Chapter 1: Buttercups

At 4 Tony was already different, he built his first circuit board from the scraps he found in a box in Howard's study, Jarvis helped the 4 year old soder the pieces together. Tony left it on Howard's desk, with a note "I fix it.'' While he was years ahead of where a 4 year old cognitively should be, easily working at a 1st or 2nd grade level, his grammar wasn't quite on par with his math and science skills, at least not yet. Tuesday, the week before Thanksgiving of 1974, that was a day he remembered. Everything had changed in such a short 24 hour period, the events were seared into his brain, and the lines into his hands.

Howard had been furious that Tony had gotten into the box with the broken circuit board. The backhand sending his small body backwards into the china cupboard before dinner had not been what the 4 year old had expected. "If you think you're old enough to help, then you will join me in the shop after dinner." Howard had sneered, pouring himself a large glass of vodka. Despite the worried look on Jarvis' face and the plea's of Maria that he was only 4 and the workshop was no where for such a young child. Howard heard none of it, Tony was a Stark he was going to do as he was told and he'd already made the decision when he had gone and gotten into things he shouldn't have. Howard would not be trifled with today.

What none of them knew for a long time was that on this very day 30 years ago the Commandos had arrived back to base after a mission, but it was the first time one of them was missing. 30 years ago that day Bucky Barnes had fallen off the train carrying Zola and had been reported KIA. 30 years ago Howard learned of the death of one of his best friends, today was not a good day in the Stark house. Tony would later learn that November 13th, January 10th, March 10th and the 4th of July were the scariest days in the Stark household. Tony eventually learned to make himself scarce on the birthday and deathday of the Captain and Sergeant.

After dinner Howard had finished the vodka and had poured himself another glass, the bottle he'd cracked earlier in the day, inching ever closer to empty. Holding the vodka and circuit board in one hand, his other tightened around Tony's upper arm he walked to the workshop, dragging the small boy after him. He ignored the whimpering coming from the boy. Tony got his first permanent scars that day. Howard wasn't going to stop or slow down for the boy, he didn't have time to teach the child about tool safety. Tony, stepped on a nail, Howard didn't even remove the nail, Tony cried at first. Then came the infamous lines, lines he would hear from Howard whenever his father disapproved of him or his actions.

Stark's don't have emotions, so he better quit that sissy pants crying.

Stark's don't cry.

Stark's were not weak.

Stark's don't bend.

Stark's don't break.

Stark's are made of Iron.

So the small boy took a shaky breath and gritted his teeth, he was a Stark and he would make his father proud. He stood there helping hold and pass his father tools for the next 2 hours while his foot slowly bled onto the concrete floor of the workshop.

The jab saw was hot from the friction of cutting through the metal pipe. Howard didn't pay it any mind as he passed it to the boy blade first. Not knowing any better Tony took it blade first in his small hands, it burned, the teeth cut viciously into his skin, he yelped. Howard turned a sharp gaze on the boy. Tony grit his teeth harder.

He remained quiet for the next 30 minutes til when Howard took the saw out of his hands again the blade sliced into his palms, the cuts were deep, he still has them to this day. Tony shrieked with pain as the red bloomed across his hands, a sharp contact rocked the boy sending him sprawling. Howard had hit him again but it felt harder this time, Tony looked up even now curious, in his hand was a phillips head screwdriver. The handle of the tool and Howard's knuckles had connected with Tony's chest "Get out."

