A/N: Happy October! To celebrate, here's Part 1 of a short horror-comedy where a Lego Super Mario toy turns evil and goes on a killing spree. Enjoy!
I do not own Mario or his Lego counterpart.
For too long, people have disrespected me. Mistreated me. And I have had enough. It is time for vengeance.
One Sunday afternoon, John invited his friends Tom, Dick, and Harry to his house to watch Sunday Night Football. All of them were bachelors in their mid-20s, and John had never outgrown Legos, still collecting nearly every set that was released that he thought looked cool. He was proudest of his Lego Super Mario collection, which consisted of every set in the line that had been released. In fact, it took up half of his entire living room, on a display in front of the windows that John spent as much time detailing as some people spend constructing a train table. In the time he spent playing with the Lego Mario sets, however, John had become no better at balancing Lego Mario on platforms such as lifts, and every time he placed Mario on one of them, the large Lego figure always fell off and became dazed.
So that day, John invited his friend to come over and be there about a half-hour before the football game started so that he could show his friends his new sets, Bowser's Airship and Reznor Knockdown. Tom, Dick, and Harry were eager to see the new sets as well.
Oh, John, you fool. You drop me off lifts and make me grab Poison Mushrooms and land on Amps and Chain Chomps all day long and don't feel bad about it one bit. We'll see how you like it when I'm the one in charge.
That evening at around 7:30, John's friends arrived, and he immediately showed them to the Lego Mario display. After traversing a grasslands area and a lake, a cannon shot Lego Mario into Lakitu's realm in the sky, from where Mario did battle with Bowser Jr. on the airship. Then he fell back to the ground and went through a desert and a poison swamp before reaching Bowser's Castle.
"Man, this is awesome," Harry said. "I've always thought these sets looked cool, but never had enough money to buy this many. They're way too expensive."
"I know, right?" Tom said. "Well, let's go downstairs. The game should be starting in a few minutes." He swung his arm towards the basement, unintentionally knocking Lego Mario to the floor as he did so. "Whoops," he said, picking up the toy. "Sorry about that." He pressed Lego Mario's power button and saw that he was working fine. "He's okay," Tom said.
"Even if he stopped working, I have Lego Luigi now," John said. "I mean, not that I want Mario to break, but there's sort of a…backup there."
You don't even care about me anymore now that you have my inferior brother. Well, he won't be here much longer, and neither will any of you ungrateful jerks.
About an hour and a half later, at halftime, Tom declared, "Well, I've gotta take a whiz. Had quite a bit to drink so far tonight." He walked up the stairs and entered the bathroom, turned on the lights, and relieved himself. But once he turned around, he saw Lego Mario standing on the counter, turned off, holding a nail file in his right hand.
"Oh, whew," Tom sighed. "Who the hell put you in here? John? Dick? What's this supposed to be, some sort of prank?" Tom went to pick up Lego Mario, but suddenly the toy turned on. Tom stumbled backwards in shock, almost tripping and falling when he ran into the toilet.
And then he became terrified when, instead of, "Lego Mario time!" Lego Mario said, "Lego murderer time!"
"Wh-what did you just say?" Tom asked.
"I just need to pee too," Lego Mario said, and then a spray of battery acid flew from his overalls and into Tom's face.
"AAAAGH!" he screamed in pain, running over to the sink to flush out his eyes. But before he could even reach the faucet, Lego Mario jammed the nail file into his throat. Tom fell to the floor as blood from his neck pooled around him.
Lego Mario chuckled, "Who's next?"
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! I'll post a new chapter each Friday in October, so come back next week for Part 2! Until then, I'd love to get a review!