Trigger Warning: Mention of rape/sexual assault/war

"I'm not saying she's in love with me or anything, but I mean... I don't see anyone writing you fools any love letters."

"Shut up, Luke. Everyone knows the letters are just out of sympathy. She's totally screwing someone else while you're away." Jay teased his friend, who quickly swatted him over the head.

"He's probably right, man. You only started seeing her - what - a month before we deployed? There's no way she's actually at home waiting for you." Randy, another army buddy said joining in.

"Sounds like you have some personal experience with that one." Jay pointed out.

Randy nodded. "Unfortunately I do. But, not any more, fellas. Now I've got my girl, and as soon as I get back stateside, I'm putting a ring on that finger."

"You probably should've done that before you left..." Greg -aka Mouse- jabbed.

Randy just rolled his eyes. "I'm telling you guys, you could learn a little something from the master."

"Well how could I possibly turn that down?" Luke laughed as he ran to catch up with his friend, leaving Jay and Mouse in their dust.

"You got anyone at home?" Mouse asked Jay.

Jay scoffed. "Bro, I'm doing good to keep myself together out here. How the hell would I do it with some chick filling up my brain?"

The friends laughed when all the sudden

BOOM!

A loud bang was followed by a bright flash and just as quickly everything was gone. Everything including Luke and Randy.

Jay and Mouse were thrown backwards and temporarily knocked unconscious. As soon as they came to though, they ran to the sight of the explosion and began to look around for anything they could find of their buddies. There was nothing but ash left. The rest of the group came running out, also hearing the blast, though not witnessing it first hand. They ran to the two witnesses and began asking questions. Jay could hear all of their voices, but couldn't make out one word they were saying. He felt the ground shaking, the dust stinging as it whipped across his skin and lodged into his eyes. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real life there was no way...

Then there was a scream. Suddenly Jay was alone, but the scream seemed to be getting louder and louder. "Hello?" He yelled into the darkness. "Is anyone there?" No answers. Just more screams. "Hello?" The further he walked the louder it got until...

Jay sat straight up in his bed to find himself completely drenched in sweat. His hands were trembling and his voice was hoarse, letting him know it was him that he had heard screaming. It was another war nightmare. He had those every now and then when he came back from Afghanistan, but recently over the last month or so they seemed to be getting more and more frequent to the point where he couldn't even get through the night anymore without one waking him up. It wasn't always the same dream. He had a lot. But watching his friends literally turn to ash in front of his face was by far one of the worst.

Knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, he changed his clothes and instead decided to go for a walk. He didn't have anywhere specific in mind. He just needed to clear his head. But knowing what Chicago was like at night, and not trusting himself with his gun at the moment, he decided the best plan would be to walk to Med. He knew Will was pulling a rare night shift tonight, and thought maybe he'd be okay with just letting him rest in the doctors lounge or something. So having made up his mind, he slipped on a sweatshirt, some shoes and a beanie hat before heading out the door.

He didn't live all that far from Med, and the walk there was always well lit. He was maybe 3 minutes from the ED entrance when he heard a noise. He stopped, listening carefully to be sure it wasn't just his imagination messing with him. There was a shuffling and some laughs mixed with a couple soft cries. Then he heard it.

"Shut up or I'll make you shut up."

It was coming from behind the dumpster.

Jay ran as fast as he could in that direction. He must have made just a bit too much noise though, because a group of 4 guys took off running as soon as he got near. He took notice of a snake tattooed on the forearm of one of the men before he found the victim. It was a young girl laying on the concrete completely naked with only an American flag beside her.

When she saw Jay she began to cry and scream even louder, grabbing for the flag to cover herself. Jay immediately held his hands up to show he was unarmed.

"My name is Detective Jay Halstead. I work for the Chicago Police Department. I'm just here to help, I swear. I won't hurt you." He knelt down beside her, but waited for her to respond before even trying to touch her.

"I'm Emily." She replied, her voice shaking as she spoke.

"Hi Emily." Jay said. "Would you like to wear my sweatshirt? It'll keep you a lot warmer."

She nodded and he pulled it off himself, handing it to her before turning around to give her a bit of decency while she slipped it on.

When he turned back around he saw that it was just oversized enough to cover her, and that alone seemed to increase her trust of him. "Emily, how old are you?" he asked.

"Fifteen." She replied.

His heart broke hearing that. "And are you hurt at all?" He asked.

"I... I don't know. He pushed me back and I hit my head. My stomach really hurts." Tears began to pour from her eyes.

Jay did his best to hold back his own tears as he looked at her helpless and terrified figure against the dumpster. He gently moved her hair out of the way to look for blood, but thankfully didn't find anything more than a bump. "You don't have to answer this question if you don't want to, but I have to ask anyway. Emily, did one of those guys rape you?"

Slowly she nodded her head, sobs choking off her breathing. She collapsed into Jay's chest, holding on to him as tightly as she could.

Jay wrapped his arms around her and held her for a moment before he continued. "We're really close to the hospital. Would it be okay with you if I took you there to get checked out?"

Again she just nodded.

Jay tried to help her to her feet, but her legs were shaking too much for her to keep her balance. So he scooped her up in his arms and carried her the rest of the way as quickly as he could.

When he walked into the ED, he wasn't surprised by how full the waiting room was. But he didn't even stop to check in. A security guard followed him, but as soon as he was through those doors he locked eyes with his brother and all was settled.