Tony stumbled to his feet limping out of the workshop and back into the house, blood dripping across the hardwood floors from his foot and hands, the nail was still embedded in his foot, he was too scared to try and remove it. He knew he had to get to the bathroom, hoping that's where they had a first aid kit. The nail hindered his walking, a lot, especially with the adrenaline wearing off, he felt the sharp stabbing pain rip through his leg with each step causing him to collapse with a sob. Jarvis found the small boy in the hallway crying as he crawled on his elbows and knees towards the washroom, blood smeared behind him. Jarvis' stomach dropped, his heart wrenching at the sight. He scooped up the small boy tending to his injuries and stitching the skin back together on his hands. He removed the nail and bandaged his foot. Keeping ice on his cheek and chest where he'd been hit. Tony had lost a lot of blood, he gave the boy a mild kid safe pain killer, water and a salty snack to help him regain the blood he had lost. He tucked the Young Master into bed leaving water and the next dose of painkillers telling him to not take them for 4 hours. He then left the room after stroking a hand through Tony's hair fondly, and cleaning up the blood that had been tracked in from the workshop, the amount of blood on the floor scaring the butler, he had a sinking feeling that this was going to be an all to regular occurrence in the future.

—

That night fate decided it wasn't quite done with the small boy, a warm buzzing woke the small child. He knew what it was, he'd heard the stories from his mom, his soul mark. He threw the covers off as he dove out of bed, immediately regretting landing hard on his foot, the pain pulling at the stitches but he really couldn't make himself care all that much. He hop-limped as quickly as he could into the bathroom flipping on the light, he fell sideways as the lightheadedness hit him, he had lost a fair amount of blood earlier. Leaning heavily into the corner where the sink counter met the wall he maneuvered the step stool in front of the mirror as best he could with his good foot. He waited for the dizzy spell to end then slowly stepped up on the stool. Though it took a bit of work with his bandaged hands, he finally wrestled his pajama shirt up above where he had felt the mark take root.

It was a circle, he froze his eyes widening as he recognized the Red, Silver and Blue shield with a star in the middle.

Captain America!

He smiled widely at the realization, even though it hurt a bit with the bruise on his face.

His soulmate was Captain America! He knew Captain America already had a soulmate Sergeant Barnes, he must be the other piece, his mom said soul marks were given for a reason. He'd grown up listening to stories about the Captain and the Commandos, his family's equivalent of fairy tales. After hearing the stories Captain Rogers and his Howling Commandos had quickly become an obsession for the small boy. He'd even gone as far as asking if three way soul connections were possible for this exact reason, his young imagination not fully comprehending the impossibility of it. The Captain and Sergeant were his heroes, soulmates who were devoted to each other and fighting for justice. All the stories Aunt Peggy had told him, the stories Jarvis had told him, the stories Uncle Tim, Gabe and Jim told him.

He knew he had the best soulmates in the universe!

Tony was elated by the mark, for exactly 3.4 seconds. Then he remembered how the stories all ended and his stomach dropped and he went white stumbling off the stool, releasing his pajama top letting it fall back down. Sergeant Barnes had died, he fell from a train into a snowy ravine in the Alps and just two short months later the Good Captain had sacrificed himself crashing the Valkyrie into the Arctic to save the eastern seaboard.

All of a sudden all the hope and joy he'd had knowing he had finally gotten his mark came crashing down. His Soulmates were dead. The missing link fate had granted his soul, the people who were going to love him and know him and treasure him through all the good and the bad, was an impossibility. The soul connection he had been looking forward to, especially after hearing Jarvis and Aunt Peggy's mark stories. He had made a connection, but it was to two men who he would never be able to know, they had died 29 years ago and that stung more than anything he'd faced that day. His 4 year old brain came to a heartbreaking conclusion as his insides twisted in a way no child should ever know; he would never be truly loved.

But Stark's were made of Iron.

He would not show weakness.

He would not cry.

He would not bend.

He would not break.

Stark's were made of Iron.

Stop that sissy-pants crying, his father's voice echoed in his head.

—

Tony hid his mark for as long as he could. 'Stark's aren't susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.' Howard's voice sounded in his head whenever he thought of bringing it up. But keeping secrets was not something a 4 year old could manage for very long. His mother saw the next week while forcing him into a sweater for Thanksgiving. She was so happy when she saw the mark not realizing what it was or what it meant.

