Steve gazed out the window, the rain pelting down harshly on the ground. It was still early, a little after noon but the sky was overcast, draping a cloak of darkness over the whole island. It had been raining a lot lately, as though the weather was mourning along with him. Mourning for the loss of his partner and good friend. Loss not in the physical sense but more the loss of the person he once knew and incredibly missed. Steve whipped out his phone and scrolled to Danny's name on the messaging app, noticing that his message checking in on his partner had still been left unread. He wrestled with himself. Should he give his friend a call? Should he give Danny some space? He had no idea anymore. He really was at a loss as to what he needed to do. The thing was.. he wasn't sure how Danny was doing. At times it felt like he was getting better but at times, not at all.

Physically, Danny was getting better. The fading dark circles under his eyes signaled to Steve that his partner was at the very least finally able to get some sleep. He had noticed that Danny wasn't waking up in the middle of the night as often either. He figured the medications and therapy were helping. That was good. What wasn't, though, was the fact that his friend still wasn't eating well. Unless, Steve was around, he wouldn't eat. And Steve only knew this because Danny's weight was on a constant decline.

Steve hated that he didn't know what else to do. Each time he asked his friend, Danny would assure him that he was okay. He was fine. But Steve knew better. Steve was not deaf to Danny's stifled cries which he tried his best to hide. Neither was Steve blind to Danny's red-rimmed and swollen eyes each time he came home from therapy. Danny's avoidance to seeing his daughter, his friends, and sometimes even Steve when he remained cooped up in his room. All of that told him contrary to Danny's claims of being 'fine'.

Steve knew that his best friend was still struggling despite all the effort and time that had passed. Three months to be exact. Three long months since the day Danny was forced to choose between his friend's and his daughter's life. Three months since their lives had been turned upside down. And honestly, Steve felt helpless. He badly wanted to help his friend. He needed his friend back. Every aspect of his friend. Yet, he was terrified by the prospect that he had no way of bringing the old Danny back. No matter how hard he tried.

A flash of lightning illuminated the sky, Steve let out a huge sigh as his eyes lingered on the empty spot where Danny's Camaro used to always be parked. Empty. Just like Danny's office. Everything had changed. He just wanted, needed everything to be back to how it used to be. And he would do everything he could to get it, except he didn't know what it was.

"Steve...Steve?... Steve!"

Steve startled out of his thoughts, looking up in surprise at his colleague. He must have been so lost in thoughts of his partner that he hadn't heard Chin knock or enter his office. "Chin. Sorry.. what is it? Did we catch a case?" He asked, straightening up in his seat as he tried his best to remove his worries about Danny out of his mind.

Chin sat opposite him, shaking his head. "No, it's not that. Slow day today."

Steve nodded. "Where are Kono and Lou?" He scanned the office, noticing that it was empty aside from Chin.

"They just left for the court hearing on the Bartley's case. Should be back in the late afternoon." Chin paused, analysing Steve's face. "What's got you miles away?"

Steve breathed out through his nose, lips pursed as he sank back in his chair.

"Steve?" Chin asked again, breaking the gnawing silence filling the room. "Is everything alright?"

He had no idea anymore, really. Was anything alright? "Hmm.."

"Hey.. Is it about Danny? Is he okay, Steve?" Chin could guess that the expression on Steve's face was due to only one person.

"I don't know, Chin. I don't know if he's okay. He tells me he is." Steve sighed again.

Chin narrowed his eyes. "But you don't believe him?"

"I.. Look.. Danny and I, we've been partners for more than 5 years. And I know him, I know how he is. I've seen him go through a whole bunch of stuff but... I've never seen him like this before.. He's really struggling, Chin. All I want to do is help him. But he keeps telling me he's fine. He's okay.. When I know he's not." Steve said.

"I thought.. I mean you said he was getting help, right? I thought it was working. He's getting better.. No?" Chin frowned.

"You know, he is getting better. I think.. I, I hope.. Sometimes, he seems alright.. But.. he's just not the Danny we all know, if you get what I mean. Chin, sometimes, we're in the same room but I feel like he's a stranger. It's like I don't even know who he is. He doesn't talk unless I ask him something. He does whatever I tell him to without a word of complaint. He's completely dazed most of the time. And he's on tiptoes around me. Everything feels so forced. Like we're both pretending that everything is okay. I know he's still hurting but he's not letting me in. I want to help him, okay? I want to help him. But he keeps saying he's fine.. so all I can do is try to be by his side as much as I can."

"Maybe that's enough." Chin said. "Maybe that's all he needs."

Steve shook his head. "There's got to be something else I can do." Steve said. "I can't just watch him and do nothing."

