning in and kissing my forehead before turning his back on me.
My first thought was to inspect the car and see if he left me any of my stash.
But for the first time maybe all year, I ignored my base instinct that were merely compulsions of an addict and thought like Quinn. She'd never go to that car alone. She'd probably have the cops inspect it first. So I ignored everything in me that wanted to see if there was coke to have on a day when everyone wasn't hovering because something about all this gave me pause.
If Marco's intentions had really been to make amends, why wait for Britt to leave...so instead of checking the car out, I headed back inside not really ready to deal with whatever thing Marco may or may not have cooked up for me. Once I was behind my locked door, I felt tired and sore all over.
Britt couldn't be out of Ohio yet...or maybe she was just out of Ohio, either way I needed someone here with me and I didn't want that person to be Rachel Berry or Ian.
So trusting her to keep me sane, I called B.
"Do you miss me already?"
"I need to tell you something." I had no time for the pleasantries.
"Tell me."
"After you left, Marco showed up and-" She cut me off immediately.
"Is he still there? I'm going to turn around!" She yelled.
"He's gone, B...I just needed you to know that he was here but I didn't let him inside. We stayed in the parking lot. He told me some stuff and then he left me with my old car...I'm not sure what's in it so I called you first."
"And you're sure he's gone?"
"Yes."
"I'm on my way back."
"Britt, no. You don't have to."
"Pack a bag, Santana. I'll be there in thirty minutes. Don't let anyone in the apartment and don't leave until I get there."
"Please don't come back for me. I will be okay, I need to learn how to deal with stress on my own."
"What kind of person would I be if I just left you there alone with that car just sitting there tempting you?"
"Please, B. Let me handle this on my own. I just needed the accountability of you knowing what was going on."
"Promise me you're going to stay clean."
"I swear on everything, B."
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then?"
"If that's what you want, yes, I'll be here."
Once I convinced Britt to keep driving towards Chicago, I pushed off the door and made myself a small breakfast of toast and tea before putting the sheets in the washer. I opened all the windows before lighting candles and then changed into actual clothes. I was so fucking tired but I had something that I needed to do before I could rest.
As much as I wanted to go see my son, more than anything I needed to have this talk with Ian. It was still really early, just past 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning, the chance that Ian was awake was a toss up. He worked as a bus boy and dishwasher at Breadstix at night and I knew he'd worked the night before.
Yo baby daddy, you awake?-Santana
Yup, at your moms, promised her I'd mow the lawn. Squish is not up for visitors today its NICU cleaning day.-Ian
Oh guess that works, I still don't feel well enough to see him. Mind if I come over?-Santana
Yes! Come over!-Ian
No sex.-Santana
I didn't expect sex. Bring food. C u soon-Ian
When I made my way down to the parking lot, I was keeping my eyes peeled for Marco to pop out but he didn't. My eyes landed on my old car and my palms started itching. I had to be stronger than this.
"Hello?"
"Bendicion Pa, it's Santana."
"I know, I'm just surprised that you're calling me. Que Dios te bendiga."
"Amen. I need a favor."
"What's up?"
"Marco dropped off my old car and told me he left my old stuff in it and I'm afraid of what that could mean. Could you clear it for me? I'm heading over to Mami's house for awhile but I'm leaving the car unlocked in my apartment parking lot."
"Where are you now?" He asked as I was climbing into Papi's old red convertible. I put the top down and then just sat there inhaling the scent of my father. "Nanita?" Padrino said, breaking my reverie.
I cleared my throat of the tears that were about to come.
"Just got in Papi's old car. I'm going to head out in a second."
"I'm going to send Felo over with the k-9 unit."
"If there are drugs, this won't mean I get carted in, does it?"
"No. You called me and I am very proud of you right now. I'll take care of this. Go to your mom's and don't leave there until I clear you."
"Thanks, Pa."
I had to adjust the seat to accommodate my longer legs, since Mami had driven the car over. The car smelled like the spice of his aftershave and the worn leather was formed to him. By the time I pulled into the driveway at the house, I felt like I could break.
Leaving the car behind felt like a relief, it was haunted with the memories of my father and a little bit by Marco.
I rubbed my flat stomach and thought of how I was tied to Marco more than ever now. How would Papi feel about that?
