Full summary (SPOILERS!):
We've reached the end of the last school year in an alternate timeline, one in which Akito did not reveal that she was, in fact, a woman. Kyō's curse was never broken as Akito the god never willingly relinquished her bonds to the other members of the zodiac. Hopelessness seems to have sunken into the Sohma residents at Shigure's house, culminating ultimately in the fact that Kyō will be confined to the cat's house for the rest of his life, never again to have his freedom. Shigure is facing down the prospect that Akito will never be free and will have to live the rest of her life as a man, never admitting her love for Shigure, and Yuki is worried that he, like Kyō, won't be able to escape the Sohma family and live his own life.
As a result, both Shigure and Yuki have left the cat alone, on the last evening of his freedom. Tohru, aware that it's Kyō's last night of freedom, is dismayed at having to work that evening and comes home later that night to find an empty house. Her love for Kyō has only grown stronger ever since he confessed his feelings for her after her fall from the cliff and the subsequent healing of her injuries. In spite of everything, Akito has not relinquished her bonds and reaffirmed the necessity of the cat room and Kyō's inevitable fate to reside there forever.
On this dark night, after a brutal exchange with his father earlier in the day that reaffirms his fate as a prisoner of his own family, Kyō takes refuge in the one person who gives him life and hope and who keeps his dreams alive.
Shigure's normally bright and lively house was dark and void. But for the fact that his home was neatly kept from the outside—the grass mowed and the weeds held at bay, and the structure of the house itself seeming strong—a passer-by might've mistaken it for being forlorn. Upstairs in his room, Kyō sat alone in the dark, staring off into nothingness. It was seven o'clock in the evening, the night before graduation, and nothing had fundamentally changed for him. He tried to keep his thoughts far from her—from Tohru—as he meditated on his future. The dark house, the dark room, his dark life all seemed reflective of what awaited him tomorrow evening when he got home—where she was. Akito would send his people to collect him . . . and he would be unable to refuse the call of the god. He only wished he had it in himself to defy them, remembering how he had angrily shouted at Momiji that one night in the hallway of the vacationhome—insisting that they all should've had the guts to stand up to Akito and not leave Tohru all alone that day.
How hypocritical, he thought, when I'm just as gutless when it comes down to it.
He closed his eyes, remembering the cat's room. His future jail.
Tohru! he thought, running a rough hand through his orange hair. She had been the only source of light in his life. She and her mother.
He had seen his father on a rare occasion earlier that week; and in spite of the fact that his father had never really dealt with him in his life, Kyō still felt the pull of wanting somekind of acknowledgement from him. It was there in some small piece of his soul—that longing for family. All he'd wanted to do was tell his father that he was graduating. It was a courtesy in the unlikely event that his father would want to attend.
Sadly, the encounter had gone about as well as he expected: His father could hardly stand to look at him. Kyō shook his head and closed his eyes, remembering how his father had made him feel like he was still that scared little boy who'd just lost his mother—remembering how god and everybody had blamed him for her death. His fault, of course. His fault that she'd died. His fault that he was born.
-.-.-
"Better you had been carried from the cradle straight to the grave!" his father shouted. "How dare you look me in the eye like a man, you useless waste of skin. You filthy abortion; what audacity you have to go on living!"
Kyō said nothing.
His father only looked on disdainfully. "You disgusting monster. You were a shame to me from the moment you were born, but I thought that I could love you. I did. Now I only blame myself for my own weakness: I should've killed you when I had the chance. I should've killed you to spare your mother."
"She wouldn't've let you, you know?" Ky ō'd replied flatly as he looked away. "Even if she never loved the real me, she wouldn't've let you." He didn't have to listen to this. He shouldn't have to! But then again . . . there was some part of him that kept him rooted to the ground.
"But she'd be alive," his father insisted. "And I'd trade that for her hatred any day. And you know deep down that she'd've been relieved to get rid of you and to get rid of this family. She would've been safe. Instead, all we have is you. A disappointment on every level. You've failed. That's all you are is a failure. You're a failed human being—not even a person—dressed up in a costume and graduating. Like it'll make you anything other than what you are: An aimless freak with no future. Why prolong the hoax for so long? You know there's no hope for you. You had years to defeat Yuki, and you couldn't even do that because there's something innately lacking in you. No matter how hard you try, you will always come up short. You're a failure—just born that way."
"If I am it's because everybody's been making me live down to their expectations," Ky ō replied emotionlessly though deep down his heart was hurting as he averted his gaze.
"No. It's because deep down, there is something wrong with you. In there, deep down, at your core, there is something broken—something in you that will always bring out the bad. All you'll ever be able to do is destroy the people around you—destroy the people who love you."
His father smirked, then. Darkly. It sent a wave of anger and resentment down his spine and Kyō had to keep himself from shuddering in disgust.
"I hear there's a girl who loves you . . . Honda Tohru-san, isn't that right?" his father started.
Kyō froze, ice filling his veins.
"It would make sense that there's something perverted about her, too."
"You keep her name out of your mouth!" Kyō growled in a low voice.
"There would have to be," his father went on, "for her to be depraved enough to fuck an animal like you."
"She isn't-!"
"What? A whore? That's exactly what she is. What do you call an unmarried woman who has sex for money?"
"You-!"
"You know it's true, Kyō. The cat before you had to pay for it, too. Ask Kazuma: He'll tell you how his grandfather had to convince his maid to have his child. And if she doesn't make you pay for it, it just makes her a slut. You know deep down that's what she'll be if you decide to make her yours. No one will ever look at her."
"The outside world wouldn't see her that way . . ." Kyō murmured. Not that he was even planning to be with Tohru in that way. His princess . . . was as pure as the driven snow.
"But we would see her that way. Akito would see her that way—" his father returned, "and deep down, you know that that's the only thing that matters."
Kyō looked down at the ground and took a sharp breath. He clenched his fists impotently. His expression was blank. "You . . . don't even know who I am . . ." he murmured flatly.
His father looked on, just as apathetically. "I know you. You destroy all of those around you. And you know that with time, you'll destroy Honda-san, too. It's possible if she loves you enough that your absence will undo her. Who knows if she'll go on living?"
Kyō felt himself choking, drowning as his eyes widened, his father's words hitting him far harder than he ever thought they could.
"If she kills herself," his father smirked ". . . will that be your fault, too?"
Kyō felt his breathing stop as images of a weeping Tohru filled his mind's eye. Tohru crying for him. Dying for him! Unable to move on without him!
"You see, Kyō, your love is destructive. It hurts everyone it's ever touched." His father chuckled slightly and shook his head. "I know you, Kyō . . . you're the Devil."
-.-.-
Kyō shut his eyes against the pain of those words. It would bring him to tears if he still had tears to shed for that lost relationship with his father. Besides, he had his own father—a real father. Shishō!
Kazuma-sensei had been the only real point of light in his life for a long while. Even then, however, it hadn't been enough. He was filled with the hate and resentment that abuse brings to those who are vulnerable. With his bet with Akito—that if he were to defeat Yuki he'd be allowed to go free and not be imprisoned in the cat room—Kyō had a channel for his anger. It would be Yuki's fault if he failed and were locked up. He'd be able to blame all his faults and deficiencies on Yuki. Everything that everybody had said to him, from his father to his extended family—all that anger and perceived defect he would be able to heap on Yuki's head.
Deep down, he knew it was all a lie, though: Akito may be cursed to be the god figure in their family, but he didn't really have any divine power. The more Kyō thought about it in his idle moments, the more ridiculous and futile the bet seemed. What did he expect Akito to do when he said he would add the cat to the zodiac? Akito didn't have the power to create a new constellation. He didn't have the power to create a thirteen-month calendar. But Kyō was defiant in the face of that. He'd willed himself to believe that he could succeed because he was tired of always being the odd-man-out; tired of always being second. Of not only being second but being hated and spurned his whole life. He focused his anger into demanding a place for himself in the world. He had exploded his anger in the hopes that the hatred of his own life would give him the strength to carve out a place for himself in the world. In the universe! he thought. That's what he wanted. His constellation wasn't written in the stars as the others had been. He existed outside of normal time. There was nothing—no place for him—in the universe. He was a monster. Whether he had a true monstrous form or not, he was still an other.
