"Fuck." Enid curses, staring down at the pregnancy test in her hands.

Enid rubbed her eyes and then shook her head, desperately praying that this was all some bad dream. But it wasn't, she knew that, deep down, no matter what she tried, the plus sign on the small pink stick would stay in place. Enid wants nothing more than to wrap herself in a cocoon of blankets in her room and cry, and, now that she thinks about it, she might actually do that.

Somebody knocks on the bathroom door, and Enid nearly leaps out of her skin in fright. Her cheeks flushes a bright red, and she begins fumbling with the small pink plastic stick in her hands. Coming very close to dropping it into the toilet.

The knock wasn't at all noisy, but it scared the hell out of Enid anyway. She had always been pretty jumpy, especially before she found Alexandria. Carl used to tease her about it all the time.

A lump begins to form in her throat at the thought of Carl, and she tries desperately to swallow it down. She had already done so much crying during the past two months, and she knew that if she started again, she wouldn't be able to stop.

Either way, she must've made some sort of sound of surprise, a yelp maybe. Because seconds later, Maggie's concerned voice filtered in from the other side of the door.

"Enid? Are you okay?"

No, she wanted to scream, I am not okay, in fact, everything is horrible, and my life is over. But she doesn't. Instead, Enid squeezes the plastic stick in her hands so hard that her fists begin to turn white from the pressure. The damn thing creaks and she has little doubt that if she squeezes it any harder, it's gonna break. Not that it would be all that horrible if it did, in fact, she would very much prefer if it broke.

Not that it would change anything, she thinks bitterly. Sending a glare towards the little pink stick once more. The little plus sign shined innocently up at her, and she wanted nothing more than to shove it in the toilet, flush it down, and never see it again. Even though she has another thirty packs of the same thing stuffed inside her bag, that would more likely than not hold the same results as the first.

She takes a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart as she watched herself in the mirror.

"I'm okay," she calls out, even if its the exact opposite of the truth. She had a feeling that Maggie could tell that everything was, in fact, not okay. Seeing as she had spent the last twenty-something minutes locked away in the bathroom.

"Oh, are you sure?" She asks softly. "Cause you've been in there for at least twenty minutes. We were starting to wonder if you fell in."

Enid lets out a little laugh, a bit on the hysteric side, and she wouldn't be surprised if Maggie thought she was going insane or something. "Really Maggie, I'm alright, I had a bit of a stomach ache, but I'm fine now."

"Oh, okay." There was a pause, and then the sound of Maggie taking a deep breath. "Do you need me to go get Siddiq? He probably has something that could help."

She winced but shook her head. Nearly slapping herself when she realized that Maggie could not, in fact, see through doors, and alas, did not see her response.

"Oh, there's no need." She says, dumping the used test into her bag along with the others. "Don't want to bother him. It's getting better already."

The truth is, Enid doesn't really think she could face Siddiq. Not after what happened with Carl. While she knew it wasn't his fault (at least, not entirely,) she couldn't help it.

"Oh," Maggie says in a skeptical tone. "Um, okay then, if you need anything..."

"I know, but I'm alright, Maggie, I promise," Enid responds, not relaxing until she hears the scrape of Maggie's boots fade away. Well, mostly relaxed, she still wanted to cry. And she didn't think that really counted as relaxed.

Enid let out a loud groan, crumpling onto the floor and dropping her head into her cupped hands. She gnawed on her lip, running her fingers through her tangled hair and accidentally tearing a small clump out, but she paid it no mind, to busy panicking to really care. She stayed like that for a few seconds before glancing up, looking through her caged fingers at the clutter of used products that formed a halo around her feet.

Empty boxes and used tests, she even took (by took she meant stole) a few books from Maggie to check. Her bag lay by the bathtub, the zipper undone and insides filled with even more tests, all unused. She could grab the rest of them, wait in that bathroom, and use them all while hoping and praying for some sort of change. False positives were a thing, right?

But Enid's already used at least ten of the damn things, and they all held the same results. There was no way all ten of them could be false positives.

