Hi! I'm back! So, after adding up the poll count, which turned out to be a tie between Soul Shards and Hands and Words are Not for Hurting, I decided I wanted to write Hands and Words. Which is this. The description you guys don't need but know that this is a Percy/Annabeth romance fanfic. Even though in the most part it's a slow build toward them making up.

ALSO- some friends on FF and I have made a role play forum! It's hard to explain, but just look at it and see if it's something you want to do! It's really fun. The link is on my profile for anyone who wants to check it out!

Prologue:

The door slammed behind him moments before Annabeth broke down. She only registered being on the floor, and pain, and that was about it.

She picked herself up about half an hour later, her eyes still bloodshot and her hair a mess, and looked around in the hall. There was no black haired, green eyed boy outside. No sarcastic smirk meeting her eyes. Annabeth closed the door.

She waited another half hour, but he never appeared again. She didn't text him or call him. How could she? This was all her fault. That was what she told herself. It was true.

You fell into Tartarus for me, she cried silently. How can you be gone? And then- Because I told you to go. I shouldn't have, I know.

So Annabeth picked herself up. She went to college, she didn't let herself down until she was at Piper's double dorm with no one in it, and then she cried, and told her the whole story. And then Annabeth got the news.

"Annabeth…Percy's in New York. He's transferred to NYU." Annabeth's world shattered in less than ten words. She barely remembered the next week. Moving what belonged to her in the dorm to Piper's. Giving everything that was Percy's to the nearest Goodwill. He'd never come back for it and he never would. She put him out of her mind. To the very back. Doctor's visits showed she wasn't doing well. She knew she was getting worse. That she was becoming one of them. She couldn't stop herself. Not anymore. It was routine. Piper didn't notice anything. Annabeth told her she was doing better than fine. She was an excellent liar. She didn't blame her for not realizing what Annabeth had done to herself slowly but surely. But Piper had seen the attacks. She knew about the insecurities and anxiety and panic attacks. It was PTSD, but it was worse. And now, without the guy who held her at night and kissed the trouble away, it reared its ugly head and tried its best to destroy her.

And it started succeeding. Annabeth knew she needed to do it. Tell someone. She was planning to. It had been a year since IT. IT had long since passed. Annabeth had told everyone she was over IT. But somehow, everyone she knew, including herself, still referred to it as IT. IT was, after all, a rather big deal. The Seven weren't Seven anymore. They were Six. Percy was the missing one.

Annabeth, however, was fine after IT had happened. That was what everyone knew. Nobody talked to her about IT sympathetically. Piper, Jason, Leo, Hazel, and Frank had been hurt too. IT was a big deal for them too. But they'd adjusted to the absence. IT wasn't such a big deal anymore, really.

Really, she barely remembered IT anymore. She thought about it often still…how could you not? How could you not remember the loss of the person who meant the most and did the most for you?

"You know what, Percy? I'm done with this. I just- I just can't do it anymore. I can't argue with you and fight with you anymore!" Annabeth watched Percy's eyes turn cold. Almost…satisfied, maybe. She wasn't sure what she was doing, but she kept going. "Get out." Her voice died away as she rebelled. Why was she? But all Annabeth could think about was how angry she was. Why, she didn't even know, but she was angry. This was a long time coming, after all. They'd been failing at a relationship for a few weeks, maybe even months.

"Fine. You want me to leave? I'll leave. Sure. Of course. This is so unlike you Annabeth. When something doesn't work for you, you keep going. I guess I didn't mean enough, huh?"

"No, that's not-" Percy slammed the door, and Annabeth broke down crying.

That was the only memory Annabeth had left. She remembered the good moments often. The tender nights, and cuddling, and dates at Coney Island and hanging out with the Seven. College ruined them. Percy was working hard to get everything done, because he had a little left over from high school. Annabeth's architecture course was grueling but was helping…but they had no time for each other like they did in high school, when Annabeth studied with Percy every day. But they didn't have that time anymore, and it had torn them apart.

Annabeth's POV:

Annabeth opened the door, blinking blearily, unable to make out the features of the visitor. Her vision cleared and she almost had a heart attack when she saw the black hair and the green eyes.

Percy Jackson stood in front of his door; his hand still raised in a knock. Annabeth stared at him for a moment, heart and mind racing. Then she took in a deep breath.

"I'm- I'm looking for Piper." Percy stammered. He stared at her for a moment and looked away. Annabeth did the same. "I told her I'd be coming today-" Annabeth closed the door and yelled for Piper.

"What did you do?" Annabeth grabbed the collar of Piper's shirt and pulled her in close. "Why is he here?" Piper's eyes widened in panic, and Annabeth would've laughed had the fire in her heart not been set ablaze once more. She'd wondered for a year now whether she still loved Percy Jackson. And now, thinking about the pain and the…itch…in her heart, she had her answer. It was a yes, and because of IT, she couldn't do anything. She couldn't do anything to help it.