"Steve, sometimes all that needs to be done is to stand by someone's side. I don't know what Danny is going through, in fact, none of us do. But if you were to put yourself in his shoes. If it had been you who'd done what he did.. I'm sure it wouldn't be easy to forgive yourself either. Seeing the person you hurt in front of you, every day. Being reminded of what you did every single time you see them. I can't imagine what that must feel like.. and what's that doing to him.. Right now, what Danny needs is time. Time to process everything, to come to terms with everything. And when he's ready, he'll be back to the Danny we know."

"How much time, Chin. It's been months now. I.. It hurts me to see him the way he is now. I really don't want to see him struggling so much anymore. I don't even blame him, I've told him so many times."

Chin sighed. "I get it. All of us want him to get better. We're his friends too, you know. And we miss him around. But we have to take it at his pace. It's not about what we think.. or what we tell him. He needs to come to terms with it on his own. And when he realises that he can depend on us, he'll be okay." Chin said with a level of calm which annoyed Steve. Yet he couldn't fault what Danny has it the hardest, Steve."

"I know.. I know. I just wish I had a way to make it easier." Steve said, defeat evident in his voice.

...

From the comfort of his car, Danny saw his daughter climbing down the school steps, waving happily at her friends as they parted ways. Oh, how he had missed seeing the smile on her face that had never once failed to light up his day. Just as it did today. His heart fluttered, leaving an antsy exuberance in the hollow of his chest. Finally, he was ready to see her again. He hadn't told her when he talked on the phone with her the previous night. That's because he didn't know it himself that night. It was only in the morning that he'd decided to see his daughter. He'd woken up that day missing his daughter incredibly. Well, he missed her every day. But that day, apart from the longing to see his daughter, he felt like maybe, he still deserved to be in her life. Maybe, he'd served his penance and he could see her and maybe she would be glad to see him.

He had spent the whole morning getting himself ready to face his daughter. He ran through the words he would say to her a million times in his head and imagined the peace and ease he would feel when he held her in his arms again. He had shaved his beard which made him look like an impoverished vagrant. He had been hiding behind it for so long, he felt slightly uncomfortable seeing his face so exposed. It was amazing, though, how much less miserable he looked with it gone. He'd gotten dressed in one of his favourite shirts, the white one with blue and grey stripes. For a moment, it felt like everything was back to normal. Like he was back to his old self again. And although there was an itch at the bottom of his chest that was planting a seed of doubt in his heart, he ignored it. Knowing his daughter's schedule by heart, he had driven to her school and waited in the car outside the gate well an hour ahead of her dismissal time. He had again had second thoughts as he waited but all that disappeared the moment he spotted his daughter coming out the door.

He grabbed the umbrella he'd tucked on the side of the door and got out of the car. He stepped out into the rain, the umbrella barely sufficing to shield him from the torrential downpour. Locking his car, he walked over to the steps where his daughter was standing on, looking around wide-eyed, probably for the driver that Rachel usually sent to get her. Danny quickened his pace, his short strides splashing rain water onto his pants and socks, wasting his efforts to look extra neat, but he really didn't care. All he wanted was to embrace his daughter again.

He was a few metres away from his daughter, the joy that bloomed in his chest caused a small smile to be carved on his lips. All he had to do was call out to his daughter.

"Step-Stan!" Grace's voice stood out in the cacophony of high-pitched chattering. Danny turned to see Stanley scurrying over to Grace. The last thing he had expected to see.

"You're home!" Danny heard Grace say, hugging Stan. Danny stood frozen, her view of him was obscured by a group of girls immersed in life-changing celebrity gossip.

"Yeah, my flight landed early and I thought I'd come get you. Come on, let's go. This weather is dreadful." He heard Stan complain before he took Grace's hand and they both hustled over to his car.

Danny wanted to call out to them. To stop them. But he couldn't. He just couldn't. He felt like a fool as he stood there watching his daughter getting further and further away from him. Even the claps of thunder overhead seemed to be mocking him.

He walked back to his car dejectedly. In an instant, he had been hit with reality again. Grace didn't need him. She was alright. She would still have a complete family without him in her life. And she would be kept safe too. He could trust Stan, that much he was sure of. He hated the guy but that had nothing to do with the person that he was. More to do with the fact that he had what he could never have. A complete family for Grace. But otherwise, Stan was a good man and he could trust him with his daughter. But the thought of giving up his daughter wrung his heart out and he knew he couldn't do it.

He started the engine, driving off with no obvious destination in mind. But it was hardly a surprise to him when he realised where he had unconsciously led himself. Where else if not back to his anchor?

