Sunlight warmed her face and a fresh breeze swirled through her hair. Reflections of light seemed to return that sparkling sensation in her chest as Gwyn stared down at the water of the Sidra, standing next to Rhysand in content silence.
It has been a peaceful afternoon, the way down to the city worthwhile in various aspects.
Gwyn inhaled deeply through her nose, enjoying the scents that must have travelled over from the south. She was still surprised how pleasant and easy it had been, strolling through the city with the High Lord at her side. Except for a few curious glances, no one had pressed coming close, even at the busier places like the Palace of Hoof and Leaf. A respectful distance followed them wherever they'd gone, a welcoming smile the only greeting she'd experienced so far.
It was an astonishing endeavour, escorting the Night Court's High Lord through Velaris.
Slightly turning her head, Gwyn glanced up at Rhysand's face. His gaze was directed south, standing at the very apex of the bridge that crossed the river dividing his city. A smile tugged at her lips as she followed his gaze towards the one place they had yet to go to.
She wondered if some of them knew, that in truth he was the one escorting her?
A small chuckle escaped her lips and violet eyes met hers. A raised brow and a small smirk were the only forms of expression she received, one she met with a smile.
"I just thought–" Cutting herself off, Gwyn fully turned to Rhysand, an unexpected seriousness overtaking her as she allowed her eyes to wander over the lights and colours of Velaris again. When she met his eyes again, Gwyn had to swallow at the matching sincerity on his face. "–I thought how glad I am to be here. What a gift it is, to walk through these streets and not only see all of it from afar but be within." A new smile stole its way back to her lips and Gwyn closed her eyes at the brightness of the reflected sunlight. "I thought that I am proud to walk these streets and I am grateful you offered your company."
"There is no word capturing the feeling of walking these streets for a first," Rhysand said with a slight tilt of his head.
"A first?" Gwyn asked curiously.
Rhysand gave her a crooked smile. "Returning may also be a new beginning."
Allowing the words to sink in, Gwyn breathed to the steady rhythm of the Sidra's tide.
Eventually, she nodded and said, "A nice way to embrace change."
Sighing as she turned to Velaris' south, Gwyn started to walk towards the bridge's end, throwing Rhysand a smirk while passing. "It's kind of an ancient thing to say, though."
She heard him quietly choking and coughs quickly turned into laughter, its volume telling her he'd followed her. Halting in her steps, Gwyn turned to him.
"You wound my heart, Gwyneth," Rhysand said, grinning as he nodded towards the Palace of Bone and Salt. "Let's see if my ancient bones might carry me on a little more."
She shrugged lightly, grinning up at him with a slight eye-roll. "I guess compared to Amren we're all newborns. So, you're good."
A fresh breeze brought a new cloud of delicious scents to her nose, an unnecessary but welcome reminder of her plans. Rhysand was still smirking when he met her eyes again. "After the Palace of Bone and Salt, do you plan to come to the River House or go back to the House of Wind?"
"I'd like to go home after," Gwyn said with a smile, feeling a soft tug in her chest.
"I thought so," Rhysand said as the smirk on his lips grew, his eyes cutting down to the blade sheathed away at her side. Gwyn saw his eyes dart to a spot somewhere near her left wrist before he met her eyes again. "Now, let's introduce you to Velaris' belly."
The Palace of Bone and Salt offered everything its preceding scents had promised.
And much more.
It was a marvellous place, colourful spices presented on wide tables luring her to get closer. Stimulation in various forms, waiting at every corner, threatened to overwhelm her by their sheer amount. It was an experience for each of her senses, even more so with the constant stream of people around her.
And yet, Gwyn was glad to have chosen to come here with Rhysand today. For it might not have been Gwyn's initial reason when accepting Rhysand's offer yesterday, but the Palace of Bone and Salt had commanded her every thought since they left the House of Wind earlier today.
Stopping in front of one of the many market stalls, Gwyn allowed her eyes to wander, constantly searching with a blooming spark of warmth and excitement in her chest. "I fear this might take a while," she said over her shoulder.
"There are far worse places to kill time," Rhysand said in response. "I'll go get some of Feyre's favourite treats over there. Are you good on your own?"
Gwyn glanced at him, nodding with a smile before turning back and starting for the next stall. Her mind was already elsewhere.