The others had all gone away, the house was empty. Shigure and Yuki had left because they understandably couldn't stand to be around him at this time. Not because they hated him but because . . . maybe they saw him as their whipping boy. As sad and despondent as their lives had been, Kyō's had always been destined for far worse. The abuse Yuki had suffered was made perhaps just a tad more bearable by the reinforced knowledge of his superiority to Kyō. It may not have amounted to much, but it was something. And Shigure . . . Shigure just looked as though something in his own life had profoundly failed him. Kyō knew that look and knew that it wasn't for him. Something had gone wrong in Shigure's plans for himself, though Kyō didn't know what part he himself had to play in that, though he knew it was something.
As for Tohru . . . she was working. He remembered her earlier that day trying to beg off going to work but stopped arguing with her boss over the phone the instant she'd seen him. He had no clue why she was trying to call off. She wasn't sick, was she? She'd been fine later that same day at school. And why had she stopped arguing the instant he came into view? He shook his head: He knew she would come back, probably surprised to find the house dark and nobody home.
I'll just stay up here, he thought. I'll stay away and leave her alone. It'd be selfish of me to want to see her the night before I left. . . . Then again, wouldn't it be worse for her to be completely alone tonight? He knew she loved him. Wouldn't it be worse for her to be forcibly apart from me now?
He shook his head. Both actions were selfish. He didn't want to see her because it would only hurt his heart more to have to part from her, yet he did want to see her because he wanted to drink in the sight of her for as long as he could before he left. What would be best for her, though? He couldn't pretend that he didn't have a vested interest in either action.
He didn't know for how long he'd been sitting, but it had gotten dark, the clarity of the moonlight shining through his window indirectly as he sat.
Tohru . . . I promise you, I won't be selfish anymore. I'll give up all my false dreams of having you. I'll let you go. You shouldn't have to be with me, and you shouldn't have to put up with them.
His heart ached as he thought of her. It hardly registered with him when downstairs, the doors of the house opened and closed. At the sound of her voice, though, he felt his heart hammer and he looked up with a jolt at the door of his room as she called up from the floor below.
"I'm home," she called. "Yuki-kun! Kyō! Are you home? Shigure-san!"
He heard her padding around downstairs as she went through the lower level. It only took a couple of seconds for Kyō to decide what to do as he stood up. He walked over to the door of his room and stood there for a moment, his hand on the knob, before he pulled it open and walked over to the landing. He saw her then, standing at the foot of the stairs, looking up at him.
"Ah! There, you are!" she smiled cheerfully. "I thought you were all gone!"
"No," he murmured, giving his head a slight shake. "I'm here, but the other's left," he said as she slowly came down the stairs, stopping about midway.
He tried to keep the sadness from his voice, but couldn't help but notice the slight tinge of sadness in her own face as she looked up at him.
"That's . . . why would they leave?" she asked softly. "Why wouldn't they be thinking of you, tonight of all nights?"
"Excuse me?" asked Kyō.
She shook her head. "It's nothing! Nothing at all." She let out a huff he could tell was in part disappointment. "I should get dinner started."
"Don't bother," he said. He came down the stairs the rest of the way and stopped one step up from where she was. "They're not coming back tonight. Gure-san's probably With Akito. And Yuki said he'd be spending some time with his brother."
Tohru looked down. "They should all have been here with you."
Something finally connected in Kyō's mind. She knows! She knows I'm leaving tomorrow! That they're locking me up.
Instead, he smiled. "I can understand why they'd wanna leave for a little bit. They've got things to do, it's no big deal if they miss one night."
She looked up at him, a hint of deep sadness and a soft frustration in her eyes as she looked at him. It was rare to see her any kind of frustrated. The only time he'd seen it was once before when he tried to drive her away after she chased after him in his true form. He saw it again, now.
"For how long have you known?" he asked.
Her expression changed instantly to one of surprise.
She opened her mouth to speak, but halted before finally saying, "Since the vacation house. Akito told me when he scratched my face."
In an instant, his hands were on her shoulders as the instinctive need to hold her overcame him.
"Kyō . . ." she started, tears welling in her eyes, "I . . . you shouldn't be alone tonight."
She leant forward, her head tilting against his chest. Tears began to fall, wetting his shirt, and he patted her shoulders slightly.
"Tohru, you shouldn't cry for me," he said solemnly, his head ringing with his father's words. They were like a curse that drove away happiness. And yet . . . here was Tohru, standing just as strong in his mind and driving away his father's hatred.
"How can you say that?" she murmured quietly. "Shouldn't everyone have at least one person in their lives who should cry for them?"
He looked stunned. He didn't feel worthy of her tears.
"Tohru, this isn't sad," he said, trying to convince himself as much as her. "My life . . . has been heaven ever since meeting you. Now it's just gonna go back to the way it was before. It's more of the same. I can handle it."
"You shouldn't have to, though. Kyō . . . you showed such concern for me that night on New Year's. Both you and Yuki . . . you knew better. You knew that I didn't want to be alone. You . . . should have the same courtesy," she said as her hands curled into the sleeves of his shirt.
His heart thundered when her hand came up and caressed the side of his face as she looked up at him.
"You shouldn't be alone," she whispered.
The thundering in his heart only increased as he felt the moment become charged with something.
Her eyes reflected his own and he felt drawn to them as he leant down.
I shouldn't! his mind shouted. You don't deserve her! You'll ruin her!
He ignored his mind as his heart replied, I . . . can't I be selfish, just this once?
The doubt eased off as Tohru tilted her head to meet his lips. Her chest tightened when their lips met.
His their holds became tighter as the light kiss seemed to grow and linger. Neither one of them wanted it to end. He felt himself pour all of his future loneliness into the kiss, and he felt her pour all of her love and desire for him into the expression.
Kyō flushed as heat washed over them both as they nuzzled each other.
There was something deeper growing in his chest and spreading through his abdomen. A kind of hunger and want as his grip on her shoulders tightened.
The kiss broke off, and as they looked at each other, the recognized the sense that they had each crossed a line.
There was a moment of silence as they looked at each other, searching for something. Finally, it was Tohru who broke the silence.
"Kyō," she whispered, "you are good enough."
"Tohru-" he started, unable to finish the thought.
"You are allowed to be selfish, just this once," she said as she took his hand, running her fingers over the rosary beads on his wrist. The move was so intimate, he couldn't help feeling his stomach turn as she did so.
He felt the grip of his other hand instinctively tighten on her shoulder.
"I don't think you know what you're asking," he said as he looked down at her. His voice was becoming dark as he spoke. Deep down, even he didn't know what he was asking.
"Kyō . . . you're listening to people who tell you that . . . that your love isn't good enough. To people told you that you were born broken. You weren't. You aren't—even now. The person in front of me . . . is beautiful."
He couldn't breathe. Her words washed over him like cool, fresh water.
"There's nobody else in the whole world like you, Kyō," she whispered, "and I love you. Your love . . . is good enough," she said as she ran a hand through his hair.
How did she have this power over him? How did she have the power to break his father's spell? How did she have the ability to see him?
He felt desire and want well up within him as he looked down at her.
The constant push and pull of his father's words continued to pummel him even as he focused on Tohru—the only bright thing in the world.
The realization came to him gradually as he looked down at her: He wanted to be close to her. Intimate with her. And he realised at that moment just what his body wanted. His soul wanted her love, and each caress of his face had him feeling that; it was that feeling of physical desire for her that had him stopping himself. He suddenly knew where this was going. He knew that he would keep going if she let him . . . and looking into her innocent, loving eyes, he knew she would let him.
