Steve patiently waited, watching his partner intently as Danny tried to arrange his thoughts into rational words. Danny twiddled with his fingers, peeling at his nails, a habit Steve noticed he'd developed after the incident. Steve wanted to stop him, and ask him again what exactly was going on. But he didn't. He swallowed the sigh threatening to break the silence of the room, scratching his eyebrows tentatively. Although Steve had the burning need to know what was going on with his friend so he could help him, Steve didn't want to force Danny to speak if he didn't want to. Danny had decided to come to him, just like before. Whenever anything used to bother him, the first person Danny would call or go to was Steve. That was until the unannounced disaster had hit them. Since then, he had chosen to stay in his shell and go through everything on his own. But today, Danny was here, in his office when there was something obviously on his mind. And that was more than Steve could be grateful for. So he waited. Waited till Danny was ready to talk.
"Danny? I'll go get us something to drink. Wait here, alright." Steve finally succumbed to his overwhelming need to break the silence. He started to get up when Danny spoke.
"I went to see Grace." He said, face lined with pain.
Steve stopped in his tracks and sat back down on the couch, confusion in his head. That should be a good thing. There was no way Grace could have caused the look on Danny's face. Grace would have been elated to see Danny and so would Danny. Steve nodded, signaling Danny to continue but he didn't.
"You saw Grace?" Steve repeated, making sure he understood right.
Danny winced at the memory of seeing his daughter walk away from him. Granted she hadn't seen him standing there. Yet, the hurt was fresh in his mind. He loathed himself for feeling the way he did. He should be glad that his daughter was fine, she was happy even without him. That was what he wanted in the first place. But he wasn't. He felt miserable.
"I.. I went to see her. I was... was gonna pick her up from school." Danny said, merely a whisper. The voice in his head laughing mirthlessly at the thought. How he even imagined he still had that right was a joke to himself.
"Hmm." Steve hummed, still trying to figure out what could have gone wrong.
"She.. was right there. I couldn't call out to her." Danny confessed
"Danny.."
"I.. I thought..I.. Stan was there to pick her up and... I just couldn't call out to her. Sh.. Grace, she'll be fine. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have gone to see her. She doesn't need a father who puts her in danger. Me.. she doesn't need me. Sh.. she needs someone who can protect her. Someone like Stan." Danny said, his heart was in physical pain as he admitted it to himself and Steve.
Steve took a deep breath and inched closer to his partner. "Danny?" He put his hand on Danny's shoulder. "Is that really what you believe?"
Danny looked up at Steve with a teary gaze. He nodded slightly, a tear betraying his false facade and meandering down his cheek.
"And you think you're capable of giving her up?" Steve asked.
Danny blinked absently. "If that is the best I can do for her, I will."
"Then what about you? What's best for you?"
"I.. I will be happy if she is, that's all that matters."
"You're lying, Danny. You're lying to me. And you're lying to yourself." Steve said. "You wouldn't have gone to see her if that's what you thought. You wouldn't be here to see me if you're happy. And Danny, you're fooling yourself if you think Grace is fine without you."
"Maybe.. maybe I'm lying. Maybe all I want is for things to go back to the way it used to be." Danny said. "But I cannot do this Steve. I'm afraid. Each time I think about what happened, how close I came to losing her..and you.. I get terrified. For a moment, when I woke up this morning, I forgot what that fear was like. I went to her school, I saw her and I thought, I thought I wanted to be the reason that put that smile on her face." Danny choked up with tears. "Then.. then I realised that no, no.. Because of me, she lay almost lifeless in the ICU. That is what I caused her. I almost took that smile away from her face forever.. She's only fine now.. she's only happy now because I'm not there to cause her more pain."
"Danny, that is not true. Not true at all." Steve said. "You have got to stop this. Stop telling yourself these lies."
"You have no idea how much I wish this was just a terrible nightmare. But it's not. My daughter got kidnapped and shot because of me and my partner.." Danny looked straight into Steve's eyes. "I shot my own partner. Those are not lies. Those are the truths that I can never hide from." He blinked wearily.
"Here's another truth that you keep forgetting. You are the most dedicated father I've ever met and the best partner I could ask for. And that truth trumps everything else, Danny. You have to see that. One mistake does not negate everything good you'd ever done." Steve said.
