Hello there, ladies and gentlemen! Here is the 45th chapter of this story!
Now before I start this chapter, I'd like to address a few things. And they involve the guest review that I've gotten from a guest user Michelle. And here's what I have to say about that review:
First off, I can see that the story doesn't make any sense to some people. But you all have to remember that there is no consistent storyline in this story. It mainly revolves around people in the 4077 being stuck in South Korea, saving lives from the casualties that come in, and taking part in activities to pass the time when they aren't expecting wounded. There isn't any consistent story plot here aside from the story arc I did that goes through chapters 12-16. Unless of course, you consider the chapters before chapter 12 to be one, in which they revolve around Andrew getting situated into the 4077 and getting himself comfortable with it.
After chapter 16, the chapters are loose adaptations or interpolations of several Season 3 episodes with Andrew included, except for chapter 23, which is a satire on gun use and combines elements from a couple of episodes, with the 25th chapter being the last one to be a loose adaptation of a season 3 episode with Andrew's involvement. After that, the plot thread starts to get scattered with each chapter that passes by, a couple based on a couple of season 4 episodes. So I can understand this issue.
Also, another complaint I'd like to address is how some of the chapters aren't exactly good in the sense. Chapters 29, 34, and 39 aren't all that great mainly because they're based on episodes that don't work out well with Henry Blake in command, and believe me, I'm not exactly fond of how those chapters came out. Therefore, any future chapters will be my ideas that are fleshed out in a way that Henry Blake does fit in. Because as I said before, I'm not planning on getting rid of Henry and killing him off. And I'm also not planning on sending off Trapper, Frank, or even Radar. So that's a little compromise that I'll try to live up to from here on.
Lastly, I'd like to address the romantic pairing that I was aiming for with this story. Yes, I'll admit the moments between Andrew and Margaret are a little sugary and syrupy in a sense; in other words, diabetic. I've done it for a good portion of 45 chapters. I'm gonna focus on their relationship again in this chapter, for obvious reasons. But after this chapter, I'm gonna tone down on the syrupy themes on the pairing, to the point where it's not gonna be shown in every chapter unless it's imperative to the chapter. I have gotten a little tired of doing it for every chapter anyway since it's been 45 chapters thus far. So with the next chapter, there won't be any of it included, and subtle hints of their relationship will be mentioned at most since Andrew will interact solely with one of the other characters. I'll try to live up to that promise too.
Anyway, now that I got that out of the way, let's start with the next chapter. In this chapter, Andrew and Margaret announce that they are engaged after having come back from Tokyo and that they are officially set to be married after the war is over. On top of that, several characters show their reactions towards it, and some other stuff will occur. How will this go for everyone else? Find out right now!
AT THE M*A*S*H 4077 - 10:28
It was a new day at the M*A*S*H 4077. People were going about their business as usual, and the medical unit was running as it should. In the Swamp, in particular, we see the two Captains; Hawkeye and Trapper in their respective bathrobes, playing with a rubber glove that they inflated like a balloon, and they were smacking it over the clothesline where their laundry was hanging on to dry.
It was clear that they were trying to play volleyball with an inflated glove, judging by how they were smacking it back and forth over the clothesline. They seemed to be having a good time with their little game, as they focused on nothing else.
"Alright Trap, alright," Hawkeye encouraged as he hit the inflate glove again. "Focus on the glove. Focus. Focus."
"Hawk, it's a little troubling to focus when you're telling me to focus," Trapper snarked while hitting the glove. "So let me focus on my own without your help. Because that's how I always mess up on this."
"Wait a minute Trapper, wait," Hawkeye spoke up again, as he hit the inflated glove back. "Are you trying to tell me that I'm a distraction?"
"Well, when you put it that way, yes," Trapper wasn't hesitant with that answer. "You do tend to be a distraction every once in a while."
"I'm a distraction? Ha! That's coming from the same fella who can't even hit a paddle ball more than once," Hawkeye fired back.
"I still can't understand how you can do that Hawkeye," Trapper snorted as he hit the inflated glove back to Hawkeye. "But in this little game, you use your distraction as a method of cheating."
"Cheating? Me? Don't be ridiculous Trap! I don't use my distraction to cheat at this game," Hawkeye defended as he hit the inflated glove to Trapper, only for him to miss because he was distracted by Hawkeye's rant. "Ha! You missed it! That means I win again!"
"See? I told you! You distracted me on purpose just so you could win Hawk," Trapper pointed out. "That the last time I ever play this game with you."
"Oh come on Trapper," Hawkeye defended as he sat down in this cot. "It's all in good fun."
"Good fun, huh? Is it good fun to cheat at a game that your playing with your best friend?" Trapper huffed, sitting in that lounge chair. "Cause that's what it seems like to me."
"Ah quit it Trap," Hawkeye told him as Frank entered the swamp with a small box in his hands. "I would never bother to cheat on my best friend, at a game or otherwise."
"Oh really? Well, let me get a second opinion from Frank," Trapper crossed his arms as he noticed Frank sitting at his cot.
"Oh don't bring Frank into this," Hawkeye brushed off. "He doesn't know a thing about what we're doing."
"Your probably right," Trapper said dryly. "Only thing he's good for is getting an ingrown toenail and performing malpractice on it like a piece of wood."
"No kidding there," Hawkeye chuckled, getting Trapper to smirk slightly.
"I heard that you guys," Frank scoffed, sounding offended. "You always say mean stuff about me behind my back."
"Oh contraire Frank, "Hawkeye reiterated. "We always mean to say stuff on your back."
"I get that routine bub," Frank huffed. "In any case, why don't you guys like me, huh?"
"Gee, I dunno Frank," Hawkeye mused before coming up with an answer. "Maybe it's because you're a lousy doctor and a rotten person."
"It also saves time, Frank," Trapper added. "In case you've forgotten."
"I still remember that," Frank snorted. "But what cuts me to the quick is the fact that we were getting along just fine, for the first two weeks when we first got here."
"Exactly, Frank," Trapper nodded. "And just like I said before, that time was 'absolutely' wasted."
"Trust us, Frank," Hawkeye said. "We still regret not being mean to you sooner."
"Oh, ha! Like I'd be upset about that Pierce," Frank barked. "But, deep down, there's no real hatred, is there?"
"Deep down? Not exactly," Trapper shook his head. "It's just that you're a joyless person, Frank."
"Yeah. You're D-U-L," Hawkeye added. "The rats around here bring more entertainment than you do. Even the casualties that we get end up providing for us more than what we get out of you, Frank."
"Oh, am I? I'm a joyless person, huh?" Frank snorted. "Well guys, I'll show you my present that I just got. Maybe that will show you that I'm not a D-U-L person."
"Alright," Hawkeye got up from his cot. "What did you get?"
"Yeah Frank," Trapper also decided to humor him. "Show us what you got that could be NOT D-U-L to us."
At that, Frank started to chuckle while Hawkeye and Trapper looked over his shoulder as Frank took the gift out of the box. What Frank took out was a ball-in-the-hole type of game with the BBs.
"You see this?" Frank showed them as he moved it about. "You roll the BBs around and you try and get 'em in the holes."
At first, Hawkeye and Trapper were quite indifferent by the type of game that he was showing them. However, what caught their attention was the lady that was on the board. It was clear that she was busty with a skimpy shirt and shorts on, thus making her out to be a hussie. This was enough to trigger those pervertic thoughts in their minds.
"Oooo, Frank you naughty devil you," Hawkeye teased. "I didn't know you like something that obscene."
"Since when did you have such a good taste in smut and women, Frank," Trapper asked in a teasing manner.
"None of your beeswax," Frank huffed. "Get a whip of this? Does this make me a joyless person now you two lugs?"
"Frank, from what we've seen, we think of you as anything but joyless," it was unclear if Hawkeye was being sarcastic or not with that comment. "You should show that to the other nurses in the outfit."
"Yeah, I bet they would love to wear something like that around us," Trapper commented.
"Hmph," Frank huffed. "Well, it's at least good to know that I'm not joyless."
"So anyway, when you're done with that, can I play it," Hawkeye asked. "I want to get the BBs in her legs."
"I want to get the BBs in the rest of her," Trapper commented. "Preferably in the chest."
"You take the left side of the chest, and I take the right side," Hawkeye suggested.
"Ha! Like I'm gonna share this with you wisenheimers! Get your own," Frank denied them permission to play with it. Besides, it's from a former receptionist."
"Former receptionist? Is that what you said, Frank?" Hawkeye raised an eyebrow.
"Yes," Frank chuckled as he moved the BBs some more. "My former receptionist, Nancy. Who did you think I was referring to, bub?"
"That could have been anyone's guess," Trapper snorted. "It was a mystery to both of us."
"Right," Frank murmured. "Don't spread it around, but I never told my wife about the affair I had with Nancy."
"That makes two of us Frank," Trapper retorted. "I've had an affair with this receptionist that I met one time, at a one-night stand-off in Boston."