When I pushed the door open, the stillness of the house sent shivers through me. This place was even more haunted than the car. I headed to Papi's study but the door was locked, which was odd. Even when he was alive, that door always remained open. Had Mami locked it on purpose?
I heard noise from the kitchen and kicked off my sandals before heading that way.
My mouth went dry when I saw Ian standing there in only shorts, as he gulped down ice water. He was covered in sweat and I had to bite my lip to keep from saying something crude. I didn't want him to choke. So, instead, I put the keys down on the counter top and looked up at him.
His beautiful blues met mine and I could see his joy.
Right in that second, he still thought I was carrying his baby and I took a moment to memorize that expression.
"What's up, S." He said and I felt taken aback. That was never something that he called me. Did he know? "Finally coming to your senses?" He said as he stepped into my personal space and that's when I smelled it. I looked up at his eyes and could see the glassy eyes.
"Are you fucking drunk at 8 a.m.?"
"No...yes...fuck. I got messed up last night and I'm just coming down, okay?"
"Maybe we can just talk later then." I went to head out of the kitchen but then he was cupping my face and kissing me with everything he had.
I gave into the kiss for a split second and then pulled my face back.
"What the hell, Ian?" He looked hurt by my rejection but I didn't stop. "It was a one time thing, this can't happen between us. I'm a lesbian."
"Says that two time teenage mom!"
"Okay, that was low."
"Tell me that's my baby." He said, "Honestly tell me that I'm the only guy you've slept with since you had Isaac."
"I can't." I muttered.
"Britt told me last night that it's not mine. That it's Marco's and I got drunk. I came here to do what your mom asked but I was just trying to sober up first."
Fucking Brittany. She'd probably done this to get back at me for fucking Frankie and that stung.
Two steps forward, five steps back.
"It was so he'd sign the divorce papers."
"Really? So you just whore yourself out to the highest bidder?"
"Pretty much, I spent last summer as an escort, Ian. It was literally my job to whore myself out to the highest bidder."
He was crying now as he looked me over.
"I loved you. Isaac is my life and this new baby...even if it's not mine...I love it because I love you. I want to be there for you both."
"You don't need to do that. I have Brittany."
"Fuck her! She's not good enough for you, Santana. You and I both know that this whole school year she's been yanking your chain and making you dance like her fucking puppet."
"And what, YOU can help me with that?"
"Haven't I been?"
"Ian, don't do this. We are in such a good place. I love how you love our son but you are crossing a line."
"Am I?" He stepped into the gap of space between us and rubbed his thumb over my cheek. "Tell me you don't want me, Santana."
"I don't want you." I said plainly. "Not like that."
He went to speak but then my phone rang.
"Don't answer that." He muttered but I stepped away from him and answered the phone anyway.
"Hey, Pa, what's the word?"
"You were right to call me. Half a brick of cocaine was in the trunk. The rest of it was all just random stuff, we got rid of the cocaine. The car is clean now. I'm so proud of you, Nanita."
"Thanks, Pa."
"You're welcome."
When I turned back to Ian, he was refilling his water glass and gripping the counter tightly. I could see the regret on his face, he'd been holding back probably since that day in the shower and now it was all spilling out. I knew he had heavy shit going on at home and I couldn't let this be how we broke apart.
"Let's forget this happened, I want you in my life and I know you want me in yours. I promised you a car and if you'll go home with me, I'm going to fulfill that promise."
"Go home with you?" He raised an eyebrow but I raised my hand.
"No, you're right. That's a bad idea. How about you come over tomorrow night, help me clean out my old BMW and then it's all yours."
"You're serious?"
"Yes, it fits a car seat and you might need it or maybe your mom does. I don't know, it's the least I can do. Britt may have been yanking my chain but I'm pretty sure I've been yanking yours. You deserve better than anything I could ever give you, other than Isaac."
As he sobered up, he seemed less rage filled. He pulled me into a hug and there was no bulge in his shorts. Just him hugging me like an old friend, like my best friend.
He took a step back and then crossed his arms over himself.
"Just so you know, I'm still going to consider that my kid. Knowing you, you're not going to want to involve Marco in the same way you did me. So DNA or not, that's my kid. Got it?"
"Ian...that's not necessary."
"Got it?"
"Fine."