What Comes Next

Summary: After Season 1. Victor just came out to his family, Andrew kept a secret (!), Mia saw Victor and Benji, Felix and Lake had their moment, Venji happened! My take on what happens next…

A/N: This ended up being super long, but I couldn't resist. It's ten chapters; however, I do have the whole thing written. I just have to edit each chapter before I post.

** also, hardcore assuming that COVID doesn't exist in this universe - I have another covid conscious fic coming eventually**

*** I've essentially been working on this since season 1 came out. I lost motivation for a while with everything happening with the pandemic and work, but then they dropped the trailer and I found that motivation! I cheated and incorporated some stuff from the trailer in here where I could without compromising the story I'd already created and to cope with the fact that I still have ten more days until I can actually find out what's going to happen, I decided to post this ***

~ Chapter 1: Summer ~

Victor's POV

"No, not nothing. Mom, Dad… I'm gay."

I exhaled and with that breath, I felt euphoric.

It was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time, I could fully appreciate the weight of the burden I'd been carrying with my secret, and I closed my eyes as I realized that I'd done the impossible.

I'd been terrified of the idea of coming out since 'gay' was just a vague thought I had while navigating the pressures of a highly conservative town in Texas. The words were out there now. I never had to worry about saying them to my parents for the first time again. No matter how they took it, the words were out there.

I wanted to live in this moment forever; I wanted to keep my eyes squeezed shut so I could pretend, behind my eyelids, that my parents were supportive; I wanted to live in the moment where I was unequivocally myself and where the words I'd just spoken were a feat of bravery and not stupidity.

The moment was short-lived because eventually, I had to open my eyes and see my parents. Eventually, I needed to face the awkward silence.

When I did look around at the three shocked faces staring at me, I realized how much I'd allowed myself to hope that I was wrong. I'd said time and time again that I knew my parents wouldn't take this well, but I'd hoped that they would accept me unconditionally anyway. I hadn't meant to hope, but the crushing disappointment I felt proved that I'd deceived myself as much as I'd deceived everyone else.

I looked away from my parents towards Pilar, who looked surprised but was otherwise indecipherable. In all the scenarios I'd pictured, I always thought I'd have her support when I came out. It occurred to me for the first time that, with everything happening, she might not have it in her to deal with this. She might not see my coming out as an answer but as another stone that had been thrown through our fragile, crumbling glasshouse.

I started to feel nauseated as the silence stretched on. What had I been thinking? I never should have told them, not right after they said they were separating. I didn't think a worse time existed to throw another wrench into our lives.

Yet, I didn't regret it; I couldn't make myself regret it. All I needed to do was think back to that moment on the bench with Benji and how strong I'd felt in his embrace. It wasn't even Benji, though he was certainly part of it. It was the feeling of finally being me, and I wasn't willing to let go of that; I couldn't keep denying myself.

It hadn't been the right time, but it would never be the right time; not for my family. There would never be a right time to tell my conservative parents that I was gay, but it had been the right time for me to let go of my shackles and let them see me.

The silence started to feel endless. I tried counting, but I couldn't focus long enough to make any sense of the passing time. Even when I tried to restart, I had no concept of how far I'd gotten with my counting. Did I make it past one? Was I counting too fast? I honestly couldn't tell.

I decided waiting for their reactions was a thousand times worse than the actual coming out. I'd thought getting out the words, 'I'm gay' would be the hardest part of coming out but compared to this waiting game, that felt easy.

All I could think about was what would come next. What were they going to say? What were they going to do? Were they going to end the silence and welcome me with open arms or were they going to adamantly reject this part of me? Were they going to say anything at all or would the silence stretch on forever?

I pulled my eyes away from Pilar and looked at my parents for the first time. My father was expressionless, his face giving away nothing. It filled me with a sense of dread because he was never one to conceal his anger or his joy.

My mother was somehow worse. She looked confused as if she was working through a complicated puzzle. Not angry, not upset, not neutral. Confused. As if what I'd just told her didn't fit into her understanding of the world.

I jumped a little when a hysterical chuckle broke the tense silence. I couldn't fathom what was remotely humorous about this situation.

"Nice try, mijo," my mom said. "We knew the two of you weren't going to like this, but come on. You haven't done this since you were a little boy."

"Done what? What are you talking about?"

"Do you remember when Pilar killed the goldfish because she wanted to air him out?" my mom asked. "You made up this whole story about an eagle flying through the window just so she wouldn't get in trouble, but eventually we figured out the truth because your story was ridiculous."

I stared at my mom, not quite able to understand what she was saying. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"We don't want you telling these lies to keep us together. I'm sure we'll find our way back to each other. In a few months, we agreed that we'll go on a date, but we can't find each other again if we don't get our space. I'm sorry." She looked sincere which only boggled me more.

Then I processed her words, and I felt like the world was closing in on me. She didn't want me telling these lies. For her, it made more sense that I'd lied and said I was gay than that I could actually be gay.

I'd spent so much time preparing myself for their anger and judgment; I was entirely unprepared for her denial. It never occurred to me that my parents just wouldn't believe me… I should say singular parent because I couldn't get a read on what my dad was thinking. He gave nothing away.

The walls got closer until I could practically feel them pressing against me. How much must my mom hate even the possibility that I might be gay to reject it so immediately?

"I'm not lying," I said quietly. I'd been prepared to defend my sexuality, not prove it, and I wasn't sure how to go about that.

"Please, we've known you for sixteen years. We would know if you were… like that." My mom's lip curled just slightly as if merely saying the word was unfathomable. She glanced over at my dad and seemed to realize for the first time that they were on very different pages with this. "We'd know, Mando," she repeated.

"I didn't even know," I pointed out. "It took me a while to figure it out. Back in Texas, it never seemed possible, so I didn't let myself think about it much. I've never really been attracted to the girls I knew and when we moved here… I had the chance to figure myself out. Mom, I'm telling the truth."

She shook her head. "But Mia…"

"We broke up," I interrupted. We hadn't had the official breakup talk yet, but we were most definitely broken up. "I should have broken up with her a long time ago, but I kept hoping that I would…" I cut myself off. If my mom was in denial about my sexuality, she definitely wasn't ready to hear about how I'd figured out I was gay. That and Benji were stories for another time. "I'm not sorry to be gay."

"You should be," she snapped. Her confusion was gone and was replaced by cold, hard anger. "I did not raise you to-"

"To what?" I asked. My anger rivaled her own. "To be myself? To do what's right? To live my truth? I'm pretty sure you've told me my whole life that you just want me to be true to myself. Well, mom, that's all I'm trying to do."

She got a stony look on her face. "This isn't you. This isn't."

"This is me."