...

Lou and Kono were finally back from the court hearing and the rain had died down to a slow drizzle. As Lou turned into the parking lot in front of the HQ, Kono spotted the all too familiar black Camaro parked a distance away from the entrance.

"Lou, isn't that.. isn't that Danny's car?" Kono asked, pointing to the car, hoping she was right. It had been months since she'd seen her colleague.

Lou turned to look at what Kono was pointing to. She was right, it did look like Danny's car. Switching off the engine and getting off the car, Lou and Kono walked towards it to take a closer look. They saw the license plate, confirming it to be Danny's car. Kono jogged the remaining distance to the driver's seat, spotting Danny in it. Her joy at seeing her colleague again was quickly turning into concern as she saw Danny slumped over and unmoving, head resting on the steering wheel. She knocked on the glass and to her relief, Danny looked up at her with weary eyes.

Danny swallowed. To be honest, he had no idea what he was doing here. He just hadn't felt like going home. And there was nowhere else he could go. As a result, he had somehow ended up outside the Five-0 office, waiting for Steve. For three hours no less. He hadn't dared give his partner a call or even dreamt of heading up to the office. He didn't want to bother his friend but deep inside, he hoped to see Steve. He was a mess of emotions. Just this morning, he'd thought he was ready to see his daughter but like a coward he had quickly retreated.

He opened the door and got out of the car

"Danny.." Kono pulled him in a hug. "Oh god.. Danny!" She said, squeezing him tightly.

"Kono.. Lou.." Danny muttered, forcing a smile on his lips.

"You okay, Danny?" Lou asked in genuine concern, a hand squeezing Danny's shoulder blade gently.

Danny nodded. "Is.. is Steve?" Danny started but his voice caught in his throat. "Is Steve around?"

"He should be upstairs. Is everything okay?" Kono asked this time. "Oh.. it's been too long, brah."

"Yeah..I..I'm sorry I have worried all of you." Danny said, head hanging low.

Kono bent down slightly and looked Danny in the eye. "Hey, I'm just glad to see you again. We've all missed you so much." Kono said.

"That's right, Danny." Lou said. "If you're sorry, just don't do that again, please." Lou stepped in front of Kono and embraced Danny, patting him on the back. He couldn't really express what a relief it was to finally see Danny again. "Boy, it's so good to see you."

Danny swallowed back his guilt and nodded.

"Danny, why are you out here?" Kono asked.

"Uhh.. I was waiting for Steve." Danny said.

"Did you give him a call? How long have you been waiting?" Kono asked again.

Danny shook his head. "Just a while."

"Come on, let's head up. Why are we standing, talking in this rain, anyway?" Lou voiced.

"No.. I'll just wait here. You guys are working, I don't want to interrupt anything." Danny said.

"You're not interrupting anything. Let's go. Chin should be upstairs too, he's gonna want to see you." Kono said, taking his hand.

Reluctant as he was, Danny silently agreed, being led by Kono and Lou. Stepping into the Five-0 office again felt like a violation, a bold disregard of the fact that he had lost the right to be here. As he walked past the office that once used to be his, he couldn't help the way his stomach flipped. He dared a glance towards it, surprised to find it empty and exactly the way he'd left it. He would expect that after the months he'd been away, Chin would have stepped in as the 2nd in command and moved into the bigger office space. But the office was empty.

"Danny?" Chin called, emerging from his office the same time that Steve did. Chin walked over to his friend with a huge grin on his face and wrapped him in a hug.

"Hey, Chin." Danny said awkwardly.

It was good to see his colleagues again. But it was also unnatural. After a few minutes of forced interaction with the team on his part, Danny couldn't be more grateful when Steve pulled him aside, into his office. They settled on the couch and watched as the rest of the guys dispersed and returned to their own offices. Steve turned to look at his friend, liking the change in his friend's appearance. But not the permanent crease on his forehead.

"Danny is everything okay?" Steve asked gently. "You didn't tell me you were coming here."

"I.. I didn't know where else to go." Danny said. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about." Steve said. "Did something happen?" He asked.

"No, not really." Danny said. "I just.. I needed to see you?" Danny said but it sounded like he was questioning himself. "I'm sorry.. I shouldn't be here."

"Danny. Come on, what's wrong?" Steve asked.

...

A/N: Hi everyone, thank you again for all your amazing reviews that keep me going. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter but I realise I haven't written much on Steve's perspective of Danny's recovery. This is more a set up for the last coming chapters. More things still need resolving for Danny. Hope you guys weren't disappointed by this chapter. See you in the next one? Thanks for reading and stay safe!