Prelude:

This is an alternative universe ending to New Moon, mostly from Bellas perspective. Taking place after returning from Volterra to rescue Edward. This is a finished story that will contain a regular posting of about 20 chapters. Rated T based on themes referenced including violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes - This rating was chosen considering that similar themes are presented in the Stephanie Meyers books as young audibly reading level novels and aims to match a similar writing style.

Chapter 1 Back from Italy

Bella's House: Bella's Perspective

Leaving Volterra felt like a complete blur. I didn't speak to Edward since our interaction with the Volturi. Exhausted and drained, I tried to stay clear headed. Numbed by everything I had seen and experienced I kept focusing on my breathing and tried to ignore the lump in my throat and knot in my stomach being close to Edward again. I could feel the distance between us, I could feel him brush against me each time we were close. But I was grateful he avoided closing the distance.

Before I knew it, we finally got off the plane and drove to my house. It was a dark shadowy Saturday night, the roads were empty. As Alice pulled up, Edward opened the door for me. He motioned, and I could tell he wanted to carry me in but I shrugged him off, standing on my own two feet.

"I'm good thanks." Trying to be nonchalant, I closed the car door behind me and looked at him. "Night."

Pulling my backpack onto my shoulders, I took a deep breath, bracing myself for facing Charlie. Edward disappeared. Once again, I was on my own. Opening the front door and heard another car door open, Alice was right behind me. Skipping to my side with her pixie hair cut bouncing at her ears.

The lump in my throat grew, I bit my lip as she walked beside me. "You didn't think I'd let you save Edward and then not have an excuse do you?" She said matter-of-factly.

I frowned, "What could we possibly tell him? I just took off with a quick note."

Alice shrugged, "Family emergency? Something close to the truth."

I opened the door and found Charlie still up. Immediately, he rushed over, "Where have you been? I've been so worried-"

"Charlie I am so sorry-" Alice began,
"I'm sorry I scared you." I sighed. I gave him a hug and felt him hesitate to return the hug.

"Why did you disappear like that? What happened." He searched our faces for an explanation

"I had a family emergency." Alice said, looking sincere and sad, "My brother had a medical emergency and I asked Bella to come with me."

Charlie's eyes squinted. "Edward?"

I flinched at his naming before I could stop myself. Of course Charlie was quick to notice

"Why would you run to him after all the shit he put you through-"

"It seemed like life or death." I said quietly

"Where were you?" He asked brow furrowed in confusion.

"With my relatives in Alaska." Alice lied smoothly. "We had to run to get there in time, reception is pretty awful in Denali so hard to make phone calls."

Charlie shook his head, "I don't believe this. Just a note, and taking off like that? That's it?"

"I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry." I sighed, this story sounded more ridiculous out loud, "There was an emergency and I ran to help. I know I screwed up. I'm running on like no sleep, can we talk about this in the morning?" I yawned for effect.

He stopped short. Ready to push. Alice maintained her sorrowful gaze. For a second I wondered if Charlie would challenge us, demand more information. But he held back. He sighed shaking his head in disbelief, he looked at Alice.

"Really, Alaska? What happened?"

Alice shrugged, "Bad hiking accident. I think we've had our fill of the wilderness, we thought for sure Edward was going to be fed to the wolves." She bit her lip looking mournful, "I don't know what I'd do without Bella there to help us get through it. He was in such bad shape"

Charlie looked more sympathetic, "Most have been hard on you to go through that. How's Dr. Cullen?"

Alice smiled sadly, "He's relieved, tired. I am just glad everyone's together and safe." She made eye contact with me, I looked right back and kept her gaze. I guess the Cullens were finally reunited.

"Are you ok?" He asked, Charlie looked like he hadn't slept either. I must have scared him badly.

"Just exhausted. Its been a long two days." I felt my eyes drooping,

Charlie patted my shoulder, "Get some rest, we can catch up in the morning."

After hugging Alice good night, I sighed having a feeling I still wasn't alone yet. Taking my time, I went up the stairs and sure enough there was Edward. He sat on the foot of my bed, hands together looking at my with hopeful eyes. I had a feeling he might be waiting for me in my room. For a moment, I longed for him, to be in his arms. Instead I carried my backpack through the door and tried not to look at him.

"I'm not talking about this now." I said quietly, averting my gaze. I dropped my belongings down by my closet, and draped my jacket on my desk chair. He was unmoving, a statute. "It's been a long week and I need time."

He nodded, expressionless

"I want you to leave my room." I said looking at him carefully. Edward's onyx eyes met mine and his lips seperated in shock.

He went paler "But I-"

"When I wake up, I don't want you to be here." I continued stoic and cold. "You should go be with your family."

"But you're my-"

"Please go." I insisted.

He came over and I kept looking him in the eyes. He took my hand in his cold ones. I felt my heart stop, the familiar sparks his hands touching mine hit me hard. I felt torn between wanting to cave and fall into him...and wanting to run.

"You saved me. I thought you were dead. Why don't you want me here? I want to be with you." His voice was velvet soft and hard to tune out.