Danny remained silent as a headache began to creep up on him.
"Danny, trust me. Your daughter and I, we want you back. We want the Danny we used to have back." Steve said. "We love you, buddy. We don't want to lose you. I..I don't want to lose my partner. Dann.." Steve was interrupted by a knock on his door.
"Boss, sorry to interrupt.. but we've just got a call from Duke." Kono said, her worrying gaze shifting from Danny to Steve.
"Case?" Steve asked.
Kono nodded. "Bank robbery, hostages inside."
"I.. I'll get going. I'm sorry.. for coming here like this.." Danny said as he hurriedly got up.
"No, Danny. I'm glad you came to me." Steve pulled his friend into a hug. "Listen to me, I'll be home as soon as I can. Call me if there's anything."
"I'm okay." Danny said. "Be careful, alright?"
Steve watched as his partner walked towards the door, figure hunched in defeat. He would have left the case to the team and stayed with Danny. He didn't feel good leaving his partner alone but he hadn't a choice.
Kono stopped Danny at the door. "Danny? I'm glad we got to see you today. We'll have a longer catch-up the next time alright?" She kissed him on the cheek, "Take care, brah."
Danny smiled unconvincingly and nodded before he made himself scarce.
...
When Danny woke up, he initially thought that he was still being buoyed by his dreams. He heard several voices from downstairs but it couldn't be. It was close to 8am and Steve had already left for work long ago. He got up groaning as the headache that he'd thought would go away with sleep came back with a vengeance the moment he opened his eyes. He gently massaged his forehead, hunching his back as he tried to find a position that would reduce the throbbing. He considered just lying back down, maybe a little more sleep would help.
"Danny?" The knock on his door confirmed that he hadn't been hallucinating. Steve was still home. He looked at the time again.
Danny knitted his brows, looking at the door. He schooled his features to try and hide his misery. "Steve?" He called out and walked towards the door to open it.
"Danno." An uncertain voice greeted him the moment he opened the door.
Danny stood stunned. Biting his lip and hiding a grimace, Danny looked at his partner before looking down at his daughter standing next to Steve.
"Dad, I'm here." Grace said, crashing into Danny and hugging him.
Danny wrapped his arms tightly around his daughter as he kissed the top of her head. He couldn't find his voice, nor could he find the words. He settled for a soft "Grace."
"It's gonna be okay, Danno." Grace's voice was muffled as her face buried in his sternum and she gently patted his back.
Danny nodded, tears in his eyes as he looked up gratefully at Steve. Thank you, he mouthed.
You're welcome, Steve mouthed back, smiling as he spotted the ghost of a smile on his partner's face. He hadn't been a hundred percent sure about his decision but now he was.
Danny turned his attention back to his daughter pulling away from the hug and dropping to his knees so he was eye level with his daughter. He firmly held her shoulders, soaking every inch of his daughter. "Grace.. I missed you so much."
Grace nodded, brushing her palm against her father's cheeks, her fingers softly caressing his face. "I missed you too." Her forehead crinkled with tension. "Danno, are you okay?" She hadn't seen her father for merely 2 months yet he seemed to have aged tremendously. His cheeks were hollowed and his figure much leaner than she remembered.
Danny swallowed, "I am.. I am now." He said. "I'm so sorry, Grace."
She shook her head. "It's okay, Danno." She planted a kiss on his forehead which was all it took for his wall to come crumbling down in front of his daughter.
Grace wiped the tears away from his face while she had tears running down her face herself. "I love you, dad. Everything's gonna be okay. Right, Uncle Steve?" She turned to Steve who had been standing silently to her side.
He stroked the back of her head. "That's right. We're here for you, Danno." He said, squeezing Danny's shoulder.
Grace smiled through her tears and gazed at her father again. Danny exhaled shakily and nodded. "Everything's gonna be okay." He repeated and he really prayed they were right.
With his left arm holding on to Grace, Danny pushed his right arm against floor and staggered up to his feet. Grace and Steve looked at him in concern. "Danny, you sure you alright?"
"Yeah." Danny assured him, hugging his daughter on his left before he held out his free hand to Steve. Steve inched towards his partner's right and held the two of them in the hug.
