"Did you bring it Renny? Did you? Didyoudidyoudidyou?" Nora eagerly bounced.
He nodded once and slowly began pulling items out of a jumbo-sized carry bag.
Nora's bouncing accelerated to near vibration as her impatience steadily got the hang of her.
"You're doing it wrong!" She finally shouted.
She grabbed the bag by the bottom and just up-ended its contents all over the sand.
"I still can't believe Ms. Goodwitch gave us permission to spend today's classes at the beach," Weiss stated.
Nora began digging through the pile, tossing items like sunscreen and dry clothes around haphazardly as she searched for that one special item.
"I mean, surely our studies are of utmost importance. More than a day at the-"
"Wooooooooo!" Nora screamed as she finally found what she was looking for.
The roll of black flappy plastic was flung out like a whip, and the air tube at its end was placed immediately into Nora's mouth. Rapidly the inflatable began to take shape as Nora's powerful lungs did their thing.
"Well aren't you a lucky guy Ren, who'd have thought Nora was that talented at 'blowing' eh?" Yang joked, waggling her eyebrows at anyone who'd validate her.
"Oh, I've known for a while. I found out when we were kids that she loved this kind of thing." Ren calmly and earnestly replied.
The misunderstanding was funny enough for Yang to get over someone not having gotten her joke.
"Yeah, come on Yang. We're all pretty good at it, aren't we?" Ruby asked. "I even learned to do two at once."
She was of course referring to the two arm floaties that she had unpacked and started inflating herself.
"Ruby, no..." I groaned.
"Tadah!" Nora shouted, already finished with the inflation. "Hurry up guys, I'll meet you there!"
She took her giant inflatable nevermore and charged for the ocean. But after a few seconds, despite how fast she pumped her legs, she wasn't making any progress.
"I believe there has been a misunderstanding. You won't be doing any swimming Ms. Valkyrie."
We all turned to see professor Port, doctor Oobleck, and the headmistress Ms. Goodwitch standing behind us with their own oversized carry bag. None of them were dressed for the beach; in fact, it seemed like they were ready for another day of classes.
"You said we could spend today at the beach!" Nora whined as she was dragged back to rejoin the group.
"I said today's classes would be held at the beach," Glynda stressed.
The plug on Nora's nevermore popped, and she deflated in sync with it.
"What?!" Most of us shouted.
"Oh thank god." Weiss sighed in relief.
Yang slugged her in the shoulder, drawing a 'hey!' of protest from the petite girl.
"We will be holding a series of battle simulations to test your ability to operate in a variety of fields. Vacuo is home to Grimm and bandit alike, and you will all one day take a mission there. Consider this no different to our excursions to the Forever Fall forest." Glynda stated. "Oh, and before you ask. You are being graded on this."
We all groaned. Not only had our day been ruined, but we were probably all getting detention for the bad grades that were coming. We hadn't even brought our weapons!
"Wait, where are team CRDL?" Blake asked.
"They are working with some of the other professor's such as professor Peach."
"Who?" I asked.
"Nevermind that. Just take ten minutes to plan amongst yourselves while we prepare for today's activities." Glynda ordered.
She and the other two professors –
"'Doctor', thank you very much!" doctor Oobleck insisted.
She, the professor, and the doctor took their pack and left, leaving us alone on a beach.
Well... as alone as we could be on a public beach anyway.
"This is bullsh-" Nora just about screamed.
"-She sure does take her work seriously. Ms. Goodwitch I mean." Ren interrupted.
"Bullsh-" Nora tried again.
"-Should we get a move on?" Ren asked, interrupting her again.
"Ren you rat bast-"
"-Tardiness is bad."
"Stop interrupting me while I'm trying to f-"
"-Fudge."
"-with the age rating on this fic."
"Wait what?" I asked.
"Nevermind..." She growled.
"So, what now?" Pyrrha asked.
"I don't know... I wanted to surf with Nessie." Nora sadly replied.
"I have to admit, I was looking forward to digging a big hole," Ren admitted. "No beach trip is complete without a big hole."
"I wanted to try and break my record of 'guys who I rejected' in a single day," Yang added.
"Girls like you are the worst," I stated in honor of all the men who'd been rejected by hot chicks on the beach.
Pyrrha gently patted me on the back, leaving her hand a bit longer than what was perhaps normal. She'd need to be careful about that with other boys. I know she doesn't have much experience, but if I didn't know better, I could get the wrong idea.
