"I'm new in sales," I said, "Literally new in this career," I said at the man behind the camera. I don't really know them nor do I know why they interview everyone else in Dunder Mifflin, but I didn't mind talking. I get too shy around everyone else except Pam, so it's nice to get to talk about my first day.
"I haven't made many friends yet, despite glasses over there staring at me every five minutes".
Dway—Dwight, I think—has been smirking at me whenever I glance his way.
"He kept talking about how huge his beats were," I paused. "Honestly, I'm not quite sure what he was talking about."
I'm pretty sure he was figuratively referring to his penis. Yep.
"Is that why you knocked him out with his beets?" the man behind the camera asked.
I bit my lower lip.
"See, if you say it like that—" I didn't know what to say. I didn't even expect I'd hit him that hard. I was headed to the bathroom and he kept talking about his beets. I wasn't used to that environment at all.
I shrugged at the cameraman.
"You're required to undergo evaluation and counselling with HR," Michael said firmly, yet quite unsurely.
I couldn't believe it. "Counselling?"
"Yep," he clasped his hands, "Counselling. I know spending three hours with Toby in such a small space is terrible, trust me, I know but—"
"—Okay."
"—Sorry? What?" Michael's eyes widened as he leaned forward.
I shrugged, "Okay?"
"Okay, it's your funeral," he mumbled, making me groan.
"It's just talking,"
"—for three hours!" Michael interrupted,
"Yeah,"
"—with Toby f—"
"I know, Michael."
He shook his head while signing a form.
Toby was pretty nice. The first time I went to the office to sign the contract, I spoke with HR. That's when I first met Toby. He was very warm and welcoming.
The office was empty around that time, so I didn't know what to expect. When I asked Toby about the work environment, he seemed a bit hesitant. At first, I thought he spoke that way because he was shy, and boy was he incredibly shy for an HR rep. But now...I'm gradually beginning to understand why.
This is definitely not how I expected to spend the first day at work. I just feel grateful that Michael didn't fire me and instead sent me for counselling.
What could possibly go wrong?