"Frank, I'm sorry that I ever doubted you," Hawkeye gave him a faux-apology with a tone of sarcasm. "I promise I'll never call you dull again."
"Same goes for me, Frank." Trapper agreed, also sounding sarcastic.
"Well, at least someone finally comes out with it," Frank huffed. "Now leave me to my game you two!"
"Oh sure Frank, we couldn't come in the way of a beautiful-looking hussie like that," Hawkeye said sardonically.
"Besides, I already have a date for tonight," Trapper added dryly. "We'll leave you to your game."
Frank just shrugged it off as he focused on his game, while Hawkeye and Trapper got up and walked back to their side of the Swamp.
"You know something Trap? Besides Frank's new game, it's been awfully quiet around here," Hawkeye pointed out.
"Hawk? You may be onto something there," Trapper agreed. "It's been like this since Andrew and Margaret left for Tokyo two days ago."
"Oh, right! How could I have forgotten? They left for important matters," Hawkeye snapped his fingers from remembering. "How many days did they say they'd be gone for?"
"About two days, according to what they said to us last," Trapper shrugged.
"Right. So that means they should be back at the 4077 at any time now," Hawkeye remarked.
"You said it. I didn't." Trapper told him.
"I wonder what those two did in Tokyo," Hawkeye mused.
"They probably fraternized together," Trapper guessed with a chuckle. "That and they took a dip in the hot tub together."
"With no clothes on, right?" Hawkeye asked.
"Sure. Why not?" Trapper shrugged casually. "Those two still haven't set a date for their wedding. And we haven't heard yet about whether or not they're engaged."
"You're right Trapper. With those two, anything is possible," Hawkeye remarked.
"Hmph! If you guys want to know what I think, I'm pretty sure that Major Peterson and Major Houlihan were attending something medical-related," Frank spoke up while playing his game. "They're probably taking care of medical business."
"Why Frank, how can you be sure of that," Hawkeye teased him again. "Am I sensing some jealousy coming from the opposite side of the Swamp?"
"Me? Jealous? Don't be ridiculous," Frank scoffed off. "I'm a happily married man."
"What about your former receptionist then," Trapper brought up. "Wouldn't your wife be jealous if she found out you were having an affair with Nancy?"
"You keep Nancy out of this! What we did is our business, so leave her out of it!" Frank hollered angrily from the other side of the Swamp.
"Well, so much for not being D-U-L Frank," Hawkeye shrugged casually.
"Talk about being joyless again," Trapper agreed.
Frank only gave them a dirty look but said nothing else as he went back to his little game. Just because they were going against what they said doesn't mean Frank shouldn't have his day ruined. He got this nice game to play by himself after all. So he wasn't going to let it get to him...
Before anything else could be said at the moment, a knock was heard at the door, which got their attention.
"'Cuse me? Sirs?" That belonged to Radar as they were able to figure out who it was.
"Radar? What are you doing here?" Hawkeye asked him. "Didn't you already deliver the mail to us?"
"No, no sir. Not that at all," Radar shook his head. "It's something else."
"Well, don't stand outside, Radar," Trapper allowed him to enter. "Get in here."
Radar took that as his chance to enter the Swamp. But before he could step one foot into the Swamp, Frank had to clear his throat, reminding them that he was still in the Swamp with them.
"Ahem!" Frank cleared his throat. "Don't I get a say in this?"
"Ah, right. How could we have forgotten," Hawkeye retorted sarcastically. "Frank, would it be alright if Radar can come into the Swamp?"
Frank opened his mouth, about to say how Radar should not be allowed in Officer's Country with them, but Trapper cut him off.
"Very good, Frank," he didn't even let him speak. "Cause we would've allowed Radar into the Swamp whether you like it or not."
Frank only reacted by giving Trapper a sharp glare, but he said nothing else. By then, Radar came into the Swamp, and walked over towards Hawkeye and Trapper on their side of the Swamp, with the huge urge to talk to them about something.
"Alright Radar, take a seat," Hawkeye motioned him to a chair, resulting in Radar sitting in the chair. "Now, what's on your mind today?"
"Are we gettin' any casualties so to speak?" Trapper queried.
"Oh no, guys. No casualties," Radar shook his head once again. "Not this time."
"Well then, what's the big scoop," Trapper wondered. "What's so important that you had to come into Swamp to talk with us?"
"Is there a reason why you decided to stop by our humble abode," Hawkeye questioned.
"Well, uh, yes guys," Radar got to the point. "It's Majors Peterson and Houlihan. I'm really worried about them."
"Aren't we all Radar," Hawkeye said. "Don't worry. They'll be back."
"Yeah, they're supposed to be back at some point today," Trapper assured. "So no sweat Radar."
"That's exactly it. See, they're to be here at any time," Radar commented. "I haven't seen 'em pull in by jeep or chopper or nothing."
"Maybe they're being fashionably late," Hawkeye guessed while shrugging. "They may have a big surprise for us when they get back."
"I don't think they're gonna be fashionably late Hawk," Trapper interjected. "Otherwise, we would've gotten word of them showing up a little later. Either by phone or telegram."
"Geez, sirs," Radar grimaced. "Just very worried about them being back is what I'm feeling."
"We know Radar," Hawkeye places his hand on Radar's shoulder. "But we can assure you that they'll be back in no time."
"His word is as good as mine Radar," Trapper agreed. "You can bet on it."
"Hope so guys," Radar muttered under his breath.
"Hmph. You guys are so paranoid," Frank retorted. "You lugs are too worried about whether or not two Majors that are stationed here will get back safe and sound."
"Oh right," Hawkeye was being sarcastic. "Being it's not like Frank would know what it feels like to be paranoid about someone he's associated with not getting back to the 4077th on time."
"Frank, why don't you focus more on your little game and keep your mouth shut?" Trapper snorted.
"Unlike you two, I don't waste my time trying to drink booze and chase after women," Frank huffed.
"'Actually', we're thinking about chasing only drinking women," Hawkeye said. "Eliminates one process."
"I've heard that one before," Frank scoffed.
"We're aware of that Frank," Trapper said. "And we aren't likely to forget about it either."
"Why am I bothering to talk with you guys," Frank sneered. "I've got better things to do with my time."
"What's stopping you, Frank," Trapper snorted. "Just don't move your lipless mouth."
Frank gave him a dirty look before going back to doing what he was doing before.
"I mean it guys," Radar spoke up again. "Hawkeye? Trapper? I hope they get back."
"We all do Radar," Hawkeye told him. "Just give them time."
"We just gotta be patient with them." Trapper agreed.
"You sirs better be right," Radar uttered under his breath as no one else said a word for the next few minutes...
Afterwards, they heard a jeep pull into the compound, parking right outside the Swamp. This got their attention.
"Wonder who that could be," Radar queried.
"Either it's a special delivery, or it's someone from peace talk telling us that the war is over," Hawkeye took a guess.
"Lemme see who that is," Trapper stood up and looked outside from the Swamp. "Hey, guess who it is? Andrew and Margaret are back from their trip to Tokyo."
This got Hawkeye and Radar's attention as they stood up and looked outside for themselves. Once they did, they saw Andrew and Margaret in their brown Class A uniforms getting out of the jeep. They were taking their belongings out of the back seat.
"Hey. They are back," Hawkeye commented. "Just like they said."
"Yes sir. Wow," Radar uttered.
"Think maybe we should do the neighborly thing and help them out?" Hawkeye suggested.
"Well, you tell me," Trapper said. "Should we help them?"
"Well, uh, I should help with their stuff sirs," Radar said as he walked out the door to give them a hand.
"Guess we should give them a hand, huh?" Hawkeye asked.
"Fraid so. Let's give them some help," Trapper remarked. "Hey, Frank? Wanna go and see Andrew and Margaret? They're back."
"Yeah right," Frank shook his head. "You two bozos can go and help them if you want. I'm gonna just stay here and play some more of this game."
"Suit yourself," Trapper shrugged. "Come on Hawk. Let's go help them."
"Right," Hawkeye turned to face Frank one last time as they approached the door. "By the way Frank, be sure to get some of those BBs into her upper chest, will you?"
"Oh, go peddle your fish," Frank barked, sounding offended by that.
Neither of the captains said another word to the major, as they went outside to help out Andrew and Margaret with their stuff. Now that he was alone, Frank could finally play his game in peace, as he was heard chuckling while getting more of the BBs into the holes. He was going to be occupied for a while...
Meanwhile, outside the Swamp, Andrew and Margaret were taking their suitcases out, as they were in a pretty good mood, judging by the smiles on their faces. This could only mean that something special happened with them in Tokyo for two days and it could be something big for the two of them.
They had allowed someone to take the jeep once they got all of their stuff out of the back seat. However, before the jeep could drive off, Radar went over to the pair to give them a hand with their luggage.
"'Cuse me? Majors?" Radar got their attention. "You've returned from Tokyo."
"Why hello there Radar," Andrew greeted him. "Yes, we've returned from Tokyo."
"You two have a good time there?" Radar queried.
