Taking his phone away was just petty, if you asked him.
Lucifer sat on Dr. Martins couch (not Linda, Linda was his friend and his brothers love, the good Doctor was there to tell him to fix himself in the softest way she could), gaze fixated on his hands as they tapped together, a soft thud coming from each tap. The Doctor took his phone away, asking him to focus on her for the time being. They sat in silence, Lucifer could feel her gaze on him as he struggled to come up with something to say (to talk about him, about how he loved and lost and felt pain for the first time since his arrival in the pits of Hell).
"You seem distracted," Dr. Martin started, Lucifer shifted his gaze from his lap, hands moving to play with the emerald that hung from his ear "is there something bothering you?" He nodded, clearing his throat, the smooth surface of the earring calming his nerves.
"I've been, thinking, about relationships and whatnot," The Doctor nodded, smiling at him gently, a silent push for him to continue. "And, I think I know why I've been so infatuated with the Detective for such a long while."
"That's wonderful Lucifer," Dr. Martin was kind, pushing a lock of hair back and shifting her hands as she looked at him with warmth in his eyes, "I'm glad your learning more about your attachments to others, if you're comfortable with it, would you tell me why?"
Lucifer felt himself brighten, a smile spreading across his face. "This isn't my first trip to Earth, I've been here throughout history time and time again, some breaks from ruling the underworld I suppose." Earth had always been different with each of his visits, time moving so incredibly fast despite it being the slowest realm to go to. And, each time, he felt himself grow more attached to the people that wandered its surface, not enough for it to hurt when he found them in hell a few decades later, but enough for him to enjoy basking in the attention human's gave him.
"And during one of these visits, I met someone the Detective reminds me of." Lucifer continued, rolling the emerald around as he tugged on his piercing. "His name was Parris, and he was nothing but stunning. I'd like to think you two would have gotten along." Dr. Martin nodded, writing something down in her notes. "I had met him in the earlier have of the 19th century, a year or so before Stonewall, actually. And I couldn't help but feel attached to him. I mean," he took in a breath, dropping his gaze back down to his lap as he squeezed the earring "he was the first human to look at me as something other than a sex toy, like I wasn't just someone to use, and I loved it."
Linda sucked in a breath, biting her lip slightly and the scribbling of pen on paper got louder. Lucifer glanced up, falling silent as he watched guilt creep up on her. He didn't say anything, waiting for her to stop writing, tugging more harshly on the earring.
"That's good," Dr. Martin took Linda's place, "it must have been difficult, knowing that most people only came to you because they wanted to use you for their own pleasure. I've come to notice that you tend to look a bit put off whenever a stranger comes onto you, do you really like sex, or do you just feel like it's something you owe people?" Lucifer blinked up at her, smile dropped and shoulders drawn taut.
He coughed, hand leaving his earring to drum patterns on the side of his throat. "He liked to play with my hair." Lucifer blurted, looking out the window, a bird was perched on the tree that was next to the office. Beautiful patterns of gold lacing the black feathers, the sun shone down on it through the canopy of leaves. "It was longer, back then. I think it was down to my waist." He didn't look back to the Doctor, eyes warm as he stared at the bird. "I looked different, I think I was around 18 thousand, then. It translates fairly cleanly to human years if you were wondering."
Dr. Martin paused in her writing, the grip on her pen tightening the slightest bit, "Wait, so you'd have been 18 in human years, right?" Lucifer nodded, the emerald swinging with the motion. "So would you still technically be 18?" He nodded again, watching as Linda looked down, eyes wide and muttering to herself about sleeping with a teenager.
Lucifer pressed his lips together, tension building up in him as he watched the Doctor think over what he said. "I cut it off, if you were wondering what happened. It was something Parris enjoyed and I didn't think other people who didn't know me the same way he did deserved to play with it the same way." He spoke quickly, tapping three fingers at the same time on the base of his neck. "Sometimes I miss having longer hair, I know I can grow it out again but it takes, awhile, to get it to the length it was. Not that I'm tight on time or anything."
Dr. Martin laughed a bit at the joke (or was she laughing at him, for thinking he could take up her precious time with stories of something he should have been over years ago?), he felt himself brighten at the reaction, he was doing good.
"But, to answer your question," Lucifer clicked his tongue, dropping his hand down to his lap and leaning back on the couch, the bird in the tree disappeared into the greenery. "Sex doesn't mean anything, when it's with strangers. It's just an easy way to feel satisfied - if, of course, it's actually done right." Dr. Martin hummed, her gaze shifting towards where he was playing with the fabric of his pants. "Parris, it felt different, with him. It felt more complete in a way."
"Sex is one of the most intimate things there is, it would make sense for it to feel different with someone you care for rather than casual hookups." The Doctor said, she looked him in the eyes, "You said Chloe reminded you of him, but are you sure you just miss having someone look at you without expecting something sexual?"
Lucifer looked back out the window, rubbing his thigh as he felt the Doctor's gaze burn into him. "I think," his throat tightened up, eyes burning as his breath turned shaky, "I think I just miss him." He bit down on his bottom lip, a flash of gold and black catching his gaze through the trees
(Lucifer awoke to arms around his waist in a bed that wasn't his, staring at gold hair that covered green eyes. He felt himself smile, something warm fluttering in his chest as he watched his partner's eyelids begin to flicker. He sat up, hair falling down his back as he watched Parris blink up at him, one of his hands fallen onto Lucifers lap.
"Good morning," Parris' voice was thick with sleep, "did you sleep well?" Lucifer nodded, running a hand through his hair as a bird caught his attention through the window. He listened as Parris shifted, moving towards the table that was next to his side of the bed.
Lucifer looked over at the sound of the drawer opening, watching as Parris took out a box and turned back towards him, offering it to him.
"I know we can't marry," He took the box from his hand, opening it with hesitant hands "but I figured that it would be alright if we could pretend we were." An emerald earring lay in the box, surrounded by a border of shining gems. Lucifer looked up, heart in his throat when he saw the matching jewel hanging from Parris' ear.
Lucifer cupped Parris's face, pecking him on the lips. "Parris, you seem to forget." He watched his husband tense up, eyebrows furrowed the slightest bit, "I'd follow you to the gates of Hell and back, as many times as you'd ask me to." He smiled, feeling his cheeks get the slightest bit warm as he slid his hand to push back the others' hair. "I'd be happy to call you mine.")
Dr. Martin nodded, eyes soft as she looked at him. "Something else is bothering you, isn't it?" Her voice sounded distant, barely registering in his mind.
"He died." Lucifer curled his hands into fists, bunching up the fabric of his pants "He was killed during the Stonewall Riot, and I wasn't there." He looked back over to the Doctor, eyes shining, "I promised that I would be with him no matter what, and he died in a crowd, and I wasn't there with him." He sucked in a shaky breath, tears spilling over. "He's in Hell, Doctor. He doesn't deserve to be there. He was a good man, he was wonderful and he cared about me and I just-" Lucifer cut himself off, choking on his words as he gasped for breath, "I just miss him."