Hello there, ladies and gentlemen! This is the 47th chapter of this story!
Now, let me get this out in the open. The reason it took longer to start this chapter was that I had to do some research; tons and tons of research, since this chapter depicts a new type of surgery that hasn't been done at the M*A*S*H 4077 before, at least not in the series. In this case, it's gonna be an 'aural' surgery, involving loss of hearing or deafness.
To put that into effect, I had to incorporate as many details as I can, such as the fact that army soldiers are prone to deafness more than civilians, how it can damage the middle ear, how surgery could help repair it, the tools needed for it, etc. There's also the fact that the show has depicted deafness canon-wise before. I mean Father Mulcahy succumbed to deafness in the series finale, and so did Klinger in a season 7 episode, albeit temporarily.
I'll get to Klinger later. But for now, the focus will be on the surgeons requiring a certain surgical instrument needed to operate, along with how the surgery should be done. This will also include the usual typical humor that was shown in the first three seasons. In addition to that, the character who goes deaf will be a wounded soldier who has gone deaf in the ears from artillery practice, along with a minor bleeding head wound.
With all that said and done, let's start the chapter. How will things go? Will the doctors and nurses at the 4077 be able to perform ear surgery in tympanoplasty? And just how FAR will things be taken to be able to succeed in this new kind of operation? Find out now readers!
AT THE M*A*S*H 4077 - 11:38
It was a brand new day at the 4077. The sound of choppers filled the air, and a couple of ambulances pulled up into the compound. This meant only one thing; casualties were arriving in the camp, as everyone was made fully aware of this. It was then an announcement on the P.A. system was made.
"ATTENTION, ALL PERSONNEL! WOUNDED IN THE COMPOUND! REPEAT, WOUNDED IN THE COMPOUND! ALL SHIFTS REPORT TO OR IMMEDIATELY, ON THE DOUBLE!"
From that moment on, all available surgeons and nurses got themselves ready for OR, as the corpsmen went to retrieve the wounded in triage, depending on how severely wounded they were. Things were gonna get busy in OR for everyone.
In no time at all, every available surgeon and nurse was in OR, working a rather hectic shift. And by the looks of it, there seemed to be a whole platoon of casualties needing their undivided attention. There was chatter heard, and the surgeons were making comments about how crazy this OR session was getting.
"Boy, the wounded are surely piling up for us today," Andrew was the first to comment as he was stitching up a man's wound that was already treated.
"Well, you know how things are here Andrew," Hawkeye said, extracting some shrapnel from his man's belly wound. "Our hands are tied up by this whole platoon of casualties that we got today."
"In my case, I got my hands all covered in blood," Trapper retorted, treating his man's blood clot. "It's more than enough to please Dracula."
"Well, that's how things are here," Henry was handling his man's bowel. "This is what you should expect from being drafted out here."
"Anyone who doesn't know that by this point must be dumb," Andrew deadpanned.
"Nurse! Get me a kelly clamp for this man's elbow wound!" Frank demanded from his nurse.
"There's your idiot Andrew," Hawkeye told him dryly.
"But Major, that's not necessary," the nurse informed him.
"Last I checked nurse, I was in charge of this patient," Frank retorted. "So get me that kelly clamp!"
"Yes doctor," the nurse complied anyway as she gave Frank the kelly clamp.
"Hey Nurse Bigelow," Henry suggested to the nurse Frank was working with. "It would also be a good idea to help Frank with cleaning out that elbow wound."
"While you're at it Bigelow, be sure to clean out Frank's mouth," Hawkeye retorted.
"Lord knows he needs it," Trapper added.
"Oh, mind your 'own' patients, guys," Frank snapped before looking at Bigelow. "Nurse. Get me a lap sponge."
"Sponge," Bigelow gave Frank the sponge that was needed to clean out the elbow wound.
No one else said another word as the next few minutes were spent treating the wounded that they had currently.
Afterwards, Klinger came into the OR masked up with some important news for the surgical staff team about what just came up.
"Sirs, an ambulance just pulled up outside," Klinger announced. "There's one more wounded soldier in there that needs medical attention!"
"Can anyone go out and check on him?" Hawkeye questioned.
"I'd love to Hawk," Trapper told him. "But I'm already tied up with handing this man's blood clot."
"Henry, what about you?" Hawkeye asked.
"Well Pierce, I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment," Henry grunted. "I'm up to my elbows in this man's bowel."
"Frank?" Hawkeye queried.
"Oh get him yourself Pierce," Frank lashed out at him.
"Oh right, forgive me," Hawkeye retorted sarcastically. "Asking you for help would be like getting the camp mutt to apply anesthesia on a patient."
"Colonel?!" Frank hollered.
"Just go check on this soldier, Pierce," Henry grumbled, still handling his man's bowel.
"Oh fine," Hawkeye looked towards the nurse who was aiding him. "Nurse Baker, clean out this guy's wound for me."
"Yes doctor," Baker obliged as she took over while Hawkeye was able to walk out.
"Ah what the heck, I can check on him too," Andrew sighed. "Nurse Able, close him up for me, will you?"
"Yes doc," Able took over for Andrew.
Andrew then walked out with the Captain to see this latest wounded soldier that just came in. This latest casualty was going to be very unique for the 4077th to be receiving...
As soon as they were outside, they approached the ambulance and saw that the back doorway was already open. The person who had opened it was a sergeant, who had the wounded soldier with him in the ambulance.
The soldier in question was a Corporal, and based on the amount of blood on his forehead, it was clear that he suffered from some head wound. A gauze was wrapped around it before being shipped to the 4077th, but by this point, blood was starting to leak through the gauze, showing a red puddle right where the bleeding is.
"Captain, Major, we got this Corporal here who's suffered a head wound," the Sergeant showed them the Corporal. "He's part of the same platoon that the rest of the men your treating came from. We've already patched it up earlier, but I recommend him getting that head wound retreated."
"That figures," Andrew sighed as Hawkeye approached the Corporal and tried to talk to him.
"Alright, listen Corporal uhhh..." Hawkeye read the dog tags that the Corporal was wearing around his neck. "Corporal Richard Dowell? Do you have any idea how this head wound happened?'
"What?" the Corporal asked, looking confused.
"How did you get this head wound?" Hawkeye repeated his question.
"I'm sorry doc. I can't hear you over the buzzing and ringing going off in my head," Corporal Dowell exclaimed to him.
"Uh Sergeant, what happened?" Andrew queried, seeing this to be a huge concern. "Did anything else happen to him?"
"Well, aside from the head wound, which came from a shrapnel piercing his forehead, he was also practicing heavy artillery fire," the Sergeant explained. "He was doing just fine one moment. And the next thing we know, an artillery fire struck us, causing him to fire back. And the loud noise that came from it resulted in him losing his hearing along with the wound. As far as I'm concerned, the noise level for the heavy artillery fire was 185 dB."
"What?" Andrew was shocked. "Are you sure about that?"
"Yes. According to what he told me," the Sergeant nodded. "He's also having difficulty understanding conversation in a noisy place like this, understanding speech is hard, needing to ask others to speak slowly and loudly or sometimes repeat what was said, usually hears muffled speeches and sounds, can't hear high-pitched sounds, and has trouble distinguishing between the sounds of s and f, between p and t or between sh and thin speech."
"In other words, this patient is suffering from severe deafness in addition to this head wound," Hawkeye guessed in annoyance.