"Tohru . . . I think I should go upstairs," he whispered. He couldn't keep himself from trembling as he spoke. He felt a raw longing for her as he saw the open vulnerability in her eyes.
He took a slight step up toward his room. He smiled, trying to hide the confluence of his love and want for her.
She nodded and took a step back, herself. "I'll get dinner started," she smiled as he let go of her shoulder and as she let go of his wrist.
"Just make enough for yourself," he said with a tender look.
"You should eat, too," she chided.
He said nothing as he held back his response. He only smiled and walked slowly up the stairs without a word. He didn't bother turning on the hall light or the light to his room as he closed the door behind him before flopping down on his mattress, his hands behind his head.
He loved her. Deeply. She was the only thing in this world who had given him a hope beyond hope. He could take advantage of that offer, he thought. He could let himself drown in her love for him and it still wouldn't be enough. It would all lead to his leaving tomorrow, though. In the end, they would both be alone. All his hopes had revolved around freeing himself from his destiny in the cat room. He had realised the hope of having fatherly love and affection in his life when Shishō had taken him on as his ward. He never knew that he could be loved like that.
And then Tohru! His heart swelled in his chest at the thought of her. The only woman I could ever dream of having in my life. Of holding her in my arms. In his imagination, he could see himself making love to her. Holding her in his arms and making her sigh for only him. He imagined what it would be like to make her his, imagining the joy of intimacy with her. It was indescribable. He only knew that he wanted her to be his wife. He wanted to be her husband! He wanted to provide for her. He wanted to be a team with her! He could see her with children, doting on them, and listening to them. Nurturing them as much as she nurtured everyone around her. He could see both of them dealing with their children's illnesses. With ice cream cones and birthday parties, festivals and school functions. He dreamt of a domestic life for himself with a large family around him—none of them cursed. He dreamt of having friends, and of what it would be like to take over Shishō's dojo. He imagined grandchildren.
He shook his head, almost disgusted with his thoughts. Miracles were things of fancy and lovers were not sent by the gods. What right did he have to want that with her?
It wasn't a right, he chided. It would be a gift.
Still, he couldn't help the nagging feeling that he would end up only dragging her down. Was it his destiny to always be suspicious of happiness? He doubted the love of so many people around him—what if hers was just another-No!
He shook his head as the look in her eyes when they'd kissed told him everything he needed to know. She was truly in love with him.
He felt his chest tighten as that thought swirled in his heart more and more. He should be downstairs with her right now! But he didn't move. He didn't dare.
She . . . loves me . . . ! his heart retorted.
It wasn't that she had never said the words before or that he didn't know her feelings . . . it was that the connection at that moment felt stronger for him than it ever had. Would she let him hold her, in so far as he could? She had let him kiss her, but would she tolerate more? Would she let him . . . ? And would he let her . . . ? And would they let each other . . . ?
His breathing became rougher as he tried to calm his thoughts.
He didn't hear much sound coming from downstairs, just some indistinct shuffling sounds. He expected at any moment to hear the sounds of her cooking, but ten minutes went by. Then twenty. Still nothing.
At last, he heard the sounds of Tohru as she made her way up the stairs.
What on Earth had she been doing down there?
He heard her footsteps stop just outside his door.
He didn't breathe. He didn't blink.
He heard her softly knock on his door.
"Kyō . . ." she called.
There was something in her voice, something trembling, sad and halting, that had him launching himself from his bed instantly and flinging open the door.
There she stood, her eyes red from having been crying.
Had she been downstairs all this time?! He resisted the urged to hold her as he beat himself mentally. He should've known when five minutes of silence went by without a sound from her downstairs that something was up! Why did he have to be so self-involved! He heard his father's voice, then, chiding him in that painful way as he looked down at Tohru's tears, her shining, beautiful eyes.
"I know you," his father's voice resounded. "You destroy all of those around you. And you know that with time, you'll destroy Honda-san, too.
Her look was hurting him as his father's words rang true in his heart. That fatal thought was put to an end in an instant when she looked up at him through her tears. Such a look of love and sweet sadness he had never seen in the face of another person. Not for him. It was a look meant only for him, and he felt his breath catch in his lungs.
"Tohru . . ." he whispered, stunned. He was unable to say what he'd been thinking—that she shouldn't be crying for him at all—but he couldn't. Her tears were a gift. She gave them for him freely. As she had said . . . everyone should have at least one person in their lives who should cry for them.
He caught her by the shoulders as she fell against him as sobs wracked her body. She clung to his sleeves as she whispered his name again and again.
"Kyō . . . you should've expected better for yourself. For your life."
"I did," he murmured back. "That's what I think got me into trouble—got us into trouble."
She looked up at him through her watery gaze. "You had every right to demand better for your life."
"Tohru-!" he whispered harshly as his grip tightened slightly, "Don't! Don't say such things when things are looking the way they are! How can you say that I had the right to look for better in my own life when things are as hopeless as they are! This has all been an illusion. This has all been a dream: a false promise of freedom."
"Then cherish the dream!" she said back, her voice halting and meek even as it challenged him. "If you're only ever free in your dreams, then cherish them!"
"I . . . I can't, I . . . ." His father's words rang in his head again. "It was fated from the beginning and there was no way to change it," he murmured as pain touched his heart. "I should've given up long ago, before I met you. I'd've been able to spare us . . . ."
He suddenly felt her soft hand on his cheek. "Then I'll cherish your dreams for the both of us. No one should be spared from love. You have as much right to be loved as the next person. You talk about your life here with me, your life with Shigure and Yuki and the other zodiac members, as if it were a dream. Kyō," she said as she took his hand and placed it on her heart, "my love for you is not a dream. My love for you is real. Can you feel my heart?"
He leant his forehead against hers and was silent again for a moment before he spoke. "How is it possible that you fell for me and not for Yuki? How is it possible that despite everything, you're willing to risk your love on me?"
She was quiet for a moment. "When I lost my mother, I swore to myself that no one would ever take her place in my heart—of course, no one would ever be able to do that. More than that, though . . . I swore that nobody else's love would ever take priority. But then I fell in love with you, and you became that priority for me. And I struggled with myself before being able to accept that my feelings for you were taking precedence over my mother."
Kyō took a breath that was almost a sob. "And you're about to lose me, too. Forever," he said, almost choking on the words. He wanted to throw them in the garbage. He wanted to take Tohru's hand and run away with her at that instant, far, far away in the mountains, beyond the forest, above the trees. He wanted her to himself. "How can you say that it was worth it? How can it have been worth it if we have to give it up?"
"I'm not giving up yet!" she said softly.
"I'm leaving tomorrow."
"If it takes a year or a hundred, I'll find a way to break the curse. I will set you free!"
"You're living with a hopeless illusion, too," he said quietly.
"Then it's my illusion!" she cried, her tears falling freely. "We'll always be free right here, right now if not in the future. No one can erase this time we've had together. No one can erase this moment," she sobbed.
He looked down at her sadly as he cupped her cheek. "Tohru . . . I would've made you my wife," he whispered. "If I had my way . . . we'd be a family, you and I."
She reached up and caressed his face with both hands, her fingers stringing his hair. "As far as I'm concerned, we are. We can be." She watched with a kind of delight when his eyes closed and he nuzzled into the caress.
He felt the niggle of desire well within him. He didn't dare to hope nor did he dare to suggest that they should act on his feelings.
"Tohru . . . you don't know what you're saying."
"I know what I'm saying," as she reached up and planted a tender kiss on his lips. "I know that I want you."
Kyō felt his breathing slow as his hands slid down her torso and found themselves at the hem of her blouse.
What was he doing?
He stopped himself as he looked down at her.
"I can't shame you like that," he murmured as he rested his forehead against hers. "We aren't married."
She shook her head. "I don't care," she whispered back. "I'd live with it."