As soon as he was dressed she steered him quickly into the living room, with a quick stop off at the wine cellar for a bottle of champagne. Howard, Edwin Jarvis, Ana, Aunt Peggy, Uncle Daniel, Uncle Tim, Uncle Gabe, Uncle Jim and Uncle Obadiah all sat in the room around a coffee table covered in hors d'oeuvres. She called for a toast, popping the bottle of 1920 Taittinger champagne behind him causing him to jump much to Howard's annoyance. "What are we toasting to Maria?" He asked, noticing Tony had been pushed forward a bit into the room.

"Tony got his soulmark!" She said excitedly "Go on dear, show them."

Tony trembled, he was very much on the spot, and in a room full of people who had been best friend's with the other two men who had held the mark he did now. He watched as Howard's face pulled into a line.

Stark's aren't susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.

"Well Tony," Howard bit out, leaning forward, waiting for the brunette boy to show them. Begrudgingly and with a bit of a struggle Tony lifted his sweater, showing off the all to familiar circle that was now a permanent fixture on his rib cage. The adults in the room gasped many of them recognizing exactly what that circle was. Howard grit his teeth and took a long sip of the vodka in his hand before standing up, " Tony come with me. I want to have a better look at that." He ground out, Tony let his sweater fall back down following Howard's lead out of the room, his vodka in hand. Confused whispers and sad eyes followed Tony out of the room. Maria didn't understand why the room had gone so still and cold, Peggy pulled her aside to explain it. Tony heard his mother burst into tears behind him. If Aunt Peggy didn't believe that Steve and Bucky were still alive then he truly was forsaken.

Stark's aren't susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.

As soon as they were out of earshot of the living room Howard rounded on him, "How the hell do you have Steve's mark on you?" Howard was red in the face barely keeping his voice level enough to not be heard down the hall. Tony had no idea, he was just as confused as everybody else, if anything he was hurt even more by the mark on his skin knowing that the two people he was supposedly destined for we're no longer alive. Howard kept pushing it though, "Do you think this is funny? Go wash that off right now."

Tony looked up at his father wide eyed, "I can't." Was all he said. Howard snarled his hand curling around the boy's wrist, yanking him into the bathroom. He roughly lifted and tossed the boy onto the counter, paying Tony no mind as his head smacked back into the cabinet. He hauled Tony's sweater off throwing it to the bathroom floor, he grabbed a washcloth dousing it with scalding water from the sink and soap. Taking a hold of Tony's wrist he yanked the boy's arm up over his head so that he could get to the soul mark on his ribs. He aggressively started to scrub at the mark trying to get it off of his skin.

Stark's aren't susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.

Howard scrubbed violently at the mark for a long time turning the skin raw and slightly bloody as the first layers of skin had been scoured off. Tony bit his lip drawing blood to keep his whines of pain from slipping out. His body reacted to the pain on instinct shrinking away from the cloth until he was pressed back into the corner where the cabinet and wall joined.

Howard finally stopped as he snarled, dropping Tony's arm back down, causing him to wince and let out a low whine he couldn't keep swallowed down when the arm hit the fresh friction burn. Howard tossed back the last of his vodka slamming the glass down angrily, "They were worth so much more. I would give anything to have them back. And here you sit, wearing that mark, having no idea how much they gave up, how much they were to this world." Howard bent down and threw the sweater at Tony. "Those two men were heroes and they got stuck with you to remember them by, a worthless, whiny, good for nothing brat, who will never know the adversary they had to fight through. I'm glad they are able to Rest In Peace, that they never have to see what a pitiful future it would have been for them with you." Howard's eyes were cold and his words cut deep. Howard left the bathroom leaving Tony on the counter to stare at the raw and red mark adorning his body, and for the first time Tony felt ashamed to be wearing their soul flooded his eyes.

Stark's aren't susceptible to the weakness of Soulmates.