"When you put it that way, yes," the Sergeant said simply. "He also had to turn up the radio speaker to the jeep to hear what was being given to him."
"Terrific. This soldier happens to be deaf and has trouble hearing us," Hawkeye gripped in irritation. "What could that possibly mean?!"
"It could be signs of suffering from tinnitus," Andrew mused. "Either that or the eardrum in his middle ear is badly damaged."
"Well whatever it is, hopefully, it'll stay with him until the war is over," Hawkeye retorted sarcastically. "Wasn't this man suppose to be wearing ear muffs?"
"He was supposed to Captain, but there weren't any spare ear muffs for him to wear," the Sergeant told him.
"So that's how he probably lost his hearing," Andrew figured. "Now what we need to figure out is how badly damaged his ears are."
"We'll find out in no time," Hawkeye then requested. "Sergeant, get some corpsmen to bring a stretcher for this man to be carried on and bring him into Pre-Op. His head wound will be treated in there."
"Yes, sir," the Sergeant obliged.
"Also, I'm gonna need someone to give an x-ray of this man's skull, to see where the ear damage is exactly," Hawkeye insisted. "Well make all the diagnostics when we see the x-ray photo."
"I'm on it sir," the Sergeant gave him a salute before leaving to get a couple of corpsmen with a stretcher over, along with someone to help with taking an x-ray photo of the Corporals' skull.
"And Andrew? Get Margaret over to Pre-Op," Hawkeye instructed. "I'm gonna need her help with rubbing alcohol on this man's head wound before patching it up with a new bandage gauze since this one is worn out."
"Certainly Pierce," Andrew nodded. "I'll get on it right away."
With that, Andrew went inside the building to get Margaret to help out as Hawkeye waited for the corpsmen to show up with that stretcher to get Richard into Pre-Op. They had no idea how bad this man's hearing was, nor did they know the damage that was made with it. They would find out about it soon enough...
IN PRE-OP - 13:04
Currently, in Pre-Op, Richard was sitting on a table with Hawkeye keeping him still while Margaret rubbed in some alcohol onto his head wound, while Andrew was there to supervise them. After the alcohol was rubbed in, Margaret made sure the wound was cleaned out before patching it up and wrapping a gauze bandage around his forehead.
She made sure it was on tight enough so it wouldn't come off, but not too tight to the point where it would cut off the circulation to his brain. Not that it was important, since the bigger problem with Corporal Dowell was his hearing or rather, lack of.
"Steady. Easy does it," Margaret said calmly as she finished up. "And there. Now your head wound has been patched up and cleaned out."
"Now if I were you, Corporal, I'd keep off my head for a few days to let it heal," Hawkeye told him. "Unless of course, you prefer not to do so."
"Really doc, I wish I could understand you," Richard remarked. "But all I can hear is that same buzzing sound that I've been hearing since that demonstration of the heavy artilleries earlier before I got this head wound."
"We know," Andrew spoke in a way to make him understand. "But rest assured. An x-ray photo of your skull and the damage done to your ears is on its way."
"X-ray?" Richard queried in confusion.
"Mhmm," Andrew nodded.
"Believe me, Rich," Hawkeye tried to explain. "Once we see the x-ray, then we can figure out what we can do about your hearing."
"You can trust them, Corporal," Margaret assured him. "You're being treated by the best doctors in all of Korea."
"Uhhhh...I wish I could hear again," Richard murmured.
"We all hope you can hear again too," Andrew told him slowly.
They didn't say anything else as they waited for the x-ray photo to finally show up so they can figure out what to do about his hearing.
At that moment, Trapper came into Pre-Op with that x-ray photo that he was given for the Corporal.
"Hey Hawk," Trapper greeted him. "How's the kid doin'?"
"Well, his head wound has been bandaged up," Hawkeye answered. "Still not sure about his lack of hearing Trap."
"You wanna know something? I've got the x-ray photo of this kid's skull," Trapper gave him the photo. "That might answer your question."
"Oh great. I was wondering what was delaying this delivery," Hawkeye wondered as he put the x-ray photo up into the light and observed it. "Alright, let's see here...hmmm...Oh no."
"What is it," Andrew raised an eyebrow.
"I'm gonna need you to look at this Andrew," Hawkeye motioned him to the photo. "His inner ear past the middle ear and eardrum has some damage. Seems all that loud artillery noise has infected the inner ear on both ears. Although the left ear is more damaged than the right ear, both of them have been affected."
"So it is tinnitus," Andrew rubbed his chin. "His inner ear is where the cochlea and auditory nerve is located. And since it's been affected, it's probably serious."
"Serious?" Trapper had a grave expression on his face. "You don't suppose it damaged his nerve center, do you?"
"If it did, then he could lose his hearing permanently," Hawkeye told him.
"That kind of thing would lead him to an automatic discharge, would it," Andrew queried.
"Sure it would," Margaret answered. "You can't be in the services if you are unable to hear correctly and if you're affected by tinnitus."
"What do you suppose we do about it," Trapper wondered.
"Well for starters, we could have him shipped to Tokyo General Hospital," Hawkeye suggested. "They may give him some treatment and therapy."
"Oh come on Pierce," Andrew sighed. "That could take weeks. By the time they finally get to it, he might lose his hearing permanently."
"Well, what do you have in mind," Hawkeye queried. "He's already been given a diagnosis and observation, so we can't send him to an evac hospital."
"Now this may seem like a crazy suggestion," Andrew started. "But why don't we perform surgery on him here."
Hawkeye and Trapper were unsure of that as they exchanged looks of uncertainty, showing that they may have some doubts about it.
"Us performing 'aural' surgery on this kid," Hawkeye queried. "Are you sure?"
"Well, what choice do we have," Andrew told them. "It's either that or have him wait until he's given help, which by the time it does happen, it might be too late."
"But we don't specialize in 'aural' surgery," Trapper pointed out. "And they especially don't perform it in a mobile army surgical hospital."
"Well sometimes we have to take a chance you guys," Andrew exclaimed. "Even if we aren't professionals with aurale surgery, we're still surgeons. This means we can still learn the fundamentals of performing aurale surgery, even if we have to go by the book."
"Andrew has a point you two," Margaret agreed with him. "We're still a medical unit. Why shouldn't we try this out for ourselves? It would be better than to have this man lose his hearing permanently."
"Besides, I've read some books about 'aural' surgery before," Andrew admitted. "We don't have a lot to lose from this."
"Aside from our hearing," Hawkeye retorted. "Because Lord knows we'll lose our hearing after restoring this man's hearing."
"Even if we don't, we need the right surgical instruments to perform aurale surgery," Trapper remarked. "Do we have these kinds of instruments? And did we get a requisition for them?"
"I think we did," Andrew rubbed his chin. "I believe we have some in the supply tent. Don't we Margaret?"
"I believe we did honey," Margaret remembered. "I signed the requisition form for those surgical instruments in case we ever did need them."
"Perhaps we should consult with Radar about this," Andrew insisted. "He might have been keeping track of the requisitions we got, including the surgical instrumentals for aural surgery."
"Ah, Radar," Hawkeye quirked. "The little rascal who helps up with getting whatever we need when we need it, like that incubator and whatnot."
"If anyone can help us with it, Radar can," Trapper agreed with him.
"Yeah," Andrew nodded. "Radar should be in the supply tent right now if you want to speak with him about the surgical tools for aural surgery."
"Well? What do you say Trap?" Hawkeye looked at his partner.