"Suck it up Vomit-boy." She replied mercilessly. "You're doing fine, aren't you?"
I wasn't sure what she meant by that.
"If you guys are that upset about it, why don't we just give Ms. Goodwitch what she wants?" Blake suggested.
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Weiss asked and most of us mirrored her.
"She wants a battle, right? Well, let's give her a battle." She determinedly stated. "It's not like this is the first time I've taken the fight to an oppressive dictatorship anyway."
On an ordinary day, this might have concerned us.
But this was a beach episode, and we would not be robbed of our day in the sun.
/-/
"Okay students, gather up," Ms. Goodwitch ordered. "It's time for the first activity."
"You'll have to kill us first!" Blake screamed as she waved a flag of her own creation from atop the castle walls.
"Can I have my hoodie back?" I asked.
"Shut up Jaune." She hissed. "I'm in the middle of revolution."
In the brief time we had been granted, we had all banded together to create what was, in my opinion, one of the greatest sandcastles of all time. It was a masterpiece of teamwork and talent that put all of our unique skillsets to the test.
Pyrrha's Semblance did much of the heavy lifting with her Semblance by using the many beach umbrellas to prop up the sand while we packed and reinforced the walls.
Ren, more than eager to take on the task, had dug a moat that connected the ocean water to our castle, creating a 5ft wide barrier.
Frankly, the speed at which he moved and how natural he looked caked in sand from head to toe was frightening. It was like he belonged down there.
Ruby, using her Semblance, had quickly gathered up all the supplies from Nora's pack that had been thrown everywhere.
And the rest of us had been conscripted by Blake as laborers and infantry.
"Where was I... Right. We won't give up! We won't surrender! The people of Belladonia won't stand for this injustice!" Blake continued to shout as Ms. Goodwitch's frustrations grew.
"Did Blake just name the entire revolution after herself?" Ruby asked.
Yang shrugged.
"You've had your fun, Ms. Belladonna, now, all of you come down from-"
Blake tossed a green plastic bucket down, striking the headmistress in the face.
It of course had no effect other than infuriating the woman due to her aura.
"Right." Said Glynda through gritted teeth.
She waved her hands, summoning a giant magic circle above the entire castle.
"Now hold on Glynda. Let's give the children some credit here. Though made of sand, they have done an excellent job of constructing an ancient Valean motte and keep. It would be unfair of us to tear down such a structure without at least humoring their efforts." Doctor Oobleck suggested.
"What do you suggest we do then?" She replied.
"How about a touch of diplomacy? Let me try speaking with them, get on their wavelength. Oftentimes, conflict is not as necessary as it seems in the moment. History has taught us that much."
She hesitantly withdrew her Semblance.
"Very well then." She relented.
"Now, the very first step in building a bridge between nations is to be accepting of their culture. Fortunately, I came prepared."
The doctor stripped out of his white button-up and pulled off his trousers revealing a pair of floral shorts.
"Oh, great people of Belladonia-"
"Oh god, he's going with the name." I groaned.
"Is it too late to change our name?" Yang asked. "We could've picked something cool like Dragon's Keep."
"Can we all agree not to suggest names that blatantly favor a single person?" I suggested.
"Guys," Ruby interrupted. "The professor has been talking this entire time."
"-And so, let us come together in the name of unification and peace. Let us not make the mistakes of our ancestors and submit to our baser desires-"
"Boo! No teachers allowed!" Nora shouted throwing a small plastic trowel at the process.
The lethal instrument of war bounced off of the professor's chest mid-speech, and he stopped in an instant.
"Gah! Arrgh! I've been hit!" He shouted, grasping at his chest. "Negotiations have failed! There can be no communicating with these savages..."
"Nora, how hard did you throw that thing?" Pyrrha asked in a panic.
"It's made of plastic Pyrrha!" Nora refuted.
"The pain! The pain..." The professor wailed as he fell to the ground. He craned his neck and reached toward his colleagues. "Avenge me. Put an end to this terrible war..."
"He's quite the good actor, don't you think?" Professor Port asked.
"He's just terrific." Ms. Goodwitch monotoned. "Negotiations failed though, time to end this."
Once more the magic circle blanketed the sky and storm clouds began to gather around it.
"Arrghhh..." Doctor Oobleck continued. "Avenge me, but not like that..."
"Come now Glynda, the man has his heart in this. It would be cruel to ignore that." Port insisted. "Let me try next."