Forget crying, Enid really wants to scream. But she couldn't do that unless she wanted to worry everyone else and have them come running, and then they'd all find out and then-

Enid breathes deeply, running a hand through her hair before exhaling. She needed to calm the fuck down. Panicking never helped anybody, it only got them killed. She would have to deal with this on her own, and she would, because honestly, she had no other choice in the matter.

Enid takes a nervous breath and stands up on numb legs that seemed to want to drop beneath her. Slowly, she begins picking up her things. She probably shouldn't stay in there any longer, not if she wanted to worry someone more than she already had.

After the realization finally settles in later that night, she buries her head into her pillow and cries for the whole night.

She cries and cries and cries. She cries for what feels like an eternity before she falls asleep. She cries silent tears when she wakes sometime in the early morning, careful not to wake Maggie, who was only a few feet away, fast asleep with a hand on her rapidly growing stomach. She ends up crying herself to sleep again, and if Maggie sees the tear stains on her cheeks a few hours later, she doesn't say anything.

A part of Enid wanted to tell Maggie right then and there while they were alone, but something stops her: fear, grief, maybe even shame. But it doesn't matter, she doesn't say anything. She simply gives Maggie a small nod and slips out the door.

Her feet carry her to the infirmary without her even realizing it. The place is surprisingly empty for what took place only a week ago. The only person there is Siddiq, who gives her a kind smile but is unable to look her in the eye.

A lot of people are like that nowadays - have been since it happened. It's all strained smiles and sad eyes that are unable to meet her own, filled with either pity or sympathy. Enid wasn't sure if she had seen a single real smile since that day.

Enid doesn't bother trying to remember, nor does she smile back at Siddiq, she's too tired to even attempt it.

"Is everything okay?" Siddiq asks, his voice soft.

She blinks, her arms moving to hug her chest as she tries desperately to stop the anger that flares up from the simple question.

Because no, nothing is alright. Nothing is okay, and it feels as if it will never be that way again. But she knows that he doesn't mean it that way, he knows she isn't alright, everyone does. But his question implies something else entirely.

But she can't help it, everyone has been asking her that lately as if they expect the answer to change, and she hates it.

She hates it so much.

Slowly, she shakes her head. "I wouldn't be here if it was, now would I?"

He winces. "Yeah, I guess." He forces his eyes to meet hers. "How can I help you, then?"

She feels her mouth go dry, and her throat begins to tighten. Her mind goes blank as she tries to come up with a way to say something, to tell him. She knows there's no easy way, so she just sucks up the remains of whatever courage she has and blurts it out.

"I'm pregnant."

She hears the sharp intake of breath, and it takes everything inside her not to bolt.

She doesn't know how long they stand there for, but as the seconds pass, a faint thread of fear begins to form, and soon, she begins to doubt.

She knows what most people would say, they would say that she's stupid for letting this happen, for getting pregnant in a time like this. That she shouldn't have been having sex without protection or having sex at all. She's only sixteen - or at least, around that - and supplies are low enough as it is.

But he doesn't say any of those things. He doesn't yell or scold Enid. In fact, he doesn't seem angry or frustrated at all. He doesn't try and pity her like a lot of people would've done. Instead, when Enid finally musters the courage to look back up, he looks...

He looks guilty.

A devastated expression has crossed his face, and he's slumped against the wall. He's staring at the ground, hands in his hair with his eyes tightly shut.

"I'm so sorry, Enid. I - I didn't mean - I didn't want..." he trails off, his hands moving to cover his face. "It's his."

It's not a question - it's a statement, but Enid nods anyway. "It is."

He opens his eyes, his eyes cloudy and unfocused. "It was unplanned, I'm guessing."

"Yes." She answers without hesitation. "It was."

"And do you know for sure?" He asks.

Enid snorts, "I've taken at least ten tests, I'm pretty damn sure."

It occurs to her faintly that this is the longest conversation she's ever had with Siddiq. Probably one of the only ones too. But she squashes that thought out as soon as it came.

"When was the last time you..." Siddiq trails off again, looking slightly unsure, but Enid knows what he's asking without him having to say it.

