A/N This fanfic is a gift for my friend Ladykeane, whose stories have inspired me for very nearly fifteen years. I highly recommend her series "The Wounded Warrior" here on fanficnet or ao3. It is not necessarily REQUIRED reading for this story, but I believe you will be able to appreciate this more if you are familiar with her work.

Otto Time Cafe: Red!
Episode One

The Demon Diner of Main Street!
(It's actually run by two demons)

The City of Townsville...a peaceful place.

That wasn't always the case, however. Many years ago, this city was beleaguered by crime, monsters, and calamity, occasionally several times in one day. Numerous were its enemies, constantly pushing it towards the brink of destruction.

The only thing standing between this lovely locale and the abyss of annihilation were three young heroines, joined by blood. They tirelessly defended the city, beating back monsters and imprisoning criminals with superhuman, supernatural abilities. Over the years, their power reached unimaginable depths and, fearing fatal retribution, all attacks on the city halted one day, never to resume. Villains retired. Monsters gave up. And even the girls' worst enemy, the Cruelest of Cruel, the creature known only as "Him"...

...now spent his days maintaining a small restaurant on the corner of Lincoln and Main.

Him sighed, placing his broom back in the maintenance closet and wiping his forehead with a large, lobster-like claw. The immortal had hardly changed in the five years since his last stunt as a supervillain, save for a slightly longer, more feminine haircut. He gazed out at the stormy view over Townsville's skyline. The rainfall provided a serene backdrop to gentle music humming from the jukebox by the door.

He closed the maintenance closet and perched upon his fuzzy stool behind the counter.

It had been five years since his last scheme against the Powerpuff Girls, but ten years since he'd last had a customer step into the Otto Time Diner. On that fateful afternoon, he had made a bet with his only regular: Professor Utonium, the father of the Powerpuff Girls.

Professor Utonium was the only person in Townsville who had dared to step into the Otto Time Diner during the entire first year it was open. Those memories played over and over for Him, and he held fast to them as though it were all he had left in the world.

Professor, on his first visit, walking in for shelter during a storm. Seeing Him at the counter, and striking up a friendly conversation. Picking up coffee and breakfast to go. Stopping by for cheesecake on the way home. This continued daily, for weeks.

Despite being an enemy of his girls, the Professor had always been a perfect gentleman to Him. Their dialogue had always been relatively cordial. Their time together had been brief, but welcomed by Him. And truth be told...well, it wasn't much of a secret, but Him had always considered the Professor charming and handsome, if a little, teensy tiny bit dense. Yet, somehow, that thick skull made him all the more endearing to Him.

The bet had been such a simple thing, really. Him admitted he had gotten a little carried away-and frequently kicked himself for ever suggesting it-but in truth, he had been eating the cost of Professor's daily special discounts himself, and just wanted an excuse to charge the man full price for once without seeming rude. He never wanted the Professor to think he was rude, heavens no.

The Professor made good on his promise to never return that day, and Him figured it had been for the best. They could've never actually gone anywhere serious with those daily visits; Even if the Professor was willing to extend a hand, his girls would have been far less forgiving. The Professor was too good of a father to put them through that, even if he somehow, by some twisted miracle, secretly returned Him's affections.

But...it had been many years since then. Would it be possible for things to change? Now that Him was, more or less, just another citizen of Townsville, he grasped onto the irrational thought, the daydream, the wish in his heart that one day soon, the Professor would come back to the Otto Time Diner.

The red demon lowered his head to the counter, obscuring his face with his claws.

He was nearly jolted out of his seat when a massive blast of lightning shook the entire establishment with immediate thunder, killing the lights and the jukebox. That bolt had to have touched down right beside his diner. Pendant lights swung in the aftermath.

Him did not fear anything as trivial and natural as a thunderstorm. Yet…the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, and not from residual static. There was no way that had been a normal lightning bolt-he'd seen a flash of green before the power cut. Him waved his claw, swirling soft pink energy through the air, returning light and music to the diner once more.

The rain bore down even harder, becoming a torrent that obscured the view of Townsville's skyline. The storm was raging now. Him feared in the depths of his being that something terrible was about to be unleashed upon Townsville, shattering its quiet tranquility for good.