"I'm good." Danny said. In fact, he was better than good. He had everything he needed, his best friend and his daughter. There was nothing else that mattered.
...
Danny had no idea how Steve had managed to convince Rachel to allow Grace to skip a day of school to spend the time with him but he was beyond grateful. He hadn't had any desire to get out of bed that day, but all his worries had dissipated to nothing the moment he'd seen his daughter. Steve had gone off to work after having breakfast with them, leaving Danny and Grace alone. They were sitting in the living room, watching one of Grace's favourite chick flick. Danny wasn't really watching it, he had no interest in whatever was going on. Instead, he sneaked glances at his daughter, his heart warmed when her laughter filled the room.
"Danno?" Grace called when she caught her father sighing. She switched the TV off and settled next to her dad, inching closer to him and resting her head on his chest. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, monkey. What is it?" Danny asked.
"Why did you leave me? Where did you go?" She asked nervously.
"Uhh.." Danny hummed.
"Do you no longer love me?" Grace asked.
"Of course not. That will never happen. I will always always love you. More than anything in this world." Danny said quickly, holding her hands in his. "Don't ever think I don't love you."
"So why did you go away?" Grace asked, pushing away from him and looking up in his eyes with a tear-filled gaze.
"I.. I thought.. I thought you would be better off without me."
"Why?" Grace asked. "Did mom say something?"
"No, Grace. It's not that." Danny corrected. "It has nothing to do with your mom, or anyone." Danny paused but Grace waited for an answer. "I.. I almost lost you. I was scared."
"I was scared too. I thought I would never see you again." Grace confessed.
"I'm sorry. I was wrong. I thought it was the best way to protect you." Danny said.
"I missed you every day, dad. I was really worried about you." Grace said. "You probably think I would be okay, because I have mom and I have Step-Stan. But Danno, you're my father and no one can take that place. I love you and I don't want to lose you."
Danny bit his lip a little too hard he could taste the blood. "I.. I don't want to lose you, either. I'm so sorry. I caused you to get hurt."
"Dad, it's not your fault, it was never your fault. You tried your best to save me. And you did." Grace sobbed. "You protected me. That's how I remember it. And that's how you should remember it too."
That was something he didn't think he could do. All he remembered was finding his daughter bleeding out on the ground, barely breathing, he remembered her lifeless body being wrecked by CPR, her ribs cracking under the pressure, he remembered her small frame lying on the too-huge hospital bed, surrounded by machines. He squeezed his eyes, breathing rapidly as he tried to get the images out of his head.
"Danno." Grace called worriedly. "Danno, are you okay? Can you look at me please?"
Danny forced his eyes open and looked at his daughter, his heart breaking at the concern on her face. "I'm okay." He breathed. "I'm really sorry."
"Should I call Uncle Steve?"
Danny shook his head. "I'm fine. I just.. Grace, I won't leave you again. I love you and no matter what happens, I will always be by your side."
"Me too, I will never leave you." Grace said, hugging him close.
...
"DANNO!" Grace shouted. "LET ME GO! DANNO! DAD, HELP ME!"
"Grace!" Danny woke up to his daughter's cries. It was coming from the top floor. "Grace! Grace?!"
NO, NO.. This can't be happening again. His daughter was right here with him but she was gone now. He shouldn't have dozed off. He shouldn't have let his daughter be taken away again. He stood up, and ran towards the stairs. He couldn't let this happen.
"Grace! Grace! Please. Please."
"Danno?" Grace called.
Danny could feel his heart hammering in his chest. "Grace!" He ran towards her. "Are you okay? Huh?"
"Dad, I'm okay. What happened?" Grace said. The confusion on her face sobered him.
"You're okay." Danny swallowed. "There's no one here?"
"No.. there's no one."
He winced as he realised it had been a dream. It was eerily similar to what happened. He'd been alone with Grace and had fallen asleep on the couch. His daughter had been taken away from him then. His head hung limply as he tried to even his breathing. Grace was on his side, holding his arm tightly.
"I'm gonna call Uncle Steve." Grace said.
"Grace." Danny stopped her. "I.. It was just a dream. I had a nightmare. That's it." He swallowed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"But dad.."
"Look, Uncle Steve is at work. I'm fine, there's no need to bother him."
...
