I Don't Own Pokemon
One last bit before the return to the island, it wasn't overly grand, just the end of my break really, though I went through a few things and had more than one conversation I could have done without, but all and all, it was fine.
Things were about as weird as you'd think they would be when we got back. I sort of just tossed myself into my room and started a new line of thinking and trying to learn something, I knew a lot about a lot, but I still had a lot of gaps in my knowledge. I figured it would be enough, I was wrong. So I started to look more into psychology this time around, and if I focused on a few terms that hit a bit to close to home then, well, only Iris had access to my searches and he wasn't the judgmental type.
I used the last two weeks before I was heading back to the island to just look into it all, it was interesting enough, I hated some of it, but I kept with it and focused my area of focus into things that I could use in a more day to day setting instead of being able to list off a hundred mental disorders and symptoms, though that made me feel a bit like shit to be honest.
I also used the time to learn to write and do other normal things with my left hand until I didn't want to scream in rage. That was decently less interesting and much more aggravating but I pushed through it and a few calls with Vale at weird times at night made me feel better about it all, he just had that effect when we talked, not that I mentioned it, but he did make sure to call more when I mentioned I was relearning to use my hands. Which, I can't tell if he can just read my mind and knew having someone to distract me away from it all was helping or just wanted to talk more, but I appreciated it all the same.
So yeah, two weeks, and I've mostly got a hang for it all, writing is a bit meh, but my hand writing wasn't neat to begin with, I preferred typing over it, I was a lot faster at it to before the lighthouse but I had to build up my right hand some more before I could be doing any major speed typing, to much movement on my fingers right now, even with my black glove.
And I still had the inbuilt tendency to reach with my right hand instead of my left first, but I don't think that's going to go away any time soon so I just dealt with it. Over all though, the entire thing wasn't that bad, it just was stressful, but I was good with stressful these days so over all, beyond a few awkward moments when I had to deal with weird family moments, nothing all that crazy happened.
Until about ten minutes ago, when my package finally got delivered, a full day before I was to be shipped off to Unova for another ten months. Honestly those companies couldn't have cut the line any closer could they? Months, literal months, of debating and arguing with them all over every step of the way, and it only just now got here as I looked down at the device inlaid in a small box.
Despite any annoyance I might have felt, I was to busy grinning to myself as I looked down at it for a second before reaching down and picking it up as I turned the device around in my hand and hummed to myself. It was heavier than I figured, a solid two or so kilos, but it was also a big thing so it was a figured thing.
The device was a matt grey color, with a square screen that was about fifteen by fifteen centimeters and about fifty percent more of the thickness than what you'd see on a standard cellphone. Along the width of the device was a large number small little things, on the two side left to right where two omni-directional cameras at the top and bottom, along with two mics on it to gauged sound distance accurately with. On the top was another device that worked as a directional mic, along with two wider cameras, with two more on the back that may or may not work to act like night vision and thermal cameras.
They weren't exactly high powered, but they should work well enough build up a proper image, along with the two sides of the back had small slots that could be pushed up to reveal two halves of one keyboard that I could use to type, as I'll be honest, I was better with proper machinal keys than one on the screen, beyond that the back also had a small touch pad I could use like a mouse with my left thumb, it had originally been on the right, but gloves made it hard to interact with, Richard had pointed that out so I switched it over.
But that was just the design and hardware, the real things that were cool about this handy device was the fact it held ten terabytes of storage, ran almost as fast as my home computer, and had access to my pokedex's national dex, which I had finally downloaded. As well as the fact that it had the ability to use the radio, connected to a satellite, the same one that most sat phones and pokedexes used, to allow near perfect internet access, and the fact that it could also function as my phone.
Oh, it also had bluetooth and it's own hot spot, and was built out of enough heavy duty stuff that it should be at least waterproof and would have to take some serious damage before the screen cracked, along with numerous smaller things... You do not want to know how much money I sunk into this thing ok? Cause the price is honestly a bit ridiculous even for me, but I couldn't help but grin after a moment as I pulled out my phone and stared at Iris as he lifted himself up into the air as I said.
"Hey Iris, I got a new device for you. I figured this would be a bit more better, in like every way" My phone blinked at me before suddenly Iris was not my phone anymore as I smiled a bit and held out the device, he seemed to think about it for a moment before floating over and jumping into the device with a buzz as I watched for a moment before I felt just a bit smug to myself as I watched as two blue eyes appeared on the screen, wide with wonder as I smiled down at him and said.