Piper opened the door. Annabeth sat on the couch while they talked, and when Percy was invited in, went to her room but listened to the conversation.

"I didn't think- I'm sorry-" That was Percy. Already being the old friend of Piper's he was. Already falling into the old groove of the Seven. The Six switched a person…Percy's taking my place while he's here. That much, that much is obvious. They'll miss him, of course. But he'll go soon.

She wasn't sure why she felt this way. She knew it had been her who broke it up. She couldn't do it anymore; she'd been with Percy for so many years she couldn't keep doing it. Not after three years of a serious relationship of herself and Percy. She just…just couldn't.

"No. It's fine, I should've told Annabeth that you would be coming over, I just didn't think it would happen this way…I guess I…I guess I just hoped…" Annabeth paused. Piper never spoke about Percy to her. It was always very cautious, it at all.

"…Pipes…not going to happen. I'm not sure if Annabeth told you she broke it off…but she was glaring at me as soon as she saw me. I can't speak for her, but…I mean…I miss it. But it's over. It's been a year." Percy sighed heavily. "We're…done, Piper. Annabeth told me to get out, and I did, and she looked just fine.

"She did tell me. And why, and…I guess…it's just sad. Annabeth's never been the same, you know." Annabeth slipped out of the kitchen for a bagel but froze.

"Do you have any blueberry-" Percy stopped as he saw Annabeth, with the cinnamon raisin bagel in her hand. "Oh, nevermind." He backtracked quickly. "Sorry. Um, I'll just-" Annabeth almost ran back into her room to hide. She couldn't face him. Not now. Not after IT.

She spent her morning in the bathroom in routine. The regular, really. She felt faint, but…so what? She'd faced worse than a little nausea and dizziness. It was the routine from what she'd done to herself. She felt worse today, but…she'd be fine. It wasn't like it had never happened.

Annabeth swallowed ibuprofen and went on her way to coffee with Frank and Hazel. It was a biweekly thing. She didn't expect Percy in her spot, and Hazel's face showed guilt and a little sadness as she waved Annabeth over, who trudged up reluctantly. Percy looked uncomfortable. She was uncomfortable…very much so- this was her ex who she'd loved with all her heart.

"Yes, Hazel?" the African American demigod realized what a bad idea she'd just acted upon and looked ashamed. "I see you two are occupied for today. I- I'll go, we can reschedule in a few days, okay?" One look at Hazel's face told her. They were going to spend all their time with Percy.

"Never mind," Annabeth said tightly, backing away. "I see. You should spend time with him. He was your friend first, after all." Annabeth walked out of the coffee shop before looking back.

Annabeth had the same thing happen to her all day. The next day, too. The other Seven were all with Percy, and, with their history, Annabeth was in no mood to 'hang' with him, as Leo had suggested to her. Annabeth had snapped at him, walked away, and had a slight panic attack. PTSD had literally ruined her. Piper found her, in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, unable to escape her own mind.

Annabeth was just glad it wasn't Percy. He stayed over at Jason's the night Annabeth had planned to have a movie night with the rest of the Six. He was at Piper's and Annabeth's most mornings, and at coffee with Hazel and Frank getting a steaming mug of blue hot chocolate most afternoons. Leo and Calypso were there in the evenings. Everyone wanted Percy.

Do they not like me enough? Am I not enough for them?

Don't be an idiot, Annabeth. It's only natural they'll miss Percy. He's their friend too after all. He left with no warning…and it was all you.

But it doesn't mean they need to freeze me out in return…

It's not like they mean to.

But they do all the same.

It went on for a while. Annabeth escaped it eventually. She hated herself, hated how weak and pitiful she'd become, to have been found by Piper rocking back and forth on her knees, dying on the inside. She was only glad that no one knew about…it. It wasn't IT, but it was an it. If the others knew about this…Annabeth was glad she didn't go to parties anymore. She couldn't…just couldn't do it, not anymore.

Not after IT, when she got so insecure and developed anxiety and it. It just wasn't going to happen, not anymore.

A lot of things that had happened with Percy didn't happen anymore. Not anymore. She couldn't go out in large crowds of mortals or fight in front of others. Because in the crowds, Percy had held her hand, and in the fights, Percy was cheering her on from the stands or he was the opponent.

And he wasn't anymore, and Annabeth couldn't do it anymore. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, and tried not to hurt herself, and tried so many things that didn't work it was almost funny.

As long as you don't give yourself a relapse, you can keep doing it. Keep pushing against a relapse, and you can keep doing this to yourself. No one knew about Annabeth's lapse of consciousness six months ago, except for Nico and Will, who'd been there. They'd kept quiet, and had only warned Annabeth not to relapse, seeing that they couldn't stop her. Good, too.

Okay! So that was chapter one of 'Hands and Words are Not for Hurting'! Leave a review and tell me what you think!