BAAHHP, BAAHP, BAP. 1:00PM BITCH

Blurted the alarm clock, now that it was 1:00pm, reminding Roadie how fucking depressing his life was, waking up late as shit at 1:00pm. "UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" groaned Roadie, "FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" again, groaned Roadie.

"Dude get the fuck up and look for a job holy shit" says Ya-whey, Roadies roommate "you've done nothing but eat Kraft singles on bimbo bread dude get or job or you're on the streets son" added Ya-whey "FUCKING FINE gay bitch" replied Roadie, "the fuck did you just say bitch?" replied Ya-whey as he was gay, but Roadie was already outside of the apartment and on the streets.

Roadie is Naruto running on the sidewalk, jamming out to Prada life's new album "253-474-1801"

As Roadie is running like a fucking goof on the sidewalk, he then comes across a Armed Forces Recruitment center, Roadie then Bites his lip like hes boutta fuck then goes into the Army recruiter portion of the building, "hello! My name is Staff Sergeant Richardson, how may I help you?" asked the recruiter, "I want to join the army" replied Roadie, "Great! You made the right choice, come into this room so you can fill out some paperwork, we currently have an enlistment bonus for those who enlist as infantry" replied the recruiter, "how much is the bonus?" asked Roadie, "$9,000 dollars at the moment." replied the recruiter.

"I'll take it." immediately replied Roadie. "Sure! Just sign on the dotted line!" replied the recruiter with a slight smile on his face, "okay what do i do now?" asked Roadie, "you go now" said the recruiter, "what but i j-" Roadie

Said before being interrupted, "the bus is outside now" said the recruiter. "Shit guess i go now." said Roadie before exiting the doors and entering the bus and taking his seat in the back of the bus because that's where the cool people sit. "The recruiter got you like that too huh?" Asked a mysterious voice "I guess, yo what's your name, mine's Roadie" , Roadie replied back, "my name's Mordecai and this is my friend Rigby" Replied Mordecai.

"What made you join the Army Mordecai and I guess Rigby too?" asked Roadie, "well, our old boss Benson fired us after i struck out with this girl Margaret" replied Mordecai.

22 WEEKS LATER

"Dude! I can't believe we're infantrymen!" exclaimed Mordecai, "YEAH YE!" replied back Rigby, "bro this is so fucking sick! I get to shoot an M4!" said Roadie "everyone get ready, we're deploying in 2 days, shit just went down in Afghanistan again..." said a random voice.

It was Captain Carnel, Roadie, Mordecai and Rigby's commanding officer, "ah dude sick!, we'll be able to shoot our guns at bad guys for real!" exclaimed Mordecai, "YE YEAAAH!" exclaimed back Rigby, but deep down, Roadie had a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen on this Deployment.

PRIVATE ROADIE

RIFLEMEN 1ST INFANTRY DIVISION 16TH INFANTRY REGIMENT

PRIVATE MORDECAI

AUTOMATIC RIFLEMAN 1ST INFANTRY DIVISION 16TH INFANTRY REGIMENT

PRIVATE RIGBY

COMBAT MEDIC 1ST INFANTRY DIVISION 16TH INFANTRY REGIMENT

The gang were deployed to Afghanistan in order to fight against the Taliban that has taken control of the country after the ANA fucking failed and ran like little bitches, however this wont be like the old head afghan war,

The Taliban had brand new M4's with night vision and other attachments that would make their job at killing much easier.

The Taliban also now have access to Drones, helicopters, Humvee's and MRAPs, generally making them better protected while moving around instead of having to use shitty fords.

2 MONTHS AFTER DEPLOYMENT

"Dude… this blows" groaned Mordecai, bored out of his damn mind "I KNOW RIGHT UHGHHHH" replied back Rigby, "dude… i thought we were going to like, shoot bad guys but we've just been sitting here in this fox hole for days now" added Mordecai, "i dunno, i feel like this is the calm before the storm" added Roadie, solemnly, "i dunno dude, we've been out here for days now and nothings happened yet… i didn't want to be the one to say it but you're a big capper Roadie" Said Mordecai with a judgmental tone, "whatever, eat my ass Mordecai!" shouted back Roadie, "dude, that's gay" replied Mordecai.

All of the sudden a mortar goes off behind the gang, luckily missing them, "OH MY GOSH, DUDE THE TALIBAN ARE COMING" screamed Rigby, not knowing what to do, "oh my god roadie you were right!" yelled Mordecai, "what do we do!" he added, "okay just stay calm!" shouted back Roadie. Off in the distance, what seems like hundreds of humvees approaching them off in the distance, you can hear the .50 cal and other small arms fire whizzing over the gang's heads.

Mordecai looked over the foxhole once again to see the humvees look even closer to their position, Mordecai making a prayer in his head hears electricity crackling as the sky grows dark, then the thunder starts, a streak runs across the battlefield and immediately destroying the humvees, Mordecai was in shock and awe, he was scared shitless, and so was Rigby and Roadie whole saw the whole thing transpire, so in turn they were all scared shitless, was this enemy or friend? A secret weapon made by the boys in the CIA?

The yellow streak would stop right in front of the gang, throwing shit tons of dust and rocks at Rigby, Mordecai and Roadie so they covered their eyes to protect them, when Roadie opened his eyes all he sees is a white glove and a tapping foot, the head of the creature moves over and Roadie catches a glimpse of the creature, it was a yellow creature about 3 feet high, and then it introduced itself, "Hi! I'm Sonichu! The electric hedgehog Pokemon! Me and my allies need you three to help save the Multiverse! Come quick, grab my hand!" Shouted Sonichu, Mordecai, Rigby and Roadie grabbed Sonichu's hand and zipped upward into the sky, just as a mortar landed on their position.