She crossed her arms and didn't say a word. She didn't need to. I could see it written across her face. She looked like she hated me. I'd never, not once, seen a look like that directed towards me before. "Papi," I pleaded.

"Both of you, go to your rooms. Your mother and I need to talk about this," he said. His voice was as even as his expression.

"But-"

"Go!"

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Pilar's POV

I flinched. "I'm not going to my room," Victor said. He turned and walked out of our apartment.

"Well, that went well," I grumbled.

"We do not need this from you right now," my dad snapped.

"Yeah, I'm sure Victor didn't need that either," I argued. In truth, part of me was mad at him for telling them as our family was falling apart, but it wasn't his fault. The bigger part of me was so proud of him… and a little guilty because I'd never once considered that 'B' might not be a girl. Oh, God. I'd asked Benji if Victor worked with any girls. That probably should have been a dead giveaway.

"Pilar. Room," my mom said. She still wore a stony expression on her face, though it had lessened considerably after Victor left.

"No, I think I'm going to check on Victor. He should know that someone in this family still loves him."

My parents didn't say a word which only filled me with disgust. I'd been sure that would get some kind of reaction from them. When I got outside, Victor was standing at the top of the stairwell. He was typing away on his phone. I figured he was texting Benji or Felix; I'd never seen him text so fast or so angrily before.

He sent whatever he'd been typing and looked like he was going to start to descend the stairwell.

"Victor, wait," I called. He turned to face me and I had to look away when I realized he was crying. "Are you okay?"

"No."

"You had to have known this was coming. What did you think was going to happen when you told them? Did you think mom was going to bake a rainbow cake?" I instantly felt bad. I didn't think this was the kind of thing he could prepare for.

"No, of course not," he said. "I didn't know what to expect. I just wish…" he shook his head. "I guess it doesn't matter. I can't change who they are."

"Give them time," I suggested. "They love you." I knew that everything that just happened probably made it seem like they didn't, but we knew them. They loved us no matter what. I thought the bigger problem was that… they didn't really seem to like Victor right now and that was almost worse.

"Didn't look like it," he muttered.

My face fell. "I'm sorry. I wish things were different for you. I know it's not enough, but I love you." I walked closer to him. "I'm here for you."

Victor hastily wiped his eyes. "Thanks."

"I'm serious. Whatever shit our parents might pull… that's on them. I'll help you get through it."

He closed his eyes for a second before he pulled me towards him for a hug. I couldn't remember the last time I'd hugged him. It was before we moved, for sure. I didn't realize how much I missed it. He always had a way of making me feel like I was safe with him when he hugged me and this was no exception.

When we broke the hug, I asked, "is Benji 'B'?"

"Yes," he said. "I'm so sorry you had to read that note. I'm sorry I let you down."

"You've never let me down. I'm…" I coughed to clear my throat. "I'm sorry for what I said before. You are still Victor. You are still my brother."

"I can't even tell you how much it means to hear. that"

"Come back inside. Don't run from this," I suggested. "Please. We can do a Salazar sleepover tonight. Let's forget about mom and dad and make a blanket fort with Adrian. Just like we used to do in Texas." It had been well over a year since our last Salazar sleepover. It was before we moved and before our parents started fighting; it was even before I started dating Eric. "Please."

He looked torn for a moment. "Adrian's probably sleeping."

"Then we'll just crash in his room. We need a parents-free night. Just the three of us. Maybe you can make pancakes in the morning and we can have breakfast in Adrian's bed. Come on."

I held out my fist to him and I saw his eyes widen. We hadn't done this in years, not since I was a little kid. Whenever we had something we couldn't tell our parents (it was usually something stupid like a broken vase or when I didn't do well on a spelling test - like I said, really young), we did this. It was our way of saying, "I got you". He hesitated only a moment before he wrapped his hand around my fist.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor's POV

Little Pilar had said or done could have surprised me more than her holding out her fist. I could still vividly remember the first time we'd done this.

Pilar had been six. She'd been running around our apartment while our mom was vacuuming and had looked behind her. When she looked forward, the end table was in front of her. She ran right into it and sent the lamp flying. It shattered into a bunch of pieces.

She'd started hysterically crying about how mom and dad were going to kill her, so I'd put all the pieces in a trash bag (I still wasn't sure how I'd done this without accidentally cutting myself on a shard) and moved one of the lamps from my bedroom out to the family room. We'd been too young to leave the apartment by ourselves, so I'd hid it in my school backpack and threw it out there. When I'd gotten home, we'd created the little gesture to show that everything was going to be okay and that I had her back.

I felt like this was the opposite of me having her back. I turned her life upside down. While I was still holding her fist, I said, "I'm so sorry, Pilar. I know this wasn't the best time to tell them and I didn't want to hurt you more, but I co-"

"You don't need to be sorry," Pilar interrupted. She sighed. "Part of me is so angry with you. I want to tell you to leave and go wherever the hell you were planning on going. I want to be furious with you. For not telling me sooner, for telling mom and dad when they're separating, for bringing Mia into our lives and letting us fall in love with her when you knew you never would." I hung my head. She was right and I knew I deserved it, but it still hurt to hear. "But the other part of me? It's so fucking relieved, Victor." I looked at her surprised. "When I found out you cheated on Mia, I didn't know who you were. You weren't my brother who would rather chop off his own hand rather than watch someone suffer. You weren't the Victor that took the blame for about a hundred things I did when we were kids because you didn't want me to get in trouble. You're still that Victor. I get it; I get why you couldn't tell us. I get how this happened if you were figuring things out, and I'm sorry if I was part of the reason you couldn't tell us sooner."

I swear she was trying to make me cry again or something. "Thank you."

"So, will you come in?"

"Yeah. We can camp out in Adrian's room. Just like old times."

The smile that spread across her face made it worth it. I didn't particularly want to listen to my parents argue about me or, even worse, agree about me, but I felt like I owed it to Pilar.

We walked in just in time to hear my mom say, "he's just confused. I do not have a gay son." She and my father were both on their feet and, even if her words weren't currently shouting on repeat inside my brain as if they were worried I hadn't heard them properly, we would have been able to tell that they were clearly arguing with one another. So much for all the progress they'd made.

I felt like I'd been slapped. I thought it was the worst thing she could've said. Not that she couldn't have a gay son, not that she didn't know how to accept this. Both of those left room for grey area and room for her to learn to live with it. No, she hadn't said those. I do not have a gay son.

I didn't think she meant it this way, but it was kind of like I wasn't her son since I was gay. As if I had ceased to exist because she didn't like this part of me. It crushed me. I didn't know what she'd said before that, didn't know if they were arguing the same side or if my dad was defending me. Honestly, I didn't care. The only things I could think about were the words that had come out of her mouth and the hurt look on her face. I do not have a gay son.