Then, for the first time in a decade, the door to the Otto Time Diner swung open.

A black claw curled around the doorframe like the legs of a spider. Him immediately felt horrible, sickening dread. Another powerful crash of lightning in the distance illuminated the visitor's massive silhouette.

It was another demon. A monster. Had he come from the lightning bolt?

"Uuuuuugh...my head," the monster groaned. He attempted to rise to his full height and bonked himself on the top of the doorframe, no doubt worsening his cranial troubles.

After getting over his shock, Him hopped over the counter and helped the stranger inside; closing the door, and shutting out the storm.

"Goodness, you're a mess," Him muttered, withdrawing a handkerchief from the pocket of his frilly skirt and wiping away some mud and debris from the monster's green face. "Where on Earth did you come from? Can I get you anything?"

The monster's unfocused, distant gaze settled on Him. He was soaked, and unclothed, as some monsters tend to be. He seemed to be wracking his disoriented mind for an answer.

"...I don't know...what is this place?" he asked. Him gently led the new demon to a booth, where they sat down together. The stranger continued rubbing his head.

"Well, this is my restaurant, the Otto Time Diner. We're very busy, as you can see," Him giggled. "Or if you're looking for a broader answer, we're in the city of Townsville."

The monster slowly blinked through tired, burning red eyes.

"Townsville...why is that name familiar to me? I don't know...I can't remember…"

"Oh sweetie, did you just fall from heaven and crack your little head on the way down?" Him playfully held the monster's face with his claw, and felt a bit of warmth brewing underneath. "Poor thing! Why don't I get you something to eat and drink, okay? On the house. Let me find a towel or something, too, and we'll dry you before you catch a cold."

"Hnn," the new monster grunted softly, nodding in thankful acknowledgement.

Him managed to find a blanket tucked away in the maintenance closet, and he recalled with annoyance the reason it was there. For a time, Him had attempted to run his business legitimately, but the lack of profits meant bills couldn't be paid, and power to the place had been cut for a week one winter until Him had finally had enough. A few spells and threats during his days of villainy ensured that he would no longer be required to concern himself with the diner's maintenance costs, but Him longed for the day he could do things the old fashioned way. Resorting to magic and intimidation was the easy way out; not very satisfying at all.

He dramatically swept the pink plush fleece over the monster in the booth, completely draping his massive black horns and a part of the table, and went to work behind the counter preparing a fresh pot of coffee-his special blend.

The stranger pulled the blanket down off his head without a word, still very much in a daze; but he looked to the counter with a bit of spark in his eyes. Him met his damp, sad stare with a big smile.

"Do you like coffee? You look like a black coffee sort of fellow to me," Him crooned from behind his pastry display. The griddle was now sizzling with a few flapjacks, filling the air with sweet warmth. Rain continued to mercilessly batter the diner. The monster gave a bit of thought to this question.

"Perhaps I am…yes, I would like to try this coffee." The monster's deep voice rumbled with a moderate Japanese accent.

"Do you remember anything about yourself, honey? Can you tell me?" Him asked, cocking his head demurely. "Do you have a name?"

"My name...I remember. I am Aku."

"Aku, huh? Well, Mister Aku, do keep me updated if you feel some memories coming back, okay?"

Him walked over to Aku and set down a stack of extraordinarily fluffy pancakes artfully drizzled with syrup, placing two cups of coffee on the table-one for Aku, and one for himself. He whirled his claw and a gourmet cold creamer appeared, whisking itself into his coffee. Aku watched this activity carefully, then stared down at his plate.

"It's okay," Him insisted. "Go ahead, please."

Aku picked up his fork, separated a piece of the flapjack, and took a bite.

Immediately, his troubles melted away. The forlorn expression and the emptiness about him vanished. He sighed in relief and adoration, simultaneously melting and springing back to life.

Reinvigorated, Aku took a moment to stretch, his limbs and back crackling like dried wood, and then set out voraciously wolfing down the rest of the plate. In just a few short moments, he was finished.

Aku raised the near boiling hot coffee to his face to give it a sniff and took an apprehensive sip, then downed the entire cup in a single gulp. His expression was so peaceful, Him swore flowers might start blooming around his horns.