Row after row of lavish food and dishes of any kind she could think of lured her to get closer, sellers were greeting her with smiles and offering samples, some tasting better than she'd ever imagined it possible.
It was marvellous in its entirety yet not what she desired to find.
Deeper and deeper in the maze of the market she went, her body led by scents and colours, her mind driven by purpose.
It was a small booth she finally came to a stop at. With her eyes already fixed on one of the offered goods, Gwyn could feel a smile spreading on her lips.
"I dare say these are the best in town."
Her eyes snapped up at those words, landing on the friendly-looking face of a merchant. He gave her a crooked grin, nodding down at the source of her interest. "Do you want to try one?"
"Please," Gwyn said, accepting the scone with a smile before taking a tentative bite.
Eyes blown wide, she hummed while chewing. "That's delicious! Do you have one with chocolate flavour?"
"Of course! If you don't mind, I'd recommend my new flavour mix, though. It is vanilla and chocolate combined and–" The merchant stopped in his words, his mouth agape as he suddenly looked up at the sky. Gwyn felt the hairs on her arm rising just a breath before the vibration of wingbeats echoed over the market and through her bones.
She couldn't do as much as lower the hand she'd stretched out to accept the new sample before someone landed with a booming force on the ground behind her.
Not someone, the sparkling tug in her chest told her.
Within a blink of an eye, Gwyn found herself shoved behind a familiar set of wings as wood cracked and scones seemed to fly everywhere, followed by an outraged cry.
"W-What does t-this m-mean?"
Gwyn stumbled forward, pushing Azriel's wings lightly aside to get around him. Taking in the mess he'd made, Gwyn couldn't believe her eyes, even more so when she turned to face him.
"Let him down!" Gwyn cried out, panic rising at the redness gathering at the merchant's face.
Azriel looked as if words had abandoned him. His chest was moving to heavy breaths, a fire burning in his eyes as he stared at the merchant he was holding up by his shirt.
"Azriel!"
He didn't move, a tighter grip around the merchant's collar his only reaction. It was anger without reason. Gwyn moved to him, pulling on his arms to make him lower them and calling out, "Stop it, Az!"
Irritation and anger washed towards her over that golden thread inside her, emotions that resonated with her when Azriel still didn't so much as blink at her in acknowledgement. Unprepared for the emotional wave of that moment, frustration merged with surprise and desperation for both the merchant's health and her mate. It cleared her mind and with the next breath that Gwyn took, she loosened the grip on Azriel's arms and let herself fall against his body.
It was both endearing and frustrating to see him letting the merchant's collar go to catch her before she'd fall, even more so because she knew he would, had anticipated as much.
What she hadn't planned but still came instinctively was her next movement, a slight turn of her body that allowed her to hook a foot behind one of his legs while she was still allowing the momentum to pull her towards him as gravity pulled her to the ground.
It was a sloppy movement, weak even and its execution would embarrass her in training. But here, combined with the situation she found herself in and the distraction the forceful pull of hers on the golden thread offered, it was enough to demand Azriel's attention through his fog of anger and irritation.
It made them both stumble to the ground.
She landed above him, another circumstance she knew only happened because he allowed so. Her breath came just as ragged as his now.
Frowning down at him, Gwyn watched his face carefully. "Are you alright?" she asked softly.
"Am I–" Azriel cut himself off and gritted his teeth as he cast another glance at the merchant who was laying near them, his head still brightly flushed as he tried to catch his breath. Following his gaze, she found the merchant worryingly coughing. "You okay?" Gwyn called out to him.
"Y-Yes," he breathed out between coughs, giving her a slight smile before turning on his knees, focussed on getting air into his lungs.
Azriel suddenly gripped her thighs and pushed her off him, already on his feet when Gwyn tried to grab his arms.
"That's enough!" Rhysand's voice made Azriel freeze in his steps, barely a breath away from the crumbling male on the ground. "Get a grip on it, Az."
Standing there, amid a deathly silent Palace of Bone and Salt, the only noise ragged breaths of a male who'd offered her nothing but kindness and scones, Gwyn watched her mate and High Lord silently staring at each other. Neither was blinking nor averting their gazes but she could feel the resonations of the exchange that must happen through the bond she shared with Azriel.
