Author's Note:
The Houses Competition (or THC) Round 3
Story Type: Drabble (up to 1,000 words)
House: Hufflepuff
Class: Muggle Studies
Prompt: 1. (Emotion) Confusion
Word Count: 994
Disclaimers/triggers: Nothing graphic. Drabble focuses on Lupin's grief and surprise after Sirius's imprisonment and his later revelation of innocence
Beta Love: Thanks to my teammates for betaing!
"I don't understand." Remus Lupin refused to look at his former headmaster. "Why would Sirius do that? There's no reason. Sirius loved James."
"I'm very sorry Remus, but it appears he did. Sirius was the Potter's Secret Keeper; there is nobody else who could have told Voldemort where they were."
Remus shook his head vigorously. None of this made sense. He had seen Sirius with James and baby Harry less than a month earlier. He had visited him at James' place after he ran away from his family and stayed up for all the late night rants about his no-good Death Eater family members.
Remus flinched and looked up at Dumbledore rather than face his own thoughts. He felt horridly empty and his thoughts swirled impotently in his brain. It was as if he was taking a test and had reached an answer that he knew made no sense but couldn't figure out where the mistake was.
"Why would he go after Peter? Peter only joined the Order because the rest of us made him; he wasn't any threat to Voldemort."
Dumbledore sighed, seeming to feel the weight of his years, "Perhaps he desired to make a clean break from his old life. I doubt we will ever know. You should be wary though, Remus. Sirius may be in custody, but there will be others who may wish you harm."
Remus broke eye contact with Dumbledore and jolted clumsily to his feet and over to the counter where he filled a kettle and lit the stove. Hands shaking, he took out two cups and some tea bags from the cabinet above. His jumbled thoughts ordered themselves and the confusion sharpened into a point: why had Sirius turned?
The kettle whistled and Remus poured a cup for himself and for Dumbledore and braced himself on his chair.
"When? When did–" He couldn't bring himself to say Sirius's name. "When did Voldemort recruit him?"
"I've suspected a spy in the Order for about a year, although I didn't know who."
Remus gritted his teeth and tried to hold onto some mental clarity but nothing in this conversation made any sense. That long? Had Sirius stood there and promised to guide and protect his godchild knowing he intended to hand the child to death? Sirius was impetuous, impatient; once he had sometimes even verged on cruel to those he deemed not worthy of consideration but he had never been cold. When had Remus misjudged his friend so badly? Where were the signs he had so clearly missed?
"When will the trial be?" he asked. Maybe there would be answers when Sirius was brought before the Ministry and forced to explain why.
Dumbledore sighed. "There won't be. With so many witnesses, Crouch has deemed it unnecessary." The headmaster looked disapproving but hid it behind a sip of tea.
It felt like years passed as Remus fought for something to say. Some question he could ask that would help everything make sense. When he finally managed to open his mouth, raw sobs came out instead of words. He forced the question he had to ask through short breaths,
"But, how will we know– how will we know why?"
Dumbledore patted his shoulder gently. "I don't think we ever will." The air filled with silence. Nothing made sense, but there was nothing more to say. "I'm sorry Remus."
12 years later...
Remus Lupin sat in his office, a familiar piece of parchment folded into the pocket of his robes. Sitting at his desk, he smoothed it on the surface and pulled out his wand.
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Dark lines began to appear on the map; a familiar outline of Hogwarts castle. Lupin glanced at the corridors leading up to Gryffindor tower and let out a breath as he saw "Harry Potter," "Hermione Granger," and "Ronald Weasley" leaving and walking to Hagrid's hut. Harry took after his mother, he thought, too tender-hearted to stay in safety when Hagrid needed support.
Remus tried to distract himself with some grading, but it was fruitless. The imminent full moon tugged at his thoughts. Severus would be ready soon with his potion, but the instinctual worry that he would cause harm nagged at him even as he intellectually knew he had the means to remain safe.
He glanced at the spot on the map that represented the Whomping Willow. To his relief, it was empty. There was no reason to think Sirius was getting into the school through the Shrieking Shack, and though Remus's conscience needled him uncomfortably, there was no reason to compel him to reveal the secret of three boys who had become Animagi, one of whom was still wandering the grounds.
With a start, he saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione's dots walking away from Hagrid's hut. A fourth dot seemed to grow distinct from Ron's. That was odd; none of the other students seemed to care much for Hagrid's menagerie of creatures. Remus squinted as a label appeared.
Peter Pettigrew, it read.
Remus furrowed his brow. That made no sense; the map must be malfunctioning. He closed it and then reactivated it, but the dot and label remained unchanged. One thought thundered through the confused flurry in Remus's mind: Peter was dead. It didn't make sense, but everyone knew that Sirius Black had killed him.
It had never made sense, Remus realized with a start. Everything Sirius had done and said from the time he was an eleven-year-old boy had led Remus to believe he hated Voldemort and everything he stood for. His betrayal of James, Lily, and Peter had made no sense because, he realized suddenly, it wasn't true. If Peter was alive, Sirius could not have killed him; he could not have betrayed anybody.
As a dot labeled "Sirius Black" dragged Ron and Peter into the Whomping Willow, 12 years of confusion lifted from Remus's thoughts and he rushed towards his old friend.