At the precinct.
I have been working as a detective for the NYPD SVU unit for five years now, and I love my job. It feels amazing when I can help a victim get justice when their case comes across my desk, and I do everything to get those victims justice. I never stop fighting for the victim, and sometimes I may step out of lines to get the justice that these victims deserve; the reason I fight so hard to get justice for others is that I could not get justice for myself. Like many other people in the world and in her squad, Amanda had secrets of her own and demons she was running from. At times I find myself thinking about Georgia, and Atlanta, Georgia is the reason I ended up in New York.
It is almost time to clock out and call it a night; today has been a rather slow day at work. I don't mind the slow days because it means that no one is being hurt by the monsters of the world, but it also means more time for my mind to wander, and it always goes back to Atlanta.
"Hey Mandy, How are you today?" Jay asks.
"I am fine. I am just ready to go home." I lie about being fine; I am nowhere near fine, and I know Jay doesn't really care how I feel.
"Oh, by the way, Mandy Chief Patton would like a word with you in his office," Jay smirks as he heads for the door to leave for the night.
I feel my stomach drop the minute he says Patton's name, I know what's waiting for me, but I don't really have a choice. Even though I am a detective for the Atlanta Police Department's Special Victims Unit, I cannot protect myself, and now I have become the victim who is too afraid to say anything. I know that I cannot keep the Chief waiting forever; that will only make things worse. I guess it's time for me to go face the music.
"Rollins, Hello earth to Amanda Rollins!" says Olivia Benson, trying to Amanda's attention, who has clearly spaced out.
"Hmm... Yes, Captain. Is there something that you need?" Amanda asked her Captain.
"No, I was just saying that you can go home now; everyone else has already left. Hey Amanda be sure to get some sleep you look like crap." says Benson.
"Thanks Liv, just what a girl wants to hear." Amanda says jokingly to her captain, "But you are right, I could definitely use so sleep. I am completely exhausted. Night Cap." Amanda says as she leaves to head home.
"Night, Amanda," Liv says to Rollins as she watches her detective leave for the night.
Liv starts to worry about Amanda because she considers her to be a dear friend. Liv knows that there is something that haunts Amanda; she can see it in her eyes, and when she spaces out, it's like she is somewhere entirely different. In the five years that Rollins has been at SVU, she and Liv have become close. Liv just wishes that Amanda would talk to her.
"I really wish you would talk to me," Liv says aloud to herself as she walks back into her office to finish the last bit of paperwork before she heads home to see Noah. The thought of going home to see her son puts a big smile on her face, and she finishes the paperwork within fifteen minutes and heads home to see her son.
At Rollin's Home
Amanda finally arrives home exhausted; she takes her badge and gun off and puts her badge on the end table before she goes to lock her gun in the safe on her tv stand. She doesn't have the energy to make it to her bedroom to lay down in her bed, so she just walks over to the couch and just plops down. As she is lying on the couch, she looks up to the ceiling, thinking, "please let me sleep tonight." and before she knows it, she is sound asleep on the couch.
At Benson's apartment.
It is now 6pm, and Liv is ecstatic because this is one of the better nights because she was fortunate enough to get home in time to spend some quality time with Noah before dinner and bedtime.
"How was Noah tonight?" Liv asks Lucy, the woman who babysits Noah while she is working. Lucy was a Godsend; when Olivia adopted Noah, Lucy became his sister and was there for Liv if she ever needed a sitter at the last minute, which because of her job, she often did. Lucy would sometimes work long hours due to the Captain's job, but she never complained because she loved Noah and loved her job.
"Noah was very good, Olivia; he was an angel, he finished all of his homework, and he had grilled cheese and chips for lunch, then had yogurt for a snack. He was so excited to hear that you would be home early tonight." Lucy told Liv.
"Thanks again, Lucy. I don't know what I would do without you. You are a part of this family." Liv told Lucy.
"Liv, you don't have to thank me. I love Noah, and I adore taking care of him while you are working. I am always here if you ever need me." Lucy said to Olivia, giving her a hug before leaving.
"Noah, baby, I am home," Olivia calls out to her son.
The second Noah hears his mom call out to him, he comes running from his room into his mother's open and waiting arms. This feels like home to Noah and Benson, who had always wanted a child and then was blessed when she took in Noah and adopted him.
So Noah, what do you want to eat for dinner tonight. Noah looked at his mother with a big grin on his face, "Can we order pizza? Pleasssse." Noah begged his mom.
"Of course we can," Liv told her son, looking down at him and just smiling. "Noah, how about you go take a bath and put on your pjs while I order the pizza. Then we can have a movie night while we eat our dinner. How does that sound?" Liv asked Noah, already knowing the answer because he loved movie nights because he loved curling on the couch next to her while watching movies together.
"Really?" Noah asked with wide-eyes. To this, Liv nodded her head as if to say 'yes absolutely.' "That would be awesome," Noah said as he ran to take a shower and put his pjs on.
Liv just smiled, shaking her head thinking, "I don't know how I got so lucky. I have everything I have ever wanted, and this feels like home. Life couldn't get much better than this." Liv picked up her phone and ordered pizza for her and Noah.
It was not long before Noah had finished up and was in his pjs with his blanky in hand, making his way to the living room to sit on the couch next to Liv. "Mom, when is the pizza going to be here?" he asked, looking up at Liv. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door; Liv went to answer it and paid for the pizza closing the door; she walked to the kitchen and got two plates and some napkins for her and Noah. She then went back to the couch, handing Noah his plate and napkin , and opened the pizza box to put some on his plate. Noah and Olivia curled up together on the couch and watched Monsters INC.
Sometime during the movie, after they finished eating, Noah yawned, looking up at his mom said, "Mommy, I wish we could just stay like this forever." "Me too, baby. Me too." Liv said, looking down into her son's sleepy eyes. She knew he had fallen asleep right after saying that. So she slowly got up and picked up Noah carrying him to his room; she tucked her son into bed. Placing his blanky next to him, she placed a loving kiss on his forehead, saying, "Sweet dreams, baby, I love you." Then Liv went to clean up the living room before heading off to bed herself.
Meanwhile, at Rollin's home.
The minute she fell asleep, she was back in that memory, or as she liked to call it, her worst nightmare that she had been thinking about at work.
She walked into Chief Charles Patton's office and felt like she was going to be sick. There was no one around to help her; everyone had left for the day, she was completely alone with Chief Patton, and she wanted to just die because that was better than her inescapable living nightmare. She never told anyone what was going on because not only would no one believe her since Patton had many friends in powerful places, but he told her if she ever opened her mouth, he would kill her, and considering once he almost did just that, she knew he was serious. Amanda's new friend was alcohol, where she could bury her sorrow and just feel numb.
Patton made his way to where she was standing and then guided her, so she was standing in front of the couch in his office. "Hello, my sweet Georgia Peach," Patton said as he rubbed her arms, which were at her side, up and down. At this, Amanda immediately felt like she was going to be sick but didn't fight back because she lost that will a long time ago when it first started happening.
"You're going to be a good girl tonight now, aren't you, because you know what happens if you aren't," Patton said as he took his shirt off and began moving his hand under Amanda's shirt. Amanda was frozen in place as he undressed her and shoved her down on the couch before taking off his pants. "We are going to have fun tonight Georgia Peach," Patton says, looking at her with a smirk on his face and a dark look in his eyes.
This was when Amanda jolted awake, sitting straight up; she had beads of sweat on her forehead from the dream and could feel her heart racing. She found herself wrapping her arms around her knees, bringing them to her chest, and she just cried as she rocked back and forth. "I-it is no-not r-r-re-real." she kept repeating to herself over and over again.