"A few days before he-" she swallows, trying to rid herself of the lump in her throat. "Around three days before it happened."

"So, you're around two months along then?"

Had Carl really been gone for two months already? Enid forces herself to nod.

"I guess."

Her voice is beginning to crack, and Enid has a feeling that if she says another word, she might just burst into tears. But she doesn't want to cry in front of Siddiq, doesn't want him to have another reason to feel guilty, doesn't want him to know how much this is affecting her.

But she can feel her eyes begin to burn, feels the pressure building in her throat, so she forces herself to breathe. She closes her eyes, taking in deep breaths and exhaling slowly in an attempt to collect herself - at least slightly. It works, but barely.

"I'm so sorry," Siddiq said, breaking the silence.

"I know," Enid manages to choke out, reopening her eyes. "But we can't change the past."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less," Siddiq reminds her.

When Enid doesn't respond, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"Well," he begins after another long moment, "I'm going to assume that you want an ultrasound? It won't tell us much, but it will - without a doubt - say more than an expired pregnancy test will."

Her lips twitch into the ghost of a smile, and she nods. "I'd like that."

A smile appears on his face, it's small and faint, but for once, it looks real.

"Give me a second to start the machine up then," he says, clapping his hands together, "can you get up on the table?"

Enid nods mutely, clambering onto the table. He starts the machine without another word, working silently and looking at anything that isn't Enid. She supposes she could understand why, and she appreciates the silence. Anything is better than the awkward hellos and meaningless sympathies that people have been giving her lately.

Enid lifts up her shirt, and Siddiq squirts a cold gel onto her stomach. It sends a shiver up her spine, but she forces herself to pay attention as Siddiq takes a deep breath and switches on the machine.

He turns back to her, "you ready?"

Enid can't find the energy in her to say another word, so she responds with a shaky nod and a strained smile.

Siddiq places the wand onto her stomach, and a cloudy image flickers to life on the screen of the ultrasound machine. It takes Enid a few seconds to find what she's looking for in the blurry sea of black and white. But then her eyes skim down to the bottom of the screen, and she sees it. A small shadow curled in the corner of the screen, just like the one she's seen with Maggie's numerous ultrasounds.

It's when she hears Siddiq's gasp that she realizes that there's something different.

Her eyes follow his, confused, and a little worried.

When she sees what he's looking at, her heart seems to stop beating.

There was another shadow, smaller than the first and almost unnoticeable on the blurred screen.

There were two.

She meets Siddiq's gaze, slowly with her eyes wide. He doesn't need to say it, she knows what it means.

"Well, fuck," she breathes.

It takes Enid a total of three seconds for her to fall in love with the two babies she sees on the screen. And another three for the realization to fully settle.

Twins, she was having twins.

She was going to be a mother.

The thought both scared and comforted her at the same time, which really didn't make much sense now that she thought about it. She was only sixteen! Shouldn't she be running around and doing whatever the hell sixteen-year-old's did in this world? But at the same time, she felt protective over the two babies she was carrying. She felt nervous, sad, happy, and love for these children all at the same time.

The love she felt for them was what shocked her the most.

It was a shockingly deep, impossibly strong wave of undying love that washes over her in those few seconds, so fierce that if she were standing, it would've knocked Enid right off her feet. Maggie had told her she had felt something like this when she first saw her son on the machine's screen, but Enid never truly understood what the older woman meant until now. Until she felt it for herself.

It engulfs her, consumes her very being. It flows from the tip of her toes to the top of her head. It encases her heart, and fills her lungs; spreads to every part of her body both inside and out. She breathes it in and breathes it out. It was a part of her.

She had never felt anything remotely like it, and Enid wasn't even sure if love was a strong enough word for what she's feeling. The feeling of utter devotion and protectiveness she feels for these babies. But there was no other word Enid could use to describe it. So she uses love.

Enid can't take her eyes off the screen, totally entranced. Her mouth hangs slightly open, and she can feel the tears from before beginning to well up once more. But no longer were they tears from grief or stress, they were from something else entirely.