She could feel the anger, the irritation, the pain. But she could also feel his shame and angst. For her.
Gwyn made an unconscious step forward, stretching her hand out to him when he suddenly spread his wings and with only two heavy wingbeats, he was already gone; out of her reach.
Only a dark point in the sky remained, quickly getting smaller.
"What in the Mother's name was that?" the merchant asked with a raspy voice after Rhysand helped him to his feet, apologizing for his spymaster's behaviour.
"That," Rhysand said as he watched the wrecked booth and trampled scones around them, "–that was a drop of the mating bond's morning dew."
Gwyn stared at Rhysand for a moment before turning to the merchant, offering her help and apology. "I am so sorry–"
Rough laughter stopped her words and he gently patted her arm. "It is hardly fair to hold it against him if your bond is newly accepted." He turned on his axis, taking in the wreckage around them. "Illyrian no less," he muttered as he started to gather what's been left of his stand.
She could feel her heart skip in its beat at his words, almost twitching at the weight of a pair of eyes she felt on her face. Turning towards Rhysand, she met his gaze.
While they stood in the wake of Azriel's doings, Gwyn could swear she saw the reflections of the word echoing through her mind in Rhysand's eyes. A question, whose answer must have been written on her face when she looked at the decayed scones on the ground.
One of them the perfect blend of chocolate and vanilla.
In anticipation of the storm that Nesta could be and the relentlessness, Emerie tended to show, Gwyn felt highly anxious as she watched her friends' faces for any reaction while speaking for the last few minutes. Fiddling with the bracelet around her wrist, she released a shuddering breath. "You all knew?"
Leaning forward to hold Gwyn's hand, Emerie gave her a soft smile. "After Elain took you with her – let's just say Azriel lost it for a moment–"
"–he did look positively feral," Nesta cut in.
Casting Nesta a glance, Emerie continued with a shrug, "which raised the question of his intentions."
"–pretty clear he's your mate if you'd asked me," Nesta muttered under her breath, her lips pulled to a smirk. "Took you long enough to see, Gwyn."
Bumping her elbow lightly into Nesta's side, Gwyn raised a brow at her. "But not to acknowledge."
"When did you notice?" Em asked, cutting Nesta off the moment she opened her mouth with already gleaming eyes. Gwyn could imagine the questions burning on her best friend's tongue, ready to get out and not likely to stop for a while. She slightly rolled her eyes at Nesta, smoothed by a smile before she addressed Emerie's question. "After Lucien gave me my necklace back it sort of just ... appeared." Remembering the feeling after she'd put the necklace on her, seriousness washed away any humour she felt before. "It felt like taking the first breath after staying underwater for too long, and the bond was suddenly there as if it's always been but my vision was just too blinded to notice."
Gwyn looked from Nesta to Emerie, meeting their eyes as both listened with contemplative looks on their faces.
"It does make sense, in a way," Emerie said after a few moments of silence.
"What do you mean?"
Taking a deep breath, Emerie began tapping with her fingers on her knee, taking a moment to sort her thoughts. A slight tickle in her left sleeve made Gwyn shift on her spot, throwing down pillows off Nesta's and Cassian's bed which earned her an arched brow of Nesta in return. Tempted to stick out her tongue and see what Nesta would do, Gwyn groaned slightly when Emerie stood to retrieve the pillows, looking as if still deep in thought. She stopped beside the bed, placed the pillows down and started to speak in a thoughtful tone. "Well, it's obviously only a theory but if the mating bond bases on your identity, how would you know if it's snapped into place while a part of you was taken from you by that necklace and Elain?"
Nesta cast her a curious look, the pillows forgotten between them. "But how should the bond snap into place while that part had been lost?"
"I felt it there, the moment I closed the chain around my neck even though he wasn't there. It led me to him," Gwyn explained in a contemplative tone, her focus on the golden thread inside her on which she tugged lightly. She hadn't seen Azriel since he'd abruptly left from the Palace of Bone and Salt and didn't know where he went. But she could feel he was near, even though the dimmed sensation of him on the other side of the threat made her worry.
"Hm–" Emerie started only to be again cut off by Nesta who was now shaking with what looked endearingly like joy and worryingly like eagerness for more. "–but more importantly, you said you acknowledged it but did you accept the bond?"