"I say we give it a shot," Trapper told him. "Just like the guy said; what do we have to lose."
"Great. Then you two can go see Radar while Margaret and I get this soldier into Post-Op for now," Andrew remarked.
"Doesn't sound like a bad deal to me Hawk. What about you," Trapper wondered.
"Eh, I guess we can do that while we let these two Majors bring Corporal Richard Dowell here to Post-Op," Hawkeye shrugged. "You mind telling me where the supply tent is again?"
"I thought you knew," Trapper remarked dryly. "How are we gonna find our way?"
"Why don't we ask for directions," Hawkeye suggested.
"Sounds good to me," Trapper agreed with him.
With that, the two Captains left Pre-Op to find Radar in the supply tent to see about those aural surgical instruments and if they have them on hand.
"Honestly Margaret, those two are the biggest jokers to have ever set foot in Korea," Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Don't I know it, Andrew," Margaret sighed as she shook her head.
"Anyway, let's get this Corporal into Post-Op," Andrew suggested. "Shall we do the honor, my dear?"
"Certainly darling," Margaret beamed. "Let's get him to Post-Op."
With that, the two of them helped the Corporal onto his feet and they escorted him to Post-Op for the time being. They could only hope that something could be done so they could perform aurale surgery on him...
IN THE SUPPLY TENT - 13:36
"Hey, Radar," Hawkeye greeted as he and Trapper found Radar in the supply tent. "We're so glad to see you. Trapper and I thought you were drafted to another war."
"You've come to the right place," Radar murmured. "Only time you two see me is when you need something."
"Don't be ridiculous Radar," Trapper brushed off. "We just love keeping our favorite Corporal company."
"Can't we see you and not require something Radar," Hawkeye asked. "You're our favorite company clerk and we love seeing you at work."
Radar sighed and rolled his eyes. He knew this was an act and that they needed something from him. They've done something like this before, so he was able to catch on fast.
"Kay guys. Quit foolin' me," Radar told them. "You want somethin' from me. Now, what's this about?"
"Well, now that you mention it, there is one thing that we need from you," Hawkeye brought up and got to the point. "We want to know where the surgical kit of tools is?"
"Surgical tools?" Radar raised an eyebrow. "What for?"
"For the kid, we're treating in Post-Op," Trapper told him. "There's this kid who's got a damaged inner ear called tinnitus, and we need the aural surgical kit that came in through requisition."
"Oh. Oh yes, guys. I've got that marked down," Radar told them. "I have forms which include that kit. Why d'you need it anyway?"
Hawkeye had to take a deep breath since what he had to say next was rather serious.
"We have a patient in Post-Op whose inner ear has been damaged," he informed him. "And his inner ears have developed tinnitus as a result of heavy artillery fire without any ear muffs on."
"Gosh. That sounds serious," Radar gasped. "But why d'you have to treat him here? At M*A*S*H? Can't he be shipped out?"
"That's what we figured should be done. But Andrew thinks differently," Trapper explained. "He feels that if we ship him out now, it'll be too late for an operation to take place. And he will lose his hearing permanently."
"So as a precaution, he suggests that perform 'aural' surgery on him here," Hawkeye finished.
"Wow. I...I see. I can see why guys," Radar uttered. "But gosh, you've never done ear surgery before. Then again I'm no doctor. So I dunno anything bout it."
"We know, and we're the doctors. And, indeed, we never did 'aural' surgery before," Hawkeye remarked. "But like Andrew said, sometimes we have to take a chance. It's either this or has our patient lose his hearing permanently."
"I get it," Radar nodded. "So you guys need a kit of ear surgery tools, right?"
"If it's not too much trouble Radar," Trapper said. "We hope you won't charge us for anything. A measly $2.50 at most."
"No need Trap," Radar shook his head. "It's on me."
"Well lookie here. Radar does good business with us, his favorite Captains," Hawkeye smirked.
"Yeah," Trapper agreed. "Well, Radar? Get us the aural surgery instruments kit."
"Right," Radar obliged as he escorted them to a part of the supply tent where the kit was being held at currently.
It only took a few minutes, but Radar was able to find what they were looking for since he made sure that it was organized and neatly placed on the shelf. On top of the kit, it said 'Inner Ear Aural Surgical Instruments Kit', if only for convenience.
"Here is it sirs," Radar took it off the shelf and showed it to the two captains. "Kit you're lookin' for."
"Ah," Hawkeye read what was written on the top. "Inner Ear Aural Surgical Instrument Kit. This is just what we're looking for."
"Good job Radar," Trapper complimented him. "When it comes to finding things, we can always count on you."
"I do my best sir," Radar smiled. "Now, I gotta check thru it to see if all tools are in there."
"Yeah. We need to make sure everything is in there," Hawkeye understood this.
With that, Radar opened up the kit and looked through all of the instruments that were supposedly in there, along with a sheet of paper that listed out all the tools that were in there. After examining it for a few minutes, Radar decided to inform the two captains about something.
"Oh, sirs. Seems every tool's in here," Radar told them. "Cept..."
"Cept?" Hawkeye and Trapper queried, hoping that he'd finish that sentence.
"Well...cept for elevators," Radar revealed.
"What? Your jokin' Radar," Trapper couldn't believe his ears.
"No. That is, I'm not Trapper," Radar shook his head. "Elevators are the only tool not in here."
"Hold on. Let me see that sheet of paper," Hawkeye took the paper out of the kit while Trapper took the kit. Hawkeye then read off the paper and looked through the kit with his partner.
"Okay. So let's see what's in here," Hawkeye started to read. "We've got Cannulas. Curettes; single and double-ended."
"We can't be surgeons without both of 'em," Trapper added.
"There's Forceps. Hooks. Luer Lock Connectors. Needles," Hawkeye continued reading. "Picks and Knives. Rasps. Retractors. Scissors. Speculums. Suction Tubes. And there are tissue nippers. That leaves us with Elevators."
"Just checked 'em," Trapper shrugged. "Everything is in there except for the elevators, just like Radar said."
"Wow, your right Radar," Hawkeye gasped. "There are no elevators."
"Now what kind of a surgical kit for aural surgery would be without elevators?" Trapper asked.
"Dunno guys," Radar said. "Must've made a mistake or somethin'. Should've had them in here with the others. But I guess not."
"Well, that doesn't sound very elevating," Hawkeye retorted. "Where would we be without elevators?"
"Hawk? Remind me to not allow us to go to another hotel since they don't have elevators for us," Trapper told him jokingly.
"Because elevators are easier to use than the stairs," Hawkeye added in such a quirk manner.
"So what can we do about this Radar? There's a patient in Post-Op with tinnitus whose inner ears are damaged, and we can't do a thing without the elevators," Trapper decided to complain.
"Don't ask me, sirs. I just take in shipments," Radar sighed. "Perhaps Colonel Blake might've something."
"Ask Henry? Ha!" Hawkeye snorted. "Asking Henry for some help is like abandoning a baby in a garbage can."
"True sirs," Radar admitted. "What d'you want me to do?"
"I'll tell you Radar," Trapper instructed. "You can go on the phone, and get a hold of anyone in Korea that has an elevator that can be used as a surgical tool for 'aural' surgery."
"Right sirs. Get on the phone right away," Radar then brought something up. "Meantime, what d'you think should be done?"
"Well, we haven't given it much thought," Hawkeye did some thinking. "How about you whip up a couple of forms and get Henry to sign them?"
