she's just another girl (don't let her stick it to your heart so hard)
~Now Yelena's getting married in the blink of an eye
I got an invitation, but I didn't reply
Tell my little "sister" that I put down the gloves
And give her all of my love~
Natasha Romanov gets a wedding invitation in the mail.
The invitation is sitting on the kitchen counter. No matter how many time Natasha Romanov closes and opens her eyes, it doesn't go away. The silver and lavender lining shimmers in the evening sun bleeding through the windows of her high rise (courtesy of Tony Stark, of course. How far they've come).
Yelena Belova is getting married.
Natasha swears the room has shrunk to half its size. Her vision swims, tears brimming, as she clutches the kitchen counter. The invitation arrived in her P.O. box Pepper Potts has set up for her, and all the others so their fans could send stuff, at least a month ago, and she'd retrieved the growing pile earlier in the week, but it didn't matter. There was no getting used to the sickening colored foil staring up at her while she drinks her morning coffee or evening vodka. But there was no shredding it, either. She didn't have the heart to get rid of more proof that Yelena hadn't blipped. (Natasha did her research, of course, but nothing compares to tracing that loping cursive.)
The "RSVP by" date was over a month ago. The wedding is tomorrow. She almost expects her phone to ring, to hear her not-sister's lullaby voice, her not-mother, Melina's voice scolding her for her tardiness. Hell, even her not-father, Alexi, trying to bribe her into showing her face. But it never does. How could it? She never gave them a private and direct way to reach her when she left the wreckage of the Red Room. She'd forgotten entirely about the PR stunt until Pepper's assistant called to tell her her PO box was overflowing.
She waits until the tears stop trickling down her cheeks to pour herself five fingers of vodka and walks out of her kitchen into her living room, bottle in her other hand, design also courtesy of Tony Stark. There's an electric fireplace, with a mantel lined of pictures. She starts at the left end. There's Clint, holding her nephew, Nathaniel, a few days after his birth, with Cooper and Lila grinning at his side (Laura was behind the camera). There's her, dressed in her best tux, as Clint's best woman at his and Laura's wedding. Maria Hill drawing a "middle finger" on a drunk and passed out Nick Fury at Tony's annual holiday party. Sam Wilson throwing up after a pie eating contest with Steve Rogers and Thor. Tony Stark and Pepper Potts opening their wedding gift from Natasha. Wanda Maximoff, Vision, Sam, James Rhodey during Avenger training. Her and Bruce at another Christmas party. These memories steady her and she grins, the vodka slowly hitting her bloodstream, though she misses so many of those faces. The pain comes at the right end of the mantel.
Melina and Alexi, back when they were undercover as her and Yelena's parents, grinning at each other. The goofy pictures Natasha and Yelena used to take at their favorite childhood mall. Then, the last one of them together, before Natasha "graduated" from the Widow program, bruised and a bit bloody, but still managing a smile, cheek to cheek. They had been made to spar, which in and of itself wasn't unusual, but Dreykov was personally overseeing the spar, and kept pushing. They weren't allowed to stop until they drew blood. Natasha takes one last swallow from her glass, empty too soon, as that day sweeps her off her feet, sinking to the floor.
Natasha and Yelena in the shower, the older woman carefully washing blood from Yelena's hairline, wincing at every twitch of pain she could see in the blonde's eyes.
"I am so sorry, мой котик," Natasha whispered, pressing a kiss to the clean cut.
Yelena scoffed, "I should be apologizing, мой паук. You should see your own face." Natasha rolled her eyes playfully, ignoring the pain from the bruise blooming underneath one. They both smiled softly at each other, blush visible on their pale cheeks, as the hot water raining over them ran out and turned tepid. "So are you going to let me fix your hair, or are you just going to keep smiling at me like a lovestruck idiot?" Yelena teased, and Natasha turned to face the wall. Lithe fingers stroked threw her hair, gently scratched at her scalp, and soft lips pressed a gentle kiss to the nape of her neck. Even there, in the middle of hell, they created a heaven for themselves.