A lot more than Gwyn felt ready to speak openly about, hadn't even had the time to reflect for herself. Scratching her left wrist, she looked down at her hands. "I– Well, we consumed– I mean, we –we had sex," Gwyn murmured, suddenly feeling flushed.
"I have many questions!" Nesta exclaimed with excitement.
"Nes!" Emerie cried, sending Gwyn a somewhat apologizing look while grinning on her own. Her eyes gleamed with just as much curiosity as Nesta's and Gwyn had to admit it felt good to see their joy for her, for them.
Feeling a smile building on her lips, she felt a shiver running over the skin of her arms and a fresh wave of light rushing over the bond to Azriel. It still felt all so unreal, the idea of her being destined Azriel's mate something solid yet somehow so delicate and precious, she feared it would all burst like a bubble, turning out to simply be a dream.
But to say it out loud, to acknowledge her choice she hadn't even had to question once the light within her started to bloom golden – it would make it real.
Irrevocable, once shared with the two persons sitting and standing beside her, her trusted friends and family.
She smiled, speaking softly, "I planned to surprise him with something small today, just him and me. I just know ... I don't have to think about it any longer. It was supposed to show him I had no doubts, offering him food today, only hours after I found out the bond exists between us."
"I bet he'll love that."
Gwyn gave Nesta a slight smile, shrugging sadly before sharing with them what happened earlier at the Palace of Bone and Salt.
"I was just shocked and hadn't expected any of it!" Gwyn summed up her narrative of the event, exchanging a glance with Nesta who watched her thoughtful. "Was Cassian anything like that before you accepted the bond?"
"No," Nesta said with a sigh. "And not often after. I suppose there is no such thing as normal, though."
"Just like everyone's instincts are different by nature, they are when it comes to the mating bond," Emerie insisted.
"We know Az is very protective," Nesta paused in her words, arching a brow at Gwyn and nodding to her sleeve. Crawling out of her blouse were two shadows, swirling around her wrist until Gwyn turned her hand so they could rest in her palm. "Why should it be any different now?"
The mist crawled forward, spreading its wings like long claws slowly pulling everything in their reach into the depths of the foggy cloud.
It was dark, neither stars nor moon gifting the darkness their light.
The only eerie shimmer was coming out of the mist, a slight gloom, slowly increasing the farther its claws could reach.
While the mist seemed to breathe in its movements, the world around it seemed to be still, almost frozen.
But with every pulse of light as the glooming mist advanced, the surroundings became clearer. Darkness turned into shades, revealing greys and browns until the glooming light revealed the shadows for what they were. Stones. Giant stone walls, all around, enclosing a moving, glooming cloud of mist.
It was a cave.
One sense satisfied, silence lifted its veil for gasping breaths to fill another dimension of the cave. They were uneven, unsynchronised in their rhythm of movement.
One set of breath came shallow and short while the other came ragged and almost panicked. It was unsettling. Was the mist breathing? But who was there, too?
The rhythm of inhales and exhales continued as the mist crawled forward and for a few moments it seemed as if sound and vision were slowly approaching each other.
Then, the ragged breathing stopped.
Instead, an anguished cry of a female voice slashed through the cave. Her pain was palpable in every wail, amplified without measure as it echoed from wall to wall, the cave showing no mercy.
It was as if the voice had been the wake-up call the mist had waited for. For its claws suddenly stopped reaching out and instead began to fold together until the cloud parted, revealing the glooming surface of a lake beneath.
Light pulsed up from its bottom. The water was a deep blue that simmered up with every new anguished wail of that voice.
The noise promised battle and war, the sound of pain brought a sense of chaos while the sight continued to change with a calmness that felt not only wrong but ominous.
Bubbles started to grow in their size as they reached the surface of the lake, the mist now completely retreated to the cave's walls.
A particular agonised outcry caused the lake to boil, the water now parting at its shore.
Out of the depths of the created void emerged shadows, their stream of darkness vibrating through the cave until they were all gone, merged with the glooming mist of the lake.
Once the water calmed down, only the void around which the lake now parted remained.
Sudden silence was only broken by a single set of breathing, short and shallow. The quiet felt threatening now that the screams have stopped as if agony knew a greater evil was lurking nearby.