"One form can permit us to perform 'aural' surgery. Another to approve permission for a permission form," Trapper told him. "And lastly, one to give us permission to go find elevators while you get a hold of someone who might have some elevators."
"We're thinking about taking a trip to the Quartermaster Corps," Hawkeye remarked. "That must be where Captain Sloan's office is located. If necessary, then we'll take another trip to the 728th Evac Hospital in Pusan."
"Good idea sirs," Radar said. "I'll get to makin' those forms right now. Then I'll look to finding elevator tools somewhere. In Korea, you know."
"You do that Radar and we'll tell everyone your the best company clerk to have hit Korea," Trapper patted Radar on the shoulders.
"I've heard that already," Radar remarked.
"Ah, so there's no need to," Hawkeye teased him.
"Right," Radar tugged on his collar. "I'll get forms ready for Colonel Blake."
And with that, Radar left the supply tent as he went off to make those forms for Henry Blake to sign. Once he left, the two captains left with the kit in their hands as they planned on bringing it into Post-Op for now. They had no idea what they were gonna do about this at the moment, but it's likely going to be a crazy experience for everyone...
IN COLONEL BLAKE'S OFFICE - 14:56
It took a while, but Radar was just about done with making those forms that he was issued to write out for Henry to sign. With that in mind, Radar went into Henry's office, in which Henry was just about ready to go golfing for a bit with no casualties coming in since everything in Post-Op was being under control. Before he could do so, Radar had to make sure that Henry could sign those forms.
"Uhhhh, sir?" Radar got his attention.
"What is it Radar?" Henry queried. "Are we getting any casualties?"
"Uh no sir," Radar shook his head. "Just need you to sign some forms."
"Oh course," Henry said. "If it ain't casualties, then it's something that needs to be signed."
"If you wouldn't mind sir," Radar gave him the clipboard and the pen.
"Alrighty," Henry took the clipboard and pen. "Might as well get this done and over with since I'm still here."
"Yes, sir," Radar commented as Henry filled out the forms.
"There we go. All of them have been signed," Henry gave Radar the clipboard and pen back before asking. "By the way Radar, what were those forms that I just signed?"
"Oh, uh, well, one of 'em is permission form," Radar exclaimed. "Allowing certain type of surgery to take place in 4077 M*A*S*H."
"What kind of surgery," Henry raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, well, hearing surgery," Radar told him. "For a patient in Post-Op who lost hearing. Pierce and McIntyre say his inner ear's damaged."
"You mean he's got tinnitus, right?" Henry wondered.
"Yes," Radar confirmed. "Since it never has been done before in M*A*S*H, permission's needed to allow it to happen."
"Ah, I see. And why are they requesting aural surgery to be done here?" Henry asked.
"Major Peterson's suggestion sir," Radar answered. "Saying that either it'd be done here. Or run the risk of going deaf permanently. Since guys in Tokyo General aren't always on the ball with that stuff."
"Yeah. That's true. I guess it's fine by me if that's what Peterson thinks," Henry then remembers the second form that he signed. "What was the second form I filled out."
"It's requesting permission to approve permission form for said permission, sir," Radar told him.
"Welp, that makes plenty of sense, I guess," Henry smiled sheepishly for a second before bringing up the third form that he signed. "And the third form?"
"Oh. That one's requesting permission for Captains Pierce and McIntyre to head to Quartermaster Corps," Radar explained. "Says they must see Captain Sloan 'bout requiring elevators for hearing surgery."
"Wait a minute, did you say, Captain Sloan," Henry questioned. "As in the same guy we got a hold of before with the whole incubator business?"
"The very one sir," Radar nodded.
"Oh for Pete's sake," Henry groaned. "As if that instance wasn't enough already, now they need some elevators? For what? We don't have multiple floors, so we can't use an elevator."
"Know that sir. It's a surgical tool," Radar stated.
"Oh. Well, that's different," Henry sighed in relief. "Still, I don't want them going there and making a fool out of their 'own' Colonel. You know what I mean, right Radar?"
"Sure do sir. You're our Colonel," Radar said.
"Yup. And as their Colonel, I should permit a third person to chaperone with them," Henry stated. "You know, someone to keep an eye on them regarding Captain Sloan."
"Right," Radar then asked. "Who should go with them?"
"Let's see here..." Henry did some thinking for a second before making a decision. "How about Major Peterson? Surely he's a mature grown-up. He might be competent enough to go with them."
"Uh-huh," Radar didn't think it was a bad idea.
"So Radar, make note of that," Henry then instructed. "I want you to go to Post-Op and-"
"Tell Peterson 'bout going with Pierce and McIntyre to Quartermaster Corps for elevators," Radar said at the same time as Henry. "Yes, sir."
"And meanwhile, I'll be out doing some golfing," Henry held his golf bag over his back. "You watch over the fort while I'm gone. Make sure chopper is sent for Pierce, McIntyre, and Peterson. And if you need me, I won't be available."
"Got it all down sir," Radar told him. "I'll be seein' you, sir."
"Right," Henry nodded. "See you around Radar."
"Yes, sir," Radar said before he went out the door.
Once Radar was gone, Henry took a deep breath and felt like it was time for him to go out and do a little golfing, while he had some spare time on his hands.
Welp, guess I should go golfing while I can. Henry thought. I got a feeling that things might turn hectic soon. So now's a good time as any to golf a bit.
With that thought in his mind, Henry walked out the door with his golfing bag over his shoulder as he went golfing for a bit. He just hoped things at the 4077 won't be as hectic as the whole incubator scenario was...
IN POST-OP - 15:08
Meanwhile, in Post-Op, some of the doctors and nurses were in there to check up on the patients that were operated on. One of the patients there was Corporal Richard Dowell who was still wrapped in that gauze bandage around his forehead. Despite that, he was still deaf and would likely be suffering from tinnitus for a while.
Watching over him currently was Andrew and Margaret, and observing from the sidelines was Frank, who was still skeptical as to why a deaf patient hasn't been shipped to an Evac Hospital yet.
"Corporal? How are you feeling?" Margaret asked him.
"Huh?" Richard was still having trouble with hearing.
"Still not able to hear well, huh?" Andrew spoke to him in a manner that he'd hear him.
"Yeah doc," Richard admitted. "I still hear the buzzing. Why won't it go away?"
"It's because you have tinnitus," Andrew told him slowly. "Currently, we are working on getting you aural surgery at the 4077 rather than being shipped out to Tokyo General."
"Are they gonna make me hear again? The doctors, that is," Richard asked pleadingly.
"We'll try whatever we can Corporal," Andrew told him so he'd hear him.
"I just can't believe it," Frank huffed in disappointment. "We're keeping him here. It's as if we're planning to give him 'aural' surgery at the 4077."
"That's exactly what we're doing Frank," Andrew deadpanned.
"Well, it's disgraceful. Utterly disgraceful," Frank retorted. "He should be shipped off to Tokyo General like all the other patients who require 'aural' surgery."
"Well Frank, this man's inner ears are badly damaged, that by the time he gets to Tokyo General, it might be too late," Andrew explained to him. "In other words, he might go deaf permanently."
"That isn't our problem though," Frank snorted. "We treat chest wounds, thigh wounds, and other wounds on the bodies of these soldiers. We can't waste time attempting to perform 'aural' surgery on this goldbricker."