For a moment I envisioned melting into his arms, feeling his statuesque body holding mine against. The warmth of his tough, the smell of his skin so tempting and close to being mine once again. But this couldn't happen again, I wasn't ready. I tried to shake it off, I just needed him to leave so I could think clearly.

"I need some space." I said carefully, breathing in deeply. "We aren't together anymore. I'm not yours."

His cold hand cupped my cheek and his eyes searched mine. I repressed a shudder, Edward's eyes were dark from thirst. I looked back feeling exhausted and on the brink of sleep. I could feel him trying to soften my hardened expression. I just wanted to be in his arms again. But if I did, it would be impossible to stop. This was wrong.

"You are not mine." I said quietly, looking back at his worried black eyes. Choosing my words carefully, I bit my lip. "You left me. What you did in Italy was reckless and I had to stop you from throwing away your life."

Edward hand gripped mine tighter, "But I love you. I don't want to live without you! Bella I want to be with you."

"No." I cut him off, pulling myself away, he let me go "You've been living without me for months." My voice rose and shook, "You made that choice! What did you think? You'd come back and nothing would change? I'd just be here waiting for you? Grow up!" I was getting angry.

Edward was agonized. His beautiful marble face scrunched as he held his head. "Bella please I was wrong. I want to fix this." He took my face in both hands. "Give me a chance to show you." He looked desperate. "Please."

A beat passed. My heart ached and my head was pounding, blood thudding in my ears. It wasn't right. This wasn't what I wished for after all that happened.

"You can't fix this." I took his hands off my face. I steeled myself and knew I needed to end this. "I can take care of myself. Please give me space." I said adamantly. I walked to the window and opened it wide. "Please go"

Edward looked heartbroken. He looked at me and didn't move for a moment. His warm amber eyes dimmed. The dark shadows under his eyes made him look ghastly and sick. In a stride he was back at my side. Moving slow and carefully.

I ignored the pounding in my head and chest. I could smell him, that sweet warm smell. I tried not to breathe it in. He was trying to read me. I felt him lean into me and kiss my forehead. A shudder went through me and I tried to repress it.

"I'm sorry." Edward whispered. He tipped his cold finger under my chin. "I'm so sorry."His eyes were sad and his lips parted, like there were words he couldn't say but were right there in the air.

I waited and just looked back. There was nothing to say in return. I felt cold and empty. Hollow eyes met hollow eyes. Two people would leave tonight lost and unhappy.

He looked away and released me from his gaze. I fixed my eyes at the ground and heard him slowly walk to the window. He was hoping I'd cave, taking his time so I would hesitate and ask him not to leave me. But I didn't budge. Looking over his shoulder one last time, Edward cringed as he lept out the window.

I moved quickly and shut the window behind him and locked it so he wouldn't come back in. I counted to 100 in my head.

21...22...23

Hopefully enough time would pass for him to truly leave. I needed him to be far enough away that he wouldn't see or hear me cave. Thankfully he couldn't read my mind.

49...50...51

Edward looked different then last time, I thought staying still I examined my cuticles and breathed carefully in and out. He was on edge, his voice was more dramatic and his words were bleaker. Yes, he was still cool and put together but he looked like he took a blow. I guess he really thought I was gone for good, Edward genuinely seemed surprised with me...

78...79...80...

Edwards hands were so cold, so careful with mine, I forgot how it felt to be together. I felt so whole when I was with him, like I was home. But our relationship couldn't continue. Leaving Edward was doing the right thing. If he left me once he could leave again.

98...99...100

The adrenaline was leaving my system, my eyes were tired and strained. Hopefully Edward was far away enough by now. Sleep was calling me, I had barely slept on the plane and I was emotionally drained. I still had one last thing to do before I passed out. I closed the curtains on my window and sat on the edge of my bed.

I sat on the edge of my bed and took out my phone. Finally I opened all the texts from Jacob. There was urgency in his texts, asking me if I was alive, how things were and when would I be back. A text back wouldn't be enough this time.

I hated phone calls but rang Jacob. It rang once...twice...

"Bella?" His voice was gruff from sleep and confused

"Hey Jacob. I'm home." I felt the weariness finally seep back into my voice. "I'm sorry, I really want to catch up-it's been a long week."

"Are you ok? What happened-"

"It's a long story and I'm beat." I sighed. "If you want to come by I would rather talk in person. But I really need some sleep-"

"I'll be there"

"Jacob I-"

He hung up.

My mind was crashing. I didn't want to talk or do anything. The blankets on my bed were so soft. I took off my jacket and curled up on my bed. Just a quick nap...

I was in the meadow. Edward stood in the middle his skin glistening in the sun. He held out his hand to me smiling that crooked smile.

'Not like this' I said taking steps back, 'Not like this'

'You made a deal Bella.' He whispered. The Volturi were all around me 'you will be one of us'

They were closing in, thunder struck loud.

"Not like this." I repeated looking for an escape. "Not like this!"

Edward grabbed my hand and leaned in. 'But it's what you wished for. Aren't you happier this way?'