The stout professor reached into the paradoxically large carry bag, and from it, he pulled his weapon for this battle.
A portable grill and a cooler of steaks and sausages.
"We face a disadvantageous battle where the enemy has both the numbers and positional advantage. So, as instructors, we must use our own advantage. Our wits." He smugly declared.
"And your wits have led you to... a barbeque?" Glynda asked, in apparent disbelief.
"Indubitably. This is a siege, Glynda. And we shan't win this battle by throwing ourselves upon the castle walls. But by outlasting them." He twirled his mustache and nodded at his speech. "We shall smoke them out.
We watched from a distance as the professor slowly – painfully slowly – set up the grill.
"Plug this in here, turn the nozzle, yes very good, that's the gas sorted. Now, where did I put my tongs?" He muttered to himself.
"We just ate!" Weiss shouted. "Your plan won't work!"
"Oh, so you didn't learn your lesson yet huh? I guess burying you up to your neck in the sand wasn't enough to teach you not to try and betray us Ice Queen." Said Blake.
"Classwork is important! We must get good grades!" She squirmed. "I've never had a detention in my life!"
Blake placed a bucket over her head, condemning her to live in the dark and just barely muffling the sound of her complaints.
"Let this be a lesson to all of you. Belladonia does not take kindly to traitors." She threatened.
Looking back over the walls, we could see the professor had finally managed to get the meat on the grill. It seems he wasn't deterred in the slightest by the knowledge his plan wouldn't sway us.
"Do you smell that Glynda? That's the smell of victory!" He cheered. "Now we only have to wait a few minutes and we can have our victory feast."
"Wait, we can't let him have a victory feast. If he has a victory feast, that means he's won!" Nora suddenly shouted.
"That's not how that works at all though?" I replied, but I could see she hadn't been listening.
"We must unleash the tunnel rat upon them! Go my precious, steal victory from the enemy. Steal it from right beneath them!" She continued to shout.
It was at that moment that most of us realized...
We hadn't seen Ren in a while.
"Just you wait Glynda, these steaks are premium quality. I bought them myself you know." Port bragged.
He strutted around nodding to himself with his eyes closed.
"Peter, I couldn't care less about your stupid steaks. Can't you see none of them care? Ms. Schnee said as much." Glynda chastised, watching as the shorter man did his victory lap.
"Nonsense! Bitter lies from a defeated foe and nothing more. Now, I believe it has been long enough to flip the-"
The grill was gone.
Professor Port sniffed loudly and locked eyes with the castle, just as Ren crawled out of the tunnel system equipped with the grill and all of the food that came with it.
"Don't worry guys, I collapsed the tunnel on my way back. It was a sacrifice to be sure, but I'm sure number thirty-three would be happy to know he was a hero." Ren explained.
"You named your tunnels?" I asked.
"You have thirty-three of them?" Pyrrha also asked.
"Of course not silly, there are hundreds of pathways down there. Isn't that right Renny?" Nora explained.
"I knew you'd get it." Ren nodded sagely.
"My meat!" Professor Port shouted. "I won't tolerate this! That's my meat!"
"Christ, the professor really takes his meat seriously. He sounds like he's about to throw down." Yang commented.
"Aaaaargh!" Blake screamed as she collapsed from the wall above and fell to the ground. "Th-that's not the only thing he is throwing down..."
Against my better judgment, I looked up over the wall.
Professor Port had stripped his clothes, much like the doctor before him. And just like the doctor, he also had his beach attire.
Unlike the doctor though, professor Port was wearing the smallest pair of speedos I'd ever seen.
Not that you could even see them beneath the many many rolls of fat that hung down over his legs.
"Port, think of the children! I want them serious about study, not traumatized." Ms. Goodwitch begged. "If not them, think of me at least and put your clothes back on!"
"Not this time Glynda. These children have taken things too far." He replied, deadly serious as he reached into the pack of supplies for today's activities.
"The fun and games end now."
From the pack, he pulled a trench shovel, and he wielded it intending to bring the castle walls down.
Without a word of warning, he began to sprint toward us. Horrendous flaps of flesh bounced and jiggled as the man practically rolled at us at a pace that was impressive for a man of his build.
"The professor is coming for us!" I warned. "He intends to bring the walls down!"
"We must not let him! Shoot him, Ruby! Shoot him!" Blake ordered, still rubbing the image from her eyes with balled-up fists.