"Victor," my dad said when he noticed we'd come back in. He took a step towards me and that pulled me from my daze. No. I felt like something was clawing at my chest. It was choking me. I couldn't be here.

"I - I'm sorry, Pilar. I have to go."

She squeezed my hand and nodded at me. I could see tears in her eyes and it was almost enough to bring me back down. Almost, but my mom's words were louder than the voice that I should stay.

I shook my head before I turned around. I was running before I was out the door. I thought I heard my dad call my name, but I couldn't deal with this. It was too much for me. I needed to get away. I needed to get far away from those words. I do not have a gay son.

I didn't pay attention to where I was going; I just focused on getting away. I was going to run until my world started to make sense again if I had to.

I ran down the middle of the street and just kept running. There was something exhilarating about running in the middle of the street. I knew it was dangerous, but it made me feel like I was waking up. I took random turns that I wouldn't have a chance of replicating later. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I do not have a gay son.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Simon, I've made such a mess of things. I don't think I could have screwed up more if I tried. You were right about everything. I should've told the truth a long time ago. Now? I don't see how I can come back from this.

Mia saw me kissing Benji tonight, so now she knows about me. She's crushed and it's all my fault. I should have told her right after Willacoochee or after I got back from New York. I shouldn't have waited. You were right; of course, you were right. It was never going to be the right time, but it definitely wasn't right for her to find out that way. I feel like I broke my best friend's heart… I don't feel that. That's what actually happened. All because, when she gave me the chance to be honest with her, I didn't do it.

I also kinda came out to my parents and sister. It didn't go well. My sister took it okay, but my parents want nothing to do with me now. Maybe I shouldn't have told them. No, I definitely shouldn't have told them. I just wanted to be me. I'm so tired of pretending to be someone else because of how someone else might react. My parents are separating, so I guess you could say it was the wrong time. Am I crazy for coming out to them after they told us that?

I feel crazy. Or maybe I'm something worse than crazy. I hurt so many people and nothing can really make that okay, can it? I feel like everything is falling apart. I don't know what to do.

Love, Victor

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Felix's POV

Everything happened so fast. I still had trouble wrapping my head around it. When we'd climbed off the stage and Lake had suggested we go somewhere to talk, I had not anticipated that we would end up lying down on the track around the football field looking up at the sky. It was pretty cloudy, so there weren't many stars visible, but I still thought it was the most beautiful night sky that had ever existed.

Lake was resting her head resting on my stomach. She had my jacket around her shoulders. It was a cool night, and I'd offered it to her when we first walked outside.

We'd been out here over an hour and neither of us had said a word. It was uncharacteristic for me. I was usually one to fill awkward silences with awkward chatter, but I was afraid to ruin this moment. Part of me believed that if I broke the quiet that stretched between us, I would find out I imagined everything Lake had said on stage. I wasn't ready to let go of this, even if it was only an illusion.

I didn't want to wake up from my fairytale. Someone had posted the video to creeksecrets already. When we'd first gotten to the track, I'd rewatched the video about ten times before Lake turned my phone off and put it in her bag.

"You're quiet," Lake said after a long time had passed. I opened and closed my mouth and she shifted so she could see me. "Felix Weston is speechless? What? No romantic speeches about anglerfish?"

"Not tonight." I chuckled nervously. "I don't want to say the wrong thing. What you did on stage was amazing," I told her seriously. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."

"It was never that I wanted nothing to do with you," she told me. "I… I feel like I'm about to sound like a complete bitch, but what other people think about me matters. A lot. I thought it was more important than anything."

"And what do you think now?" I asked.

"I think it's still important to me, but you're important to me too. I can't say it's all going to come easy to me, but I'm going to try to let go of that. If you can be patient with me, I'd like to give us a shot. I like you, Felix."

My heart might actually be taking flight. I knew I was hopelessly in love with Lake, but I didn't think she was ready to hear it yet so, instead, I said, "I like you too."

This was the greatest night of my life.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Isabel's POV

The day after Victor came out to us, I found myself sitting on the steps in front of our apartment complex with Armando. We'd been sitting here since the sun had started to set and it was long gone now.

Victor hadn't been home since he ran off, but he'd checked in with Pilar, so we knew he was safe. Part of me thought I should be enraged, but too much was happening for that to be at the front of my mind. There was little room for anything other than Victor's confession. After a good night's sleep, I was able to face the impossible. Victor might not have been lying. The thought makes my heart twist into knots.

"Does this change anything?" Armando asked, pulling me from my thoughts. His voice was jolting, kind of like a lightning strike to my brain. I had trouble figuring out what he could be talking about.

When it does come to me, I didn't need to think about my answer. "No. We still need the space," I told him. Now more than ever, I felt like I needed space.

Armando sighed. "What are we going to do about Victor?"

"Let him get this out of his system. He'll come home eventually," I told him. I knew my son. No matter how angry or confused he was right now, he'd be back.

"I wasn't talking about tonight," Armando pointed out.

"I know." I shivered. I'd grabbed my jacket on the way out but it was a particularly cold night for the beginning of May. Or maybe it just felt cold.

"I'm having a hard time with this too. It's a lot for me to wrap my head around."

"Do you think you ever will?" I wondered. I couldn't fathom it. Right now, the thought of Victor being like that made my skin crawl. It wasn't the life I wanted for him.

"He's my son, and it's who he is. I have to."

I wrapped my arms around myself. "It's who he is."

Why didn't anyone see how crazy that was? Why didn't anyone realize that there would have been warning signs or something? They all made me feel like I was insane, but… I knew my children, all of them. I would know. Victor might believe this; the fact that he was still gone and hadn't returned to apologize proved as much, but I knew in my heart that this wasn't him. "I just don't see it that way."

"Then maybe this time in Texas will be good for you. It will let you clear your mind. Isa, you'll have to try with him. If he feels strongly enough about this to tell us, then it's not going to go away," he pointed out.

"You don't know that."

"Yeah, I do," he told me. When I looked at him, I could see it. He may not have liked it, but he believed Victor could be like that. It was probably the craziest part of this whole situation. I couldn't understand how Armando wasn't filled with the same doubts I was. Why wasn't he talking about how to get through to Victor? Why had he already accepted that our son was beyond help?

I didn't say anything else. Mando let us sit there in silence for another hour before he retired inside. I stayed outside to pray for guidance for my family.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Benji's POV

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as my phone rang. I answered it without really seeing who was calling. It was early. Or late. I felt like I'd just fallen asleep. "Hello?" My voice sounded heavy and tired.

"Hey, Benji. It's me. I'm so sorry. I didn't know who else to call."

I immediately sat up. The sleep that had clung to me before vanished at the frantic tone of Victor's voice. "Victor? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No," he answered. His voice cracked a little. Was he crying? "Everything's a disaster."