"Thank you..."

Him was taken aback by how serene and happy Aku seemed now. Mere seconds prior, he had resembled a faithful old dog abandoned in the rain; Now he was as bright as a puppy.

"N-no problem."

"Now, my little savior," Aku began, "what is it that I may call you?"

"Everyone calls me Him."

Aku raised an eyebrow, and cocked his head with a confused smirk. He drummed his long, terribly sharp talons on the table.

"Him? Him...hmmmmm…that is an odd title, is it not?"

"Well, it's the closest thing I have to a name," Him muttered. His emerald eyes drifted to Aku's empty plate. "I was certainly never given one."

"...Somehow, I feel that I understand your plight," Aku mumbled. "But, if you would prefer, I will give you a name more suited to you than 'Him'. You are far too pretty to languish under such obscurity."

Him chuckled, resting his chin on his claws and batting his long lashes. "Okay then, what would you call me? What do I look like to you?"

"Hime," Aku stated without hesitation. "For you are as tender and kind as a Princess."

Such a tiny change, and his name suddenly became thoughtful and meaningful. Heat spread over Him's face. It took a surprising amount of will to keep a tear from forming in his eye. Finally, he let out a small laugh.

"I don't think there are many people who would agree with you...but sure, you can call me that."

The two passed the time by drifting into conversation. What precious little Aku knew about himself consisted of only the most basic facts. His name, his vocabulary skills, and his general preferences were apparent, but it seemed the only solid memory he possessed was of approaching the diner. Aku did not even recall hearing or seeing the loud blast of lightning that immediately preceded his arrival, which surely no one in Townsville could have ignored. Maybe the red demon wasn't joking…maybe he really had just fallen from Heaven. That was about as good as any other theory regarding his past would get.

However, as Him began to tell Aku about himself, and about Townsville, Aku could feel his concerns regarding his amnesia fading. Irrespective of who he was or where he had come from, he was here, now, in this place, and he had been welcomed. Surely this was no accident.

The vermillion vixen carried on about something regarding the diner, and Aku tried to listen, but he found himself suddenly gripped with an idea.

If he was without identity, then he could create a new one. If he was without a past, he would forge a new future.

And this Him-small, slender and most certainly talented...Aku would make sure that his new future involved this sweet fairy.

"-and I mean, you're the first customer in ten years to set foot in this place, you know-"

Aku's jaw went slack.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN TEN YEARS?!" He bellowed, so loudly that Him felt his hair being blown back by the force of the sound. His delicate pointed ears were ringing; He checked for blood from a shattered eardrum, but thankfully he had been spared.

"L-Let's use our inside voice, please," Him whined.

"Sorry. But you know, that is impossible for me to believe." Aku remarked, "Your food is of the highest caliber. Your establishment is clean and welcoming. And you are…"

Aku cleared his throat as Him eagerly awaited the rest of his argument. A hint of flush spread across his green face.

"I would personally come here just to see you, if nothing else. I do not mean to flatter you; It is a statement of fact to say that you might be the loveliest creature I have ever encountered."

"Aww, you're too sweet!" Him lilted, reaching over the table to boop Aku's white (now closer to red) nose with the tip of his claw. "Well, not that you have any basis for comparison, what with not having any personal memories. But my heart skipped a beat, all the same!" He giggled, resting his chin on his claw and smiling at his new friend.

"W-Well, it...perhaps it is just me, but I am troubled by your predicament. How is this place not swarming with visitors? A social and inviting creature such as yourself must be lonesome in this environment…"

Aku paused, and his face fell with dejection.

"...I know that I would be."

Him flashed a sympathetic, knowing smile at Aku.

"Well...no, it isn't an ideal state of affairs...but my reputation in this city precedes me. No one will come near this place if they think I'm still running the show."

Aku's eyes snapped open wide. He raised his flickering, flaming eyebrows; a cheeky grin spread across his face, and he fiddled with his long red beard.

"Oh? Then perhaps I may be of assistance."