"Okay. One Frank, this guy isn't goldbricking. He was practicing heavy artillery. And the loud noise of the artillery fire combined with the head wound he got resulted in him going deaf," Andrew pinched the bridge of his nose. "And two, the arrangements have been made. We're performing 'aural' surgery on him here and that's final."
"Hmph," Frank decided not to say anything else as he turned away from the Corporal.
"I think he must have it," Margaret commented. "To think that this poor man lost his hearing. I'd probably go crazy if I were to be unable to hear anything, and I got tinnitus just like this Corporal."
"I can't think of one person who wouldn't go insane from losing his or her hearing Margaret," Andrew remarked.
"Tell me about it, Andrew." Margaret agreed with him.
Nothing else was said as they continued to watch the Corporal who was lying in the bed that he was placed in. At that moment, Radar came into Post-Op with some news to give to Andrew, regarding the decision Henry made with him.
"'Cuse me? Major Peterson?" Radar got his attention. "Peterson, I need to tell you something."
"Sure," Andrew turned his attention to face Radar. "What is it Radar?"
"Uh, sir. As instructed by Colonel Blake, he's authorized you to go on a trip with Pierce and McIntyre," Radar told him.
"A trip? To where," Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms. "And for what reason?"
"To Quartermaster Corps. To meet Captain Sloan," Radar answered. "And it's to get elevators we don't have sir."
"Elevators? We don't need any elevators to ride in," Andrew was confused by that.
"No sir. Meaning surgical tool elevator." Radar corrected.
"Oh. Well, I get why we'd need that," Andrew understood now. "Wait a minute, Captain Sloan? The guy they first went to for that incubator?"
"The very same Major," Radar confirmed.
"In that case, maybe it is a good idea that I go with them," Andrew admitted. "Those two are liable to mess things up if they go on and do this on their own, considering what underhanded tactics they'll use to get what we need."
"I heard that 'fore sir," Radar remarked.
"Well, when am I expected to leave?" Andrew asked.
"When chopper arrives for you, Pierce an' McIntyre, Major."
"Okay. I'll be sure to be ready by then," Andrew sighed. "And once you told the captains about this, I want you to contact the Lieutenant of the 375th Quartermaster Corps. Inform him that Captain Sloan should expect us to show up there in regards to needing the elevators for aural surgery."
"Right," Radar nodded. "Afterwards, I'll look to find if an elevator is available for surgery, as Pierce and McIntyre instructed."
"That's a good idea," Andrew smiled. "Always good to have a backup plan in case the first doesn't work."
"I 'gree sir," Radar muttered.
"Alright Radar, run along and tell those two captains about this," Andrew instructed. "And in the meantime, I'll make sure I get ready for this trip."
"Got it, sir."
And with that, Radar turned around and left to tell Hawkeye and Trapper about the trip and how Andrew is being assigned to accompany them to Quartermaster Corps. As soon as he was gone, Andrew turned to face his fiancee, as he had something he had to say before he could leave.
"Well Margaret, it looks like I'll be heading out of the 4077 for a bit," Andrew told her. "I hope to make it back after Pierce and McIntyre are done with finding an elevator."
"Oh, Andrew. I do hope you make it back safely." Margaret said.
"No worries," Andrew assured her. "I'll be fine."
"I hope so. May I remind you that you are an engaged man," she reminded him.
"Trust me. I haven't forgotten," Andrew laughed heartily. "I'll make it back safely. I promise."
"Alright. I trust you," Margaret pecked him on the cheek. "Love you, darling."
"Love you too, dear," Andrew smiled at her. "I should be back before tonight, and hopefully before tomorrow. I'll see you soon."
"Yeah. See you in a bit." Margaret smiled.
"Right," Andrew gave her one last smirk and wink before turning around and headed out of Post-Op and headed for his tent to get ready to leave.
As soon as he was gone, Margaret continued to watch over Corporal Richard Dowell, making sure he was situated and taken care of. The Corporal could only wonder if they'll ever perform 'aural' surgery on him so he'll hear again. All he could do is be patient with it...
AT THE QUARTERMASTER CORPS OFFICE - 16:49
"Can you believe it, Trap? Can you believe it?" Hawkeye gripped, as he and Trapper were walking down a hallway that led straight towards Captain Sloan's office; all three of which were in their brown Class A uniforms. "First chance we get to go here and Andrew has to be our chaperone."
Andrew seemed annoyed and offended by what Hawkeye just said. As a result, he slowly turned around to ask him a particular question. "Would you rather be chaperoned by Frank Burns?"
"Andrew's got a point there Hawk," Trapper told him. "One's better than the other."
"Yeah. I guess so," Hawkeye sighed. "Look, let's just see Captain Sloan so we can get this done and over with. Then hopefully, with any amount of luck, we might go back with some elevators for aural surgery."
"Or maybe we'll go back empty-handed," Trapper deadpanned.
"We'll just have to find out for ourselves," Andrew motioned them to the door that led to Captain Sloan's office. "Now come on. We're at Captain Sloan's office."
Hawkeye and Trapper only exchanged looks for a second before looking at Andrew again.
"Eh. Might as well," Trapper shrugged.
"Hopefully this doesn't end up like the time we tried to get an incubator for the 4077," Hawkeye remarked.
"We'll see about that," Andrew commented.
It was then they opened the door and entered the office to meet up with Captain Sloan as they had planned.
In Captain Sloan's office, we see Captain Sloan sitting behind his desk, waiting for those visitors to show up. Sloan was described as having pale skin, auburn hair, cold blue eyes, and was 5'11" in height. He dealt with the Captains once before with the incubator, and now they needed to see about getting some elevators for aural surgery.
Right on cue, Hawkeye and Trapper entered the office with Andrew escorting them in.
"Hello Captain," Andrew greeted first. "I'm Major Andrew Peterson, from the 4077 M*A*S*H. It's a real pleasure meeting you sir."
"Yes. Likewise, Peterson," Captain Sloan greeted calmly.
"And of course, you remember these two Captains," Andrew motioned. "Captains Pierce and McIntyre. They asked for an incubator once."
"Greetings Captain. Remember us," Hawkeye greeted. "You once stopped by our neck of the woods."
"I'm sure your busy with keeping up to date with the good book that you'd forget," Trapper said. "But if you must know, it's the M*A*S*H 4077."
"Yes. 4077," Sloan didn't even flinch at their tone. "Now let's see...according to what my lieutenant told me, your company clerk suggested on something that you two captains want. Which happens to be elevators, correct?"
"Yeah, that's it," Hawkeye nodded. "And we need some as soon as possible."
"Very well," the captain got out the good book. "Let's see what the good book says."
"Uh oh," Trapper murmured dreadfully. "Here we go again."
"MANSUPREQ," Hawkeye huffed.
"I think it's called the Manual of Supply and Requisition," Andrew told them. "Take a hint."
Captain Sloan didn't say anything about that, as he opened the book and looked through the 'E' section for the necessary elevators.
"Now, let's see..." Captain Sloan was heard muttering some of the tools under his breath. "Here it is; 147-stroke-L2, elevator."
"That sounds elevating enough," Andrew smiled sheepishly.
"Tool used for scraping, elevating or dissecting bones or tissues." Captain Sloan read from the book.
"And it's not the elevator that we'd ride in," Andrew said calmly.
"Uh-huh. I see," Captain Sloan murmured. "That certainly makes sense."
"What makes sense," Hawkeye asked as he and Trapper were waiting for an answer. "Are we able to get some?"