"You're not that kind of girl. I know what people'll say about you. I couldn't bear it if your life were made harder because of me."
"Don't you think you're worth anything, Kyō?" she asked.
He couldn't answer. He was too shamed to say either way. He couldn't say he was worthless without devaluing her love and affection for him. He couldn't say he did deserve her love without kindling that hope within him, again, that there might someday be somekind of future out there for him outside of that which had been prescribed for him—somekind of future with her.
"Can't we just pretend—can't you pretend—just for tonight that you do have a future, even if you don't believe it?"
He felt his body react as desire pooled itself in his abdomen. He felt heat and sexual wanting jolt through him as she offered him an escape from reality—an escape he never dreamt he'd ever have been offered.
He didn't want to feel this! He wanted his love for her to be pure! But looking down at her, he realised she was filled with the same desire. Was it . . . wrong for her—his innocent Tohru—to want that with him? He felt so dirty, so . . . incomplete standing next to her.
"How the hell can you love me?" he whispered.
She leant up and kissed his lips. He took a step back. Then another. And she followed him.
"You want me to pretend?" Kyō said, his voice breaking as her hand reached for his.
"If you can't hope, then yes."
"It hurts too much to hope," he whispered as she closed the distance between them.
He looked away, closing his eyes as his thoughts took over. Was he really going to do this? Was he really going to allow this? Didn't he have a duty to protect her from himself?
His eyes opened when he heard the door to his room gently close.
Kyō gently removed himself from her, looking from her face and the door she'd just closed with the back of her foot.
For a moment, he didn't know what he was going to do, but it seemed his body had made some kind of decision as he walked around her, feeling heat and lust flood him as he made his way over to the door.
What was he going to do?
He reached for the doorknob, knowing that his next action would as good as seal his intentions.
He took a shuddering breath and locked the door.
The click seemed to almost resonate in both their ears. For a moment, he only looked at the locked door as he drew his hand away. He took a shaky breath as he felt his pants become tighter in anticipation. He tried to ignore the sensation as he looked down at the ground and then over to her. She was smiling shyly, a blush across her cheeks.
He moved slowly till she was within arm's length. He didn't know where to start as his hands rested once again on her shoulders.
"You said 'It hurts too much to hope,' Kyō, but it's real," she insisted, her voice soft and trembling as she took his beaded hand and kissed the rosary around his wrist.
Kyō felt his heart thundering at the intimate action. His heart stopped, however, when she removed his beads.
"Tohru! What're you-?!" but he stopped when he realised that nothing was happening. He was stunned into silence. The memory flashed in his mind of when she had first chased after him in his true form. She'd run after him and held his hand as she begged him to return. And even without the rosary, he had taken human shape again. When he was with her . . . did he no longer need the beads?
She reached up and caressed his cheek with her hand as he stared down at her, stunned. He let out a gasp that was almost a sob as he cupped her face and pulled her into a deep kiss which she returned as their tears mingled with each other.
Tohru! his mind shouted, What are you?
The woman who loves you and wants to be with you, he heard a voice speak back. Was it her?
As they kissed he felt her hands reach into his hair as she gently pulled him down, deeper into the kiss. He let her hands trail down the front of his chest and his abs till they found themselves at the hem of his black t-shirt.
Dark thoughts began filling his mind but he beat them back with his promise to Tohru that he would pretend for tonight.
He broke the kiss and stepped back before reaching down and pulling off his t-shirt for himself before stalking back over to her.
"Are you sure?" he asked as he carefully reached for the buttons of her shirt. He stilled his hands as he waited a beat for her answer.
A blush crossed her face and she nodded humbly. "I'm sure . . . because it's you," she whispered.
How the hell did she always do that? How the hell was she able to always make him feel singled out and special, in a good way? How was she able to cut through the darkness of his life with a machete and stand there above it all? She had made herself the most important thing in his life. More important than his father, than Akito, than his rivalry with Yuki. She had eased the pain of his existence.
He carefully started undoing the buttons on her blouse and heard the gentle clatter as she let his rosary fall to the floor. He undid the last button and for a moment did nothing as he took a deep breath before reaching his hands inside and parting the closure, reaching up and letting it slide over her shoulder before it fell, crumpling to the ground.
Looking back to her face, he felt himself grow hotter—his pants grow tighter—when he saw the way she was looking at his body. She wanted him, and it made him feel strong. Powerful, even.
Her blush deepened as she, careful not to hug him, closed the distance between them, pressing her bare skin against his flesh as they drew each other into another kiss. She slid her hands into his hair, moaning slightly as Kyō ran his hands down her torso and grazed her thigh.
"K-Kyō," she moaned in a whisper as he did so. She felt heat flood through her body as the kiss deepened and felt desire swell between her thighs as he held her.
She broke the kiss for a moment and stepped back to undo her brassiere.
Kyō looked on for a moment before stammering, "W-Wait! Wait!" A mad blush tinting his face as he held up his hands.
"Wha-? D-don't you want me to?" she asked carefully.
He nodded slowly and closed his eyes as he faced the ground. His blush remained as he closed the distance between them, his footsteps thudding on the ground, and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"I do . . . I just don't wanna rush this," he said quietly.
The hook was already undone.
"I just . . . want things to be right with you," he murmured as he hooked his thumbs under the shoulder straps and began moving them down. "I never had the hope of doing this with any woman, let alone you," he added as the fabric continued its descent, "and I want to savour you. You're a treasure, and I want to show you that," he murmured as at last, the straps were off her shoulders. He held his breath when he saw her breasts, her naked chest, letting the bra fall at their feet before pulling her close again, and letting her bare chest rest against his as they pulled each other into another kiss.
Through the kiss, they held each other carefully, running their hands along each other's bodies, carefully keeping their hands in front of each other to prevent anything that might accidentally constitute a hug. Eventually, they pulled away from each other. Kyō watched as Tohru carefully stepped out of her slippers and removed her stockings before watching breathlessly as she reached her hands behind her to remove her skirt.
Kyō's blush deepened and he stepped closer and took hold of her skirt as it started to fall, letting it slide through his fingers. He stared down at her, his eyes slowly roaming her body before landing at the meeting of her thighs. He placed his hands on her shoulders again and watched her carefully as she smiled up at him. She shifted her gaze, however, and let her hands close the distance between them as she reached for his belt and the button of his pants, undoing them as he looked on, unable to move, feeling as though he were living someone else's life.
Kyō let her unzip him and let his pants slide to the ground as he let his own hands move to her waist and hooked his thumbs into her underwear. He looked into her eyes for permission and breathed out a sigh of longing when she nodded, "yes." He slowly drew them down to the floor, following them down as he knelt before her. He looked up at her now, his princess, fully naked and pale in the light that shone through his window.
She turned and stepped back until she felt his bed behind her and sat down on it. Kyō shuffled over as well, still kneeling as he stepped out of his pants. When he looked up at her, he could see her returning his ardent look, gazing with shy interest at the tent in his boxers which he carefully removed, sliding them down and freeing his erection. His breath hitched slightly at the thought that he was the first naked man she had ever seen like this. His heart was thundering in his chest even as he looked up at Tohru. She smiled down at him, love shining in her eyes as she reached down and caressed his hair. He cocked a smile in return as he stood up and out of his boxers and moved closer to her.
He knelt back down, his face closer between her legs than he was before. He placed his hands on her knees and gently massaged them as he looked up at her, his look reflecting clear adoration. She was so beautiful. He revelled in how precious it was that she was sharing this moment with him. Tohru, looking at his length carefully, held back a soft laugh, noting that the hair around it was the same bright orange colour as the hair on his head. He followed her gaze before looking up at her again, somewhat insecure at what her reaction meant.
His look was clear. He was openly vulnerable, and she wanted to make sure he was at ease. She placed a reassuring hand on his cheek. "I've just . . . never seen a man naked before. I didn't know it would be the same colour," she said, smiling.