"We certainly did Radar," Andrew answered. "Aside from attending a medical conference, we ate out at a restaurant, and also did some dancing too."
"We also have a surprise Corporal," Margaret commented. "You'll have to find out in a bit."
"Wow," Radar gawked, unable to say anything else by what he was told.
He wouldn't have been able to say anything anyway, as Hawkeye and Trapper came out to give them a hand, as well as welcome them back to the 4077, in their little way.
"Well, look who has returned to our neck of the woods," Hawkeye commented. "Did you two have a good time in Tokyo?"
"You two must've had fun for the past 2 days," Trapper spoke up. "Considering how happy you two are right about now."
"Well, you two aren't wrong there," Andrew chuckled lightly. "We did have a good time, and we are in a pretty good mood."
"Our good mood is because we have a surprise," Margaret spoke up as the two captains caught a whiff of her breath. "Trust me, you boys are gonna be surprised by it."
"I'll tell you what is a surprise, Major Houlihan," Hawkeye huffed. "You seem to have a breath of fresh air."
"Well, she had a sardine sandwich on the plane," Andrew admitted. "And because of the surprise we have that happened, we uhh...we shared it, and ate it together."
"You don't say," Trapper raised an eyebrow towards Andrew. "Then it must be a really big surprise."
"I suggest that we talk about it in my tent," Margaret pointed to her tent. "Andrew and I will reveal it to you two Captains in there."
"Yeah. In the meantime, Radar," Andrew gave Radar an assignment. "Would you take my suitcases-"
"Back to your tent where you'll unpack them later on," Radar said in unison as he picked up Andrew's suitcases. "Yes sir."
And so Radar headed off for Andrew's tent to get his baggage back in there so the Major can unpack things after the surprise is revealed. Margaret had one of her suitcases in his hands while Andrew carried the other. Hawkeye and Trapper were following them, wondering what the hell the surprise was supposed to be. They put that to the side for now, as they saw the two Majors carrying Margaret's luggage.
"Hey kids, mind if we help you bring the luggage into your tent?" Hawkeye asked teasingly.
"No Captain. That won't be necessary," Margaret told him nonchalantly. "We can handle this."
"You sure about that," Trapper wondered. "You look like you could use two hands with those suitcases."
"We should be fine on our own you two," Andrew insisted. "But thank you kindly for offering to help out."
"Hey, we're a couple of good civilians wanting to help out two fellow Majors who came back from Tokyo in an overall good mood," Hawkeye pointed out.
"Consider it our pleasure," Trapper agreed with his fellow partner.
"Yeah, sure it is," Margaret uttered. "Now come into my tent."
They didn't say a word as the two captains entered the tent along with Andrew and Margaret. They were anticipating the big surprise that they wanted to share with them. So as soon as they got into the tent, they sat down in the cot while Andrew and Margaret preferred to stand up while telling them about it.
As soon as Andrew closed Margaret's door, the two of them looked towards Hawkeye and Trapper, standing right in front of them as they were ready to get straight to business.
"Alright you two, what's the big surprise?" Hawkeye wondered. "It must be something if you two are happier than usual."
"Something must've happened in Tokyo, right?" Trapper took a guess.
"Well...you could say that," Andrew said bashfully.
"Well don't leave us hanging," Hawkeye attempted to encourage them. "What's the surprise?"
"Okay, you guys. Okay. But first, I want to show you Captains something," Margaret showed them her left hand. "Look."
Hawkeye and Trapper looked as instructed. The only thing that they could see on her ring finger was a ruby ring that she must've gotten in Tokyo. But perhaps, that's exactly what Margaret was trying to show them.
"Hey, Margaret? The only thing I see on your left hand is a ring. A ruby ring to be exact," Hawkeye pointed out.
"Yeah," Trapper agreed. "It looks nice Margaret. But I don't understand either."
"That's what I'm showing you two," Margaret remarked. "I'm showing my engagement ring."
"I was the one who bought it for her," Andrew admitted shyly.
"Engagement ring?" Trapper looked shocked as did Hawkeye. "Does that mean you two are..."
"Engaged?" Andrew guessed what he was going to say. "Yes, you guys. Margaret and I are officially engaged."
"So does that mean you two lovebirds are gonna get married," Hawkeye wondered with a smirk on his face.
"Now hold on a second there Hawkeye," Andrew had his hands up. "We aren't getting married just yet. This is just to show that we are engaged and that we are set to be married sometime soon. That's all this is about."
The two captains were honestly surprised by this. They had expected the two Majors to plan their wedding eventually, but this was unexpected. And they told them; the last two people they'd expect to be told about this.
There was also something else that got them curious; did they tell anyone else about this? Or did they just tell the two of them thus far?
The only other way they could've told anyone about this would be if they had phoned Henry Blake in his office and told him about the news. But the chances of that are highly unlikely since they didn't bother to contact the 4077th after they left. They were unsure about what to say for several minutes.
Finally, Trapper was able to comment on this. "Well, ain't this a surprise. In any case, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."
"I'll buy that," Hawkeye agreed with him. "Have you given any thoughts on how to tell Frank about this?"
"Yeah, I've been thinking about that. And I'm aware that he may not take the news so well," Andrew tugged on his shoulders. "So I'm gonna take precautions when telling him about our engagement."
"I should be there with you Andrew when you tell him," Margaret spoke up. "Just in case something transpires."
"Good idea," Andrew remarked.
"Hey, since we're talking about your recent engagement," Trapper suggested while smirking. "Are you two planning an engagement party?"
"Well, to be honest with you, I have no trouble with it, Trapper," Margaret said calmly. "However, I'm uncertain about regulations allowing an engagement party to be held within the M*A*S*H 4077."
"Though it is possible for us to have one," Andrew rubbed his chin in amusement. "I mean, I remember the time you guys threw us that party for how we decided to stay at the 4077, and it helped with boosting morale. Margaret and I felt much more comfortable as a result. So maybe we could have one take place."
"Well you two, if you want an engagement party, then Trapper and I will gladly prepare for it," Hawkeye told them. "We'll make sure that there's an engagement cake and rings, and everything else you'd see typically at an engagement. It should be engaging for everyone."
"Well, that's very thoughtful of you Pierce," Andrew admitted. "But we also need to run it by the Colonel to make sure that it's alright to have this engagement party, even though he shouldn't have a problem with it. Not to mention Margaret and I have to report to him with the medical files that were required to be brought back to the 4077."
"Not a problem Andrew," Trapper assured him. "That's what we have Radar for. He can get the Colonel to sign some forms, which would approve of this engagement party that we want to throw for you."
"You sure that Radar would be up to it?" Andrew wondered, sounding doubtful.
"When it comes to Radar, we can always count on him," Hawkeye stated.
"That's true," Andrew said thoughtfully.
It was at that moment, a knock was heard at the door. By sheer coincidence, the person who entered Margaret's tent was Radar.
"Ah, Radar," Hawkeye commented. "Just the person that we wanted to see."
"Am I?" Radar seemed curious by that before he focused on Andrew. "Oh, Andrew, by the way, your luggage's back in your tent. Ready to be put away. When you want to."
"Good," Andrew smiled. "Thanks for that Radar."
"Welcome," Radar said simply.
"By the way Radar, we were talking about you," Trapper decided to bring up. "And we wanted to know if you could do us a little favor."
"Depends on the favor," Radar wondered. "What's this favor precisely?"
"We're wondering if you could get Henry Blake to sign some forms," Hawkeye told him.
"Forms for what?" Radar asked.
"Forms for the approval of an engagement party we want to throw." Trapper answered.
"Engagement party? Whom for?" Rader queried, getting confused.
"For Andrew and Margaret. That's whom," Hawkeye revealed to him. "They just got engaged when they were in Tokyo, and we want to throw an engagement party for them."
"Wow. Holy cow," Radar was shocked by what he was just told before he turned to face the two Majors. "You guys engaged? As in, planning for a wedding? For marriage?"
"Oh Radar," Andrew laughed heartily. "Yes, we are engaged. We do have plans for a wedding. And no, we aren't getting married just yet. It's just to show that we're officially engaged. That's it."
"Wow. Gosh. Gee," Radar uttered before properly thanking them. "Congrats Majors."
"Thanks for that, Radar," Andrew thanked him sincerely.
"Thank you, Corporal," Margaret also thanked him calmly.
"Welcome sir, and ma'am," Radar said. "By the way, uh, does uh...does Major Burns know 'bout this?"
"Not yet," Andrew informed him. "I'm planning on talking with him about it myself. And Margaret should accompany me when I tell him."
"Will he be mad Peterson?"
"I dunno for sure Radar. But when it comes to Frank, anything can happen."
"Not to worry. Frank is a grown-up," Hawkeye commented. "He can't hold onto his mother forever."
"Or for that matter, his mother is back at home in Fort Wayne," Trapper deadpanned.
"Right," Andrew smiled sheepishly. "Anyway Radar? Would you mind going and-"
"Make those forms for Colonel Blake to sign," Radar said at the same time as Andrew. "Yes, sir."