Captain Sloan didn't say a word at first, as he gently closed up the good book before staring at the captains straight in the eye and giving them the blunt response.
"You can't have one." Captain Sloan didn't hold back.
"Beg your pardon?" Hawkeye queried.
"Uh oh, I have a feeling that I know where this'll go," Trapper grumbled.
"I checked your basic equipment list. This unit has everything it's supposed to have," Captain Sloan explained. "You're not entitled to performing 'aural' surgery in a mobile army surgical hospital, and therefore, you don't need elevators."
"Well, that stinks," Andrew remarked.
"It's the way it is," Captain Sloan shrugged. "After all, having the right to perform 'aural' surgery would be a...a luxury."
"Luxury? You're kidding," Hawkeye huffed in annoyance. "Sir, we aren't asking for some curtains to hang up to give doctors privacy, especially when they are on a date in one of the nurses' tents."
"Oh, those I can let you have," Captain Sloan said.
"No kidding," Trapper spat sarcastically.
"That sounds like a great deal," Andrew smiled. "You got any curtain requisition forms, sir? I could use some curtains for when I go on my next date with Major Houlihan. We're engaged."
Captain Sloan didn't comment on that as he was focused on the requisition form that Andrew asked for. "Just use the standard S-1798 and write in 'curtains' where it says 'machine gun'."
"Neat. Thanks, sir," Andrew grinned as he took the requisition form and filled it out.
Meanwhile, Hawkeye and Trapper felt that it was happening all over again. It's bad enough that they couldn't have an incubator before, but now they can't be given elevator surgical tools for aural surgery? This was considered irritating to them.
"In other words Captain, your answer is 'no', right?" Hawkeye asked in annoyance.
"It's my job to say no," Captain Sloan told them calmly. "Just like before."
"And also like before, you do it very well." Trapper snorted.
"I said this once before, but I'll say it again," Hawkeye retorted. "I imagine you'll open up a 'no' stand after the war."
"Pierce, McIntyre, cut it out," Andrew warned them to behave.
"You once said that you never had a sick day in your life," Trapper ignored Andrew. "Is that right?"
"That's right," Captain Sloan nodded.
"That means you never been in a hospital," Hawkeye brought up. "And that means you've never had to be given 'aural' surgery for developing tinnitus in the inner ears."
"Nope. Never have gone deaf in my life." Sloan told them.
"That was your idea, wasn't it? Or was it a direct order from the Lieutenant?" Hawkeye scoffed in a snotty manner.
"Knock it off Pierce. There's no need to make this into a debate," Andrew told him. "The man is only trying to do his job."
"Thank you, Major," Captain Sloan thanked him.
"Sorry Captain," Andrew apologized.
"Thank you, Major. Sorry Captain," Hawkeye mocked as he stood up and approached a skeleton anatomical model that was in the office and checked him out like an otolaryngologist. "Sorry patient. Your inner ears have tinnitus which damaged your hearing from heavy artillery fire which was at a dB of 185-stroke-6. I'm afraid you can't have elevators, but you can have a curtain for those romantic evenings out of town. Of course, that means it'll be curtains for your hearing."
"Come on Pierce," Andrew said sternly. "Let's keep this at a mature level."
"Does the good book allow us any maturity," Hawkeye asked, walking to Captain Sloan's desk again. "Because I highly suggest that everyone here has to stand and grow up."
"Like a tree," Trapper retorted dryly.
"No, you can't have any trees," Hawkeye gripped some more as he faced Trapper. "'In fact', you can't have anything-stroke-nothing, which is not approved by STATQUOPAC. Which is enough to make you reach for AIRSICKBAG. Once again."
"Alright, Pierce! That's enough!" Andrew scolded before looking at Captain Sloan. "Captain, I'd like to formally apologize on behalf of the 4077th."
"By the way captain, you still don't have any apology forms in there?" Trapper asked rhetorically, getting Andrew to pinch the bridge of his nose.
"Like it or not Captain, we are gonna get those elevators," Hawkeye told him. "Even if we have to go over your head. We're gonna go forth and part the red tape."
"Be my guess," Captain Sloan didn't even react to that.
"Good to see there are no forms for that," Trapper retorted. "We're going to take our complaint to 728th Evac Hospital in Pusan."
"Maybe they'll provide us with some elevators to use for surgery," Hawkeye added snidely as he and Trapper stood up and walked towards the door.
"Uhhhh, I'm sorry about that sir," Andrew apologized again as the two Captains walked out of the office. "It was nice doing business with you. And I hope to hear something about those curtains soon enough."
"Likewise," Captain Sloan put that book away. "So long Major."
"Yeah, so long."
Andrew then turned around and marched out the door to catch up with Hawkeye and Trapper, as he was about to chastise them for their behavior in there.
"Pierce and McIntyre," Andrew sneered as he caught up to them and got them to halt. "What the hell is the matter with you? I told you to keep it at a mature level, didn't I?"
"Well Andrew, what do you expect," Hawkeye huffed. "He didn't allow us an incubator as it is, and not we can't have elevators to use for surgery."
"I know that," Andrew barked. "But there is always a more reasonable approach to these situations. We could've been more sensible about it."
"Alright Andrew, here's our sensible approach," Trapper snorted. "We're going to 728th Evac Hospital in Pusan, to see if they can provide us with some elevators."
"You can't be serious," Andrew growled. "Your behavior in there was outrageous. What makes you think that going to 728th Evac Hospital will be any better? Knowing you guys, you'll blow things out of proportions."
"Relax Andrew, we can sensibly handle this," Hawkeye told him. "And if we're lucky, we may not have to sock a couple of noses to do it."
"And the chances of that are highly low," Trapper added dryly. "As low as us being able to perform 'aural' surgery on the corporal."
"You know what? Fine. I don't care," Andrew placed his palms on his forehead. "You guys can do what you want, but I'm taking a chopper back to the 4077. You want to go to 728th Evac Hospital that's located in Pusan, go right on ahead. But from here on out, you two are on your own."
"That makes no difference to us Andrew," Hawkeye didn't seem fazed. "We're still gonna get those elevators."
"Even if we have to resort to drastic measures," Trapper said.
"Whatever," Andrew rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Then when you get those elevators, just let me know. Until then, I'm heading back to the 4077. See you around."
Hawkeye and Trapper didn't say anything as Andrew headed down the hallway, asking a sergeant to get a hold of a chopper to take him back to the 4077.
"You think maybe he might be onto something?" Trapper wondered.
"Probably, but it's what we have to do," Hawkeye shrugged. "So, shall we get a chopper to get us to the 728th Evac Hospital in Pusan, Trap?"
"I'm right behind you Hawk," Trapper was all for it.
And so they went to get a chopper to bring them to the 728th Evac Hospital to get those elevators that they needed to perform surgery on Corporal Bowell for.
Outside, two choppers were flying in two opposite directions; one was heading to the 728th Evac Hospital, the other for the M*A*S*H 4077. But what they didn't know was that within a certain period, the two captains would cause quite a disruption for a supply of elevators in Pusan, and it would be reported straight to the 4077th the following day...
AT THE M*A*S*H 4077 - 9:28
"Holy cow," Henry said as he was in his office with Andrew, reading out the charges that Hawkeye and Trapper were given from 728th Evac Hospital. "Insubordination, conduct unbecoming officers, violations of Articles 13 through 27, with a repeat on 26."
