Omg what year is it? Certainly not 2021.
She came here to do a job.
Raine is right in the beginning to be so distrustful. Sheena doesn't hide her intentions at first, she tries to end things quickly. She underestimates the group- Kratos most of all.
So Sheena goes on the defensive instead, observing from afar. Watching how they work together, looking for cracks that she can slip right through and use to her advantage. Lloyd's group is a tight-knit unit, bound together by the horrors they've seen and shared.
Particularly when it comes to the nature of Exspheres and human ranches.
Sheena has little confidence in herself. A personal flaw that's her throughout her life. This entire mission is supposed to be a means to an end. The beginning of something new, reassurance in her courage and determination to do her best. It's supposed to be an easy thing, automatic because she doesn't know these people.
Until she does.
Colette and her kindness make everything seem damn-near impossible. Sheena's never struggled with this, doing what she's asked.
"A gald for your thoughts?"
Sheena turns to find Raine standing there, watching her warily. Mostly without judgment. An improvement, supposes Sheena.
"Same thoughts as always," says Sheena quietly.
Raine helps herself to the seat beside her without asking, but Sheena doesn't tell her to leave. They have a tenuous relationship, but it's a budding friendship of sorts. Sheena finds that she doesn't quite hate it.
"You've been pretty quiet since we've come to Tethe'alla," says Raine. She pauses. "Well, not quiet, perhaps. You certainly drive your points home. I only mean that you're… more reserved, and a little flighty."
Sheena frowns. Raine is the observant type. Incredibly distrustful of others, so all she does is watch. And wait. Sheena isn't surprised to learn that she's been watching her too. Still, what's surprising most of all is that she addresses it.
"What's your point?" Sheena sounds tired. Feels the exhaustion deep in her bones.
Raine's face sags slightly as she regards her. "I know that I've mistrusted you in the past. I still struggle with it now but- Sheena, it isn't as though I haven't come to care for you."
Sheena laughs at that, a slightly bitter-sounding thing. "A mother hen, aren't you?"
"I'm not your mother," says Raine quietly. "Nor do I wish to be."
There's a lot to unpack in the statement and Sheena isn't sure she's in the right mindset to begin to do so.
"You know, it was so easy in the beginning," says Sheena. "Get in, kill the Chosen of Sylvarant, get out. Tethe'alla flourishes, all that jazz. No worries from thereon out." She takes a deep breath and drags a hand down her face. "Colette just has to be the best of us, doesn't she? Has to make it so damn impossible to do my job."
Raine is quiet for a moment before she asks, "Are you still planning on it?"
A loaded question that Sheena's known the answer to for a long time now. Her shoulders sag as she sighs, pressing her face into her hands. "No," says Sheena, "But you already know that. Otherwise, we wouldn't be having this friendly chat."
"Friendly," muses Raine, and for once, it sounds genuine. The affection that lifts from her tone, the soft way that she says it.
They've been traveling together longer than not now, and Sheena's formed close bonds with the entire group, but Raine- well, Raine's a little bit different. Sheena doesn't quite know how to vocalize it.
"I understand, you know," says Raine, "Having to make difficult choices."
"Raine," says Sheena, "My decision affects an entire nation. And I'm not the only one- even Regal can't do it." When she looks at Raine, Raine watches back, her brow furrowed just slightly. "I don't want to," says Sheena.
"Then don't," says Raine simply.
Sheena flounders, her mouth falling open. Thinks about the idea of it, the possibility that this doesn't have to be her future. She's already summoned spirits, there's already a plan to use the mana cannon, and Zelos of all people even wants to help-
She made her choice a while ago without even realizing it.
It feels wrong to have her loyalties switch so clearly. Sheena isn't the best person but she also isn't one to doom another for the sake of the world. Not anymore.
Sheena thumbs over her trouser leg, pinching the soft fabric.
Raine sees and says, "We're only people. It's unfair to be handed such a burden."
"So, trying to figure out how to save both worlds is a better alternative?" Sheena doesn't mean to sound so bitter.
"Better than murder," says Raine dryly.
"I only want to be happy," says Sheena. She's already lost Corrine, she doesn't want to lose anyone else she cares about.
Raine leans over, bumping their shoulders together. It's a calm, soothing gesture that means more than it's likely meant to. "We all do, and we all deserve it."
"Most of all Colette," says Sheena. For everything she's so willingly sacrificed for others. Sheena wishes she can do the same, so unerringly. But she isn't the better person. None of them are.
"Indeed," agrees Raine.
Sheena sighs, flopping back to lay in the itchy grass. Watches as the stars move across the sky.
Raine does the same, pressed into the flora, fingers clasped gently over her middle. Her presence is strangely grounding, as it often has been of late.
Sheena nearly says something, nearly tells her what she wishes for in the future, but the words get stuck in her throat, so she stays quiet instead.
Their shoulders are still touching.
The moment is quiet and soft, a soothing balm.
The calm before the storm, Sheena knows.
She decides to enjoy this little pocket of peace before everything begins to storm.