And with that, Radar opened the door and walked out of Margaret's tent. Once he was gone, Andrew felt that he needed to take care of stuff in his tent now that the surprise had been told to the two captains.
"Alright. Now if you guys may excuse me, I've got some stuff to unpack in my tent," Andrew announced. "I'll be seeing you guys around."
With a casual goodbye from Margaret and simple farewells from the captains, Andrew then turned around and walked out the opened door to head back to his tent. He had some stuff in his suitcases that needed to be put back where it belongs. Once he was gone, Margaret felt that she was done talking with Hawkeye and Trapper about the surprise, so she had them leave as well.
"Alright Captains, you're just about done here," Margaret instructed. "Now get out of my tent."
"What? We aren't allowed to stick around for a bit?" Hawkeye asked rhetorically.
"I have to unpack my things," Margaret deadpanned. "Now blow."
"Oh, right," Hawkeye had a faux-cheerful tone in his voice. "Pardon us for not taking a hint."
"We've overstayed our welcome here," Trapper added. "We'll see ourselves out."
They both walked out of the tent, leaving Margaret all alone for the time being. Once they were out, Margaret made sure she closed the door, giving her privacy. From there, she started to unload her belongings from her suitcases and back where they belonged. Things were going to be a little exciting as the day pressed on. No doubt about that...
COLONEL BLAKE'S OFFICE - 11:42
Quite some time had passed since Andrew and Margaret had returned to the M*A*S*H 4077. Radar, in particular, had just finished filling out the forms that had to be done, including the approval form for the engagement party for Andrew and Margaret. Radar couldn't believe it. They're engaged for real, and it wasn't a passing joke either. Margaret had a ruby ring that Andrew gave to her as an engagement ring.
It was bound to happen eventually, but he didn't expect it to be official once the two Majors came back from their two-day trip in Tokyo. This would eventually spread throughout the outfit. This ought to be a memorable party for everyone, including the engaged couple.
Once Radar was done with the forms, he went right into Henry's office to get them to sign. Currently, he was in the middle of a phone call with one of the generals. This shouldn't be a problem for Radar. After all, Henry has signed forms before while he was tied up on the phone, right?
"Yes General. Yes. That's right. They're all finitoed and such," Henry talked as Radar approached him with his clipboard and pen. "You could say that sir. Yes sir. Our mobile army surgical hospital is the most efficient unit in all of Korea. Uh-huh. I see. Well, thanks for the compliments sir. Yes. I truly appreciate it."
"Sir?" Radar handed over the clipboard and pen, in which Henry took both of them.
"Of course General. Yes. We'll be sure about that," Henry said as he absentmindedly signed the forms one by one without even reading them. "Yup. Yes sirree, Bob. We got it all under control. Sure. We have the best surgeons in this outfit. Right. I see. Alrighty. I understand."
"Thank you, sir," Radar thanked him as Henry gave the clipboard and pen back to him. But before the company clerk could leave, Henry had to stop him.
"Hold on a moment Radar," he said to him before closing up his call with the general. "Yes, general. Yes. Absotively. Welp, I best be on my way. That's prezactly what I had in mind. Okay? Okay, thanks a whole heap. Sure. Take care and goom-bye."
With that, Henry ended the call. Once he did that, he stood up and got right in front of Radar.
"Radar?" Henry started once he stood in front of him. "What were those that I just signed?"
"Oh, uh, those? Those sir? What you've signed," Radar stuttered. "Well, uh, sir. They're just, uh, papers."
"I know that Radar," Henry raised an eyebrow. "What kind of papers?"
"Oh, well, these are just forms and reports that needed signatures," Radar told him. "Very imperative sir. They needed them, sir."
"Alrighty," Henry felt that there was something else that Radar wasn't telling him. "Anything else?"
"Oh, uh, yes sir," Radar took one of the forms and showed it to Henry. "You also signed a form. Stating your approval of engagement party we're holding in the 4077th."
"Wait a moment," Henry had to double-take. "Did you say engagement party?"
"That's the only kind sir," Radar said.
"Well, which horse's patoot is the engagement party for?" Henry queried.
"You should know sir," Radar remarked. "You signed it."
"Radar?" Henry was getting suspicious as he put his hands on his hips. "Could it be that you're trying to hide something from your dear Colonel?"
"Uh, yes sir," Radar stuttered. "That is, I have Colonel Blake, sir."
"Then would you mind telling me which two guys in this outfit are having this engagement party?" Henry demanded an answer.
Radar had to sigh and take a deep breath before he made the reveal. "Engaging party's for one Major Peterson and one Major Houlihan, sir."
"Peterson and Houlihan?" Henry was a little shocked. "They've officially been engaged?"
"I've heard it too sir," Radar nodded.
"Well why couldn't they just come up and tell their Colonel in person, rather than just sign some form approving such party to take place," Henry wondered.
"You know regulations and whatnot sir," Radar told him.
"Right. The last thing this outfit needs right now is for my fling to end up in the clink," Henry sighed at this "Alrighty. I understand Radar. Thanks for letting me know."
"Will that be all sir?" Radar looked at him casually.
"Well, unless you got anything else to tell me, then I don't see any other reason to continue this discussion," Henry said. "That'll be all Radar. Carry on."
"Right sir," Radar was about to leave, but he then saw Andrew and Margaret walk into the office. "Oh, sir, also, Majors Peterson and Houlihan want to see you. About those medical files, they got from Tokyo. Sir."
"Well Radar, let them..." Henry trailed off when he saw the two Major already standing in his office. "...in. Thanks, Radar."
"Anytime sir," with one last salute, Radar walked out of the office and left Henry alone with Andrew and Margaret.
"Well, I see you two have managed to return all hunky-dory," Henry told them. "And you've got those medical files that were needed, right?"
"Yes Colonel," Andrew nodded as he put the folder onto Henry's desk. "Here you go, sir."
"Thanks a bunch, Major," Henry took the folder and put it on the shelf behind him. "Oh, by the way, Radar tells me that you two are engaged."
"That's right sir," Andrew confirmed. "It's probably a big surprise."
"You can bet your Aunt Fanny on that," Henry admitted.
"That's not all sir," Margaret told him. "The Major here got me this engagement ring. Take a look."
Margaret showed the ring to Colonel Blake, who was startled by the ring she was wearing.
"Holy cow! That's some real artificial ruby, ain't it," Henry commented.
"Yes it is sir," Margaret stated. "It's the best ring that I could've gotten."
"I can tell," Henry could see just how happy Margaret was today. "I see that you're in a pretty good mood today Major Houlihan. It's a sight for sore eyes."
"Well, you can't blame me for that," Margaret laughed. "You'd be happy too if you had gotten a ring from the woman you got engaged to."
"Yup. Funny that you mention it," Henry felt like sharing. "When I proposed to my wife on our first date, I got her a ring. Kinda like the one that you got. Only it was an amethyst gemstone instead of ruby."
"I see," Andrew mused.
"Uh-huh. And to think it cost me every penny I had at the time," Henry sighed. "But it was worth it. The wedding went off without a hitch."
"You're telling me," Andrew said.
"Well, thanks for letting me know about this," Henry said. "I'm just surprised that you didn't get a ring, Major Peterson."
"Yeah, well, I would've gone with sapphire, since that's my birthstone," Andrew confessed to him. "But they had no sapphires in Tokyo, so I decided to go without one."
"Don't worry too much about it darling," Margaret assured him. "I promise you that I'll find a sapphire ring for you to wear."
"That is 'awfully' considerate of you dear," Andrew smiled. "Thanks for that."
"Your quite welcome."
"Alrighty. I'm glad we had this talk," Henry then decided to bring up. "Hey, by the way, I know this would've come up eventually, but have you told Frank about this yet?"
"Well, I'm planning on telling him about it with Margaret," Andrew exclaimed. "I just hope that he doesn't take it too hard."
"I understand," Henry stated. "Frank would end up sending a report to HQ about things being array around these parts. So I don't blame you for being cautious."
"No doubt about that," Andrew laughed before settling down. "Anyway Colonel, that's all we have for now."
"May we be excused, Colonel?" Margaret asked him.
"I believe we've finished our little discussion here," Henry admitted. "Very well, you two can be dismissed."
"Yes sir," they both said simultaneously before giving him a proper salute.
Once they did that, the two Majors turned around and walked out of Henry's office, as they were heard discussing how they were going to break this to Frank, and how he'll react to it. Henry just shrugged his shoulders as he got himself comfortable in his chair and waited for something else to take place...
IN THE MESS TENT - 12:48
It was now lunchtime at the M*A*S*H 4077. At one of the tables, we see Frank sitting all alone, still playing that little game that his former reception gave to him as a gift. He was intrigued by it, considering how he was laughing and giggling while playing with it.
He was too focused on it that he didn't notice Andrew and Margaret enter the mess tent, to tell Frank the big news that they have to share with him. It wasn't until they caught their attention that he decided to shift focus away from it.