Kyō blushed and looked away. "Yeah, it's the same colour," he said begrudgingly. After a beat, he glanced up at her out of the corner of his eye and saw how she turned away, suddenly bashful. The intimacy of seeing him naked—and of her being naked in front of him—suddenly seemed to overwhelm her as her cheeks were tinged with pink.
She seemed so shy, not wanting to state her blatant desire for him. He took a moment to look between her legs, too, memorising the way the pink flesh at her entrance looked.
She glanced down at him and caught him looking. "K-Kyō!" she shouted softly, suddenly self-conscious. She refrained from crossing her legs, though, feeling as though she wanted to acclimate herself to this new level of intimacy.
He looked up at her cautiously from his kneeling position. "Oi, Tohru . . . you can look at me . . . if you want." He turned to deliberately expose himself to her more, a mad blush deepening across his face.
"Kyō . . . I mean . . . shouldn't . . . isn't-"
"Hey," he chided softly as he looked down at the ground between them, "if we're going to go all the way, shouldn't we get used to seeing each other?"
She stilled for a moment but then nodded softly, her blush creeping further along her face, and took a moment before looking back down at his cock. The skin was tan like the rest of him. She noted the red bulb at the top and the band of taut foreskin just beneath it.
She blushed even more deeply as she looked at it. "C-Can I touch it?" she asked.
Kyō felt his chest tighten, saying nothing, but nodded tightly in a bid to hide his embarrassment.
Mustering her courage, she reached down between the two of them and touched the tip of his erection. Kyō said nothing but sucked in a deep breath through his nose. She ran her hand down the smooth skin of the shaft, leaning over from the bed as she ran her fingers through the hair at the base before gently wrapping her hand around the shaft.
Tohru stilled her movements as Kyō slowly brought his hand over to hers. He silently guided her, showing her how to grip it and run her hand from base to tip. The skin felt smooth, and she was surprised that, in spite of how hard it seemed, it could be yielding, too.
She continued feeling it, exploring it, getting used to it as Kyō tried to keep himself from making any noise except for his breathing.
After stroking it a few times, Tohru looked on in a kind of surprise and took her hand away when a bead of clear pre pooled at the top.
"Ah! No," he said quickly. "That's not! It . . . that's . . . that happens . . . when a man . . . feels pleasure," he said at last. "It's just part of . . . what comes out," he finished in a low voice. His blush seemed to be spreading to his whole body now.
She nodded and looked down at it once more. "Did . . . did you want to look at me, too?" she asked.
He looked over at her, still feeling somewhat embarrassed, and nodded as he stood up.
She said nothing as he sat next to her on the bed.
She couldn't help looking at his cock again, and Kyō could feel his blush grow brighter.
"Tohru . . . are you . . . sure you want to go all the way?" he asked as he slowly looked over to her.
She was looking slightly down at the ground before her, now.
"We don't have to do this," he continued. "We can-"
"No, Kyō," she whispered quietly. "I'm sure. I want to have this with you. I want to share my body with you."
His look hardened and he grit his teeth. He looked down at himself, examining his arms and hands. He felt her hands on his bare skin and he sucked in a breath as she slowly massaged his back and felt around his chest. She was facing him sideways and taking her time as she explored him. Eventually, her hands made it down to his length again, and he felt as she took hold of him, carefully running her fingers over the head and spreading the pearl of semen around it.
Kyō let out a stunned breath. She wanted him. She wanted his body with hers. Deep down, he felt a kind of ardent lust fill him even as he tried to check those sensations. He couldn't however; not when she had said what she had said. She was too good for him. He knew it—everyone knew it. But she wanted him, anyway.
She wants to share her body with mine! He felt himself harden even more at the memory of her words. She wants me to share mine with hers . . . . His mind drifted as the meaning of that thought clutched in his chest as he looked from his erection to the parting of her thighs, and his breath shuddered.
Her hands eventually gripped his shoulders and drew him forward and down as she lent sideways. He followed slowly, eventually catching himself on his arms, holding himself away from her at an arms-length to once again prevent any semblance of a hug.
She brought her legs onto the bed and parted them for him. His chest tightened, and he felt himself throb as he watched her slim waist disappear beneath his. He looked up into her eyes and saw her own shining back at him with such love and admiration. At that moment, he thought their joy would fill the world. All he needed was this forever.
With a steady hand, he reached for his length and for the first time leant back and really got a good look at her nethers. It was the most erotic moment of his life, and as he looked down to her, Tohru could swear she saw the same glimmering love and admiration for her as she felt for him.
Just this once, thought Tohru, let yourself be happy, Kyō! It's all I want for you . . . it's all I want for us right now!
She let out a tiny squeak when she felt his hardness brush against her nether region.
"Tohru . . ." she heard him say softly, "where . . . where is it? I don't know . . . ."
When he trailed off, she smiled softly and sat up slightly and found him staring at the part between her legs. He looked up at her hesitantly. Blushing with profound embarrassment, she reached down between her thighs and parted her lips to show him.
"It's here," she said, softly dabbing the inner flesh with her finger, stifling a moan.
He looked her in the face. "Here?" he asked as he reached his hand, following her finger, and touched her, keeping a steady eye on the opening she'd shown him. He felt his chest tighten and his cock throb with anticipation as he thought about entering her.
"K-Kyō . . ." she gasped in a whisper as his feather-light touch sent a spark through her.
He looked up at her with a kind, careful smile on his face. "Does it feel good?" he asked, his voice low and husky.
She nodded her head silently.
He trailed his fingers around her opening and watched her gasp. "Do you want me to do it more?" he asked.
"K-Kyō . . . y-you don't have to-!"
"But I want to. May I?" he asked.
She nodded.
"Will you be honest with me? Will you tell me if I do something wrong?"
"K-Kyō, I-"
"Please, promise me you'll tell me if I do something wrong. I want to show you how much I love you."
Her eyes opened wide at his words, love filling her vision as he looked on. She gave a slight nod and watched his kind smile return.
"Thank you," he said.
She gasped when she felt his finger gently trail the circumference of her folds. He reached the top, the tip of his finger gently grazing the apex.
Tohru gasped at the sensation and felt as Kyō rubbed her there, again. She covered her mouth to prevent a cry from leaving her mouth and slightly covered her face with the other.
She felt him stop and looked up slightly between her fingers.
He was smiling down at her lovingly. "Tohru," he said, his baritone voice carrying a soft and comforting tone, "don't hide yourself from me, please."
"But I . . . I might be making an ugly face," she whispered.
His smile widened slightly as he reached down to caress her cheek and brush her hand away in one motion.
"You're always beautiful to me, Tohru. You don't have to hide from me."
"I . . . Ky ō . . . ."
"Look at me," he murmured as he carefully ran his fingers over the hood at the top of her mound and watched as she closed her eyes, and moaned out in pleasure, a tiny cry that reached his ears as he continued.
"Does it feel best here?" he asked.
She couldn't answer, her mouth falling slightly agape and tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she nodded.
He reached beneath the hood and touched the tiny button he felt there.
"Ow!" she cried in a quiet voice.
He stopped instantly.
"Are you okay?" he asked, worry filling his voice and his look full of concern.
"Just, give me a moment. It's too sensitive for you to touch me there."
"Does it hurt at all when I touch above it?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"Like this?" he asked as he started touching her where he had been before.
She nodded.
"Stop for a moment before you go on," she asked.
He nodded and waited for her to give him the go-ahead.
"Can I touch you someplace else before I touch you there again?" he asked.
She nodded and felt as his fingers circled lower, eventually reaching her opening once again. She felt as his fingers gingerly parted her lips while another finger gently felt around the outside of her opening, dipping slightly inside.
She let out a high pitched sigh and brought her hand to her mouth as she let out moans of pleasure.