"Where are you?" I asked. I flipped on my light switch and waited for my eyes to adjust. I could make out the 2:17 of my alarm clock.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I just started running, and I don't recognize anything."

"Okay, calm down. Do you see any street signs?" I asked. I was already out of bed and was putting on my shoes.

"McAllister," Victor answered at the moment. "McAllister and something that's covered up by anti-pot stickers."

I would have laughed if this wasn't so serious. Fortunately, I knew where McAllister was. One of my bandmates lived on McAllister until their parents got divorced in October. Now they lived in one of the nicer apartment complexes in Shady Creek. "Don't move. I'm coming."

"Okay."

"How'd you end up at McAllister anyway?" I scrawled a note to my parents and left it taped to my bedroom door. I doubted they'd wake up before I got back, but I didn't want to take any chances. The last time I'd left the house after they'd gone to sleep, they'd been woken by a phone call that I was in the hospital. "Don't you live a couple of miles away from there?"

"I…" Victor stifled a sob. "I just needed to get out, and I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

"Okay," I said simply. I really didn't want him freaking out when I wasn't there to help him; I could wait to get details until I saw him. I closed my front door behind me. "I'll be there in five minutes."

"You live close to here?" Victor asked.

"Close enough," I confirmed. I only lived about half a mile from McCallister, but the street itself went on for almost three miles. I was banking on the fact that he wasn't all the way at the end of McCallister.

I did a walk-run hybrid as I made my way to Victor. Luck was in my favor because I rounded the corner and could see him at the end of the block. My heart sunk when I saw him sitting on the curb grasping his hair in his hands. "Victor."

He lifted his head and in the glow of the streetlight, I could see his tear-streaked face. I ran towards him. He climbed to his feet in time for me to pull him into an embrace. He was wearing the same suit he'd worn to the dance. There was a tear in one of the sleeves and a few scratches on his face that made him look like he lost a fight with a tree. I knew that I couldn't ask. He didn't need my questions; he needed my support.

"I'm here," I whispered. "I'm right here." Victor shook as I held him. I had no concept of how much time had passed. I couldn't tell if I'd been holding him for seconds or hours or maybe days. All I knew was that something was very, very wrong.

His grip on me tightened. "Mia saw us."

I pulled back. "What?"

"She saw us. On the bench."

"Shit. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"Is she okay?"

He shook his head. "Andrew was taking her home the last time I saw her. I should have told her sooner. I shouldn't have waited. I just really wanted her to have one last good night."

"And you've just been wandering the streets since the dance ended?" I asked. "That was almost four hours ago."

"I have been walking around for four hours, but I didn't make it to the end of the dance. I… went home and came out to my parents."

I fully pulled back. "You what?" My eyebrows shot up. I knew he'd planned on telling Mia, but he hadn't said anything about his family. Not that we'd done a ton of talking. I'd just figured him being fully out was still a ways away from him. Selfishly, it made me really excited to know his parents knew. It was like he chose me or something. I knew that was ridiculous and that he hadn't chosen me; he'd just stopped hiding who he was, but I couldn't quite shake the feeling like he'd done it for me.

"I had to," he said quietly. He looked at me like he was desperate for me to understand. "I needed to tell them. I needed to be me."

"I'm so proud of you."

"They hate me."

"I'm sure they don't hate you." I brought my hand to his cheek.

He shook his head. "You didn't see them." He looked up at the sky and I saw a single tear slip down his cheek. I wiped it away with the pad of my thumb. "My mom said she didn't have a gay son." His voice caught in the middle of his sentence.

I wanted to tell him that if she didn't have a gay son, then he didn't need her. I wanted to tell him that he deserved for his parents to love him unconditionally. I wanted to tell him that he was too good for her. I didn't say any of that. Instead, I told him, "give her time. She'll come around."

"But what if she doesn't?" He asked.

I pulled him into another embrace. The words were on the brink of my lips, but I knew I couldn't actually say them out loud. I couldn't tell him that he didn't need his mom when he was spiraling right now. "Everything will be okay," I said. "I got you."

I managed to get Victor back to my house and we spent the rest of the night sitting on the rickety bench swing that hung in my backyard.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor,

First off, you're not crazy for coming out. No one is ever crazy for coming out. You did what you needed to do, and I am so freaking proud of you.

Secondly, did I read that right? Did you kiss Benji tonight?

I'm sorry that Mia saw you *When. You. Kissed. Benji. TONIGHT* (not to change the subject, but are you really just going to freaking leave me hanging with that?). I'm not going to lie to you. It's not great. I can't say everything will be okay with Mia, but all you can do is give her space. She needs to heal from this. When she's ready, you owe her the truth. The whole truth, even if you don't want to give it to her.

I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. And I'm even more sorry that they didn't take your news well. I know it sucks but, hopefully, time will help them come around. It probably seems impossible right now, but hang in there.

If there's anything we can do, let us know. You can call me anytime, day or night. We're all here for you.

Love, Simon

P.S. in case you didn't hear it before, we're all so freaking proud of you. Bram's about to break out the Proud Dad mug.

P.P.S. Justin says deets or it didn't happen (re: Benji)

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor's POV

Six days after I came out to my family, my parents were sitting in the kitchen when I got home from work.

"Come here, Victor," my dad said.

I thought this was going to be the moment we finally talked about what had happened. My parents hadn't brought up my coming out, and I'd go as far as to say my mom had been avoiding me. I was simultaneously terrified and excited to talk about this. Pilar walked out of the bathroom and joined us. Okay, so this was a full-blown family meeting. I couldn't tell if it was better that way.

"What's up?" I asked.

Our parents glanced at each other. "We just wanted to talk to the two of you about our plan," my dad explained.

"Your plan?" Pilar asked. She looked at me and I shrugged. I had no idea what was happening.

"When we decided to separate, we came to an agreement about what this would look like," my dad said.

I felt like my heart twisted itself into a pretzel. "You're leaving," I guessed.

"No," my dad said. "We can't afford two places in Atlanta, and I can't leave my job."

"Then what?" Pilar asked.

"I'm leaving," our mom answered. "I'm going back to Texas for the summer."

"Texas?" Pilar was instantly infuriated. "Is this about Roger?"

"I have some unfinished business with Roger, yes, but that's not why I'm going back there. I can stay with my sister for a while, go back to my roots. This is the move that makes the most sense for us. I'll be back at the end of the summer."

"Is there a chance you won't come back?" Pilar demanded.

"No," our mom said firmly. "I will not be away from all of you that long. I'm just going so we can all take a break. We all need to sort some stuff out." I didn't miss that she wasn't just talking about her and dad. "Once I have a clearer head, I'll be back, mijos. I promise."