It takes her a few seconds to register the sound of sniffling somewhere to her side, the sound of crying. So, reluctantly, Enid tears her eyes from the machine to look at Siddiq. He was covering his face with one of his hands, his expression hidden as he tried to regain control of his breathing.

"Are you okay?" She asks him after a few moments, both confused and slightly worried about the man sitting beside her.

"I'm fine," Siddiq says, removing his hand and shaking his head, "It's just..."

Enid cocks her head to the side, furrowing her brow as she waits for him to speak. "Just what?" She inquires.

After what felt like an eternity, he sighs, looking to Enid with an indescribable emotion in his eyes. "These children, they're... they're not going to have a father because of me." His voice starts to break as he says this. "Because of my mistake."

Enid's heart aches at the mention of Carl. She had known this, of course, but she had tried not to think about it. Everything was still too fresh, and the idea of Carl never getting to know these children...

It broke her.

Taking even herself by surprise, Enid reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. She didn't say anything, she didn't think that she could. But it was the least she could do, all she could do really.

"Who knows?" Siddiq asks her once he managed to regain his composure. "Have you told anyone else yet?"

Enid shook her head, a strand of anxiety forming in her gut. "Just you. And me, obviously." She had a feeling about what he was going to say next, and she was, unfortunately, proven right with his next few words.

"You need to tell someone."

"I know," Enid says, sighing. "I just... I need time."

And a whole lot of it.

Over the next three weeks, Enid's stomach began to grow, and yet she didn't say anything. She covered it with fluffy jackets and baggy shirts and would hide away from the Hilltop residents whenever she got the chance, fearing that there was a chance that one of them might notice.

She knew she couldn't hide it forever, soon not even the fluffiest jacket or the baggiest shirt could cover her growing stomach. But she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone. Not even the ones closest to her.

She wanted to tell them: Rick, Michonne, Maggie, but she just couldn't. She was too scared, terrified of how they might react. Every time she managed to gather the courage to go up to any of them and try, she just shut down.

As the fourth week rolled around, marking her third month of pregnancy, Siddiq had been dropping more and more hints that she needed to tell someone. Eventually, he outright said that if Enid didn't tell everyone herself, he would do it for her.

A part of Enid actually was tempted to let him do it.

Enid settles herself down in the far corner of the Hilltop, out of view of most of the residents and breathing in the air as if it could wash away all her problems. She leans against the wall, staring up at the sky. There wasn't a single cloud up there today, she realized, perfect weather for a run.

Maggie comes up beside Enid, and the younger woman gives her a curious glance. Maggie smiles, nudging her elbow with her own and, after a few seconds of struggling, sinks down beside her. Enid has to fight the urge to jump away, wanting nothing more than to be alone.

"It's a beautiful day," Maggie says in a soft whisper, Enid spares a thought to wonder why the hell she was whispering, before shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah," Enid says, "it is."

Maggie moves around in an attempt to make herself comfortable. Which clearly doesn't succeed judging by the exasperated expression on her face.

"Having a little trouble there?" Enid asks, a faint smile pulling at her lips.

"A little? This kid is killing me," Maggie swats at her head, and Enid laughs. There is a beat of silence, and Enid could feel something beginning to form in her stomach. Dread, maybe?

"Enid," Maggie starts, her voice soft in a way that only a mother (or a soon-to-be one) could make it. "Is there something wrong?"

And there it is.

You really couldn't keep secrets from mothers, could you? At least, not the good ones. And certainly not from Maggie Rhee.

Enid wraps her arms around her waist, biting her lip.

She thinks about it, telling her. It would certainly feel good, telling someone, and Maggie was in a similar situation herself. She would know better than anyone how to help Enid with this.

Enid bites deeper into her lip, and she clenches her fists, nails digging deep into her skin.

"Enid?"

Enid takes a deep breath, reaching into one of the pockets of her jacket. She had asked Siddiq to print her a few pictures, which he had gladly obliged too, and she had taken to carrying them around with her.

Slowly, she takes out one of the pictures, unfolding it and silently handing it to Maggie. Enid tucks her knees into her chest and squeezes her eyes shut, waiting for the moment that Maggie realizes.