Kyō continued what he was doing, watching her face as deep joy spread throughout his chest at the knowledge that he could make her feel this way. He gingerly let his finger feel inside her, sensing the ridges, almost like the roof of his mouth. She bit her lower lip in pleasure, her eyes closed as she continued letting out her little cries. They grew louder as Kyō led his fingers back up to the hood and began carefully circling her there. He couldn't get enough of looking at her so intimately. He felt fascinated by the way she looked.
Tohru gasped as he pushed a finger into her opening again and began carefully rotating it around.
Kyō felt an urge well up within him. He'd heard the guys at his school talking about putting their mouths on women. He had no idea how it was supposed to work, but the urge to try was strong. He considered for a moment how Tohru would react. Before he could let himself think about it or about how it might be received, he lowered his face between her legs, supporting himself on his hands and dipped his tongue into her opening, wondering how she would taste.
Tohru watched what he did but the motion was too quick for her to say anything. His head was between her thighs, and she suddenly felt his tongue on her, dipping into her.
"Ky-Kyō!" she cried out at the sensation. She gasped loudly when she felt his tongue lave from her petals up to the top of her hood. Sparks flew behind her eyelids as he did so. Her moans of pleasure only encouraged him as he continued his tongue's ministrations there. "Y-Yes! J-Just like that!" she moaned. Her cries of pleasure grew louder and louder as he continued what he was doing. She felt the pleasure spread from that point of contact through her body like a hose of warm water that sent out slow streams of pleasure through her being. She instinctively arched her back, pushing against his mouth.
She could feel herself reaching for something as the pleasure mounted at the point of contact, spreading throughout the region near her thighs.
"Kyō . . . ! I never . . . ! I've never . . . !"
"Tohru . . ." he whispered against her flesh, his voice dark with desire, "what do you want from me?"
"Only you," she cried as the pleasure seemed to be reaching a fever pitch. "You're all I could ask for!"
Kyō felt his chest swell with need at her words as he continued his motions just as he had before and was rewarded when, moments later, his sweet Tohru came for him.
"K-Kyō!" she cried as her hands reached for him, as they desperately sought to cling to him. She felt points of pleasure bursting throughout her body, centred on the place where Kyō touched her. She felt herself contracting involuntarily, and she realised vaguely, somewhere in the back of her mind, that she wanted Kyō inside her.
I might never have thought of myself as that kind of girl, she thought to herself as she came down from her orgasm, but with Kyō, it's different. I'm different.
Tohru opened her eyes to find Kyō looking down at her as his own body loomed over her. He sat back a moment and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before allowing his body to cover hers once again. She looked into his eyes, his light smile gazing down at her affectionately as he reached down to cup her head. She felt his erection pressing against her inner thigh and she looked between them to look at it again, wondering what it would feel like to have it inside her—to have Kyō inside her.
She was still huffing in the aftermath of the pleasure he'd given her but shifted as Kyō moved the covers and pulled them over the both of them before carefully covering her body with his.
It was suddenly so much more intimate as they lay there beneath the sheets, holding each other and gazing into each other's eyes. It felt as if there were only the two of them.
There was a tense yet precious moment of silence as he stared down at her.
Tohru only knew that she wanted more. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to give him the same pleasure that he'd given her. "Please, Kyō," she whispered, "I . . . I . . . ." She could barely think as she brought her hand to his collar bone and pulled him down slowly.
"Tohru," he said in that dark whisper of his, "are you sure? I don't want to ruin you."
"You can't," she said as she reached her other hand and threaded her fingers through his hair. "All I know is that I love you. And I know you, Kyō. You want to have a place in the world. Everybody wants a place where they belong."
She . . . she can't know me, the voice in his head insisted. I don't belong! My father knows me. He sees me for who I am—a monster!
His eyes suddenly flashed open and found his defiance met with the warm, embracing regard of his goddess. She was his world right now, but he couldn't help the self-doubt that plagued him.
"Tohru . . ." his voice trembled as he felt his body align with hers, fear and passion and happiness and love bursting through him as he felt his erection brush her entrance. He stopped short. He didn't deserve this. Not with her!
"What's stopping you?" she asked softly.
"Tohru, how is this real? I . . . Tohru . . . I don't belong anywhere. Not in this house, not in this family, not in this universe." Not with y-!
"It's because you belong with me," she said quietly as she took his hand gently. "And if you belong nowhere, I'll belong nowhere with you."
His eyes widened at her words.
"My love is strong enough, Kyō. My love is good enough. I know what I'm worth," she insisted quietly.
"Tohru . . . how can you love me? How can you know me?" he whispered, his face inches from hers. "How can you . . . want me like this?"
"I know you, Kyō," she whispered, her adoring gaze penetrating him as her eyes met his. "You're the most wonderful man—the man I love," she finished softly.
His mouth was on hers in an instant as he felt her love wrap around him like a cocoon that shielded them from the world. He broke the kiss as he reached his hand down to take hold of his length and aimed it at her entrance before looking back up at her for permission.
She nodded carefully, smiling softly as she caressed the side of his face. "I'm ready, Kyō . . . my body is yours," she whispered.
He nodded and looked down between them as he whispered, "And mine . . . is yours, Tohru." He paused and let out a shuddering breath before slowly rocking his hips forward. He watched the tip of his erection make its way inside her folds and let out a soft growl at the heat he felt there.
Tohru kept her eyes on his face, seeing his brow knit in pleasure, his eyes focused down between them and moaned as she felt the soft yet somehow solid intrusion make its way inside her. "K-Kyō!" she gasped.
Once the tip was knocked at her warm entrance, he removed his hand and supported himself on his forearms as he slowly began to sink into her, relishing the tension on his length as it bowed in. The further he pushed, the wetter she felt and the easier it became.
Kyō closed his eyes and held back moans as his sex descended deeper and deeper into the warmth and wetness of her body, revelling in the sensation as his cock parted her petals for the first time. He worked to keep himself from trembling but couldn't help the tell-tale sign of his shuddering breaths as he moaned her name in his mind, Tohru! Tohru! Her heat surrounded the head of his manhood in an indescribable way. She was so warm to him!
He let out a shuddering breath as he continued pushing in, slowly moving centimetre by centimetre. He was determined to take it slow. Doing this with someone you loved required care, Kyō thought, and he wasn't about to desecrate Tohru's first time by barging into the gift of her body. At each little gasp, he stopped and opened his eyes to make sure she was alright only continuing at her reassurance.
After only a few more moments he finally felt himself seated, fully sheathed within her. He could feel his erection throbbing with his heartbeat, pulsing within her tight core as the heat from her core sank into his length. He took some deep breaths as the pressure surrounding his shaft, the sensation of heat, and the knowledge that it was she with whom he was doing this was nearly enough to send him over the edge.
It was so strange to think this, but his cock felt at home, as though it belonged there and nowhere else. The sensation brought with it a calming feeling of safety. Not only was his cock where it belonged, but he himself was exactly where he belonged—in her arms, holding her beneath him. She was his home, he realised! He was hers. How would he ever be able to let her go?!
His thoughts raced as possessiveness and raw passion heated his blood. I swear, Tohru! I swear by everything in me that I'll never give up until you're in my arms again! Until I can have you this way forever!
His breath shuddered, his fiery gaze pinning her to him. "Tohru, I promise you that someday . . . I will make you my wife!"
"Kyō!" she cried tenderly. Tears fell from the corners of her eyes. "I'm so happy, Kyō!" she added. After a few moments, she went on. "I promise you, I'll wait for you. For as long as it takes," she said caressing his face. "No matter what they say, I'll always think of you as my husband, Kyō!"
He bent down and captured her lips, his eyes closing.
Tonight, he thought, tonight you are my wife!
In his heart, he thought he could hear her voice calling back—Always, Kyō!
When at last he'd had a moment to calm himself, he pulled away and opened his eyes. "Did I hurt you at all?" he asked in a soft whisper as he looked down at her. "When I took you?" he added.