She left two days later. They spent money we didn't have on a flight for her. We were awkward and stiff when we said goodbye to her, but we all knew that there was a very real chance she would find out that she wanted to be with Roger. For all of her promises that she'd be back, I didn't know if she would be.

Two and a half weeks after that, the school year ended, which plunged Benji, me, and our brand new relationship into summer. I didn't realize what a gift the end of the school year would be. We hadn't told anyone at school about us, but we also hadn't specifically hidden it. We just hadn't kissed or held hands in the hallway.

But then summer came and we suddenly had all this freedom to be ourselves. Benji's parents worked all day and, since he was an only child, he had the house to himself… or rather, we had it to ourselves. When we weren't working, we were together. Whether that be making out on his giant bed in his giant house, or babysitting Adrian while Pilar was at work. We lived in a bubble. Summer was going to be awesome

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Felix's POV

I came home on the last day of school to a letter in our mailbox reminding us that our rent was due five days ago.

"Mom," I called when I walked in. She was sitting on the couch with a book in her hand. She looked over at me when I called her name. "Did you forget to pay rent?" A guilty look spread across her face and she looked down at her lap. "It's okay," I said quickly. "We can pay it now. It's no big deal."

"We… can't pay it right now." She was looking back down at the couch and a slightly haunted look settled on her face. "I got laid off."

I tried to keep my face neutral. "Laid off." The last time she'd been "laid off" it was because she'd stopped showing up to work. I'd been in sixth grade, and it was the first time I understood what it meant for my mom to have depression. It was the first time I could remember her depression getting in the way of the life we were living. The illusion of my perfect life that I'd been clinging to shattered then. My mom had gone to see her doctor and had been put on antidepressants that had seemed to help. "Do we need to call Dr. Roger? Adjust your meds?"

"No. It's not like that. Not this time." She sounded adamant, and she didn't really look anything like she had last time. Before, she'd walked around like a zombie with an emotionless look on her face. She'd spent days on our couch, not eating or showering. A lot of that time had been spent in the dark as she just stared at the wall. "I'm looking for a new job. Once I find one, we'll be fine."

I felt my nerves twist in my stomach. I wanted to believe her so, so badly, but part of me was terrified that this was the start of her spiral. "Okay. I'm, uh, gonna go see Lake." I left the letter on our kitchen counter.

I called Lake once I was outside, but her phone went right to voicemail. I didn't last long sitting on the little brick ledge. I needed to do something. I started to walk around and literally bumped into Pilar. She was holding a blue hat and shirt in her hands.

"Hey," I said surprised. "What's up?"

"Oh, you know. Living the life," she said sarcastically. I raised my eyebrows at her. "My apartment isn't a great place to be right now, so I got a job."

I didn't need to ask her why her apartment wasn't a great place to be. Victor hadn't talked to me a ton about it, but I'd heard him telling Benji how weird things were. "Where are you working?" I asked curiously.

"I'm going to be living the glamorous life of a fast-food clerk." She didn't look particularly thrilled about it.

"Hey, I think that's cool. It's something to do this summer," I pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess. And it'll be nice to have some extra cash."

"Are they hiring anyone else?" I asked. I hadn't thought about getting a job until now but if I could make some money this summer, then it would give my mom some wiggle room to find a new job. I didn't know how much I could make in one summer, but I hoped I could make enough to keep us on top of our rent.

"I don't know. I was surprised that they hired me at all because all the college kids are back. You could always ask if you're interested. Or talk to Victor and Benji. Victor's been complaining about Benji's summer schedule because the college kids that usually come back graduated, so they're gone for good and Benji has a ton of hours. I think Victor said they're trying to hire some new people so they can enjoy their summer."

"Huh," I said. That wasn't a bad idea. If they were understaffed, I might be able to pick up more hours.

She looked at me curiously. "You okay?"

"What? Yeah, of course. I'll see you later," I told her before I walked away.

Benji wasn't working. I knew he wasn't because Victor had mentioned they had plans today. Those plans usually involved them gazing into each other's eyes which was, quite frankly, a little nauseating sometimes. I knew that I was head over heels in love with Lake, but Victor made me aware of how differently some people expressed that love. Our relationship had been in the spotlight since Spring Fling. I think Lake overcompensated (I wasn't complaining). It was different from Victor and Benji's quiet, subtle romance.

Sarah was there and she handed me an application before I even finished asking her if they were hiring. When I finished filling it out, she didn't spare it a second glance before she beckoned me behind the counter and showed me how to make a cup of coffee. The way Victor had talked about his interview with Benji, I expected sexy music to play in the background, but he must have been in love with Benji even then because there wasn't anything remotely attractive about steaming milk.

The whole process lasted about ten minutes before she offered me the job. She looked delighted when I told her I was looking to work as many hours as possible.

That was how I came to spend my summer working at Brasstown. Between my work schedule and the shifts I picked up, I almost made just enough to cover our rent. Overtime saved me. Every single time Benji and Victor made their way on some romantic weekend getaway (usually a secret one), I picked up Benji's or Victor's shifts.

We were still a month behind on our rent because it took me an entire month to make enough to pay May's rent and then all of July to pay June's. On top of that, we needed to pay our electric bill which we never had enough to cover. It seemed like it was a constant cycle of is the notice today about our power getting turned off or is it about our rent? Our cable and internet had already been turned off and, with a fee to turn it back on, I didn't anticipate that happening anytime soon.

I was terrified of what would happen when the school year started. There was no way I'd be able to work enough to cover our expenses. I didn't even want to think about how I was going to do homework without the internet and possibly without power.

I tried to suppress the anxiety that filled me every time I thought about school, but I had no idea how we were going to make this work and my mom didn't have a job in sight.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Mia's POV

I could hear my dad and Veronica laughing together when I got home from my art program. I followed the laughter to see my dad with his arms around Veronica. They were standing next to a disassembled crib and didn't look like they'd made much progress on putting it together. "Hi guys," I said.

They broke apart and Veronica looked at me nervously. I couldn't blame her. Things had been particularly weird between us since the Spring Fling. You'd think two months would be enough to wipe away that discomfort and embarrassment, but I didn't think I'd ever get over it. I was mortified by the whole thing and, following my lead, she hadn't brought it up. That didn't mean we weren't stuck in this weird limbo that neither of us had any idea how to get out of. I'd gone from openly rejecting her to sobbing into her shoulder on the same day. That would never not be weird.

"Mia, hey," Veronica said.

My dad's face lit up. "Mia! How was it? That sculptor lady came in, right?"

"Yeah, it was pretty great. She's going to be at our exhibit in four weeks which is pretty cool," I told him. My dad had found out about this amazing art program for young artists and had been able to pull some strings to register me after the deadline. I'd been attending for four weeks and it was totally awesome. "I see you bought a crib?"