The storm knocked out power for several blocks in the city of Townsville, obliterating even backup generators and splitting countless powerlines. The following week was spent repairing this damage, and slowly but surely, the outskirts of downtown mended. It was a far cry from the regular devastation Townsville used to experience.

Professor Utonium dashed out the door and into his Avanti-he'd volunteered to oversee some of the more complicated grid repairs, as the steady drop in demand for contractors over the years left the city's available fix-it forces rather sparse. On top of that, his laboratory had been set up to draw straight from the Townsville Electrical Plant, so he felt an obligation to help. Last night he had been up far too late signing off on the last reported generator, and now he was running behind. His daughters had already departed for another day at Townsville High, so he would need to drive to work.

As if to spite him specifically, traffic was awful. Other frustrated motorists honked and shouted incessantly all around him. He had fifteen minutes left to set foot into his morning class, or his students would be legally dismissed.

He decided to inch his way over and take the next exit onto Main street. Normally the interstate sufficed, and normally he was not running late. Today, however, was not a normal day.

Main street was far less congested, and Professor tried to maneuver around slower vehicles as carefully yet quickly as possible. He hadn't taken this route in years, and his intrigue started to get the better of him-some businesses had changed.

As Utonium attempted to rubberneck, he had a rather curious thought.

'I wonder if the Otto Time's still there.'

Professor always felt pangs of guilt whenever he thought about the Otto Time Diner, and the way he had suddenly abandoned it. It had been a stupid argument, truly, but in the weeks leading up to his falling out with the restaurant's proprietor, he had felt similar pangs of guilt about his daughters. If they knew he'd been meeting with one of their worst enemies, they would have been heartbroken, or worse...they might've felt that he was invalidating their suffering at Him's claws.

Yet, no matter how many times the girls recounted tales of their battles with Him, Professor still couldn't shake that guilt. If it had been the right decision to sever their ties, why had he always felt so conflicted? Even after Him had apparently renounced villainy, Professor couldn't gather the resolve to see him again.

He prayed that the diner was still there, and felt an excruciating need to apologize well up inside of him. He was coming up on the lot now, and to his relief, the sign appeared to have changed, but there it stood.

He passed the diner, and his eyes locked onto a banner draped over the window.

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT!

Professor lurched as his car smashed into a fire hydrant. He cursed, undid his seatbelt and fumbled with the door handle before climbing out of his totaled car.

"For God's sake. It's just not my day."

Water now poured into the highway. Professor made a quick call to the fire department, and turned around to face the Otto Time. He checked his watch…realizing even if he hadn't crashed, he wouldn't have made it to his first lecture in time.

Otto Time, indeed. Professor always considered that name clever. He never got to ask why that name had been chosen, though...

The tiny diner's exterior had been repainted, and Professor noticed its new sign, but hadn't realized the depth of the rebrand. It was now the Otto Time Café...and the exterior had been taken to another level. The entire place was now pink, decorated with lace panels and ribbon decals.

"But...under new management? What?" Professor mused out loud, still perplexed by the window banner. There was no one else in Townsville other than Him who would decorate like this, save for maybe his daughter Bubbles. Really, Professor wasn't even sure if Him would decorate like this. The red-skinned ex-villain's tastes seemed a little more...mature than this.

He internally debated walking inside. What if Him wasn't there anymore? It wouldn't even be worth the trouble. But if he was…

Before he could finish that thought, Professor's feet carried him up to the café. He smoothed his hair at the door, stomped a bit of water off of his shoes onto the far too cutesy welcome mat (the term was written in Japanese, he noted), and pushed the door open.

"OKAERINASAIMASE!"

Professor had to hold the door to keep from being blown away. He looked up to see a very tall monster not five feet from him, positively beaming, and dressed in a perfectly tailored blood red Maitre D' suit.

"That means 'Welcome home!'"

A door slammed shut at the far end of the restaurant. The monster's eyes snapped open- they were the same shade of red as his suit. Professor fought the urge to run as the monster twitched.

"Pardon me for one moment."

Professor quietly stepped into the restaurant and closed the door behind him as the large monster stormed over to the maintenance closet and nearly yanked the door off its hinges.

The monster began to argue with someone.

"REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE SUPPLY CLOSET, HIME-CHAN!" The monster thundered. "WE HAVE A CUStomer...hmm. What is the matter?"

"I can't go out there," a familiar voice belonging to 'Hime-chan' whispered. "Professor Utonium is out there! He must have seen the sign in the window!"

"It matters not who this man is. You are to assist me immediately! You are the only one with...what was it again? Customer service experience! What good is a maid cafe without a maid?!"

"Fine! Just...fine!"

Aku turned back to the Professor, who had taken pause to observe the interior decor. Even the inside was pink. The booths had been redone, carefully arranged with doilies, folded napkins and gingham print runners. The entire bar was replaced as well.

While Utonium marveled at the sugar sweet decor, Aku pulled Him out of the closet, and closed the door. Him skittered up to the Professor, and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Welcome home, Professor."

The man was not prepared whatsoever for Him's new uniform. Pink with white pinstripes. Absolutely plastered with ruffles. A heart-shaped apron tied at the demon's slim waist, just above his impossibly short, poofy skirt. Below the petticoat, however, Him still wore his favorite ballet pointe leather boots. Atop his head sat a frilly, ruffled headband.

It was like a unicorn vomited on a maid costume, and somehow...it suited Him perfectly.

"P-Please have a seat, Professor," Him stammered out, vermillion face darkening deep crimson.

"YES. PLEASE HAVE A SEAT," the other demon called, oblivious to his volume.

"Inside voice, Aku!" Him hissed. He turned back towards the Professor with a very interesting expression. "I'll get your menu."

Professor crept into the candy pink booth and pinched himself.

"I'm awake. Huh."

Trembling slightly, Him gingerly placed a menu into the Professor's open hands.

"Thi-This is our breakfast menu," Him said. "We took care to update it, so please look over the new items. I can make recommendations if you'd like."

"Oh, thank you. Yes, just a moment."

Professor examined the small, elegantly detailed tablet, but his gaze drifted upwards. First to Aku; he seemed a bit restless, but his welcome had been genuine. Then to Him, still awaiting his choice, fiddling with his claws.

"I'll have uh, the pancake souffle, and a coffee, please. Black's fine." Professor passed the menu back to Him.

Immediately the maid bowed his head and poofed behind the bar. Aku was soon beside Him, studiously observing the preparation process.

Professor took in his surroundings again. Honestly, it might not have been his personal style, but he sincerely considered this new venture an upgrade. Not that the Otto Time Diner had ever been dirty or dingy-quite the opposite. It was just the little touches here and there, the tasteful elegance of the white chairs wrapped in satin bows, for example, that now elevated the Otto Time Café to a truly unique and refined establishment.

"Wow, Him," Professor said, "this is really nice."

"You think so?!" Him squeaked. "Th-Thank you, Professor!"

"And, I don't believe I've met your...friend?"

Aku perked up at Utonium, back at the griddle, then seemed conflicted on where to focus his attention as his unblinking stare nervously alternated between both subjects.

"Ah- this is Aku, the new management!" Him laughed. "He's also my roomie, for now. And he's suffering from a little amnesia, so please excuse some of his weird behavior." Aku's shifting vision now settled on Him as his breath caught in his throat.

Professor observed Aku with concern, but the behemoth monster took such comically great offense at Him's simple statement, Utonium couldn't help feeling a wry smile pulling on his lips.

"Oh my, that's very unfortunate. I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's fine," Him said, delicately flipping the pancakes. "He does learn by observation, but we haven't had many customers since our grand reopening a few days ago. You're the first, actually." At this, both demons' faces fell.

Aku perked up.

"But I have sworn a vow to bring incomparable success to this café! I will not be defeated!"

Professor laughed heartily. "Well, I'll be sure to let my students know to stop by soon!"

"Thank you so much!" Aku and Him responded in unison.

Him carried over to Professor a masterfully arranged plate of three-inch-thick Japanese-style pancakes, berries, and cream. He sat the dish down and from his apron pocket produced a small bottle of maple syrup, accentuated with a small pink ribbon. The red maid's nerves came back in full force.

"I-I-I can write a message for you if you like, oryourname, oradrawing," Him yipped. "It's part of a tradition in the m-most well-established maid cafés."