"It's probably a bit disorientating, having more eyes than your use to with all the cameras, some I recommend not using all the time to not give yourself a headache, but I noticed how much you like taking pictures and recording things, so I figured I'd get you a better set up, plus a few other things" His eyes were moving back and forth as I watched as a few dozen screens popped up as a home screen appeared as I said.
"Get set up, you know all my passwords at this point, we can transfer everything over soon as you get all comfortable alright?" I got a nod as I smiled to myself. Feeling pretty damn good about myself right now, seeing how much he liked it... I couldn't really fit him in my pants pockets anymore though, the device, which I got to name, was a bit to big for that... Hmm. Hadn't thought about that to be honest...
I'll just start wearing light jackets, the ones with those big inside pockets that I swear you can store entire humans in. Yeah, that'll be good, besides I honestly can never have enough pockets these days.
"Thank! You" I just gave Iris a nod and said simply enough as I watched him float about and around tryin got get use to his new body.
"It wasn't a problem at all buddy, I'm just glad you like it" It had been a big problem, I probably bankrupted two companies for this thing, I didn't really care though, cause I really was very glad he liked it, it made it all more than worth the effort.
"So your heading back" I nodded, not really sure where I should be looking at the moment as I let my weight shift around a tad as I waited on Mom to continue as she stood in my door way, cornering me being the best way to force a conversation between us. This was like the second time we've spoken directly to each other since I got back, and since I was about to leave in the next day... This just felt really awkward to be honest.
"Why?" I-... I don't know what went through my head there, but the sudden overwhelming sense of confused disbelief rushed through me like a rocket, so hard I nearly stumbled while standing upright as I turned to look at her more directly. My face twisting in what I wasn't sure if it was more anger, confusion, or something else entirely. As that happened I felt the words tumbled out of my mouth.
"Why what?" So many things filled my mind, but I needed to hear it, needed to make sure before I either exploded, broke down, or did something different. It spoke about how well I know my emotions that I have absolutely no clue how I'll react. She didn't seem to notice, or just didn't care about how uncomfortable I was, and honestly it could have been both, as she said with a sharper tone.
"You're smarter than that. You know what I'm talking about. Why are you so caught up in this ridiculous dream?" Of course my reaction was wrong, cause none of the things I thought I would do didn't happen, I didn't break down, I didn't start yelling, I didn't even particularly feel angry which was shocking all by itself. I just felt numb, even as a wheezing almost hysteretic laugh ripped from my throat as I felt my eyes widen in a mix of so many things as I said like it was hilarious.
"Ha! Why? You know why!" I half flung one of my arms up to point at her as suddenly my face dropped as she just kept standing there as we just stared at each other, and suddenly the rage came back, ah, there it is... I felt my face twist up into a glare as I tried my absolute best to not roar out my words.
"Oh wait No you fucking don't!" She looked ready to try and say something about the cussing as I continued on "You know why? Because you never fucking asked! I had to scream them at you and you would never fucking listen! You go on and on about me being smart enough but your the dumbass who has selective hearing!" She was stalking right at me now, but I had gone through to much to find her intimidating anymore as she said in a deadly cold tone.
"Don't you dare talk to your mother like that you-" I interrupted.
"You what? Huh! Disappointment? Failure? What's the word of the day! And why the fuck shouldn't I huh? Go on give me a fucking reason!" I was yelling now, but I didn't care, the rage was pooling to much to care about a lot of things at the moment as I watched, almost in slow motion as a hand shot up and was ready to slap me across the face with. Mom always was bad at keeping her temper in check. I barely had to think about it, my hand shooting up and catching her's on reflex built from multiple near death choices...
That didn't stop the overwhelming pain that shot up my arm as I grimaced in pain as we both seemed to realize at the same time she just tried to hit me, and I had grabbed it with my bad hand. It burned as I gasped as her hand was tugged out of mine as my throat made a sound that I didn't want to admit to as I half hunched over and cradled my hand with my other, my chest shaking, and suddenly it was hard to breath, as I tried for a long moment to try and just take a breath before a hand came down softly on my back.
It wasn't working, I couldn't breath- Why- Why couldn't I breath, I just- breath, come on. Brea-
"I- I'm... Count, Cobalt, up to ten. Slowly" I wanted to scream at her to get out my room but I couldn't think, and I was beginning to panic and I didn't like panicking so after a moment I gasped out another breath and began to count to myself, silently because fuck her if she was going to know she was helping me, as I finally managed to get up to ten. It... helped as I managed to pull out of her touch as I fell into a chair.