"Hey, Frank. There you are," Andrew got his attention. "We need to talk."
"Oh, uh, hi Major Peterson. And Major Houlihan," Frank put the game to the side for now as he looked at them. "How was your trip to Tokyo."
"Oh it was just fabulous Frank," Margaret gushed. "We had the best time there when we weren't taking care of business."
"That's nice to know, Margaret," Frank then decided to share with them. "Hey, did you see this nice game my former receptionist gave to me?"
"No Frank, we-" Andrew started but Frank cut him off.
"It's a gift that she sent for me," Frank showed him. "All you do is move the BBs into the holes, and that's it."
"Uhhhh..." Andrew has an awkward smile on his face, not sure what to think about how the woman was a hussie. "That's very nice Frank."
"Yeah, especially with a girl like that," Margaret scoffed. "Look at her Frank. She's wearing skimpy shorts. She's a hussy."
"Well Margaret, don't knock it till you try it as I like to say," Frank defended.
"I think that's very obscene Frank," Margaret gave him the truth.
"Well I didn't ask for your opinion Margaret," Frank snorted. "How about you Major Peterson? Wanna try it?"
"Uh, no thanks. I think I'll pass," Andrew had his hands up as he had to get them back on topic, with what needed to be shared. "Anyway Frank, there's something we need to tell you, and involves what we did in Tokyo."
"Well what did you do in Tokyo," Frank asked. "Whatever it could be can't be too drastic."
"It isn't. Not exactly. You see, when we were in Tokyo, Margaret and I went to this store, and I bought Margaret uhhh...well, you better see for yourself," Andrew told him before looking towards his fiancee. "Margaret? Would you mind?"
"Of course," Margaret gleamed as she showed Frank the hand with the ruby in it. "Look, Frank."
"What is it?" Frank was a little confused. "A ring?"
"Yes Frank," Andrew nodded. "It's a ring."
"And that's supposed to be a ruby? Margaret, those things are worth a fortune at least. My wife bought one for me on our birthday last year. Only mine had a pearl in it instead of a ruby, since that's my birthstone," Frank told them.
"Frank, this isn't just a ring," Margaret revealed to him. "It's an engagement ring."
Frank was shocked to hear that as he looked at them with complete and total surprise. "What? An engagement ring?"
"That's right Frank," Andrew confirmed. "It's an engagement ring."
"So...does that mean...?" Frank tried to ask, but he was unable to finish his sentence.
"It means we're officially engaged Frank," Margaret told him.
"Right...does this mean you two are...well...you know," Frank uttered. "Getting married...?"
"Well, not yet Frank. This is just to show that we're engaged," Andrew remarked. "As of now, we don't know when our wedding should be, or when this war finally comes to an end. But this is to show that we're engaged."
Frank didn't say anything afterwards as he sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. He had trouble wrapping his head around it. He knew that Margaret grew very close to Andrew to the point where she and Frank broke up, but this was something else. Were they doing this a little too soon? Should they have given some thought beforehand?
Then again, they've been a couple for several months since the court-martial charges were officially dropped. Still, Frank was in a state of disbelief.
"Well, Frank? What do you think?" Andrew asked him.
"Do you love the ring, Frank? Frank?" Margaret queried. "Frank, how does the ring look?"
Afterwards, Frank finally found his voice and gave his compliments. "I think it looks outstanding Margaret."
"You 'really' think so?" Margaret smiled.
"Hey. Have I ever lied to either of you?" Frank had to ask. "Uhhhh...uh congrats to both of you."
"Well, thanks for the gesture Frank," Andrew said out of flattery. "We're both very happy about this."
"We are really happy about this," Margaret added.
"Hey, you guys are happy, I'm happy," Frank shook both of their hands.
"Well I'm glad you feel that way," Andrew grinned. "Because tonight, we're going to be having an engagement party, and you are cordially invited to it, Frank."
"Engagement party? Me? Invited?" Frank couldn't believe his ears.
"Yes Frank," Margaret beamed. "Why shouldn't we invite you. We're your friends."
"And besides, I don't think it's fair that you should be left out of it," Andrew remarked. "So you're invited too."
"Well, that's fascinating," Frank murmured as he grabbed his game. "Uh, if you two will excuse me, I should be going."
"Alright," Andrew tugged on his collar. "I'll see you tonight, maybe."
"Yeah. See you both tonight, Majors," Frank got up from his seat and made his way for the door.
When they saw him leave, they noticed how quick he was going with walking away from the area. Could it be that he was upset and didn't want everyone else in the mess tent to see him throw a fit? It's possible, considering how Frank acts usually. Still, they were relieved to have gotten it out in the open.
"Do you think he's taking it hard?" Andrew had to ask.
"Maybe, but I'm sure he'll be alright," Margaret assured him. "He is a grown man after all."
"Yeah. Same with me," Andrew chuckled. "I'm a grown engaged man."
"And I'm a grown engaged woman," Margaret then showed her white teeth towards her fiance. "Anyway, shall we get some lunch honeybunch?"
"Ready when you are, my little buttercup," Andrew smirked as the both of them were holding hands.
With that, they walked towards the line to get their lunch. This was going to be a fascinating experience. That's for sure...
IN POST-OP - 15:23
Sometime later, in Post-Op, we see both Andrew and Margaret. They haven't seen Frank at all since they told him the news during lunch in the mess tent. So it's likely that he's trying to cope with this new revelation.
At the moment, while Andrew was checking the patients, Margaret was seen talking to a couple of nurses about her engagement. They never would've thought that Margaret would be engaged to someone, especially to a nice-looking Major like Andrew. The way the head nurse was gushing about Andrew got the Major to blush a little, out of flattery, and out of modesty.
"You should see him, girls. I mean, he's been here for a while, but now that we're engaged, you [really] have to admire his physique. He's got the shoulders of a warrior, a pair of dancer's legs, and a cute little tushy for a behind," Margaret gushed. "I never noticed it before, but now that we're engaged, I'm delighted to see my fiance in a true blue American way."
"He must be some kind of a dreamboat, considering how you two have been dating previously," Nurse Baker crossed her arms.
"You don't know the whole story Baker," Margaret continued. "His arms are so muscular, they're built to lift like a Sherman tank. Isn't that right, Andrew?"
"Well now, I wouldn't say that," Andrew rubbed his neck modestly. "I'm not that perfect."
"I beg to differ, with how built you are," Margaret told him as he came over. "Look at this man. Isn't he something?"
"Yeah, he's something alright," Nurse Able said sheepishly.
"He's kinda cute," Nurse Bigelow remarked. "It's no wonder why you two are engaged."
"I wouldn't be engaged to just anyone," Margaret gushed some more. "Andrew is no wimp at all. He's all man."
"Oh cut it out Margaret," Andrew told her shyly. "You're making me blush."
"I'm just telling the truth is all," Margaret said sweetly.
"Wish my boyfriend could be all man like Mr. Bigshot Dreamboat here," Nurse Baker admitted. "He's pretty skinny and is only good as a G.I. and nothing else."
"Well Baker, some girls have 'em, and some don't," Margaret told her before she started laughing.
"And I guess she has me in that case." Andrew laughed heartily with her as the nurses started to laugh nervously at this.
At that moment, the door burst open, and it was revealed to be Klinger and Father Mulcahy. 'Apparently', they had heard the news about the engagement, and they needed to congratulate him for it.
"Major, we just heard the most outstanding news," Father Mulcahy said first.
"Is it true sir," Klinger queried. "That you and Major Houlihan are engaged?"
"Yes Klinger, it's true," Andrew sighed. "We're engaged."
"Gloriosky indeed," Mulcahy remarked. "I want to give you two my congratulations for reaching this moment in your lives."
"Well, we appreciate the compliments Father," Andrew said shyly. "Thanks a lot."
"So have you set the date yet," Klinger asked. "Regarding the wedding?"
"Hold on there Klinger, we haven't decided on that yet," Andrew told him. "We are just engaged. When we decided on when the wedding should be, we'll let you know."
"Well, alright sir," Klinger sighed before facing Margaret. "But when you decide on the date, let me know and I'll loan you my wedding gown, Major Houlihan."
"Well, that is very thoughtful of you Klinger," Margaret said.
"And I'd be more than honored to betrothed you two together," Father Mulcahy informed them.
"Thanks, Father. That would be a big help for both of us." Andrew thanked on his behalf and the behalf of his fiancee.
"Anytime, my fine son," Mulcahy nodded. "Now if you'll excuse us, we better make preparations for the engagement party that Captains Pierce and McIntyre told us."
"Be sure to see you later tonight you two," Klinger said.
"Right. See you tonight Klinger, and Father," Andrew waved his hand as they headed for the door.
"What surprises me is that everyone seems eager about this party," Margaret threw out that comment once Klinger and Father Mulcahy left.
"It's not every day that the 4077th throws an engagement party for just anyone," Andrew remarked.
"I suppose you have a point, Andrew," Margaret chuckled. "Anyway, should we check out more of the patients together?"
