Chapter 109

July 26th, 2024

"5 years, wow…," Rory exclaimed, as she walked side-by-side with Logan across the hallway of a well-airconditioned mall, having spent the last couple of hours looking for the right present, or presents, for their twins whose birthday it was tomorrow. The place was a welcome escape from the heat, but unfortunately many seemed to think so.

"Catches me by surprise every year," Logan replied, taking Rory's hand. An old married couple, if they could be call that, didn't really do things like that when out and about, maybe on a date night, but as they were kind of like newlyweds once again Logan was feeling slightly more romantic, also knowing he consciously needed to put in more work than he had these past few years.

"Yeah," Rory agreed with a sigh. Every time she thought of it she would think back to those first weeks at the NICU, Leigh struggling while Emma thrived, despite both of them being premature, both her and Logan fearing for Leigh's life. Hence the twins birthday didn't come with just a whole bunch of positive emotions, it also held pain and fear that had accompanied it, at least not to Rory, as this had always been more difficult for her. In a way a mother always blames herself for these things, the faulty functioning of her body to sculpt a healthy child. She'd worked on this, hence she really had made her piece with it, but the bitter sweetness of those days still lingered.

"But I think it's safe to say we did good, so far at least..," Logan nudged her arm with his elbow playfully, seeing Rory get a little too serious for the task at hand. Sure, they'd already been to the Lego store and a couple of smaller boutiques they'd found, but surely it wasn't that dramatic. The girls had a lot of toys, but surely it wasn't that difficult to find something to make them happy on their birthday.

"Yeah," Rory replied, slowing her pace. "G just told me yesterday how she kind of blames herself for all this dad crap… that she thinks dad blames her for how things went with my mom, Lena and.. eventually even not telling us about Japan…," Rory explained. She'd spent a few hours last night really talking to G, just the two of them. The talk really could've used a bottle of wine, or two, but G couldn't drink due to her meds, so it was all a bit more brutal than it should've been. That kind of a talk really could've used something that would've enabled laughing about it instead self-blame.

"She can't take responsibility for something he, the adult back then, chose to do..," Logan replied.

"I know, and I think she does too… She thinks that dad did it subconsciously too, but that doesn't stop her from sensing the potential blame," Rory said. Logan could tell Rory was concerned for her sister, but he couldn't really understand what this had to do with the twins.

"I just hope..," Rory began, sensing his confusion. "...I hope that they won't ever think back to this, if they someday look at pictures or something…, that what happened between us was their fault," Rory confessed, thinking of the vow renewal or rather the reasons that had brought this on. The trouble with that statement was that in a very tiny amount the kids perhaps were - as much as any life situation that would make their parents irritable, withdrawn, sleep-deprived and short of time, while putting their own lives to the back burner - at fault. Those things were the kids fault, even though they were and were supposed to remain oblivious to their impact.

"I've seen people forgive far worse things to far worse people… just look at Owen and my dad," Logan pitched in, deciding to stop walking, feeling like this conversation needed to be had even if it wasn't the best location for it.

"Yeah..," Rory snorted, that indeed being a valid reminder.

"I could almost say that G should talk to him. Owen, I mean," Logan suggested. He wasn't sure if it would help, but he was seeing two sides in this. Any interaction, anyone potentially needing Owen's insight, could perhaps help Owen too. Make him feel less alone, make him feel like his opinion mattered to his family, and G was too family in a way. He hadn't told Rory about it directly, but hadn't hidden it either, that he had kept talking to Owen since his first call. Even if the call or text was just a quick 'how's it going' and something neutral about the kids. Logan surprised himself how easily he'd forgiven him, but the reason for this was that he mostly blamed himself for not paying enough attention to either of them - Owen nor Rory.

"Maybe," Rory exhaled. She was almost considering giving him a call now that she'd actually have something else to say than a 'sorry'.

"Did you two decide what you're going to do about calling Chris?" Logan asked, pulling Rory aside from the way of a couple of mothers pushing strollers that she hadn't noticed.

"I will, she doesn't feel like it. She also doesn't want dad to know that she's sick," Rory replied, still having been gathering her energy and thoughts to do it. She hadn't wanted to do it without talking to G first, but now that she had there really was just herself that was stopping it.

"I'll call with you, if that helps," Logan offered, squeezing her hand.

Rory smiled, feeling the kind of support she'd missed for a long time, and squeezed back.

"You know… actually I was thinking," Logan began, changing the subject back to the activity at hand.

"What? Let me guess - you want to get them experiences instead of things," Rory teased, rolling her eyes, but this was not in a bad way and Logan wasn't offended by that either. He knew he also couldn't take everything so literally, Rory was just Rory - he knew he couldn't lose his sense of humor if they were going to make things work this time.

"Well…," Logan chuckled in response. "I mean amongst other things, what kind of a five year old would say 'no' to a pony ride or something equivalent..., or we could just get a sick amount of body paint or finger paint and just let them go crazy with it outside," Logan continued, having by now began to understand that there were a lot of things he'd missed growing up that his kids wouldn't have to miss.

"Where are you going to get a pony this short notice?" Rory asked skeptically, placing her hand sternly on her hip.

"Well then the paint, get a huge canvas, let them make a painting… we'll just hose them down later," Logan suggested, playfully, and laughed.

"Celeste is going to hate us," Rory chuckled.

"But you have to admit, that it'd be fun, it'd be something different, right?" Logan encouraged.

"You're right, it would be..," Rory replied, smilingly. Thinking about creating a fun day for their kids was putting a lot of things in perspective for her, allowing the depressing topic related to her father fade. Maybe she didn't need those answers that badly after all, maybe they could just wait until after the birthday?

AN: Super sorry for a short paragraph today. My mind has just been all over the place. But to get me focused again I wouldn't mind some ideas thrown in my direction of if there's anything more you want to see happen in this story.

I have Finn & G pretty much thought out, and the children's birthdays that are upcoming.

But what do you think about Celeste and Jess? Do you think they need something big to happen for Jess to get over the money issue or do you think that is something that just will subside? I feel I've neglected them a bit.