Will ran to him, pulling him into an exam room and motioning for him to lay the girl on the bed. "What happened?" He asked.

Jay looked at her and she looked away.

"Her name is Emily and she's fifteen. I found her beside a dumpster. 4 guys ran away when I approached." Jay explained, still holding her hand.

Will nodded, knowing there was more to the story that he would get later. "Okay Emily, is it okay if I examine you real quick?"

Will lightly touched her wrist to check her pulse when she flinched and pulled away back to Jay. "Okay. That's okay. We can take it slow." He said.

"Emily, this is my brother Will. He's a really good doctor, and he'll take really good care of you. I promise. I know it's scary right now after what you've just been through, but I guarantee you that you are 100% safe with him. I can make sure of that." Jay explained, lightly moving her hair out of her eyes.

She looked up at Jay, then to Will. "Is that true?" She asked.

"Every word of it." Will confirmed with a sympathetic smile. "You're in charge of what does and doesn't happen to your body, okay? So I will tell you everything I'm going to do before I do it. And if at any point you want me to stop anything during the exam, just say the word."

She was quiet as she seemed to consider the information.

"If you'd be more comfortable with a female doctor, I can get someone else to come in. That's also an option, but again it's totally up to you." Will added.

Emily shook her head. "No, I want you."

Will nodded and handed her a gown. "Go ahead and change into this, and then we can begin. Are you okay with me bringing a nurse in?"

Emily quickly shook her head, fear returning.

"Okay." Will said quickly. "Okay, that's no problem. I can take care of you."

She relaxed and picked up the gown.

"Jay and I will be right outside your door while you change, and we'll come back in when you're ready."

Will opened the door and let Jay walk out first before pulling the privacy curtain around and sliding the treatment room door shut again.

Once they were alone, the questions began.

"Okay, explain again what happened?" Will asked.

"So I was going for a walk..."

"At 2 AM?" Will interrupted.

"Yeah and thank God I did or that girl would've been dead." Jay replied. "Anyway, I heard guys laughing and someone crying and then someone yelled at her to shut up. So I ran in that direction, the guys took off and left her lying naked beside an American flag of all things."

"My god..." Will whispered.

"I gave her my sweatshirt and told her I was a cop. I asked her name and age and if she was hurt. She said she hit her head when the guy pushed her back, and that her stomach hurt really bad."

"Did you notice any blood on her thighs?" Will asked.

Jay thought for a moment before shaking his head. "I really didn't look, Will. I was just trying to get her covered up and keep her safe. I figured you would take it from there."

Will nodded. "You did good." He said, giving his brother a hug. "And it's clear she really trusts you, which is incredibly difficult to achieve with rape victims. So nice work."

Jay smiled and nodded.

"We should probably get back in there, but don't think for one second that I forgot about your 2 AM walk. We'll talk about that later."

Jay laughed. "I'd be surprised if we didn't."

It took some time, but eventually Will was able to complete his exam and - with a lot of convincing on Jay's end - she even consented to a rape kit. She held onto Jay's hand the whole time, but after a while she also began to relax a bit around Will as well.

It was a long night of tests and psych consults, and eventually surgery to repair damage that was sustained during her attack. But Emily began to feel more and more comfortable at the hospital and finally even gave a nurse her parents names so they could come be with her.

Once they showed up, and the brothers were sure she was in good hands, they both made their way to the doctors lounge. Both of them collapsed onto the couch, exhausted. Will was feeling pretty thankful to be going home, and Jay was thankful he didn't have to go back to sleep for at least 12 more hours.

"I should get home and get ready for work." He said as he stood, but Will grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the couch.

"Not until you tell me why you were going on a walk at 2 AM."

"I can't just want to come visit my brother at work?" Jay asked.

"No, not at 2 AM." Will objected.

Jay rolled his eyes. "I just needed some fresh air to clear my mind."

"Of what?" Will asked, forcing himself to sit up straight and make eye contact with his little brother.

Jay didn't say anything, but suddenly it clicked for Will.

"Nightmares again?"

Jay nodded.

"Did you want to talk about them?" Will offered.

"No, not really. Thanks though. I mostly just wanted to crash on the couch in here. I thought maybe not being alone would help." He admitted.

"Well I'll be home all day and all night tonight. So if you want to come crash at our place, you're more than welcome." Will offered.

"Natalie wouldn't care?" Jay asked.

Will laughed. "Another person to entertain Owen for her? No, I don't see her having a problem with that at all."

Jay smiled. "You know, I might actually take you up on that. We'll see."

"I hope you do." Will said sincerely.

"I really do need to get to work though." He said, jumping up again, this time without being caught.

"Okay, have a good day. Don't die." Will called after his brother who simply laughed and kept on walking.

Author Note

I decided to just write whatever I felt most excited about in the moment, and in doing that I started 3 different stories. This is the one I made the most progress with though, so I decided to post a chapter for it first. This will probably be a long one, so expect other stories to show up while this one is still going on. I know there are A LOT of stories about Jay and his PTSD, but as someone who also lives with PTSD this is just a story I've been really wanting to tell. I'll include trigger warnings whenever I think they may be necessary, but I apologize in advance if I leave something out that's an issue for you. I can't think of anything else that's important for you to know right now, so if you have a question just leave it in a review and I'll answer it in another author note at some point. Thanks for reading!