There's a sharp intake of breath, and then silence.

A few seconds pass, and there's a whisper.

"Oh, Enid."

Maggie pulls Enid close, wrapping her arms around the teen and resting her chin atop her head. Enid tenses in her grip, before slowly relaxing into the woman's embrace.

"I'm so sorry."

Enid just cries.

A week later, Enid and Maggie enter Rick and Michonne's home for dinner. Pretty much everyone was there: Daryl, Carol, Rosita, Tara, Aaron, Gabriel, Eugene... The sight of everyone bustling around in the house almost made Enid reconsider what she was about to do. It was only Maggie's hand that rested on her back that stopped her from bolting.

Her legs wobble beneath her, and Enid ends up leaning heavily on Maggie to stop herself from falling over.

God, she was a wreck.

"Enid! Maggie!" Michonne strides forward, pulling them both into a hug. "We're so glad you could make it!"

"Trust me, we are too!" Maggie replies for the both of them, hugging Michonne back just as tightly.

Enid pretty much collapses into her seat when she makes it to the table. Maggie seats herself beside her moments later.

Unfortunately, it was Rick who sat on her other side, and despite the smile he sent her way when he saw her, Enid was unable to meet his eyes.

Maggie squeezes her hand.

Everyone settled down, laughing and chatting with one another as they ate. Enid ate as much as she could before her nerves threatened to overtake her.

Halfway through dinner, Enid stood up.

The table quieted almost instantly.

"I have an announcement to make," she starts.

A series of curious murmurs echoed from around the table, and Enid took in a shaky breath.

"I know that I should have told you this sooner. As soon as I found out really, but I just couldn't." Enid forces herself to meet Rick's eyes. "I couldn't because I was scared."

"Scared?" Tara echoes, "scared of what?"

Rosita sends her a glare, quieting the other woman almost instantly.

"I don't know I-" Enid's fingers clench, "I guess I thought you would hate me."

"We could never hate you, Enid," Michonne says to her, "you know that."

"Please, just... just let me say this," Enid begs, "I didn't mean for it to happen, but I don't regret it either."

Enid sees the realization dawn in Carol's eyes.

"What are you saying?" Michonne asks carefully.

Enid takes a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant."

Her statement causes the whole table to descend into a shocked silence. Everyone is staring at Enid with wide eyes and gaping mouths like they had all just seen a ghost. Enid fidgets nervously, her heart thundering as she waits for the news to settle in.

Carol is the one who speaks first.

"It's Carl's." She says in a soft whisper. "Isn't it?"

Slowly, Enid nods, and chaos erupts from all around the table. Tears start streaming down Enid's face, and to her great surprise, she was pulled into a hug by none other than Rick Grimes himself.

Once Rick had moved, everyone else rushed forward. In moments the whole table was surrounding Enid, where she was still being held by Rick - who she was pretty sure had started crying.

Eventually, everyone managed to calm down, moving back to give Enid some space. Maggie pretty much forced her back into her seat, which was probably a smart move, seeing as Enid was starting to feel very lightheaded.

Rick kept a hand on her back as he sat back down. His hands were shaking, she realized after a few moments, she supposed she couldn't blame him, hers were shaking too.

"That means your what, three months pregnant?" Aaron asks.

She nods. "Around that, yes."

"You should stay here," Rick says quietly. So quietly that Enid almost didn't hear him speak.

Enid blinks slowly, turning to stare at him with widened eyes.

"Huh?"

"I said you should stay here." He repeats, motioning to him and Michonne, who was holding an extremely confused Judith in her arms. "With us."

She exchanges a look with Maggie, before turning back to Rick. "You want me too? Are you sure?"

"Of course I am, you're one of us, Enid. And you're carrying my son's baby, I want you to be safe."

Enid breathes deeply. "Babies, actually."

Silence. There seems to be a lot of that lately.

"What?" Daryl asks, breaking the silence.

"I"m having twins," Enid mumbles.

A crash sounds from where Michonne sat, and a shattered glass lays scattered on the table. Enid winces.

Well.

Fuck.

That just happened.