Later that night, Yelena's head popped up over the railing of Natasha's top bunk, and even in the dark Widow bunk room, Natasha could tell the younger woman's eyes were wide with the fear of a nightmare. They tried not to share a bed (they failed miserably, but their bunk mates were too terrified to question anything) but sometimes it couldn't be helped. "Bad dream, мой котик?" Natasha asked, and Yelena wordlessly pulled herself up into Natasha's bed and curled up, burying her face in Natasha's pillow. She slid her fingers into those blonde locks, stroking softly, until she felt the woman's breath deepen and even out. She fell asleep with her nose pressed to Yelena's shoulder, breathing her in. First love never really dies, does it?
Natasha leans back against the cool glass of the fireplace, trying to ground herself again. Yelena. Getting married. To… some man Natasha's never even met. Sure, she hasn't seen her "parents" and Yelena since they parted ways, but… a part of her always assumed that Natasha would be waiting at the end of the aisle for Yelena.
Their last kiss, when Yelena was a tangle of parachute chords and badly broken falls, burns now, six years later. "We're both upside down," Yelena mumbles, coughing. Natasha's blood roared as she tugged the younger woman rightside up and kissed her on her blood-stained lips, drinking her in. It was long overdue since their reunion, and it made her heart soar as Yelena's hands cupped her face back, kissed her back with just as much fire and need. "What took you so long?" Yelena reprimanded, pain forgotten as they both pulled themselves to their feet. "I wasn't… I wasn't sure you still wanted…" Natasha started, eyes searching those beautiful honey eyes, "Still wanted me." Yelena rolled those golden eyes and jabbed her in her very bruised shoulder.
"Don't be stupid, мой паук. Always."
Natasha had forgotten what it felt like for her heart to be whole. "Forever, мой котик."
Well. It seems that 2008 song was right. Always and forever is such a long and lonely time.
Natasha tips the still half-full bottle to her lips, lets the drink fill her. She can't help but laugh at herself. She just needs a pint of ice cream and a shitty romcom and she's every heartbroken stereotype. And that's just not her. She pulls her cellphone out of her pocket and dials with practiced memorization.
"Natasha, hi!" Pepper's voice sings, "How are you?"
"I've been better, Pepper," she chuckles, careful to keep any slurring at bay.
"Oh, dear," the woman's voice goes tense, immediately into "worried mother" mode.
"Ah, don't sweat it. Listen, Pepper, I hate to cut straight to the chase but I need to borrow a jet. I've got a wedding to crash."
That was one way to phrase it. She didn't think "kill a (probably) innocent man that I've never met just because the woman I love but haven't spoken to in six years -and oh yeah, did I mention we were raised together, found out we weren't even related, and then put through hell together- decided to get married" would fly. Better to stick with the less complicated, and less bloody, version.
It's surprisingly too easy. Viktor Ivanov looks like he hasn't seen a dumbbell in his life, let alone a trained assassin, the Black Widow. Fanny, Yelena's dog, doesn't even bark when she spots Natasha, silently entering what she's sussed out as the groom's chamber. Natasha scratches the dog's ears for a second, receives her wet kisses with as much dignity as she can, then freezes when she hears footsteps. "Fanny, go find Yelena," she whispers to the furry beast, and the dog trots dutifully out the open door just as Yelena's "husband-to-be" strides in, then stops dead when he spots Natasha leaning against the window.
"Close the door, Ivanov," she spits, and takes in the fear filling his eyes. Ah, so he has heard of her.
"Ms. Romanov," he manages, fiddling with his dress shirt collar, "Yelena said you… didn't RSVP."
Natasha scoffs. "I don't need an RSVP to this wedding." She pushes off the window and stalks towards him, sliding her widow's bite taser out of her vest pocket. His eyes spot this and he backs towards the door. "It's supposed to be mine," she adds, reaching out with her leg, knocking him to the ground with an effortless sweep, "I didn't see your name on the guest list. Apologies, but you'll have to vacate the premises." She jabs the bite into his ribs and, really it's laughable at how fast he passes out. She yanks the bandana out of her hair and gags him, then pulls a coil of rope out of another pocket. Yelena was right. The pockets are incredible. The man Yelena deemed "worthy" enough to marry, down without a fight. She drags him to the closet and shuts him in. He'll be fine. Just. Confused.
Melina's voice ears and she springs to her feet, opening the window as her not-mother knocks on the door and calls, "Viktor?" She slides out silently and slinks into the bushes, making sure the coast is clear before she makes her way across the vast lavender field to her bike. Yelena doesn't know where she lives, but she meows where Yelena lives. All she has to do is go. Wait. Yelena will know, of course. Yelena will come. Natasha tells herself that over the rush of wind past her ears as she drives away from the chapel.