"After you Margaret," Andrew insisted as they went back to work.
They could only wait for the party to take place sometime tonight. They were gonna be in store for several surprises when it takes place. It'll be a night to remember for everyone...
IN THE OFFICER'S CLUB - 19:35
It was now nighttime. And in the Officer's Club, it seems that the engagement party that was thrown for Andrew and Margaret was underway. From the looks of it, everyone was having a swell time.
Father Mulcahy was playing a dance melody on the piano, Klinger was behind the counter serving as the bartender, Henry Blake was at one of the tables, having gotten himself drunk from all the booze that he had, Andrew and Margaret were admiring how much of a good time everyone was having, and Radar was dancing with Kelleye.
As for Frank, he was sitting at the counter, drinking some bourbon. He had already drunk one bottle and he was currently on the second one. It was likely a way of drowning his sorrows from what was revealed to him. Hawkeye and Trapper weren't in the Officer's Club at the moment, since they had to get something essential to the engagement party.
Andrew and Margaret were sitting at the table that a drunken Henry was located.
"Boy, you know something you two," Henry slurred. "Our Major Peterson is growing up."
"Well sir, I've been wanting to grow up for quite some time," Andrew was flattered.
"I'm serious Andrew. That is your name, is it?" Henry asked in a stammer, to which Andrew had to nod. "I couldn't think of a better man to be engaged to Major Hot Lips Houlihan here than you. Lemme say that it's a privilege to have you two engaged."
"That is flattering sir," Margaret had to confess. "And to think of all this time, I've been constantly going over your head due to how much of an inept spineless fly-swatting boob you are as a commanding officer."
"Ain't it obvious? You have 'army' in your blood," Henry gargled. "It'd make sense that you'd get a general involved whenever things go array for us here."
"I can't argue with that," Margaret smiled. "My dad taught me everything I had to know."
"So they tell me," Henry slurred.
"Yeah, in any case, we're glad to be engaged," Andrew moved on. "And we appreciate this engagement party that was thrown for us."
"But mister, you haven't seen nothin' yet," Henry staggered. "A cake is on the way."
"What cake?" Andrew and Margaret asked simultaneously.
Henry didn't even get to say anything when the door slammed open, and entering was Hawkeye and Trapper; the former was in a tuxedo while the latter was wearing his kimono robe. In their hands was the engagement cake that they had prepared for this occasion.
"Surprise," both of them chimed in unison.
"Hey," Andrew felt his eyes widen. "That's the cake?"
"Not just any cake Andrew," Hawkeye reiterated. "It's an engagement cake."
"Engagement cake?" Margaret queried, sounding just as shocked.
"Yeah. What do you think an engagement party is without the cake," Trapper asked dryly.
"Well guys, this one certainly takes the cake," Henry laughed drunkenly at the pun he just used.
"Mmmmm," Andrew felt his mouth water as the cake was placed in front of them. "That cake sure looks scrumptious."
"You kiddin'," Trapper huffed. "I could become a diabetic if I try to eat that cake."
"Besides, this cake was prepared to completion by the cooks in the kitchen tent," Hawkeye told them. "And we made sure they used real ingredients and not the crapola that they use for the dreck in the mess tent."
"Because the last thing we want is for this cake to take like the rest of the dreck served in this hell hole," Trapper retorted.
"I'll say, it sure looks nice," Margaret commented. "Not to mention nifty."
"Nifty is a good way to put it, my dear," Andrew said nervously.
"Anyway, we tried to find some rings for you two," Hawkeye informed them. "But no Korean merchants were selling any."
"Turns out they don't sell them during business hours," Trapper added. "So we had to settle with just the cake."
"That's nothing to worry about," Andrew insisted. "Margaret already has her ring. And I can always wait to get one with a sapphire on it. I can be patient."
"They say that patience is a virtue," Henry gargled. "Well, that's nothing compared to the patients we get regularly. Well, you know? The incoming wounded?"
"We know Henry," Hawkeye humored him. "In any case, you look tanked."
"I think you need to lay off the booze, Henry," Trapper insisted.
"No more for me, thanks," Henry stammered. "I'm driving."
This got Hawkeye and Trapper to laugh hysterically while Andrew and Margaret had to roll their eyes in annoyance at this.
"Anywho, I think we should cut the cake," Hawkeye suggested after settling down from his laughing fit.
"Just a minute buster. Let's hold our horses," Henry slurred. "It's their cake. I say that Andrew and Margaret should have the first piece together since they're the engaged couple."
"Yeah. Henry has a point," Trapper admitted. "No matter how drunk he is currently."
"Right. So I guess Margaret and I will cut our first piece together," Andrew said as he grabbed a knife. "Do you want a piece of cake, my dear?"
"Sure I do, my darling," Margaret gushed. "After you."
Giving her a warm smile, Andrew went and cut two pieces of cake, one for himself, the other for Margaret. Taking a couple of plates, Andrew gave Margaret one and kept one for himself, as he put the respective cakes onto the plates.
"I gotta hand it to them, they're better at cutting cakes than Frank is," Hawkeye stated. "They didn't perform malpractice."
"You could say that it was a piece of cake," Trapper joked with a dry smirk.
"Alright. Now I'm gonna check this out," Andrew took a fork and tried his first piece. Needless to say, he was fascinated. "Wow. This is good. Try it, Margaret."
"Right," Margaret nodded as she did the same thing that Andrew did. "Mmmm...this is scrumptious."
"We'd like to believe it ourselves you two," Hawkeye told them. "Now we should get our slices."
"I call the one with the chocolate frosting Hawk," Trapper insisted.
"I'll see about that Trap," Hawkeye huffed.
And so the two captains decided to have their share of the cake. They were also courteous enough to offer one for Henry, which he drunkenly accept. Things were going smoothly for them.
Meanwhile, in the center of the officer's club, Radar and Kelleye were still dancing together, and the nurse had to admit, Radar was becoming superb with this.
"You want to know something Corporal," Kelleye commented. "You're dancing better."
"Gee, uh, thanks ma'am," Radar thanked her bashfully. "I'm learning by mail. Heh heh. You wanna dip?"
"You sure about that Radar," Kelleye asked. "You might hurt yourself."
"I can jump out of the way," Radar insisted, as the nurse decided not to argue about it.
And then there was Frank, who had just about finished his second bottle of bourbon as he wiped his mouth and put the empty bottle onto the counter. Feeling the need to have a third drink, he slammed his fists onto the table to get Klinger's attention.
"Corporal! I want another bottle of bourbon on the double if you don't mind!" Frank requested loudly.
"Sir, you can't be serious," Klinger gave him an incredulous look. "This would be your third bottle tonight."
"Don't argue with a superior officer Corporal! Get me that bottle of bourbon, and that's an order," Frank demanded. "Unless of course, you wanna be demoted to Private soldier! Do you copy!?"
"Coming right up sir," Klinger sighed as he gave the Major his third bottle of bourbon. "Here you go, Major."
"Alright. Put it on my tab," Frank stammered. "I'll pay for it later."
"Whatever you say, sir," Klinger rolled his eyes as he walked away from behind the counter.
The cross-dressing Corporal had to inform Andrew about this, seeing that he really must be upset about the big news that he was told earlier today. He saw Andrew with his fiancee eating their cake while Hawkeye, Trapper, and Henry were having their cake. In the latter's case, since he was too drunk to lift his head, he ended up planting his face onto the cake, as he was knocked out cold.
"Sirs? Sirs?" Klinger got their attention. "Can I speak to Major Peterson, please?"
"Yes you may Klinger," Andrew gave him his full attention. "What can I do for you?"
"Sir, you gotta talk to Major Burns for me," Klinger pointed out. "He's drinking his third bottle of bourbon tonight, and he's upset. Do you think you could talk to him?"
"I had expected this to happen," Andrew sighed as he stood up. "Alright. I'll talk to him about it."
"That would be appreciative sir," Klinger called out to him as Andrew walked over towards him. "Remember, every minute counts!"
Back at the counter, Frank was slamming his third bottle of bourbon tonight, and he slammed the bottle onto the counter. It was then Andrew got his attention.
"Hey Frank," Andrew greeted. "Klinger told me you were having a date with the bourbon."
"Well, well, well, if it ain't Mr. Bigshot himself," Frank stammered grumpily as he looked at him. "What do you want? Shouldn't you be with your lovely fiancee?"
"Well Frank, I was told that you've been drinking your sorrows," Andrew sat down next to Frank.
"Yeah. So I am. What's it to you?" Frank huffed.
"Frank, are you going to be okay?" Andrew asked. "Do you feel alright with everything that's going on?"
"Why sure I am. Of course, I'm fine," Frank stammered. "Never felt better. Just peachy. Don't worry about a misfit like me. Everything is all hunky-dory."
"It doesn't look like it to me," Andrew deadpanned. "Frank, that's the third bottle of bourbon you've had today. Don't you think you've had enough?"
"Well, now that you mention it, I don't think I can hold it in for long," Frank slurred.