"My sister sent it to us," Veronica explained. "She's done having kids, so I guess she thought we could use it. We were debating whether we want to put it together or whether we want our baby to have their own new set of bedroom furniture."

"Because someone doesn't think I'll be able to get this together."

"No, I just know my sister and I think it's more than likely that we're missing something," Veronica tossed back.

There were times that they seemed so utterly in love and I was happy for my dad, but it was really difficult for me to watch them like that. "Right. Well, I'm going to my room."

I started to turn away. "Wait. Before you go, we wanted to talk to you." I turned back and tried to keep my face neutral. "You know we had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday?" I nodded. "We found out the sex of the baby and dropped it off at a cake shop that does gender reveal cakes. Well, we picked up the cake this morning. We were hoping to wait for you to cut into it."

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Of course." My heart pounded in my chest. This was an unexpected twist in my day. My dad gestured to the kitchen. "Now?"

"Why wait?" he asked. "I can't think of a better way to find out than with the two and possibly three most important women in my life."

"If you're not ready, we don't have to do this now," Veronica promised me. "We could always freeze the cake and wait a little while."

"No, no. We can do it now," I said. I didn't think ruminating over what she was having would help any.

I went to the kitchen and, after a minute, they walked in.

There was a white box with a messy 'Brooks' scrawled on the top. My dad cut the piece of twine that was around it and broke the sticker at the bottom before he flipped open the box.

I had to admit, the cake itself was cute. There was a teddy bear on the top and a bunch of multi-colored question marks. They carefully moved the cake out of the box.

My dad and Veronica held the knife together as they cut in. The moment after they made their second cut seemed to last forever. Things just kind of slowed down as I stared at the cake.

Then they pulled out the piece of cake and I zoned in on the vibrant blue. "You're having a boy," I whispered. I felt a smile spread across my face. I hadn't realized until that moment how scared I'd been that they might be having a girl. It was probably irrational, but it was like if my dad had another little girl, maybe he wouldn't have room for me.

But a little brother? I could jump on board with a little brother.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Lake's POV

It had been a long five weeks. It felt like Felix was working more than he wasn't. I was crazy jealous of Victor and Benji who seemed to constantly be off on different romantic interludes (Felix always covered them, so I was hyper-aware of it). They were living the summer I wanted.

Felix had been promising for weeks that he would only be working the morning shift on the fourth of July. Benji and Victor had invited us to go camping with them - I wasn't super thrilled at the idea of it, but Felix wanted to go, and I wanted to spend time with Felix, so it was our compromise.

Plus, I was promised a campfire and there was something irresistible about a campfire.

We met at Brasstown when Felix was supposed to get off of work. Benji and Victor were already there and were sitting at a table sipping coffee when I showed up. Despite his assurances that he would be done at 4, Felix worked until after 5 when the random rush of people caffeinating it up dissipated.

I would've been more upset, but Victor told me he figured Felix would get roped into working longer, so they'd planned not to get to the campground until 6.

When Felix finally threw his apron in the back and joined us, I was so excited for an entire night with him.

Victor ended up driving. Benji was borrowing his dad's car, but Victor schmoozed his way into the driver's seat, claiming that his license was feeling neglected because he never had the chance to drive - he was saving up for a car but thought it was going to be several more months before he had enough to buy a used car. It took Benji half a second to cave on that. He was so gone for Victor; it was adorable.

We arrived at the campground right around 6. Victor went in to talk to some guy in a cabin that looked like it was getting ready for Halloween if the number of spiderwebs in the windows was anything to go off of while Benji led us to the site we'd been assigned. We were right in front of the lake where they'd be setting off fireworks.

It was when we got to the campground that I realized my hopes of a campfire might have been squashed. There was a fire pit in the middle, but it wasn't lit. "Does anyone know how to make a campfire?" I asked.

Felix and Benji glanced at each other before they shook their heads. "I've seen it done in movies. How hard can it be?" Felix asked. "Do you think we have to forage for wood?"

"This kinda sucks," I grumbled.

"What sucks?" Victor asked. "I got the permit." He waved it as if that was what we were worried about.

"None of us knows how to start a campfire."

He chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I'll start it after dinner."

"What are we doing for dinner?" I asked. I probably should have asked before, but I didn't think about it.

"Benji's got it covered. He's quite the culinary connoisseur," Victor teased.

It turned out dinner was sandwiches. I didn't know about Benji being a culinary connoisseur, but they were good. It turned out, in addition to two tents and a picnic basket, Benji brought cornhole. Victor and Benji obliterated me and Felix three times in a row before I said, "okay. We're switching up teams. Hot people versus Victor and Felix."

I got an indignant yelp from Felix, but Victor only laughed. We switched, and Victor and Benji were so evenly matched that our game ended in a stalemate so we could watch the sunset.

"Do you need help with the fire?" Benji asked.

He looked towards Benji. "No, but can you start to set up the tents? We probably should have done that before."

Benji nodded but quickly got distracted as Victor started stacking sticks and pieces of wood in the pit in the middle of the campground like it was second nature. We watched in amazement as Victor managed to create a roaring fire within a few minutes.

"How'd you learn how to do that?" Benji asked. The flickering flames somehow made him look hotter, which I really didn't think was possible.

"I'm a man of many talents," he said mysteriously.

"Okay then. Let's see you pitch a tent," Benji challenged.

"I said many talents… not all of them. I learned how to make a campfire at church barbecues and youth group camping trips, but those happened in heated cabins, so…"

Benji chuckled. "Come on. I'll teach you."

They wandered off to set up the tents. I watched them for a minute. Benji said something that made Victor laugh.

Felix took a seat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. "You okay? You've been pretty quiet. You didn't even make a comment about Benji and even I noticed how he looks with the fire."

"Yeah, well, there are only so many ways to describe perfection," I told him.

"There she is." He gave me a kiss. "I've missed you."

"Me too. Your work schedule sucks."

"I know, and I'm sorry." He glanced at Victor and Benji, but they seemed lost in their own little world. "With my mom being laid off, money's tight. I need to take as much work as they'll give me."

"I know." I snuggled more into his side. "I'm just glad you worked it out so you could be here."

"Me too."

I soon lost myself in him. It wasn't until Benji and Victor finished putting up the tents that we broke our kiss.

When the fireworks started, I watched in awe. It felt like we were so close to them. "They're amazing." I turned to Felix and saw he was watching me.

"Beautiful," he confirmed.

I watched the fireworks create light patterns on Felix's face for a minute before I said, "I love you."

He almost looked like he was going to cry. I knew he'd loved me for a long time, but he hadn't said it to me yet. I thought he was waiting for me to say it first. For a breath, he didn't say anything. Then he whispered, "I love you too."

He kissed me gently. "And you complain about us," Victor teased. He threw something at Felix, but Felix hardly seemed to notice.