We just sat there for a long moment as I tried to get my breath under control doing my best to ignore the stabbing pain throughout my hand and up my right arm, I desperately needed someone right now, Khione, Charon, Iris, it didn't matter, I just needed one of them... I glanced up at Mom who was looking at me with a look I didn't even want to think about as I glanced away before saying in a hoarse and frustrated half gasping breath as I said in the most cold tone I could make at the moment.
"I hate you, I hate dad, and I hate my life... That's why I want to be a trainer. Because it means I can get the fuck away from you and your stupid business... Because I just want to be fucking happy. Happy?" She didn't say anything after that for a long moment as I finally managed to look up at her for a second before choking out "Now, just... just leave me the fuck alone while I rewrap my hand"
I slowly got up as I practically felt her eyes move to my now blood soaked right hand... This was going to set me back at least another few weeks... Fuck. My chest was heaving a bit as I walked away, but Mom got the damn hint and walked away as I half collapsed into my bedroom as I managed to send out Khione and Charon before I had another fucking panic attack.
My glove was stemming the blood that I couldn't are much about it right now as I grabbed my girl and felt her make a questioning sound before I just pulled her in close to my chest as I took a long moment to myself as I felt Charon float close by before moving to press himself against my side.
If I stayed there a bit longer than I needed to, then, well, my Pokemon weren't going to tell anyone. And if I promised myself to look more into trauma responses and panic attacks the next time I go into a dive in psychology, well, that's no one else's damn business now is it?
Saying goodbye to my siblings was about as normal and awkward as it had been the first time. I got a hug from Jasper, and Amber just sort of hung off my arm for a while before I got into the car to head to the airport, but all and all it was fine. I didn't see my Mom when I left, but I honestly don't think we're going to be having a conversation for a long time after the last one we had yesterday.
Dad was there though, he looked... pained, sad, and something else, it was a weird thing to see on his face, but all the same he gave me a smile and a wave and that was it really. That's all I got from him, I wasn't really expecting much, but even that felt a bit dry. either way from there it was a simple drive up to the airport, dealing with boarding, and then moving onto the plane, where we now where.
Madison was with me in the first class side of things this time when we got onto the plane, and besides my normal dislike for airport security, Sinnoh was pretty quick about it all things considered compared to Unova or even Johto, so in comparison it went by fast enough, as now we were just sitting besides each other on a twelve hour flight, which was about as interesting as it sounded with the silent man, and since I couldn't have Iris out, cause, Pokemon, I was bored out of my mind just scrolling through articles and some research based papers on my phone in the mean time while listening to some music.
Not all of them were interesting, but there were a few diamonds in the rough as I sent them to the save files location that was attached to one of my emails so Iris could have access to him and then save the things so I could read the rest or just have it somewhere if I wanted to look at it more later. I found a few things that I wanted to read later on in more detail instead of in an uncomfortable chair, the human mind was very complicated, and while it wasn't really all that interesting to me, like at all, I still saved more than a papers on some things I felt a bit to related with. To a frankly worrying degree.
Did you know that psychopathic tendencies line up disturbingly well with a few traits I have? I did now, and I don't like knowing that to be honest, like at all. It's one thing to learn I got an attention and learning disorder, it's another entirely to learn I might be genuinely fucking crazy. So I stopped after that, not letting myself think to hard on the matter, so I didn't have a freak out, and just did my best to relax into the music.
That lasted me about a quarter of the flight before Madison finally looked up from a magazine he had been reading, the movement catching my ears more than my eyes cause I was resting them, a habit I had taken to limit headaches when I didn't need to look around or use them to, well, see. With that in mind, I flickered my eyes open to glance at the man who was now looking at me.
"You look tired" I snorted at that, it was some of the first words we've spoken to each other in a few months that was just about us. I didn't know how I felt about that, he had been keeping his distance, and I'm not entirely sure if it's cause of my parents ordering him to and now that we're out of the region my word is more important than theirs, or he had some thought on the matter or just didn't feel like talking outside of his job requirements until now. i suppose whatever the reason it doesn't really matter.
