Captured Memories

In between missions, recovering from injuries, or just at a loss to do with the downtime provided by 70 years of military back pay, Barnes got into the modern marvel of video games. He would play most anything that kept his mind and enhanced reflexes engaged, but he didn't got for the real-world violence of some popular titles. When Sam asked lightly if that kind of thing was triggering, Bucky just scrunched his face up "No, more like… they're just strange," and chuckled, shaking his head .

Sam thought he knew what he meant. They were games on a screen, a loud car backfire was more likely to put either of them in a sweat. Still, there was a funny feeling for him with a game like Call of Duty, somewhere in the vicinity of "been there, done that, weird to see it recreated for amusement." Bucky probably felt something similar. But he dispatched all manner of aliens and monsters and finished games quickly, so Sam felt like a cheerful bearer of good things bringing over his copy of Breath of the Wild, having finally played it enough that he was ready for a break.

"This game is sweet, man, and it takes a long time to finish, with a big-ass world, and it's fucking beautiful!" No ulterior motive, even if in the back of his mind Sam coldn't help being aware of the occasional thing he'd heard in media and from a few vets at his sessions: that the game had had a positive impact on some people suffering from depression. Bucky was completely functional, mind-bogglingly so (Sam personally divided the credit for that between the serum protecting against mental as well as physical injury, an ability to compartmentalize anything for the sake of function drilled in by both the military and the Winter Soldier programming, and the fact that some people just seemed to possess a preternatural ability to be ok despite anything, and Bucky Barnes was clearly one of those people) but it just plain made sense for the guy to be depressed. It was easy to laugh off his dour grumpiness, and he never seemed serious about it, but Sam had a feeling it was a pretty big difference from the man Steve had known in the 40s.

Wallowing in despair or not, he was certainly laid up. A bullet to the knee while being dangled— or rescued, depending on who you asked— in the air by the Falcon had put him out of comission for a week. Sam put the disc in and as the game started said cheerfully, "It's great, man, you'll dig it. You wake up 100 years after the big fight with the bad guy, have to run around rebuilding all your skills and weapons and fighting monsters, all so you can rescue the princess who's been trapped in the castle for the whole 100 years. It's light on story in a good way, and you figure out part of it by using these old photos your character has to get flashbacks while he rebuilds his memory from amnesia…."

He trailed off, suddenly feeling very foolish. Bucky was giving him a weird, slightly uncomfortable look. "…huh. I'm hearing how all that sounded and realizing this game, uh, " As he spoke, on the screen the unconscious Link was awakening from his 100-year stay in the restorative pool in the shrine. It didn't look exactly like a person being roused from cryo, but, well…

Bucky's eyes narrowed. "Is this some kinda …therapy thing?"

"No," Sam groaned, but he was starting to laugh. "I genuinely didn't realize until right this second that our guy here is basically you." He got a skeptical look in reply. "Man, just play the game. I brought it as nothing but entertainment for your bored, crippled, cyborg ass. You'll like it!"

Still projecting an air of great doubt and skepticism, Barnes began pressing buttons and running his Link around the chamber. Satisfied, Sam pulled out his phone and began going through emails. It was funny, how easy it had gotten to spend time around Bucky, even in his spartan apartment. Numerous near-death experiences had forcibly done away with their enmity, and it turned out that openly sharing all your irritation with and judgement of each other at the outset made for a very comfortable friendship. Sam planned to lounge around, doing online chores and enjoying Bucky's game commentary for a bit, before rustling up some lunch for them both and leaving the man in peace for the rest of the afternoon. It followed the basic routine that had developed over a few other injury-recovery periods. Bucky wasn't allowed to even try to bend his knee until tomorrow, and while Sam knew he'd happily-miserably manage on his own until then, he felt compelled to at least give him some company and one solid meal a day during the three days he could barely move. Though he was working on expanding his Trusted People list— there was possibly casual dating with an actual human woman going on, Sam suspected— it still consisted, as far as he could tell, of him, probably Sarah, and no one else.

So caretaking at least as much as would be tolerated fell to him. He hadn't minded in the first place, cajoling stubborn vets into self-care being his wheelhouse. But then he'd been benched after a near-miss not too long ago, and to his astonishment, Bucky had turned up right away to reciprocate with his own version of care: tidying up while talking shit, making lunch, and fussing about meds and bandages (which he didn't even let Sam do to him).

Sam had felt sheepish for his initial surprise. It made sense, and not just as payback. Whether they called themselves "partners" or not, Sam and Barnes, not just Falcon and the Winter Soldier, looked out for each other.

Bucky was deeply immersed in the game, playing through it with typical voracious speed, and before long his Link was talking to the aged scientists in the hidden villages, who remembered him and gave him the pictures to try to unlock his memories. Even while he joked about the dialogue, there was a solemn cast to his features. It occurred to Sam to get up and start puttering around the small kitchen attached to the living area. It was time to start lunch anyway, but if this was going to accidentally be a little bit of a "therapy thing," he wanted his friend to have a little space to let that happen.

Sam had thought the "captured memories", and the way one found them in the game, were beautiful and evocative. They bore little similarity to real-life flashbacks, what with being pulled out whole and coherent without any shaking, vomiting, or weeks of insomnia. Bucky had unearthed his identity and past from the ruin of his amnesiac brainwashed memories all alone. Sam had no idea what it had been like for him, couldn't imagine, and Bucky had never shown any inclination to share stories from that time.

From the couch came Bucky's unconscious whispered fuck yeah that meant he'd found what he was looking for in the game. Sam glanced up from the cutting board to see Link walk slowly up to a light shining out of a patch of grassy ground. Atmospheric piano started as the animated character looked from the scenery to the photo album with increasing consternation, until his frown cleared with a gasp of shock. The memory played. It was one of the more inconsequential ones, which were also the most poignant, as they showed one instance among what must have been thousands, of bonds forming, hesitant friendships being built— things that took so much gentle time to gradually accrue, and had been erased in a single moment leaving behind only fragments.

As curious as he was, Sam was glad he couldn't see Bucky's expression. After a minute Bucky glanced a quarter of the way over his shoulder at him, and Sam saw he was blinking kinda rapidly.

Sam wasn't an idiot. Emotions, Bucky Barnes, and being pressured to open up did not mix. Definitely not when he was in his own home healing a painful injury. He might have scrubbed his sweatshirt sleeve over his face a few times. There might have been a (loud) sniff from the couch at some point. Who was Sam to say. He was just making sandwiches over here. They watched the ball game over lunch.

Sam got back to his own life the next day after Bucky saw the doctor and assured him he was mobile enough to look after himself. It was another two days until he saw the familiar name on his phone with a text notification.

-Just beat Ganon easy

-gotta say it's a pretty great game

…-thanks.

There was a delay before that third message that made Sam smirk.

-Man, you're too fast. Glad you liked it.

He debated about five seconds before giving into the temptation and sending,

-So if you're Link,

-Zelda is…?

After all, Steve wasn't a princess in a castle, but he had been trapped for almost a century, he was awfully blond and blue eyed, and it had been him that brought Bucky Barnes out of the oblivion of the Winter Soldier…

-STFU Sam.

He snickered.

-Uh huh. There's some good DLC I heard.

But I'll be taking it back at some point, cuz watching

you just made me wanna start over from the beginning.

After a pause,

…-we'll see.