Ruby climbed to the top of the wall, cringing at the sight and she began releasing volley after volley from the professor.
Her well-placed shots splashed off of the professor's natural armor, barely slowing him at all.
"What are you doing Ruby! Take him down!" Blake cried desperately.
"I have a water pistol, Blake!" Ruby complained.
"It's too late..." I muttered as the professor drew nearer.
The professor held his weapon high above his head as he closed in on the castle's moat.
He leaped as far as his powerful legs could take him.
And he landed no more than three feet into the moat.
The water in his general vicinity was displaced, spraying upwards like a geyser. But where space had been made, the water soon came crashing in.
Two colossal waves collided and the resulting splash soaked the walls and brought them crumbling down onto the professor, burying him.
"Useless..." Glynda muttered. "I should have just gone with my plan from the start."
"Belladonia has fallen! Light the beacons! We must call for aid!" she screamed.
"We didn't install any beacons, what are you talking about?" Yang asked.
"I let your sister read the books I keep hidden under my bed," Blake replied.
Yang's hair burst into flames.
"You what?!"
"Blake! You promised not to tell!" Ruby whined.
"The beacons are lit! Belladonia must-"
A purple aura wrapped around Blake and slammed her into the ground, muffling her screams in the sand.
"That's enough from you Ms. Belladonna. We'll be talking about your rampant extremism later and how it violates several of the promises you made when you first arrived here." Glynda monotoned. "Now, if the rest of you will calmly surrender, I promise your detentions will be-"
"Book it!" Nora shouted.
We needed no further trigger than that before we all took off down the forest.
Ruby was instantly taken out of commission by an animated beach towel. Wrapped up like a cocoon, all she could do was scream as the professor tossed her onto Blake.
"Ruby!" Yang screamed as her eyes turned blood red.
She doubled back, leaping over the walls of the destroyed sand fortress, aiming to gain the high ground.
But something caught her foot.
"I got her professor! I did good, so I don't need to be given detention right?" Weiss shouted, revealing that she had broken free of her sandy prison.
"We train you to work as a team, not to follow orders blindly." The professor replied as she shoved the fortress walls over, burying them both.
"We can escape her underground, it's safe there," Ren stated as he dove into a nearby opening.
Nora instantly followed him, but before I could the tunnels collapsed, burying them too.
"You're the last two left Mr. Arc, Ms. Nikos. Cooperate and you'll – oof!" the professor warned before Pyrrha launched a beach umbrella at her like a spear.
Pyrrha began to ramp up the use of her Semblance as we both continued to run from the increasingly enraged professor. Coins and bottle caps and lost rings from the sand were detected and railgunned at the professor before ricocheting off her barrier.
"Pyrrha, you're just making her angry. Maybe we should give up?" I suggested.
"I've never given up on a fight in my life." Pyrrha confidently replied. "If we try our hardest, I'm sure we can-"
The professor picked her up and threw her into the ocean.
"Learn to give up when you're outmatched Ms. Nikos, it might save your life one day." The professor advised. "As for you Mr. Arc..."
"Not so fast Glynda."
I turned and looked to the hills that overlooked the beach.
"Oz..." Glynda warned.
He was casually sipping on a coconut through a straw as he approached.
"I think the students have suffered enough, don't you?" he asked.
"No, they've turned today's training activities into a joke." She replied.
"On the contrary, they've built fortifications, fended off a siege. Why I'm quite impressed by Lie Ren's talent with a spade." He argued. "I'd say, with all of this in addition to the way Ms. Nikos tried to fight you off, they've more than done their share of the planned activities."
"Oz, stop trying to explain away their bad behavior. I will not have this wrapped up nicely like it always is."
"Name one time I've done that-"
"Ms. Belladonna picked a fight with a known criminal and blew up millions of Lien worth of dust at the docks."
"A well fought battle in pursuit of justice," Oz replied.
"Mr. Arc cheated his way in by forging his transcripts."
"Who am I to deny a young man his dream, besides, he has more than proved his worth now, right?"
Glynda fumed.
"You caused one of the best teams to ever graduate Beacon to split up by manipulating them far more than was necessary."
"Noone liked Raven anyway... Regardless, I'm calling an official ending to this beach episode. Until next time, readers."
"Ozpin no!" Glynda shouted.
"Beach episode?" I asked. "Readers?"
The professor slurped his drink knowingly as his students unearthed themselves.