"I am, I didn't sleep last night" I didn't care about mincing words with him, he didn't pity me, he wouldn't pity me, so I saw no reason to hide anything from him like that, he was just... I don't know, for a guy who was in his forties, he was very easy to just tell things to. I wasn't sure if it was one of those things I got from almost dying with him, or because he was the only adult in my life I didn't hold some negative emotion towards, or it was something else, but I didn't want to examine it to closely either.
"Any reason why?" I just shrugged, just cause I didn't mind telling him things, doesn't mean I wasn't a stubborn ass who kept things close to my chest all the time. I just knew he wouldn't judge me for any of it. And like that, I knew he just nodded as well to my silent dismissal of the question, moving on without issue as he asked instead "You have more free time correct?"
I glanced over at him at that, his eyes were about as readable as ever, which wasn't very, but his body language was tense. He wasn't exactly good at communications, and it was suddenly clear this was going to be a proper talk, or at least he wanted it to be, but he was way to uncomfortable with his own words to know how to broach the topic fully without being blunt... Normally he wouldn't care about not being blunt when it comes to telling me things, meaning this is something I might not like hearing. Joy, it's going to be one of those awkward conversations that I don't know how to really navigate either.
Neither of us were exactly paragons of good social skills after all. I needed more information before I could really get a proper thought about whatever this was about, so I just nodded and answered his question.
"Yeah, my schedule is a lot looser, I only have five Pokemon based classes instead of six, and instead of eight standard classes I only have four and I can do them much more at my own pace, I'll practically have half the day to myself this time around instead of like three hours at best" My current class load for the island, aka the Pokemon classes were as follows: Expert Tracking, Expert battle, Battle Theory two, Pokemon Customs, and Pokemon sciences. I dropped the exercise class, Pokemon biology, item making and replaced them with the last two mentioned. Mostly cause I could do the first by myself, the second I could self-study, and the third cause it just wasn't my thing. So all in all, I went from fourteen to nine classes, which was a massive drop in work.
Madison just nodded, looking me over, his eyes seemingly examining my body, I recognized the look, he was sizing me up. I didn't exactly care, I've been in the lime light since I was like four, if I couldn't handle someone staring at me in an uncomforting way, then I wouldn't have made it past seven. Besides, I knew nothing creepy was going on up in his head, if there was even a hint of that up there, he would never had made it this long in the bodyguard business for kids, that stuff is checked over a few dozen times every time he is accepted as a possibility for job before he's even thought about being hired.
I'm sure if I tried hard enough, I could find the file from his background check that is on Madison's dating history if I wanted to, but there were some things I really wasn't interested in looking into, that was one of them.
"You're not going to stop getting in trouble are you?" I blinked at the sudden question before shrugging.
"Probably not, I'm way to stubborn to give up on being a trainer, and we both know that shit's dangerous" I knew very well, I doubt I'll ever meet another freaking Legendary Pokemon in my life time, fact of life or not, they were still so rare that the average person seeing one is still a lifetime event. Not that I exactly care, I could probably go my life like that without worry, cause... well, I've already almost died enough thank you.
"You'll die the second you can't think quick enough to figure something out" I frowned at that and gave the man a glare that he didn't react to. I swear to every god I know of, if he's about to try and talk me out of what I want, I'm going to be very fucking... I don't know actually, betrayed? Angry? Emotionally compromised? It won't be pretty, especially cause we're on a flight with a hundred people, and I'm not exactly the quiet type when I get pissed off as I snapped out.
"Good for me that I'm a very fast thinker then" He grimaced, seemingly realizing just what his words implied as he looked away for a second, apparently trying to gather the correct words this time as I waited and did my best to not jump to any conclusions. I was tired of being angry all the time when something didn't go my way, and I really didn't want to be angry at Madison.
"You- Kid, you're smart, and clever, with enough time there's not much you couldn't think yourself out of. But that doesn't mean you'll always have that time to think of something. Somethings things come at you hard and fast and you don't get to think" I nodded, I knew that as well, way to well, just cause other things replaced it most of the time, doesn't mean that a metal pipe coming down at my skull still wasn't played on occasion in my nightmares.
"Yeah, but that's what my Pokemon are there for, I come up with the plans and they follow through and protect me" He gave me an unimpressed look, but I wasn't kidding, I made it a point to not go out in overly public space without some kind of protection, be it Khione or Charon, or Madison, or even just Iris. I made sure I wasn't ever alone fully, not to mention the things I was planning on getting myself. If the school hadn't banned weapons, then I would have like three tasers on myself at all times.