"Of course," Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look Frank, I want you to know that I'm sorry if your upset about this."
"Who said I'm upset? Upset about you getting engaged to the lovely Major Margaret Houlihan?" Frank gargled. "I'm happy for you two. No, honest. I am."
"Yeah," Andrew sighed. "Frank, I want you to know that I am aware that things weren't always easy for us. And I know things were pretty sour when I first came here. But I want you to know truthfully that I'm willing to put that behind us. Do you understand?"
"Of course Major. I understand perfectly," Frank gargled. "You know, I never told you this before, but you are a damn good Joe."
"Well thanks, I guess," Andrew tugged on his collar sheepishly.
"I'm being honest. You are one of a kind," Frank stammered. "And to think that I had wanted to court-martial you for the time you saved Major Houlihan's life when she was drowning in the creek. You know what I'm talking about, Andrew?"
"Yes Frank," Andrew nodded. "And to be perfectly honest, I'm willing to bury the hatchet and not think about that to ease the tension that once stood between us."
"You know something? I deserved every insult you gave me that night," Frank slurred. "I think I went too far with that one."
"That may be true, but I want us to put that behind us for good," Andrew sighed. "Look, I'm not willing to bear a grudge for the smallest mishap. It just isn't in me. So I'm not going to fret about it at all."
"Well that's good," Frank murmured. "Because truth be told Andrew, I always found the two of us to have a foundation of a friendship."
"I know," Andrew deadpanned. "So why don't you lay off the bourbon for the rest of the night? You've had enough."
"Well, if you say so Major," Frank gargled. "Know that I'm truly proud of you and Margaret."
"Well, thanks for that," Andrew thanked him for the third time today.
By then, Father Mulcahy was just about done with the melody, and he decided to play another one. This one was a slower more mellow number, one that caught Margaret's attention. She remembered hearing this number when she and Andrew were dancing; the same time that Andrew gave her that ruby engagement ring as a gift. She was in such a good mood, that she had to dance with her fiance again.
Getting up from her seat, she went over to Andrew to get her attention. "Andrew? Do you hear what the Father is playing?"
"Uhhh...I think so," Andrew listened carefully. "Didn't we hear this song before?"
"Yes silly. It was when we went dancing and you proposed to me that ruby ring," Margaret reminded him.
"Oh yeah. That's right," Andrew remembered what she was talking about.
"It reminds me of that one night we went dancing." Margaret had to ask. "And I'm hoping that we could dance to it again."
"Ah, of course," Andrew had to stand up and clear his throat before asking in a low tone manly voice. "May I have this dance, my dear?"
"Yes, you certainly may, darling," Margaret gleamed cutely as she grabbed his hands and went to the center to dance. "I want this to be a moment we'll always remember."
"I was going to say the same thing sugar," Andrew said seductively.
From there, the two Majors started dancing as if they were attending a ballroom dance. Needless to say, they were really good and the sight of it alone was impressive.
Meanwhile, Frank was just sitting near the counter, watching as the two of them were dancing. At that moment, Hawkeye and Trapper decided to check up on him to see how he's doing.
"Everything okay Frank?" Hawkeye questioned.
"What my comrade is trying to ask is if your roger, doctor Frank Burns," Trapper elaborated.
"Oh yes. Yes, I'm having a swell time you two," Frank answered them. "Good idea for a party guys. An engagement party that is."
"Well, we were just thinking about throwing one all week," Hawkeye quirked. "We just didn't know when and how."
"We could throw one for you if you like Frank," Trapper suggested sardonically. "With plenty of decorations, whatever you may like."
"No thanks, guys. I'm all set," Frank staggered. "My wife is already back at home."
"You are all romance you devil," Hawkeye smirked.
"I've been told that many times over," Frank slurred.
"I think we got the message," Trapper retorted while rolling his eyes.
"I still can't believe that I once tried to court-martial Major Peterson," Frank murmured. "All because he saved Major Houlihan's life."
"Yeah. Those were the good ol' days, weren't they," Hawkeye asked teasingly.
"You said it," Frank murmured, not thinking about what he was saying. "When the three of us were war buddies."
"We fired guns, rode in tanks, and learned how to use a howitzer together. Just the three of us, Frank," Trapper snorted sarcastically.
"Good times," Frank uttered under his breath.
It was then Frank took a good look at Radar dancing with Kelleye. Suddenly, something sparked inside of him as he wanted to take action.
"You know somethin' guys," Frank started to slur as he pointed. "I had my eye on that for a long time."
"Who? Radar?" Hawkeye guessed.
"Surely you aren't speaking about little Radar, are you?" Trapper asked in a huff.
"Not him," Frank shook his head. "Nurse Kelleye."
"Nurse Kelleye?" Hawkeye raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure guys," Frank insisted. "Look at her. The curve of her Gluteus Maximus. The red fullness of her lips. Not to mention her cute-looking pigtails. It's every man's dream come true."
"Awww Frank, you're drooling again," Trapper remarked dully. "Would you like Uncle Trapper and Aunt Hawkeye to get you a bib?"
"Preferably a lobster bib," Hawkeye added.
"You can hold the lobster bib. I'm gonna make my advance towards her," Frank stood up. "Well, here goes nothin'."
While chuckling, Frank staggered over to where Kelleye and Radar were dancing. All while Hawkeye and Trapper stared with amused smirked.
"Think he's gonna try to go for the tush," Hawkeye wondered.
"Dunno for sure," Trapper shrugged. "Let's find out."
Both of them were heard imitating Frank's laugh as they watched Frank make a fool out of himself and dance with Kelleye.
Speaking of, Frank giggled as he approached Radar and Kelleye with a look of determination in his drunken little eyes.
"Hey, 'cuse me," Frank got their attention. "Can a fella cut in?"
"Who?" Radar asked in confusion.
"Me," Frank said. "I wanna dance."
"Uh, sorry sir," Radar shook his head. "I don't dance with ranking officers. No offense."
"Not with you Corporal," Frank reiterated. "With Nurse Kelleye."
"Oh," Radar understood. "That's different. Knock yourself out."
"I'll try not to Corporal," Frank told him as Radar separated from Kelleye, and Frank took his place. "Hi, Nurse Kelleye!"
"Oh, uh, hi," she greeted him rather awkwardly.
"You wanna know...you wanna know something Kelleye," Frank chuckled drunkenly while dancing with her. "I think it's fair to tell you that I've admired you for some time now, and in more than a professional manner."
"Oh, thank you, sir," Kelleye smiled sheepishly. "I always thought you admired Major Houlihan."
"I did. But she's now engaged to Major Peterson," Frank admitted in a slur. "But you. Oh ho ho. You're [really] a hotsie-totsie."
"Oh, well I'm flattered Major," Kelleye felt a slight blush come up from that compliment that came out of nowhere.
"I thought so," Frank gargled as he continued to dance with her.
"Is Frank dancing with Nurse Kelleye?" Margaret looked confused by this as she was dancing with Andrew. "I think he's trying to flirt with her, just like he did with me before we became a couple."
"Yeah. I know. But that's okay," Andrew gave her a logical explanation. "He's just trying to lift his mood from hearing how we're engaged. Let's just leave him to do what he feels entitled to do."
"I suppose your right, darling," Margaret sighed, not bothering to think of it any further. "I'm just surprised by it is all."
"Me too dear," Andrew agreed as they continued to dance.
It was then Frank wanted to turn the heat up with this dance melody, so he approached Father Mulcahy without ever letting go of Kelleye and requested.
"Come on. Pep it up, Father," Frank slurred. "Let's liven up the party, huh?"
"Well okay Major," Father Mulcahy shrugged.
And so the Father played the melody louder and faster this time. Frank was getting carried away by it. One minute, he was dancing wildly with Kelleye, even getting a few kisses on her soft-looking cheeks. The next minute, he found himself stammering away from Kelleye and he ran into the slot machine, where he pulled down on the lever before collapsing onto the floor, where he was knocked unconscious.
From the looks of it, the bell on the slot machine started ringing like crazy, meaning Frank must've got the jackpot unintentionally. This was officially confirmed as coins started pouring out of the slot machine.
Just the sight of him collapsing from being drunk got Father Mulcahy to stop the music as Hawkeye and Trapper approached the 'drunk-out-of-his-mind' Frank and looked at him.
"Is he gonna be okay?" Kelleye asked, still feeling flattered by what Frank said to her.
"Oh yes Kelleye," Hawkeye nodded. "He's okay. He's just rusty from having fun while drinking bourbon and forgetting his troubles."
"He'll talk to you tomorrow for sure," Trapper told him. "That is if he'll be able to remember all of this. Frank can't hold all of this bourbon in."
"Like how Henry can't hold in that booze he had," Hawkeye motioned him to the knocked-out Henry. "Henry seems to have taken the cake."
"I should get him back to his tent, guys," Radar offered.
"Good. You take Henry," Hawkeye grunted as he and Trapper got Frank onto his feet and his arms on their shoulders. "And Trapper and I will take ol' chicken feet here back to the Swamp."