Steve had come home slightly early that day, to Grace's immense relief. She was worried about her father who kept insisting that he was fine. When Danny was in the shower, Grace had quickly filled Steve in on what happened earlier, against Danny's instructions to not tell Steve about it. She had made him promise not to mention it to Danny. She had only confided in him because of her concern for her father's well-being. But Steve could not control his expressions, his aneurysm face was fixed as they had dinner. His intense gaze was not lost on Danny who tried to act as normally as he could.
For the first time in a while, the house was filled with non-stop chatter, mostly from Grace as she filled her dad and uncle on school and everything about her life. Steve was glad to see the smile on Danny's face as he listened to his daughter. He tucked his worry away. Danny was taking time but he would be fine, Steve told himself.
"Hey." Danny said as he approached Steve on the lanai.
"Hey." Steve said, twisting his back to see his partner walking towards him, two beer bottles in hand. "Gracie asleep?"
"Yeah, just." Danny handed one to Steve and sat next to his partner.
"Beer?" Steve asked.
"I'm guessing Grace told you."
"What?" Steve feigned ignorance.
"Your face says it all, Steve." Danny said.
"Don't blame her, she's just worried about you."
"I know." Danny sighed, taking another sip. "I hate that I'm doing this to her."
"Hey, don't go around beating yourself up. It isn't something you can control." Steve said.
"Still, she shouldn't have had to see it." Danny said. "I really scared her."
"She's a brave girl. Strong-willed like someone I know." Steve smiled knowingly. "She'll be fine."
"Yeah."
"Danny, you should have seen her face when I came to pick her up this morning. She was so happy. So happy that she could finally see you."
Danny turned to his partner. "Steve."
"Hmm?"
"Thank you." Danny said.
"You've already thanked me, Danny. And all I did was bring Grace here. You needed each other." Steve said.
"Not just for that.. For.. for everything you've done."
Steve shook his head. "It's nothing."
"No.. no it's not nothing." Danny said, taking another sip. "If I'm being honest, I would have drowned long ago if it wasn't for you. You pulled me out every single time. Even when you didn't need to. Even when you should have left me. You never did. You.. you constantly got me back on my feet. I would have given up if it.. if it wasn't for you." Danny said.
"Hey.. don't ever say that. You're not allowed to give up. That little girl sleeping upstairs, she relies on you. You cannot give up. And I would never leave you alone." Steve said. "Buddy, we're family. And family never leaves you alone."
"Yeah.. Grace." Danny said. "Grace told me what you an..and the team did when I wasn't around. How Kono, Chin and Lou supported her. Visiting and checking in on her. And of course, you.. you were always there for her. You guys didn't need to do that but I'm so thankful that you guys were there for her."
"You're ohana, which makes Grace ohana too. If one of us is hurt, everyone is hurt. Most importantly, you can always rely on family. To help you out."
Danny took a swig from his bottle. "How Steve? How is it.. how is it that you still consider me your family? After what I had done? Why aren't you mad at me? How is it so easy for you to put everything aside?" Danny asked.
Steve let out a long sigh. "Honestly buddy, I have no answer to that. I don't know. Maybe because it's not your fault at all. Maybe it's because I love Grace almost as much as you do, and I wouldn't want anything to happen to her." Steve said. "Maybe it's because I love you, and I don't want to lose you. But I'm telling you the truth when I say that there is not an ounce of doubt in me. I've told you before, not even a tiny bit of me blames you."
Danny licked his lips. "You sti..still trust me?"
"Of course, Danny. Never stopped, never will."
Danny pressed the heel of his palm onto his eyes as he tried to suppress the tears. He breathed heavily, and felt a hand on his shoulder. "I..I don't know how.. how I'll be able to thank you enough. You've done too much for me." Danny panted.
"Give me the old Danny back." Steve said firmly. "Give me the old Danny back. Then we're even." Danny looked up at his friend. "Can you do that for me?" Steve asked. "I just want my partner back."
...
A/N: Hi everyone, again, thank you for all your kind reviews, really appreciate them. Here's the next chapter and I hope you liked it. I know many of you have been wondering about Danny's dismissal and whether the team knows about the governor's hand in it. Answers in the next chapter, I promise.. Thanks for reading and if you can, please drop a review cos it would really make my day :)