Thunder struck again.

Edward was in my face his lips at my neck. 'You made a deal.'

"Open up!"

I blinked. I felt weary and hazy.

Tap tap tap

"Bella the window!"

I yawned and realized the thunder in my dream was Jacob. My body felt heavy. My eyes thick with sleep. I felt like I was in a dream as I forced myself towards the window and undid the lock.

A flash of skin and denim sped past me. I felt denim and smelled pine as Jacob wrapped his body around me.

"Oh Jacob." I sighed feeling myself relax. "Thanks for coming." I wrapped my hands around his waist and nuzzled my head into the curve of his shoulder.

Jacob was so warm. I felt my eyes close and barely felt him move me.

"Of course I came" he led me to the bed and looked at me. "What happened? What were you thinking?"

I shrugged "It was hard. It was stupid. But I didn't want him to die." I took his hands. "I got him to stop and come home."

Jacob looked skeptical. "So where is he now?"

"Not sure." I frowned. "Probably not far. He's not here though."

Red cloaks filled my mind as I thought about the Volturi and the deal Edward made. The last 12 hours filled my mind I thought about the rush to get to Italy, diving towards Edward to stop him from being exposed, facing demonic ancient vampires, my long trip home and kicking Edward out.

"Are you going back to him?" Jacob asked. Holding my body tighter, his arms stiffening against me.

I thought for a hard second what he really meant. What answer he wanted to know.

"No, I'm not." I blinked long and hard. "I don't think I could."

Jacob lightened up and sighed, "oh thank god." He hugged me, "thank god!"

"That's not everything though-"

"I don't care."

I shook my head, "I'm in trouble Jacob."

He pulled back. "What kind?"

A cold sweat went down my back. "What Edward did-to save him-the vampires there wanted to kill us." I felt my voice shake. "They wouldn't let me leave without making Edward promise to change me into one of them."

Swallowing hard, I continued, "I thought I'd want it. An eternity with Edward...but things have changed so much." I looked at Jacob's hands and how they covered mine. So warm.

"I can't have that anymore. But they will probably come after me."

Jacob laughed "well it's a good thing you are part of a pack. Vampires and wolves have a long history."

"It's not funny. What am I going to do?"

Jacob half smiled. "You're home. We'll figure it out." He laid down on my bed and put his arms up behind his head. "You coming in? You look ready to drop."

"One second"

I got up and locked the window and closed the curtains. I laid down and curled into his body. His arms wrapped around me.

"He's not going to bother you." Jacob said softly into my hair, "Not tonight."

I nodded. "I know but I need it." His warmth radiated and I felt my eyes drooping.

"Are you really ok?" He asked

"No." I admitted, "but I will be."

He kissed the top of my head. "I know you will."

That Evening at the Cullen Residence: Alice's Perspective

I pinched the bridge of my nose, my head was pounding.

"What does it look like Alice?"

Edward looked deranged. He paced back and forth with fists shoved into his pockets. Eyes dark and ominous from a lack of eating, with dark circles under his eyes.

"I already told you. It's hard to see" I said, exasperated, leaning back into my seat on his old leather couch. It had been hours since we dropped off Bella,

"Try again."

I crossed my arms, frustrated. "You know what I see. You can read my mind."

Edward cupped his head in his hands.

'What did you expect?' I thought, unapologetic, 'You let her go.'

"But Alice. I need her. She needs me."

I shook her head, "You can't force her to choose you. She has to do that on her own." I looked at him carefully. "You really hurt her. You realize that don't you? It's just not enough right now."

"I know." Edward groaned. "But I don't feel ready to give up yet."

I was quiet, fiddling with the edge of my skirt. Drained, I could feel my age catching up to me. Thankfully Jasper was only a few hours away from returning to Forks. I needed a break. "It's possible she still loves you. There's a small chance you can gain her trust. But you can't force it and it would have to be on her terms."

Edward thought about this. "I don't want to be friends."

"Right." I said quietly,

I debated telling him about Jacob, but in the end, what was the point in holding it back? I crossed my arms, resolute, "There's a werewolf she's been spending time with. They are close."

Edward looked up and frowned, "How close?"

"I don't know, like dating?" I shrugged, "Would explain the visions being unclear."

Edward balled his hands into fists "So not only does she not want me...but she's with a werewolf? She can't be! I can't let her be with a werewolf-"

"It's none of your business." I cut him off firmly. "You need to be very careful not to screw this up more. If you interfere she'll definitely never see you."

Edward groaned. "So I have to just wait it out?" He collapsed next to me on the couch agonized.

I wrapped my arm around his shoulders as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "You are over a century old. You've waited this long. You can do this."

Upcoming:

Chapter Two: Back to School

"You can do this." I told myself as I parked the car.

I took my phone out of my backpack and reread the text I received from Alice last night.

'Want to grab lunch tomorrow at school? Can't wait to see your cute blue top at English ;)'

I bit my lip and turned my phone back off. I was relieved Alice gave me a heads up her family was back in town...and back at school. She gave me a chance to mentally prepare to see Edward again...