"Kay sirs," Radar approached Henry and got him on his feet. "Klinger, help me with the Colonel."
"Got it Radar," Klinger accepted as he helped Radar with getting Henry onto his feet. "Let's get the Colonel back to his tent to rest off the booze."
"Yes Klinger," Radar got a whiff of Henry's booze breath. "Gee whiz. Holy mackerel. That's a lot o' booze."
"No kidding," Klinger agreed. "Let's go."
And so Radar and Klinger got the Colonel back to his tent, while Hawkeye and Trapper got Frank back to the Swamp. Needless to say, this was one engagement party that nobody could ever forget about...
IN THE CENTER OF THE COMPOUND - 22:25
It was now the dead of night at the 4077. Most of the people stationed there were in their tents sleeping away, except for those not on nighttime detail in Post-Op or elsewhere.
Klinger, in particular, was standing sentry duty tonight, as he was taking a stroll with his rifle over his shoulders. He was heard muttering under his breath, but because he was being so quiet, he sounded like he was speaking in mumble. He didn't let anything deter him from his post.
At the Swamp, the door opened, and stepping out of the Swamp was Frank Burns. He needed to use the restroom, judging by his expression, even though he was still drunk. Klinger was right near the Swamp when Frank slammed the door behind him. This got Klinger's attention as he whipped around to see who that was.
"Halt! Who goes there?" Klinger demanded an answer.
"I gotta go to the john!" Frank slurred.
"Don't pull a fast one on me, Major Burns," Klinger told him. "You gotta give me the password, bourbon drinker."
"BURSTING BLADDER!" Frank yelled as he pushed right through like a drunk, making a beeline for the latrine.
"Close enough for jazz," Klinger didn't bother to apprehend him as he let him go on through.
He saw Frank open the latrine door and went in before closing it behind him.
"Be nice to the rats," Klinger hollered. "It's their mating season!"
It was then a light shined right onto Klinger's face. Feeling like he was on Broadway, Klinger abruptly broke out into a brief musical number.
"Swanee," Klinger sang with some good chops. "How I love ya, how I love ya! My dear ol'..."
"Hey, Klinger!" A female voice shouted, getting Klinger to cease the song that he was singing before he got a good look at the person who shined that flashlight on him.
It was none other than Kelleye, and she had a very confused look on her face. Klinger was able to recognize her without hesitation.
"Oh, hey Nurse Kelleye," Klinger uttered. "I wasn't trying to sing like I was on Broadway if that's what your wondering."
"Yeah," Kelleye decided not to acknowledge that as she said. "Wasn't that Major Burns that I just heard?"
"Sure did," Klinger directed her to the latrine. "He had to go to the latrine. Saying that he had a bursting bladder or something like that. Probably from all the bourbon that he drank."
"I see," Kelleye uttered. "It was surprising the way he acted in the Officer's Club. Calling me hotsie-totsie and whatnot."
"His way of saying your beautiful Kelleye," Klinger guessed as he decided to change the subject. "Now what are you doing out here?"
"I have to get to Post-Op," Kelleye remarked. "I have to get to my post in five minutes."
"Oh. Then, by all means, go right on ahead," Klinger allowed her to pass on by to Post-Op.
"Thanks, Klinger," she thanked him.
"Your welcome Kelleye." Klinger returned the gesture as he watched her enter Post-Op.
Once she was gone, he went right back on sentry duty, keeping his eyes open. He decided not to pay attention to the latrines that Frank was in. There's no doubt that Frank was going to be in there for a while...
IN ANDREW'S TENT:
While that was going on, we see Andrew in his tent fraternizing with his new fiancee Margaret. They had enjoyed the engagement party for what it had to offer, and now they were spending some quality time together in Andrew's tent. Just like always, they were having their usual kissing sessions. It was no surprise by this point.
They spent the next few minutes or so kissing on Andrew's cot. Afterwards, their lips separated and they looked at each other with those lusty heartstruck gazes in their eyes. They were happy about doing this, especially since now they were engaged. They were both fortunate to be at the same M*A*S*H unit while being an engaged couple.
"Oh Margaret," Andrew found himself swooning. "It makes me so excited to know that we're officially engaged."
"Me too Andrew," Margaret smiled dreamily. "We just have to wait for when our wedding should take place."
"We'll probably have it once this war is over," Andrew shrugged. "That I can promise you."
"I hope so," Margaret remarked. "Because this ruby ring is wonderful."
"I know," Andrew smirked seductively. "It's just as red as your beautiful lips, my dear."
"You sure know how to charm me, darling," Margaret said softly.
"It takes one to know one," Andrew told her. "I love you so much buttercup."
"I love you so much too honey," Margaret returned the gesture. "Shall we continue kissing?"
"Sounds alright to me," Andrew shrugged casually. "I'm all for it."
And so they resumed kissing as if nothing ever interrupted them. They would continue to do this for a few more moments or so...
Meanwhile, in front of the latrines, it would appear that Frank was finished with doing his business in there. He had opened the door and staggered about the compound.
He was right in front of the Swamp which he was going to enter. But before he could, he found himself staggering away from the Swamp, as he kept moving until he was right in front of Andrew's tent. As soon as he was right in front of it, he collapsed onto the ground with a loud thud.
Just the sound of that thud was enough to get Andrew and Margaret to stop kissing since it caught their attention.
"What the hell was that?" Margaret queried.
"Either it's someone practicing to faint, or a package delivered here fell right out of a jeep," Andrew took a wild guess.
With that, they got off of Andrew's cot and went out the door to see who had just fallen right in front of Andrew's tent.
As soon as they stepped outside, they saw that it was Frank, who was lying helpless on the ground, which got the two Majors startled.
"Hey! It's Frank!" Andrew said as he went over to check his pulse.
"What's he doing out here this time of night?" Margaret asked as she rushed over.
Andrew had felt a pulse in Frank, meaning only one thing.
"He's unconscious," Andrew stated. "Probably from all the bourbon that he had tonight."
"What I don't get is why he was doing outside of the Swamp," Margaret expressed her confusion.
"I'm willing to guess that he needed to use the latrine," Andrew made a guess. "Then when he was done, he felt himself staggering from still being drunk. And then he probably collapsed right outside my tent."
"You know something, that seems like a reasonable answer," Margaret rubbed her chin thoughtfully.
"Yeah," Andrew nodded before looking at Frank again. "In any case, I suggest we get Frank back to his cot in the Swamp. He might get run over by a jeep if he's left like this."
"I suppose your right," Margaret sighed. "Alright. Let's get him on his feet."
"Roger," Andrew obliged as they went over and grabbed Frank's arms and lifted him back onto his feet. "Okay, Frank. On your feet."
They heard Frank muttering under his breath as they couldn't make it out. They decided not to pay attention to it.
"Gosh," Andrew commented. "Frank must be a heavy sleeper if he's able to sleep through this."
"You're telling me," Margaret grunted. "He's out cold. That must've been from the bourbon."
"Yeah. If a shellfire attack doesn't wake him up, nothing will," Andrew groaned.
"No kidding," Margaret retorted in agreement. "Come on. Let's get him to bed."
"Right behind you," Andrew nodded as they escorted Frank back to his cot.
It was clear that today had been anything but normal for them. But that's not a probably. Plenty of unusual events has taken place at the M*A*S*H 4077, even if it's not the incoming wounded being shipped there from the front. And the engagement party that took place tonight was no exception.
In any case, the two Majors would continue to put up with everything the war upon them, casualties or otherwise. They were just happy to be engaged. That's all that mattered to them...
END OF CHAPTER 45...
Whew! It took me a total of three days to finish writing this chapter! In addition to burnout, I have gotten sidetracked, as if I've been losing interest in writing this, which has to do with the sluggish quality of the chapter. Still, I hope you enjoyed this chapter regardless.
Now, the stuff I said in the author notes, in the beginning, I'm gonna try to live up to. Not to mention there are things that I've grown tired of using over and over again. So that's a given. Not to mention the next chapter will give some focus on the chemistry between Andrew and Frank; something that I've always had an interest in displaying. I can promise you that the sugary syrup of Andrew and Margaret will be toned down in most chapters unless it's important to the chapter's overall plot.
One other thing, as a result of why it took this chapter so long to get posted, I might end up updating this story infrequently, meaning not as often as I once did. So don't be surprised if it takes longer for me to update this story with a new chapter.
Anyway, for the next chapter, a plane ends up in the M*A*S*H 4077, likely one that was used during the Korean War. Aside from that, Frank lets his ego get to him as he claims to have flown one of those planes before and takes it for a spin, with Andrew tagging along. With that, the chemistry between them unfolds with bickering and arguing, and problems arising from such. And some other stuff will take place too. How will this go for them? What'll happen to them? Find out, next time readers!
For now, only if you like, you can leave a review for this chapter. Nothing else to say about that.
Aside from that, that's all that I have for this chapter. So until next time, I do hope you all take care of yourselves. And on that note, thanks again for reading everyone!