"Oh, that must be altering salute by placing the thumb on the nose," Hawkeye remarked, getting Andrew to slam his palm into his face.
"Along with how you stuck your tongue out at the general," Trapper added with a smirk.
"Oh for goodness sakes. I can't trust you guys for one second," Andrew told them. "Congratulations. You managed to screw up our reputation as a medical unit again. It would have been one thing if you did get the elevators that we needed, but you didn't. And that makes this worse! Now we're back at square one!"
"Andrew, settle down," Trapper said. "And Henry, there's something you should know about those charges."
"Yes. We're guilty, again," Hawkeye admitted shamelessly.
"You two want to know something else," Henry looked at them in disappointment. "General Mitchell wants you both under arrest again."
"Terrific," Hawkeye huffed. "So what are we gonna tell the casualties? We can't operate outside of visiting days?"
"Does that mean your gonna lock us up this time, sheriff?" Trapper queried.
"You know guys, I once said this previously, but if you two didn't outclass every bit of surgical talent in Korea, your tails would have been in handcuffs a long time ago," Henry informed them.
"He's right," Andrew agreed. "Had it not been for the fact that you two have saved countless lives and show how efficient you are like surgeons, Frank Burns would've succeeded in getting you two court-martialed for all your troubles."
"Oh come on you two," Hawkeye gripped. "It's no crime for doctors to try to get decent medical equipment. Even if it means getting out of our comfort zone."
"Wow," Henry read what was on the paper he got. "Did you yell 'Give me some elevators or give me death?'"
"Gosh," Andrew gasped.
"Well, it doesn't sound like anything, now," Hawkeye commented.
"Yeah," Trapper agreed. "You had to be there."
"That makes plenty of sense," Andrew deadpanned.
"There's also the fact that the general doesn't seem to get how I can't take you guys out of action, with the number of casualties we've been getting," Henry told them. "Officially, I've got to do something to punish you. So I'll leave it to you. Wh-What's a suitable punishment?"
"Why don't you try spending a lot of time with us, Henry?" Hawkeye said. "Maybe that's where we went wrong. You know how a kid misses his dad."
"Can't think of a more suitable punishment than that," Trapper agreed. "That works for me."
"Oh, that's a fine punishment you two," Andrew deadpanned sarcastically.
"Alrighty. I'll tell you what we shall do," Henry made a decision. "I'll let Major Peterson come up with a suitable punishment for you guys, whatever he can think of. In the meantime, you better suit up for Post-Op detail, to check on that tinnitus patient of yours to see how he's doing."
"Let's just hope that the patient hasn't gone deaf permanently," Hawkeye huffed as he headed for the door with Trapper.
"Goodness. You two called a one-star general a NINCOMPAC again," Henry commented as he looked at the paper again.
"Alright, you two better go to Post-Op," Andrew instructed.
"Roger doctor," Trapper said as the two Captains left Henry's office to go straight for Post-Op.
"Oh boy," Henry sighed once they left. "I dunno what to do about those two."
"Tell me about it," Andrew agreed. "Aside from that, I should be expecting those curtains that I sent for in Quartermaster Corps after filling out a requisition form in Captain Sloan's office."
"Curtain requisition form," Henry wondered. "Curtains for what?"
"Long story Colonel," Andrew sighed.
Aside from Andrew explaining it to Henry, nothing else was said amongst them, since they discussed everything that had to be talked about...
As for Hawkeye and Trapper, they walked by Radar's office, and Radar was right at his desk with a box in his possession. Radar saw the two captains pass by and he got their attention.
"Hey, sirs?" Radar called to them. "No, wait, look."
"Not now, Radar," Hawkeye told him. "We're due in Post-Op."
"Don't bother us unless it's important," Trapper remarked.
"It's important sirs. Look," Radar picked up the box and opened it. "Ta-da."
Inside the box was a supply of elevators that were needed to perform the 'aural' surgery on the corporal. When they saw this, they were astounded.
"Hey, what do you know? Radar got the elevators," Hawkeye laughed. "That surely is elevating!"
"I can't believe you did it Radar," Trapper said with a smirk.
"Believe me. It's there. As in, happy germs sir," Radar said with a smile.
"Radar, how?" Hawkeye wondered. "How did you do it?"
"Well, you know," Radar said slowly. "A little wheeling and dealing, a little horse-trading. A little of this for that."
"And we wasted our time visiting a general when our company clerk pulls through for us, as always," Hawkeye said.
"I meant what I said earlier when I said that your the best company clerk to have hit Korea." Trapper complimented.
"I do what I can sirs," Radar said out of flattery.
"By the way Radar, what kind of deal did you make for these?" Hawkeye queried.
"Well, let's just say I've channeled folks I know," Radar admitted. "And forms for movies not in theaters yet were made, and films were traded for these. That's all there's to know."
"It doesn't matter Radar. Just as long as we have the elevators." Trapper commented. "You did an outstanding job bud."
"Thanks, guys," Radar thanked them.
"Your welcome Radar," Hawkeye said.
At that moment, Andrew had overheard something in Radar's office as he stepped in to find out what it is.
"Alright, what's going on in here," he asked. "I've heard you guys talking about something in here. So it better be important."
"It's more than important Andrew. It's good news," Hawkeye revealed to him. "Radar got the elevators for us."
"Whoa. You're kidding," Andrew yelped.
"Certainly not Andrew. Take a look for yourself," Trapper motioned him to the box. "Those are the real deal."
"Gosh. I can't believe it. They're 'really' elevators," Andrew gasped. "Radar, how did you do it?"
"Let's just say that Radar here has a gift for horse-trading with others," Hawkeye answered for him. "Next thing we know, he manages to get us the elevators that we need."
"Well, it doesn't matter," Andrew shook his head. "What matters now is that you got the elevators that we needed, and we can start with the 'aural' surgery."
"Right. Where's the surgical tool kit that Radar took out earlier?" Hawkeye queried.
"On my desk sir," Radar pointed to the kit that was on his desk.
"Good. Now Andrew? Get Margaret and have her scrub up along with yourself," Hawkeye requested. "We're gonna need your help with this since we haven't done it before."
"I can do that," Andrew smiled.
"And Radar? I need you to find a book on how to perform 'aural' surgery," Hawkeye told the company clerk. "With any amount of luck, it should help us get through this operation and have it come out as a success."
"Yes sir," Radar obliged.
"And as for us," Hawkeye pointed to himself and Trapper. "We'll suit up and then scrub up for this surgery. And we'll bring the kit to OR for us to use, along with the box of elevators"
"That's perfectly fine by me Hawk," Trapper shrugged. "I just hope that we can get by the procedure."
"Believe me Trap, with this medical unit, anything is possible," Hawkeye said. "Now let's get things prepped for the aural surgery."
"Right."
With that, Andrew went to get Margaret so the two of them could get scrubbed up and into their Scrub outfits, while Radar went to find a book on how to perform 'aural' surgery on a soldier who is suffering from tinnitus in his two inner ears.
As soon as they were gone, the two captains left to get themselves ready for the operation. And they brought the surgical tool kit and box of elevators with them to put into OR. Hawkeye carried the surgical tool kit while Trapper carried the box of elevators.
They could only hope that this operation will be a success, just like any other surgery that they performed here at the M*A*S*H 4077...
A good couple of hours was spent in OR after everyone involved was prepped and ready to perform the 'aural' surgery that Richard was in desperate need of. They had Richard Dowell lying on a table, just like they do with all their patients.