His smile lit up the whole night.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor's POV

Benji was standing in the corner of his room thrumming away on his guitar. I was lying back on his bed and had my eyes closed as I allowed his music to surround me.

His band was going through a rough patch where they'd all decided that until he and Derek "got their shit together", they were suspending practice which meant his bedroom became his new practice space. He'd reached out to Derek a few times to try to talk to him, but he'd yet to get an answer.

I wasn't particularly looking forward to the day that Derek was ready to talk, but I was trying to be a supportive boyfriend, so I kept encouraging Benji. I trusted Benji and I knew it was inevitable that he would need to talk to Derek; they needed closure. I got that because it was all I wanted from Mia. I wanted to be able to apologize and tell her that I never meant to hurt her. We both had to wait for our exes to be ready and waiting sucked.

"I think that maybe it's time for you to meet my parents," Benji said casually as he stopped playing his guitar. I shot up and stared at him. He was still looking down at his guitar. "I know that your dad isn't ready to meet me, but this doesn't have to happen at the same time. My mom really wants to meet you and my dad… doesn't hate the idea of meeting you."

"Um…" I didn't know what to say. The idea of officially meeting Benji's parents was terrifying. "Are you sure you're ready for that? That seems like a big step."

He either didn't hear me or was pretending that he couldn't hear me. "I was thinking maybe Friday at 7? We don't have work, so we could have dinner with them. My mom was thinking of making her homemade chicken parm."

"That sounds… really planned out," I said suspiciously.

"I was supposed to ask you like three weeks ago," he admitted. "My mom's been asking about meeting you, and I've been dodging her because I didn't want to bring it up after everything went down with your parents."

"Do you want me to meet them?" I wondered.

"Yeah, I kind of do."

"Okay then. Friday," I agreed. I fell back against his bed so he wouldn't see how scared I was.

He jumped onto his bed, making his entire mattress bounce, and draped his arm across my chest. "Thanks." He kissed my cheek. I turned my head so he could kiss me properly and chase away all of my fear.

Three days later, I met Benji outside of his house. I'd texted him because the idea of knocking on the door by myself nearly made me bail. "Oh my God. Did you get my mom flowers?" he asked.

"Is it too much? This is the first time I'm intentionally meeting someone's parents." When I was supposed to meet Mia's dad, I hadn't given it much thought, but I desperately wanted to make a good impression on Benji's parents. Surprisingly, the idea had come from my dad. He'd brought my grandparents on my mom's side gifts the first time he met them to show them he was serious about her.

Benji chuckled. "No, it's not too much; you are too much. They're going to love you," he promised. He gave me a light kiss. "Come on. Are you ready to meet Peter and Amanda Campbell?"

He held his hand out to me and I took it nervously. He squeezed it reassuringly as we walked inside.

His parents were standing in the hallway. His dad was closest to me, so Benji introduced us first. "Dad, this is Victor Salazar. Victor, this is my dad, Peter Campbell."

"It's so nice to meet you, Mr. Campbell." I dropped Benji's hand so I could shake his dad's hand. I hoped he couldn't tell how nervous I was. "Thank you for having me over. These are for you." I passed him the chocolates I'd bought. I didn't know much about Benji's dad, but Benji had complained before about how his dad had a pretty big sweet tooth, so he needed to hide anything he didn't want his dad to eat. I hoped this was a good gift. His dad looked startled but pleased, so I hoped that was a good sign.

"Victor, this is my mom, Amanda Campbell."

"Hi, Mrs. Campbell."

Her eyes got big as I passed her the flowers. "Please, call me Amanda. These are beautiful." I wasn't ready when she pulled me in for a hug. My eyes met Benji's and he looked as surprised as I felt. "I should go put these in water. Dinner will be ready in five minutes. I hope you like chicken parm. Benji said you'd eat anything."

"He's right," I assured her.

"Benji can show you around while we're waiting."

I didn't try to tell her that I'd been here almost every day over the last month and a half. I wasn't sure if they knew, and I wasn't about to unintentionally get him in trouble.

Benji didn't show me around; instead, he brought me to his bedroom. "They don't seem to hate me," I observed.

Benji looked troubled. "I know."

"Are you upset?"

"No, it's not that. I'll be thrilled if this holds. I just don't want to fall into a false sense of security. Eventually, they have to be themselves again, right?"

"I dunno. Maybe this time is different," I suggested.

He looked skeptical but dropped it. He was a little on edge throughout dinner but seemed to relax with every passing second that nothing happened. I wasn't going to pretend that it was the perfect dinner; we had our moments of awkward silence, but I didn't think it was terrible.

When Benji walked me outside to kiss me goodnight, he hugged me for a solid minute. "I'll call you later."

I pulled him close to me and kissed him deeply. I wasn't unconvinced that he wasn't going to go back inside and hear his parents tear me apart and that made me cling to him just a little longer.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Benji's POV

I didn't go back inside until Victor disappeared from view. I was almost positive that my parents were about to unleash their unfettered opinion of Victor, and I wanted to bask in our victorious dinner for another minute.

I'd spent an entire year listening to them complain about Derek, so I had a lot of trouble believing that they were as on board with Victor as dinner made them seem.

I braced myself before I walked back inside. They'd moved to the living room and were whispering back and forth. "So, what did you think of Victor?" I asked, figuring it would be better to rip off the bandaid.

"We thought he was charming." My mom took a sip of wine and continued to watch whatever was playing on TV as if she hadn't just said something of monumental significance.

"Really?" I asked.

"You look surprised," my mom observed.

"Well, yeah. You aren't usually so welcoming to my boyfriends," I pointed out dryly. "Or boyfriend, I guess. You hated Derek."

"Derek never made an effort with you," she said dryly. "You seem really happy with Victor."

"I am," I confirmed.

"It's a nice change."

"What do you mean?"

She frowned and bit her lip before she turned to my dad. He paused the TV - I guess they were watching a movie. "We mean… we love you, Benji. And we just want you to be happy. You deserve that, and we always felt you were settling for being less than happy."

"I was happy," I protested.

"Were you?" My mom asked with a sad smile. "You seem so… you with Victor." She shifted on the couch so she was leaning forward a little. She extended her hand and pulled me towards the couch. I obediently sat down next to her. "I know you asked us not to compare Victor to Derek…" I had. Extensively. I'd essentially begged them not to mention his name because the first time they'd met Derek, they spent the entire time talking about my most recent ex-girlfriend which was all kinds of awkward. "But I have to. Because the son that came to dinner tonight was happier and freer than the son that's been walking in that door every day for the last six or seven years at least."

"So, you really like him?" I asked.

"He seems good for you." She brushed my hair out of my face. "He didn't let you put yourself down and was so quick to compliment you. He's what we've always wanted for you."