Professor was oblivious to Him's anxiety, still dumbfounded by the food in front of him. He looked up and noticed the syrup bottle in between Him's large crustacean claws.

"Maid cafés? Oh. Um, yes, I would like syrup. How about…a message? Please write whatever you like."

With a blush spreading across his face, Him nodded. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he carefully drizzled the syrup in neat, elegant letters on the edge of the plate:

JUST FOR YOU
PROFESSOR~!

Him finished by drawing small hearts and stars over the pancakes.

"Wow...it's so cute, I almost don't want to eat it!" Professor chuckled. The growl of his stomach betrayed him. He eagerly took a bite.

The preparation differed, but that familiar taste had been sorely missed.

Professor had been called out of the café by the fire department almost exactly as soon as he'd finished his breakfast. A tow truck and taxi later, he was gone-sipping a perfectly brewed espresso-to-go. Aku and Him were alone in the diner for the remainder of the day and, at six o'clock, they closed and headed home.

It was a half hour walk from the Otto Time Café to Him's moderately priced apartment, and at six thirty, their feet met the pristine pink carpet of Him's local lair.

That first night together one week ago, Aku had listened intently to his Hime-chan's goals for the future, and as the new manager of the Otto-Time, he suggested the possibility of taking the restaurant in a new direction. But which direction would bring success? Who was successful in Townsville?

No doubt, the answer to that particular question was "The Powerpuff Girls". So, the new path of the Otto-Time had indirectly come from one of them.

For a time, as Him observed Bubbles during his villainous era, he was privy to something called a "weeaboo phase". Silly as it might have been, Him viewed the blonde Powerpuff's favorite foreign series alongside her, through her well-loved octopus doll, Octi. Him, too, developed an uncanny affection for these programs, though he would never publicly admit to it.

One such series followed the daily exploits of a teenage group's antics within what was called a maid café. They donned adorable uniforms, adopted different personalities, and created a fantasy experience for their customers unlike anything in the western world.

Him rented the first few episodes of this series to watch with Aku, and it was like a bomb went off inside of the black beast's head. As Him slept, Aku faced a night of double-speed binge watching the rest of the series (and a few others in similar genres) over illicit websites and innumerable Wakapedia pages. When Him awoke the next morning, Aku was at his bedside raving about his plans and a few of the lavishly animated characters he had exposed himself to. From this interaction, Him realized just how impressionable and receptive Aku could be, almost like a sponge. He recalled every minute detail of each episode he watched and each page he skimmed through. He lacked any memories of his life before meeting Him, but he certainly proved capable of creating new ones.

It was promptly decided that the Otto Time Diner would be converted into a maid café. Him had been apprehensive about gutting his baby at first, but as they remodeled the place and sewed together each others' new uniforms, they found themselves frolicking through this pet project, dancing to Shibuya-pop jams in the appropriately restacked jukebox between tasks.

And now, Professor had become Him's first customer a second time. They needed to brace themselves for an influx of business; Utonium was, after all, very dedicated to his promises.

As for the present, the two demons settled in, donning their loungewear and opening boxes of takeout.

"What should we watch tonight?" Aku asked excitedly. "I was very fond of the last rental, but I noticed many tomes on the wall that we have not yet inspected."

"Hmmm...I'm not sure if you would be interested in even half of that stuff," Him pondered. "I'm partial to things like chick flicks and musicals."

"Chick Flicks? Musicals?" Aku cocked his head.

"Films for the girls," Him clarified. "Romantic comedies, light dramas, and happy endings. Musicals are movies where people sing about their feelings."

Aku processed this information.

"If there are beautiful women and lavish production values, I do not see how I could dislike such films. It sounds like many of the programs I have enjoyed thus far."

"Well, I'd rather start you off easy," Him said, playfully poking Aku's barrel chest. He left the flustered monster on the sofa to peruse his precious DVD collection.

"You might have enjoyed the lighthearted slice of life cartoons, but I think we will switch things up tonight. Here…"

Him pulled a case from his shelf, cracking it open and carefully placing the disc into his console. He drifted back to the sofa and handed the plastic shell to Aku, who poured over its details.