Honestly I didn't care much about the rule, but the chances of getting caught was a bit to real for the trouble it would give me, and I knew I could probably handle anything that happened on school grounds anyway... Even though I doubt I'll ever feel fully safe there again, it was better than nothing.
"They might not always be there ready for you, you need to learn to defend yourself as well" I blinked at that before shooting him a look, cause that sounded a lot like- "Once your hand isn't going to break open from simple things, I thought about showing you the basics on how to defend yourself"
I was just staring at him still, cause I wasn't really expecting that to be honest, like at all. So I just blinked again after a second and said the first thing that came to mind, which of course wasn't something I should have said.
"You're like three hundred pounds of muscle and like half a meter taller than me, I think my hand is the last thing I'd worry about" That actually got a small grin from the massive man as he said.
"Self defense is more than getting hit until you react better, it's about knowing how to react and building stimuli to certain things happening so you can react before you can think about it in the way that increases your survival odds by the most with the least action or thinking required" I nodded a small bit, my mind still stuck in the stark factor while I continued to try and wrap my mind around what I was hearing as I said.
"I think you'll need to teach me a bit different than you learned, cause I'm half your height, most people are half your height" He nodded like that was obvious and him being two meters tall wouldn't affect the fact that I was twelve.
"Obviously, your answer?" I was still kind of shocked he wanted to teach me, like, this wasn't the first time, he helped me a lot and taught me a bunch about doing proper background checks on people and how to scout threats, but that was clearly something he did to make sure I didn't get in trouble, cause his job was to make sure I was safe in all aspects. This was... I don't know, it was like that but different. It just felt different, like he wanted to help me because he knew I'd need it when I was a trainer, cause he knew I was going to be one no matter what.
It... I don't know what I was feeling, but it wasn't all that bad as I said simply.
"I'm down as long as I don't get my ass kicked that much" He smirked like I had said something hilarious, and it was interesting to notice just how fast that pleasant feeling shifted to slight dread. "Huh, so this is what instant regret feels like"
If anything his smirk grew just a tad as I just sighed. But strangely enough, I also felt better. It was weird, I recognized that, but choose to not think more about it. I had a habit of ruining my good moods by thinking to much, I wanted to break that trend, didn't know how yet so I just went back to listening to my music when it was clear Madison was done with the conversation.
Notice people! This one's important! I'm thinking about changing up the posting times of this story. To put it simple, I'm averaging around 15 to 19k words a week for this story just to keep ahead of the curve, and I don't mind, I type really fast, I only need a few hours each chapter just to put it on the screen, it's like at most full night or two to write for a weeks worth of chapters, just spread out throughout that time. But I do actually have a life, and I'm posting a ridiculous amount of words per week for a while now, but my motivation isn't always going to be strong enough to just power through words like nothing. So I figure I'll switch it up, no three weekly posts, I'm going to give myself massive burn out if I keep at this pace. Instead, probably I'll only post on Fridays from now on and maybe every other week I'll post on a Monday as well, so instead of like fifteen posts and like 80k posts a month, which is the length of some full on novels with months of work put in them I might add, it'll be a more reasonable seven to eight posts with around 40k words. It'll cut down stress on me by a fuck ton cause then I don't have three deadlines a week to write out thousands of words, and I'll have more free time to myself to use on other projects I want to work on. So this'll probably be the best before I burn myself out.
Shortish chapter, but I rushed it out a bit so there's what. I thought about giving a better send off for Bugsy for the time being but I couldn't really think of a scene that would do it justice after the last chapter's ending so I just moved on to the next bits. First off, I wanna talk about Cole's Mom... she's real bad, like really bad, in a way that she is stuck up and in her own head and refuses to look at anything outside her own view and if anything goes against that her temper raises quickly and without control... Sound like anyone? It should, it's the basis for Cole's anger problems, but that's not the point, she's a bad mother, a real bad one, cause she's an idiot, and frankly, she's a bit unredeemable, I made that a point. The dad wants to try, wants his family fixed, the mom is shitty and doesn't want to bother, to stubborn to bother with anything of the sort. It's a difference, it's on purpose, she's suppose to be a character you hate, that's her design. Past that, Madison is a good dude who just wants to make sure the brat that is Cole doesn't get himself killed, stepping more into the role of mentor that he had in the last school year. It's a whole thing, anyway. I don't really have much more to talk about right here, so I think I'm going to head it off now and maybe start on the next one which will have the reunions. See ya.