They had used general anesthesia to keep him sedated and from going into shock. Using the book that Radar found, they performed the surgery as required, using all the surgical instruments required for the procedure, including the elevators.
The surgeons and the head nurse operated a gradual process. Using the knife provided, Hawkeye and Trapper worked on cutting a big enough gap in both ears to the eardrums and the inner ears; Hawkeye did the left ear while Trapper did the right ear.
From there, the surgeons worked on getting a graft on both eardrums to repair the injury, since it's a healthy tissue for the body. They made sure to use the elevators to elevate the eardrum and graft so they couldn't move while it heals.
Then they worked on the inner ear, using whatever tools were necessary for it as it was shown in the book they were going by. The surgery took at least a good couple of hours or so to get by.
Afterwards, they had made sure that everything was as it should be; stitched up and all. When they realize that it was a success, they were relieved by how they did it. Of course, just because it came out successfully doesn't mean the corporal could start hearing again right away.
It would take several weeks for the graft to merge with the eardrum membrane and allowing it to restore function and improve hearing from the inner ear. But that could be easily remedied by having the corporal be shipped out to Seoul for some hearing treatment and therapy until his hearing improves.
And when it has improved, the Corporal would likely be sent stateside to settle down after the incident that he got into. The medical crew already made the arrangements with Radar's help and got an ambulance sent over to drive the soldier to Seoul...
Currently, the corporal was resting on a stretcher that was being carried by two corpsmen. Accompanying them was Hawkeye and Trapper, who wanted to see Richard off before he leaves in the ambulance. Along with that, his ears were bandaged up with gauze after the operation was finished. So they would heal on their own.
"Uh hey doctors," Richard spoke. "What can I do for you two before I leave?"
"We came to speak to you," Hawkeye told him. "You know your lucky that we were able to perform 'aural' surgery on you without a hitch!"
"I can see that. I'm still having problems with hearing," Richard admitted. "But I want to thank you good docs for operating on me."
"Hey. Don't mention," Hawkeye commented. "We're doctors. It's in our blood. Not the blood of the patients."
"Even though we've never done this kind of surgery before, it's a good thing we did," Trapper added. "As they say, there's a first time for everything."
"Yeah," Richard nodded, pretending that he heard that as he was being loaded into the ambulance. "Well, thanks again for everything. Really."
"Anytime," Hawkeye said. "Just remember that the next time you're in our neck of the woods, don't come needing 'aural' surgery."
"Not that it matters anyway," Trapper commented. "From here you go to Seoul. And after spending a few weeks there, you get to go home. Away from this dreadful war."
"I see," Richard pretended to be amused mainly because he still had trouble hearing them as it is.
"By the way, it'll take a few weeks for your hearing to come back," Hawkeye hollered. "After that, you'll be hearing again in no time!"
"I hope so," Richard could barely hear him. "I want to be able to hear 'clearly' again."
"Hey," that voice came from Andrew, who approached the ambulance to check up on the corporal. "Glad to see you getting ready to shove off. I hope your hearing improves when you're in Seoul."
"Yeah," the corporal could only smile sheepishly.
"Those doctors did a good job on your ears," that was Margaret, who was standing right beside Andrew. "You are fortunate enough to have them operate on you. For two surgeons who've never done 'aural' surgery before, they were successful with your inner ears."
"Huh?" Richard didn't quite hear her.
"She said that they were successful with operating on your inner ears!" Andrew yelled loud enough for him to hear.
"Oh," Richard muttered.
"Well anyway, good luck with getting your hearing back," Andrew told him as the two corpsmen were ready to close the door to the ambulance.
"And have a nice trip to Seoul, Corporal," Margaret added.
"Whatever you do, do not get hit by a sniper," Trapper made a dry suggestion.
"Because then we'd have to operate on you again," Hawkeye said.
"Uh...r-right," Richard uttered before saying his last words to them. "Thanks again for your help, and so long."
After they gave their farewells, the door to the ambulance closed up with Corporal Richard Dowell in it. The two captains continued waving as the ambulance started driving out of the 4077. As soon as the ambulance was gone, Hawkeye and Trapper stopped waving and made comments about the corporal.
"You know something? I'm gonna miss that kid," Trapper admitted. "But it's better for him to go to Seoul and then back to the states."
"To be honest, I'm glad that he's leaving," Hawkeye remarked. "As much as I'll miss him, I'm happier that he's no longer here."
"Yeah," Trapper nodded in agreement.
"Well, I'm glad that's over," Andrew wiped his forehead in relief. "I'm gonna go get some coffee."
"I'll go get some coffee with you," Margaret said. "It would be smart if we get some coffee together, right darling?"
"Uh, yeah. Of course dear. That would be fascinating," Andrew smiled broadly. "After you Margaret."
"I'm ahead of you Andrew," Margaret grinned, showing those pretty white teeth of hers.
Not saying another word, the two Majors headed for the mess tent to get some coffee, as Hawkeye and Trapper watched the lovebirds take their leave. They could only wonder what fun those two engaged Majors will take part in when they get those curtains that Andrew requisitioned for.
"Well Trap, now that the kid's been taken care of, what should we do now?" Hawkeye asked him.
Trapper did some thinking for a minute or so. After seeing a couple of nurses come out of the mess tent, he came up with the perfect idea.
"Hey Hawk? How 'bout we round up some of the nurses and head to the Officer's Club for a bit," Trapper suggested with a grin. "What do you say to that?"
"You know, I like that," Hawkeye smirked. "What are we waiting for? Let's go, Trapper."
"I'm with you on that Hawkeye." Trapper said.
With that, the two of them went off to gather up some of the nurses before heading to the Officer's Club. They were glad that they got the elevators to perform the 'aural' surgery thanks to Radar, and they were happy that the surgery was a success, and left the 4077.
One could only wonder what other mishaps would take place at the M*A*S*H 4077. So many things have taken place there already as it is, so anything could happen. The people stationed there will just have to wait and see what'll happen next for themselves. No doubt about that...
END OF CHAPTER 47...
Whew. This chapter took a while for me to get started on, but it took me even longer to finish it. The reason for this is because I've been racking my brain and struggling to come up with how this chapter should go, not to mention there have been some changes made to how it would've gone originally since I had to make sure this chapter was more typical for the 1950s, and avoid being modern.
There's also the fact that I change the title of this chapter three times to match the summary to this chapter. Boy, it wasn't easy. Still, I hope this was worth the few days of waiting.
Lastly, I don't see this chapter as being as good as the previous chapters. Originally it would've depicted a new surgical practice, which in this chapter is referring to the 'aural' surgery. However, it was changed significantly in favor of more typical M*A*S*H humor from the first three seasons, and to keep this chapter from being too boring. I hope this is understandable.
Anyway, the next chapter, it's gonna be similar to the Season 5 episode 'The Most Unforgettable Characters' because it'll be Frank's birthday and nobody seems to care. On that note, Hawkeye and Trapper decided to fake an argument seeing that his moping makes him more annoying than usual, and Andrew will have some involvement too. And Henry's role will be very small in that chapter, and some other stuff will occur too. How will things turn out? Just how forgettable will Frank's birthday be? Find out, next time readers!
For now, only if you want to, you can leave a review for this chapter, or not. It makes no difference to me.
Aside from that, there's nothing else for me to say. So until next time, I do hope you guys take care of yourselves, and on that note, thanks again for reading everyone!