Yelena's cabin is cozier than Natasha expects. There's a log fireplace, and there on the mantel, smack dab in the middle, is the same picture of them. Bruised and a bit bloody. Cheek to cheek. She crosses to it, face flushed, and runs a nail over the soft grain wood frame. The picture next to it is of Yelena and Victor at what looks like a dinner with Melina and Alexi. Yelena's smile is strained. Natasha turns the picture face down.
The hours trickle by agonizingly slow, but Natasha refuses to panic. She busies herself by going over every inch of Yelena's cabin, learning about the woman she had become in their six years apart, finding the Yelena she always knew in bits and bobs scattered around. She finds a worn, dog-eared book, cover coffee stained, and curls into the chair by the fireplace. She reads what is Yelena's favorite book. She waits.
The sun sinks behind the hills when headlights flood the cabin living room. Natasha smiles in the dark, tucks the book between the pillows. She'd know those footsteps on the stairs anywhere. The door opens slowly. And there she is again. Awash with the last strains of pinks and reds of the setting sun.
"мой котик," Natasha murmurs, getting to her feet. Yelena slams the door behind her. "What?" she adds, "You didn't like my wedding gift?"
"You gagged my fiancé and left him in the closet!" the younger woman shouts, stalking forward. She lets her eyes climb her body, clothed in pale pink. What a beautiful bride. Yelena stops inches away, scowling. Natasha cocks her head.
"You were making a mistake, мой котик." She reaches out, fingertips brushing over Yelena's left bicep. Yelena just looks away, chest heaving, so she runs her fingers down to Yelena's hand, massages it out of its clenched fist. There's a distinct lack of cool metal. "Look at me."
Honey gold eyes flash back to hers. "You weren't going to come. You didn't RSVP."
"I wasn't aware I needed an invitation to what should have been our wedding."
Yelena jerks back and takes a few steps back. "Ha!" she snorts, hands reaching to her hair, raking through the manicured curls. "Our wedding. Natasha, you haven't spoken to me in six years."
"We've been estranged longer than that."
"You said 'forever' and then never gave me a way to reach you."
Because everyone I've ever loved gets hurt, she thinks, watching Yelena pace restlessly back and forth across the little room, blinking tears from her eyes. But that never mattered to Yelena. They've hurt each other many times in their youth. And after decades apart, Yelena was more than willing to put her life on the line to help Natasha finally end Dreykov. Yelena had proved time and time again, physical pain was nothing but collateral.
But the emotional hurt… She's seen how this whole Avenger love has worked. Clint and Laura are fine now but that wasn't always the case. Tony and Pepper. Thor and Jane. Steve and Peggy.
But she promised always and forever. And try as hard as she has, there's no one like Yelena out there. And now Natasha is here, smugly admitting she crashed her beloved's wedding because it should be her waiting at the alter. She's done running, isn't she? So she simply says, "That was wrong. I'm sorry." She crosses to Yelena, reaches out and takes her shoulders, pulls her in. Yelena stops breathing as she presses their foreheads together, whispering, "Простите меня, мой котик."
Yelena sucks in a deep breath, lets it out shakily, and nods against Natasha's head. She feels the younger woman's soft hands on her hips, tentative as they trace her outline.
"You're wearing the vest?" The question is filled with awe. Natasha chuckles.
"Of course. I needed a lot of pockets to store my things."
"It looks really good on you." Yelena's hands reach the nape of her neck, fingers curling into read tresses, and tugs her down to close the space between their mouths. It's their first kiss all over again, clumsy and curious. When they break apart, Natasha is breathless, and Yelena has that hungry look in her eyes.
"Take me to bed, мой паук," the blonde purrs.
"On your wedding day, мой котик?" Natasha teases, finding the dress's zipper, pulling down.
"It was never mine. Not without you."
"Mmm, such a sweet talker."
"Shut up."
Natasha does, getting a good grip on the other woman before sweeping her off her feet and carrying her across the threshold of the bedroom.
A/N: This was kinda cruddy and un'betaed (but all my fics are lol) but i really wanted to get something up for this pairing bc I absolutely LOVED BLACK WIDOW OH MY GOD! I have another one on the way, and two more in the works (one's a maybe, one i think im definitely going to finish!) Hope you enjoyed!