He watched her eyes open as she shook her head. "No, you went slow."
He saw her worry her lip and he arched his eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing," she said, smiling and shaking her head. "I was just worried because they told me that it was supposed to hurt, but . . ." her voice began to tremble, "you took care of me . . . ."
He wanted to hold her to himself more at that moment than he ever had at any other time.
"Of course I did," he said, his voice just as shaky. "You're the woman I love."
They were each in each other's power as he leant in for another kiss.
When they parted, he smiled and nuzzled her cheek.
"I can feel you, Kyō," she whispered, nuzzling back and kissing his cheek. "You feel strong."
Kyō let out a shuddering breath as he swore he was able to feel her heartbeat through her walls, pulsing around him. Never in his life had he felt so connected to anyone as he did to her. And it could only be because it was she! He was certain of that beyond any shadow of a doubt.
They allowed for a quiet moment to pass as his length soaked inside her, allowing it to stretch her—allowing her a moment to adjust.
After a few moments of kissing, Kyō finally nuzzled down her cheek and bent down to speak in her ear. "I'm gonna start moving now if that's alright," he whispered. "Remember your promise: Tell me if anything hurts," he said.
She gave a slight nod, and he looked down in satisfaction as she began to moan when he moved his hips, carefully pushing his length in and out in a slow, shallow thrust, shuddering himself as his length penetrated her.
Her body was a miracle! He felt a groan leave his throat unbidden as the head of his cock nestled deep within her pool of heat. He pulled out all the way, needing to repeat the sensation of sinking into her again and again. He brought the tip to her entrance and allowed it to part her flesh. The going was slightly easier this time but he still felt a tightening sensation in his chest as he felt the head of his length sink into her, the velvet crests caressing it, the sensation indescribably blissful as he said her name like a prayer. He repeated the action a few more times, working himself in and out, needing to live in that moment of taking her and making her his.
"Kyō!" she cried in a hushed whisper as the repeated sensations of pleasure thrummed through her with each movement. "Yes!" she cried as she reached for his shoulders.
"Tohru . . ." he gasped slightly as he slowly worked himself in and out. He needed to feel this . . . to feel himself taking her. He needed to feel like she was really his, to prove it to himself that this was actually happening.
He indulged himself a few more shallow thrusts at the opening of her depths before slowly working up to deep, plunging thrusts before consciously slowing down again as he sucked in air, elation gripping him as he tried to keep himself from being swept away by the sensations he found in her body.
He whispered her name as he continued; and as he did, his slow, shallow thrusts gradually came faster. He moaned for her as with each movement he felt as he slowly began sinking deeper, craving more of her heat around him. He remembered the way his fingers had massaged that pleasurable area at the apex of her thighs and tried to angle his thrusts to give her a similar kind of sensation, pushing all the way in and grinding the base of his length against her.
Tohru cried out beneath him at the sensation and arched against him, meeting his thrusts with her own as she strove to increase their pleasure. She moved with him, the sensation of his entering her fulfilling her in more ways than she could have thought. At that moment, she wanted to feel that way forever, to have him inside her forever as she gave into to her desire for him, the deep craving she felt for him, body and soul.
She glanced up at him, watching the strain on his face as he took pleasure in her body while also working to bring her to orgasm. She felt wanton for the first time in her life. She had never felt this way before in her life. Kyō's body . . . was objectively handsome and she felt a lust for it as she never had before. She had never ever given herself permission to look at him that way and now she felt such a craving for him—for his body—in this carnal way that seemed so foreign. She had never ever felt his skin on hers before . . . not like this! Now, each touch seemed electric as the barriers between them had come down, crashing like the walls of Jericho. She ran her hands up and down his arms, over his chest and down his abs. Gaining courage, she brought her fingers down to the point of their joining, feeling his shaft with her fingers as with each stroke he entered her and she heard him grunt above her in pleasure. She looked up into his face and saw him staring down at her intently.
"Tohru . . ." he growled in a low voice.
She suddenly felt him quicken his pace and she brought her fingers away. She pressed her hips up against each of his thrusts, wanting to take him in deeper as she spread her legs for him more.
"K-Kyō!" she cried as the rapturous sensations caught her up in flames of delight. "M-More!" she heard herself say.
He let out a sigh of pleasure as his manhood seemed to grow harder, the sensation of her walls around him bringing him higher and higher toward the altar of pleasure. Sweat began to gather on his brow as he held himself aloft on his forearms. As much as he tried to keep himself aloft on a steady plateau of pleasure, he eventually felt himself reaching the tipping point, like the final plunge of a sinking ship.
Kyō groaned as he felt her body draw him in deeper—as he felt his cock being pulled into her, fitting around him like a velvet glove, as though it were becoming part of her. Their moans and his continued rocking formed a feedback loop of ecstasy, driving them to exultation as they moved with each other.
Tohru's cries came louder and louder as she felt the firmness of his length penetrating deeper and deeper, joining her, and pleasuring her in ways she hadn't thought possible. She felt the head of his erection reach deep within her as she gazed up at him, her eyes filled with rapture as her heart filled with the warming knowledge that they were taking pleasure in each other—that he was feeling for her what she was feeling for him.
He plunged deeply, and she moaned with him as he gyrated his hips against her nether region, his groin pressing and massaging her pearl from the outside as their innocent love surrounded them, holding them fast as they sailed together
Sparks flew behind her eyes as the pleasure spread through her. Her breaths came out in short huffs as she cried, "Kyō . . . ! Kyō . . . ! Please . . . !" She frantically gripped the sheets and curled her toes as she felt herself reaching her limit.
He grit his teeth and pushed in hard and deep before setting a quick pace that bounced his waist against hers.
Kyō felt surreal as the pleasure within him mounted. His face flushed red as he continued to move, needing to feel more of her as he thrust faster and faster. He was aware of where every part of them was. He could hear her cries, he could feel the way her petals clutched his length, he could feel light sweat gathering on his forehead and shoulders as he moved. He felt her hands grip his upper arms, felt the way her fingers curled around his biceps as she attempted to in some way hug him as he brought her closer and closer to climax.
He felt his breath start to shorten as he hurtled nearer and nearer toward the edge of the precipice.
Tohru cried out loudly when the first wave of her orgasm hit her. "Kyō!" she shouted as her body began to pulse around him. "More . . . ! D-Don't stop!" She felt herself drowning in an ocean of light as wave after intoxicating wave swelled within her body lifting her up and down in an embrace of euphoria.
His pace continued faster, feeling his emotional tether to Tohru flash with heat as she came around him, her passage feeling slightly slicker as he continued to thrust within her. He felt his chest swell with pride and pleasure as she broke around him, feeling elated that he was able to bring her to orgasm. It was a compliment to his ego that his cock could give her that kind of pleasure.
Tohru's finger's gripped his biceps tightly as she felt herself clamp around Kyō's hardness, feeling herself fall into an abyss of pleasurable light as the sensation of his cock inside her only heightened the experience, the feeling of fullness thrilling her in ways his tongue hadn't. She cried out his name as the summit of bliss lanced through her being, his thrusting, his fullness, increasing the pleasure immeasurably as he prolonged it.
He continued moving, desperately now, wanting to prolong her pleasure for as long as he could as the amazing sensation of her walls clenching him set alarm bells off in his mind—he wanted to finish with her!
Are you going to do it? asked a voice deep within himself. Are you really going to ruin her like that? If you finish inside her, you could ruin her life in more ways than one.
He tried to quiet the thought and force himself to live in the moment, but it was no use. In spite of the voice, however, he'd already made his decision. And he hated himself for it.
You filthy asshole. You should at least ask her!
I don't need to! he shouted back. She already told me . . . she said, "You are allowed to be selfish, just this once."
He felt himself nearing the edge as her pleasure laden body still wrapped around him, gripping him in a vice of pure heaven.
