Chapter 110

July 27th, 2024

"So this whole thing was his idea?" Celeste asked Rory as the two sat on the edge of the pool, their legs in the water, cooling off, each nursing an iced tea, a weaker version of the Long Island kind. Their stomachs were full of crepe cake and berries, Rory feeling rather satisfied with having pulled of the majority of a successful birthday party, Logan having promised to handle cleaning the kids up afterwards.

That was truly a relief, since for the past half an hour they'd been watching Emma, Leigh and naturally all the kids as well run around the lawn chasing each other with paint-covered hands, many of them already looking more like pieces of art themselves. There was a huge white canvas fabric on the ground that was already patterned by their hands, feet and the entire body of Emma who had been particularly brave in her experimentation.

Even Leo had made his own attempts at this, despite having initially claimed the activity to be childish.

"It was," Rory mused, loving watching her kids enjoy themselves.

Celeste had gotten back late last night, their five-day road trip having been both refreshing and a little tiring. Bits of it had been enjoyable no doubt, and Jess had actually found, also to Celeste's surprise, a little gem of a small town with just what he'd been looking for. Celeste knew that if he could've helped it he would've wanted to stay perhaps longer, despite slightly more humble accommodations. But coming back for the twin's birthday was more important. During their little get-away they'd all compromised, even having spent a day at a sculpture park on the outskirts of Florence just for Leo's sake. But he too was family, and neither could say that it wasn't good for him to gain some confidence in his decisions and expressing his wishes.

Rory had already filled Celeste in on the whole revelation about her dad that had happened after Celeste and Jess had already gone on their trip, not having been able to stop herself from texting with her when it happened. Celeste had said her words of wisdom, or rather her compassion, knowing all too well what it was like to have less than perfect parents. It was yet another reason why Rory felt like she couldn't really complain - hardly anyone around her had had perfect relations with their parents, hers and Lorelai's looking pretty good right about now, even with it's overbearingness and occasional codependency issues.

"How about you two..?" Celeste asked, after a while, seeing Logan play with the kids and in passing cast a glance towards Rory as well. That was certainly a look of love, but perhaps a hint of concern too.

"I think it's good…better," Rory began. "He's been supportive, he listens… But I'm scared of going back," Rory admitted. Holiday mode was good, but their time was rapidly coming to an end here. Work called. Finny would be starting school soon, actual live school, not something one did via Zoom. Thankfully they'd always made sure he was enrolled in two schools to be on the safe side - both one in Manhattan and another in Connecticut, but they needed to really make up their mind because school was about more than just the learning. Rory needed to figure out where they were going to be placed more permanently, and how to balance both her wants and needs with Logan's. Just making gigantic sacrifices for each other wouldn't work in the long run.

"I think that's understandable. There's the draw for things to go back to business as usual, but I do think you both know that's where things shouldn't go, right? You're too aware to let it go there. Honestly, I think Logan is too scared to let it go back there," Celeste shared her opinion.

"Yeah..," Rory sighed, not sounding too convinced of that.

"I sense a 'but'…," Celeste inquired, swallowing the last of her drink.

"I just don't understand how he can be so friendly, compassionate, with Owen, I know he feels bad because of what Owen is going through. But it's like he doesn't feel threatened or… I don't even know… It's like I feel like he's not really getting it. He's not getting why I am reluctant to take Owen's call, to clear the air or whatever," Rory fretted, her drink having already gone to her head and having loosened her tongue a little, despite having not planned on drinking much on her daughters' birthday.

"Is there a reason for him to feel threatened? Still?" Celeste asked, rather boldly.

"I know that I don't want to, but can I say that it's not something that could, under the right, or should I say - wrong set of circumstances - happen again… I am not sure I can," Rory explained, regretfully. She didn't aim to ever put herself in that position again, which meant also not working with Owen. She didn't even know if she would be able to do birthdays and holidays with him around. It was that weak she felt, she felt threatened of what she might feel if something with her and Logan was once again less than perfect. She believed they were over the worst, she knew they could work on them and that they could become stronger. They'd done it now and would do again. But in her experience, she also feared that they might disconnect again too just the same.

"I do think honesty is the best policy under most circumstances, but under these ones I actually don't think it'd help things much at all. It sounds to me like you are right to avoid him if that is the case. It could tell him that there was perhaps more there than you've let on," Celeste reflected.

"I don't want him. Not really. But if it I feels like that again… I..," Rory specified, but was unable to finish her thought, already fighting her tears. She didn't want to feel like this, she didn't want to live with expecting things to go wrong again.

She was, however, jolted out of her train of throught by a rapid storm of three of the five kids rushing past them, far too closely, in passing staining their backs pink with their hands, shocking them so much that Celeste jumped into the pool voluntarily, pulling Rory with her by instinct. Water splashed, getting them soaked, the odd thing being that Celeste was still holding her glass.

There had been nothing funny about what they'd been talking about, but despite that they were overcome by laughter.

"Oh honey," Celeste began, as the laughter subsided a little. Life wasn't that bad, was it?

Celeste hugged Rory right there, waist deep in the water, the two of them looking pretty ridiculous.

"You are scared, I get that. But you're not alone. You're doing what is good for your marriage, that's nothing to be ashamed of. You're doing what feels right for you, you just need to feel confident in your decisions and the strenght that the two of you have, that I know you have. You not telling him every bad thought that crosses your mind is for the good of your marriage too, as long as you don't hide your true self from him," Celeste whispered to her ear, still holding her.

They both knew that Rory's issues weren't solved by just a vow renewal or a two-month-holiday, they weren't solved by watching the kids enjoy themselves or spa retreats for the two. Rory needed to work through them, preferably with some outside help - Rory knew it too.

"Thank you," Rory whimpered quietly, barely holding it together. She was so lucky to have a friend like her.

"You two okay in there?" Jess asked in a low tone, seeing this odd embrace taking place inside the pool that was now smudged also by paint, having just reprimanded the kids for what they'd done, one of the rules having been not going by the buildings while they were paintcovered.

"Perfect," the two replied, almost in unison, letting out small burst of laughter, as Rory wiped the lonely teardrop from the corner of her eye.