It was white hair that came to view first, as he stepped out of the void. His pale skin made him stand out in the dark even more, the only drop of colour blood-red lips that were twisted into a biting grin.
Every existence within the cage seemed to reverse and reset its centre of gravity towards him. Only standing there, his head thrown back, eyes closed and arms spread wide as he smiled at the cave's ceiling as if in victory, he demanded the attention of every living and breathing.
Then, he snapped his head forward, ripping his eyes open to reveal two black orbs directly staring at her.
Gwyn screamed.
She could feel the soreness in her throat, could hear it in her voice as awareness slowly reconquered her mind.
It made her notice his voice before she felt the weight of his body, the warmth of his arms around her.
"Shh, it's okay – it's okay, love. Only a dream, it's not real–"
She knew her eyes must be closed because she could still see those two black orbs, could still feel the horror rushing through her veins. Focussing on his voice, his scent embracing her senses just as his arms did her body, Gwyn tried to take measured breaths through her nose.
"–I'm with you, it was just a dream."
She forced her eyes to open, blinking through the darkness of the room until she found her focal point, two hazel eyes watching her with such warmth and worry it erased any image of other eyes freshly imprinted to her mind.
"There you are," Azriel said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, still holding her tightly.
"Az," Gwyn breathed out with a raspy voice, clinging to him just as heavy now that she regained awareness of her body.
A few minutes passed in which neither of them spoke, the aftermath of her nightmare still resonating through her mind while she tried to absorb the beauty of reality – of not waking to deal with it alone, of being held, accepting the comfort offered without conditions.
Once her heartbeat had slowed back to normal and she felt calm again, Gwyn slowly raised her face from his chest, looking up at Azriel's face. "I've waited for you," she whispered, not trusting her voice yet.
Azriel tensed at her words, a grim look adorning his face as he looked stoically at the headboard. The contrast couldn't be bigger, for his fingers continued to caress her with a gentleness that wouldn't match his expression.
"I know." Nodding to the two shadows swirling around her left wrist, he finally shifted his gaze away from the bedframe to meet hers.
"You sent them to me?" Gwyn asked with a slight smile, her eyes twitching to the shadows lurking between his wings.
The shake of his head was barely visible, his expression turning into something sadder, almost apologetic. "They chose to leave with you this morning."
"Oh," she murmured before bringing her hand up to his shoulder, watching her two companions swirling back to Azriel, reuniting with the others. Glancing down at the bed – his bed – she must have fallen asleep in at some point while waiting for him, Gwyn tapped on the pillow next to hers. "Will you join me?"
His eyes widened slightly and she felt the hand placed at her waist tensing. "You want me to join you?"
"Of course I do, I've been waiting for you."
"I thought," he started quietly, his voice getting stronger with every word, "that you'd be angry with me. And I do understand if you are. Gwyn, I– I'm truly sorry for how I acted. It's never been my intention to – I just wanted to see you and he's been–"
Quickly leaning forward, Gwyn silenced Azriel with a kiss. She felt him freezing under the touch of her lips, words sealed back by acceptance and compassion.
"It's okay, Az. I appreciate your words but it's not me who you should apologise to. But I hear you and I do understand ... after all, it is new and confusing," she murmured against his lips before placing hers for a kiss at both corners of his mouth. "–and utterly beautiful."
Slightly leaning back to watch his face, she met his gaze as he stared at her, shadows and light flashing up in those hazel eyes along waves of emotions she could feel all the same within her.
He leaned down, resting his forehead against hers and releasing a shuddering breath. "I thought if I came here you'd be telling me you don't want this, that you're leaving," he admitted quietly.
Closing her eyes, Gwyn traced her hands over his chest, up to his neck until she held his face in both of her hands.
"I'm already where I would leave for."
Shadows weaving a veil around them, Gwyn pulled Azriel down with her, sinking deeper into their cocoon of light and darkness. Wave after wave ran like shivers along the thread, resonating in her heart before ebbing back to flow towards him. As they were laying there in silence, it was the only measure of time. Their tide of emotions, picturing his thoughts for her and mirroring hers to him.
A single threat of light. There was beauty in every shade of it.
No matter the emotion, it was golden.