"Thanks," I said softly.

My dad didn't say anything, but he didn't seem to disagree with what my mom had said, so I'd take it.

I let myself sink into the couch until I could rest my head on my mom's shoulder. Tonight had certainly been full of surprises.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor's POV

I walked home in a daze. Benji and I had prepared for the worst-case scenario, but really, I thought it went about as good as it could have gone.

My dad was waiting up for me when I got home. "How'd it go?" he asked. He was stiff, but he was holding firm to his promise that he'd try to get more comfortable with this stuff.

"I think it went well. They seemed to like me."

"Of course they did. They'd be crazy not to."

"Thanks," I said quietly.

"Vic, come sit down for a second."

I walked over to him and sat down on the couch. "What's up, papi?"

"This whole thing has been hard for me," he started. "But that's not an excuse. I can't accept this if I can't see it, so… I want to meet him. Benji." To his credit, Benji's name sounded like it only took a medium amount of effort to get out.

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes. I really am trying."

"Thanks," I said softly.

"How's tomorrow?"

"We work until 4. How's dinner?"

He nodded before he stood up. He took three steps away before he turned back and gave me a hug. He kissed the top of my head before he went to his bedroom.

It went surprisingly well. Not that I was expecting it to be a disaster, but I didn't expect it to go as smoothly as it did. 100%, credit for that went to Pilar who spent the entire night redirecting the conversation to Benji and highlighting his many, many, many great qualities. My dad didn't say anything that made me want to disappear and, while he was stiff and uncomfortable, he wasn't much different than Benji's dad, which I took as a really good sign.

Our last month of summer seemed to fly by after that. Being able to hang out at my apartment or his house when our parents were home meant we got to spend almost every waking second together. I could spend hours on his bed listening to him play his guitar; we could spend hours holding each other, staring at the ceiling, and talking about anything; we lost entire afternoons with Adrian as we played board games or went for walks or hung out.

Sometimes, we cooked lunch or dinner together. Sometimes, we spent entire days binge-watching TV from his couch. We had a few movie days with Pilar and Adrian and had a few more only slightly awkward dinners with my dad. There were some days where we spent our mornings babysitting Adrian, and I got to watch Benji's patience as Adrian did magic trick after magic trick on him. Benji made such an effort with him and never once complained about having to include my little brother in stuff. We even spent one memorable weekend at Benji's parents' beach house in Brunswick.

It was the perfect summer.

Our summer was a bubble. We didn't have to think about what other people thought of our relationship because only a handful of people knew. It allowed us to get to know each other without factoring anyone else into our relationship. We also didn't have to think about sex. We'd agreed sex was off the table during the summer because we were both recently out of relationships and, while I hadn't been sexually active, Benji had been. We'd agreed we needed time to focus on ourselves and not on sex.

I loved our bubble. I loved it so much. I wanted our bubble to transcend the real world and allow us to live in it forever. In the bubble, I could see a real future with Benji. I could see myself falling in love with him and doing all the things you do with someone you love.

I didn't want it to end.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Dear Simon,

I can't believe summer is already over. It's back to the real world in a few days for us. Once school starts up again, I know I'll be out. I've loved not hiding myself over the summer and I'm not willing to go back, but I'm terrified. I'm scared that it will be too much for me.

I feel like Benji and I are going to be under a microscope. How did you and Bram manage once both of you were out? I've heard all about your big moment on the Ferris Wheel, but what happened next?

Love, Victor

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Benji's POV

"Of course you have to go. It's your senior year!" Victor pointed out as we sat around the table at Brasstown. Felix and I had closed a few minutes ago, so it was just the four of us. Every time Felix and I were scheduled to close together, we ended up like this. "You're only a senior once."

I played around with my coffee. "The whole party thing isn't really my scene."

Victor scoffed. "You love stuff like this," he argued. "You talked about going last year."

I sighed. He was right. I just knew the party was going to open a whole can of worms that I wasn't sure I was ready to talk about. "We're going, if it helps," Lake added. "Practically the whole school would be there."

I chewed on my lip. "Fine."

"Thanks. You won't regret this." He leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"Ow, ow," Lake teased.

I rolled my eyes before I looked at Victor nervously. "Hey, we should probably talk about what we're going to tell everyone."

Lake and Felix shared a look before Victor answered. "I want to tell people," he said slowly. I stared at him stunned. "I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"I'm sure," he promised. His hand found mine under the table and he squeezed it. "You've given me the entire summer to get ready for this. That was way more than I deserved. I don't want to hide anymore, and I don't want you to hide. There's no part of yourself you should hide."

"Why don't you ever say cute things like that to me?" Lake asked Felix.

"Because the last time I called you a diamond in a sea of graphite, you told me it was weird," Felix told her.

I snorted. I couldn't help it.

"So, this party," Victor jumped in. "It sounds like it'll be fun."

"That's right. You haven't experienced a start-of-the-year party yet, have you?" Felix realized. "Dude, they're always so epic! It'll be all anyone can talk about the first few weeks back. Jay's backyard is epic. We could probably fit the whole school there. His house is even bigger."

"Do you, uh, know if Mia will be there?" Victor asked nervously. He'd tried to talk to Mia once at the start of summer, but she'd said she wasn't ready to talk to him and that she'd let him know when she was ready. He looked towards Lake, and his grip on my hand tightened.

"I'm trying to get her there, but I don't know if she'll go," Lake sighed. It was one of the few things we talked about that made Lake genuinely uncomfortable. She was so torn about this. On the one hand, us being together was a dream for Lake. I didn't know anyone that wanted us to be together more than Lake. Then again, Mia was her best friend and we'd actively hurt her with this. I didn't envy her.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor,

It's funny that you ask. Bram and I used to talk about this all the time. When people talk about us, they talk about how we started, but there is so much more to our story.

Things were kind of tough for a while. Bram and I were forced into a position where we were freaking Creekwood celebrities. I was the gay kid that rode the Ferris Wheel, and he was the gay kid that showed up. If we fought, it was news all over the school. When Bram asked me to prom, it ended up on creeksecrets. Some of our private moments were made public. I'm not going to sugarcoat it; it was really overwhelming. We got together with about three months left of the school year, so there was always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Bram says we got through it because we made the decision every single day to let go of what happened at school, and it's true. We made time every night to find ourselves again and remind ourselves that our relationship was more than the gossip around school.

I think this year will test you in a lot of ways. You're going to learn what it's like to be out and, unfortunately, it's not all going to be great. I'd love nothing more than to tell you the hard part is over, but I can say with confidence that nothing ever felt unbearable when I was going through it with Bram. I believe that you and Benji can make it work if that's what you want.

Love, Simon

A/N: Chapter 2 coming tomorrow!