Just this once, he murmured, just this once and then I won't ask any more . . . , he begged, pleading as much with himself in his mind as with Tohru.
Just this once, he was at the breaking point, and then I won't ask any more . . . .
Tohru's eyes opened when she suddenly felt Kyō thrust deep within her, holding himself inside her, his eyes crushed shut in pleasure.
I promise!
Kyō felt time stop for several heartbeats as he drove himself into her as deeply as he could. He was at the edge, now, and there was nothing that could keep him from falling over.
A lightning bolt of pleasure cracked in his mind as he felt the first pulse of his cock inside her and the stream of white heat that accompanied it. He let out a shout as he felt it! His breath shuddered as the ecstatic throbbing continued and felt with wonder as his seed shot from the core of his body, from his soul, out of him and into her.
He let out a guttural roar of ecstasy as he joined her in the wells of pleasure, and they held each other tightly as they fell further and further into the love they felt for each other. The roar of euphoria resounded loudly in their ears as in that moment, the world became white-hot and searing as elation caught them in a whirlpool of sensation as they knew only each other.
Kyō moaned as he continued to pour himself into her, body and soul, unable to help but feel as though he had just tied their spirits together forever.
Tohru's blissful cries continued ringing throughout the room as she looked up at him through her own orgasm, feeling his liquid passion flow from his body, offering her its heated potential and the comfort of his presence. She held his arms as he continued thrusting through their respective peaks a few more times before finally pushing in deeply and resting his body, barely touching hers as he held himself on his forearms, for a few moments as he caught his breath.
She felt her orgasm subside and resisted the urge to wrap her arms or her legs around his waist for fear of transforming him.
As his breathing finally slowed down enough, he opened his eyes slowly. She was already looking up at him, her shimmering eyes shining with love for him. Her body looked to him as though she were wreathed in a soft fog as they settled into the afterglow.
Kyō didn't want to move from her, desiring to stay connected to her for as long as he could, but finally forced himself to pull out and lay next to her. She turned to face him yet kept her distance as she reached out her hand to caress his arm.
"That was wonderful, Kyō," she whispered.
He smirked gently but then looked off to the side slightly as he leant on his elbow beside her.
"Listen . . . I'm sorry . . ." he murmured.
"For what?" she asked, slight concern tingeing her voice and widening her eyes slightly in question. She sat up a smidge.
"For finishing inside you," he said.
She seemed almost relieved at his answer and she smiled at him, letting herself fall back into the mattress. "It's fine," she said.
"I should've asked, though."
"You didn't have to. If you had asked me, what do you think my answer would've been?" she asked.
He looked at her for a moment before clucking his tongue and shaking his head in slight annoyance. "You probably would've said yes. It's the way you are."
She smiled. "You know me."
His eyes opened again and he looked at her carefully under his eyelashes. "Oi . . . you sure I wasn't taking advantage of you?"
"O-Of course not!" she said in that cute, defiant way of hers. "I know you, Kyō, and I trust you Kyō! You're not the type of man to do something intentionally bad to someone that you like. You're always trying to be so thoughtful," she said, propping herself up on her side as she let the sheet fall away from her, her naked torso revealing itself even in the dark room.
Kyō's eyes widened as she spoke. He hadn't expected her to be so defiant. To be so . . . affirmative with her defence of his character. He smirked, closed his eyes and shook his head. She'd make a great lawyer.
She took his hand softly. "If you really thought that I would've been hurt by you doing that, I know you—you wouldn't've done it. You're just worried still . . . because you're still thinking that happiness is something that should be withheld from you."
His smile faded and was replaced by a contemplative look as he regarded her.
"You don't think," she continued in a shy whisper, "that it makes me happy to have part of you still with me?"
There was a moment's pause before he suddenly leant over to her in an instant and took her into a deep kiss before parting from her. "And you don't think . . ." he started slowly, "you're not worried about . . . what'll happen if you get pregnant?" he asked. "I might've ruined your life with my selfishness."
She shook her head and caressed his bicep. "I wouldn't mind, if it were yours," she said quietly. "I would treasure him."
The woman was a miracle. More than a miracle.
"You would want that?" he asked, his eyes looking on her carefully.
She smiled back sweetly. "Whether it happens or not . . . I wouldn't mind it. You're special, Kyō, even if you don't see it," she said as she ran her hand up and down his arm. "Don't listen to people who put you down and tell you there's nothing good about you. There is something you have that is innately part of you that is worth passing on. I can see it so clearly."
It was the metaphor of the onigiri all over again, he realised. He leant in and gave her another peck on the lips.
"I trust you," he whispered. "I trust your vision of who I am," he finished as his hand reached over and caressed her forearm.
To hell with Akito, thought Kyō. Tohru's my goddess.
Kyō let out a sigh as with that thought, he felt something within him dissolve. His soul was lassoed to her, now, no matter what may come. They were irrevocably tied.
He let go of her arm and laid back.
"We still have the whole evening," she murmured as she reached over and started caressing his chest and abs. "Is there anything else you want to do?"
He shook his head "no" as he stared up at the ceiling.
"Just feel like being here with you," he murmured.
The two of them spent time talking about nothing—about work, the graduation ceremony, what Tohru was planning for lunch and breakfast the following day; anything to keep from thinking about what the following evening would bring.
"I think we should get some rest," Kyō eventually said as he looked over to her.
She nodded in agreement and tried to rest.
For the next half hour, though, neither of them were able to get to sleep as the anxieties of the following day's sorrows kept them alert and apprehnsive.
Kyō found himself staring up at the ceiling silently. Pain lanced his heart as the memory of what would happen tomorrow came back to mind and he lay there.
"Kyō?" Tohru asked, "Are you awake, too?"
Kyō was silent for a moment but eventually said, "Yeah . . . I'm awake."
She said nothing.
"Why aren't you asleep?" he asked.
"You know why, Kyō," she said. There was a slight tremor to voice.
So she couldn't help thinking about it either, he thought.
"Will they let me visit you?" she asked. "Until you're free, will they let me visit you?"
Kyō wanted to tell her, "yes" but of course he couldn't. "No," he whispered, pain clutching his chest, "they won't."
"So we only have tonight," she said in a trembling statement.
He nodded and said, "Yeah."
She turned around and faced him. "Then I'll stay with you. I'll be with you all night."
His body already ached from missing her and he reached out to brush his fingers against her cheek. "I don't want to leave you," he said quietly, his voice trembling with sorrow and want.
She reached over and placed her hand over his heart, feeling its strong beat as she spoke softly though emphatically. "You're not leaving yet, Kyō! You're not gone yet, Kyō! You're here!"
There was a tense pause and suddenly, Kyō was over her again, his eyes intense as he stared down at her. His kiss met her with a fiery intensity as he once again positioned himself at her entrance and pushed inside her.
They both groaned in pleasure as he did so, clinging to each other as Kyō set a harder, passionate pace.
"You're here, Kyō! You're here!" she cried out as pleasure mounted within her.
Tohru! his mind shouted, I'll always be here with you!
Their lovemaking continued until once again they collapsed as they were both subsumed by pleasure.
-.-.-
In the wells of that second afterglow, they fell into silence as they lay side-by-side. They remained there meditatively as they drifted in and out of sleep as the night grew darker. Each time Kyō or Tohru's thoughts fell into despair as the next day drew closer and closer, they would interrupt each other with kisses, love-making, and reassurance. Tohru stayed with him all night, each of them hoping that their time together would help make up for his future absence.
Gradually, they fell into a deep sleep, turning back-to-back to keep from hugging each other.
However, when the dawn of sunlight tinged Kyō's room with gold that following morning, it found Tohru nestled in a hug, Kyō's arms around her in a comforting embrace as he held her from behind in his sleep. There was no hint of magic or the curse as his hold tightened around her. They shared a sleep as they met each other, freely, in their dreams.