"The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," Aku read aloud. "A tale of poverty, revenge, and blood." He bore a wild grin. "This sounds most enticing!"

"I figured you'd dig it."

Had he known the eventual outcome of this opened Pandora's box, Him would have never permitted Aku to even think about thumbing through his DVD collection.

The very next day, at eleven o'clock, a man in a ski mask burst through the doors of the Otto Time Café, brandishing a gun.

"OKAERI-"

"FREEZE! TAKE ME TO THE SAFE NOW."

Him and Aku exchanged glances.

"You are mistaken," Aku began. "For we have no profits as of yet, and have not yet invested in a safe."

"It's been a long time since a criminal showed up in Townsville, aren't you worried about the Powerpuff Girls?" Him sneered.

"You think the Powerpuff Girls would show up to help you?" The criminal scoffed. "Don't make me laugh! They'd probably thank me for putting a bullet in your head. I've been waitin' a long time for an opportunity like this!"

Him crossed his arms and shifted his weight. Aku observed the man blankly and blinked.

"Well, as my manager here told you, we don't have any money. So scurry on out of here, please."

"I ain't leavin' empty-handed," the crook growled. "You better get over here and get on your knees-"

Before Him could even politely decline in his typical coy manner, a lightning-fast zap from Aku's eyes blew the man's brain clear off his shoulders. Him watched in delayed, mounting horror as the body fell to the ground.

The blast cauterized him at the jaw, thoroughly burning shut all exit points for blood. Aku took a sniff and raised his eyebrows. Him shrieked.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YOU IDIOT?! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!"

"Your inside voice, please," Aku chuckled. His cheek met with a quick slap of Him's claw.

"What? They die all the time, do they not? This one begged for death to have threatened you, Hime-chan."

Him fell back in shock, steadying himself on the counter; staring at Aku with deep trepidation. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"If the Powerpuff Girls find out this happened...do you have the slightest idea what they are going to do to us? No," he sobbed. "All of our work will be for nothing. They'll kill us."

"I do not fear these three young women, but the simplest answer to this problem is concealing the truth of this man's fate from them. Please cease this leaking, it is painful to witness."

Aku snatched a cloth napkin from the bar's stock and gently patted Him's tears away.

"This may in fact be a fated blessing in a criminal disguise."

Wordlessly, Aku moved from behind the counter and lifted the corpse from the entryway like a bag of groceries.

"In my perusing through the knowledge of Wakapedia during the late night hours, as you sleep blissfully, I research many things relevant to this establishment's success. Most importantly, food."

Him was silent as Aku continued monologuing.

"I was perplexed by the concept of yesterday's film. Humans consuming humans without a second thought. It seemed ludicrous, and yet…"

Aku's brow darkened...and an odd smile slithered its way onto his lips.

"As I delved deeper into the phenomena known as 'cannibalism' I unearthed something interesting, Hime-chan. Many foods that these mortals consume already contain human flesh."

Him did a double take.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"It is true," Aku declared. "They use corpses to produce many popular brands of edible delicacies. Your soda pops and various meats contain trace elements of human meat...as a flavor enhancer."

"They? Who is 'they'?"

Aku thought for a moment.

"Them. You know…"

Aku made a gesture that Him could not decipher in the least.

"I...I'll take your word for it," Him mumbled. "But still...you can't seriously expect me to agree to tarnish my beloved Café with such barbarism? You remember the movie, don't you? This sort of thing just never ends well."

"Of course not," Aku insisted. He carried the corpse behind the bar, pushing past the thick curtains concealing the rest of the kitchen, and plopped it onto the prep table.

"I will take care of it, as my sworn oath to revitalize this place for you demands. My Hime-chan needn't soil his precious claws."

A cold sweat broke out on Him's neck and, faced with the choice of allowing Aku to continue or inviting the wrath of the Powerpuff Girls, he silently accepted the former.

A new ingredient was added to the omurice.

Next time on Otto Time Cafe: RED!

Buttercup organized a zombie walk through Main Street to promote her band's new album. Aku wants to add real zombies in the crowd to drive people into our café! It seems like a great idea, but it's not. You didn't think this through at all, did you?