Tony slunk out of the bathroom after struggling to pull the sweater on with his hands that were still bandaged from the week before. Knowing that no one was out there to see the injury flowers that, had they been alive, would be blooming on their rib cage, Sweet Briar and Peonies, right where the bloody friction burn sat on the young boy's body.

From the moment the soulmark was in place the soulmates would share a special bond, a link of sorts, a counter balance, whenever one soulmate was physically hurt the other(s) would know, flowers would bloom on them wherever the injury was on their partner. Different flowers would appear based on how the injured partner was feeling at the time, emotions they were feeling when they were hurt. A bruise, a flower; a sprain, a flower; a cut, a flower; a burn, a flower; concussion, a flower; broken bone, a flower; each flower fading as the injury healed. But if it left a scar, the flower would become a permanent fixture on the other's skin just like the scar would be, something beautiful to match the ugly.

He heard his father's voice "-no, it was just a drawing, Tony was in my study the other day. He must have seen Cap's mark in my files and drew it on himself, you know kids. He probably got caught up in all the stories we've been telling him, how Cap and Barnes were a perfect match for each other. Besides he's a Stark, we don't have Soulmates." Howard's voice was cold, the words stung, hitting Tony harder than any physical blow Howard had ever dealt him.

He wasn't worth his soulmates, they were better off never knowing him.

His mark was a mistake.

Stark's aren't susceptible to the weakness of soulmates.

At the age of 5 Tony was taking apart the Toaster, the Microwave, the VCR, the TV and anything else he could get his little hands on. He was putting them back together to see if he could combine the machine's together, could he get the TV to have the VCR in it, and could he create a microwave that could toast as well? He was a curious child and he was a Stark, his IQ was unbelievably high, according to the tests he outscored even his own father by almost one hundred points. Howard only grew colder and resented him even more for it. Freak. It was just a number yet with that number everyone changed how they treated him, everyone except for Jarvis and Aunt Peggy.

Tony had finished his project of merging the different machine's together, he walked out the front doors towards the garage where his father was supposed to be. It was the week after the 4th of July, Howard was always in the garage for the week after the 4th. Looking over maps of the Arctic yet again, planning his next trip to look for Steve's body. Each time he came back empty handed he'd go on a bender for the next a week to a month normally surfacing around the beginning of August.

"Dad!" Tony called out excitedly, he wanted to show Howard his project. He wanted to prove he could help, he was smart and competent, he wasn't a failure. Tony Stark was useful and deserving of his father's attention and affection. This would finally convince him to stay and pay attention to him. He was almost to the garage when hands grabbed him. A blow to his head knocked him out before he could yell, his body picked up unceremoniously tossed into a van, bruises forming on the side of his head.

No one would see the Buttercups and Leucojum blooming on their temple weaving into their hairline.

It wasn't the first time he was kidnapped, it wouldn't be the last. But it was the first time Tony registered that his father didn't even care enough to try and get him back. The group thought he'd be a good bargaining chip, Howard Stark's son, the CEO of Stark Industries couldn't refuse that. But Howard Stark was heartless. When it came to ransom demands, he told them that they would have a better chance getting the President of the United States to pay up, he was busy and he didn't have time to deal with his son's capture. Even when they broke Tony's left arm letting Howard hear his scream of pain as the bone snapped.

No one would see the flower wreath wrap around their arm.

Howard just scoffed. "Keep the ungrateful brat." had answered the cold slurring voice of his father. Tony knew then, that Howard Stark would never care. He was just a burden. At the tender age of 5 Tony knew with absolute certainty, he was unlovable. Aunt Peggy and Jarvis saved him just a week later, but by then the damage had been done. The bones that had been snapped were unable to be set properly, they had already started to heal wrong, so the flowery wreath of Bilberry would be the first permanent flowers on his soulmate's bodies.

—

Sweet Briar - Wounded

Peonies - Shame

Buttercup - Childishness

Leucojum - Hope

Bilberry - Treachery